Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. George Washington's Slaves

Le' Napoleon Brigade is Gandalf w/ Shadowfax, Wonderwoman & Wondergirl, Poison Ivy, Skyfire, Alan Scott, Hecate, Penguin, Duncan Idaho Mentat Ghola #12, Allia Atreides, The Sando Aqua Monster, Emperor Paplatine, Jaws: The Shark, Snow Trooper #46-50, Storm Trooper #51, Aragorn Son of Arathorn, John Mclaine, Morpheus, Jules Winfield & Vincent Vega, Atreides Soldier #1-6, Catwoman, Evil Lynn, Karg, Skeletor's Crack Troops #1-6, Marcellus Wallace, Arwen Evenstar, Horse #26-31, Vito Corleone, Santino Corleone, Silver Dragon #1-6, Ron Meyer, & Lala.



George Washington's Slaves are Yoda w/ Kybuck, Shaak Ti, Ki Adi Mundi, Jedi Master #1-5, Optimus Prime w/ Roller, Cosmos, Hound, Fell Beast #1, Sauron, Suk Doctor #1 & 2, Sandworm #15 & 16, Thor, Collossus, Arisia, Martian Manhunter, Al Dawg, Sayid Jarrah, Stonewall Jackson, Robert E. Lee, Corbin Dallas, Santa Claus w/ Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, & Blitzen, & Rudolf, Sgt. Slaughter w/ Mercer, Taurus, & Red Dog, Jimmy Nuetron, & Cthulu.


Ron Meyer wastes no time as he runs across the grassland toward his arch-enemy Al Dogg. He is furious to see the man that he brutally murdered once again alive. He yells “I thought Al Dogg’s go to heaven, now welcome to Hell” as he rushes toward the dog they call Al wielding his favorite shovel. Right before he swings the large garden tool Al Dizzle flicks his joint at Meyer and hits him in the eye. Meyer flinches and screams while Al Dawg says “What? You don’t like the blunt, gotta problem with da weed”? Al Dog then picks up the shovel and hits Ron Meyer in the head with it, caving in his skull. Al is ecstatic at his first ever Fantasy Fantasy kill which prompts him to start jumping up and down and then die of excitement. Yoda and Gandalf, atop their steeds Kybuck and Shadowfax ride toward each other to do battle while Emperor Palpatine and Sauron begin the battle of the dark lords not to far from them. Santa Claus takes to the air in his sleigh with his BFF Corbin Dallas riding shotgun and the Slaves newly appointed air commander Stonewall Jackson and Suk Doctor #2 riding in the back with the presents. Jimmy Nuetron had planned to put together one heck of a contraption for the NLCS this week but much to his dismay he spent the entire week repairing Optimus Prime from the damage he sustained in Week 1’s match against Better Than All of You. So Jimmy is riding in Optimus as the Autobot leader is driving through the city streets when Hecate flies in from above to attack. She starts shooting at Optimus with her archaic weaponry (archaic in this case means that it will be invented in about 6000 years). Jimmy Nuetron from inside the cab remotely opens the back of Optimus’ trailer to release Roller but the huge Cymek makes short work of the tough little Autobot when she targets him with an artillery blast. Optimus then jumps into the air and transforms into robot form while Jimmy shoots out the side of Prime by using his newly installed ejection seat. It dos not work out very well for the boy genius though as he is quickly shot out of the air by a laser blast from Hecate. Optimus Prime begins shooting his laser rifle at Hecate but it does very little damage to the hull of the huge former Titan. He then jumps onto the side of Hecate and tries to use his laser axe to cut through the hull of Hecate in an attempt to get to the human brain of the cymek. This works a little bit better but he is then thrown from Hecate when she extends a crane like metal arm from her body which throws him into several buildings and destroys almost an entire city block. Hecate then circles around and targets the Autobot leader with enough fire power to level half of a city; which it does along with Optimus Prime. Cthulu dives deep down into the depths of the water to meet the Brigade’s water creatures head on. Jaws bites the leg of the huge Cthulu but the Ancient One knocks the Great White Shark away as if he was a minnow. The Sando Aqua Monster begins pounding his powerful fists into Cthulu but it does not seem to have enough power to take him out. Jaws regains its composure and begins swimming back toward Cthulu but Cthulu grabs the shark and bites it in the side to kill it. While Cthulu is biting the life out of Jaws The agile Sando Aqua Monster gets behind Cthulu and rips the head of the monster right off so it can enjoy a feast like it has never experienced. Cosmos takes flight but Skyfire takes off right behind him. The 2 flying Autobots begin to engage in a dogfight but they both have an idea up their sleeves (or exhaust pipes or luggage compartments or wherever it is that a Transformer keeps an idea). While in mid-air Skyfire opens up his hatch an out flies Alan Scott but evidently the first great American and the last great Frenchman had the same idea because Cosmos opens up his hath and out flies both Arisia and Martian Manhunter. Alan Scott could put up a pretty good fight against either one of these opponents but he does not stand much of a chance double-teamed. Skyfire and Cosmos have commenced their dog-fight when Skyfire loops around to get behind Cosmos. He then locks on with his lasers and blows the little flying saucer out of the air. Skyfire then turns back around to try to help out his homeboy Alan Scott. Alan Scott has no time to even think about an offense as he flies around the skies just trying to stay away from Arisia and Martian Manhunter. Skyfire flies in and transforms into robot form but double M flies in to meet him with a huge punch to chest which breaks right into the metal body of Skyfire. Alan Scott then takes this opportunity to blast Martian Manhunter with as much magical green energy as he can, but he inadvertently hits his own teammate as well. The green blast both hits Martian Manhunter and blows Skyfire to pieces causing a huge firey explosion which helps to finish of Manhunter as well. Arisia takes this opportunity to avenge her teammate by creating a huge green fist with her own power ring and crush the skull of the original Green Lantern just like her former boyfriend Hal Jordan always used to do. Fell Beast #1 flies in to help his master Sauron against Emperor Palpatine but Palpatine quickly jumps into the air with his lightsaber and slices the neck of the Mordor creature. The Dark Lord of the Sith and The Dark Lord of Mordor are in no way used to fighting a being who is as evil as they are and neither one of them quite knows how to deal with it. Palpatine conjures up as much force power as he can muster and blasts it at the Evil One but Sauron simply absorbs it with the one ring as if it was always part of it. Darth Sideous then redraws his lightsaber and jumps at Sauron. Palpatine manages to cut off his left arm at the elbow but with one mighty swing of his huge Mace, Sauron hits Palpatine in the chest and sends him crashing to the ground with a broken neck, among other bones. Aragorn and Arwen come riding in on their horses (#26 & 27) to attack the one-armed Sauron. Arwen casts a spell to try and distract the Dark Lord but he knocks her from horse #27, killing the animal. But the distraction works because as he is doing this Aragorn takes the sword that was broken and forged again and cuts the One Ring off of Sauron much like his ancestor Isildor did so many generations before. Santa Claus swoops down low over the arctic landscape and Stonewall Jackson & Corbin Dallas easily take all 6Snow Troopers by surprise, blasting every one of them but John Mclaine with Lala on his back leaps up and grabs on to the back of the sleigh. Santa flies higher and higher into the air in a Ho Ho hurry to try to send Mclaine plummeting to his doom but he & Lala, who have developed a strange almost father and daughter like relationship since she was picked up on waivers after week 1 continue to hold on. John Mclaine turns his head to Lala and says “What the f&*k are we doing on the back this sleigh” he then adds “how the f&*k did I end up in this crazy league, I can’t believe I’m about to f&*^g fight Santa Claus; how the hell does this S&*t keep happening to me”? Lala adds nothing because I don’t think she can talk (at least I never heard her say anything in the video game, maybe that’s why Lolo thought she was the perfect woman)? Mclaine then flings himself onto the back off the sleigh sending many presents to the gentiles below them. He says “You suck doctor” as he throws Suk Doctor #2 off of the side of the sleigh, but then Corbin Dallas shoots Lala off of Mclaine’s back. Mclaine screams “You shot my F&*+^g fur ball, I’m gonna kill you Mot*&^%r”. Corbin Dallas then turns to his bud Chris Cringle and says “What super-hero is this guy A**hole man”? The 2 of them then start beating the crap out of each other in the back of the sleigh. Stonewall Jackson pulls out his revolver to try and shoot Mclaine but he can’t tell him and Corbin Dallas apart so he doesn’t. Then while Santa is trying to keep control of the rocking sleigh the 6 Atreides Soldiers from down below, who don’t realize that they have a teammate on board open fire on the sleigh with their lasguns. They kill Dasher, Rudolf, Cupid, Donner, & Blitzen and also sever the reins that were connecting the surviving reindeer to the sleigh. Just like they had practiced for many years Dancer and Prancer instantly swoop back and catch St. Nick out of the air (it takes 2 reindeer to carry the chubby old geezer). Gen. Jackson jumps onto the back of Comet, but before Corbin Dallas can get on the back of Vixen John Mclaine gets on the reindeer instead. Mclaine kicks Dallas in the head and knocks him off the reindeer to his death as he is saying “Happy trails Mot&*^%r”! Dancer and Prancer start lowering the Jolly old Saint to the ground, but Stonewall Jackson tells Comet to fly away from this place so they can try to regroup their air attack. John Mclaine shoots Vixen in the back of the head right before he lands and then rolls off into the snow. Just as Santa is about to thank his two magical reindeer for bringing him safely to the ground Penguin turns them into venison with his umbrella machine gun. So the furious Chris Cringle turns the naughty Penguin into a Jack in the Box. Jules Winfield and Vincent Vega lead a small scouting squad into the desert that consists of themselves, Storm Trooper #51 & Vito Corleone and Marcellus Wallace atop Horses #30 & 31. They wander into the desert but after only a few minutes of repeated motions they are all consumed by Sandworm #15. Evil Lynn and Karg are riding on Horses #28 & 29 with their 6 Crack troops marching in front of them when Hound comes racing up with Sgt. Slaughter and the Renegades in his open-aired seats. Slaughter and the boys originally wanted to go on this mission with no weapons for an added challenge but Head Coach George Washington thought that that was the dumbest idea since Thomas Jefferson inviting the English soldiers in for afternoon tea. This was a very good decision of the part of the father of our country because the “sarge” and his renegades made pretty quick work of all 8 of Skeletor’s goons and their horses with Hound moving fast enough to take the troops by surprise. Suddenly the match is stopped so the Watchers can execute an order of the coaches. In a very unorthodox decision Head Coach George Washington has agreed to allow his 2 Sandworms to be removed from the battle, and in return Napoleon Bonaparte will have the Sando Aqua Monster removed as well. They say that they would rather just fight with their remaining forces than have to try to attack these creatures in there own habitat. Wonder Woman is pissed as she turns to Wonder Girl and says “What is that crotchety little midget thinking, I’ll tell you what. I don’t want any more crap about me retreating after this stunt”. Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl then run into the now safe desert and are met by Ki Adi Mundi and Gen. Robert E. Lee. Wonder Woman turns to her sidekick and says “don’t worry; trust me these old Jedi are not as tough as they seem”. She then provides Ki Adi Mundi with a new saying for his kids when she shows him that “the dark side hath no fury like an amazon woman’s scorn” as she dodges the swings of his lightsaber and then ducks behind him to snap his neck. Wonder Girl then runs up to Gen. Lee and kicks him in the face, snapping his neck as well. The 6 Silver Dragons fly in unison toward Jedi Masters #1-5 who have gathered toward the edge of the grassland. Jedi Master #1 jumps into the air and onto the back of Silver Dragon #4. He sticks his green lightsaber into the neck of the dragon and kills it. The other Jedi attempt to imitate this move but they are not all as successful as their leader. Jedi Masters #3 & 5 kill dragon #2 & 6, but dragon #5 kills master #2 and dragon #3 wipes out both Jedi #3 & 4 with a massive breath of fire. Jedi #1 & 5 work together to kill dragon #5, but only Jedi #1 survives the attack as Jedi #5 takes a wrong step and plummets to the ground. Jedi #1 does his patented move on Silver Dragon #1 but when he jumps toward Dragon #3 he is snatched out of the air by the dragon’s teeth and ripped in half. Neither Gandalf nor Yoda was able to protect Shadowfax or Kybuck from each other in the epic fight that has been going on since the beginning of the battle. They are both very worn out from their fight but neither opponent is allowing themselves to shown signs of wear. Yoda leaps at the much larger wizard but Gandalf knocks him aside with his staff sending Yoda one way and his lightsaber in the other direction. Gandalf now attacks the weaponless Yoda with Glamdring but Yoda hits him with a massive force push which knocks Gandalf to the ground and renders him weaponless as well. The 2 mighty warriors then both use their powers against each other but they find themselves in a virtual stalemate as neither of them budge despite the massive power that is being directed at them. Once the 2 exhausted fighters realize that they cannot decide this battle by a test of will, Gandalf rolls to the side to try to grab his sword Glamdring from the ground but while he is doing this Yoda uses the force to retrieve his weapon which he then throws at Gandalf and hits him in the heart. Catwoman moves against Shaak Ti. The 2 of them show off their athletic prowess as they jump around dodging each other’s blows. Catwoman claws Shaak Ti’s face but she recovers from the scratch and cuts off Selena Kyle’s left hand before she finishes her off with a lightsaber through the chest. Poison Ivy sends a vine out of the ground at Sayid Jarrah which hits him with some deadly poisonous toxin. Stonewall Jackson atop Comet then comes flies down to try to help but Poison Ivy sends a tree root out of the ground which impales both him and the reindeer. Suk Doctor #1 runs up next to the dying Sayid who thinks that his life is surely over, but the well-trained doctor knows exactly what to do. After being trained to identify numerous toxins that are used by the noble houses of the Landsraad he administers an antidote which works almost immediately on the former Iraqi Republican Guardsmen. Poison Ivy who thought she was done with this puny threat turns to the 2 of them and shoots an extremely thorny and sharp branch at the 2 of them. Suk Doctor #1 once again saves Sayid’s life as he jumps in front on the fatal attack. She then tries to turn this attack toward Sayid but he dodges out of the way and rolls toward Poison Ivy. She begins to pull more weeds out of the ground in an attempt to strangle Sayid but he is too quick. He jumps into the air and kicks Poison Ivy in the back of the head. He then jumps down of top of her and cracks her neck. Thor the god of Thunder flies down and asks the question “who dares oppose the son of Odin and rightful heir of Asgard”. Morpheus and Duncan Idaho aren’t really the type of people who would say something witty or even answer yes to a question like that but they are the people who decide to answer the call. Duncan Idaho swings his Atreides sword at Thor but Thor hits it with Mjonir and breaks it in half. Thor then tries to hit them both with his hammer knowing that one hit from the mighty weapon would easily put them away but his 2 opponents move so quickly that he is unable to land a blow on either one of them. Idaho catches his arm on a backswing and knocks the hammer out of his hand. Morpheus tries to pick it up but is unable to even budge the Asgardian weapon. Thor picks his weapon back up and throws it at Morpheus who dodges the attack, but Thor’s real plan is to have it do damage on the way back. Duncan Idaho is standing right in front of Thor as Mjonir begins to return to him but Thor underestimates how fast a Kwisatz Haderach can move. Duncan Idaho sees this event before it even happens which is how he moves out of the way allowing Thor to be hit and killed by his own weapon. Sonny Corleone has been following around Allia Atreides for weeks because he thinks she is the “hottest broad in the whole Brigade” which is why he helps back her up when she runs up to fight this huge Russian dude. They soon find out the Colossus is more than a huge Russian dude as he instantly covers his body with organic metal. Allia dodges Colossus’ hits but Sonny finds that his Tommy Gun has virtually no effect on Colossus right before Piter caves in Sonny’s face. Allia continues to evade Colossus’s attacks but then she rolls backward and flips into the air landing a couple feet away from the huge mutant. She then concentrates her energy into one controlled burst and uses the weirding ways that were taught to her by her mother before she was even born. She hits Colossus with every thing she has got and takes his head clean off. The self-proclaimed “Jedi-Killer” Wonder Woman and her sidekick Wonder Girl run up to Shaak Ti who has just regrouped with Yoda. The 4 of them rush at each other but just for size reasons Wonder Girl heads toward Yoda and Wonder Woman towards Shaak Ti. Wonder Woman grabs a hold of Shaak Ti and crushes her head but Yoda gets Wonder Girl with a quick lightsaber jab through the heart. Wonder Woman is furious as she turns to attack the little green Jedi Master but her fury is not enough to carry her through this one as Yoda jumps into the air over Wonder Woman and than cuts off her head on the way down. Hound, Sgt. Slaughter and the boys now roll up on the 6 Atreides Soldiers who are being led by Arwen who is now riding Aragorn’s Horse #26 (because Strider is such a gentleman). Arwen rides in front of Hound thinking she can stop the Jeep with her magic but she is wrong. Hound hits Arwen killing her and Horse #26 but in doing so the Renegades are thrown from Hound. They get back up but they are already being attacked by the Atreides soldiers. Sgt. Slaughter jumps up and takes out Soldier #1 & 3, but #2 & 5 double team Red Dog and kill him. Taurus kills #5 with his Saracen sword and Mercer takes out #2 with his M-16. The other 2 Soldiers are about to shoot Sgt. Slaughter in the back when Hound, now in robot form blasts the 2 of them with his laser gun. Hecate, who is running low on fire power from her perhaps overkill attack on Optimus Prime uses up her last missile on Santa Claus. Arisia flies in to fight with Duncan Idaho and Morpheus but Allia comes to help out. Arisia blasts Morpheus with a flurry of shots from her power ring which he is able to dodge for a while but he is proves to be no chosen one as she eventually hits him and kills him with a potent dose of green energy. Duncan Idaho rushes at Arisia but she takes flight to avoid him. Arisia pays close attention to Idaho’s every move but she does not realize that she is caught up in an ancient Atreides battle plan to draw her attention where it need not be. The ranged attack comes from the other side as a well-aimed crysknife from Allia hits Arisia in the neck. Sayid and John Mclaine both miss several times with their now emptied guns which is why they have jumped onto each other and are rolling on the ground both bloodied and bruised. I was dying to find out who would win this match-up of crazy tough dudes when a perfectly aimed arrow from Aragorn went right into Sayid’s eye. Mclaine then popped up off the ground and said to Aragorn “What the F*&k man, you trying to F*&^g kill me, & besides I had that guy”. After a couple of minutes of cooling off Mclaine then said “Hey Strider, thanks for helping me out back there”. Aragorn nodded and patted his new friend on the back. The remaining members of Napoleon’s squad were wondering why Hecate all of the sudden left the battlefield and flew in to space after she killed Santa Claus, but they didn’t have time to dwell on it. Hecate had flown in to space to meditate and think for a minute about what she had to do like she had done for so many centuries while her fellow Titans were ruling over human planets. Hecate then decided that she must do what is necessary to help her team gain victory which is why she races back to the battlefield at an unbelievable speed. Hecate realizes that although she is out of weapons, she herself is a weapon which is why she then heads right for some of the remaining members of George Washington’s Slaves. Mercer sees what appears to be a huge comet coming at them and yells to take cover but only he and Sgt. Slaughter get away in time as Hecate crashes herself into Hound in a suicide mission which kills both of them and Taurus as well. The 2 of them are then dive bombed again as Silver Dragon #3 comes down and bites Mercer’s head off with its razor sharp teeth. Sgt. Slaughter jumps on to the back of Aragorn and starts punching him repeatedly, but this time it John Mclaine’s turn to help out as he grabs the Elven Knife out of Aragorn hip sheath and plunges it into the side of Sgt. Slaughter. We all know how difficult it must be to become the Senior Jedi on the Jedi Council and to hold that position for several centuries and we all understand how powerful a person must be to attain that kind of recognition, but the extremely exhausted little green Jedi Master known as Yoda even some odds are to extreme. As Yoda stands on the grassy plains, the sole member of George Washington’s Slaves he realizes that he is pretty severely outnumbered as he becomes surrounded by Duncan Idaho, Allia Atreides, Aragorn, John Mclaine, & Silver Dragon #3. Yoda never gives up and goes for the biggest threat first as jumps at the 12th and most powerful Mentat Ghola version of Duncan Idaho and relieves him of his head. He then blocks the Silver Dragon’s fire with the force and cuts off his head at the base of its large neck, but all great runs do come to an end as Allia knocks the Jedi to the ground and Aragorn finishes off an opponent he has definitely grown to respect with his famous sword.
LE’ NAPOLEON BRIGADE IS VICTORIOUS!