Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. The Abomitrons

Team Sleeping Pussy is The Enchantress & Mothra.

The Abomitrons are Hancock, Mega Man & Rush, Kyle Houslander, & Ewok #49.


“OMIGOD It’s Hancock” screams a beautiful fan who runs up to the FFL rookie first rounder. “I’m your biggest fan she screams as she instantly invades his space and then plants a huge kiss right on the lips of the super-powered mystery man. “I don’t exactly remember who you are she says to his partner as she then randomly gives just as big of a kiss to his partner Mega Man who was walking out front with The Abomitrons newest star. The woman then runs away, disappearing into the crowd. Hancock blows off this fiasco and attempts to lead his new team into battle when all of the sudden he feels that his mind is not his own, he then feels nothing at all until he is blasted in the back by his own teammate Mega Man. The 2 of them then begin to fight amongst themselves as if that is what they were sent to Scottie Simpson’s Fish & Chips to do. This fight transpires all while The Enchantress sits quietly by herself at a booth looking out the window as the two “Weak-willed” men do battle over the woman who moments ago they had never heard of but now are madly in love with. Hancock then picks up Mega Man, paying no attention to the huge Moth that is flying overhead and rips apart his new teammate. The Enchantress is then intensely concentrating so she can focus all of her psychic abilities to convince Hancock that the only way to secure her love is for him to fly directly into the sun, but just then Kyle Houslander riding atop Rush busts thru the window of the restaurant right over top of Ewok #49 who is shoving enough fried fish into his mouth to feed all of Endor. Rush crashes into The Enchantress knocking her to the ground and weakening the psychic link that she has established with Hancock. Kyle then runs up to the possessed Hancock yelling at him to pull it together so they can regroup and win this fight. Now whether it be his inextinguishable love for Mary Embery, or Hancock’s superior and inhuman abilities that diminished the power of The Enchantress that usually lasts up to a week, or the inherent difficulty of saying no to a 9 year old offering to share his deep fried clams with you; we will never know, but Hancock does shake his head as if he is about to come back to his normal self when The Enchantress throws Rush off of herself and runs over to Hancock to plead her case as well. “You know that your love for me is what drives you” she says to Hancock as the leather clad super-hero simply moves his blank stare back and forth from The Enchantress to Kyle. “But you are on our team” Kyle adds to the mess that is this match. The Enchantress arrogantly makes her move to win the mental contest by saying “Don’t listen to your new teammate, only I have your best interest in mind, now do me a favor and finish off this troublesome boy”. Hancock begins to move toward Kyle as if to destroy him when Kyle yells “Dude! Don’t be an Asshole”! Hancock then freezes for a second as if an epiphany had just occurred and then in a blink of an eye flies out of the restaurant thru the window behind the counter. Hancock races toward the Massive Mothra hovering above the city outskirts destroying the neighborhood houses (wait a minute those might have been like that before). Hancock is fueled by his anger knowing full well that the task he is about to undertake would have been much easier if he had that little blue dude with the crazy metal armor that he just stupidly killed a minute ago to help him. Knowing that Hancock is going to need all the help he can get Ewok # 49, with his spear in one hand and glass of red pop in the other jumps on the back of Rush as they blast out the already broken window toward the fight. Hancock maneuvers around to the back of Mothra’s head and begins pounding on him with his fists but even his amazing strength is not doing the desired damage to the monster. When Mothra flaps its wings sending out a strange yellow dust-like substance in the direction of the flying mechanical dog it does not do much to stop Rush but it does make pretty short work of the ewok on top of him. It might not have worked so well if the brilliant ewok did not do his best to eat as much of the poison as possible before it passed him by. Hancock and Rush regroup on top of St. Christine’s Church and then take to the air toward the huge enemy. This time Mothra uses his wing flapping lighting type attack which Hancock evades as he easily moves his body thru the air but Mothra manages to take out Rush with the attack. The Mega Dog’s body then flies toward Hancock at such a rate that it would have killed any normal human but this tragedy ends up working in The Abomitrons favor as Hancock catches the robot and launches the metal carcass right thru the center of Mothra’s head killing the huge insect. Kyle Houslander cheers ecstatically as he sees the destruction of Mothra and turns his head to see that The Enchantress is no where to be found, having retreated to fight another day.
THE ABOMITRONS ARE VICTORIOUS!