Built Ford Tough Vs. Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve

Built Ford Tough is Han Solo, Chewbacca, Indiana Jones, Diego, & Baby Jaguar.

Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Marv, Gimli, Brandon Inge, & Battle Droid #1.


It is about midnight in Hale, Michigan as both teams enter Timbers Bar, where you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. Like most of the bar’s patrons both teams completely ignore the sign on the front door that says no guns or knives allowed: “Aye; it doesn’t say anything about axes” Gimli says with a smirk. As they walk into the smoky room, both the male and female bartender stop the teams before they can sit down. The woman behind the bar says to The Built Ford Tough squad “Honies, I don’t think you should be bringin yo’ baby in here” referring to Diego. While the male bartender says to the Kennelz crew “Hey! We don’t serve their kind”! Gimli begins to get indignant at this insult when Brandon Inge reveals to him that it is not dwarves he has a problem with but droids. The bartender finishes his statement with “Your Droid. He’ll have to wait outside”. Inge says to Gimli: “relax Gimli, there are women in this bar who are as hairy and ugly as you”. The Kennelz head to the back of the bar, but before they do Marv turns to Han Solo and says: “You don’t mind if we go back and have a few drinks, before we start this thing do ya”? “Fine by me” Solo replies. Marv, Gimli, & Brandon Inge walk past the soup bar and the pool tables and grab a table by the back window while Battle Droid #1 waits outside the door. Han, Chewie, Indy, & Baby Jaguar sit down at the first table next to the dart boards while Diego waits outside in the Century Falcon (that is the nickname for Han’s ’68 Oldsmobile 442 that they drove to the bar in). Marv & the boys order a round of Black Label and begin to discuss their battle plan which basically consists of drinking about 6 bottles of Black Label and then beating the crap out of these punks so we can get into the play-offs already. Han Solo and his crew sit a little quieter though as Han drifts off in a daydream about what happened to him earlier that day………………. Get ready for a flashback………………… Built Ford Tough Head Coach Sparky Anderson called Gen. Solo & Dr. Jones into his office the afternoon of today’s battle where the following conversation took place. Sparky says: “I’m starting the both of you today in the bar fight”. “Why would you do that”. Indy asks. “I want this G.D. game, that’s why”. Sparky says. Indy replies with: “We got the worst record in the league, it’s a S**t season, let’s throw a couple of Arachnids at it and be done with this year, it just doesn’t matter”. “It matters to the Untouchables” Han adds. Sparky talks over both of them and says: “I don’t care what it means, I want this match. That’s why I’m gonna roll out all the look-alikes. The 2 of you plus Jack Ryan & Harrison”. “No Way” says Solo, “If you play both of them, then there is no room for Chewie”. “Come on Han, we both know Chewie hasn’t gotten a good kill in 3 weeks. I need Jack & Harrison out there”. Says Sparky. Han replies: “I’m not doin it Sparky, it’s me and Chewie or nothing at all. It’s the end of the year skipper and I need it to be me and Chewie one last time”. “Alright have it your way, but I better not regret it”……. Back in present time at the table Indy turns to his teammates and says: “I’m still not sure what we’re doing here, I’ve been in a lot of shady bars all over the world, but I don’t think I have ever seen a place like this”. Chewie replies with something from his own language to which Han says: “It matters to The Untouchables Chewie”. Han then sees Marv and the boys get up from their table and start heading towards them. Marv stops when he sees a guy waving at flies slurring out the words “these bugs are buggin me”. Marv shakes his hand and says “Oh hey Tom, I heard you were dead”. Brandon Inge radios to Battle Droid #1 that it is time for him to ignore the bar’s rules and bust thru the front door to help them out but as the droid turns to do so Diego jumps out of the car and onto the droid’s back. Battle Droid #1 throws Diego off and takes aim but before he can shoot Diego, the kid picks up one of the rocks from the gravel parking lot and launches it at the droid, knocking the blaster out of its hands. Diego picks up the gun and shoots the droid’s head off and then runs into the bar to help out his friends. Diego is about to help them out when Brandon “the dirtiest player in the game” Inge throws a beer bottle at Diego to stun him. Inge then takes out his aluminum bat and finishes the child off. Chewie is enraged by this outrage and rips Inge’s arms out of his socket. Out of natural instinct the people at Timber’s feed the body parts to Baby Jaguar (there weren’t any pigs around). Indy swings his whip toward Marv but Marv puts up his arm and lets the whip wrap around it. Indy pulls him in close but then regrets turning the fight into one of close quarters. Indy is used to fighting and winning against dudes who are bigger than he is, but Marv is to much for him. Marv pulls out a knife and stabs Indy in the gut with it, giving it a good twist to make sure he is done for good. Chewie grabs a hold of Marv and the 2 start wrestling around destroying the bar around them with the fight. The bar patrons look over for a minute or 2 thinking that this fight is one of the worst they have seen at the bar in a while, but then they return to their drinks. Marv dishes out quite a beating to the Wookie but in the end Chewie gets his furry hands around Marv’s neck and then chokes him to death. Gimli is to late to save his buddy Marv but he does deliver a Axe to the back of Chewie’s head to kill the Wookie. Gimli swings his axe towards Baby Jaguar next but before he can connect with the weapon Han pulls out his blaster and puts a bolt right between the dwarf’s eyes. Han then walks up to bar and orders a Pabst Blue Ribbon for the road as he hollers for Baby Jaguar to follow him out.
BUILT FORD TOUGH IS VICTORIOUS!