George Washington's Slaves vs. The Right Wing

I have been appointed by my brethren Joshatu and Ryatu to watch the following Year 2, 1st Week Playoff Match: George Washington's Slaves vs. The Right Wing

As I look into the locker room for The Slaves, I see Wedge Antilles and Admiral Ackbar in The Shuttle Tyderium, Captain Kirk in an Arwing, George Washington in an Exo-Suit, John Connor in an Armored and equipped Hummer, Amazo, Arisia, King Kong, Loki, Martian Manhunter, Neo, Optimus Prime with Roller, Sandworm #15, T-1000 and Yoda.

Captain Kirk: We. . . must. . . win. . .this. . .battle. . .for. . . our. . . illustrious. . . owner!

John Connor: Quit the dramatics Kirk! We’ll be back. . . for the next round of the playoffs!

Yoda: Confidence you have Connor to win this fight. Confidence that must be bestowed upon all on this team.

Loki: Confidence. . . and a little bit of trickery too, for trickery never hurts.

I look into the locker room for The Right Wing and notice Silver Surfer, Hulk, The Pantheon: Achilles, Agamemnon, Ajax, Andromeda, Atlanta, Cassiopeia, Delphi, Hector, Jason, Paris, Prometheus, Ullysses I and Ullysses II in a Hovercraft, Shintor Beerus in an Ornithopter, Gold Dragons #10 and 11, Quinlon Vos in a Tie Bomber, Warpath, Red Sonja, Darth Malak, Red Tornado, Sandstorm, Martin Blank, Poseidon, Baby Storm and E.T.

Hulk: Hulk smash Slaves!

Malak: Smash and slash!

Martin Blank: Rock and roll!

I transport the teams to the multi-purpose and functional battleground. It consists of a desert, a superior lake, grasslands and a forest, all mere miles between each other.

In the desert. . .

Due to the threat of the Silver Surfer (and the fact that he was the MVP for the 2009 FFL Year), the Slaves focus on the herald of Galactus. Sandworm #15 breaks from the ground and surprises the Surfer. The Right Wing is shocked to see that the Surfer is swallowed whole in Sandworm #15’s maw. The Surfer is no longer seen. The Right Wing stands together in horror at their MVP’s defeat and death.

Hector: Do NOT let the Surfer’s death go unavenged! RIGHT WING!!!!

In the forest. . .

King Kong sees Gold Dragons #10 and 11. The great ape roars and attacks the fantastic beasts. Before Gold Dragon #10 is able to release its fiery breath, Kong grabs the dragon by the neck and chokes it to death. Meanwhile, Gold Dragon #11 is blowing fire and singing the fur of Kong. The smell of burnt hair lingers in the air. Kong loses the use of his left arm due to the damage of Gold Dragon #11. Before Gold Dragon #11 is able to finish Kong off, Captain Kirk in the Arwing, flies by and destroys the Gold Dragon #11. In response, the Pantheon’s hovercraft floats into the forest realm. They focuses on the ape, which is already injured. Ulysses II steers the hovercraft, which holds the entire Pantheon members. Atlanta has his energy bow drawn. Perseus grips his energy spear. Hector has his energy flail in hand. Jason has weapons in each hand. Both Ulysses I and Ulysses II have their swords and shields drawn. Andromeda, Delphi and Paris use their “second senses” to assist their teammates in the upcoming battle against Kong. The combined Pantheon force is too much for King Kong who succumbs to the repeated blows of the Pantheon’s weaponry.

In the desert. . .

Sandworm #15 is seen writhing in agony. A hole erupts from its torso as Silver Surfur launches from the beast’s belly, filled with goo, but alive. Sandworm #15 shudders and dies.

In the grasslands. . . .

Yoda meets Darth Malak.

Yoda: Meet, do we, Malak. Finish your life, I must.

Malak: You look like a muppet! [Ignites lightsaber]. I don’t think so. . .

The Jedi Master and Sith Lord combat with equal agility and ferocity against one another. Malak uses his Sith lightning against Yoda. Yoda catches the lightning and turns it around on Malak. Malak suffers the brunt of the attack and falls down. Yoda flips around, does a somersault and spins around in a flurry of movement. This discombobulates Malak. Yoda manages to cut Malak’s arm off in the melee. Malak switches his lightsaber to his other arm and strikes at Yoda. He manages to graze Yoda’s ear off. Yoda, without one ear, lashes out and kills Malak.

Yoda: Although one ear only do I have, my heart is filled with pride in my victory over evil.

In the air. . .

Wedge Antilles and Admiral Ackbar in The Shuttle Tyderium flies below Shintor Beerus in an Ornithopter, unaware of the Jedi Master below. Beerus lands the ornithopter on the Tyderium and begins to cut a hole on top of the Imperial Shuttle. Ackbar notices the Jedi on the sensors and Antilles uses evasive maneuvers to flip Beerus around up top. Although Beerus uses the Force to keep himself on the shuttle, Wedge’s piloting skills is too much for the Jedi and both Beerus and the Ornithopter fall of the shuttle to the battlefield below. As Beerus falls, Baby Storm creates a funnel cloud cushion to float Beerus to the ground safely. Beerus is joined by Warpath, Red Sonja and Martin Blank on the ground.

In the forest. . .

Beerus, Warpath, Sonja and Blank lurk in the forest. They hear the crashing as George Washington in an Exo-Suit crashes through the brush. Washington is joined by Neo and the T-1000. Blank immediately begins firing his weapons at Neo. Neo slows the bullets down and easily dodges all of them. Neo then jumps over to Blank and with extraordinary speed pounds, beats and crushes Blank’s chest in. Blank falls to the ground, not actually knowing who or what killed him. Neo then chides Warpath on. Warpath and Neo enter into a fight. Although Neo’s skills almost parallel the mutant’s abilities, Warpath’s mutant enhanced strength, speed and durability eventually begin to wear Neo down. As the two men fight, Red Sonja sneaks up from behind and drives her sword through an unaware Neo’s chest. Neo leans into Warpath in shock. Warpath holds Neo by the head and shoulders in a combat embrace.

Warpath: You shall die honorably.

With those words Warpath uses his knife and slices Neo’s throat. Blood spurts over the warrior, masking his face in red.

Meanwhile, Beerus fights Washington in the Exo-Suit. Although Washington is giving Beerus a good fight, the Jedi Master is too much for the President in a glorified armor contraption. Beerus uses his lightsaber to sever two of Washington’s limbs. Washington falls to the ground without his left arm and right leg.

Washington, mortally wounded, motions for Beerus to take off his helmet. Beerus, a honorable Jedi, does so.

Washington: Listen to me. I am one of the founding fathers of the United States. I am a namesake of my team. Let me die an honorable death.

Beerus: From one General to another, I shall.

Beerus decapitates Washington swiftly. As Beerus turns around he is impaled by the T-1000’s fingers. Beerus falls dead to the ground. The T-1000 then turns to both Red Sonja and Warpath. Red Sonja tries to battle the terminator, but is slashed in half by the T-1000’s hands. Warpath sees the T-1000 and knows that he will have another fight on his hands. Before the T-1000 is able to battle Warpath, Warpath notices the damaged, but not destroyed, Ornithopter on the ground. Warpath races to the flying vehicle, straps in and takes it off to safety. The T-1000 looks to the other battleground areas.

In the grasslands. . .

Yoda is walking through the grasses when he hears footfalls behind him. Out of the brush comes E.T. E.T. looks at Yoda.

E.T.: Friend?!?

Yoda looks at the extraterrestrial and ignites his lightsaber.

E.T.: Enemy!!!

E.T. begins to run away from Yoda. Yoda chases E.T. when he notices someone flying at him. Yoda holds his lightsaber ready as the gooey Galactus herald surfs toward the Jedi Master in a blinding fury. The power cosmic is too much for the Jedi Master and Yoda is incinerated by the Silver Surfer. As the Silver Surfer flies away E.T.’s finger shines.

E.T.: Thaaaannnkkkssss.

Those are the last words uttered by E.T. as John Connor in his armored and equipped Hummer runs E.T. down and kills him. The Hummer then crashes into the Hulk, who has just landed at the scene. The Hulk smashes the front of the Hummer. The Hummer’s weapons are now useless. The Hulk then rips off the driver’s side door and reaches for Connor. Connor struggles to get to the passenger side door and is about to leap from the vehicle when the Hulk, with the driver’s side door still in hand, swats Connor from the car, sending his dead body through the air like a baseball.

In the air. . .

Warpath in the Ornithopter is looking for his other teammates in the air. He notices Quinlon Vos in the Tie Bomber who is now riding alongside him. Vos nods in acknowledgement and the two fly together. Their comradery is short lived as they are met by Wedge Antilles and Admiral Ackbar in The Shuttle Tyderium and Captain Kirk in the Arwing. Captain Kirk focuses on Warpath and the Ornithopter. He knows that Warpath is the easier prey and uses this to his advantage. He uses the Arwing’s T&B H-1 laser cannon to strike at the Ornithopter. The wings of the vehicle are shredded and Warpath falls to the ground below. Before he hits the battlefield, Baby Storm rescues the day and begins to float the mutant slowly down. Kirk has had enough with the pint sized hero and launches his smart bombs. The bombs locate both mutants and blow them to bits. As the bodies plummet to the ground, Kirk makes sure they are dead and uses his powered up hyper laser to skewer the remnants in midair. Meanwhile, the Tyderium chases the Tie Bomber across the sky.

In the water. . .

From the forest flies the Pantheon’s hovercraft near the battlefield’s waters. The hovercraft is met by the Martian Manhunter and Arisia. Arisia uses her ring powers and Martian Manhunter uses his superhuman strength to pummel the hovercraft into the water below. The Pantheon crew rises to the surface. They begin to fire their weapons at Arisia and Manhunter. Arisia is repeatedly hit and falls to the waters below. There she is pummeled by Jason, Ulysseus I and Ulysseus II. Arisia uses her ring to fend off a majority of the blows, but she finally succumbs to the barrage of weapons and dies. Martian Manhunter takes charge and kills Jason, Andromeda and Prometheus. Poseidon rises from the depths and places the remaining Pantheon members, being Achilles, Agamemnon, Ajax, Atlanta, Cassiopeia, Delphi, Hector, Paris, Ullysses I and Ullysses II. on the damaged hovercraft. The hovercraft slowly moves from the lake back to the forest area.

In the forest. . .

As the hovercraft comes to the forest they are met by Optimus Prime and Roller. The wheeled drone module fires upon the hovercraft’s inhabitants. Roller manages to kill Paris and Cassiopeia. The remaining Pantheon members fire at and destroy the drone. Optimus Prime is then joined by Loki. Loki uses his magical powers to transform the trees surrounding the skirmish into living creatures. The combination of Loki’s magical beasts as well as Optimus Prime is too much for the Pantheon. After much shredding, ripping and blasting is completed, the remaining Pantheon: Achilles, Agamemnon, Ajax, Atlanta, Delphi, Hector, Ullysses I, & Ullysses II, all die.

In the desert. . . .

The T-1000 has trekked to the desert area. The Terminator is met by the Red Tornado. Red Tornado uses his air and wind manipulation powers to whip a miniature sandstorm at the terminator. The metallic body becomes mucked up. The T-1000 is then hit by Sandstorm. The T-1000 is disintegrated and meshed throughout the sands beneath. Optimus Prime comes to the scene and the Transformers fight against one another. Although Sandstorm presents a valiant fight, Prime is too much for Sandstorm and eventually destroys him.

In the air above the water. . .

The Tyderium chases the Tie Bomber. Along to help Antilles and Ackbar is Kirk in the Arwing. The three ships fire upon one another, using torpedoes and lasers. Vos takes the Tie Bomber low to the water. As Kirk in the Arwing is about to lock onto Vos, Poseidon comes out of the water and brings forth a fountain that hits the ship in a torrential downpour. As Kirk attempts to escape the water, he see Vos’ Tie Bomber fire its lasers. Kirk and the Arwing are destroyed. Into battle comes Martian Manhunter, who is flying both Yoda and Loki in his hands. Yoda dismounts from Martian Manhunter on top of the Tie Bomber. Yoda uses his lightsaber to damage the exterior engine system of the Tie Bomber. The Tie Bomber becomes erratic and Vos jettisons out of the Bomber. Yoda leaps off the Bomber and onto the seat with Vos. The Tyderium fires upon the Bomber, which then explodes. Because Vos is strapped in, he is not able to ignite his lightsaber in time. Yoda decapitates Vos and rides the chair to the waters below. Poseidon is about to drown Yoda when all of a sudden Loki hits the water. The trickster god is enough of a match for Poseidon. The two battle and Loki actually manages to gain the upper hand on Poseidon and kill him. Martian Manhunter then picks Loki up and flies away. The Shuttle Tyderium follows the two, but only for a short time before the Hulk leaps onto the ship’s wing. The Hulk begins to smash the left wing of the vehicle. The Tyderium flies out of control, but rights itself eventually due to the expert piloting skills of Antilles and the assistance of Ackbar. It only goes so far though as the Silver Surfer uses his powers to annihilate the ship. The Tyderium and its crew – Antilles and Ackbar, die in a blazing explosion that mirrors the Death Star (before the additional special effects were added in the newly released version).

In the center of the battlefield. . .

The Red Tornado is waiting for his surviving teammates, Hulk and Silver Surfer. It looks as if victory is close at hand. He is set upon by the combined forces of Yoda and Optimus Prime. Tornado manipulates the winds and flings Yoda across the landscape. Prime is not so easily moved as he blasts Tornado. Red Tornado dies.

Across the way Amazo finally shows itself. Amazo is in close proximity with all of the combatants in the final scene. The Silver Surfer and Martian Manhunter battle in the air. The Manhunter is soon dispatched by the Surfer’s powers. The Hulk takes on Optimus Prime. The battle is furious, but the Green Giant manages to rip off the head of Prime. Prime is destroyed. The Hulk and Surfer then use their combined forces to destroy both Loki and Yoda. As the Hulk and Surfer look for the final victim, they notice Amazo (who now has the abilities of Silver Surfer, Martian Manhunter and Hulk). Amazo, to the shock of both Surfer and Hulk, manages to use all of his newly-absorbed abilities and powers to kill the two final Wingmen.

The Right Wing: All dead.

George Washington’s Slaves: Amazo alive.

GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS AND ADVANCE TO THE NEXT ROUND OF THE PLAYOFFS!!!