Pop Superstar Hannah Montana and President Barack Obama’s “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos vs Le' Napoleon's Brigade

Pop Superstar Hannah Montana and President Barack Obama’s “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos are Dave Bowman: The Starchild, The Cloverfield Monster, Bizarro, Black Adam, Parallax, Rodimus Prime, Maxima, Ms. Marvel, Lazarus Long in a Tie Bomber, Agamemnon, Steven Hiller & Astro-Droid #19 in an X-Wing, Warf & Astro-Droid #20 in a Y-Wing, Qui Gon Jinn, & Ahmed Best.

Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade is Even Piell, Obi Wan Kenobi, Skyfire, Hecate, Poison Ivy, The Spice Girls, Man at Arms & Teela in a Land Speeder, John McClane, Maverick & Astro-Droid #3 in a Y-Wing, Goose, Jaws, The Sando Aqua Monster, Leia Organa (Jedi), Coleman Trebor, Æon Flux, Fox (from Wanted) in the Bat Boat, Amazon (Princess Ororo), & Lara Croft.

Just moments before the Commandos are teleported to a rematch from not only the final week of this year’s regular season but also last year’s First Round Playoffs, Dr. Doom pulls Black Adam aside for a few words. “Teth, this is the most important battle of our team’s lives. I am entrusting you to do whatever it takes to secure a victory for The Commandos. I don’t care what Head Coach Obama says or thinks, do what must be done,” says Dr. Doom. “There’s nothing to concern yourself about, Doom. Just don’t forget our agreement,” replies Black Adam as he walks out of the locker room. Once they are teleported to the Playoff Planet, the Commandos are met by Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade, who are fully ready for a fight. Qui Gon Jinn motions for the rest of his team to stay back as he sees Obi Wan Kenobi walking out to meet him in the middle of the street of the city. They both ignite their lightsabers as they walk closer to each other. “Master Qui Gon you do not want to do this,” says Obi Wan Kenobi. “Neither do you my old Padawan. But we both know, sometimes there is no other option,” replies Qui Gon Jinn. They both are about to clash, but Maxima and John McClane both blindside the two Jedi Masters. Now Obi Wan and Qui Gon find themselves fighting side by side even though they are on opposite teams. Maxima fires several energy blasts at Obi Wan, but he is able to block them with his lightsaber. Qui Gon Jinn dodges John McClane’s bullets, as he is able to injure the New York City Detective’s arm with his lightsaber. Skyfire sees his teammate in trouble, so he dive bombs Master Jinn and fires his blasters at him. The Jedi Master is able to leap out of way and starts using his Jedi powers to scale the fire escape on the building next to him extremely fast. He leaps off of the top of the building and lands on the Autobot jet, who was making another pass. Skyfire then starts climbing high into the air, barrel rolling, trying to knock to Jedi off, but he is able to hang on. Qui Gon then ignites his lightsaber and drives deep into Skyfire’s hull, destroying his spark. Skyfire then plummets to the ground, with Qui Gon calmly riding him down. At the last moment, he leaps off of Skyfire just moments before the transformer slams into a building. Obi Wan Kenobi meanwhile has been having no luck gaining an advantage over Maxima. But her arrogance finally gets the best of her, which Obi Wan quickly uses to his benefit. She flies in fast and close to land a powerful uppercut, but Master Kenobi does a spin move, which evades her attack and slices her head off with his lightsaber all in the same motion. Qui Gon Jinn then lands back down on the street, yet again staring his old Padawan in the face. This time they are not blindsided by other opponents and are able to finally engage each other in battle. Qui Gon is slow and methodical, while Obi Wan has adjusted his technique to a much faster method of attack. Master Kenobi then in an amazing feat of speed and agility, does like three flips in a matter of seconds and reluctantly strikes his old Master down with his lightsaber. As Qui Gon gasps his last breaths, Obi Wan kneels down next to him as says, “I’m sorry Master Qui Gon. I had no other choice.” “Do not be…sorry Obi Wan. You…have made…me...proud. Your…skills are...more than I could……” replies Qui Gon as he dies. John McClane walks up behind Obi Wan and puts his hand on the Jedi’s shoulder. “Come on Obi Wan, there’s a lot more to this fight before we’re done,” says McClane. Jaws and The Sando Aqua Monster both are impatiently swimming around the water, waiting for their chance to attack. But what neither expected, they soon find themselves as the prey instead of the hunters, as The Cloverfield Monster erupts out of the water and quickly eats Jaws. The Sando Aqua Monster grabs a hold of one of Cloverfield’s front legs and drags him down underwater. Multiple parasites swim off of Cloverfield’s body and starts attacking The Sando Aqua Monster, but it refuses to go down without a fight. They both viciously attack each other as they sink deeper into the abyss and their demise. Back up in space, Maverick in a Y-Wing is in a sweet dogfight with Steve Hiller, who is flying a X-Wing. The two pilots are extremely well matched, both evading each other’s attacks. Lazarus Long flies in to aid Capt. Hiller in his Tie Bomber along with Warf and Astro-Droid #20 aboard their Y-Wing. Hiller, Long, and Warf then work together to blast Maverick and Astro-Droid #3 out of the sky. Capt. Hiller however isn’t able to light his “Fat Lady Cigar,” because Hecate flies in with her massive spaceship body and blows his X-Wing away. She then quickly blows Warf’s Y-Wing away as well. Lazarus Long with his vast experience is able to evade Hecate’s attack and immediately calls for reinforcements. Agamemnon then flies in to attack his fellow Titan. They both start firing on each other with no regard of their own well-being. The two Cymek Titans continue to wage war on each other as Dave Bowman: The Starchild appears before him. He sees this violent and destructive battle between these two behemoths and decides that it would be better if they both were removed from existence. Which is exactly what he does, even though Agamemnon is a teammate of his. Back on the Playoff Planet, Even Piell, Coleman Trebor, Leia Organa and Obi Wan Kenobi form up by the water and work on a game plan. Just then, however, the injured Cloverfield Monster erupts from the water, victorious from his fight against The Sando Aqua Monster and kills Coleman Trebor. Even Piell slices several parasites in half as they jump off of Cloverfield’s body. One of the giant monster’s external esophagi comes straight for Leia, but she is able to slice a part of it off with her lightsaber. Even Piell and Obi Wan Kenobi then use their Force abilities to leap up on to the monster’s head, but Mast Piell knows that this is an unwinable attack and Force pushes Obi Wan off of Cloverfield. He then starts hacking away at the monster’s head with his lightsaber, even though a parasite has sliced Even’s back open. The Jedi Master continues his assault on The Cloverfield Monster, finally defeating it, but at the cost of his own life. Amazon then takes to the skies only to be confronted by Parallax. She immediately tries to uses her vast weather powers, but Parallax senses her extreme fear of drowning. The fear entity capitalizes on this and overwhelms Amazon and blasts her away with his power. Back in the city, Ahmed Best bobbles his way down a street only to be surrounded by the Spice Girls, or should I say Katrina Highkick, Trixie Firecracker, Kung Fu Candy, Midnight Miss Suki, and Blazin' Bad Zula. The five techo-warrior-popstars completely and horrifically rip apart the poor Ahmed Best. They then try to engage Ms. Marvel, thinking that they can kill her just as easily. However, unfortunately for them and unlike Ms. Marvel, they don’t actually have superpowers. Ms. Marvel quickly flies through the air and easily kills all five Spice Girls. Ms. Marvel is then shot at several times by Lara Croft, but she is able to dodge the bullets. She then flies up to the Tomb Raider and crushes her face in with a vicious right hook. Bizarro then smashes to the ground somewhere in the forest, only to be grabbed by the plants as if they were alive. Poison Ivy then walks out from behind a tree, controlling the plant life. Bizarro then uses his super strength to free himself from the plants. He then uses his heat breath to set ablaze not only most of the forest, but Poison Ivy as well. Fox, who is speeding by in the Batboat, is now shooting at Rodimus Prime. She’s finding her target with every shot, but let’s be honest, the bullets just aren’t getting the job done against the Autobot leader. Rodimus pulls his photon eliminator out and blows the Batboat to pieces. John McClane meets back up with Obi Wan Kenobi and Leia Organa. “We are getting our asses handed to us out here!” shouts McClane. “We have to regroup with what’s left of our team,” replies Master Kenobi. They are able to find Æon Flux, Goose, and Man-at-Arms, who is with Teela aboard a Land Speeder. “F#$* this is it?! You’ve got to be kidding me?!” yells John McClane. Just then, Black Adam along with Bizarro, Ms. Marvel and Parallax show up. Without hesitation, Obi Wan and Leia both leap into action and drive their lightsabers deep into Bizarro’s chest, killing the powerhouse. Æon Flux tries to uses her incredible fighting skills against Black Adam, but he simply punches right through her head. Goose, who at this point is completely freaking out is easily dispatched by Parallax. Rodimus Prime then arrives to aid his teammates. He takes aim and blows up the Land Speeder, killing Teela in the process. Man-at-Arms then enraged by his daughter’s death, charges towards Rodimus Prime, but Lazarus Long flies in, ejects from his Tie Bomber and stabs Man-at-Arms with his sword. Obi Wan Kenobi then attacks Lazarus Long. He tries to keep up with the Jedi Master, but Obi Wan’s lightsaber skills are too much for him to handle, and he eventually falls. Leia moves against Ms. Marvel, but she finds her self double-teamed by her and Parallax. She tries her best, but is blown away by their combined energy. John McClane looks over at his last teammate, Obi Wan Kenobi, and says “F#$* it!” as they both charge at the remaining Commando forces. Just then, Dave Bowman makes another appearance and makes McClane and Kenobi disappear, sparing them from what was sure to be a gruesome death.

POP SUPERSTAR HANNAH MONTANA AND PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA’S “BEST OF BOTH WORLDS” TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS ARE VICTORIOUS!