Logical Genocide vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips
“Why me!!!”
-Ryan Poteracki
“Why not!!!”
-Robert Hudson
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 4 Consolation Match located at the FFL Barbeque premises of the Beckerman household. They are as follows:
Logical Genocide: Robert Hudson with Mewtwo, a laser gun and laser sword.
The Horsemen of the Apokolips: Ryan Poteracki with Piplup, a laser sword, laser gun and Mithril Vest.
Let the battle begin. . .
Before either Pokemon can react, Robert Hudson expertly uses his laser gun and laser sword to kill Piplup. Ryan Poteracki, in turn, uses both his laser gun and laser sword to kill Mewtwo. The two frenemies face one another. Before Poteracki can fire his gun, Hudson disappears before his eyes. As always, Hudson is never there when you expect him to be. Poteracki attempts to locate Hudson and climbs to the top of the play structure which obnoxiously takes up nearly the entire Beckerman backyard. As Poteracki looks through the structure’s telescope, he is struck from behind by Hudson, who has, once again, re-appeared. Hudson then stabs Poteracki in the side in order to immobilize the young, strapping warrior. Hudson instantly pulls down his pants and spits on his hand. Poteracki attempts to react, but is unable to as his side’s stab wound screams and he feels the laser gun pointing at his head.
Poteracki: But I’m married!!!
Hudson: So am I!!!! You didn’t complain last night in the shower!!!
Poteracki’s pants are by his ankles. Hudson fills Poteracki with as much of his lethal weaponry as he can.
Hudson: Squeal like a pig! Squeal like a pig.
Poteracki thinks of more pleasant things-like his Transformer toys and refuses to squeal. Hudson then moves his face closer to Poteracki and whispers in his ear.
Hudson: I can’t quit you!!!!
Poteracki: Quit me!!! Quit me!!!
Poteracki screams in agony, or some would say ecstasy and clenches his buttocks. Hudson’s appendage is ripped off by the strength of Poteracki’s glutes. Poteracki, with a bloodied behind, manages to reach for his sword---the real one. Poteracki stands above a Bobbitish Hudson and lops off his head –the one which lies between shoulders.
Poteracki: Now you’ve lost both of your heads!
Poteracki wins the match. . . or does he???
The Horsemen of Apokolips: Ryan Poteracki survives.
Logical Genocide: All dead.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
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4 comments:
Hahaha! Don't ever try and f#@k me! It will cost you your life!!!!
Just re-read this thing again. It is far more disturbing then I originally realized. You are sick but brilliant Becks.
Red Lightsaber went to Jason Voorhees.
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