As we end what's been dubbed "Hal Jordan Week" here in the FFL, I'm Cotton McKnight and THIS is "Spoiler Sport" on ESPN 8- The Ocho!
We kick off with our only non-Hal Jordan related story, the streak continues! Defending FFL Champions "Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve" became the latest name to fall to the seemingly unstoppable force that is " 'Pop Superstar' Hannah Montana and President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos". Things looked tough for the Commandos, but in the end the trio of Earth Two Superman,Katniss Everdeen w/ green lantern ring, and White Lantern Deadman were just too much for the Kennelz to handle. Will see if Lady Luck will continue to smile on the Commandos, or if she'll finally run out as they head to Vegas to face the still win less "Tijuana Taco Benders".
Now, to Hal Jordan week. The cocky pilot made a big splash this week, propelling both "Logical Genocide" and "The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets" to victories in various color incarnations, but it was the version of Jordan that plays for "The Horsemen of Apokolips" that created the biggest stir.
The Parallax Hal Jordan's woes began when his was the final Horsemen to fall, causing his team to suffer a devastating, and shocking loss to "Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies". In her ninth and final death, Powerpuff Girl and veteran Murderfly Bubbles exploited the mental state of Jordan to cause him to lose focus and ultimately fall to Teddy Roosevelt's green lantern ring. After this, according to Hildy Johnson and the "Fantasy Press". Jordan was later arrested at a motel with some questionable company after an altercation took place between Jordan and his companions. No word yet on any possible action to be taken against Jordan or if he'll be playing in Vegas when his team faces "Logical Genocide".
Parallax Hal Jordan is now at his 9th death, which is a scary thought considering that your final death is when most players have the match of their lives. Within in the last two weeks alone this season, we've seen 9 deather Kang blow up the Play Off Planet, the Silver Surfer almost single handedly destroy the Tijuana Taco Benders, and of course the path of destruction and mind games that Bubbles used to eek out a win for her team. Who knows the chaos that an overpowered Hal Jordan with nothing left to lose will unleash.
That's it for this week, join us in week seven as we head to Vegas and see who's gonna win big and who's gonna want what happens in Vegas to stay in Vegas. For the Ocho- I'm Cotton McKnight. Thank you, and good night.
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5 comments:
Great stuff Cotton.
I've been informed that the charges against Hal Jordan-Parallax have been dropped (no doubt by a hefty payoff courtesy of Vandal Savage), though it is unknown as whether he'll start this week against Logical Genocide or not.
We can always count on Cotton to wrap it up tighter than Trojan! Keep it up!
Don't forget that Black Lantern Hal Jordan made a Millennium Falcon Construct as well.
I forgot that happened, that was pretty sweet. When researching I only took into account surviving Hal Jordans.
Good reporting as usual Cotton, you never fail to enterain.
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