Ladies and gentlemen, after six long weeks the issues between cable providers and our parent company have been resolved. We're once again on the air with "Spoiler Sport!" you look around the Fantasy Fantasy League. I'm Cotton McKnight! Let's see what we've missed!
If their match in the last week of the regular season was brutal, their play-off meeting took that word to new heights. "Pop Superstar" Hannah Montana and President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos are on their way to the Universe Bowl once again, barely overcoming the fury of George Washington's Slaves. The Slaves put up a heck of a fight, as only Katniss Everdeen walked out of the match alive. Both teams suffered major casualties, but perhaps the most devastating blow to not only the Slaves, but the entire FFL in general is the ninth and final death of FFL mainstay Yoda. Yoda took out an incredible 8 members of the Commandos in his final outing, including both of the Commandos versions of Superman. However, it was still not enough to stop the Commandos march toward the finals.
The Stan Lee Conference finals were just as brutal, as Beckerman's Backyardigan Beeyatches found themselves doing what no other team has been able to do on the Play Off Planet this year, defeat Team Sleeping Pussy. The victory did come with a fairly heavy price, as both Doomsday and Stormtrooper #15 made their final FFL appearances. Team Sleeping Pussy also lost their fair share of heavy hitters as The Silver Surfer, Kang, Khan Noonan Singh, and Deathbird also met their final fates in this contest.
Now that we know how the march to the Universe Bowl went, let's see what happened in the Consolation Rounds, here's our Consolation corrospondant- Pepper Brooks. Pepper!
"...."
Pepper? You there Pepper? We're live and waiting to hear on what happened in the comsolation rounds!
"...Who cares. Teams won, teams lost. It's consolation. Who gives a f**k? He's dead. Kang died. My great Uncle Kang is never coming back. That sucks dude. Totally sucks."
Uh, Pepper we need you..Pepper! Pepper put that gun down. Pepper! PEPPER N-
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Sorry about that folks, while we gather up the remains of Pepper's head we'd like to remind you to keep it locked to the Ocho for not only Universe Bowl 5, but also the third round of Consolation matches. For the Ocho! I'm Cotton McKnight. Thank you and good night!
Rest in peace, Pepper. Rest in peace.
Just as an FYI, Cotton & Pepper will be on Season Six's draft list. Pepper however will already be issued a death due to these events.
Hold off of issuing that death just yet, Commissioner.
I've just gotten off the phone with the hospital, and it turns out Pepper has survived his shooting. He's got a bit of a disfigurement, but is otherwise ok. I've been told that this brush with death has changed his outlook on life, and Pep is looking forward to returning to "Spoiler Sport" and seeing what the third round of Consolation holds for us.
The entire cast and crew of "Spoiler Sport" would like to thank everyone for their kind thoughts and well wishes during this difficult time.
Phew. Thank God. I was really not looking forward to all of the red tape and paperwork that was going to go with trying to bring in a character with only 9 deaths available.
Oh and I'm glad Pepper is ok too.
so close... so close... heh... hahahahahahahaha!
I think this may have been the best spoiler sport all year lol.
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