Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Horsemen vs. Kennelz Prologue



20 YEARS AGO…
A drought had ravaged the nation that summer.  Two young boys were working tirelessly one morning on a small farm in rural Livonia. 
“Yah Boys Thirsty? “ A sweet voice calls out.
Aunt May was a short elderly woman, a sharecropper by trade.  Now she may not legally own this land the boys worked on, but she did own the crops in the dirt.  She approaches the boys with a two tall glasses filled with ice cold tea.  Wiping their brows, the boys graciously accept the beverages.
“Thank you, ma’am” Says the more strapping of the two lads.
“Yes, thank you!” adds the wee one.  “Mighty fine tea, ma’am”
“Glad you like it boys.  Now hurry and clean up a bit.  Mr. Bruce is coming to collect his share.” She says with a grin.
Mr. Bruce came by once a week to collect the rent and get his share of the crops.  Mr. Bruce was well to do and even owned one of them fancy new automobiles the boys once read about in The Post.   But Mr. Bruce was not the reason these boys set off to make themselves look presentable.  And his fancy new car was not what put a spring in their step.
The black Model T rumbles down the dirt road and the boys pose themselves on the gate.  Mr. Bruce parks the car in front of the house and exits the vehicle.  He opens the back door and, with his hand extended, helps his two daughters, beautiful, prim and proper, step out of the vehicle.  They open their sun umbrellas and have full length dresses on.  The girls follow two steps behind father and quickly catch the eyes of Aunt May’s young workers.
“Boy oh boy, Matty…” Says the wee one.  “Miss Amy sure looks mighty fine today.”
“Almost as nice as Miss Teresa.” Says the strapping lad.
“Daddy, “ Miss Amy says to her father, “Teresa and I are going to go… say Hi to Aunt May’s horses.”
“Sure you are. “ Mr Bruce says smugly, raising an eye toward the boys on the gate.  “You just be careful around them ‘horses’.  I would hate it if something should happen to them.”  Mr. Bruce stares at the boys again before heading in toward the house to settle business with Aunt May.
The four young lovers run toward the barn.  The strapping lad barely has time to close the door before Miss Teresa jumps into his arms.  My! How they longed for each other’s embrace.  The wee one and Miss Amy scamper into the attic where a bed of hay has been laid out.  Fresh picked wildflowers lay in a bunch and Miss Amy scoops them up as she plops herself back into the hay.  The wee one lay down beside her and begins shows her the pictures he has drawn while she smells the flowers he has picked for her.  As he begins to read her poetry, the strapping lad shows Miss Teresa how many pullups he can do as she rubs his bulging biceps.
“If only I came from money like you, Miss Amy,” The wee one says with passion in his eyes, “then maybe your father would let me take you as my bride.”
“And if only I were a common woman, and you could be my husband” She replies.
As their lips are about to touch, the door to the barn flies open and Mr. Bruce stands in the doorway, the dust stirred up from the commotion fractures the setting sunlight behind him.
“I told you girls to be careful of them horses…”
“But Daddy! We love them” Miss Teresa says as she forces herself between her father and her lover.  She looks deep into her father’s eyes and continues,  “Jus’ like Mama loved you.” Her voice trails off toward the end and tears begin to well in her eyes;  Her father has no choice.
“I will let you two court my fair daughters under one condition” Mr. Bruce says.
“Anything!” says the strapping lad.
“Yes, name it” adds the wee one.
Mr. Bruce explains his conditions in exchange for his daughter’s hands in marriage.  “In twenty years’ time I will call on you two and you will command two separate armies of completely fictional characters to do battle in Space (The final frontier).  The loser will get only my daughter’s love, a worthy prize on its own.  But since I have no sons, the winner shall lay claim to my entire fortune and deeds to every inch of land I possess.  In addition, this man I will call my son.  The other will simply be forever known as ‘My Daughter’s bitch husband’.  Do you boys both agree to these terms?”
“Yes, “ says the strapping lad, shaking Mr. Bruce’s hand,  “The little bitch and I agree.”
Hate begins to brew in the eyes of Miss Amy’s lover and the wee one says to himself, “We will see who the bitch is.  We shall see…”

14 comments:

Ryan said...

Hahaha. Wee one... You Motherf******.

Awesome prologue. How and why this came to you, I will never know. But god bless you for it.

Real Gerbil said...

Still in Josh's bunghole!

TruBlue15 said...

glorious ...100% pure colombian awesome....but I think we both have the missa bruce's daughter's bitch thing down pat already

Josh the Commish said...

Fizz, you have issues... Awesome issues. And Real Gerbil, how else am I going to get the "real worms" out??

Artifact said...

I originally was going to try and do a Civil War slash Brother vs Brother thing but it just evolved into this. lol. Glad it brought you smiles.

Real Gerbil said...

Hey! I think I see Lemmiwinks down here in Josh's colon!!!

Ryan said...

Wait... You were going to do a Civil War era slash fiction between Matt and I?!?! I am truly surprised you didn't roll with that. Or did it take you to a dark place?

Real dead horse said...

Lol Real Gerbil. You're hilarious!! You should definitely do another 20 or 30 comments about this.

Real Gerbil said...

Thank you real dead horse. Anytime you need a vote of confidence yourself, I'll be right behind you. Literally. Behind you. In your ass I mean. I'm saying that because you're a dumb fucking horse. You may have an immense pizzle, but your brain is lacking.

Pablo said...

All of this anarchy was funny the first time.... When I did it.

Solobeck said...

I AGREE!!! REAL GERBIL AND REAL DEAD HORSE ARE FRAUDS!!!

- Real Pablo

p.s.: F@CK YOU BOTH!!!

Josh the Commish said...

I'm with you Real Pablo. At least everyone knew who was behind it, back when you used to start shit. They weren't just some bitch hiding behind anonymity. I wish I knew why people in the league wish to talk so much shit.

Herm Edwards said...

Just put your name on it. That's all I'm sayin. Be a man, or a woman. PUT YOUR NAME ON IT!

Josh the Commish said...

Ha. A Herm Edwards reference... Classic.