Shit-Kickers vs Highness pt 3

The Shebamala Shit-Kickers are: Real Man, Razor, Superior Spider-Man, Blackfire, Father of Mortis, Son of Mortis, Daughter of Mortis, Zombie Parasite, Predi-Alien with red lantern ring, Firestorm,  Female Furies: Granny Goodness; Gilotina; Lashina (with Atlas axe); Stompa (with heat axe); Bernadeth (with Halbeard) and Mad Harriett, Predator #13 with yellow lantern ring, Predator #14 with green lightsaber, Wizard #3, Ric Flair with blue lightsaber, Tully Blanchard with Sith lavarouk, Jim "the Anvil" Niedhart, Triple H with red lightsaber, The Rock with blue lightsaber, and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin with a blue lightsaber and jetpack.

 

The Royal Highness are: Yoda, Phantom Stranger, Doomslayer, Superboy Doomsday, Metron, Professor X, The Kraken, a Sandworm, Col. Sanders, and NFG Mike w/green lightsaber

 

"RRRROOOOAAAARRRR" screams Superboy Doomsday, as he comes upon more fire from Tully Blanchard. The battle has raged across the city aspect of the Playoff Planet. 

 

"I need some more back-up." screams the Horseman. He looks around the cityscape, amazed at the destruction that has unfolded before his eyes. He sees Jim Neidhart literally torn in half. Predator #14 has found itself prey for the monster, impaled by it's own lightsaber. Blackfire has been extinguished, a victim of the beast's tactile telekinesis when the beast blew her through a building and the shattered glass cut her to ribbons.

 

Suddenly, there's another explosion of glass shattering as "Stone Cold" Steve Austin bursts through a plate glass window with his jetpack. He buzzes about the monster getting in a few shots with his lightsaber, getting a few good shots in. A mighty roar, and another kinetic blast hurtles Austin behind an overturned taxicab where Blanchard has taken cover. 

 

"You sure picked a hella of last rodeo, Tully" says Austin "It's your party, just tell ole Stone Cold what ass to whip"

 

"I-I have no idea what to do here. I'm a little out of my depth" says Tully. Suddenly there's a shimmer behind them

 

"Heh. Look at you two. Cowering. You'd never see ANY of MY former clients hiding" 

"Well, I'll be a son of a bitch. It's the Grand Wizard" says Austin "How the hell are ya, Wiz?"

"I'm actually just a common wizard, I have chosen a form you'd be apt to recognize and trust" says the common Wizard who just looks like the classic wrestling manager "Here, take these and drink them."

"What are they? asks Blanchard as the Predi-Alien and Predator 13 try a tandem attack with the lantern rings, which cause the beast to stumble but ultimately ends with their deaths. 

"They're 'true form' potions." They shall convert you to your truest forms. I've already given The Rock and Triple H their potions, but I'm also here to tell Mr Austin that he's needed elsewhere. Sorry Tully, you're on your own."

"But- but..." begins Blanchard but before he can finish Austin and The Grand Wizard are gone. "F**k it. No one lives forever" and Blanchard downs his potion. He lets out a mighty scream which causes Superboy Doomsday to turn in his direction as he pops the head off of Daughter of Mortis. The monster rushes over to where it heard the noise and easily tosses the cab. Finding nothing, the monster turns to find another victim. Then it hears the sound of a horse riding up.

"BEHOLD YOUR DOOM MONSTER" booms the voice of Tully Blanchard "BEHOLD THE HORSEMAN....OF DEATH!" suddenly Tully Blanchard appears, but he is now as large as his monstrous opponent, clad in a black robe with a massive scythe. The two begin a fierce battle, with Superboy Doomsday giving all it's got to the avatar of death. Blanchard doesn't budge, and actually laughs.

"FOOL. I AM THE MASTER OF DEATH, NOT YOU. BEHOLD!!" he waves his scythe in a massive arc, and suddenly all of the fallen Shit-Kickers begin to rise. However, Doomboy doesn't not shrink in fear. He rushes toward the zombie like creatures and begins to tear them apart, but their sheer numbers begin to overwhelm him.

 

"HOLD HIM STILL! ALLOW DEATH TO CLAIM THIS BEAST!!"  the risen warriors obey their master.  Blanchard raises his weapon and brings it crashing down into the beast's chest, piercing it's bony skin like a hot knife through butter.  It let's out a mighty scream and falls, but thrashes and fights death with all it's might. Blanchard continues to press on against the beasts resistance, his screams matching his opponents. He suddenly feels the power of the potion leaving his body. Knowing if he lets up, he's assured to die he presses on and says to himself "If I go, I'm taking you with me you son of a bitch" The potion wears off just as Doomboy is about to succumb. However, as it dies all the resurrected Shit-Kickers fade with Tully's power. The beast let's out one final, albeit weak kinetic blast. Tully Blanchard is blasted backwards and is impaled on a streetlight.

 

"Death...comes...for...all"   he says as both he and his rival die.

Elsewhere, over in the water area, the Rock takes a quick shot of his potion and dives into the water. "Come on, let's get Kracken." He says. "Come get the Rock, and the millions"

 

Suddenly, the water fills up with literally millions of people in Rock t-shirts who respond "AND MILLIONS" This alerts the Kraken who begins to quickly yank various people underwater, drowning them as quickly as it can. 

 

"Rock sees ya, now get ready to face THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!!!"  The millions of Rock fans disappear, and the Kracken  is instantly electrocuted as the Rock turns into a being of pure electrictiy. As the Kracken sinks, the Rock gets ready to blast off, when his potion wears off. "AAARRGGHH. I TORE MY ABDOMINAL MUSCLE!" screams the Rock. He fights valiantly to swim to the shore, but it's no use. The Rock's pain overcomes him and he sinks to the depths along with the corpse of the Kracken.

 

The battle in the desert rages. Yoda is barely holding his own against Father of Mortis. Suddenly, Son of Mortis is about to help tilt the odds against the green Jedi, when Metron appears. With a few presses of various buttons on his chair he emits a blast which throws the son backwards into the sand.  He points another finger and instantly, the sand is turned to glass, trapping the young man.

 

"Fascinating. I had wondered   what would happen when the power of a red ring is combined with that of the Firestorm matrix. Thanks to the misguided attack of two overemotional children, now I know. A matrix that only works in extreme fits of rage." 

"Girls, that bad boy has taken toys away from us. Fetch them for your Granny" hisses Granny Goodness. Before Metron can react, the Female Furies are upon him, and know him out of his chair. 

"Please. No. I cannot fight without my chair." whimpers Metron, as he scrambles through the sand. Stompa jumps in the air, and just before she lands on the New Gods head, he calls upon his Motherbox and he and his chair boomtube out of the way. He reappears right above the gathered foes, as Yoda and Father of Mortis continue to battle.

 

"Here. Allow me to give you Furies a toy of my own" says Metron and with a mighty BOOM he drops the Doomslayer upon the Furies. The already raucous battle swells up to another mighty, boisterous level.

"Now, this should be interesting." says Metron. "What happens when you make this much noise in the vicinity of a Sandworm" without warning, the monsterous Sandworm bursts through the desert sands and consumes all  it wake.  As it's about to return to the dunes, there's a faint shimmer catching Metron's eye.

"What is this?" he asks himself as The Grand Wizard and "Stone Cold" appear in the dunes. "Sandworms, huh?" says Austin as he shotguns his potion "Let's see if you can handle a TEXAS RATTLESNAKE. The Sandworm  goes to eat Austin, but he dives out of the way. Wizard #3 isn't so lucky as he's torn to shreds down the razorsharp teeth in the Sandworm. Austin then makes his presence known. He's now a rattle snake that is the exact same size as the Sandworm.

"Everything'ssssss bigger in Texasssssssss" hisses the monsterous Austin. He quickly sinks his fangs into the neck of the Sandworm and injects it full of his own special venom. Ice, cold, Steveweisers. The Sandworm writhes as this icy, cold brew fills it's veins-poisoning the creature and killing it.

"You tamper with magics you should not, mortal" booms the voice of The Phantom Stranger "Return to thy true form" Austin is then returned to his normal form.

"You dumb son of a bitch" seethes Austin "Do you know who in the hell I am, Stranger?"

"You are the one called "Stone Cold" I am aware of your legend, just as I know you're plan shall not work. I shall not accept your offer of beverage and toast which lowers my guard so I am prone to your 'Stone Cold" stunner. I know all, I see all. I am also a HUGE fan."

"Well, firend-o. Ya got me." says Austin as he pulls out a can and cracks it open. "Still, if I didn't try that ole chestnut it'd eat at me like a..like a.... what's those things that feed off another living thing?"

"A parasite?" answers the Stranger

"Exactly" says Austin who throws the container at the Stranger's feet. It explodes in a puff of purple smoke, and the zombie Parasite appears. It latches onto the Phantom Strager and begins to drain his powers.

"Ain't you never see me fight the Undertaker?" asks Austin "I know my way around a phenom" The Stranger manages to snap the Parasite's neck, but finds his mighty mystic powers depleated. Austin flips him the double bird and then delivers a mighty stunner, snapping the Stranger's neck.

 

"You...you've done me a favor...Austin. You've broken...my eternal curse"

 

"Eternal curse?" asks Austin

 

"Yes. I, Judas Iscariot was cursed to an eterinity of everlasting life for my betrayal of Jesus. You..have freed me. Yet I fear..."

"F**k fear, drink beer. " says Austin as he gathers up his jetpack, oblivious to a tiny hole in the side of the pack that is leaking fuel. He flips the ignition and goes to blast off, when the jetpack explodes, killing Austin.

"Never mess with a God's will smiles Metron, as he puts away the screwdriver used to puncture the jetpack.