George Washington's Logic is Han Solo: Rogue Jedi and Sauron the Deceiver.
FIEND is Black Lantern Darth Vader and Poseidon.
...Krisatu the Mighty Watcher in charge of this year's All Star Game transports himself to the tropical off season home of his fellow Watcher The Neon Master Pogo....
Pogo is sitting on a reclined chair with a purplish drink in his hand brimming with those stupid toothpick umbrellas when Kristu approaches...
“Pogo, you're up. I need you to handle one of the mini All Star Matches for this year”. The Neon Master puts down his drink and says: “SUP KRISATU!! How's it hangin Bro-Hammer?? Down between dem ankles?? What can I do for ya”? “I just told you what you can do for me. I need you to pick up this one little match”. Says Krisatu. Pogo replies: “Nah, I'm tight on that son. It's the off-season, plus Ol' Joshatu the Prig, or whatever he calls himself said that I can just stay on this island until next season, and that I don't have to do anything. So I'm just following orders capt. Poopy-pants”
Krisatu shakes his head warily and says: “No... Actually Pogo, Joshatu marooned you on this island planet, because he didn't want to deal with you and so we could all have a break from you during the off-season. But now I need you to do this one little match, I can even have the combatants transported here if you prefer”. Pogo retorts brilliantly: “Haaaaaaa, what?? Oh, yeah a match or something, right?? You kind of lost me when you said marooned. It just reminded me of that super-gay poster of Adam Levine that Fizzatu has in his office. Have you seen that s**t”? Krisatu struggles to hold back a smirk, but can't. “Ha, yeah; what a Poofter.... But anyway just watch the match and then go back to your winter long war on your liver, see ya after your exile”. Says Krisatu right before he teleports away....
“OH DAMN”!! I forgot how much fun it is to watch mega-powered, trans-genre(heh) warriors do battle with each other, especially while chillin on a beautiful beach, in the middle of.... that's right, I have no idea where I'm at. But, I do know that that crazy version of Han Solo and the double-black Vader are having one wicked lightsaber dual, and that Sauron and Poseidon are rippin apart my gnarly view and just terrorizing the landscape with some godlike battling. Sauron swings his mace of over-compensation (if you know what I mean) and blasts Poseidon into the water; which probably wasn't the smartest thing, cuz that is gonna have to boost his power or something (maybe not). While Han clips off Vader's hand with his lightsaber just to watch it grow back....... OH CRAP!!... I dropped my daquiri. Let me try to scoop up some of the icey part here that didn't get sand in it and throw this in my mouth here cuz this thing is way to good to waste, and well oops, Krisatu is gonna be pissed but it looks like I missed something cuz Solo no longer has a head. But now it looks like Sauron is about to show Ol' B.L. Vader the true meaning of evil. I know that black lanters are only supposed to be able to be killed by combined lantern powers; but it looks like Sauron just sucked the evil right out of Vader and left his dead body there to rot. BUT HERE COMES POSEIDON, and he looks pissed. He's makin earthquakes as he runs and then he just kicked Sauron in the gut with what seems to be the power of all the world's horses (ya gotta luv it when dem Greek gods use their secondary powers)!! Sauron is down yo!! And that trident to the throat and then right through the hand seems to have killed the Mad Man from Mordor and seperated the ring from his body, so it looks like my job is done here. I'm sure there is much conjecture to be had here; but I'm late for a date with that-thaar lounge chair and my next daquiri ain't gonna make itself; so I'll see y'all next season when I'll put ya stitches, bi&^hes!! PEACE!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
FIEND IS VICTORIOUS!!
Only Poseidon survives.
Great match bro-ski, especially like the mace of overcompensation! Also, I must find this island and steal Pogo's stash!
Ha!! You won't have to steal it, Pogo is a generous sharer. Just pop in anytime!!
Post a Comment