Unlucky 13: The Traveling Sisterhood of Midgets vs. Layanderlett's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family

"The True Midgets" are: Wasp, Widdle Wade (w/ magnoguard staff), Arsenal, G' Kd, Ras Al Ghul, Nog, Bultar Swan, Wheelie, Mouse Voltron, Black Lantern Ryan Poteracki, Sgt. "Scout" Masterson, Teek.

"Laya's Team" is: Ant Man, Nocturne, Armor, (Kingdom Come) Hawkman, (Kingdom Come) Alan Scott, Monarch, Warmaster Tsavong Lah, Feral, Nightbird, Decepticon #4, The Lorax, Bendonner, and Reepicheep (The swashbuckling mouse from the Narnia movies).

  The Midgets and The Super Orange Kitties and Cats were sharing a few uncanny coincidences, as though an unseen force was guiding them for the sake of the plot. Both squads were searching a long-abandoned Gobot machine shop for resources. Tailored to their cyborg needs, the facility was an eerie combination of hospital and garage, with urban decay amplifying the disturbing nature. In time, the teams found their way to a pair of enormous security doors on opposite ends of the basement, separated by the room between them. Despite having lightsabers, Lantern rings, and a giant Scotsman, neither team could break through. If there was one thing the Guardian Gobots knew, it was how to guard things. Both groups came to the same conclusion: the smallest member of their squad would have to navigate the narrow ventilation ducts and find a way to open the doors from inside. Ant Man set off first, with Wasp coming from the other side a short time after. As they neared their destination, they heard each other's tiny footsteps echo through the metal tunnels. "Who's there?" Ant Man called nervously.  "I'm warning you, I'm very big for my size!"

   "...Hank, we both know that's not true."

   "Janet! Thank god, I was worried you were another hallucination. You're not, right?"

   "If only. Where are you? I can hardly see in here, for all I know I'm walking in circles."

   "Just follow my voice, I think I finally see an exit!" Ant Man made his way down the duct and found a vent to slip through. He searched the room and quickly found a power switch, and generators in the room sputtered back to life after years of disuse. The room lit up, and at its center an operating table covered in mechanical apparatuses rose from the ground. Unfortunately, as the lights started up, so did the fans. A powerful current gusted through the ducts, catching Wasp by the wings and sucking her in to the heavy-duty exhaust fan. "Hello? Right this way. You almost here Janet?" Ant Man shouted into the vent, unaware of his victory. "Huh... guess she really was a hallucination after all." He turned his attention back to the room and noticed that either wall without a reinforced door was covered in control panels and compartments of some kind, which he operated and unlocked easily. The contents fascinated him: Half-assembled Gobots held in stasis, incomplete masses of flesh and machinery. If there was one thing the Guardian Gobots knew, it was how to create twisted abominations out of people and household appliances. Pym also dabbled in creating horrible robots from time to time, and the urge overwhelmed him. He pulled a specimen to the operating table and began his experiment.

   The teams outside the doors grew impatient as time passed. Just when it seemed they would have to abandon their posts, the tremendous barricades began sliding open in layers of doors. As the last pair of doors opened, Ant Man's new creation was revealed. Bits and pieces of Gobot limbs and torsos were patched together to create a giant cyborg ant, and Ant Man sat atop it like a horse. "Isn't it amazing?" he called to his team. "I haven't settled on a name. I'm thinking 'Pym-Mobile'." He flipped a switch on the back of the Ant-Bot's head and it powered up. Immediately, the creature began screeching in horror at its own existence and thrashing violently. "Who could have seen this coming?" Ant Man cried. "I'm usually so good at these things!" It bucked Ant Man from its back and sent him crashing into the opposing crowd, where he was shot in the head by Arsenal. The ant, however, was still rampaging against life itself and trampled Nog, Teek, and Sgt. Masterson. The conflict erupted and both teams converged to fight in the now open Gobot maternity ward. Black Lantern Ryan shot a chainsaw from his ring and cut down The Lorax, and Alan Scott stepped forward to challenge the Black Lantern. Ryan tried to cut through the aging Lantern's armor, but his experience made him far too powerful and he bashed Ryan's undead head in with a green light morning star. Across the room, the rampaging ant monster had Widdle Wade in its arm-mandible's grip and was beginning to crush his rib cage. W.W. defiantly began to ram his Electrostaff into the ant's forehead until it cracked his exoskeleton, jamming it in a fleshy bit. Knowing he would die from his injury, Wade stopped the beast for good with a deadly electrical burst from his staff, giving himself an honorable death in the process.

   Armor was having a considerably less honorable death as Gk'd shattered her shield and sternum, in that order, with a projected drill. Before he could celebrate his own validity as a corpsman, he was skewered by Hawkman's spear. He flung the Lantern off and turned to Ra's al Ghul, sensing his power. As their battle raged, a smaller battle raged at their feet. The pilots of Mouse Voltron chased Reepicheep across the room, enjoying the cat-like predatory sensation for a change. Once they tired of their game, they effortlessly finished the Narnian with a homing missile before stopping by Wheelie. The Autobot was firing his slingshot at Bendonner in the best biblical homage he could manage; however, Bendonner was a mighty Scotsman, and he shrugged off the shots before crushing Wheelie and Mouse Voltron with a powerful stomp. Feral and Tsavong Lah teamed up against Butlar Swan, who was having trouble multitasking the skilled foes. In desperation, she rammed her lightsaber through Feral, leaving herself open to a decapitation from Tsavong Lah. The battle between Ra's and Hawkman's drew to an end as the immortal's patient focus gave him the upper hand in the commotion. He flung the blood from his blade and saw that his forces had been thinned considerably. He joined Arsenal for a final stand and drew the attention of the enemy. Arsenal used the diversion to quickly fling adhesive explosives to the backs of Decepticon #4 and Monarch before detonating them remotely. Forgetting the golden rule that cool guys don't look back at explosions, Arsenal was distracted long enough for Nightbird to smack him into the air with her nunchaku, breaking his spine in half. Beyond hope, Ra's turned to face his fate, knowing it would never be final. The Demon's Head always grows back.