Royal Rumble Finale!!

As the Blob stands defiant and alone in the ring, #31, Dr. Evil begins waddling down the aisle. “It looks like I will have to clone another sole mate” Dr. Evil says to himself as he comes to the realization that his partner Mini Me has already been eliminated. Dr. Evil, as soon as he enters the ring starts awkwardly drop kicking The Blob, each one resulting in Dr. Evil himself falling to the ground. The maniacal brother of Austin Powers gets dizzier and dizzier each time he gets up, until The Blob picks him up like a rag doll and tosses him out of the ring just as #32 Watchdog #3 is climbing in. Watchdog #3 begins fiercely attacking The Blob; but his attacks work about as well on the mutant as they usually do against Capt. America. Watchdog #3 simply becomes the next person tossed out of the ring with ease by the even nastier Age of Apocalypse version of Fred Dukes. But as Watchdog #3 accomplishes nothing, the next guy coming down is about half a foot taller than the blob and twice as cut. Death Hammer, the Immellized clone of Death Adder and Sledgehammer, begins by taking his Ax-handled, magically powered .44 Magnum and fires three rounds into the chest of The Blob (if I didn’t know that it was impossible I would have sworn that I saw him flinch). With this taking place, and her arms getting tired, Dora see this as an opportunity to swing herself back in the ring and try and help out Death Hammer against a dude who she still sees as basically unbeatable. The Blob begins belly laughing hysterically when he sees that the delicious looking little Dora is still alive, when Triceraton #4 begins walking down the aisle as well. As the Triceraton is entering the ring, The Blob is still condescendingly criticizing Dora, like only a morbidly obese adult in a leotard can do. The Triceraton and Death Hammer can’t help but agree with The Blob when he says “What the hell kind of sh**&ty general manager sends a little kid into a royal rumble”?!!? But Dora’s demeanor shows the rest of the combatants that she means business, when she verbally takes control and forms a quick alliance against The Blob whom they all know they can’t take alone. Dora somersaults into the middle of Death Hammer and The Triceraton and says: “Hey Hammer head, you hit em high and dino-dude you hit him low…. NOW”!! The two of them rush in following the explorer’s orders while Dora races in ahead of both of them slides between The Blob’s legs and almost falls out of the ring again accept for grabbing on to the bottom rope. This is where her plan comes in. As soon as The Blob begins to fight back against the other two, he picks up his left foot, which Dora then pulls the ring ropes underneath to trip him up. As The Blob falls to the mat, he punches both Death Hammer and The Triceraton, knocking the former to the mat and the latter out of the ring. With all the excitement taking place, the combatants do not even realize that #35 Uncle Buck is now standing on the other side of the ring with a “What the Eff am I doing here” look on his face, while #36 C.M. Punk is climbing into the ring after a run down the aisle. Far from defeated yet, The Blob has managed to get back up on his feet, but his ankle is still caught in the rope, thanks to Dora. C.M. Punk takes note that The Blob is obviously the biggest threat in the ring and he begins to try and rally the rest of the guys behind him so after The Blob’s eliminated he can win this thing for himself; but after what Death Hammer was a part of and Uncle Buck witnessed, they were not anxious to follow anybody’s lead except for Dora’s. “COME ON!! YOU’RE ALL gonna follow some kid instead of me?!!? Look at her, she looks like she smoked a pack of cigarettes and drank a pint of dark rum before the match even started”. Dora shrugs her shoulders like she is soooo whateavs but it is Uncle Buck who takes offense to the comments. The former baby-sitter rushes at Punk who exclaims that: “IT’S CLOBBERIN TIME”, as he grabs Uncle Buck by the neck and knees him in the mid-section. He then goes to fling the heavyset Canadian out of the ring but he is inadvertently saved by N0-Ship Futar #2 who has just entered the ring. The hairy, muscular Tleilaxlu creation is only in the ring for about a second after the flailing body of Uncle Buck hits him and sends him right back over the top rope. Uncle Buck gets back to his feet while the whole ring full of people put some space between each other to measure each other up. The Blob still has his foot caught in the bottom rope; but is prepared for anything while Death Hammer and Punk move from one corner to the other. Dora is hanging back behind Uncle Buck who is regaining his composure and getting back on his feet, when wait………
What’s this? …………

The crowd begins to go silent, like the calm before the storm…. And then, they erupt……..

IT’S HOLLYWOOD HOGAN!!!! The Hulkster comes running down the aisle and the crowd goes nuts!! Hollywood instantly goes for The Blob but even against Hogan, The Blob doesn’t even flinch against his attacks. And he knocks the former champion to the ground with ease. #39 Abobo from Double Dragon has now entered the ring and it is getting pretty packed with some of the heavyweights trouncing around. It is a mess of a melee as the 7 wrasslers go at it. They are all somewhat focused on The Blob; but really, there is no rhyme or reason to the fighting, it is just taking place everywhere. The final combatant Roper, coincidentally also from Double Dragon has now entered the ring with his nun chucks in hand. Roper instantly hits CM Punk in the hands with a nun chuck cheap shot knocking his legion flight ring off and more so pissing off the former World Heavyweight Champion. Punk then clotheslines Roper over the top as quick as you can say “Zero Tolerance”. Punk then goes back to the last guy who ticked him off and grabs Uncle Buck by his collared shirt and begins giving him a nice pounding. Punk then picks up Buck as if to bodyslam him but then attempts to use him as a buffer weapon to knock out the Blob. It doesn’t work against the mutant; but Buck is lying on the ground attempting to shake it off when he realizes that Punk must have just been done with him once and for all. CM Punk is standing over Uncle Buck when he ignites his blue lightsaber and cocks it in a downward position as if to stab Buck in the chest, when Dora comes out of nowhere using Death Hammer’s knee as a leap board and knocks the lightsaber out of Punk’s hands and out of the ring. Punk attempts to punch her but she dodges the attack, backflips over the fallen Buck, looks at him and says: “Now we’re even”. She then disappears back into the crowd of larger opponents. This act was mostly in vain though as Abobo a short time later choke slammed Uncle Buck out of the ring a short time after he gained his composure. CM Punk begins wrasslin with the much larger Death Hammer, who is making snide 80’s style comic jokes in Old English, when the pro-wrestler is able to knock his magic .44 Magnum axe out of the ring. While the two of them are going at it, Dora sees it as opportunity to possibly use their momentum against them and eliminate CM Punk especially, but it doesn’t work out. Punk is quicker than she gave him credit for and he turns and grabs her out of mid-air. The jolt is so violent that it knocks her little woven cross necklace that so many young Mexican girls get on the first communion off of her and onto the mat before Punk throws her out of the ring for good. Punk then turns to Death Hammer and sends him out with a clothesline. Hogan then rushes over to CM Punk and offers him his hand in friendship. He is pointing over at The Blob as if to say that they need to work together to take him out but as they are shaking hands, The Blob launches Abobo at the duo and it sends Punk over the top rope. Punk is holding on but also cursing out Hogan, accusing him of treachery. Hogan is violently shaking his head no as if to tell him it was an accident; but Punk isn’t buying it. Hogan begins reaching over the top rope to give him his hand to bring him in and save him; but Punk won’t let go due to his distrust of Hollywood. CM Punk finally dramatically lets go with one hand and begins reaching for Hogan when The Blob breaks free from the bottom rope and rushes over to clothesline Hogan, causing him to slip and lose his grip on CM Punk’s hand, sending Punk into the lava. Hogan then dodges the attacks of The Blob and back tracks into the corner with Abobo whom he shakes hands with as if to make a final pact against The Blob, as it is now only the three of them who remain in the ring. Hogan and Abobo rush The Blob together but Hogan is knocked to the ground; while Abobo is picked up over the head of The Blob as the mutant shows off his true strength. Abobo is thrown from the ring….

And then there were two.

Hogan rushes at The Blob and is quickly knocked to the ground. He gets back up three more times but it is always the same result. Hollywood can barely stand back up after the abuse he has taken, and The Blob isn’t even budging. The Blob knocks Hollywood to the ground once more, but his time Hogan’s hand lands on a tiny foreign object. He sees the little handmade cross necklace of Dora and begins to remember that it wasn’t always like this….

He wasn’t always a bad guy…….

He used to believe in a power higher than himself…..

Higher than the glitz and glamour of Hollywood…..

The training….. The prayers….. The vitamins…. All The Hulkamaniacs around the world….

The Hulkster clutches the cross and then looks to the crowd for approval. The crowd starts to get up on their feet, when Hogan rips his black shirt off of his glistening muscular body, and pulls his bandana off as well. Hogan walks over to The Blob and gets punched, but this time he doesn’t fall…. The Blob punches him again, and then a third time; but now it is The Hulkster that is not budging. Hogan picks up his right hand and starts waving his finger “No” at The Blob who is flabbergasted at Hogan’s strength.

…Now it is Hogan’s turn….

Hulk hits the Blob in the face, and for the first time The Blob flinches, he hits a second time, a third, a fourth…. And The Blob is noticeably weakened. The Blob strikes back, but Hogan blocks it with his forearm and then hits him back again. Hogan goes in to throw The Blob over the ropes but he can’t quite lift The Blob, who knocks Hogan to the ground. But Hogan pops back up and resumes hitting The Blob. Blob is stunned as Hogan backs off a bit to regain his strength and composure and to raise his hands in the air as if to get power from the crowd who gives it back to him in full force as they erupt in screams of praise and applause. Hogan goes in for the kill again and puts himself in position to attempt a bodyslam. Hogan grabs The Blob and lifts him up to the top rope, and……..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKJDAVvs_JA&feature=player_detailpage