2014 Play-Offs Round 1: Midgets vs. Slaves

The Midgets are: Emperor Joker, Mr. Mxyzptlk, The Eradicator, Zombie Supergirl, Black Lantern Sinestro w/ White Lantern Ring, Phoenix Force Entity, Blue Beetle (Ted Kord in Cierva W.9), Deadpool (in a Rockwell X-30), The Fantastic Four (Franklin Richards, Black Lantern Invisible Woman, Black Lantern Human Torch, Zombie Thing in The Fantasticar), Wonder Man, He-Man, Black Lantern Omega Supreme, Bowser (w/ Orange Lantern Ring), Mangy Mouse (w/ Indigo Lantern Ring), Mighty Mousette (w/ Star Sapphire ring), Darth Talon (w/ Red Lantern Ring), Meriadoc Brandybuck (w/ Blue Lantern Ring), Magneto (Missing left hand, w/ an Adaridi AD 3), Toad (on a scooter), Black Lantern Blip, Squirtle,  Black Lantern Aunt May, Ewok Child #1A, Ewok Child #2A, Smurf #1.

The Slaves are: Amazo, Fernus, Green Arrow (Connor Hawk), Speedy (Mia Deardon), Batgirl (Cassandra Cain, w/ Black Lightsaber), Loki, Wolverine, Ki Adi Mundi (w/ blue lightsaber), Shintor Beerus, Movie Bumblebee, Prowlimus Prime (w/ The Touch a.k.a. Autobot Matrix of Leadership), Scorpion (w/ Heat Axe and Red Lightsaber), Sgt. Marcus Fenix, Dominic Santiago, Augustus "Cole Train" Cole, Damon Baird, Jill Valentine (w/ Red Lightsaber), The Hydra, Captain James T. Kirk (w/ Green Lightsaber), Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Captain Crunch (w/ Trident), John Rambo, Simon Phoenix (w/ M202A1 FLASH Rocket Launcher), Wicked Witch of the West (w/ Devil Lance), Zack Morris (w/ Laser Sword), A.C. Slater (w/ Laser Gun, Iron Man Suit), Samuel "Screech" Powers (w/ Mithril Vest), Jessie Spano, Lisa Turtle (w/ Pokeball), Kelly Kapowski (w Star Wand), Peter Griffin (w/ Iron Man's Armor), Stewie Griffin (w/ Green Lantern Ring), Brian the Dog, Lois Griffin (w/ throwing knives), Meg Griffin, Chris Griffin, Bebop, Rocksteady, Gargamel, Azrael the Cat, The Grinch, Max the Dog, Gonzo the Great, Josh Houslander: Samurai Warrior, Vampire Al Dogg, Smurf #3, Head Coach: George Washington (w/ Green Lightsaber), and an Imperial Shuttle.

As the Slaves and the Midgets gathered on The Playoff Planet, Emperor Joker and Mr. Mxyzptlk watched from just beyond the edge of reality. The rest of the competitors stood like statues scattered across the planet's many biomes. Time in the third dimension didn't pass from their vantage point, so the passed the time with the fifth dimensional equivalent of a pissing contest. "Alright, clown, here's an easy one for you: What's big and blue and crawls all over?" Joker rolled his eyes, saying "A riddle? Do I look like that poindexter Nigma to you?" In the city, time began to flow normally as The Fantasticar and Ted Kord's Cierva W.9 were coming in for a landing near their allies and enemies below. Kord felt that something wasn't right, a sort of tingle in his spine. His suspicion was confirmed when the tingle turned to pain and his endoskeleton began its transformation to an exoskeleton. In moments the title of Blue Beetle became literal, and the giant bug flew from the cockpit as the helicopter spun in to a nearby building. Green Arrow and Speedy tried shooting down the insect, but their arows couldn't pierce his carapace and he landed hard on Bebop and Rocksteady. "Jeez, that's new," Zombie Ben Grimm remarked. "You have anything to do with that kid?" Franklin Richards watched excitedly as the Beetle scurried around the street. "I don't think so, but that thing is so cool! We should go help it!" Grimm brought down the Flying Bathtub and the team hopped out to be immediately engaged by the nearby Slaves. Invisible Woman vanished as George Washington, Ki-Adi-Mundi, and Josh Houslander attacked. Undeath and several defeats hadn't been kind to Thing and Human Torch; Grimm's rocky form was mossy and cracked, and Johnny was more of a shambling mass of embers than a torch. As they held off Josh and Washington a.k.a Joshington's attacks, Ki-Adi-Mundi stood still with closed eyes. With a deep breath he reached out his senses and spun around with his lightsaber. A spurt of blood appeared first, followed by Susan Storm's bisected corpse as her sneak attack failed. To the side, The Midgets fought alongside the new and improved Ted Kord while The Slaves fought against it. Speedy was caught in its mandibles, spurting HIV blood all over the place, as the Beetle butted heads with Prowlimus Prime and Bumblebee. Gargamel caught up with Smurf #1 and stomped him flat before Azrael began licking him off the pavement, but Meriadoc was quick to avenge his brother-in-tiny-arms as he stabbed through Gargamel from behind. Azrael jumped on Merry's back, but was unable to bite with a mouth full of blue goo. Merry peeled the cat's claws out and flipped him over, snapping his neck against the ground. His victory was short-lived as Jill Valentine took a shot from behind and blew off his head. Toad, on a scooter, had been riding around like the useless tool Toads tend to be when Smurf #3 a.k.a. Chokey Smurf came up from behind and strangled him Green Arrow was picking off the enemy commons when he heard a whirring noise from above. He looked up just in time to see Magneto gliding down from atop the wings of an Adaridi AD 3, flying off the back just as the plane crashed down on Hawke. He proceeded to lift the enemy Transformers, mangling them into a pair of fancy metal porches which he promptly dropped on the Wicked Witch and Al Dogg. With his teammates out of the line of fire, Simon Phoenix fired a rocket at the Beetle and finally blew through its shell, covering the city in bug juice. "Red light!" shouted Joker from beyond reality as time stopped again. "Looks like the mean man broke your toy, Mixy. Time for a new one. Green light!" When time was set back in to motion, George Washington was replaced with a giant pair of chattering wooden teeth."What the hell is happening?" Josh wondered aloud. "Washington didn't even HAVE wooden tee-" Distracted by historical inaccuracy, Josh didn't see Thing's fist come crashing in to him and his chest cavity was caved in. Suddenly, the fourth Batgirl made her appearance as she dropped down on Magneto from a nearby rooftop, cutting his throat before he knew what hit him. Simon Phoenix, meanwhile, had reloaded his rocket launcher and taken a shot at Ben Grimm, reducing him to rubble. Black Lantern Aunt May, Black Lantern Human Torch, and Franklin Richards were all that remained of the Midgets' city presence. Aunt May leapt on to Jill Valentine and began eating her face while Johnny Storm chased after Cassandra Cain. Storm has nearly caught her when she bashed the cap off a fire hydrant, soaking away what remained of the Torch's dwindling flame. From his hiding place in the back seat of the Fantasticar, Franklin Richards screamed in terror "Uncle Johnny, NO! Not again! NOT AGAIN!" The boy's powerful sorrow awakened his latent powers and a barrage of bio-blasts scattered across the city, vaporizing the opposition and Aunt May alike. "Say, that kid's not half bad at this!" Mxyzptlk noticed. "Let's see if he's half good." In an instant, the boy was in space aboard the enemy's Imperial Shuttle, completely surrounded. Unfortunately for him, his powers were beyond his control and all he could do was soil himself before the entire opposing force began tearing him limb from limb. A splash of the reality-bender's blood hit the nearby Amazo and the android began to reel with the immense power surging within him. For a moment he simply writhed and panted, but as he caught his breath a realization dawned upon him. "I am... complete. No more upgrades, no more threats, no more need for allies... I've become perfection!" The newly almighty Amazo flew out of the ship straight through the hull, destroying the ship and his own team mates in the process. Outside, The Eradicator, Supergirl, and The Phoenix were taken off guard as Amazo turned the planet's sun red, immediately draining the Kryptonians of the powers keeping them alive in the void of space. The flamebird attempted to possess Amazo and his incredible power but the cosmic entity was absorbed in its entirety, further empowering the android. He turned to face the planet and saw that the remaining combatants were still time-locked in all regions but the city. "Strange, but I'm not complaining. Sorry for your loss, Midgets." Effortlessly, Amazo caused the planet to spin out of control, flinging every motionless inhabitant from its gravitational pull and into deep space. Searching around him, he detected no remaining lifeforms. "Hmph. Not even a challenge. " Mxy and Joker were awed. "Wow, swell job imp! Way to drive our roster in to ruin and force me out of the comfort of nonexistence." The Joker disappeared from their extradimensional pocket and reappeared behind an unsuspecting Amazo. He detected Joker's presence immediately, turning around to face him. Joker appeared as a tremendous living planet with his cheshire grin plastered across it. "Surprise!" He shouted as he swallowed the android whole. His cackling stopped when he quickly realized his mistake and Amazo's phoenix power erupted from inside him, blowing him apart. Now imbued with 5th Dimensional power, Amazo could see through the veil and noticed Mxyzptlk. He began a charge, but Mxy scoffed lightly. "Amateurs," he remarked, and he crumpled reality into a wad like a piece of paper before spreading out a fresh one, free of the overpowered Amazo.