Press Conference of Darth Shemalya

Let it be known to all that I am requesting members of this league to engage in trade talks with my current owner, Mr. Christopher Brian Artrip of the Slaves.  I no longer wish to serve his whimsy since it is apparent that he lacks the respect for me that I deserve and more importantly, have earned this year.  I am sure everyone will agree that without my presence in the matches to which I appeared, Mr. Artrip would be 3-6, not 6-3.  I AM THE SOLE REASON THE SLAVES WERE IN THE PLAYOFFS THIS YEAR!!!  Shame on you Mr. Artrip!  You disgrace Shemalya by dishonoring me.  You disgrace yourself for not playing me in the playoffs.  You disgrace this league for not trumpeting to fear such a formidable force as myself! I shall leave you, Mr. Artrip, with one word that I wish for you to suck on -- BORO!  Darth Shemalya out.