Season 7, Playoff Round 1 - TEAM vs Super Kitties

TEAM is: Red Sun Superman, Supergirl (Linda Danavers), Black Lantern Darth Vader, Michael Demuirgos, Captain America, Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, Ragnarok, Thorion the Celestial, Green Lantern Batman , Sif and the Warriors Three (Hogun, Volstagg, & Fandral), Kwisatz Haderach Chris Artrip & Star Sapphire Julie Artrip, Lando Calrissian & Nien Numb in Millenium Falcon, Black Lantern Pete Sosa, Nathan Storey w/Devil Lance (Shining Force) (9 Deaths)

The Super Kitties are: Primus (9 deaths); Yoda's Spirit (w/ White Lantern Ring); Supergirl; Black Racer; Monarch; Green Arrow (9 deaths) and Black Canary (9 deaths) in a Ferrari 360 Modena; Larfleeze (Agent Orange); Red Lantern Guy Gardner (w/ red and green lantern rings); Mr. Majestic; Juggernaut; Aunt May w/ Baby Bucky and Doozer #2 in a Mail Jeep; The Superman Emergency Squad: Don El (he has 9 deaths), Van Zee (he has 9 deaths), Vitar, and Superman Emergency Squad #1-5 (#1-2 and 4-5 have 9 deaths); Peeta Mellark (w/ Jarnborn (Thor's Axe from his youth)) w/ a Yoshi Egg; Aslan the Lion (w/ a green lantern ring); Vampire Assaj Ventress in a Bell P-63 Kingcobra; (Kingdom Come) Wonder Woman; Krypto the Super Dog (he has 9 deaths); Robin ((original) Dick Grayson) on an Oscorp Glider (he has 9 deaths); Vampire Nick Houslander in Stephen King's "Christine".

“Nick, you seriously need to drive faster. This is the last time I ride with a player to get to a match.  The Commish is blowing up my cell phone and chances are this thing is going to be done before we get there.  Then what am I going to write?”  A frustrated Fizzatu says to his buddy Vampire Nick Houslander as they drive around the Playoff Planet looking for any sort of fight happening.

“Dude.  Settle down.  First I had to adjust all the mirrors and check and make sure all the lights and signals worked on the car.  Then I got my decibel meter out to make sure the radio wasn’t too loud. Also, it isn’t safe to drive above the posted speed limit.  I care about your safety, friends.”  Nick replies.  

“Thats another thing. Why are you and Pete riding together?”  Fizzatu says glancing at Black Lantern Pete Sosa relaxing in the backseat.  “You guys are playing for opposite teams.”

“Pete and I wanted to have a pre match cigar together.”

“Fizz is right though, Nick. You are a Vampire driving a 30 year old Plymouth Fury.  Name one reason you would drive safely to get to a deathmatch.  Also, I am pretty sure we are lost.”  Black Lantern Pete Sosa says taking a long drag on his Camacho Criollo, glancing out the window into the darkness.

“First, this isn’t some normal car. It happens to be Stephen King’s Christine.” Nick says. “This car could easily kill me so I would like to not anger her. And second, we are not lost. Here we are in the desert.”

“Like I said though.”  Fizzatu says annoyed looking at the dead bodies outside. “The fight here is over.  We missed it.  Let’s get out and see who died.”

Fizzatu walks to the top of the nearest dune and look down at the carnage. First he sees the dead bodies of Kwisatz Haderach Chris Artrip and Star Sapphire Julie Artrip.  Whoever took his reincarnated self down paid the price because scattered around his corpse are several dead bodies.

“From the looks of it…” Nick says pausing to take a drag of his cigar. “Looks like Iron Man got into it with Juggernaut over there.  Not sure which one won since they are both dead but it does look like Larfleeze took out Michael Demuirgos.”

“I think you are right.”  Fizzatu says walking around the dead body of Lafleeze to recreate the event in his mind.  “Then Larfleeze got his head blown off.  Probably by Green Lantern Batman over there.” Fizzatu says pointing to the corpse of the caped crusader.

“Well then who took out RL Guy Gardner?  He had both Red and Green rings.  No easy task…  Having both rings gives you both Sith and Jedi power, right?” Says BL Pete Sosa.

Vampire Nick and Fizzatu just stare at BL Pete.

“WHAT?”  Pete says annoyed. “All you dudes do all day is talk about FFL.  Some of it is bound to rub off on me.”  

The other two ignore him and walk around the back side of the gigantic KH Chris Artrip. Dead on the ground is Volstagg.  “It looks to me as if he was shot by Green Arrow over there.” Nick says.

Fizzatu agrees, “Yeah, and Ragnarok looks like he took out Green Arrow and then.. woah.  Irony… He got killed by Peeta Mellark’s Jarnbjorn! How cool! Look how it crushed his skull in.  It looks like whoever killed Peeta ran him over with a car and took off that way.”  Fizzatu points in the direction of the tire tracks leading out of the desert. “Crushed his Yoshi egg too.  That sucks.”

“Peeta died too?  Guess we will be seeing his name in the sky tonight.” Nick says to Fizzatu as they both share a laugh.

“Haha. Yeah. He was Luke’s cousin or something from Star Trek, right?”  BL Pete says. Again, the other two just stare blankly and shake their heads at him as they walk back to the car.

“So I guess I’ll just follow those tire tracks.” Says Nick

“Who do you think was in that car?” Pete asks

“Black Canary.” Fizzatu says as he is looking at his phone. “I just checked my email. Green Arrow and Black Canary were started in a Ferrari and Green Arrow is dead and I don’t see Canary anywhere.  Gotta be her.”

As they are getting into the car, they hear a dog barking and running after them. Fizzatu rolls down his window and Krypto the Super Dog flies at the trio super fast and stops just outside the rear passenger door.  “Let him in, Christine” Nick says to the car who happily obliges by popping open the door.  Krypto hops in the back seat and sits next to BL Pete.  “Now follow those tire tracks!”

Christine kicks herself into gear and the three take off.  A short while later, they arrive next to the water area of the Playoff Planet and get out.

The burning wreckage of the Millenium Falcon sits on the shore of the lake. It appears to have collided with the Bell P-63 that Vampire Assaj Ventress was flying.  Crushed underneath the hull of the Falcon is the spirit of Yoda.

“How does one even crush a spirit?” Nick wonders out loud. 

"Just get married and find out" Pete says.

“And why does that dude only want to stand next to water?” says Fizzatu

“Great questions.  Lets see who else is dead and get out of here. “ BL Pete says.

Thorion the Celestial lies dead on the ground with a massive hole in his chest. Nearby, a SUPER battle took place. The burned and beaten remains of the entire Superman Emergency squad, Supergirl and Mr. Majestic lies dead for the Kitties along with Red Sun Superman, Linda Danavers and Captain America for TEAM.

“Man. I cannot believe I missed this match. Most of the Emergency squad had 9 deaths too. Dammit.” Fizzatu says growing more annoyed with himself.

“Yeah but they took out Superman, one of the Supergirls and Captain America.  Good tradeoff in my book.” Nick says.

“You think they took down Thorion too?” Fizzatu says.

“Thorion is in kind of a big crater. Looks to me like he fell from above” Nick says.

“Oh yeah, Primus probably killed him. I wonder if he is still alive” Fizz says looking up to space above.

“I love that band Primus!” BL Pete says.

Again…

“Oh man, this chick was hot!” BL Pete continues, now ignoring the response from his pals. He is looking at the corpse of Sif.  Her and her remaining two warriors appear to have died in an epic battle along with Black Racer, Aslan the lion and Monarch for the Kitties.  “How does a lion have a GL ring?” Pete asks.

“It’s the FFL man.  You imagine it, it happens.” Fizzatu says. “Now lets get into the city, perhaps we can see if Primus is still alive from there and see if anyone is still alive.”

The three friends and Krypto get back into the murder car and head for the city.  As they enter the downtown area, the remains of the final battle are evident.  Two smashed cars can be seen next to the dead remains of the Incredible Hulk, A mail Jeep with Aunt May, Baby Bucky and Doozer #2 and a Ferrari carrying the Black Canary.  They park the car and head toward the spot where Black Lantern Darth Vader is strung up dead by the Lasso of KC Woman. Nearby is the corpse of Robin (Dick Grayson). Diana walks toward the three.

“Sorry we would have been here sooner but your partner here doesn’t know how to drive.” Fizzatu says nodding his head in the direction of Nick. “Are you the only one left down here?”

“I think so, well, except for Primus. He is still up in the sky. He took down Thorion and Red Sun Superman. It was sweet.” KC Wonder Woman says.

“Ahh.  We thought Supes was killed by the Emergency squad. They both landed in the water region.” Fizzatu explains.

“They were all up there fighting. Not sure who exactly killed who.” she says now turning her attention to Nick. “And we would have teleported home victorious by now if you weren’t driving around with this well toned lad from the other team.”

BL Pete notices Wonder Woman as she eyes him up and down.  Letting down his guard he shoots her a look as she approaches him and runs her hands across his chest and up to his neck. He quickly thinks of a good pick up line.  

"Hey babe. You wanna go take a ride in your invisible train?" Pete says.

"Dude, again?" Nick says.

A grin slowly begins to form on Pete's face and WW quickly snaps his neck.

“That should do it.” WW says one second before an 8-bit Devil Lance runs through her torso and she falls dead on the ground.

Nick looks at her killer that stands behind her and says. “NATE! Dude how are you?”

The 9 death Nate Storey is not interested in small talk. He slowly starts walking toward his pal.  He walks right past Fizzatu.

“Uhh, hey Nate. It’s Chris.” Fizzatu says.

Nate, who now has nick cornered against a building wall, pauses momentarily to say hi to Fizz and then raises his Devil Lance.

“Come on Man. Let’s talk this out.” Nick says trying to diffuse the situation.

The wall is suddenly lit up in brightness as Christine speeds directly for the two and crushes both of them against the wall.

“Woof Woof!” Krypto says jumping out of the backseat and sitting at the feet of Fizzatu.

Fizzatu takes a knee and scratches behind the dog’s ear.  “You ready for the Confernce Finals boy?”