Universe Bowl VII: URGENT MEMO

The transmission I promised you guys. I believe this changes everything.

Mr Duer,

My name is Arnold Zybasco and I'm one of the chief astronomers here at the University of Zanthos. I'm emailing you with some news of grave importance.

I was using the telescope at the university to study the outer rim of our stratosphere, when I saw the space based headquarters for the two teams participating in this year's Universe Bowl. As this "sport" really holds no interest to me, I paid them no mind and continued my research.

Suddenly, the stars began moving in a very peculiar fashion, and the sun seemed to get closer. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw an explosion. Oddly enough, all the stars seemed to be converging on the battlefield of the FFL. I switched over to our satellites view, at no small cost I may add, and what I saw shocked and horrified me.

It's as if the planet itself had attacked the combatants and slaughtered them all. There were bits of bodies, spacecrafts, and weaponry everywhere. I saw what I believe is a "Star Sapphire" struggling in vain to fight the gravitational pull that was pulling her into our sun.

To say this is unprecedented is an understatement. I don't know what could be causing this, or why, but I feel it imperative for us ALL that we immediately cease this event and end all affiliation with the Fantasy Fantasy League. Clearly, there has been a balance upset here, and if we don't stop it now, we all may suffer the consequences.

I have already sent reports of my findings to the various GMs, coaches, and Watchers of the "FFL" but none seem to be interested in what I have to say. I even included a list of the casualties of this phenomena culled from footage taken from our satellites and identified by various colleagues who follow this barbaric sport. The fallen are:

Kitties:

- Vitar

-Vampire Nick Houslander, Ewok #56, Peeta Mellark (w/Jarnborn (Thor's Axe) and Smurf 7

-Larfleeze

-(Kingdom Come) Power Woman

-(Kingdom Come) King Marvel

-(Kindgom Come) Lady Marvel

Midgets:

-Blue Lantern Hal Jordan

-Black Lantern Ryan Poteracki

-Boba Fett

-Aayla Secura and R-2 unit #3

-Star Sapphire #2

Please, Mr Duer. Please save us all.

Thank you for taking this threat seriously,

Dr Arnold Zybasco