Friday, November 21, 2014

Season 8: The Great Purge: Official Post

Hello my fellow nerds, here is your opening post for what will hopefully be a fun and crazy, transitional year in the world of Fantasy Fantasy (it will surely be an interesting one if nothing else).

This season will have the same set-up as the past few years, except for the fact that every match will be a total, and with no exception, absolute deathmatch, meaning that every member of the losing team will die (whether the Watcher writes it that way or not). In addition, every match during the regular season this year will deal at the very least double deaths to the characters that do not make it out of the match (a few matches will be even more (see the schedule below for more details on that)).

There are parts of this season that will be very different. It is designed to be a fun and transitional year. Some of these things will most likely work out and some will not. Some of these ideas may sound good to you and some not. I assure you that I share your skepticism when it comes to some of this stuff. I just ask that people do their best to enjoy it and have fun with it, and that the issues that will undoubtedly arise will be altered completely or changed back to normal next year. This is after all just supposed to be a fun release from the more serious things in life.

New Rules and Changes:

There are very few new rules being instituted this year.

-The only actually new rule is that any time an owner plays a Star Wars Vehicle, they can now play a Droid with it for FREE. With this, the amount of vehicles being played with out necessary or near necessary droids to pilot them should be brought to a minimum, and when it does come time to play these vehicles, owners will not be required to waste much needed playable points in that match. With this change, I for one will openly say that several Watchers, including myself will have very little love for owners who still play vehicles without a droid in them, I cannot speak for the other watchers though. There are astro-droids available on the waiver wires for those who need them.

-The most notable change this season will be that one of the matches played each week during the regular season will not actually be watched. It instead will be brought to a vote by the active Watchers, which will be known as a Watcher Consortium. This is an attempt to mix things up a bit and to bring in a new objective approach to some of the match outcomes. If the vote is close, than the winning team will have less characters survive the experience. If the vote is a blow-out, then more characters will survive (more to come on this later, feel free to direct questions, comments, or suggestions to me via email). As of right now, we have no idea if this idea will work out or not. We are just going to give it a shot for one year and see how it goes.

-Another change will be, one that was suggested a few years back. Every non-Watcher in the league will be asked to watch at least one match throughout the year (See the schedule to find your week). Over the years there have been many people who have said that they did not think they were up to doing this; which is why we are not asking anyone to do anything more than they think they can handle. If the Guest Watcher for that week wishes to write a story in the traditional way that we Watchers have in the past, than that would be great; but it is NOT necessary. If the guest watcher would rather simply look over the two teams and give their opinion as to which one is better, than that is okay too. Some creativity would be appreciated, but the only thing that is required is that whoever judges the match please remain completely fair and unbiased. Not unbiased towards characters, terrains, or their own unique nerd ideology, just simply unbiased towards the two owners involved in your particular match. I ask that people please just have some fun with this, and if you have any questions or concerns, we Watchers are there to help. Please do not hesitate to ask.

-Also, in an attempt to ease the paper trail of this league, and to add a potentially fun variable into the mix; in each match from week 2-7 every team will be randomly assigned a group of ten nine death commons will be added to your roster each week for free. I am unsure what exactly the watchers will do with those each week; but perhaps it will be a surprise to us all. This will hopefully add a new and unique aspect to the matches this week, as well as emptying out the common waiver wire. In week 1 each team will be given two additional unique characters from the waiver wire to add to your Baseball Roster, and in Week 9 each team will get one additional unique character off the waiver wire (just for fun (if there are enough commons left to fulfill this need))! These will be posted at a later date.

-There will not be prizes this year, they will return in Season 9.

-The last idea will be held to a vote. I personally think it would be cool if for THIS YEAR ONLY, in an attempt to further purge the league that we up the number of teams that make the play-offs from 8 to 12 (with the four division winners receiving a bye to the second round). Feel free to vote on this issue to me personally through any means that you find convenient, or in the comment section of this post.


The Schedule:


Week 1: This will be our annual sports week. This year, you will be asked to pick 16 characters. There is no point limit, the only requirement is that you choose characters that can fit in the batter’s box. If you wish to pinpoint what position each of these characters plays, that would be better but it is not necessary. For those of you who do not know baseball well, here is a rough breakdown of what positions the characters could play (some of these could be mixed up a bit, or made more specific if you wish):

1. Starting pitcher
2. Catcher
3. 1st Baseman
4. 2nd Baseman
5. Shortstop
6. 3rd Baseman
7. Right Fielder
8. Center Fielder
9. Left Fielder
10. Manager (can be player/manager if you wish)
11. Middle Relief Pitcher
12. Closing pitcher
13. Designated Hitter
14. Utility Infielder
15. Utility Outfielder
16. Pinch Hitter

-TEAM Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (consortium)
-Griswold’s Nut-busters Vs. Lanyanderlet’s Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Becks)
-John and Vader’s House of Sith Aids Vs. The Royal Highness (Josh)
-The Sisterhood of the Traveling Midgets Vs. Real Men’s Rabble Rousers (Fizz)
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. George Washington’s Slaves (Guest Watcher: Adam).
-The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. Washed up Ho Miley Cyrus and The Imperial President Barack Obama’s Best of Both Worlds Touring Battalion of Commandos (Mike)
-Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s: Beeyatches Vs. The Empire (Nick).
-Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies Vs. Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions (Guest Watcher: Aaron).


Week 2
Setting: The Forest of Hyrule
Points: 300

-Griswold’s Nut-busters Vs. The Royal Highness (Fizz)
-TEAM Vs. Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions (Pogo)
-John and Vader’s House of Sith Aids Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Becks)
-Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies Vs. Layanderlet’s Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Dave)
-The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets Vs. Robin Thicke’s gross toy and Constitution Burning President Barack Obama’s Best of Both Worlds Touring Battalion of Commandos (Guest Watcher: Ryan)
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Real Men’s Rabble Rousers (Consortium)
-Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. The Empire (Nick)
-Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s: Beeyatches Vs. George Washington’s Slaves (Josh)


Week 3
Setting: Section Z
Points: 500

-TEAM Vs. The Royal Highness (Dave)
-Griswold’s Nut-busters Vs. Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions (Nick)
-John and Vader’s House of Sith Aids Vs. Layanderlet’s Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Mike)
-Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Pogo)
-The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets Vs. The Empire (Becks)
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Miley’s Ol’ Used Up A** and King Obama’s Best of Both World’s Touring Battalion of Commandos (Josh)
-The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. George Washington’s Slaves (Consortium)
-Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s: Beeyatches Vs. Real Man’s Rabble Rousers (Guest Watcher: Goofjuice)


Week 4
Setting: The Streets of Rage
Points: 700

-TEAM Vs. Layanderlet’s Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Nick)
-Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. Griswold’s Nut-busters (Josh)
-John and Vader’s House of Sith Aids Vs. Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions (Guest Watcher: Ed)
-Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies Vs. The Royal Highness (Fizz)
-The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets Vs. George Washington’s Slaves (Becks)
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Empire (Mike)
-The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. Real Man’s Rabble Rousers (Dave)
-Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s: Beeyatches Vs. Miley and Barack’s Blah blah blah (Consortium)


Week 5
Setting: The Play-Off Planet
Points: 999
**5 Deaths (yes, that is 5 deaths) will be given to every character that does not make it out of this match**

-The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets Vs. Layanderlet’s Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Fizz)
-Real Man’s Rabble Rousers Vs. TEAM (Josh)
-Pop-Former Star Hannah Montana and Barack “Don’t Care about Montana (and the fly over country) Obama’s Best of Both World’s Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. The Royal Highness (Becks)
-George Washington’s Slaves Vs. John and Vader’s House of Sith Aids (Guest Wathcer: Ryatu the Great and Powerful)
-The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies (Consortium)
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions (Mike)
-The Empire Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Pogo)
-Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s: Beeyatches Vs. Griswold’s Nut-busters (Dave)


Week 6
Setting: Doky Doky Panic Desert
Points: 450

-The Empire Vs. Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies (Consortium)
-Real Man’s Rabble Rousers Vs. Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions (Mike)
-Pop-Superstar Layander and President Brock Sampson’s Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Josh)
-George Washington’s Slaves Vs. Layanderlet’s Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Pogo)
-The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets Vs. Griswold’s Nut-busters (Guest Watcher: Eric).
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. TEAM (Fizz)
-The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. John and Vader’s House of Sith Aids (Dave)
-Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s Beeyatches Vs. The Royal Highness (Nick)

Week 7
Setting: Level 7-2
Points: 350
**You may only play 1 Unique Character in this match, the rest must be commons**
-The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets (Becks)
-Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s Beeyatches Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips (Josh)
-George Washington’s Slaves Vs. Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana and President Death Panel’s Best of Both World’s Touring Battalion of Commands (Mike)
-The Empire Vs. Real man’s Rabble Rousers (Fizz)
-Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies Vs. John and Vader’s House of Sith Aids (Pogo)
-Griswold’s Nut-busters Vs. TEAM (Guest Watcher: Laya and Alex)
-The Royal Highness Vs. Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions (Consortium)
-Layanderlet’s Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Nick)

Week 8
Setting: Ice Climber Mountain
Points: 250

-Layanderlet’s Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family Vs. Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions (Josh)
-The Royal Highness Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Fizz)
-John and Vader’s House of Sith Aids Vs. Griswold’s Nut-bsters (Consortium)
-Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies Vs. TEAM (Becks)
-Non-Superstar Miley Cyrus and “If only the other 2/3 of the country would have voted” President Barack Obama’s Best of Both Worlds Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. Real Man’s Rabble Rousers (Guest Watcher: John)
-George Washington’s Slaves Vs. The Empire (Pogo)
-The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips (Nick)
-Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s: Beeyatches Vs. The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse (Dave)

Week 9
Setting: The Pit 2
Points: 75
**9 Deaths (yes, that is 9 deaths…. (no, you didn’t read it wrong the 2nd time either, that is 9 deaths)) will be given to every character that does not make it out of this match**

-Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Pogo)
-Layanderlet’s Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family Vs. The Royal Highness (Consortium)
-John and Vader’s House of Sith Aids Vs. TEAM (Nick)
-Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies Vs. Griswold’s Nut-busters (Becks)
-MSNBC-Superstar Barack Obama and Persistent Miley Cyrus Best of Both Worlds Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. The Empire (Dave)
-George Washington’s Slaves Vs. Real Man’s Rabble Rousers (Josh)
-The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips (Guest Watcher: Fred)
-Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s: Beeyatches Vs. The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets (Mike)


The Draft List:

As you will see below, the draft list for this year is very small. It will only consist of exactly three rounds, with no off list picks (other than the ones listed on the draft list itself). After this season, with the league healthily purged of many characters, there will be a very large draft, reminiscent of years of old, making in the words of Darth Vader: “The Circle now complete”.
Here is the list:

1. John Zacharski (6)
2. Dark Side Adept Kyle Houslander (14) and Dark Side Acolyte Zachary Houslander (14) (22 total)
3. Asgardian Matt Oblak (10) and Dementor Teresa Oblak (14) (22 total).
4. Nova Corps Nathan Storey (20) and Failed Jedi Bran (8) (26 total).
5. Dark Side Marauder Robert Hudson
6. Black Lantern Kyle Houslander(6) and Zombie Zachary Houslander (6) (10 total).
7. Black Lantern Matt Oblak (6) and Black Lantern Teresa Oblak)(6) (10 total) w/ Zombie Robert Hudson(6).
8. Zombie Matt Oblak (6) and Zombie Teresa Oblak (6)(10total), w/ Black Lantern Robert Hudson).
9. The Star Wars Rebels Team: Kanan Jarrus(25), Ezra Bridger(15), Zeb(22), Sabine Wren(22), Hera Syndulla(15), and Chopper (C1-10P)(6)(70 for whole team) w/ The Ghost.
10. 2 Marvel Characters and 1 Marvel Vehicle.
11. 2 D.C. Characters and 1 D.C. Vehicle
12. 2 Star Wars Characters, 1 Star Wars Vehicle, and 1 Star Wars Weapon.
13. Marvel Grab Bag (1 Random character)
14. D.C. Grab Bag (1 Random Character).
15. Star Wars Grab Bag (1 Random Character).
16. Grayson (20)
17. Lockdown w/ his ship
18. Pax’s Team (Orion Pax not included): Hardhead and Garnak (30 each, 58)
19. Manbearpig (7)
20. Battra (44)
21. Earl Butz (6)
22. An Ion A-5
23. Faora (58)
24. Jor-El (35)
25. Devil Dinosaur (33)
26. Thunderclash (36)
27. Fred Garvin: Male Prostitute (6)
28. Blacnket Hood Man (6) and Bobert (6) w/ Towel Cape Boy (3)(10 total) w/ Bobert’s Triple White Chrysler Lebaron.
29. Earth 2 Batman (34) and earth 2 Catwoman (24)(55 total).
30. 30 Resurrection Points and 1 Common Vehicle
31. 60 Resurrection Points and 1 Retired Vehilce
32. Zombie Kyle Houslander(6) and Black Lantern Zachary Houslander (6) (10 total).
33. Off List Pick
34. Off List Pick
35. Off List Pick
36. Off List Pick
37. Off List Pick
38. Off List Pick
39. Off List Pick
40. Group Off List Pick
41. Any 2 Vampires from the league
42. Build Your Own Character.
43. Build Your Own Team (Up to 6 Characters)
44. 1 Zombie
45. 1 Vampire
46. 1 Black Lantern
47. Verminard (38)
48. (movie) Galvatron (50) w/ Galvatron’s (comic book) team: Nova Prime(30), Dreadwing(30), Jhiaxus (30), and Waspinator(25) (90 for whole team).

8 comments:

Josh the Commish said...

As always, if (more like when) anybody sees any issues or mistakes with the schedule or anything else, please contact me as soon as possible so I can correct it.

Ryan said...

Very cool idea. I'm interested to see this in action.

Watchers: please for the love of f$&k, be sure to provide me with who sent who to the graveyard in your matches. This season is going to be quite the undertaking for the roster updates.

Josh the Commish said...

Yes it is!! Great point Ryan!! I was hoping he was going to be gracious enough to continue his work as the roster wizard (but it's going to be rough, I didn't want to speak for you). But it will be very important that individual Watchers keep straight who they are killing off as well as who is doing the killing.

Josh the Commish said...

As of right now, the Play-off vote stands at 7-2 in favor of adding the 4 extra teams for this year.

Josh the Commish said...

The vote is now 8 to 2. One vote for, or one abstention will end the vote.

Solobeck said...

Ebola Becks was left off the list! Shame!!!

Josh the Commish said...

Ebola Becks was quarantined on to his own list. Ya know, safety first.

Josh the Commish said...

The necessary 9th yes vote has finally come in. There will be 12 teams in the play-offs for this season ONLY.