Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. Crack Danks

 Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are The Shazam Family:  Mary Marvel, Capt. Marvel Jr., Eugene Choi, Pedro Pena, Darla Dudley, & C.C. Batson, Capt. Marvel, Cyborg Superman (w/ yellow lantern ring), & Link (w/ green lantern ring).

Crack Danks are Dr. Manhattan (w/ The White Lantern Ring), Black Lantern Superman, Leonardo, Donatello, & Raphael, Beowolf, & Rabban Harkonen (w/ 2 blasters).

Prologue:  

Two powerhouses of such potential of mass devastation could not simply be put into a city without the setting becoming marred and destroyed beyond repair; so we Watchers chose the one location that could not possibly be made worse by the devastation.....

Now for the Match:

WELCOME TO DETROIT, MICHIGAN everybody, it's a beautiful day chock full of just a little bit of rain, a dense chill, and a balmy 43 degrees.  The two teams roll in ready for a fight; but it looks like they are going to take in a little bit of the scenery first.

Leading the Dinomites is Captain Marvel and the Captain Marvel family as they roll into town (No, not that Captain Marvel, the Marvel Captain Marvel and Marvel Family from DC, the DC Captain Marvel isn't here).  Eugene turns to Pedro and says:  "Dang dude did the battle already happen and we missed it??  I mean, look at this place".

"You ain't kidding bruh, good thing we brought Robocop with us".  Retorts Pedro.

Mary gives them both a glance that obviously means SHUT UP and says:  "That isn't Robocop on our team, it is Cyborg Superman.  And he looks pissed so try and keep it down.

Back on the other side of the battlefield...  city....  err, battlefield; whatever...  The Crack Dizzles are ready to sizzle.  And by sizzle, I mean none of them seem to have much in common and are keeping to themselves, other than the Ninja Turtles who are still mourning the loss of their brother Mikey (RIP in the chat for Michelangelo, this is the Ninja Turtles first match without him).  "Hey Leo, this place kind of makes you miss the New York sewers doesn't it" asks Donatello.

"COME ON LEO....  Shut Donnie up, AIN'T NOBODY GOT ANY TIME FO DIS.  Now let's get these bodacious baddies and get the shell out of this city".  proclaims Raph defiantly.  

Both teams turn around the corner of Michigan Avenue and Trumbull where they first see the sight of an abandoned baseball diamond and then catch a glimpse of each other.  The battle quickly ensues with a vengeance.  Beowolf begins lighting off a flurry of counter-measures scattering the Marvel Family in all directions.  Leo, Don, and Raph engage in a melee with C.C., Darla, and Pedro making for a strangely pitched battle.  The Marvel family being far more powerful, but the Turtles having skills that are far more honed.  This battle rages on, while the rest of the Marvel clan unleashes everything they have on the enormous Neo-Titan Cymek Beowolf.  

Link blocks three quick shots from the dual blasters of The Beast Rabban, and then relieves the Harkonen Madman of his head, finally drawing first blood in this vicious encounter.  

Link then turns to his right and sees the intense battle taking place between Cyborg Superman and Black Lantern Superman.  As they punch each other with building leveling punches and eye beams that could even be used for melting steal beams and Epstein memes for all y'all poetic dreams.  Cyborg Superman, weakened to his almost breaking point, takes flight and lights up the Black Lantern version of his arch-enemy with every ounce of yellow energy he can muster from his ring.  Black Lantern Supes blasts right through the assault and rips the half-robot, half-Kryptonian's head from his body.  The Black lantern, still glowing yellow from the energy pumped into him screams in a mix of anguish and victory.  Link sees this and leaps into action.  Completing a summersault, he charges up his bow and arrow with the power of his green lantern ring and delivers an arrow directly into the eye socket of Black Lantern Superman creating the blast of dual lantern power necessary to kill a Black Lantern.  

White Lantern Dr. Manhattan and Captain Marvel take to the air and head high above the city for what is certain to be the most epic battle of the match.  The two over-powered characters glare at each other with intensity when Capt. Marvel notices that Dr. Manhattan is naked.  Not to mention that the once blue Captain Marvel is now white (the least favorite color of anyone who is woke).  An appalled Marvel instantly grabs her I-phone and begins tweeting about how she cannot believe that a racist man is allowed to fly around naked, but that she isn't allowed to.  "THE PATRIARCHY IS ALIVE AND WELL" she screams whilst reading her own tweet aloud.  Dr. Manhattan then disappears as he in CANCELLED from existence, while Capt. Marvel simultaneously dies of PTSD Butthurt causing their skirmish to result in a draw.

As these events unfold, The Marvel family battles on with the Turtles and their unlikely ally Beowolf (who ironically looks a little bit like the Technodrome now that I think about it).  With lasguns and old-fashioned missiles blazing about out of the arsenal of Beowolf who is being hit by an endless flurry of magical force, the three heroes in a half shell duck down into a ditch for a moment where Donatello reveals a plan of action.  The Turtle that best does machines (that's a fact jack) reveals that after studying the specs of Beowolf he found out about the micro-nuke within his hull.  "I have a plan that could win us this thing, but I have to admit, it is a real D*&% move" confesses Donnie.

"WELL DO IT ALREADY" Bellows Raph.

"I don't know guys, let me meditate on this for a minute.  I mean, what would Master Splinter do"??  Says Leonardo.

"COME ON LEO.  SPLINTER AIN'T EVEN HERE" says Raph with vigor.

Donnie looks at them both and says:  "I hate to say it Leo, but I think I agree with Raph on this one".

Leo nods and Donnie pulls a remote control out of his utility belt.  The Turtles pull up a manhole cover and jump into the sewers.  Donatello presses down on the remote just as the Marvel Family is converging over the top of The gargantuan Cymek.  Much to the surprise of their supposed ally Beowolf the tactical nuke within his hull blows up taking out most of what is still standing in the city block.  Including the entire Marvel Family, except their most powerful member Mary who with her superior powers and experience was able to shield herself from the blast.  The Turtles come out of the sewer to see a battered Link, who barely got his red tunic on in time to shield from the radioactive blast.  Link is too busy attempting to get the tunic off before it burns him alive, while the Ninja Brothers look around in wonder to see if anyone else survived, their question was quickly answered.  The scream of "SHAZAM" is heard as Mary flies in fast in a rage towards the three Turtles.  She makes short work of Donatello before pushing Raphael to the ground with vigor.  Raphael instinctively swings his double Sais together and delivers the two weapons through the ears and into the brain of Mary Marvel as she blows a hole through Raph's chest.

Leonardo looks in shock at seeing his two brothers deaths; but draws swords knowing that this fight is not over.  Link draws his sword as well and the two tired and battered warriors take a moment to size each other up.  "With all the powerhouses in this battle, who would have thought that it would come down to just you and me".  Link yells to his worthy opponent Leonardo.

"Well, considering that we are the obvious two favorite characters in this match of the Watcher Joshatu the Great and Powerful....  It seems pretty obvious actually".  Leo says in snide fashion as he breaks the Fourth Wall.  

The two warriors nod to each other in respect and clash with ferocity.  An evenly matched melee battle ensues for some time.  Link tries to confuse his opponent by bringing out his boomerang, but Leo swiftly cuts it in half.  Leo then comes down hard on Link's Hyrulian Shield and is shocked to see his well-forged Katana shattered.  The Turtle uses this unplanned distraction to his advantage as he gets behind the shield and is able to knock it from the arm of Link creating a one sword to one sword contest.  Leo knocks Link to the ground with a roundhouse kick after a well-timed sword parry and begins to move in for the kill; but Link is able to regain grip of the Master Sword and send it up underneath the chin of Leonardo before the Ninja could deal the finishing blow.