Week 5 NLDS Rematch: The Washington Redskins vs The League of Heterosexual Gentlemen

 Washington Redskins are Yoda (w/ Dwarf Ring #4), Professor Charles Xavier, Namor the Sub-Mariner, The Sando Aqua Monster, Wolverine, Sinestro (w/ The White Lantern Ring), Beginning in The Leviathan: The Full Spectrum, commanded by OA Guardian #1 & 2, Larfleeze, Indigo One, Munk, Saint Walker, Sodam Yat, Carol Ferris, Dex-Tar, & Romat Ru, Scar in a TIE/IN Interceptor, Black Lantern #9 in a TIE Dagger, Black Lantern #10 in a Y-Wing, Omega Supreme, Powergirl, Star Wolf in a Fury Class Interceptor, Darth Plagueis, Mandalore the Great (w/ The Darksaber), Toad, Peppermint Patty, and Marci in The Ebon Hawk, Robert Muldoon and Wicket W. Warrick in The Batmobile, Little Beaver and Wallabee #5 in a Dodge Viper.

The League of Heterosexual Gentlemen are Avatar Aang w/ Star Sapphire, Superman, Martian Manhunter, Parallax, Harry Potter, Dracula w/Power Ring, Galadriel, Magneto w/Red Lantern Ring, Sabertooth, Master Mold, Heimdall, Freya, Homelander, General Kenobi, Legends Leia Organa, Darth Malgus, T-X, Vampire Blue Lantern, Yellow Lantern 1a, and Atlanteon #1-5.

Pregame

“It has begun” says Saint Walker as he floats upon the stars with Indigo One and Carol Ferris. 

“Everything we’ve prepared for comes down to this day… WILL, HOPE, FEAR, RAGE, LOVE, COMPASSION; the only way we have a chance to stop these gentlemen and most importantly the man we so eagerly await, Superman.”

Carol Ferris, sending off electromagnetic waves with rings burning hot to touch; has already acquired Avatar Aang’s Star Sapphire from nearly 50 million miles away, creating a force field around the 3 lantern leaders as they watch over earth peacefully.

Saint Walker’s ring oozes with blue energy as not only is his ring charged to levels exceeding 300% from Sodam Yat and ChiPs rings; but he has instilled hope in each individual of the Washington Redskins that although they may think they’re outmatched, it’s no odds these lanterns haven't seen in their brightest days and blackest nights. 

Indigo One begins channeling the entire emotional spectrum to oversee the possibilities of this skirmish, meditating in silence. Grateful yet concerned to have Sinestro and Scar on her side, Iroque gains a new perspective on the evils of the spectrum and even life and death itself. Sinestro’s power gives him a sense of arrogance and dismissiveness that makes him feel above all life forms, while Scar’s complete loss of morality and life keeps him in a constant state of frenzy making him unpredictable.

Each lantern has already abandoned their ships and gone to their assigned sector of the playoff planet and taken unconscious control of their ships to form a fleet in space.

Although the Redskins are scattered far and wide, it’s as if each ring bearer shares one collective consciousness through the full spectrum and they’re all fighting by each other's side, giving them a significant tactical advantage. 

_____________________

Superman Is extremely wary of the power that the full spectrum and Sinestro’s white ring brings to the table, making sure his team doesn’t allow their emotions to get the best of them on the field. 

Kal El explains to Magneto and Parallax the importance of them sticking together. “The only way to kill a black lantern is to combine the powers of two different rings.” Parallax nods as he is well aware of this but Magneto raises his eyebrows as this is a foreign language to him. Parallax continues to explain to Magneto that “Combining our powers of rage and fear could be our best shot at leveling the playing field here on the Planet as they have a clear advantage, especially with Sinestro knowing the ins and outs of my power and how to control the output of my ring.” 

_____________________

The Match

~Water

Namor rides high and fast on the Sando Aqua Monster who’s munching on the 5 atlanteans that mistakingling tried to get in their way. Namor is looking for any other competitors when Martian Manhunter flies up from the deep waters of the ocean to merge into the Monster, separating it’s head from his body and leaving Namor without a ride. 

Fighting side by side with the real king of Atlantis on the daily, Manhunter scoffs at the lousy knockoff.

Namor creates some space between him and the martian and throws everything he's got at him, but it's nothing J’onn J'onzz didn't anticipate. Using his phasing abilities, J’onzz gains some serious ground on the submariner with zero resistance and punches a hole through Namor’s abdomen. 

Pulling his bloody forearm slowly out the Submariner, he hears a growing noise coming from the sky. The floating abandoned leviathan was thrown down by Indigo One and dove at blistering speeds. Before Martian Manunter can fly away, he gets CLOCKED by the 600 meter long cruiser, engulfing him in flames and killing him immediately 

~Sand

Aang, Master Mold, Heimdall, Freya and Homelander stand in the long winding dune of the playoff planet with Powergirl and Omega Supreme approaching with Professor X, Romat-Ru, and Dex-Tar trailing behind. 

Aang has surrounded himself with a sand/rock wall as he and Heimdall proceed toward Powergirl. Heimdall, who hasn't had a hand laid on him in battle in centuries receives a flurry of punches at speeds he couldn't have even imagined leaving himself dead in seconds; Kara then grabs Aangs head and bashes it against her left knee several times creating a bloody mess out of the avatar, falling out of the sky like a fly. 

In the meantime, Homelander does his best chinese kitchen impression and kills Dex-Tar who was just having the best time playing in the sand, and just being a really good kitty. 

Homelander and Freya join each other to ground Romat-Ru and take his life, but are met by Omega Supreme who goes to work.

Master Mold is one big ole target and Professor X is struggling to even connect with his brain. The giant sentinel and Omega Supreme are in a high pitch battle trading blasts of plasma and laser energy while Power Girl waits for the right time to attack. Professor X is trying to lock in but is avoiding the crossfire as fast as his crippled self can. 

Omega Supreme is doing his best to withstand the blows from Master Mold, nearly knocking him off his feet making him vulnerable to a SUPREME right hook that finished him off. 

Using every ounce of strength Professor X has he finally tapped into Master Mold’s brain, sending him into an unconscious state. Power Girl takes immediate advantage and starts going ham, eventually delivering an uppercut that brought his chin to where his forehead should be.

Powergirl stands by her lonesome and is GASSED, as Professor X died from his efforts in controlling Master Mold. 

“You a bitch fr cous,” says Superman as he quickly realizes he's very late to the party, “You killed all my friends.”

Powergirl retorts, knowing she has nothing left in the tank and that this is the end of the line. “Sorry cuh, shit was tight, I had too, skill gap type shii they dont know me”

Superman launches towards Powergirl, grabs two handfuls of her blonde locks and stares into her eyes sending devastating heat beams into her skull. 

“Hate to do you like that but like you said, skill gap type shii” he says, laying Powergirl down like she's being put down for a nap.

Not happy with what he sees, Superman has an eerie feeling that this is all a distraction, but doesn’t know exactly why or what for. Clark has no choice but to journey to the city where more redskins await. 

~Forest

Galadriel has taken leadership among her teammates and claimed the forest as hers with Magneto, Kenobi, Leia, Parallax, and Harry Potter. Standing opposite are a small fleet of the Redskins ships, Yoda, Wolverine Larfleeze, Scar, and Black Lanterns 9 and 10 in a less organized manner but ready nonetheless. 

For the first time in the match the heteros have a serious matchup advantage as Magneto gets this party rolling by crushing the Fury Class Interceptor and the Ebon Hawk that were hovering towards the League. He then does the same to the batmobile and the dodge viper crushing all inhabitants of the vehicles and creating a giant sphere of metal in which he tosses at Yoda.

“Him, I am” Yoda exclaims sweeping underneath the sphere and creating enough momentum through the force to send it right back at Harry Potter who doesn't have a chance to avoid it.

Magneto wasn't done there, sensing his long time enemy without even laying eyes on him. Wolverine tries to draw back and regroup but is picked off the ground and torn apart. Yoda tries to put an end to his madness but is met by Kenobi and Leia, swinging their sabers at the green midget and giving him all he can take.

Magneto, not knowing how to use his Red Lantern Ring, sauces it towards parallax allowing him to send combined lantern blasts towards Scar and the black lanterns disintegrating them in mid air. 

Larfleeze grabs Yoda and puts him beside as hes outnumbered and losing. Grounding himself, Larfleeze creates 2 6 feet long flails bursting with Orange radiation and goes to work on Kenobi and Leia. Agent Orange propels the flails into the torsos of the two Jedi masters and hurrels them out of the battle area. 

The dead combatants around him have larfleeze bloodlusted as if his ring is feeding the alien with what feels like 500 milligrams of caffeine straight to the bloodstream. Bursts of electromagnetic energy are effortlessly coming out of Larfleeze, lightning strikes coming down without a cloud in sight. Parallax and Galadriel let out screams of agony as they feel their soul is being taken out of them at will and their magic drained at the source. Yoda and Magneto brace themselves for the atmosphere has grown to nearly 300 degrees making it unbearable to stand. Surrounding bushes and trees are overcome by flames with more devastating lightning strikes coming from above. An aura of light grows upon the small group until finally a massive explosion releases from the Orange Lantern Ring burning everybody to a crisp.

Larfleeze, down on his knees, looks at the shattered Orange ring in his palm and a battlefield of fallen soldiers. Reminiscing in the glory of the slaughtering that just commenced. 

“Call me selfish, but I just cooked for the whole restaurant”, whispers Agent Orange; face planting with a sinister smile and a sense of fulfillment in death. 

____________________________

“That was pretty majestic not gonna lie” Iroque says with Walker and Ferris sticking out their necks in shock. 

“The end is near, continue your preparations”

____________________________

~City

“I’m late again?!”

Superman approached the large city of the playoff planet slowly, already seeing several dead on the pavement. Mandalore The Great, Sabertooth, Dracula, the OA guardians and many others, perished. 

Just when Clark thought he was alone, he gets rocked by a nearby building thrown directly at his back by Sodam Yat. 

“A fellow Kryptonian aye”? Superman says as he grabs a hold of Sodam’s hand and separates it from his forearm, disconnecting him from his green lantern ring. Clark then delivers a series of bone shattering jabs to the chest of Yat sending him into a state of pain he can't even fathom, killing him in a matter of seconds. 

Sinestro is all that remains, leaving him alone with Superman. 

Sinestro wastes no time trying to bury Superman with everything the White Lantern Ring has to offer. The ring is trying to feed off Sinestro's will and belief to win this battle, but he simply doesn't have it in him. Superman is trudging through the projectiles being thrown at him until he finally reaches his hands toward the neck of the Korugarian. Superman tightens his grip, suffocating Sinestro as he stares into his eyes  watching his soul leave his body and the Ring leave off his finger. 

Superman lunges for the ring but It avoids him like the plague.

“Come to momma” Indigo One says to the ring as it races towards the stars with Superman following at the speed of light. 

Superman passes the lithosphere and is bombarded with a shower of blue, scorching hot meteors thrown by Saint Walker and Carol Ferris. Saint Walker has created a catapult that is launching the remaining Redskins ships floating in space to do everything he can to slow down the king. 

“I feel… LIFE. I feel… FREE.” Indigo places the White Lantern Ring on her opposite index finger distributing the white energy throughout her body , feeling her plan finally come to fruition.

600% 

Saint Walker’s ring has triplicated, taking hosts of 3 different rings on his right hand, growing in power with each second he fights alongside the presence of Iroque and her White Ring. 

Carol Ferris takes initiative after Superman broke through their first line of defense creating a wall of flames to combat the incoming heat vision. 

As the wall dissipates Superman sends a roundhouse kick to the dome of Ferris knocking her head clean off.

“You fags were always my least favorite corp anyway” Clark says, visibly tired and attempting to catch his breathe with the two remaining lanterns showing no sign of letting up. 

Everything from Saint Walker is coming with 0% effort and 100% confidence. The Saint creates an absolute mammoth of an Ax and is ready to end this fight. Superman gets caught with one solid shot followed by a crushing down thrust with the sharp end of the ax sending him pummeling nearly 500 meters below them. 

“This power Is untapped,” Indigo One says, conjuring up a sizable piece of kryptonite out of thin air. 

“Now how do we use it”?

Still gathering himself, Clark tries to shake off what he thinks is a concussion. 

“Let me cook” 

Saint Walker tosses the ax aside and snaps his fingers to create a crossbow aimed directly at the S on Superman's chest with the piece of kryptonite attached to the head of an arrow.

At this point Superman wants nothing more than to demolish the ugly alien and is flying at world shattering speeds. 

Simultaneously, as Superman connects his fist with Saint Walker's face, Walker fires the arrow directly into Superman’s heart, which cuts through like butter and exits out his back. Letting out a groan representing not just pain and misery, but disbelief. 

Iroque stands alone. Flabbergasted by the fast moving events that just occurred.

Postgame

Munk, who never left the locker room, sits beside Indigo One; So quiet you could hear a pin drop. 

“I was straight up crapping that entire time, my name ain’t indigo two for a reason” Indigo One smiles as they embrace

“You did the impossible today, and there’s nobody I’d rather serve” Munk notes while closely admiring the White Ring. 

Saint Walker's discombobulated face, the shattered Orange Ring and the deaths of nearly 50 brave souls who put it all on the line for their squad. All sacrifices that needed to be made for salvation. 

“On the brightest day there will be light. To cleanse the soul and set wrongs right. When darkness falls, look to the skies. A new dawn comes, let there be light.“

While reciting the White Lantern oath, sitting triumphant with the most powerful item in the DC universe, Iroque can’t help but have an overwhelming sense of angst and guilt for contributing to the massacre that took place today. But she can always look ahead to brighter days.