Dolla 49 McRib Vs. The Cowboy Killaz

 Dolla 49 McRib is The Anti Monitor, Dr. Fate, Count Dooku & FA-4, Darth Malak in a Jedi Starfighter, Wonder Woman, Fin Fang From, Fortress Maximus, Ultraman, The Spectre, The Living Tribunal, & Uncle Grandpa.

The Cowboy Killaz are Commander Ahsoka Tano in a TIE Dagger, Sky Lynx, Landon Calrissean, Lobot, Ajax, Beowolf, Hecate, Storm, & Jeh-Wu in an ID4 Transport, Ultron, Master Mold, John Stewart, Martian Manhunter, King Beerus, Cal Kestis in a Geonosian Starfighter, & Wiccan.  

Good day ladies and gentlemen, it is I Joshatu the Wise; and I am here to relay a vision to you all.  As powerful and omnipotent as I am, I can tell you that time is relative.  For I have seen this adventure already, past, present, and future simultaneously; and a truly epic one it is.  This match will be conducted differently, as I shall give you two separate, but complete perspectives on the day.  My counterpart The Neon Master Pogo and I shall switch back and forth throughout this match to give a perfect analysis of today's events.  

I shall begin:

JOSHATU THE GREAT:

As this epic tale begins we find a brutal battle already taking place between Ultraman and The Martian Manhunter.  While this is transpiring, The ID4 Transport is suffering major damage as the maelstrom of Kessel begins to dismantle the ship, which is too large to evade the natural disasters surrounding it.  Sky Lynx, the large Autobot Space Shuttle, attempts a rescue mission.  The large Cymeks, all leave the massive ship on their own in space worthy protective bodies.  Storm gets blown from the site; but has put on the proper space suit, she is alive but free floating throughout the area.  Lando and Lobot, just barely make it out of The ID4 Transport and into Sky Lynx.  They wouldn't have had Jeh-Wu not sacrificed himself, closing the airlock just in time to save his Captain and First Mate.  

Ahsoka is shot down by the combined powers of The Anti Monitor and Lord Malak, ejecting in the small escape pod of the fighter and also being rescued by Sky Lynx.  She is joined there by a battered, bruised, but very much still alive Martian Manhunter, who has defeated Ultraman in single combat.  

The Manhunter, along with Ahsoka, Lando, & Lobot are all inside Sky Lynx.  They begin the very opening ideas of how with their combined skills, they must find a way to navigate through The Kessel Run in record time if they are going to survive this experience and win the day.  The odds are against them, but they are not interested in the odds.  

I will return very shortly with an update; but will now allow my counterpart to tell a small part of the tale.

THE NEON MASTER POGO:

Hey turds, it's ya boi Pogo here.  I got me a wine flavored black and mild, and a double duece of Coors Banquet and I am gonna share all the action which ya.  It's a crazy one out here with the solar winds blowing and space turbulence or whatever it is you would call this is blowing my chubby butt all over the place.  And I ain't the only one.  We also got this ginormous space monster over to my left, or maybe right, I don't really know the difference, especially when I am upside down.  That thing looks hungry and is prolly gonna start eating some fools if they don't just get sucked into the vast nothing of wherever the Heck you go when space sends you somewhere else.  So, let's get down to it.  Somebody forgot to give Count Dooku and his droid a ship, so they went bye bye, Wonder Woman is tough as nails and hangs on to a random asteroid for a while; but basically samesies for her.  She grabs Wiccan on the way outta here and.......  Yup, I don't think Ima see them again.  Oh man......  Dang Chat.  This is about to get messy or something.  I think the space madness is overtaking these normally powerful dudes.  King Beerus literally just took a massive power dump down The Living  Tribunal's throat, but the Spectre grabbed Beerus and enclosed him in a force field and turtle farted him to death with his White Castle flatulence.  Joshatu would say something dumb like:  tHeY jOiN eAcH oThEr iN dEaTh, Ima just say they all died of poop.  Ha!!  Poop is funny.  Fin Fang Foom is a big, huge, dragon, deathbringer, Godzilla type guy, not sure what he is supposed to do out here in space.  NEXT.  Fortress Maximus and Master Mold, start tradind some mega huge metal robot punches and they continue to go at it as they float into the nothingness of space.  Uncle Grandpa says something racist and Storm dies of woke, right before she puts some space lightning up his butt.  Ultron shoots some poop at Dr. Fate and he dies a smelly death.  Ha!!  Heh......  Ha!!  It was really a laser he shot at him, I just thought it would be more funnier if I said it was poop.  Ha.  Poop.  The Anti Monitor and John Stewart start flying around and fighting err whatever too, while Hecate, and Beowolf come to help out the former host of The Daily Show or whoever that is.  Darth Malak just shot down Kal Kestis and then got Ajax with an ion cannon that turned off the life support and killed him; and then Ultron blowed up Malak's ship; but Malak totally did a Princess Leia Force thing and flew over to him to chop him in half with his lightsaber before getting accidently hit by Beowolf's wing.  Then, a bunch more fighting happened, and I got spun around and missed some stuff; but basically The Anti Monitor in like a last ditch effort or something took like a big fat space diarrhea dump on the guy from The Daily Show, who I don't remember being black and both of his human brain robot helper guys.  I think it prolly like evacuated his life force with his bowels or something.  

Wait.......

Wait.....  Wait...  

Crap.

I was supposed to go back and forth between Joshatu the Stuffy or something, wasn't I??..........  Dang.  He might be pissed.  He's a prick when he's pissed (and when he isn't).  

Well, hopefully you didn't miss much of what he had to say.  Here we go:

JOSHATU THE MIGHTY:  

So my friends, In conclusion..........

After this epic tale has been told to never be forgotten that we have witnessed here together.  Never have I witnessed and I am sure you would agree such a story of teamwork, brilliance under pressure, and selflessness for a crew as we did here today.  Here today, when we saw Sky Lynx focus his energon on defense, whilst allowing four brave Crew members inside to use their grit, bravery, and determination to navigate through and make The Kessel Run in only ten parsecs (if you round down by tens).  Thank you for joining in me in this unforgettable match.