TEAM Vs. The Sigmas

 TEAM is Tom Bombadil, Mandos, Vaire, Huorn #1-4, Reece Reamer, Darin Kupstas, Animal, Yoda, Ragnarok, & Sweep #2.

The Sigmas are Legolas, Melkor, King Manwe, Varda, Tulkas, Nessa, Elros, Elrohir, Farmair, Thorin Oakenshield, & 4 Ancient Balrogs.  

Time for a beautiful stroll through the woods.  I got my 20 gauge slung in case I see some small game, a lunch packed, my knit cap on, and a full flask in case the tummy gets cold.  It's your favorite Playah The Neon Master Pogo here and wait...........  Am I supposed to be Watching a Match right now??  Crap.  It was yesterday wasn't it.  This was my only shot to get back into the Watcher Crew and now Joshatu the Stuffy is gonna bench me again.  Let's see if this turd is still going on??  

It looks like I mostly just missed some meditating going on between Mandos, Vaire, King Manwe, Varda, Tulkas, & Nessa.  I'll just hang out over here and take a couple nips from this flask.  

WHOA.....  Was that a hammer that just almost hit me??  I guess this match has some action in it after all.  

Evidently, Ragnarok and Melkor have been locked in not so Mortal Kombat for quite a while and they are still going at it big time.  

Other fights are raging on as well looking basically more like a bunch of D & D characters prancing around with a bunch of Muppets than a battle.   

The four Huorns, normally would be no match for the power scale of four ancient balrogs; but home field advantage pays off.  They burn to death while doing so; but the four tree like life forms pull the ancient fire from the balrogs and therefore negate their existence in this realm.

Melkor, although the more powerful of the two combatants cannot seem to corrupt the already corrupted soulless Cyborg Thor Clone who will definitely not be dangerous because Reed Richards said so.  Ragnarok gets a hold of Melkor, now Morgoth by the neck, causing his evil essence to actually burn the synthetically grown hand of Ragnarok; but he fights through the pain and drives his mighty hammer into the head of Melkor to finish him.  This causes Manwe and Tulkas to break out of their concentration and undo the meditation pact they had made with the other Valor.  King Manwe goes full Simon Gruber on the situation, showing that not liking your brother is not the same as not caring when some dumb Irish looking Cyborg kills him (Happy St. Patrick's Day everybody).  The two of them, Manwe & Tulkas fighters both, joined by their wives converge on Ragnarok and destroy him.  Mandos the Judge appears then before all of them and decides that after the pact was broken and with both of the unholy demons Melkor and Ragnarok gone that the Valor shall all return to Valinor as one.  Manwe initially protested; but the Judge and his bride Vaire insisted as is their duty.  Tom Bombadil frolicked away from his fight with Elros for a time to seemingly add in some insight from The Eldest into the mix but instead he just turns and butt-toots in the general direction of The six Valor as they fade back into existence.      

Bombadil returns to the muppet fight where he, Yoda, and Animal were taking on Elros, Elrohir, & Faramir.  And where Reece and Darin are battling Thorin.  Sweep #2, the Decepticon Shuttle with plenty of firepower to burn this entire forest down attempts a full sweep of the area with every intention of ending this battle without caring whether his own TEAMmates are down there or not.  The Sweep in spaceship form, doubles back and prepares to do a carpet bombing strafe of the area that would even make Benjamin Netanyahu proud.  But, from the top of a high willow, sails just one perfectly aimed arrow that finds its way through the Hull of the Decepticon and perfectly pierces the spark bringing the quick demise of The Sweep (just because a shot with an arrow seems impossible doesn't mean Legolas can't make it).  Faramir then gets a hold of the gangle creature known as Animal and breaks his neck; but then finds himself confronted by both Yoda and Bombadil who had just finished off the brother elves and sons of Elrond himself:  Elros and Elrohir.  Reece and Darin still battling Thorin are reminded of when they worked together roofing.  Despite their best efforts they together cannot seem to keep up with the chubby, aging, axe-wielding Dwarf named Josh, err.....  I mean Thorin.  Oakenshield takes a mighty swing of his axe and relieves Darin of his head, but as his vape hits the ground in a mighty swell of courage and desperation Reece Reamer, son of Larry the Foreman takes up Whisper the mighty hammer and drives the claw directly into the head of Thorin.  With his mission accomplished, Reece attempts to catch a breath but is then sniped by an arrow from Legolas who seems to be moving further away from the battle.  

Faramir holds off Yoda and Tom Bombadil longer than most sword combatants could; but is soon overtaken by their speed and experience.  Tom catches out of the corner of his eye, a young elf he once knew and respected retreating back into his woodland home when his new friend Yoda says:

"Find the rest of The Sigmas we must.  What see you, Eldest One"??

Tom responds:  "This world reveals but a pinch, I saw nothing worth a lynch, let us call this day my young friend Minch".