George Washington Slaves are Agen Kolar, Ajax Major, Amazo, Ben Skywalker, Cade Skywalker, Cassandra Nova, Colossus, Corbin Dallas, Cosmos, Dare The Terminator, Inspector Gadget, Loki, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Mr. Miracle, Santa Claus, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder, Blitzen, Rudolph, Sarumon, Super-Soldier, T-1000, Windcharger, B'dg, Zillius Zox, Air Bud, and Jek Tono Porkins & R5-D4 in a X-Wing.
P.M.S. is Tug Speedman, Kirk Lazarus, Darwin, Predator #47, Xenomorph #51, River Tam, Balrog #2, The Peach, Assassin X, Major Maxim, Natalie Kassle, Nateri, Sam Whitwhicky, Pixie, Typhoid Mary, Terra, The Guild of Drundel Dorks: Dr. Boom Boom Pow, Evette, Groudious Maximus, Arjhan Darkscale, & Bagwa.
“Oh crap! It’s Santa Claus! We’re f*@%ed!!” yells Sam Whitwicky. “Dude, relax. It’s just Saint Nicholas. He’s cool,” replies Tug Speedman. “No, don’t you get it. Santa is actually a result of a virgin birth by Satan. So yeah, he’s like the antichrist. Christmas was actually known as the “Day of Slaying” and Santa would massacre tons of people all over the world. But then an angel beat Santa in a curling match and sentenced Santa to deliver presents on Christmas for 1,000 years. But those 1,000 years are up now, and now… wait… does he have a freakin’ lightsaber?!?” says Sam. “Oh that’s nonsense,” replies Tug. Santa Claus, along with his best bud Corbin Dallas, fly in and lops Tug Speedman’s head clean off with his lightsaber. “Sam, my boy, you’ve been very naughty spreading those lies about me,” says Santa. “Yeah, no one talks trash about my friend Saint Nick and gets away with it,” adds Corbin. He then pulls his gun out and blows a hole right through Sam’s chest. Super Soldier and Amazo then goes on an absolute tear and lands on the asteroid that the Guild of Drundel Dorks have set up camp on. They rip through all five of them as if they were origami. Dr. Boom Boom Pow is the only one who is even able to react to the attack, but it’s only to say, “this chicken’s jackin’ my style!” Terra then uses her powers to control several asteroids that are floating in space and directs them at the Slaves. Porkins tries to evade the oncoming asteroids but gets his X-Wing smashed in between them. Dare the Terminator attempts to sneak up on River Tam, but she is more than ready for this battle. The two fierce women duel on a small asteroid as the rest of the match wages on. Cassandra Nova quickly takes over the mind of Kirk Lazarus, who she then forces to turn his gun on The Peach and shoots him in the back. She then makes him turn the gun on himself and forces him to pull the trigger. River Tam and Dare the Terminator are deeply engaged in their duel, but River is able to overtake her opponent and breaks her neck with her legs. Cosmos is flying…well through the cosmos, with Agen Kolar, Ajax Major, Ben Skywalker, Cade Skywalker, Inspector Gadget, Air Bud, and Mr. & Mrs. Smith aboard. Cosmos flies over and drops them all off on a nearby asteroid. They are then immediately attacked by Major Maxim, Typhoid Mary, Natalie Kassle and Assassin X. Major Maxim unloads his massive gun at his opponents (Yep a gun in space. Are we really going to have that conversation??) and aerates Inspector Gadget, Air Bud and Mr. Smith. Colossus rushes (get it?) the Nazi Ubermensch. Major Maxim starts firing at the Russian mutant, but the bullets are just bouncing off of his metal skin. Colossus then crushes the huge gun and rips the much needed hoses out of Major Maxim’s back. He then brings his two mighty fists down on Maxim’s head for the killing blow. Natalie Kassle is able to get an upper hand on Mrs. Smith and delivers a knife right up under Mrs. Smith’s jaw. Predator #47 leaps off of a jutting rock and drives his spear up into the back of Agen Kolar, before the Jedi could react. (Pretty quick, huh?) Xenomorph #51 then mauls Ajax Major, who is able to stab the alien with his sword, but the acid blood sprays Ajax, badly wounding him. The Xenomorph then viciously rips the flesh off of Ajax. Ben and Cade Skywalker tried to get to Ajax to aid him, but they were too late. But they are able to avenge their fallen compatriot and with a simultaneous lightsaber swipe, they kill the Xenomorph. The two Skywalkers then turn their attention to Assassin X and Typhoid Mary. Cade attacks Assassin X, who even though is a skill combatant, is no match for a Jedi. Typhoid Mary uses her telekinetic powers however to distract Ben as he is trying to attack. She telekinetically throws pieces of the asteroid at Ben, but he is able to deflect them with his lightsaber. She then makes Ben Skywalker spontaneously combusts. The Jedi is engulfed in flames, burning him alive. Cade sees this and goes ballistic. He flips over the flames, extinguishing them with a Force push and then drives his lightsaber deep into Typhoid Mary’s abdomen. But he was too late to save Ben, who has died from the fire. Balrog #2 then stomps his way towards the team of T-1000 and Windcharger. The Autobot uses his magnetic powers (Bet you didn’t know that Windcharger has magnetic abilities? Well now you know.) to turn T-1000 into hundreds of sharp flying metal spikes which fly right into the Balrog before it can attack. T-1000 then melts and reassembles himself into his normal Robert Patrick form. Santa Claus and Corbin Dallas then fly over and with a sniper-accurate shot; Rudolph kills Predator #47 with a red laser blast from his nose. (Yeah, it can shoot lasers. Didn’t you know that??) In an odd team up, B’dg and Zillius Zox work together to kill Nateri and Darwin. Terra, Natalie Kassle, Pixie, and River Tam then form together to make a last stand against the horde of Slaves that are surrounding them. Terra uses her power to crush Cosmos with several asteroids. Pixie then makes the ultimate sacrifice and uses her powers to teleport not only herself, but Mr. Miracle, Super-Soldier and T-1000 to the middle of the nearest sun. But it’s still not enough, as the Slaves are too much for the remaining girls to handle.
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Team S.P. Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
Team S.P. is MODOK, War Skrull #1-5, Super Skrull, Skrull #1-14, Binary, Mothra, Ultron, SHIELD Agent #1-4, Unus the Untouchable, Roy Batty (w/ Mandalorian Armor & a green lightsaber), Female Sentinel #1-7, Kilowag, Deathbird, Kang the Conqueror, Vision, & Brainiac.
Alice's Wonder Team is The Q Continuum: Q, Q2, True Q, Q Representative, Lady Q, q, & Quinn, Primus, General Zod, The Anti-Monitor, The Spectre, Vampire #4-6, & Goblin #3-5.
The Q Continuum uses their powers not on Team S.P., but on their own team to warp the reality of the now and put the mighty and ancient Primus in the mindset that he was in when he fought his brother Unicron so many millennia ago. Primus awakens with a vengeance and prepares to take out his wrath on Team S.P. The Q do not necessarily have powers of mind control over a cosmic being such as Primus, but they do have the ability to warp reality in such a way to make even a being such as Primus feel a sense of urgency toward the battle at hand; which is exactly what they do. Anti-Monitor flies in and lands on a small asteroid where Ultron has sent up camp. The 2 begin battling while Kilowag flies off into the distance in an attempt to reach The Q Continuum, who he realizes are going to have to be attacked head on if the Sleeping Kitties are going to have any chance of taking out this space powerhouse. Super Skrull leads his squad of 20 Binarys against The Wonder Team’s Vamps and Gobs, while Deathbird and Kang mount an attack against the massive Primus. Zod and The Spectre hang back for the moment to wait and see exactly how this opening charge works out for both teams. The 3 Goblins are easily wiped out by Super Skrull’s Skrull team, but the 3 Vampires do manage to take out 2 of The Binarys (actually Skrull #4 & 14, which like all the regular Skrulls are simply bearing the appearance of Binary and not her powers like the War Skrulls and of course the real Carol Danvers possess) before they are wiped out as well. Super Skrull, who is retaining the powers of the original Fantastic Four as well as emulating some of Binary’s powers as well as Unus the Untouchable’s force field instantly turns his squad around to join the fight against Primus. As Primus attacks he instantly takes out all 4 SHIELD Agents along with the 7 Female Sentinels that he crushes as if they were pieces of tin foil, along with turning MODOK into MODOD (Mental Organism Designed Only for Dying). Primus then proves that Unus is more than touchable as he crushes the mutant with a clap of his hands, his force field only providing a slight amount of resistance to the huge Transformer Planet. True Q foresees that Vision could be a problem for Primus, since despite his size disadvantage, Vision’s ability to stay in an intangible state could bring this match to a stand still. True Q informs the rest of the Q’s and they then permit q to wipe Vision from this plane of existence. Kang and Deathbird both make a move toward Primus, but Primus grabs them both, one in each hand and squeezes the life out of them so quickly that they have no time to use their skills against him. Zod and The Spectre decide that it is finally time to join the battle. The Spectre moves against the massive Mothra (who seems rather small when Primus is in the match), while Zod flies up to meet Roy Batty. Roy has taken well to his new Mandalorian suit of armor/green lightsaber combo, but he is still no match for Zod. Zod flies in quickly, evading both the laser blasts and lightsaber swings of the Nexus 6 and catches Roy with an upper cut to the chin that takes his replicant head clean off. The Spectre flies up slowly, having no fear in his approach toward the much larger Mothra. The Spectre uses his limitless power to destroy the divine moth, but Mothra in an amazing last ever move as a member of Team S.P. from all the way back to Season 1, releases all of her scales to coat The Spectre with her poisonous yellow powder while she simultaneously blasts him with her sun strike buster to actually destroy The Spectre and make him join her in death. Ultron is being battered by Anti-Monitor, but he has not quite had enough just yet. Anti-Monitor launches a massive energy bolt at Ultron, but Team S.P.’s very first pick manages to absorb the bolts just long enough to redirect the energy causing a massive blast which takes The Anti-Monitor out with him. Brainiac confronts the Q Continuum and begins speaking to them telepathically in a way that only beings of such superior intelligence could understand. Brainiac not only attempts, but actually succeeds in possessing the mind of The Q Representative, but after he does so, the rest of the Q Continuum simply allows The free-floating Representative to die, which of course takes Brainiac out with him. Although the Q Continuum does not seem at all thrown off guard by the interference of Brainiac’s 12th level intellect, it did distract them enough to not see Kilowag flying up behind them. Kilowag taps into his ring’s power more than he has ever done before to explore any possibility of defeating the continuum. The ring tells him that the only possible way is to actually trap the Q’s inside itself and then wipe out the ring’s entire memory core. Kilowag makes this move, and with one immense flash of green energy True Q, q, & Quinn are all trapped inside. Kilowag is amazed that this actually worked but when he tries the trick again, he finds that Lady Q has blocked Kilowag’s mind from communicating with his power ring. Lady Q, then finishes what she has begun and uses her powers to send every molecule of Kilowag’s body to a different part of the universe. The ring, as a defense mechanism wipes away the very being of the 3 Q’s that were trapped inside of it. Super Skrull and The Binarys make their final push against Primus. They all attack Primus’ chest in hopes of finding a weak spot, and they are able to make Primus make a noise that they seemed to think was a sign of pain. This enrages Primus who begins swatting at all of the Binary look-alikes. It is at this point that it becomes obvious as to which Skrulls are which, because only Super Skrull, the real Binary and The 5 War Skrulls are quick enough to evade the swings of Primus. All 12 of the remaining regular Skrulls, that had only been able to emulate Carol Danvers power of flight were destroyed. Q, Q2, Lady Q, & General Zod decide that they should lend a hand to their massive teammate. The remaining Q’s alter reality to return the Skrull’s genetic manipulation powers back to a time when they could not emulate the powers of the people whose identity they are copying. With this accomplished, Primus has no problem swatting the Skrulls out of space. While this is happening, Zod begins a one on one battle with Binary. Binary’s powers are more than capable of putting up a defense against the Kryptonian’s and almost strong enough to defeat him..... Almost.
ALICE’S WONDER TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!
Alice's Wonder Team is The Q Continuum: Q, Q2, True Q, Q Representative, Lady Q, q, & Quinn, Primus, General Zod, The Anti-Monitor, The Spectre, Vampire #4-6, & Goblin #3-5.
The Q Continuum uses their powers not on Team S.P., but on their own team to warp the reality of the now and put the mighty and ancient Primus in the mindset that he was in when he fought his brother Unicron so many millennia ago. Primus awakens with a vengeance and prepares to take out his wrath on Team S.P. The Q do not necessarily have powers of mind control over a cosmic being such as Primus, but they do have the ability to warp reality in such a way to make even a being such as Primus feel a sense of urgency toward the battle at hand; which is exactly what they do. Anti-Monitor flies in and lands on a small asteroid where Ultron has sent up camp. The 2 begin battling while Kilowag flies off into the distance in an attempt to reach The Q Continuum, who he realizes are going to have to be attacked head on if the Sleeping Kitties are going to have any chance of taking out this space powerhouse. Super Skrull leads his squad of 20 Binarys against The Wonder Team’s Vamps and Gobs, while Deathbird and Kang mount an attack against the massive Primus. Zod and The Spectre hang back for the moment to wait and see exactly how this opening charge works out for both teams. The 3 Goblins are easily wiped out by Super Skrull’s Skrull team, but the 3 Vampires do manage to take out 2 of The Binarys (actually Skrull #4 & 14, which like all the regular Skrulls are simply bearing the appearance of Binary and not her powers like the War Skrulls and of course the real Carol Danvers possess) before they are wiped out as well. Super Skrull, who is retaining the powers of the original Fantastic Four as well as emulating some of Binary’s powers as well as Unus the Untouchable’s force field instantly turns his squad around to join the fight against Primus. As Primus attacks he instantly takes out all 4 SHIELD Agents along with the 7 Female Sentinels that he crushes as if they were pieces of tin foil, along with turning MODOK into MODOD (Mental Organism Designed Only for Dying). Primus then proves that Unus is more than touchable as he crushes the mutant with a clap of his hands, his force field only providing a slight amount of resistance to the huge Transformer Planet. True Q foresees that Vision could be a problem for Primus, since despite his size disadvantage, Vision’s ability to stay in an intangible state could bring this match to a stand still. True Q informs the rest of the Q’s and they then permit q to wipe Vision from this plane of existence. Kang and Deathbird both make a move toward Primus, but Primus grabs them both, one in each hand and squeezes the life out of them so quickly that they have no time to use their skills against him. Zod and The Spectre decide that it is finally time to join the battle. The Spectre moves against the massive Mothra (who seems rather small when Primus is in the match), while Zod flies up to meet Roy Batty. Roy has taken well to his new Mandalorian suit of armor/green lightsaber combo, but he is still no match for Zod. Zod flies in quickly, evading both the laser blasts and lightsaber swings of the Nexus 6 and catches Roy with an upper cut to the chin that takes his replicant head clean off. The Spectre flies up slowly, having no fear in his approach toward the much larger Mothra. The Spectre uses his limitless power to destroy the divine moth, but Mothra in an amazing last ever move as a member of Team S.P. from all the way back to Season 1, releases all of her scales to coat The Spectre with her poisonous yellow powder while she simultaneously blasts him with her sun strike buster to actually destroy The Spectre and make him join her in death. Ultron is being battered by Anti-Monitor, but he has not quite had enough just yet. Anti-Monitor launches a massive energy bolt at Ultron, but Team S.P.’s very first pick manages to absorb the bolts just long enough to redirect the energy causing a massive blast which takes The Anti-Monitor out with him. Brainiac confronts the Q Continuum and begins speaking to them telepathically in a way that only beings of such superior intelligence could understand. Brainiac not only attempts, but actually succeeds in possessing the mind of The Q Representative, but after he does so, the rest of the Q Continuum simply allows The free-floating Representative to die, which of course takes Brainiac out with him. Although the Q Continuum does not seem at all thrown off guard by the interference of Brainiac’s 12th level intellect, it did distract them enough to not see Kilowag flying up behind them. Kilowag taps into his ring’s power more than he has ever done before to explore any possibility of defeating the continuum. The ring tells him that the only possible way is to actually trap the Q’s inside itself and then wipe out the ring’s entire memory core. Kilowag makes this move, and with one immense flash of green energy True Q, q, & Quinn are all trapped inside. Kilowag is amazed that this actually worked but when he tries the trick again, he finds that Lady Q has blocked Kilowag’s mind from communicating with his power ring. Lady Q, then finishes what she has begun and uses her powers to send every molecule of Kilowag’s body to a different part of the universe. The ring, as a defense mechanism wipes away the very being of the 3 Q’s that were trapped inside of it. Super Skrull and The Binarys make their final push against Primus. They all attack Primus’ chest in hopes of finding a weak spot, and they are able to make Primus make a noise that they seemed to think was a sign of pain. This enrages Primus who begins swatting at all of the Binary look-alikes. It is at this point that it becomes obvious as to which Skrulls are which, because only Super Skrull, the real Binary and The 5 War Skrulls are quick enough to evade the swings of Primus. All 12 of the remaining regular Skrulls, that had only been able to emulate Carol Danvers power of flight were destroyed. Q, Q2, Lady Q, & General Zod decide that they should lend a hand to their massive teammate. The remaining Q’s alter reality to return the Skrull’s genetic manipulation powers back to a time when they could not emulate the powers of the people whose identity they are copying. With this accomplished, Primus has no problem swatting the Skrulls out of space. While this is happening, Zod begins a one on one battle with Binary. Binary’s powers are more than capable of putting up a defense against the Kryptonian’s and almost strong enough to defeat him..... Almost.
ALICE’S WONDER TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!
Built (Bill) Ford Tough vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips
“Space by itself, and time by itself, are doomed to fade away into mere shadows, and only a kind union of the two will preserve an independent reality.”
-Albert Einstein
I awaken from what transpired only days ago. I now remember the match that took place. . . I remember looking at the teams to do battle in the Rischey Mays during the Week 4 Match. They were as follows:
The Horsemen of Apokolips: Monarch, G-Force/Battle of the Planets crew in The Phoenix, Eternity and The Celestial Fourth Host: Hargen the Measurer, Tefral the Surveyor, Nezzar the Calculator, Gammenon the Gatherer, Arishem the Judge, Jemiah the Analyzer, Eson the Searcher, Oneg the Prober and Ziran the Tester.
Built (Bill) Ford Tough: (new) Blue Beetle, Han Solo and Chewbacca in a Snow Speeder, The Heart of Gold with Ford Prefect, Zaphod Beeblebrox, Marvin the Paranoid Android, Trillian, Jeff Houslander, Capt. Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper, Toshiko Sato, Ianto Jones, Dr. Who, Power Man, Iron Fist, Archie the Octo-Spider, Cookies, Steve McQueen, Keith Mars, Veronica Mars, Weevil, Wilt, Barry Sanders, Star Sapphire, Grapple, Moltar, Joey, Pacy, Dawson, The Beatles, Mr. T, Ellie, Katie, Simone, Benjy, Grimace, Gigantor, Despotellis, Nom Anor, Mandalorians #6-10, Arachnids #1-6, Fantastic Max, FX and AB in a Go-Cart, Smoky the Bear, Beta Ray Bill, The Flaming Carrot and Dr. Seth Brundel.
The match began with the intensity unlike I have ever seen. The multitude of cosmic entities produced by the Horsemen created true havoc within the space-time-reality continuum. The Built (Bill) Ford Tough Team was suited with special gear designed by the members of Torchwood to fight the Horsemen. Nonetheless, BBFT recognized that they were greatly outmatched, but fought they did - brilliantly.
The battle began. . .
In an unprecedented event, the Celestials removed their helmets; their faces shown for the first time since the beginning of time itself. The BBFT team does not understand why the entities have removed their protective head gear, but they are determined to take advantage of this bold move.
Toshiko Sato (shouts in her helmet comm.): Their heads!!!! Go for their heads!!!
Eson the Searcher was immediately surrounded by Power Man, Mr. T., Steve McQueen, Joey, Pacy and Dawson. Being that the Dawson’s Creek crew was not a true threat and the fact that their characters lacked any manner of significance in the scheme of the television industry, Eson sought fit to destroy them first. Eson used his powers to “scramble” the bodies of Joey, Pacy and Dawson together. Thus, JoPaDaw merged into a single mass and died. Steve McQueen reacted to JoPaDaw’s death. McQueen took Power Man’s chains, climbed up Eson’s back and used the chains to strangle the Celestial. Mr. T joined him. Without his helmet, Eson was actually harmed by the mere mortals. While Eson struggled with McQueen and Mr. T., Power Man rushed up and used his superhuman strength to ram his fist into Eson’s face. An explosion occurred at the fists’ striking and Eson’s life force drained from him. The defeat of Celestial Eson overcame the macho men; they laughed and hugged. McQueen, Mr. T and Power Man were victorious in their fight.
Barry Sanders, Grimace, Smoky the Bear and Despotellis surrounded Nezzar the Calculator. Nezzar attempted to catch Barry Sanders, but the former Lions’ Running Back was too quick. . . at first. Eventually Nezzar opened his hand and pointed to Sanders. Sanders began to run at a supersonic speed. Sanders’ body could not cope with the speed put upon his body and he exploded. Grimace bounced to Nezzar’s head. The purple blob tugged at Nezzar’s head, hoping to gain an advantage, like his teammates McQueen and Mr. T. Smoky the Bear jumped on Nezzar’s back. Nezzar quickly turned, trying to buck both Grimace and Smoky. Grimace held on; Smoky did not. Nezzar pointed at Smoky and the bear, ironically, burst into flames. Despotellis floated into Nezzar and the sentient virus used its abilities to burn Nezzar from the inside out. A cosmic force exploded through Nezzar’s body, which aimlessly floated away. Despotellis and Grimace looked at Nezzar’s body and smiled.
Gammenon the Gatherer faced Star Sapphire, Flaming Carrot and Arachnids #1-6. Arachnids #1-6 swarmed over the Gatherer. They attempted to rip apart his body, but were unable to do so. Gammenon destroyed Arachnids #1-6, since they were a mere annoyance. The Flaming Carrot sacrificed himself and jumped down the maw of Gammenon. The Flaming Carrot overloaded his flaming abilities and exploded in the Celestial’s body, which caused Gammenon severe pain. As Gammenon clutched his body, Star Sapphire flew up to the Celestial and used her ring to create an immense violet light construct that crushed Gammenon’s head. Gammenon’s life force exploded from his body and the Celestial died.
Dr. Who, Dr. Seth Brundel, Ellie, Katie, Simone and Benjy confronted Oneg the Prober. Dr. Who used his electronic screwdriver to mold the armor into the Celestial. The Prober could not move and the BBFT team took advantage of this. Although he could not move properly, Oneg used his cosmic powers to speed the process of Seth Brundel’s transformation into Brundel-fly. Oneg’s probing mind then decided to use his cosmic powers on Ellie, Katie, Simone and Benjy. Like JoPaDaw, Oneg brought the Rama-mates together into a giant fly swatter. Oneg used ElKaSimBe to smash Brundel into an asteroid; both “fly” and “swatter” were killed at the impact. While the fight ensued, Dr. Who noticed a cosmic storm headed their way. While Oneg focused on Brundel and ElKaSimBe, Dr. Who used his screwdriver to “lure” the storm their way. When Oneg was finished with the others, it was too late to realize that he was being sucked into the storm. The two competing forces- storm and Oneg- managed to rip each other apart. Oneg was killed in the explosion.
Ziran the Tester faced The Heart of Gold with Ford Prefect, Zaphod Beeblebrox, Marvin the Paranoid Android and Trillian. Beeblebrox shot Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster into Ziran’s face. Ziran was momentarily stunned. The crew decided to take advantage of Ziran’s preoccupation and sacrifice themselves at the same time for the betterment of the team. Prefect and Trillian overloaded the Infinite Improbability Drive of the spaceship and deliberately crashed it into Ziran. The flux caused by the overload destroyed Ziran the Tester and The Heart of Gold crew.
Jemiah the Analyzer fought the Torchwood team - Capt. Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper, Toshiko Sato and Ianto Jones. Utilizing their advanced technology, the Torchwood gang managed to destabilize the area around Jemiah. Although the cosmic forces were swirling around this skirmish, the Analyzer still managed to use his powers to rip apart Sato and Jones. Before their deaths though, the two were able to harness some of the cosmic forces around their battle and transfer them to Harkness. Harkness used these forces, and with a Torchwood piece of equipment from the Nebulon Galaxy, augmented these forces within his body. Harkness lashed out at the Analyzer. Harkness’ and Jemiah’s bodies exploded due to the cosmic force overload. Gwen Cooper cried at her mentor’s and teammates’ deaths, but was happy to have defeated another “unbeatable” Celestial.
Jeff Houslander, Fantastic Max, FX and AB in a go-cart (fusion propelled) and Gigantor met Hargen the Measurer. Hargen immediately destroyed the go-cart and all of its riders in the blink of an eye. Meanwhile, Houslander controlled Gigantor with the robot’s remote. Houslander knew his way around the intricacies of a joystick and had an uncanny ability to focus on the weaknesses of his enemies. He used the giant robot to repeatedly pummel Hargen until his death. A cosmic explosion occurred and Hargen’s body drifted away. Houslander jerked the joystick and Gigantor’s reaction was to raise its arms in victory.
Tefral the Surveyor met new Blue Beetle, Keith Mars, Veronica Mars and Beta Ray Bill. Tefral decided that Veronica was like Helen of Troy and would drive her teammates to victory. Tefral shot a cosmic blast at Veronica Mars. Keith Mars and Weevil pushed Veronica out of the way and sacrificed themselves for the beauty. Blue Beetle used the magic of the scarab which magically injured Tefral. The final blow came from Beta Ray Bill’s Stormbreaker across Tefral’s head. The cosmic forces explode from Tefral’s body and the Celestial dies.
Arishem the Judge stood against Iron Fist, Cookies, Wilt and Mandalorians #6-10. Iron Fist harnessed his chi and tapped into the superhuman energy of Shou-Lao. Iron Fist’s blow injured Arishem. Although injured, Arishem blasted both Cookies and Wilt, who burned where they stood. Mandalorians #6-10 utilized all of their arm weapons upon the Judge. After they unloaded their arm weapons, they released their rockets from their jetpacks. The rockets exploded in Arishem’s face. In response to the damage caused by the Mandalorians, Arishem wiped away their existence. Unnoticed was Iron Fist who came upon the Judge, once again, and smashed him across the face. A cosmic explosion occurred and Arishem died.
One Celestial remained- Hargen the Measurer. Archie the Octo-Spider, Grapple and Moltar focused on the Measurer. Knowing that they needed to do something drastic, Moltar removed his arms from his suit and shot an intense field of lava across Hargen’s face. Hargen was distracted by the molten rock as Archie the Octo-Spider and Grapple floated to Hargen’s face. The combined abilities of the Octo-Spider’s legs and Grapple’s robotic strength crush Hargen’s neck. A cosmic explosion occurs and Hargen died.
While other teammates were fighting the Celestials, Han Solo and Chewbacca in a Snow Speeder dueled with the Phoenix and the G-Force crew. Although the Phoenix appeared to be better equipped, Solo’s and Chewie’s skills managed to fire and punch a huge hole in the Phoenix. The shot killed all of the crew except for Tiny, Jason and Princess. Believing the ship was going to eventually explode, Solo and Chewbacca decided to fly toward their teammates.
Monarch scanned the Celestial carnage around him. Being that Monarch was nearly indestructible, the BBFT team was hesitant. Notwithstanding, the fact that the Celestials were defeated gave the BBFT team the confidence it needed to defeat him. The entire remaining members of BBFT swarmed Monarch. Monarch immediately used a powerful energy projection to destroy Nom Anor. He then teleported next to the four Beatles. All of the Beatles, except for Ringo, were killed by the quantum field manipulation of Monarch. Moltar fully stepped out from his containment suit and focused the true force of his lava at Monarch. The lava actually managed to destroy a portion of Monarch’s armor. Grapple then came from behind and began to pummel Monarch. Monarch went down on his knees, but was not killed. While Monarch focused on the eventual destruction of Grapple (who was destroyed), lava was unleashed again by Moltar at Monarch. Seeing a weakness in Monarch, the full remaining BBFT force charged. Jeff Houslander, Gwen Cooper, Dr. Who, Power Man, Iron Fist, Archie the Octo-Spider, Steve McQueen, Veronica Mars, Star Sapphire, Moltar, Ringo, Mr. T, Grimace, Gigantor, Despotellis and Beta Ray Bill rushed at Monarch. Monarch managed to destroy Grimace and Blue Beetle. The repeated intensity of the pummeling and barraging of the BBFT team actually defeated Monarch. Monarch was destroyed, but before his death, he was able to kill Archie the Octo-Spider, Moltar and Power Man.
After Monarch’s death the battlefield became an echoing realm of cosmic forces. The deafening sounds nearly shattered my eardrums. The intermittent stuttering of light nearly blinded my eyes. I experienced sensory overload. The cosmic forces swirled through space, creating a fury that disjoined reality. Through the haze I saw the Phoenix screaming through space.
Jason: What’s happening?!?!
Princess: We don’t have time to figure it out now!
Tiny: Get us out of here!!!
Sheer horror is draped on the G-Force crew’s faces at the carnage surrounding them. The lifeless bodies of all Celestials, along with Monarch, drifted through space.
Through the obscurity I saw the various members of the Built (Bill) Ford Tough Team shouting in victory. A large explosion occurred, yet this time, I am able to watch what transpired.
The G-Force Phoenix was caught in the explosion and has itself exploded, killing all remaining crewmembers. As the Phoenix exploded, so too does the Snow Speeder, which was caught in the cosmic waves radiating from the explosion. Han Solo and Chewbacca were able to jettison from the fighter in time though and eventually join their teammates.
Only Eternity from the Horsemen remained alive. Eternity focused on the enemy. He noticed the Wookiee shouting at him, and in annoyance, threw him across space to an asteroid away from the rest of his teammates.
Solo: CHEWIE!!!!!
Chewbacca: Roooaargh!!! Rowwaaargg! [Translation: My friend, we have been on many adventures together. You and I have the luck of the Force. But I believe that our time together is coming to an end. No one lives forever. Not even the Celestials, as was seen by the prowess of our teammates today.]
Solo: No!!!! I can’t go on without you!!!!
Chewbacca: Uuuraaagh! Hooorraaahh!! [Translation: You can and you will. You will defeat Eternity and the Built (Bill) Ford Tough team will pull off one of the greatest upsets in FFL history! I am proud to have served with you.]
Solo (tears streaming down his face): May the Force be with you!!!!
Chewbacca: Graaagh! Rooargh! [Translation: Live long and prosper].
Chewbacca saw a shadow engulfing his body. He looked above and screamed in defiance as an entire planet dropped on his head. Chewbacca and the asteroid which he was on explode into a million pieces.
BBFT teammates used the death of Chewbacca as the final impetus in order to defeat the Horsemen. An epic battle ensued. Eternity was actually destroyed by the entire BBFT team working together, but with the entity’s death came the deaths of Dr. Who, Iron Fist, Star Sapphire, Gigantor, Despotellis and Beta Ray Bill.
The surviving members- Han Solo, Jeff Houslander, Gwen Cooper, Steve McQueen, Veronica Mars, Ringo and Mr. T. shouted in victory, having defeated the power team of the Horsemen. The cheers begin to die down as they see all of the Celestials rise. Hargen the Measurer, Tefral the Surveyor, Nezzar the Calculator, Gammenon the Gatherer, Arishem the Judge, Jemiah the Analyzer, Eson the Searcher, Oneg the Prober and Ziran the Tester form a circle around the Built (Bill) Ford Tough team. They speak for the first time in millennia.
Oneg: Built (Bill) Ford Tough, you have valiantly fought in today’s battle.
Ziran: You have honored your team’s namesake.
Nezzar: You have honored your teammates.
Tefral: You have honored your owner.
Hargen: But today’s match was more than a measure of honor. It was a measure of hope. Hope shown in another team whose odds were overwhelming.
Arishem: A team that pushed on to the end. . . a surprising and unexpected end.
Jemiah: But Now that we have studied man’s disposition regarding hope.
Gammenon: And now we must study man’s disposition regarding. . . hopelessness. . .
Scientifically speaking, the Celestials have completed their endeavor in this match. They have observed the hope which overwhelmed the BBFT team after each minor and major victory. As they stand, looking at the current faces of Han Solo, Jeff Houslander, Gwen Cooper, Steve McQueen, Veronica Mars, Ringo and Mr. T., they understand hopelessness. . . as in the blink of an eye the BBFT mortals are wiped from existence in the Rischey Mays.
Built (“Bill”) Ford Tough: All dead.
The Horsemen of Apokolips: Hargen the Measurer, Tefral the Surveyor, Nezzar the Calculator, Gammenon the Gatherer, Arishem the Judge, Jemiah the Analyzer, Eson the Searcher, Oneg the Prober and Ziran the Tester survive.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
-Albert Einstein
I awaken from what transpired only days ago. I now remember the match that took place. . . I remember looking at the teams to do battle in the Rischey Mays during the Week 4 Match. They were as follows:
The Horsemen of Apokolips: Monarch, G-Force/Battle of the Planets crew in The Phoenix, Eternity and The Celestial Fourth Host: Hargen the Measurer, Tefral the Surveyor, Nezzar the Calculator, Gammenon the Gatherer, Arishem the Judge, Jemiah the Analyzer, Eson the Searcher, Oneg the Prober and Ziran the Tester.
Built (Bill) Ford Tough: (new) Blue Beetle, Han Solo and Chewbacca in a Snow Speeder, The Heart of Gold with Ford Prefect, Zaphod Beeblebrox, Marvin the Paranoid Android, Trillian, Jeff Houslander, Capt. Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper, Toshiko Sato, Ianto Jones, Dr. Who, Power Man, Iron Fist, Archie the Octo-Spider, Cookies, Steve McQueen, Keith Mars, Veronica Mars, Weevil, Wilt, Barry Sanders, Star Sapphire, Grapple, Moltar, Joey, Pacy, Dawson, The Beatles, Mr. T, Ellie, Katie, Simone, Benjy, Grimace, Gigantor, Despotellis, Nom Anor, Mandalorians #6-10, Arachnids #1-6, Fantastic Max, FX and AB in a Go-Cart, Smoky the Bear, Beta Ray Bill, The Flaming Carrot and Dr. Seth Brundel.
The match began with the intensity unlike I have ever seen. The multitude of cosmic entities produced by the Horsemen created true havoc within the space-time-reality continuum. The Built (Bill) Ford Tough Team was suited with special gear designed by the members of Torchwood to fight the Horsemen. Nonetheless, BBFT recognized that they were greatly outmatched, but fought they did - brilliantly.
The battle began. . .
In an unprecedented event, the Celestials removed their helmets; their faces shown for the first time since the beginning of time itself. The BBFT team does not understand why the entities have removed their protective head gear, but they are determined to take advantage of this bold move.
Toshiko Sato (shouts in her helmet comm.): Their heads!!!! Go for their heads!!!
Eson the Searcher was immediately surrounded by Power Man, Mr. T., Steve McQueen, Joey, Pacy and Dawson. Being that the Dawson’s Creek crew was not a true threat and the fact that their characters lacked any manner of significance in the scheme of the television industry, Eson sought fit to destroy them first. Eson used his powers to “scramble” the bodies of Joey, Pacy and Dawson together. Thus, JoPaDaw merged into a single mass and died. Steve McQueen reacted to JoPaDaw’s death. McQueen took Power Man’s chains, climbed up Eson’s back and used the chains to strangle the Celestial. Mr. T joined him. Without his helmet, Eson was actually harmed by the mere mortals. While Eson struggled with McQueen and Mr. T., Power Man rushed up and used his superhuman strength to ram his fist into Eson’s face. An explosion occurred at the fists’ striking and Eson’s life force drained from him. The defeat of Celestial Eson overcame the macho men; they laughed and hugged. McQueen, Mr. T and Power Man were victorious in their fight.
Barry Sanders, Grimace, Smoky the Bear and Despotellis surrounded Nezzar the Calculator. Nezzar attempted to catch Barry Sanders, but the former Lions’ Running Back was too quick. . . at first. Eventually Nezzar opened his hand and pointed to Sanders. Sanders began to run at a supersonic speed. Sanders’ body could not cope with the speed put upon his body and he exploded. Grimace bounced to Nezzar’s head. The purple blob tugged at Nezzar’s head, hoping to gain an advantage, like his teammates McQueen and Mr. T. Smoky the Bear jumped on Nezzar’s back. Nezzar quickly turned, trying to buck both Grimace and Smoky. Grimace held on; Smoky did not. Nezzar pointed at Smoky and the bear, ironically, burst into flames. Despotellis floated into Nezzar and the sentient virus used its abilities to burn Nezzar from the inside out. A cosmic force exploded through Nezzar’s body, which aimlessly floated away. Despotellis and Grimace looked at Nezzar’s body and smiled.
Gammenon the Gatherer faced Star Sapphire, Flaming Carrot and Arachnids #1-6. Arachnids #1-6 swarmed over the Gatherer. They attempted to rip apart his body, but were unable to do so. Gammenon destroyed Arachnids #1-6, since they were a mere annoyance. The Flaming Carrot sacrificed himself and jumped down the maw of Gammenon. The Flaming Carrot overloaded his flaming abilities and exploded in the Celestial’s body, which caused Gammenon severe pain. As Gammenon clutched his body, Star Sapphire flew up to the Celestial and used her ring to create an immense violet light construct that crushed Gammenon’s head. Gammenon’s life force exploded from his body and the Celestial died.
Dr. Who, Dr. Seth Brundel, Ellie, Katie, Simone and Benjy confronted Oneg the Prober. Dr. Who used his electronic screwdriver to mold the armor into the Celestial. The Prober could not move and the BBFT team took advantage of this. Although he could not move properly, Oneg used his cosmic powers to speed the process of Seth Brundel’s transformation into Brundel-fly. Oneg’s probing mind then decided to use his cosmic powers on Ellie, Katie, Simone and Benjy. Like JoPaDaw, Oneg brought the Rama-mates together into a giant fly swatter. Oneg used ElKaSimBe to smash Brundel into an asteroid; both “fly” and “swatter” were killed at the impact. While the fight ensued, Dr. Who noticed a cosmic storm headed their way. While Oneg focused on Brundel and ElKaSimBe, Dr. Who used his screwdriver to “lure” the storm their way. When Oneg was finished with the others, it was too late to realize that he was being sucked into the storm. The two competing forces- storm and Oneg- managed to rip each other apart. Oneg was killed in the explosion.
Ziran the Tester faced The Heart of Gold with Ford Prefect, Zaphod Beeblebrox, Marvin the Paranoid Android and Trillian. Beeblebrox shot Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster into Ziran’s face. Ziran was momentarily stunned. The crew decided to take advantage of Ziran’s preoccupation and sacrifice themselves at the same time for the betterment of the team. Prefect and Trillian overloaded the Infinite Improbability Drive of the spaceship and deliberately crashed it into Ziran. The flux caused by the overload destroyed Ziran the Tester and The Heart of Gold crew.
Jemiah the Analyzer fought the Torchwood team - Capt. Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper, Toshiko Sato and Ianto Jones. Utilizing their advanced technology, the Torchwood gang managed to destabilize the area around Jemiah. Although the cosmic forces were swirling around this skirmish, the Analyzer still managed to use his powers to rip apart Sato and Jones. Before their deaths though, the two were able to harness some of the cosmic forces around their battle and transfer them to Harkness. Harkness used these forces, and with a Torchwood piece of equipment from the Nebulon Galaxy, augmented these forces within his body. Harkness lashed out at the Analyzer. Harkness’ and Jemiah’s bodies exploded due to the cosmic force overload. Gwen Cooper cried at her mentor’s and teammates’ deaths, but was happy to have defeated another “unbeatable” Celestial.
Jeff Houslander, Fantastic Max, FX and AB in a go-cart (fusion propelled) and Gigantor met Hargen the Measurer. Hargen immediately destroyed the go-cart and all of its riders in the blink of an eye. Meanwhile, Houslander controlled Gigantor with the robot’s remote. Houslander knew his way around the intricacies of a joystick and had an uncanny ability to focus on the weaknesses of his enemies. He used the giant robot to repeatedly pummel Hargen until his death. A cosmic explosion occurred and Hargen’s body drifted away. Houslander jerked the joystick and Gigantor’s reaction was to raise its arms in victory.
Tefral the Surveyor met new Blue Beetle, Keith Mars, Veronica Mars and Beta Ray Bill. Tefral decided that Veronica was like Helen of Troy and would drive her teammates to victory. Tefral shot a cosmic blast at Veronica Mars. Keith Mars and Weevil pushed Veronica out of the way and sacrificed themselves for the beauty. Blue Beetle used the magic of the scarab which magically injured Tefral. The final blow came from Beta Ray Bill’s Stormbreaker across Tefral’s head. The cosmic forces explode from Tefral’s body and the Celestial dies.
Arishem the Judge stood against Iron Fist, Cookies, Wilt and Mandalorians #6-10. Iron Fist harnessed his chi and tapped into the superhuman energy of Shou-Lao. Iron Fist’s blow injured Arishem. Although injured, Arishem blasted both Cookies and Wilt, who burned where they stood. Mandalorians #6-10 utilized all of their arm weapons upon the Judge. After they unloaded their arm weapons, they released their rockets from their jetpacks. The rockets exploded in Arishem’s face. In response to the damage caused by the Mandalorians, Arishem wiped away their existence. Unnoticed was Iron Fist who came upon the Judge, once again, and smashed him across the face. A cosmic explosion occurred and Arishem died.
One Celestial remained- Hargen the Measurer. Archie the Octo-Spider, Grapple and Moltar focused on the Measurer. Knowing that they needed to do something drastic, Moltar removed his arms from his suit and shot an intense field of lava across Hargen’s face. Hargen was distracted by the molten rock as Archie the Octo-Spider and Grapple floated to Hargen’s face. The combined abilities of the Octo-Spider’s legs and Grapple’s robotic strength crush Hargen’s neck. A cosmic explosion occurs and Hargen died.
While other teammates were fighting the Celestials, Han Solo and Chewbacca in a Snow Speeder dueled with the Phoenix and the G-Force crew. Although the Phoenix appeared to be better equipped, Solo’s and Chewie’s skills managed to fire and punch a huge hole in the Phoenix. The shot killed all of the crew except for Tiny, Jason and Princess. Believing the ship was going to eventually explode, Solo and Chewbacca decided to fly toward their teammates.
Monarch scanned the Celestial carnage around him. Being that Monarch was nearly indestructible, the BBFT team was hesitant. Notwithstanding, the fact that the Celestials were defeated gave the BBFT team the confidence it needed to defeat him. The entire remaining members of BBFT swarmed Monarch. Monarch immediately used a powerful energy projection to destroy Nom Anor. He then teleported next to the four Beatles. All of the Beatles, except for Ringo, were killed by the quantum field manipulation of Monarch. Moltar fully stepped out from his containment suit and focused the true force of his lava at Monarch. The lava actually managed to destroy a portion of Monarch’s armor. Grapple then came from behind and began to pummel Monarch. Monarch went down on his knees, but was not killed. While Monarch focused on the eventual destruction of Grapple (who was destroyed), lava was unleashed again by Moltar at Monarch. Seeing a weakness in Monarch, the full remaining BBFT force charged. Jeff Houslander, Gwen Cooper, Dr. Who, Power Man, Iron Fist, Archie the Octo-Spider, Steve McQueen, Veronica Mars, Star Sapphire, Moltar, Ringo, Mr. T, Grimace, Gigantor, Despotellis and Beta Ray Bill rushed at Monarch. Monarch managed to destroy Grimace and Blue Beetle. The repeated intensity of the pummeling and barraging of the BBFT team actually defeated Monarch. Monarch was destroyed, but before his death, he was able to kill Archie the Octo-Spider, Moltar and Power Man.
After Monarch’s death the battlefield became an echoing realm of cosmic forces. The deafening sounds nearly shattered my eardrums. The intermittent stuttering of light nearly blinded my eyes. I experienced sensory overload. The cosmic forces swirled through space, creating a fury that disjoined reality. Through the haze I saw the Phoenix screaming through space.
Jason: What’s happening?!?!
Princess: We don’t have time to figure it out now!
Tiny: Get us out of here!!!
Sheer horror is draped on the G-Force crew’s faces at the carnage surrounding them. The lifeless bodies of all Celestials, along with Monarch, drifted through space.
Through the obscurity I saw the various members of the Built (Bill) Ford Tough Team shouting in victory. A large explosion occurred, yet this time, I am able to watch what transpired.
The G-Force Phoenix was caught in the explosion and has itself exploded, killing all remaining crewmembers. As the Phoenix exploded, so too does the Snow Speeder, which was caught in the cosmic waves radiating from the explosion. Han Solo and Chewbacca were able to jettison from the fighter in time though and eventually join their teammates.
Only Eternity from the Horsemen remained alive. Eternity focused on the enemy. He noticed the Wookiee shouting at him, and in annoyance, threw him across space to an asteroid away from the rest of his teammates.
Solo: CHEWIE!!!!!
Chewbacca: Roooaargh!!! Rowwaaargg! [Translation: My friend, we have been on many adventures together. You and I have the luck of the Force. But I believe that our time together is coming to an end. No one lives forever. Not even the Celestials, as was seen by the prowess of our teammates today.]
Solo: No!!!! I can’t go on without you!!!!
Chewbacca: Uuuraaagh! Hooorraaahh!! [Translation: You can and you will. You will defeat Eternity and the Built (Bill) Ford Tough team will pull off one of the greatest upsets in FFL history! I am proud to have served with you.]
Solo (tears streaming down his face): May the Force be with you!!!!
Chewbacca: Graaagh! Rooargh! [Translation: Live long and prosper].
Chewbacca saw a shadow engulfing his body. He looked above and screamed in defiance as an entire planet dropped on his head. Chewbacca and the asteroid which he was on explode into a million pieces.
BBFT teammates used the death of Chewbacca as the final impetus in order to defeat the Horsemen. An epic battle ensued. Eternity was actually destroyed by the entire BBFT team working together, but with the entity’s death came the deaths of Dr. Who, Iron Fist, Star Sapphire, Gigantor, Despotellis and Beta Ray Bill.
The surviving members- Han Solo, Jeff Houslander, Gwen Cooper, Steve McQueen, Veronica Mars, Ringo and Mr. T. shouted in victory, having defeated the power team of the Horsemen. The cheers begin to die down as they see all of the Celestials rise. Hargen the Measurer, Tefral the Surveyor, Nezzar the Calculator, Gammenon the Gatherer, Arishem the Judge, Jemiah the Analyzer, Eson the Searcher, Oneg the Prober and Ziran the Tester form a circle around the Built (Bill) Ford Tough team. They speak for the first time in millennia.
Oneg: Built (Bill) Ford Tough, you have valiantly fought in today’s battle.
Ziran: You have honored your team’s namesake.
Nezzar: You have honored your teammates.
Tefral: You have honored your owner.
Hargen: But today’s match was more than a measure of honor. It was a measure of hope. Hope shown in another team whose odds were overwhelming.
Arishem: A team that pushed on to the end. . . a surprising and unexpected end.
Jemiah: But Now that we have studied man’s disposition regarding hope.
Gammenon: And now we must study man’s disposition regarding. . . hopelessness. . .
Scientifically speaking, the Celestials have completed their endeavor in this match. They have observed the hope which overwhelmed the BBFT team after each minor and major victory. As they stand, looking at the current faces of Han Solo, Jeff Houslander, Gwen Cooper, Steve McQueen, Veronica Mars, Ringo and Mr. T., they understand hopelessness. . . as in the blink of an eye the BBFT mortals are wiped from existence in the Rischey Mays.
Built (“Bill”) Ford Tough: All dead.
The Horsemen of Apokolips: Hargen the Measurer, Tefral the Surveyor, Nezzar the Calculator, Gammenon the Gatherer, Arishem the Judge, Jemiah the Analyzer, Eson the Searcher, Oneg the Prober and Ziran the Tester survive.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
TEAM Vs. Logical Genocide
TEAM is Ultraman, Mon El, Voltron, Galactiac, The Beyonder, Neo-Cymek #1-12, Guardian #1-4, & The Power Dasher Jet
Logical Genocide is Ion, Necron, Red Lantern #2, Neo-Cymek #18, Adam Strange, Starman, V (w/ Yellow Power Ring), Cybertronian Guardian #9 (Cuddles), Titan Force 5, Man hunter #1 & 2, Xenomorph #52, Magmar, Jedi Master #28, Moonstone, Iron Patriot, The Ray, Chris Seeney & Cannon Fodder Smurf (actually Smurf #10) in The Lex-Soar 7, Warwolf #7 & 9 (Sgt. Stabbins & Fumbles), Predator #48, Prometheus & Brett Favre in Superman’s Truck, Terminator #40, Triceraton #1, & Ewok #74
“You ready for this see-eff”! Chris Seeney says to Cannon Fodder Smurf who is sitting on the cutest little easy chair you have ever seen on the arm rest inside The Lex-Soar 7. The Smurf replies with: "You know I hate it when you call me that, and why are you so excited about fighting TEAM, they are probably going to waste us, you know that they have only lost a hand full of times right"? "They have lost more times than we have” Seeney says. “………….Wow, well I must hand it to you. That is an amazingly optimistic may to look at the situation we are about to fly in to, but you do realize that A: They have never lost in space. 2: They are former Universe Bowl Champions. and D: Last time I checked, they have won n a few more times than we have as well". The snide little smurf says. Seeney comes back with: "But Duuude, come on! That's not the right attitude. You've got to get psyched. This is TEAM we're talking about. We're gonna get to fight Superman & Unicorn, this is gonna rule"! His smurf companion says: "Okay, for the trillionth time, it's Unicron, not Unicorn, and plus, you're probably wrong, because I hear that Supes is riding the pine all year". An overly excited Seeney retorts: "Sheah right! Your Mom is ridin the pine. No way TEAM is gonna dog us like that. With the space power we're perpetrating in this mug, we're gonna see all the stars. Personally I can't wait to see how the Thor Corps looks after we use our Logical Genocide to reconstruct their Asgardian faces". As the 2 teams approach one another, Seeney presses the com button and says to the Logical Genocide troops: "Okay everybody, lets set 2-7-1. This is the real deal, everybody follow on my mark. Let's go with attack pattern Delta, I see 3 marks at 2-10. I'm already on my way out. This is Commodore Seeney saying good luck and FOR SPARTA"! Cannon Fodder thinks to himself "thank God Coach Geoff Johns turned off the comlink in The Lex-Soar 7, so we will at least get blown up by the opposing team instead of our own". The smurf is able to keep this to himself, but he has to say something: "Way to just commission yourself a military rank there "Commodore"". "That's what us officers do See-eff, when you are a take charge kind of guy like I am, you do what needs to be done. At times like this there is no thinking involved, the training kicks in and instinct takes over". says Chris. "Well, I agree with the no thinking part anyway". says Cannon. Cannon Fodder Smurf begins to say something of actual relevance, but Seeney interrupts him with: "OH HELLS YEAH! There he is: Unicorn"! Seeney then presses the comlink again and says: "I have Unicorn in my sights. I'm going in, this punk is about to go down like a prom date! Commodore Seeney out". Cannon says: "Uhhhh Chris, that isn't Unicron, it's Voltron and you're going the WRONG WAY"! Chris replies: "Give me a break See-eff, I hit the wrong button. Jeez! Cry me a river why don't ya. I'm turning back around just hold your horses; or caterpillars or whatever it is you Smurfs ride on............ Hah, ridin caterpillars, that funny". Cannon Fodder Smurf says: "You're an idiot..... And while we're on the subject, who the hell taught you how to fly this thing anyway? Papa Smurf"? While The Lex-Soar 7 and it's riveting conversationalists turn around they witness Voltron put his massive hands together and form its sword. Voltron is swarmed by enemies, but the Far Universe combatant is right at home with his surroundings, and has no problem wiping out Red Lantern #2, Adam Strange, & the charge's leader Iron Patriot before locking in battle with Titan Maximum. The Power Dasher Jet and Magmar are about to begin battling, but before they do, they banter about who is the more useful character......... They both then die of boredom. The Neo-Cymek’s are programmed to attack as a unit when possible, which is why Neo-Cymek #18 is pretty easily overwhelmed and destroyed by his former TEAMmates. The Neo-Cymeks then go on to destroy both Warwolves with their overwhelming firepower. The 2 Manhunters manage to take out Neo-Cymeks #1 & 8 but they eventually succumb to the power of the human-brain powered machines as well. Cuddles the Cybertronian Guardian on the other hand does a little bit better against his own kind. The Guardian is able to take out Cybertronian Guardian #3 with a double fisted blow to the back of the neck before the other 3 guardians overwhelm him. Once Cannon Fodder finally convinces Chris that Voltron is not Unicron Seeney spins the Lex-Soar 7 around and continues his search for the best of the best that TEAM has to offer, so he can go “put a hurtin on em” as he so eloquently put it. They fly up to a battle that is already in progress and he shouts: “See, See-eff there he is, The Universe Bowl MVP himself: Superman. And we’re just in time to help out Necron & Ion in their fight against him”. Cannon Fodder replies: “Come on Seeney, that is not Superman, that is Ultra Man, don’t act like a nerd of your caliber can’t tell the difference”. “NO WAY, that is...... Oh wait, you’re right, that is Ultra Man. Well, in that case, I am sure Ion & Necron can handle him. Let’s go find Unicorn”. “Ya know, for once I agree, that Necron guy kinda gives me the creeps anyway”. Says Cannon. Prometheus comes over the Lex-Soar 7’s comlink (it is only deactivated for outgoing messages) and says: “Hey Seeney, quit screwin around and get behind us. We need a wing man for our attack run”. “Uh oh, he’s in trouble, he forgot to call you Commodore”. Cannon says sarcastically. Prometheus & Brett Favre (w/ Ewok #74 riding slingshot) race thru the Richey Mays with Terminator #40, Predator #48, & Triceraton #1 all chillin in the bed of Superman’s truck. The 2 space-worthy kids toys approach Galactiac, who has already defeated Moonstone and The Ray with his amazing intellect and cosmic powers. As the 2 vehicles get close enough to attack. Seeney turns to Cannon and says: “Alright baby, the moment we have all been waiting for: Unicorn”. “This is Galactiac, “Commodore sir“. Not Unicron. Now maybe we could focus on the fight before we get annihilated”. Says Cannon. Prometheus comes back over the com: “Alright Seeney, let’s do this. On my mark open fire. I’m gonna go low and you“..... (Signal is lost). “Whoa! Holy crap, Unicorn just wasted Superman’s truck”. Says Seeney. “It’s not Uni....“. the smurf starts, but is interrupted by Seeney: “Yeah yeah, I know, Galactiwack or whatever his name is. Brett Favre and the rest of the guys in the cab of the truck are granted an early retirement, while the 3 from the bed of the truck jump out and attack Galactiac. Galactiac throws the Triceraton at the Lex-Soar 7 which sends it off course, but the ship rights itself while Galactiac is finishing off The Predator and The Terminator. Seeney turns to Cannon and says: “That was to close” in his best Billie D. Williams voice and then adds: “I’m glad we made it out of that alive. Now let’s go find Unicorn for real”. Mon El lands on very small asteroid, that is being inhabited by Jedi Master #28 & Xenomorph #52. Mon El rips the Xenomorph’s head off which not only kills the alien but also sprays acid all over the Jedi, destroying his space suit and killing him in the process. V and Starman show up to lend a hand against Ultraman, creating quite a motley crew of color spectrums, but they manage to put aside their differences to combine against their common enemy. Ultraman heat visions Starman to death, but Necron, Ion, & V all combine their powers against the earth 3 Superman. Ultraman uses his super-strength (maybe I should say ultra strength) to viciously rip the head off of Necron, but not before he has already expelled his power which combines with Ion and V’s power rings to overwhelm Ultraman and cause him to completely implode. Ion and V are now preparing a final offensive when they radio Chris Seeney and Cannon Fodder and tell them to rendezvous for a final attack on Galactiac. While they are doing this, Voltron uses his massive sword to finally finish off Titan Maximum. The cosmic power that the Far Universe Voltron sends thru Titan Maximum is enough to destroy all 5 members of The Titan Force. Ion and V go racing thru the solar system, and each take out a Cybertronian Guardian with a massive blast of energy before they approach Galactiac. Seeney and Fodder fly around and witness both Ion and V empty their powers into Galactiac. The massive Galactus/Brainiac Amalgam swings his powerful fist at V which breaks thru his yellow energy barrier to kill him, but Ion keeps blasting Galactiac with green energy until the being is completely destroyed. The Beyonder finally makes his first appearance in the match, which prompts Cannon to say to Seeney: “Okay, before you say something ingenious again, that isn’t Unicron either”. “I know that, I’ve read enough comics to know that that is The Stranger, or is the In-betweener. It definitely isn’t Ego, but it might be The Champion of the Universe. Actually, I admit it, I’m a comic geek and all these cosmic beings just run together in my mind”. Says Seeney. The Beyonder waves his finger (or whatever he does) and sends the Lex-Soar 7 completely off course. Seeney loses whatever control of the vehicle he may have had and the ship spins away into the distance. Ion, the Season 3 #1 overall pick has put on quite a show today, but once he is surrounded by The Beyonder, Mon El, & Voltron he then notices that the remaining Neo-Cymeks are approaching as well. Ion knows that he cannot take on what remains of TEAM and uses the rest of his power to go out with a bang and sacrifice himself against The Beyonder, so he can take the cosmic powered being out with him. As Seeney and Cannon Fodder go spinning into the distance they realize that they are on a collision course with the last remaining Cybertronian Guardian. Cannon looks at Chris and says: “Well at least we are actually going to be credited for a kill in this match”. Right before the collision Seeney shoots a puzzled glance at the smurf and says “ya know See-eff, I don’t think Unicorn was even in this match”.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!
Logical Genocide is Ion, Necron, Red Lantern #2, Neo-Cymek #18, Adam Strange, Starman, V (w/ Yellow Power Ring), Cybertronian Guardian #9 (Cuddles), Titan Force 5, Man hunter #1 & 2, Xenomorph #52, Magmar, Jedi Master #28, Moonstone, Iron Patriot, The Ray, Chris Seeney & Cannon Fodder Smurf (actually Smurf #10) in The Lex-Soar 7, Warwolf #7 & 9 (Sgt. Stabbins & Fumbles), Predator #48, Prometheus & Brett Favre in Superman’s Truck, Terminator #40, Triceraton #1, & Ewok #74
“You ready for this see-eff”! Chris Seeney says to Cannon Fodder Smurf who is sitting on the cutest little easy chair you have ever seen on the arm rest inside The Lex-Soar 7. The Smurf replies with: "You know I hate it when you call me that, and why are you so excited about fighting TEAM, they are probably going to waste us, you know that they have only lost a hand full of times right"? "They have lost more times than we have” Seeney says. “………….Wow, well I must hand it to you. That is an amazingly optimistic may to look at the situation we are about to fly in to, but you do realize that A: They have never lost in space. 2: They are former Universe Bowl Champions. and D: Last time I checked, they have won n a few more times than we have as well". The snide little smurf says. Seeney comes back with: "But Duuude, come on! That's not the right attitude. You've got to get psyched. This is TEAM we're talking about. We're gonna get to fight Superman & Unicorn, this is gonna rule"! His smurf companion says: "Okay, for the trillionth time, it's Unicron, not Unicorn, and plus, you're probably wrong, because I hear that Supes is riding the pine all year". An overly excited Seeney retorts: "Sheah right! Your Mom is ridin the pine. No way TEAM is gonna dog us like that. With the space power we're perpetrating in this mug, we're gonna see all the stars. Personally I can't wait to see how the Thor Corps looks after we use our Logical Genocide to reconstruct their Asgardian faces". As the 2 teams approach one another, Seeney presses the com button and says to the Logical Genocide troops: "Okay everybody, lets set 2-7-1. This is the real deal, everybody follow on my mark. Let's go with attack pattern Delta, I see 3 marks at 2-10. I'm already on my way out. This is Commodore Seeney saying good luck and FOR SPARTA"! Cannon Fodder thinks to himself "thank God Coach Geoff Johns turned off the comlink in The Lex-Soar 7, so we will at least get blown up by the opposing team instead of our own". The smurf is able to keep this to himself, but he has to say something: "Way to just commission yourself a military rank there "Commodore"". "That's what us officers do See-eff, when you are a take charge kind of guy like I am, you do what needs to be done. At times like this there is no thinking involved, the training kicks in and instinct takes over". says Chris. "Well, I agree with the no thinking part anyway". says Cannon. Cannon Fodder Smurf begins to say something of actual relevance, but Seeney interrupts him with: "OH HELLS YEAH! There he is: Unicorn"! Seeney then presses the comlink again and says: "I have Unicorn in my sights. I'm going in, this punk is about to go down like a prom date! Commodore Seeney out". Cannon says: "Uhhhh Chris, that isn't Unicron, it's Voltron and you're going the WRONG WAY"! Chris replies: "Give me a break See-eff, I hit the wrong button. Jeez! Cry me a river why don't ya. I'm turning back around just hold your horses; or caterpillars or whatever it is you Smurfs ride on............ Hah, ridin caterpillars, that funny". Cannon Fodder Smurf says: "You're an idiot..... And while we're on the subject, who the hell taught you how to fly this thing anyway? Papa Smurf"? While The Lex-Soar 7 and it's riveting conversationalists turn around they witness Voltron put his massive hands together and form its sword. Voltron is swarmed by enemies, but the Far Universe combatant is right at home with his surroundings, and has no problem wiping out Red Lantern #2, Adam Strange, & the charge's leader Iron Patriot before locking in battle with Titan Maximum. The Power Dasher Jet and Magmar are about to begin battling, but before they do, they banter about who is the more useful character......... They both then die of boredom. The Neo-Cymek’s are programmed to attack as a unit when possible, which is why Neo-Cymek #18 is pretty easily overwhelmed and destroyed by his former TEAMmates. The Neo-Cymeks then go on to destroy both Warwolves with their overwhelming firepower. The 2 Manhunters manage to take out Neo-Cymeks #1 & 8 but they eventually succumb to the power of the human-brain powered machines as well. Cuddles the Cybertronian Guardian on the other hand does a little bit better against his own kind. The Guardian is able to take out Cybertronian Guardian #3 with a double fisted blow to the back of the neck before the other 3 guardians overwhelm him. Once Cannon Fodder finally convinces Chris that Voltron is not Unicron Seeney spins the Lex-Soar 7 around and continues his search for the best of the best that TEAM has to offer, so he can go “put a hurtin on em” as he so eloquently put it. They fly up to a battle that is already in progress and he shouts: “See, See-eff there he is, The Universe Bowl MVP himself: Superman. And we’re just in time to help out Necron & Ion in their fight against him”. Cannon Fodder replies: “Come on Seeney, that is not Superman, that is Ultra Man, don’t act like a nerd of your caliber can’t tell the difference”. “NO WAY, that is...... Oh wait, you’re right, that is Ultra Man. Well, in that case, I am sure Ion & Necron can handle him. Let’s go find Unicorn”. “Ya know, for once I agree, that Necron guy kinda gives me the creeps anyway”. Says Cannon. Prometheus comes over the Lex-Soar 7’s comlink (it is only deactivated for outgoing messages) and says: “Hey Seeney, quit screwin around and get behind us. We need a wing man for our attack run”. “Uh oh, he’s in trouble, he forgot to call you Commodore”. Cannon says sarcastically. Prometheus & Brett Favre (w/ Ewok #74 riding slingshot) race thru the Richey Mays with Terminator #40, Predator #48, & Triceraton #1 all chillin in the bed of Superman’s truck. The 2 space-worthy kids toys approach Galactiac, who has already defeated Moonstone and The Ray with his amazing intellect and cosmic powers. As the 2 vehicles get close enough to attack. Seeney turns to Cannon and says: “Alright baby, the moment we have all been waiting for: Unicorn”. “This is Galactiac, “Commodore sir“. Not Unicron. Now maybe we could focus on the fight before we get annihilated”. Says Cannon. Prometheus comes back over the com: “Alright Seeney, let’s do this. On my mark open fire. I’m gonna go low and you“..... (Signal is lost). “Whoa! Holy crap, Unicorn just wasted Superman’s truck”. Says Seeney. “It’s not Uni....“. the smurf starts, but is interrupted by Seeney: “Yeah yeah, I know, Galactiwack or whatever his name is. Brett Favre and the rest of the guys in the cab of the truck are granted an early retirement, while the 3 from the bed of the truck jump out and attack Galactiac. Galactiac throws the Triceraton at the Lex-Soar 7 which sends it off course, but the ship rights itself while Galactiac is finishing off The Predator and The Terminator. Seeney turns to Cannon and says: “That was to close” in his best Billie D. Williams voice and then adds: “I’m glad we made it out of that alive. Now let’s go find Unicorn for real”. Mon El lands on very small asteroid, that is being inhabited by Jedi Master #28 & Xenomorph #52. Mon El rips the Xenomorph’s head off which not only kills the alien but also sprays acid all over the Jedi, destroying his space suit and killing him in the process. V and Starman show up to lend a hand against Ultraman, creating quite a motley crew of color spectrums, but they manage to put aside their differences to combine against their common enemy. Ultraman heat visions Starman to death, but Necron, Ion, & V all combine their powers against the earth 3 Superman. Ultraman uses his super-strength (maybe I should say ultra strength) to viciously rip the head off of Necron, but not before he has already expelled his power which combines with Ion and V’s power rings to overwhelm Ultraman and cause him to completely implode. Ion and V are now preparing a final offensive when they radio Chris Seeney and Cannon Fodder and tell them to rendezvous for a final attack on Galactiac. While they are doing this, Voltron uses his massive sword to finally finish off Titan Maximum. The cosmic power that the Far Universe Voltron sends thru Titan Maximum is enough to destroy all 5 members of The Titan Force. Ion and V go racing thru the solar system, and each take out a Cybertronian Guardian with a massive blast of energy before they approach Galactiac. Seeney and Fodder fly around and witness both Ion and V empty their powers into Galactiac. The massive Galactus/Brainiac Amalgam swings his powerful fist at V which breaks thru his yellow energy barrier to kill him, but Ion keeps blasting Galactiac with green energy until the being is completely destroyed. The Beyonder finally makes his first appearance in the match, which prompts Cannon to say to Seeney: “Okay, before you say something ingenious again, that isn’t Unicron either”. “I know that, I’ve read enough comics to know that that is The Stranger, or is the In-betweener. It definitely isn’t Ego, but it might be The Champion of the Universe. Actually, I admit it, I’m a comic geek and all these cosmic beings just run together in my mind”. Says Seeney. The Beyonder waves his finger (or whatever he does) and sends the Lex-Soar 7 completely off course. Seeney loses whatever control of the vehicle he may have had and the ship spins away into the distance. Ion, the Season 3 #1 overall pick has put on quite a show today, but once he is surrounded by The Beyonder, Mon El, & Voltron he then notices that the remaining Neo-Cymeks are approaching as well. Ion knows that he cannot take on what remains of TEAM and uses the rest of his power to go out with a bang and sacrifice himself against The Beyonder, so he can take the cosmic powered being out with him. As Seeney and Cannon Fodder go spinning into the distance they realize that they are on a collision course with the last remaining Cybertronian Guardian. Cannon looks at Chris and says: “Well at least we are actually going to be credited for a kill in this match”. Right before the collision Seeney shoots a puzzled glance at the smurf and says “ya know See-eff, I don’t think Unicorn was even in this match”.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!
Friday, March 26, 2010
The Transfoamers vs. Haley's Comets
"Life, for ever dying to be born afresh, for ever young and eager, will presently stand upon this earth as upon a footstool, and stretch out its realm amidst the stars."
―H.G. Wells
I look at the teams to do battle in the Rischey Mays during this Week 4 Match. They are as follows:
The Transfoamers: Transformers #1-8, Major William Lennox, Chief Master Sgt. Robert Epps, ACWO Jorge Figueroa, First Sgt. Donnelly, (movie) Mudflap, (movie) Skids, (movie) Sideswipe, (movie) Iron Hide, Autobots #1-5, Metallica: James Hetfield (w/ Darth Bane's old lightsaber), Lars Ulrich (w/ a Halberd), Kirk Hammet (w/ an Atlas), Jason Newsted (w/ a Heat Axe), Ghosts #1 and 2, Darth Rage (w/ a yellow power ring) and Sith Lord #16.
Hayley's Comets: Terminator #38, Xenomorph #54, Hordak (w/ a yellow power ring), The Justice Force: The Silver Sentry, Ananda, Metal Head, Chrysalis, Tsunami, Nobody, Raptarr, Nano, Green Mantle and Boomerang, Ash (w/ Mandalorian Armor), Grotle, Wartortle, Infernape, Dialga, Palkia, Rayquazza, Regirock, Empoleon, Prinplup, Piplup, Charmeleon, Mew, Mewtwo, Blastois, Jiggly Puff, Wiggly Tuff, Diglet, Drago, The Defenders of the Earth: Flash Gordon, The Phantom, Mandrake the Magician, Lothar, Lothar Jr., Rick Gordon, Jedda Walker, Kshin and Zuffy, Neo-Cymek #19, Predator #50, Cybertronian Guardian #8, 8-Ball, 6-Ball, 9-Ball and 11-Ball in 8-Ball's ship, Cable in a B-Wing, Junkeons #15 and 16, Dementors #6 and 9, Halk Kar, Omac, Trigon, Zombie Arisia, Ewok #76 and Doozer #3.
Let the battle begin. . .
8-Ball, 6-Ball, 9-Ball and 11-Ball wear specialized spacesuits designed by the evil genius. They utilize 8-Ball's hovercraft which has also been equipped with an additional element to propel space’s airless environment. As they travel, they see space-suited Major William Lennox, Chief Master Sgt. Robert Epps, ACWO Jorge Figueroa and First Sgt. Donnelly approaching. The 8-Ball crew use their amplified cue sticks to blow the Transformer military members off course. Lennox, Epps, Figueroa and Donnelly miss their opportunity to board the hovercraft and twist away. The 8-Ball crew smile at their success of repelling the elite military force; it is short lived. Darth Rage uses his yellow power ring to snatch his teammates and shoot them back at the 8-Ball team. The 8-Ball crew is taken off guard as the Transfoamers board the craft. Lennox uses his advanced weaponry to kill 8-Ball; Epps kills 6-Ball; Figueroa kills 9-Ball and Donnelly kills 11-Ball. The Transfoamer members fly away with the 8-Ball hovercraft.
Hordak watches the scene and launches his teammates (who he has carried with his yellow ring) at the stolen 8-Ball hovercraft. Terminator #38, Xenomorph #54, Predator #50, Ewok #76 and Doozer #3 land on the craft. The Terminator is immediately riddled with Lennox’s bullets. Although its skin is falling off its metallic body, it is more than a match for Lennox who is eventually killed by a well placed bullet between the trooper’s eyes. Xenomorph #54 jumps on Epps. Acid drips from its mouth and burns Epps face. Epps’ screams are short lived as the Xenomorph’s double jaw strikes and kills the soldier. Across the hovercraft, Predator #50 shoots Figueroa in the chest with his shoulder cannon. The Predator pounces upon Figueroa and rips his skull and spine from his body. Donnelly is faring a little better as he fights Ewok #76 and Doozer #3. Donnelly manages to kill both furry foes. Seeing that he is outnumbered by the other team on the craft, he jumps into open space. He is met by the laser fire of Cable in his B-Wing. The B-Wing screams by, leaving Donnelly’s body a burnt husk. As Cable turns his ship he is met by Transformers #3-5. The Transformers unload their weapons upon the ship and Cable and his B-Wing explode.
Above the fighting, Hordak flies in a circle, pondering his next action. He is struck from behind by a yellow projectile and is knocked about, spinning through space. It is Darth Rage, who is using his own yellow power ring, as a weapon. At the same time, the ring is providing a protective aura for both himself and Sith Lord #16. With Hordak out of the way, Darth Rage and Sith Lord #16 land on the hovercraft. Although it takes some effort, the darksiders manage to stab, skewer, slice, batter and kill Terminator #38, Xenomorph #54 and Predator #50.
The Defenders of the Earth: Flash Gordon, The Phantom, Mandrake the Magician, Lothar, Lothar Jr., Rick Gordon, Jedda Walker, Kshin and Zuffy are traveling on a piece of floating space jetsam toward the battle. Ghosts #1 and 2 take advantage of the fact that they do not need air. They attack the Defenders. Ghost #1 manages to throw both Rick Gordon and Kshin off the jetsam piece. Ghost #2 pushes Jedda Walker off. The Ghosts then come together and rip the gear off the heroes. Rick Gordon, Kshin and Jedda Walker suffocate in the airless vacuum. Flash Gordon, The Phantom, Mandrake the Magician, Lothar and Zuffy are about to combine forces and attack the Ghosts. Before they get the chance, Dementors #6 and 9 rip their spectral brethren apart. Ghost #1 and 2 fade away. The Defenders and Dementors see (movie) Mudflap, (movie) Skids, (movie) Sideswipe and (movie) Iron Hide come crashing down on the jetsam. The Dementors are unable to affect the giant robots. Although the Defenders manage to destroy Skids, the remaining Transformers mutilate the Comet members, leaving only carnage behind.
Zombie Arisia uses her green power ring to carry Ash (with his newly adorned Mandalorian armor), along with all of his Pokemon (and Pokemon rip-off) friends. Approximately three leagues away, Arisia sees Autobots #1-5. Except for Autobot #2, each Autobot carries a member of Metallica (wearing protective space gear). James Hetfield (w/ Darth Bane's old lightsaber) rides on Autobot #1; Lars Ulrich (w/ a Halberd) on Autobot #3, Kirk Hammet (w/ an Atlas) on Autobot #4 and Jason Newsted (w/ a Heat Axe) on Autobot #5. Arisia releases the Pokemon characters from their protective shield and Grotle, Wartortle, Infernape, Dialga, Palkia, Rayquazza, Regirock, Empoleon, Prinplup, Piplup, Charmeleon, Mew, Mewtwo, Blastois, Jiggly Puff, Wiggly Tuff, Diglett and Drago engulf the Autobots and their riders. Before the full blown battle ensues, Metallica can be heard-
Hetfield: End of passion play, crumbling away
Ulrich: I’m your source of self-destruction
Hammet: Veins that pump with fear, sucking dark is clear
Newsted: Leading on your deaths’ construction. . .
The slow and gentle Grotle is killed by Newsted’s Heat Axe, as is Piplup. Empoleon and Prinplup gang up on Newsted, but Newsted is saved by Hetfield’s lightsaber, which slices both in half. Hammet with his Atlas manages to take out Jiggly Puff and Wiggly Tuff. Ulrich with the Halbeard destroys Diglett and Blastois. While the Metallica band mates destroy the Pokemon characters, their Autobots assist them in their task of total Pokemon annihilation. Autobot #2 destroys Palkia and Pokemon rip-off Drago. Autobot #1 kills Regirock. Autobot #3 kills Rayquazza. Autobot #4 kills Charmeleon. Autobot #5 kills Infernape. Just before the team can destroy the remaining characters, Ash soars in with his Mandalorian armor and shoots a missile which explodes and kills Newsted. The remaining Metallica-mates look at Ash, Wartortle, Dialga, Mew and Mewtwo.
Hetfield: Shouting gun.
Ulrich: On they run.
Hammet: Through the endless grey
They combine forces with the Autobots and destroy Ash, Wartortle, Dialga, Mew and Mewtwo.
The yellow ring bearers are in a bitter fight, once again. The two are evenly matched. Darth Rage uses his lightsaber to deflect the blasts from Hordak’s hands. Darth Rage eventually manages to get the upper hand and mortally wounds Hordak with a slash across Hordak’s chest. Sith Lord #16 rushes at Hordak and slices him in two. The two Sith Lords focus on the Dementors which are flying in the area. Together, they use their dark side abilities and force lightning to destroy Dementors #6 and 9.
Metallica has jumped on a small asteroid. They see the Justice Force flying their way.
Hetfield: So be it
Ulrich: Threaten no more
Hammet: To secure peace is to prepare for war
The Justice Force meets Metallica. Although Metallica is ripped apart from all sides, they actually manage to kill Boomerang and Nobody. The remaining Justice Force searches for their next fight. They are met by Darth Rage and Sith Lord #16. Sith Lord #16 manages to slice apart Nano. Chrysalis attempts to send a ray from her forehead, but it is easily blocked by Sith Lord #16. Darth Rage takes advantage of this fact and slices through Chrysalis. The Silver Sentry flies away, attempting to obtain help against the Sith. The two Transfoamer force wielders manage to kill Ananda, Metal Head, Tsunami, Raptarr and the Green Mantle, but the fight has taken its toll on the darksiders. As they are utilizing the force to replenish their energy, they are struck from behind by Silver Sentry and Zombie Arisia. Already in a weakened state, they are no match for the two and eventually Sentry and Arisia get the better of the fighters. Sith Lord #16 and Darth Rage are killed.
Cybertronian Guardian #8, Neo-Cymek #19, Junkeons #15 and 16 come to the scene to face Autobots #1-5 now that their Metallica-mates are no longer alive. The battle between the immense robots is spectacular. In the end, pieces and scraps litter the space way. Standing is Neo-Cymek #19 and a battle scarred Cybertronian Guardian #8. All Autobots #1-5, as well as Junkeons #15 and 16, are destroyed. Tranformers #1-8, as well as (movie) Mudflap, (movie) Sideswipe and (movie) Iron Hide enter the robotic fray. Transformer #3 and 6 are lost immediately. But the remaining Transfoamer members destroy both Neo-Cymek #19 and Cybertronian Guardian #8.
Halk Kar, Omac and Trigon face off against the remaining robots. They are soon joined by teammates Silver Sentry and Zombie Arisia. Halk Kar destroys Mudflap and Sideswipe. Silver Sentry destroys Iron Hide. The remaining Transformers #1-2, 4-5, 7-8 are picked apart and destroyed by the remaining Comet crew. Notwithstanding, winning has its price as the Comets lost Omac, Silver Sentry and Zombie Arisia in the final battle.
The Transfoamers: All dead.
Haley’s Comets: Halk Kar and Trigon survive.
HALEY’S COMETS IS VICTORIOUS!!!
―H.G. Wells
I look at the teams to do battle in the Rischey Mays during this Week 4 Match. They are as follows:
The Transfoamers: Transformers #1-8, Major William Lennox, Chief Master Sgt. Robert Epps, ACWO Jorge Figueroa, First Sgt. Donnelly, (movie) Mudflap, (movie) Skids, (movie) Sideswipe, (movie) Iron Hide, Autobots #1-5, Metallica: James Hetfield (w/ Darth Bane's old lightsaber), Lars Ulrich (w/ a Halberd), Kirk Hammet (w/ an Atlas), Jason Newsted (w/ a Heat Axe), Ghosts #1 and 2, Darth Rage (w/ a yellow power ring) and Sith Lord #16.
Hayley's Comets: Terminator #38, Xenomorph #54, Hordak (w/ a yellow power ring), The Justice Force: The Silver Sentry, Ananda, Metal Head, Chrysalis, Tsunami, Nobody, Raptarr, Nano, Green Mantle and Boomerang, Ash (w/ Mandalorian Armor), Grotle, Wartortle, Infernape, Dialga, Palkia, Rayquazza, Regirock, Empoleon, Prinplup, Piplup, Charmeleon, Mew, Mewtwo, Blastois, Jiggly Puff, Wiggly Tuff, Diglet, Drago, The Defenders of the Earth: Flash Gordon, The Phantom, Mandrake the Magician, Lothar, Lothar Jr., Rick Gordon, Jedda Walker, Kshin and Zuffy, Neo-Cymek #19, Predator #50, Cybertronian Guardian #8, 8-Ball, 6-Ball, 9-Ball and 11-Ball in 8-Ball's ship, Cable in a B-Wing, Junkeons #15 and 16, Dementors #6 and 9, Halk Kar, Omac, Trigon, Zombie Arisia, Ewok #76 and Doozer #3.
Let the battle begin. . .
8-Ball, 6-Ball, 9-Ball and 11-Ball wear specialized spacesuits designed by the evil genius. They utilize 8-Ball's hovercraft which has also been equipped with an additional element to propel space’s airless environment. As they travel, they see space-suited Major William Lennox, Chief Master Sgt. Robert Epps, ACWO Jorge Figueroa and First Sgt. Donnelly approaching. The 8-Ball crew use their amplified cue sticks to blow the Transformer military members off course. Lennox, Epps, Figueroa and Donnelly miss their opportunity to board the hovercraft and twist away. The 8-Ball crew smile at their success of repelling the elite military force; it is short lived. Darth Rage uses his yellow power ring to snatch his teammates and shoot them back at the 8-Ball team. The 8-Ball crew is taken off guard as the Transfoamers board the craft. Lennox uses his advanced weaponry to kill 8-Ball; Epps kills 6-Ball; Figueroa kills 9-Ball and Donnelly kills 11-Ball. The Transfoamer members fly away with the 8-Ball hovercraft.
Hordak watches the scene and launches his teammates (who he has carried with his yellow ring) at the stolen 8-Ball hovercraft. Terminator #38, Xenomorph #54, Predator #50, Ewok #76 and Doozer #3 land on the craft. The Terminator is immediately riddled with Lennox’s bullets. Although its skin is falling off its metallic body, it is more than a match for Lennox who is eventually killed by a well placed bullet between the trooper’s eyes. Xenomorph #54 jumps on Epps. Acid drips from its mouth and burns Epps face. Epps’ screams are short lived as the Xenomorph’s double jaw strikes and kills the soldier. Across the hovercraft, Predator #50 shoots Figueroa in the chest with his shoulder cannon. The Predator pounces upon Figueroa and rips his skull and spine from his body. Donnelly is faring a little better as he fights Ewok #76 and Doozer #3. Donnelly manages to kill both furry foes. Seeing that he is outnumbered by the other team on the craft, he jumps into open space. He is met by the laser fire of Cable in his B-Wing. The B-Wing screams by, leaving Donnelly’s body a burnt husk. As Cable turns his ship he is met by Transformers #3-5. The Transformers unload their weapons upon the ship and Cable and his B-Wing explode.
Above the fighting, Hordak flies in a circle, pondering his next action. He is struck from behind by a yellow projectile and is knocked about, spinning through space. It is Darth Rage, who is using his own yellow power ring, as a weapon. At the same time, the ring is providing a protective aura for both himself and Sith Lord #16. With Hordak out of the way, Darth Rage and Sith Lord #16 land on the hovercraft. Although it takes some effort, the darksiders manage to stab, skewer, slice, batter and kill Terminator #38, Xenomorph #54 and Predator #50.
The Defenders of the Earth: Flash Gordon, The Phantom, Mandrake the Magician, Lothar, Lothar Jr., Rick Gordon, Jedda Walker, Kshin and Zuffy are traveling on a piece of floating space jetsam toward the battle. Ghosts #1 and 2 take advantage of the fact that they do not need air. They attack the Defenders. Ghost #1 manages to throw both Rick Gordon and Kshin off the jetsam piece. Ghost #2 pushes Jedda Walker off. The Ghosts then come together and rip the gear off the heroes. Rick Gordon, Kshin and Jedda Walker suffocate in the airless vacuum. Flash Gordon, The Phantom, Mandrake the Magician, Lothar and Zuffy are about to combine forces and attack the Ghosts. Before they get the chance, Dementors #6 and 9 rip their spectral brethren apart. Ghost #1 and 2 fade away. The Defenders and Dementors see (movie) Mudflap, (movie) Skids, (movie) Sideswipe and (movie) Iron Hide come crashing down on the jetsam. The Dementors are unable to affect the giant robots. Although the Defenders manage to destroy Skids, the remaining Transformers mutilate the Comet members, leaving only carnage behind.
Zombie Arisia uses her green power ring to carry Ash (with his newly adorned Mandalorian armor), along with all of his Pokemon (and Pokemon rip-off) friends. Approximately three leagues away, Arisia sees Autobots #1-5. Except for Autobot #2, each Autobot carries a member of Metallica (wearing protective space gear). James Hetfield (w/ Darth Bane's old lightsaber) rides on Autobot #1; Lars Ulrich (w/ a Halberd) on Autobot #3, Kirk Hammet (w/ an Atlas) on Autobot #4 and Jason Newsted (w/ a Heat Axe) on Autobot #5. Arisia releases the Pokemon characters from their protective shield and Grotle, Wartortle, Infernape, Dialga, Palkia, Rayquazza, Regirock, Empoleon, Prinplup, Piplup, Charmeleon, Mew, Mewtwo, Blastois, Jiggly Puff, Wiggly Tuff, Diglett and Drago engulf the Autobots and their riders. Before the full blown battle ensues, Metallica can be heard-
Hetfield: End of passion play, crumbling away
Ulrich: I’m your source of self-destruction
Hammet: Veins that pump with fear, sucking dark is clear
Newsted: Leading on your deaths’ construction. . .
The slow and gentle Grotle is killed by Newsted’s Heat Axe, as is Piplup. Empoleon and Prinplup gang up on Newsted, but Newsted is saved by Hetfield’s lightsaber, which slices both in half. Hammet with his Atlas manages to take out Jiggly Puff and Wiggly Tuff. Ulrich with the Halbeard destroys Diglett and Blastois. While the Metallica band mates destroy the Pokemon characters, their Autobots assist them in their task of total Pokemon annihilation. Autobot #2 destroys Palkia and Pokemon rip-off Drago. Autobot #1 kills Regirock. Autobot #3 kills Rayquazza. Autobot #4 kills Charmeleon. Autobot #5 kills Infernape. Just before the team can destroy the remaining characters, Ash soars in with his Mandalorian armor and shoots a missile which explodes and kills Newsted. The remaining Metallica-mates look at Ash, Wartortle, Dialga, Mew and Mewtwo.
Hetfield: Shouting gun.
Ulrich: On they run.
Hammet: Through the endless grey
They combine forces with the Autobots and destroy Ash, Wartortle, Dialga, Mew and Mewtwo.
The yellow ring bearers are in a bitter fight, once again. The two are evenly matched. Darth Rage uses his lightsaber to deflect the blasts from Hordak’s hands. Darth Rage eventually manages to get the upper hand and mortally wounds Hordak with a slash across Hordak’s chest. Sith Lord #16 rushes at Hordak and slices him in two. The two Sith Lords focus on the Dementors which are flying in the area. Together, they use their dark side abilities and force lightning to destroy Dementors #6 and 9.
Metallica has jumped on a small asteroid. They see the Justice Force flying their way.
Hetfield: So be it
Ulrich: Threaten no more
Hammet: To secure peace is to prepare for war
The Justice Force meets Metallica. Although Metallica is ripped apart from all sides, they actually manage to kill Boomerang and Nobody. The remaining Justice Force searches for their next fight. They are met by Darth Rage and Sith Lord #16. Sith Lord #16 manages to slice apart Nano. Chrysalis attempts to send a ray from her forehead, but it is easily blocked by Sith Lord #16. Darth Rage takes advantage of this fact and slices through Chrysalis. The Silver Sentry flies away, attempting to obtain help against the Sith. The two Transfoamer force wielders manage to kill Ananda, Metal Head, Tsunami, Raptarr and the Green Mantle, but the fight has taken its toll on the darksiders. As they are utilizing the force to replenish their energy, they are struck from behind by Silver Sentry and Zombie Arisia. Already in a weakened state, they are no match for the two and eventually Sentry and Arisia get the better of the fighters. Sith Lord #16 and Darth Rage are killed.
Cybertronian Guardian #8, Neo-Cymek #19, Junkeons #15 and 16 come to the scene to face Autobots #1-5 now that their Metallica-mates are no longer alive. The battle between the immense robots is spectacular. In the end, pieces and scraps litter the space way. Standing is Neo-Cymek #19 and a battle scarred Cybertronian Guardian #8. All Autobots #1-5, as well as Junkeons #15 and 16, are destroyed. Tranformers #1-8, as well as (movie) Mudflap, (movie) Sideswipe and (movie) Iron Hide enter the robotic fray. Transformer #3 and 6 are lost immediately. But the remaining Transfoamer members destroy both Neo-Cymek #19 and Cybertronian Guardian #8.
Halk Kar, Omac and Trigon face off against the remaining robots. They are soon joined by teammates Silver Sentry and Zombie Arisia. Halk Kar destroys Mudflap and Sideswipe. Silver Sentry destroys Iron Hide. The remaining Transformers #1-2, 4-5, 7-8 are picked apart and destroyed by the remaining Comet crew. Notwithstanding, winning has its price as the Comets lost Omac, Silver Sentry and Zombie Arisia in the final battle.
The Transfoamers: All dead.
Haley’s Comets: Halk Kar and Trigon survive.
HALEY’S COMETS IS VICTORIOUS!!!
The Right Wing vs. The Syracuse Valley
“Space is big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it’s a long way down the road to the drug store, but that’s just peanuts to space.”
-Douglas Adams
I look at the teams to do battle in the Rischey Mays during this Week 4 Match. They are as follows:
The Right Wing: Silver Surfer, Zeus, The Incredible Hulk, Batwoman in a Tie Bomber, Droid Fighter Ships #1-4, Gold Dragons #1-3, Red Sonja and The Pantheon: Agamemnon, Achilles, Ajax, Andromeda, Atlanta, Cassiopeia, Delphi, Hector, Jason, Paris, Prometheus, Ulysses I and Ulysses II in Gen. Grievous' Ship, Darth Malak and Miss Martian in a Snow Speeder, Superwoman, Prometheus, Jool Nooret, Blue Lantern #2, and Lyra.
The Syracuse Valley: Bucky O'Hare, Deadeye Duck, Bruiser, Willy Duwitt, Pilot Jenny and AFC Blinkie in The Righteous Indignation, Young Anakin Skywalker (w/ a blue lightsaber) and Kister in Ody Mandrell's Podracer, Star Fox (w/ Darth Maul's lightsaber) in an Arwing, James McLeod in an Arwing, Peppy Hare in an Arwing, Darth Techno in an Arwing, Jedi Guardian #3, Jedi Padawan #37 and Leebo in a Y-Wing Bomber, Dash Rendar in a Tie Bomber, (movie) Megatron, (movie) Starscream, Soundblaster with Zombie Rumble, (movie) Frenzy (w/ a Red Lightsaber), (movie) Ravage, Zombie Laserbeak, Overkill, Slugfest, Squawk Talk, Beast Box, Fast Forward, (movie) Wheely, Decepticon Spy Bug, Decepticons #1-2, Scooter, Go-Bots #1-3, (movie) Jazz, Rayden and Kid Thunder, Knuckles (w/ a red lightsaber), Shadow the Hedgehog, Robocop, Critters #1-12, Crasher, Billy Mays, Autobots #6-9, Kree Soldiers #1-18, Xenomorphs #94-95, Little Goombas #6-7 and Treasure Troll (un-identified due to the failure of Commissioner).
Let the battle begin. . .
In space, Gold Dragons #1-3 are unable to use their fire breath due to the lack of oxygen. Star Fox notices the apparent flaw of the Dragons and signals his squad to attack. Star Fox, James McLeod and Peppy Hare fire at the metallic-colored beasts. Gold Dragons #1-3 are riddled with lasers and die. Droid Fighter Ships #1-4 fly to the action and meet the Arwing squad. Before the Droid Fighter Ships can take advantage of their slightly better maneuverability, they are met by Megatron, Starscream and Decepticons #1 and #2. The Decepticons destroy all Droid Fighters Ships #1-4 is a matter of minutes.
Red Sonja and The Pantheon: Agamemnon, Achilles, Ajax, Andromeda, Atlanta, Cassiopeia, Delphi, Hector, Jason, Paris, Prometheus, Ulysses I, & Ulysses II are focused on the space battle occurring outside of their ship. While the entire crew is on the bridge, they do not hear the Billy Mays’ blow torch used by the space-suited spokesman. Mays cuts through a section of the airlock, which does not decompress, or activate any alert signals, because of Billy Mays’ stealth scanner. Along with Billy Mays, Shadow the Hedgehog, Robocop, Decepticon Spybug, Xenomorphs #94-95, Little Goombas #6-7 and unidentified Treasure Troll enter Grievous’ ship undetected. The Decepticon Spybug skittles toward the ship’s bridge and sees the Pantheon, focused on the bridge’s view screen. The Spybug reports back to its team. The Valley team follows the Spybug to the command center. Little do the Valleyites know, The Pantheon are now lying in wait. Delphi and Andromeda sensed the presence of the intruders earlier and told their fellow members to feign ignorance to their presence. Atlanta has his energy bow drawn and two energy arrows skewer Little Goombas #6-7. Perseus uses his energy spear to skewer Shadow the Hedgehog. Hector uses his energy flail to rip apart unidentified Treasure Troll. Jason has weapons in each hand, but is unable to deflect the bullets of Robocop; Jason is killed. Both Ulysses I and Ulysses II have their swords and shields drawn. The two manage to kill Xenomorphs #94-95. After Robocop kills Jason, he focuses on Paris. Paris’ body is shredded by the staccato fire of Robocop’s futuristic guns. Agamemnon sees both Paris and Jason down. He uses a specialized disrupter created by the technologically advanced group to destroy Robocop. He grabs the Decepticon Bug before it can skitter away and screams in it.
Agamemnon: Mays!!! Where are you Mays!!! You have made me lose two of my own!! You shall pay.
Agamemnon crushes the Decepticon Spybug.
Meanwhile, Mays is seen in a near-comatose state, lying on the floor of the medical/supply compartment of the ship. It turns out that Mays did not follow his teammates to the command center, but instead stayed behind, searching for “substances.” Mays located the drugs he was looking for and took them. He sings to himself “All the Single Ladies” with a smile on his face.
Although clearly not a space-faring ship, Anakin Skywalker and Kister zoom through space in Ody Mandrell's Podracer. They are chased by Darth Malak and Miss Martian in a Snow Speeder, which like its prey, is not a true space-faring ship. Nonetheless, Malak triggers the Snow Speeder’s grappling hooks at the podracer. The hook encircles the podracer’s fuel injected cells and the vehicle shoots out of control.
Anakin: This is tense. . . .
Kister: Ani. I know you can get us out of this. I’m your biggest fan!
Batwoman (hearing Kister over the designated comm. channel): Support this!
Batwoman fires the laser cannons of her Tie Bomber and takes out the podracer. Anakin jettisons out; Kister is not so lucky. Anakin sees a large form floating his way. He looks down and pulls out his lightsaber. Before Young Anakin Skywalker is able to ignite the blue blade, Lyra comes upon the slave boy and crushes his skull. Go-Bots #1-3 come to the skirmish. Lyra uses all of her immense strength to defeat Go-Bot #1. She is utterly exhausted as Go-Bots #2-3 surround her. Go-Bots #2-3 pummel Lyra; she is about to lose consciousness when an enraged Hulk and Blue Lantern #2 save her. The Incredible Hulk destroys Go-Bot #2 while Blue Lantern #2 uses his ring to create a solid projection that smashes Go-Bot #3.
Batwoman has left the podracer duel area and decides to face off against Dash Rendar in his Tie Bomber. The two pilots are closely matched and it appears that neither will obtain the upper hand over the other. Batwoman actually manages to maneuver her Bomber behind Rendar’s ship. As she is about to fire her weapons, Darth Techno storms into the duel in his Arwing and fires his weapons. Batwoman and her Tie Bomber are blown to bits.
Bucky O'Hare, Deadeye Duck, Bruiser, Willy Duwitt, Pilot Jenny and AFC Blinkie fly in The Righteous Indignation. They feel their ship shudder as it is held in place by Superwoman. Superwoman then punches a hole in the ship. As the air is escaping from the Righteous Indignation, the Toad Wars team rush to slip on their spacesuits. As the team members evacuate the vehicle, Silver Surfer comes upon the scene and uses his cosmic powers to blow each of them apart. The entire Righteous Indignation ship follows its crew to their graves as it implodes.
Darth Malak and Miss Martian remain in their Snow Speeder as they are surrounded by Kree Soldiers #1-18 (all with artificial life-breathing devices). The Kree swarm over the ship. The Snow Speeder is eventually destroyed and Malak and Miss Martian escape. Malak in a flight suit uses his lightsaber and kills Kree #2, 8 and 18. Miss Martian uses her optic force blasts to kill Kree #5, 7, 11 and 13. The remaining Kree eventually gain the upper hand over the two due to sheer numbers alone. As Malak and Miss Martian are surrounded, they are joined by teammates Zeus and Prometheus. Together, the God and Titan destroy the remaining Kree, with the assistance of both Malak and Martian.
All Arwings fly together since they are a formidable fighting squad. Star Fox, James McLeod, Peppy Hare and Darth Techno in their Arwings race to the next battle site. They focus on Blue Lantern #2, who is currently flying alone. Although Blue Lantern #2 manages to defend himself with regard to some of the salvos, he is not able to escape the constant laser barrage. Blue Lantern #2 is killed. Silver Surfer has had enough of the Arwing squadron. The Surfer flies at the Arwings and releases the full force of his power cosmic, destroying all of the vehicles. Star Fox and Darth Techno manage to jettison out of their ships; McLeod and Hare or not so lucky and are killed with their ships.
Darth Techno and Star Fox escape from the melee and float to Grievous’ ship. The duo locate the spot previously opened by Mays and enter the ship. As they pass the medical section of the ship, they spot Billy Mays.
Mays: Hey, I’ve signaled the other with the Billy Mays’ Communicator. They should be here any minute. . . Want something to tide you over until they come?
Techno and Fox refuse the “battle favors” that Mays offers them. They wait and see Decepticons #1 and #2 transformed into aerial vehicles, coming their way. The Decepticons transport Rayden and Kid Thunder, Knuckles and Critters #1-12 to Grievous’ ship. The new Valley team storms the ship’s command center. Red Sonja, who did not battle in the first melee, is immediately attacked by Critters #1-12. Although she manages to stab Critters #3, 5 and 8 to death, the remaining monsters rip her apart and eat her alive. Sensing his team is facing a more enigmatic foe this time around, Zeus decides to transports Darth Malak, Miss Martian, Prometheus and Jool Nooret to the ship. The legendary sword master Nooret, along with Prometheus, manage to destroy the remaining Critters. Knuckles enters the fray and with his lightsaber slashes through Ulysses I. Ulysses II avenges his Pantheon brother. Ulysses II slices Knuckles’ hand off that was holding the lightsaber. As Knuckles reaches for the saber with his other hand, he is stabbed and killed by Ulysses II. Rayden and Kid Thunder combine their Mortal Kombat abilities to kill the Pantheon’s Prometheus. The real Prometheus takes vengeance on the murderers of his namesake and kills both Kid Thunder and Rayden. Star Fox manages to skirt behind Delphi and uses the twin-bladed saber of Darth Maul to kill the Pantheon member. Darth Techno sees his lightsabered brethren victorious in his skirmish and one-ups him by killing both Cassiopeia and Achilles. Darth Malak comes before the two lightsaber-wielding opponents and enters a battle ready stance. The lightsaber duel is furious between the combatants, but in the end, Malak bests both Darth Techno and Star Fox.
The Valleyites determine that the only way to win this battle is to destroy Grievous’ ship. Billy Mays hears his teammates squawking at one another, makes sure his pressure suit is sealed with Billy Mays’ adhesive tape and flies out of the ship toward the Snow Speeder which is now unmanned.
Jedi Guardian #3, Jedi Padawan #37 and Leebo in their Y-Wing Bomber along with Dash Rendar in his Tie Bomber barrage the ship with their proton torpedoes and bombs. The ship explodes and in the explosion, die Atlanta and Andromeda. Members of both sides are floating in pressure suits amongst the flotillas of wreckage. Superwoman tightens her body into a projectile that rips through both ships. Rendar is killed with his Tie Bomber, while Leebo and Jedi Padawan #37 die in the Y-Wing’s explosion. The remaining Pantheon members- Agamemnon, Ajax, Hector, and Ulysses II locate Jedi Guardian #3. A fight ensues. Although the Jedi Guardian #3 manages to kill Agamemnon and Ulysses II, he eventually succumbs to the combined forces of Ajax, Hector and Darth Malak, who joins the fray. Autobots #6-9 see Ajax, Hector and Malak. It is only a matter of time before Autobots #6-9 destroy both Hector and Ajax. Darth Malak manages to take out Autobot #7 with his force lightning and lightsaber skills. Malak is wearied, but faces the remaining Autobots. The Titan Prometheus and Zeus come to the aid of Malak and destroy the remaining Autobots #6, 8 and 9.
A somewhat bloodied Darth Malak joins Jool Nooret in a battle against Decepticons #1-2. Although Decepticon #1 is damaged, the giant robots are too much for the sword masters. Darth Malak and Jool Nooret are killed. Superwoman, along with Hulk and Lyra come to face the Decepticons. After a pitched battle, Superwoman destroys Decepticon #2 and #1 is destroyed by the father-daughter combo of Hulk and Lyra.
The remaining robots come together to make their stand. Scooter and Crasher, along with (movie) Megatron, (movie) Starscream, Soundblaster with Zombie Rumble, (movie) Frenzy (w/ a Red Lightsaber), (movie) Ravage, Zombie Laserbeak, Overkill, Slugfest, Squawk Talk, Beast Box and Fast Forward and (movie) Wheely float in various stages of transforming in a debris field which was once Grievous’ ship. The robots scan the debris and see a battle-ready Silver Surfer, Zeus, Hulk, Miss Martian, Superwoman, Prometheus and Lyra. The final battle between the combatants takes place in a rapid-fire, fevered pitch. One after another bodies fly and robot parts are destroyed. Squawk Talk and Beast Box are devastated by Miss Martian. Soundblaster with Zombie Rumble are defeated by the Hulk. Ravage is destroyed by Lyra. Miss Martian is killed by Starscream, who is then decimated by Superwoman. For killing his major domo, Megatron kills Superwoman in vengeance. Slugfest is killed by Prometheus. As Prometheus turns, he sees Laserbeak. The Transformer’s form reminds him of his prior fate - his regenerating liver being eaten for eternity by an eagle. Overkill, Frenzy, Jazz, and Laserbeak take advantage of Prometheus’ ponderings and kill him. Zeus uses all of his godlike powers to destroy Fast Forward, Jazz and Scooter. Crasher and Wheely are taken out by the Hulk; Lyra destroys Zombie Laserbeak. As Lyra turns to smile at her victory and bask in same with her father, she is killed by Megatron and Frenzy. Hulk is blinded by fury and destroys both Overkill and Frenzy. He is wounded by Frenzy’s lightsaber and succumbs to the malicious Megatron. Zeus and Silver Surfer combine their god and cosmic powers together to destroy Megatron.
Zeus and Silver Surfer look for the remaining member of the opposing side who was last seen in the Snow Speeder. As they approach the Speeder, they slowly see that it is simply drifting. They look into the cockpit and discover Billy Mays, spittle around his mouth and his eyes wide open. Mays has suffered from a heart attack – at the fury of the battle – nothing to do with the amount of drugs ingested.
The Right Wing: Silver Surfer and Zeus survive.
The Syracuse Valley: All dead.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!!
-Douglas Adams
I look at the teams to do battle in the Rischey Mays during this Week 4 Match. They are as follows:
The Right Wing: Silver Surfer, Zeus, The Incredible Hulk, Batwoman in a Tie Bomber, Droid Fighter Ships #1-4, Gold Dragons #1-3, Red Sonja and The Pantheon: Agamemnon, Achilles, Ajax, Andromeda, Atlanta, Cassiopeia, Delphi, Hector, Jason, Paris, Prometheus, Ulysses I and Ulysses II in Gen. Grievous' Ship, Darth Malak and Miss Martian in a Snow Speeder, Superwoman, Prometheus, Jool Nooret, Blue Lantern #2, and Lyra.
The Syracuse Valley: Bucky O'Hare, Deadeye Duck, Bruiser, Willy Duwitt, Pilot Jenny and AFC Blinkie in The Righteous Indignation, Young Anakin Skywalker (w/ a blue lightsaber) and Kister in Ody Mandrell's Podracer, Star Fox (w/ Darth Maul's lightsaber) in an Arwing, James McLeod in an Arwing, Peppy Hare in an Arwing, Darth Techno in an Arwing, Jedi Guardian #3, Jedi Padawan #37 and Leebo in a Y-Wing Bomber, Dash Rendar in a Tie Bomber, (movie) Megatron, (movie) Starscream, Soundblaster with Zombie Rumble, (movie) Frenzy (w/ a Red Lightsaber), (movie) Ravage, Zombie Laserbeak, Overkill, Slugfest, Squawk Talk, Beast Box, Fast Forward, (movie) Wheely, Decepticon Spy Bug, Decepticons #1-2, Scooter, Go-Bots #1-3, (movie) Jazz, Rayden and Kid Thunder, Knuckles (w/ a red lightsaber), Shadow the Hedgehog, Robocop, Critters #1-12, Crasher, Billy Mays, Autobots #6-9, Kree Soldiers #1-18, Xenomorphs #94-95, Little Goombas #6-7 and Treasure Troll (un-identified due to the failure of Commissioner).
Let the battle begin. . .
In space, Gold Dragons #1-3 are unable to use their fire breath due to the lack of oxygen. Star Fox notices the apparent flaw of the Dragons and signals his squad to attack. Star Fox, James McLeod and Peppy Hare fire at the metallic-colored beasts. Gold Dragons #1-3 are riddled with lasers and die. Droid Fighter Ships #1-4 fly to the action and meet the Arwing squad. Before the Droid Fighter Ships can take advantage of their slightly better maneuverability, they are met by Megatron, Starscream and Decepticons #1 and #2. The Decepticons destroy all Droid Fighters Ships #1-4 is a matter of minutes.
Red Sonja and The Pantheon: Agamemnon, Achilles, Ajax, Andromeda, Atlanta, Cassiopeia, Delphi, Hector, Jason, Paris, Prometheus, Ulysses I, & Ulysses II are focused on the space battle occurring outside of their ship. While the entire crew is on the bridge, they do not hear the Billy Mays’ blow torch used by the space-suited spokesman. Mays cuts through a section of the airlock, which does not decompress, or activate any alert signals, because of Billy Mays’ stealth scanner. Along with Billy Mays, Shadow the Hedgehog, Robocop, Decepticon Spybug, Xenomorphs #94-95, Little Goombas #6-7 and unidentified Treasure Troll enter Grievous’ ship undetected. The Decepticon Spybug skittles toward the ship’s bridge and sees the Pantheon, focused on the bridge’s view screen. The Spybug reports back to its team. The Valley team follows the Spybug to the command center. Little do the Valleyites know, The Pantheon are now lying in wait. Delphi and Andromeda sensed the presence of the intruders earlier and told their fellow members to feign ignorance to their presence. Atlanta has his energy bow drawn and two energy arrows skewer Little Goombas #6-7. Perseus uses his energy spear to skewer Shadow the Hedgehog. Hector uses his energy flail to rip apart unidentified Treasure Troll. Jason has weapons in each hand, but is unable to deflect the bullets of Robocop; Jason is killed. Both Ulysses I and Ulysses II have their swords and shields drawn. The two manage to kill Xenomorphs #94-95. After Robocop kills Jason, he focuses on Paris. Paris’ body is shredded by the staccato fire of Robocop’s futuristic guns. Agamemnon sees both Paris and Jason down. He uses a specialized disrupter created by the technologically advanced group to destroy Robocop. He grabs the Decepticon Bug before it can skitter away and screams in it.
Agamemnon: Mays!!! Where are you Mays!!! You have made me lose two of my own!! You shall pay.
Agamemnon crushes the Decepticon Spybug.
Meanwhile, Mays is seen in a near-comatose state, lying on the floor of the medical/supply compartment of the ship. It turns out that Mays did not follow his teammates to the command center, but instead stayed behind, searching for “substances.” Mays located the drugs he was looking for and took them. He sings to himself “All the Single Ladies” with a smile on his face.
Although clearly not a space-faring ship, Anakin Skywalker and Kister zoom through space in Ody Mandrell's Podracer. They are chased by Darth Malak and Miss Martian in a Snow Speeder, which like its prey, is not a true space-faring ship. Nonetheless, Malak triggers the Snow Speeder’s grappling hooks at the podracer. The hook encircles the podracer’s fuel injected cells and the vehicle shoots out of control.
Anakin: This is tense. . . .
Kister: Ani. I know you can get us out of this. I’m your biggest fan!
Batwoman (hearing Kister over the designated comm. channel): Support this!
Batwoman fires the laser cannons of her Tie Bomber and takes out the podracer. Anakin jettisons out; Kister is not so lucky. Anakin sees a large form floating his way. He looks down and pulls out his lightsaber. Before Young Anakin Skywalker is able to ignite the blue blade, Lyra comes upon the slave boy and crushes his skull. Go-Bots #1-3 come to the skirmish. Lyra uses all of her immense strength to defeat Go-Bot #1. She is utterly exhausted as Go-Bots #2-3 surround her. Go-Bots #2-3 pummel Lyra; she is about to lose consciousness when an enraged Hulk and Blue Lantern #2 save her. The Incredible Hulk destroys Go-Bot #2 while Blue Lantern #2 uses his ring to create a solid projection that smashes Go-Bot #3.
Batwoman has left the podracer duel area and decides to face off against Dash Rendar in his Tie Bomber. The two pilots are closely matched and it appears that neither will obtain the upper hand over the other. Batwoman actually manages to maneuver her Bomber behind Rendar’s ship. As she is about to fire her weapons, Darth Techno storms into the duel in his Arwing and fires his weapons. Batwoman and her Tie Bomber are blown to bits.
Bucky O'Hare, Deadeye Duck, Bruiser, Willy Duwitt, Pilot Jenny and AFC Blinkie fly in The Righteous Indignation. They feel their ship shudder as it is held in place by Superwoman. Superwoman then punches a hole in the ship. As the air is escaping from the Righteous Indignation, the Toad Wars team rush to slip on their spacesuits. As the team members evacuate the vehicle, Silver Surfer comes upon the scene and uses his cosmic powers to blow each of them apart. The entire Righteous Indignation ship follows its crew to their graves as it implodes.
Darth Malak and Miss Martian remain in their Snow Speeder as they are surrounded by Kree Soldiers #1-18 (all with artificial life-breathing devices). The Kree swarm over the ship. The Snow Speeder is eventually destroyed and Malak and Miss Martian escape. Malak in a flight suit uses his lightsaber and kills Kree #2, 8 and 18. Miss Martian uses her optic force blasts to kill Kree #5, 7, 11 and 13. The remaining Kree eventually gain the upper hand over the two due to sheer numbers alone. As Malak and Miss Martian are surrounded, they are joined by teammates Zeus and Prometheus. Together, the God and Titan destroy the remaining Kree, with the assistance of both Malak and Martian.
All Arwings fly together since they are a formidable fighting squad. Star Fox, James McLeod, Peppy Hare and Darth Techno in their Arwings race to the next battle site. They focus on Blue Lantern #2, who is currently flying alone. Although Blue Lantern #2 manages to defend himself with regard to some of the salvos, he is not able to escape the constant laser barrage. Blue Lantern #2 is killed. Silver Surfer has had enough of the Arwing squadron. The Surfer flies at the Arwings and releases the full force of his power cosmic, destroying all of the vehicles. Star Fox and Darth Techno manage to jettison out of their ships; McLeod and Hare or not so lucky and are killed with their ships.
Darth Techno and Star Fox escape from the melee and float to Grievous’ ship. The duo locate the spot previously opened by Mays and enter the ship. As they pass the medical section of the ship, they spot Billy Mays.
Mays: Hey, I’ve signaled the other with the Billy Mays’ Communicator. They should be here any minute. . . Want something to tide you over until they come?
Techno and Fox refuse the “battle favors” that Mays offers them. They wait and see Decepticons #1 and #2 transformed into aerial vehicles, coming their way. The Decepticons transport Rayden and Kid Thunder, Knuckles and Critters #1-12 to Grievous’ ship. The new Valley team storms the ship’s command center. Red Sonja, who did not battle in the first melee, is immediately attacked by Critters #1-12. Although she manages to stab Critters #3, 5 and 8 to death, the remaining monsters rip her apart and eat her alive. Sensing his team is facing a more enigmatic foe this time around, Zeus decides to transports Darth Malak, Miss Martian, Prometheus and Jool Nooret to the ship. The legendary sword master Nooret, along with Prometheus, manage to destroy the remaining Critters. Knuckles enters the fray and with his lightsaber slashes through Ulysses I. Ulysses II avenges his Pantheon brother. Ulysses II slices Knuckles’ hand off that was holding the lightsaber. As Knuckles reaches for the saber with his other hand, he is stabbed and killed by Ulysses II. Rayden and Kid Thunder combine their Mortal Kombat abilities to kill the Pantheon’s Prometheus. The real Prometheus takes vengeance on the murderers of his namesake and kills both Kid Thunder and Rayden. Star Fox manages to skirt behind Delphi and uses the twin-bladed saber of Darth Maul to kill the Pantheon member. Darth Techno sees his lightsabered brethren victorious in his skirmish and one-ups him by killing both Cassiopeia and Achilles. Darth Malak comes before the two lightsaber-wielding opponents and enters a battle ready stance. The lightsaber duel is furious between the combatants, but in the end, Malak bests both Darth Techno and Star Fox.
The Valleyites determine that the only way to win this battle is to destroy Grievous’ ship. Billy Mays hears his teammates squawking at one another, makes sure his pressure suit is sealed with Billy Mays’ adhesive tape and flies out of the ship toward the Snow Speeder which is now unmanned.
Jedi Guardian #3, Jedi Padawan #37 and Leebo in their Y-Wing Bomber along with Dash Rendar in his Tie Bomber barrage the ship with their proton torpedoes and bombs. The ship explodes and in the explosion, die Atlanta and Andromeda. Members of both sides are floating in pressure suits amongst the flotillas of wreckage. Superwoman tightens her body into a projectile that rips through both ships. Rendar is killed with his Tie Bomber, while Leebo and Jedi Padawan #37 die in the Y-Wing’s explosion. The remaining Pantheon members- Agamemnon, Ajax, Hector, and Ulysses II locate Jedi Guardian #3. A fight ensues. Although the Jedi Guardian #3 manages to kill Agamemnon and Ulysses II, he eventually succumbs to the combined forces of Ajax, Hector and Darth Malak, who joins the fray. Autobots #6-9 see Ajax, Hector and Malak. It is only a matter of time before Autobots #6-9 destroy both Hector and Ajax. Darth Malak manages to take out Autobot #7 with his force lightning and lightsaber skills. Malak is wearied, but faces the remaining Autobots. The Titan Prometheus and Zeus come to the aid of Malak and destroy the remaining Autobots #6, 8 and 9.
A somewhat bloodied Darth Malak joins Jool Nooret in a battle against Decepticons #1-2. Although Decepticon #1 is damaged, the giant robots are too much for the sword masters. Darth Malak and Jool Nooret are killed. Superwoman, along with Hulk and Lyra come to face the Decepticons. After a pitched battle, Superwoman destroys Decepticon #2 and #1 is destroyed by the father-daughter combo of Hulk and Lyra.
The remaining robots come together to make their stand. Scooter and Crasher, along with (movie) Megatron, (movie) Starscream, Soundblaster with Zombie Rumble, (movie) Frenzy (w/ a Red Lightsaber), (movie) Ravage, Zombie Laserbeak, Overkill, Slugfest, Squawk Talk, Beast Box and Fast Forward and (movie) Wheely float in various stages of transforming in a debris field which was once Grievous’ ship. The robots scan the debris and see a battle-ready Silver Surfer, Zeus, Hulk, Miss Martian, Superwoman, Prometheus and Lyra. The final battle between the combatants takes place in a rapid-fire, fevered pitch. One after another bodies fly and robot parts are destroyed. Squawk Talk and Beast Box are devastated by Miss Martian. Soundblaster with Zombie Rumble are defeated by the Hulk. Ravage is destroyed by Lyra. Miss Martian is killed by Starscream, who is then decimated by Superwoman. For killing his major domo, Megatron kills Superwoman in vengeance. Slugfest is killed by Prometheus. As Prometheus turns, he sees Laserbeak. The Transformer’s form reminds him of his prior fate - his regenerating liver being eaten for eternity by an eagle. Overkill, Frenzy, Jazz, and Laserbeak take advantage of Prometheus’ ponderings and kill him. Zeus uses all of his godlike powers to destroy Fast Forward, Jazz and Scooter. Crasher and Wheely are taken out by the Hulk; Lyra destroys Zombie Laserbeak. As Lyra turns to smile at her victory and bask in same with her father, she is killed by Megatron and Frenzy. Hulk is blinded by fury and destroys both Overkill and Frenzy. He is wounded by Frenzy’s lightsaber and succumbs to the malicious Megatron. Zeus and Silver Surfer combine their god and cosmic powers together to destroy Megatron.
Zeus and Silver Surfer look for the remaining member of the opposing side who was last seen in the Snow Speeder. As they approach the Speeder, they slowly see that it is simply drifting. They look into the cockpit and discover Billy Mays, spittle around his mouth and his eyes wide open. Mays has suffered from a heart attack – at the fury of the battle – nothing to do with the amount of drugs ingested.
The Right Wing: Silver Surfer and Zeus survive.
The Syracuse Valley: All dead.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
The Horsemen of Apokolips vs. Built (Bill) Ford Tough
“Space by itself, and time by itself, are doomed to fade away into mere shadows, and only a kind union of the two will preserve an independent reality.”
-Albert Einstein
I try to locate the battlefield in the Rischey Mays. The deafening sounds nearly shatter my eardrums. The intermittent stuttering of light nearly blinds my eyes. I experience sensory overload. The cosmic forces swirl through space, creating a fury that disjoins reality. Through the haze I see the Phoenix screaming through space.
Jason: What’s happening?!?!
Princess: We don’t have time to figure it out now!
Tiny: Get us out of here!!!
Sheer horror is draped on the G-Force crew’s faces at the carnage surrounding them. The lifeless bodies of Hargon the Measurer, Tefral the Surveyor, Nazzar the Calculator, Gammenon the Gatherer, Arishem the Judge, Jeremiah the Analyzor, Eson the Searcher, Oneg the Prober and Ziran the Tester drift through space.
Through the obscurity I see various members of the Built (Bill) Ford Tough Team shouting in victory. A large explosion occurs and I am unable to watch further. . .
-Albert Einstein
I try to locate the battlefield in the Rischey Mays. The deafening sounds nearly shatter my eardrums. The intermittent stuttering of light nearly blinds my eyes. I experience sensory overload. The cosmic forces swirl through space, creating a fury that disjoins reality. Through the haze I see the Phoenix screaming through space.
Jason: What’s happening?!?!
Princess: We don’t have time to figure it out now!
Tiny: Get us out of here!!!
Sheer horror is draped on the G-Force crew’s faces at the carnage surrounding them. The lifeless bodies of Hargon the Measurer, Tefral the Surveyor, Nazzar the Calculator, Gammenon the Gatherer, Arishem the Judge, Jeremiah the Analyzor, Eson the Searcher, Oneg the Prober and Ziran the Tester drift through space.
Through the obscurity I see various members of the Built (Bill) Ford Tough Team shouting in victory. A large explosion occurs and I am unable to watch further. . .
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Week 4: Death Match
Points: 800
Setting: The Rischey Mayes (space)
Prize: 2 green lightsabers
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Built Ford Tough (Bryan)
-TEAM Vs. Logical Genocide (Josh)
-Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. The Abomitrons (Nick)
-Team S.P. Vs. Alice's Wonder Team (Josh)
-Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve Vs. Bruce's Bodacious Bullies (Mike)
-The Untouchables Vs. Oblivio (Josh)
-Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets (Ryan)
-The Transfoamers Vs. Hayley's Comets (Bryan)
-George Washington's Slaves Vs. P.M.S. (Ryan)
-Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. Brock Sampsons Fighting Murderflies (Josh)
-Xavier's Annihilation Squad Vs. Better Than All of You (Ryan)
-The Right Wing Vs. The Syracuse Valley (Bryan)
Setting: The Rischey Mayes (space)
Prize: 2 green lightsabers
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Built Ford Tough (Bryan)
-TEAM Vs. Logical Genocide (Josh)
-Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. The Abomitrons (Nick)
-Team S.P. Vs. Alice's Wonder Team (Josh)
-Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve Vs. Bruce's Bodacious Bullies (Mike)
-The Untouchables Vs. Oblivio (Josh)
-Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets (Ryan)
-The Transfoamers Vs. Hayley's Comets (Bryan)
-George Washington's Slaves Vs. P.M.S. (Ryan)
-Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. Brock Sampsons Fighting Murderflies (Josh)
-Xavier's Annihilation Squad Vs. Better Than All of You (Ryan)
-The Right Wing Vs. The Syracuse Valley (Bryan)
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Right Wing
The Horsemen of Apokolips are Hal Jordan Parallax, Destroyer, Annihilus, Exitar the Exterminator, Juggernaut, Dakken, Luke Skywalker Grand Jedi Master, Ce Ce Denowi, Aron the Rogue Watcher, & Havok.
The Right Wing is Superwoman, The Volturi: Aro, Marcus, & Caius, Jool Nooret, Victoria (with a red lightsaber), Red Sonja, Silver Surfer, The Incredible Hulk w/ The Pantheon: Agamemnon, Achilles, Ajax, Andromeda, Atalanta,Cassiopiea, Delphi, Hector, Jason, Paris, Prometheus, Perseus, Ulysses I, & Ulysses II, Blue Lantern #2, Lyra the She-Hulk, Droid Fighter Ship #1 & 2, & Ninja #1.
Possibly the most anticipated interleague match of the year, will begin with The Right Wing’s Head Coach Mike Huckabee addressing his team. Governor Huckabee says: “I realize that we are about to go up against the 2 and 0 Universe Bowl Champion Horsemen of Apokolips. Possibly the most feared team in all of Fantasy Fantasy. A team that has never lost an interleague match, and hasn’t lost a match at all since way back last season some time. But I am here to tell you, that I’ve been an underdog before. When I took on the Clinton machine down in Arkansas, no one thought it could be done, but I did it. I became governor with nowhere near as much money or backing as my opponents. When I ran for president in 2008 they claimed that I had no chance of victory” “And victory is exactly what you did not achieve” Agamemnon says to rudely interrupt their head coach. The Huckster keeps going with: “That may be so Agamemnon, I didn’t win the presidency, but they said I would never make it out of Iowa, many thought I wouldn’t even be able to afford to continue making it to the debates; but I continued on and took my candidacy all the way to the convention. Now I think we can win this fight. I think we have it in us, but if taking it all the way to the convention is the best we can do, than all I ask is that you all give it your best until the very end; and if it doesn’t look like victory is even a possibility, then just keep on trying as if nothing has changed from this very minute. Now, lets go out there and try and bring apocalypse to the Horsemen”. The Right Wing splits into 2 factions, one led by Agamemnon and one by Aro. They know that although the Horsemen have some major power, that will be extremely difficult to contend with, that they have them outnumbered, and that if they can surround the Horsemen in the center of Coruscant that they may have a chance. Luke Skywalker takes command of The Horsemen, even though many of their squad are not exactly people that take orders or follow a plan laid out by someone else (individuals with limitless cosmic power, don’t typically care for meetings or team plans). But the “fighters” on the Horsemen do form up behind Season 2’s #1 overall pick. As Agamemnon and his squad rush up the left flank Luke and the boys are more than ready for them. The beautiful Ce Ce Denowi ducks under a sword attack from Red Sonja and then removes her of her head, while The Incredible Hulk jumps into the air and takes a page out of his red counter-part’s playbook when he punches Aron in the face. Aron the Rogue Watcher is phased by this attack but not so much that it affects him to negatively. Aron uses his cosmic power to knock the Hulk down, but what Aron obviously does not realize is that what he is doing is merely making the Hulk angry, and as we all know, the angrier Hulk get, the stronger Hulk get. With this being said The Hulk jumps up to punch Aron in the face once again, but this time Aron hits the Coruscant ground very hard. Aron attempts to defend himself, but Hulk manages to get on top of The Watcher and pound him into a cosmic pulp. Havok blasts Ninja #1 to bits before he can do anything to ninja-ey, but he is then met by the Hulk’s old buddies The Pantheon and his daughter Lyra. Havok takes out Cassiopiea & Atalanta, but his attention is averted by Achilles and Hector while his face is inverted by Lyra and her fist. Dakken pops out his claws and begins moving his way into the fight, but he is soon met by Jool Nooret. The 2 of them match up fairly well and move against one another with much grace. Dakken goes in for the kill against Nooret, but the son of the best at what he does is no match for the greatest Ginaz Swordsmen in history. Nooret is just to fast for Dakken, and although it takes several stabs from Jool’s knives for Nooret to realize that this mutant is not going to die until his head is separated from his body, it is that that Jool Nooret does next as he uses his Ginaz sword to slice thru the neck of Dakken. If Dave Attell was writing this match it would go something like this: Hal Jordan Parallax………… Let’s talk about him. Possibly the most controversial character ever drafted in FFL history, Hal Jordan Parallax, for the record was a Commissioner approved pick. The jokes and criticisms of this character have yet to cease or slow down, and there are many who will never be convinced that this is not total bullcrap (although it is far from unprecedented that a character have more than one incarnation of him/herself in this league i.e. Anakin Skywalker, Superboy, Gandalf, etc….). Hal Jordan Parallax is after all an extremely powerful character, who would be a value to any team, much like Superman, or in this case the Mr. Mxyzlpltk created female counterpart of Superman: Superwoman who blasts thru Hal Jordan Parallax completely ripping him apart. Silver Surfer is being flanked by Blue Lantern #2, who is not at her full power without a Green Lantern around, but does have more than just her base abilities due to the fact that she was within a decent proximity of Hal Jordan and his green lantern rings, even if they were being corrupted by the Parallax power. Although, it is the Blue Lantern’s powers of hope that tip the scales for Silver Surfer and make his victory over Annihilus much easier that it should have been. Annihilus’ want for destruction was tamed by the hope of the Blue Ring. Annihilus was then driven by his basic need to destroy this hope, which he did by ripping thru the protective aura of The Blue Lantern with his Cosmic Control Rod to kill the Lantern, but then the Surfer was able to simply use the power cosmic to destroy Annihilus after he had used up so much energy in his battle against The Blue Lantern. Destroyer’s body is just barely moving without a host, but that is shortly fixed after he takes control of Paris from The Pantheon. Once the armor is on Paris (who is nowhere near strong-willed enough to control it). Then Destroyer is at his full capacity to inflict damage; which he does to both Delphi and Jason whom he easily takes out. Aro touches the dying body of Annihilus in order to gain access to every thought he has ever had. With this knowledge Aro can share The Horsemen’s game plan with his fellow Volturi, as well as the rest of his team. But Exitar the Exterminator has no desire to allow such a travesty to happen to his team. Exitar flies down from high above the Coruscant skyline and takes out both Droid Fighter Ships with his massive hands. The warrior Celestial then comes down and eliminates the threat of the Volturi and their powers when he destroys all 3 members. Ce Ce Denowi takes out Perseus, Andromeda, & the wise leader of The Pantheon Agamemnon with her lightsaber, before she is met by the Silver Surfer and taken out by the power cosmic, which she is unable to block with her force powers, even when aided by her lightsaber. Silver Surfer is done with his strafing run, when he meets up with Superwoman, high above the Republic Senate building. As the only 2 remaining flyers on the team, they briefly discuss what must be done, before they begin their attack on Exitar. Meanwhile down below Luke Skywalker is met by a small army led by Victoria, who has just ignited her red lightsaber. Victoria moves against the Grand Jedi Master along with Jool Nooret, both Ulysses, Achilles, and Lyra. Luke easily bests Victoria with his mastery of lightsaber techniques as he stabs her in the chest and then removes Jool Nooret of his head before he can make one of his amazingly quick moves. Ulysses I and Ulysses II both manage to parry Luke’s lightsaber with there own energy swords, but the lightning fast, force-fueled speed of Master Skywalker’s is just to fast for them to counteract. It isn’t until Achilles jumps in front of Luke to basically sacrifice himself that Ajax and Lyra can corner The Grand Jedi Master to overwhelm him with sheer brute force. Even then their victory over Luke is so short lived as the spice-addicted Juggernaut comes in with his own display of brute force and runs right over Ajax and Lyra, killing both of them where they stand. Destroyer and Juggernaut easily wipe out the last 2 members of Hulk’s Pantheon crew Hector and Prometheus on their way to double-team the green goliath, while miles away in the air, Superwoman and Silver Surfer zip around the massive frame of Exitar. Exitar receives a massive punch from the daughter of Jor-El, that could have leveled an entire city, but he then grabs a hold of the last daughter of Krypton and begins to squeeze. Superwoman attempts to break free of Exitar’s grip but shockingly enough cannot do it. She uses the last bit of her strength to look up and focus as much Heat Vision as she can muster at the neck of Exitar before he squeezes the life out of the female version of Superman. Silver Surfer sees what his new teammate has done, and focuses his own cosmic blasts in the exact same spot as he flies in at his top speed. While Superwoman’s lifeless body falls to the Metropolitan ground below, Silver Surfer at the last second before impact stops his heavy stream of cosmic energy and jumps off of his board, grabbing it with his hands and then swinging it with all of his might into the weakened spot of Exitar’s neck to knock the Celestial’s head off of his body. The dizzied surfer is caught by his mentally controlled surfboard even though he is having trouble even knowing which way is up after the brutal collision with the Celestial of Death; but he knows that when he last looked his sole remaining teammate the Hulk was being double-teamed by 2 heavyweights. The Silver Surfer does his best to pull himself together and then races back to the original battle site at light speed. When he arrives, he is shocked at what he sees. And who wouldn’t be at the sight of Hulk pounding on the already dead bodies of Destroyer and Juggernaut while he shouts: HULK SMASH HORSEMEN!! In a more earthly than normal fashion Silver Surfer replies with “you’re damn right we did”
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!
The Right Wing is Superwoman, The Volturi: Aro, Marcus, & Caius, Jool Nooret, Victoria (with a red lightsaber), Red Sonja, Silver Surfer, The Incredible Hulk w/ The Pantheon: Agamemnon, Achilles, Ajax, Andromeda, Atalanta,Cassiopiea, Delphi, Hector, Jason, Paris, Prometheus, Perseus, Ulysses I, & Ulysses II, Blue Lantern #2, Lyra the She-Hulk, Droid Fighter Ship #1 & 2, & Ninja #1.
Possibly the most anticipated interleague match of the year, will begin with The Right Wing’s Head Coach Mike Huckabee addressing his team. Governor Huckabee says: “I realize that we are about to go up against the 2 and 0 Universe Bowl Champion Horsemen of Apokolips. Possibly the most feared team in all of Fantasy Fantasy. A team that has never lost an interleague match, and hasn’t lost a match at all since way back last season some time. But I am here to tell you, that I’ve been an underdog before. When I took on the Clinton machine down in Arkansas, no one thought it could be done, but I did it. I became governor with nowhere near as much money or backing as my opponents. When I ran for president in 2008 they claimed that I had no chance of victory” “And victory is exactly what you did not achieve” Agamemnon says to rudely interrupt their head coach. The Huckster keeps going with: “That may be so Agamemnon, I didn’t win the presidency, but they said I would never make it out of Iowa, many thought I wouldn’t even be able to afford to continue making it to the debates; but I continued on and took my candidacy all the way to the convention. Now I think we can win this fight. I think we have it in us, but if taking it all the way to the convention is the best we can do, than all I ask is that you all give it your best until the very end; and if it doesn’t look like victory is even a possibility, then just keep on trying as if nothing has changed from this very minute. Now, lets go out there and try and bring apocalypse to the Horsemen”. The Right Wing splits into 2 factions, one led by Agamemnon and one by Aro. They know that although the Horsemen have some major power, that will be extremely difficult to contend with, that they have them outnumbered, and that if they can surround the Horsemen in the center of Coruscant that they may have a chance. Luke Skywalker takes command of The Horsemen, even though many of their squad are not exactly people that take orders or follow a plan laid out by someone else (individuals with limitless cosmic power, don’t typically care for meetings or team plans). But the “fighters” on the Horsemen do form up behind Season 2’s #1 overall pick. As Agamemnon and his squad rush up the left flank Luke and the boys are more than ready for them. The beautiful Ce Ce Denowi ducks under a sword attack from Red Sonja and then removes her of her head, while The Incredible Hulk jumps into the air and takes a page out of his red counter-part’s playbook when he punches Aron in the face. Aron the Rogue Watcher is phased by this attack but not so much that it affects him to negatively. Aron uses his cosmic power to knock the Hulk down, but what Aron obviously does not realize is that what he is doing is merely making the Hulk angry, and as we all know, the angrier Hulk get, the stronger Hulk get. With this being said The Hulk jumps up to punch Aron in the face once again, but this time Aron hits the Coruscant ground very hard. Aron attempts to defend himself, but Hulk manages to get on top of The Watcher and pound him into a cosmic pulp. Havok blasts Ninja #1 to bits before he can do anything to ninja-ey, but he is then met by the Hulk’s old buddies The Pantheon and his daughter Lyra. Havok takes out Cassiopiea & Atalanta, but his attention is averted by Achilles and Hector while his face is inverted by Lyra and her fist. Dakken pops out his claws and begins moving his way into the fight, but he is soon met by Jool Nooret. The 2 of them match up fairly well and move against one another with much grace. Dakken goes in for the kill against Nooret, but the son of the best at what he does is no match for the greatest Ginaz Swordsmen in history. Nooret is just to fast for Dakken, and although it takes several stabs from Jool’s knives for Nooret to realize that this mutant is not going to die until his head is separated from his body, it is that that Jool Nooret does next as he uses his Ginaz sword to slice thru the neck of Dakken. If Dave Attell was writing this match it would go something like this: Hal Jordan Parallax………… Let’s talk about him. Possibly the most controversial character ever drafted in FFL history, Hal Jordan Parallax, for the record was a Commissioner approved pick. The jokes and criticisms of this character have yet to cease or slow down, and there are many who will never be convinced that this is not total bullcrap (although it is far from unprecedented that a character have more than one incarnation of him/herself in this league i.e. Anakin Skywalker, Superboy, Gandalf, etc….). Hal Jordan Parallax is after all an extremely powerful character, who would be a value to any team, much like Superman, or in this case the Mr. Mxyzlpltk created female counterpart of Superman: Superwoman who blasts thru Hal Jordan Parallax completely ripping him apart. Silver Surfer is being flanked by Blue Lantern #2, who is not at her full power without a Green Lantern around, but does have more than just her base abilities due to the fact that she was within a decent proximity of Hal Jordan and his green lantern rings, even if they were being corrupted by the Parallax power. Although, it is the Blue Lantern’s powers of hope that tip the scales for Silver Surfer and make his victory over Annihilus much easier that it should have been. Annihilus’ want for destruction was tamed by the hope of the Blue Ring. Annihilus was then driven by his basic need to destroy this hope, which he did by ripping thru the protective aura of The Blue Lantern with his Cosmic Control Rod to kill the Lantern, but then the Surfer was able to simply use the power cosmic to destroy Annihilus after he had used up so much energy in his battle against The Blue Lantern. Destroyer’s body is just barely moving without a host, but that is shortly fixed after he takes control of Paris from The Pantheon. Once the armor is on Paris (who is nowhere near strong-willed enough to control it). Then Destroyer is at his full capacity to inflict damage; which he does to both Delphi and Jason whom he easily takes out. Aro touches the dying body of Annihilus in order to gain access to every thought he has ever had. With this knowledge Aro can share The Horsemen’s game plan with his fellow Volturi, as well as the rest of his team. But Exitar the Exterminator has no desire to allow such a travesty to happen to his team. Exitar flies down from high above the Coruscant skyline and takes out both Droid Fighter Ships with his massive hands. The warrior Celestial then comes down and eliminates the threat of the Volturi and their powers when he destroys all 3 members. Ce Ce Denowi takes out Perseus, Andromeda, & the wise leader of The Pantheon Agamemnon with her lightsaber, before she is met by the Silver Surfer and taken out by the power cosmic, which she is unable to block with her force powers, even when aided by her lightsaber. Silver Surfer is done with his strafing run, when he meets up with Superwoman, high above the Republic Senate building. As the only 2 remaining flyers on the team, they briefly discuss what must be done, before they begin their attack on Exitar. Meanwhile down below Luke Skywalker is met by a small army led by Victoria, who has just ignited her red lightsaber. Victoria moves against the Grand Jedi Master along with Jool Nooret, both Ulysses, Achilles, and Lyra. Luke easily bests Victoria with his mastery of lightsaber techniques as he stabs her in the chest and then removes Jool Nooret of his head before he can make one of his amazingly quick moves. Ulysses I and Ulysses II both manage to parry Luke’s lightsaber with there own energy swords, but the lightning fast, force-fueled speed of Master Skywalker’s is just to fast for them to counteract. It isn’t until Achilles jumps in front of Luke to basically sacrifice himself that Ajax and Lyra can corner The Grand Jedi Master to overwhelm him with sheer brute force. Even then their victory over Luke is so short lived as the spice-addicted Juggernaut comes in with his own display of brute force and runs right over Ajax and Lyra, killing both of them where they stand. Destroyer and Juggernaut easily wipe out the last 2 members of Hulk’s Pantheon crew Hector and Prometheus on their way to double-team the green goliath, while miles away in the air, Superwoman and Silver Surfer zip around the massive frame of Exitar. Exitar receives a massive punch from the daughter of Jor-El, that could have leveled an entire city, but he then grabs a hold of the last daughter of Krypton and begins to squeeze. Superwoman attempts to break free of Exitar’s grip but shockingly enough cannot do it. She uses the last bit of her strength to look up and focus as much Heat Vision as she can muster at the neck of Exitar before he squeezes the life out of the female version of Superman. Silver Surfer sees what his new teammate has done, and focuses his own cosmic blasts in the exact same spot as he flies in at his top speed. While Superwoman’s lifeless body falls to the Metropolitan ground below, Silver Surfer at the last second before impact stops his heavy stream of cosmic energy and jumps off of his board, grabbing it with his hands and then swinging it with all of his might into the weakened spot of Exitar’s neck to knock the Celestial’s head off of his body. The dizzied surfer is caught by his mentally controlled surfboard even though he is having trouble even knowing which way is up after the brutal collision with the Celestial of Death; but he knows that when he last looked his sole remaining teammate the Hulk was being double-teamed by 2 heavyweights. The Silver Surfer does his best to pull himself together and then races back to the original battle site at light speed. When he arrives, he is shocked at what he sees. And who wouldn’t be at the sight of Hulk pounding on the already dead bodies of Destroyer and Juggernaut while he shouts: HULK SMASH HORSEMEN!! In a more earthly than normal fashion Silver Surfer replies with “you’re damn right we did”
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!
Season Three: Week 3: Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade
The Kennelz are Mace Windu, Anakin Skywalker, Ahsoka Tano, Galactus, Nova, Terrax, Firelord, Kratos, 4 Oa Guardians, Saint Walker, Brandon Inge, & Justin Oblak in Mandalorian Armor.
The Brigade is Golden Age Wonder Woman in her Invisible Jet, Jetfire & Jetstorm, Grape Ape, Jack the Giant Killer, Spider Girl, Red Lantern #1, Kingdom Come Flash, Leia Organa-Solo (Jedi), Jaina Solo, Guy Gardner (with Yellow Ring), Padme Amidala, Obi Wan Kenobi, Stass Allie in a Tie Bomber, Anakin Solo, Coleman Trebor, Batgirl, Alia Atreides Ghola, & Jedi Master #31.
“To say it was a nightmare is not doing it justice,” a still shaken Leia Organa-Solo said to her assistant coach, Bo Schembechler. “It was as if none of us were fighting in the same match. I mean, we were all there together, but at the same time, no one could agree on what was happening”.
Bo looked back at her, wearing a face that was less then convinced with her story.
“Have I ever given a reason not to believe me?” Leia was now angry and slammed her hand on her coaches’ desk while she spoke to him. Bo looked at her with a concerned, yet hesitant look on his face and said, “Look Leia, I’m just trying to find out exactly what happened. It’s always important to get all the information together as quickly as possible so we can analyze the match thoroughly. You understand where I’m coming from, don’t you?”
Leia’s anger has subsided for the moment while she took a moment to respond to the legendary leader. “Yes, I understand all of that. Which is why I have told you everything I know about the match.”
Bo: “That’s the problem though Leia, I’m not understanding what you are saying. The story you keep telling me does not describe a clear enough picture of what happened”.
Leia: “That’s as clear as it’s going to get. None of this makes sense to me either, but I don’t know what else you want from me.”
Bo: “I just want to understand exactly what happened out there. Try explaining it one more time to me then. Maybe there is something that you forgot…” Leia starts to interrupt the coach but he stops her immediately and continues to talk over her. “Tell me one more time what happened and I promise I won’t ask you anymore questions. I trust you the most out of anyone who was there. Just try and remember it one more time and I promise you can go.”
Leia looked at Schembechler with distain but obviously still had a great deal of respect for hall of fame head coach, which is why she agreed to the deal. He poured her another cup of coffee and once again began to explain the details of her Coruscantian nightmare.
We started out, well I started out in this shady bar in the lower end of town. It was obvious to me that we had not all started out in the same place. This place is enormous like I said to you earlier. I mean it’ s nothing but a never-ending city. I’ve been there before but I am never quite sure of where I am. It’s almost like nothing is ever familiar, but at the same time everything looks the same. I know that doesn’t make sense but you have to go there to understand what I am talking about.
“I understand all of this Leia, just skip to the fighting. I want to know what happened, not get another Frommer’s guide to Coruscant from you” an already irritated Bo said to her.
Leia with a sly smile on her face that spoke to that fact that she was purposely going into unimportant detail, cut to the chase of what happened.
Like I said, the place is nuts and placing a fight there is all the more crazy. So many innocent people everywhere, I can’t even imagine how many people were killed. The fighting though, well, there was plenty of that. Like I mentioned before, I was in this shady bar with Jack, Spider Girl, Bat Girl, Obi Wan, 31, Alia, my mom and two of my children. We were all pleased to have some semblance of a team, as we figured this place was going to be rough enough even without an opponent.
We were only there for maybe five or ten minutes before our first skirmish began. It was actually strange to see our opponents at first, because it did not seem like we should be fighting them at all. Mace, my father and his Padawan walked into the bar obviously looking for us. It took me a second to notice the other two guys that were with them were even our opponents. That was of course until they started coming at us. Normally non-powers let the powers get the first strike in, but these two guys were different. One of them was wearing a shirt with no sleeves on it carrying a bat and the other had a large suit of armor on. I thought he might be a bounty hunter of some kind, but I just didn’t know. Either way I knew what little calm we may have had was over with.
Obi Wan and I immediately took out our light sabers and began to attack Mace and my dad. My kids jumped at the chance to attack Ahsoka, to which they handled very well. I couldn’t pay too much attention to their fight, but before I was even gaining the upper hand, Jaina had her light saber in the back of the young Padawan. My father was an excellent fighter and I knew that I could not handle him on my own. His speed and control of the force was quite impressive, I totally understood what my mom had always said about him. He wasn’t evil yet; in fact I felt an overwhelming amount of good in him. It was something that I never expected to feel, not on this level at least.
Given, all of this thought and emotion was instantly off set by the fact that he was trying to kill me at the time, but I know this is just a game and I wasn’t going to take it personally. Our fight continued for a while, but not before 31 and my kids joined in. Anakin knew he was out-numbered in this fight and along with Mace, ran out of the bar. We quickly began to follow after them, but not before my mother and father caught a quick glance of each other. It was a strange moment, as if they wanted to embrace but knew that they would be violating some sort of truce in the league.
Regardless, this quick glance was all the time they had, as it was my mothers last moment in the match. Just as Padme looked over at Anakin, Brandon Inge knocked her down to the ground with his bat and the suited guy, whose name is the Golden Boy or something like that, shot her three times in the chest, killing her. I don’t know who was more enraged, my father or myself. I honestly thought Anakin was going to kill his teammates right on the spot, but as it turns out he did not need to.
Immediately Bat Girl and Spider Girl took control of the situation and before either one of the cocky humans could even fight back, they were subdued. Spider Girl grabbed both of them with her webbing, while Bat Girl repeatedly wailed on them. Then Alia slit the throat of Brandon with her Crystknife and Jack stabbed the Golden Boy right through the face with his sword. Mace and Anakin were well on their way outside when out of nowhere, a good friend of mine stopped them in their tracks.
The shear size of Grape Ape is always a shock the first couple of times you see him. There was no exception to this rule this time either, as both my father and Mace stopped immediately and began to find another route to move in. This sudden stoppage in movement gave the rest of us time to corner the Jedi warriors. I rushed my father, while Obi Wan once again took up his fight with master Windu. It was a strange thing fighting my father that day, not because of the fact that he was my father, but because I knew I was going to win.
Given, it was a team effort, but it only took a couple of minutes for me to finish off my father and for Obi-Wan and my Anakin to finish off master Windu. With my team basically intact after this initial fight, I was feeling good about everything. That is when it a turn for the surreal. Wally had been in a state of constant movement, as that is the only state he is able to function in these days. This makes him not so useful in the fighting arena, but it does make him useful in other areas.
During his thousands of trips around the planet already, he had already witnessed many things during this battle that we could have not known about. He had first tried to convey messages to us by crude means, which did not work. Then through the force I was able to understand what he was trying to tell us. It still doesn’t quite make any sense to me what he was trying to say, but now I can at least translate the emotion behind it.
He started telling me to run, but then changed his mind and said to hide. He kept going back in forth on this, which was making it very hard to take what he was saying seriously. After hearing this constant change of mind a dozen or so times he then stopped communicating. Then he said one last thing. It took me a couple of times to understand what it was he was trying to get across to me, because all he said was, “You’re not where you think you are, do what you can to leave.”
That was the last thing he said to me. Then everything changed for good.
After this coach is where it goes all-existential. I will try and tell you what I remember, but I still don’t think you are going to get what you want.
Bo looked directly at here with not an ounce of levity in his face and said, “That’s fine Leia, just tell me it again.”
I was standing outside of the platform with everyone I had been fighting with when all of a sudden I was standing next to my father on Alderaan. He wasn’t speaking to me but I could feel that we were having a conversation. Then out of nowhere I saw a light as bright as a star coming towards the both of us. I pulled him down to the ground to avoid the collision, but when I looked down at him, it was actually Jaina who I was laying on top of. We were on the floor of the Jedi Library, no longer on Alderaan.
Nobody else was around me, but I could tell that nothing was right. It looked and even smelled real, but something about it felt off. I could tell that Jaina was actually there with me, but despite the fact that we seemed to be alone, I knew we were not. We immediately stood up and began to run towards the exit. We ran for only a minute before we were met by another change of scenery, this one involving the death of my daughter. In an instant, we were standing on an air platform in the middle of Coruscant skyline. I was looking down at the cityscape and before I could even regain my balance, something has pierced a staff made of flames through the chest of my daughter.
I screamed out and jumped off the platform in an attempt to chase down her killer, but it was of no use. I was falling for mere seconds when I realized I was back where I began. I looked around me and nearly everyone I had been fighting with was dead. I was naturally in shock of it all and without the help of Guy Gardner, I would not be able to even understand it a little of what happened. I saw Guy coming towards me and though I knew it looked like him, I still feared that it might not be what I thought it was.
Gardner came up to me and said that we did not have much time. He told me that there were only a couple of us left. He said that the 4 Oa Guardians along with Saint Walker had killed everyone I had been fighting with, including Obi Wan and my son. He told me that they were very close and that they were not who we should be truly afraid of. I told him of the bright light and the figure with the flaming staff, but he did not seem to care to listen.
I could see Wonder Woman coming towards us very quickly at this time, but before she was able to make contact, I was once again taken away. At first I was under water, then I was back at the beginning of the match. This time I was watching from an observer’s perspective. I was sitting there watching myself fight my father in the bar, something I remembered doing not that long ago. Then I was in space and soon enough after that, I was watching the rest of my team do battle. I could see Jetfire fly around, killing both Oa Guardian #2 and 3. Red Lantern #1 was doing battle with Saint Walker and Wonder Woman was flying around chasing the creature that killed my daughter.
Red Lantern #1 was eventually able to kill Saint Walker, but was quickly over taken by the two remaining Oa Guardians. Jetfire was now chasing Jaina’s killer (Firelord) along with Wonder Woman and with their combined efforts, were able to destroy the terrible creature. Before I was even able to gather my thoughts, I noticed Stass Allie flying below me in a Tie Bomber. She was chasing something around, but before I could watch the outcome, I was lying underneath a pile of rubble, near nothing that looked familiar.
I could hear faint sounds in the distance and could sense that mass destruction was or had taken place. I looked far off from where I was and could see something massive on the other end of the skyline. Right before I could get a clear look at what it was I thought I was seeing, Gardner and Wonder Woman were upon me again.
Leia: “What the hell is going on”
Gardner: “No time Leia, figured a way for you”.
Leia: “A way for what? What is…”
Wonder Woman: “No time for this. Coleman, Stass and the machines are dead”.
Leia: “But I just saw them…”
Wonder Woman: “It’s who we thought it was. We can’t beat him, but that doesn’t mean…”
Gardner: “Diana, no more time. Just do it.”
Leia: “But I don’t understand, can’t you just explain”.
Gardner: “Is he ready?”
Wonder Woman: “Do it”.
“Then I remember flashes of light for a second and out of the blue, I was back here. I don’t know what happened, I don’t know if anything I saw was true and I have no idea how I died. Now is that enough for you? Did you get anything new from the same story the third time around?” Bo just looked back at her with the same blank face he had been wearing for the last ten minutes.
“Look coach, I don’t know what happened in the match past that. I understand that you are upset about the start of this season, but there was nothing else I could have done in that match. I’m sorry that I lost track of my position and I am sorry I was killed”.
Bo then looked at Leia and the blank look on his face turned into a slight smirk.
Bo: “It’s even more impressive then I originally thought”.
Leia: “Yeah and I what would that be?”
Bo: “The fact that you actually think you died.”
Leia looked at Bo with a look of bewilderment that had pretty much been the makeup of her entire day.
Bo: “I didn’t want to know what happened from a final outcome perspective Leia. I already know what happened in the match. I was more interested in seeing if you had any idea of what happened to you. Wally and Gardner are even better then I ever imagined.”
Leia: “What do you mean I didn’t die? How was I brought back here? I don’t remember a thing. Who won the match?”
Bo: “The outcome was unfortunate for us Leia. Your moments of insanity were the result of coming into contact with Galactus. Your daughter was killed by a herald named Firelord.”
Leia: “If we lost, then why am I still alive?”
Bo: “Because Guy, Diana and Wally found a way for you to live. They knew at a certain point that the match was doomed and that you finding safe haven the old fashioned way was going to be impossible.”
Leia: “Then how did they get me out?"
Bo: “Guy figured out that he could keep you safe in a protective sphere for a short amount of time, hence the reason you were able to watch moments of the match without Galactus’ reality warping effects. Guy knew that if he could protect you in a sphere long enough to get you to Wally, that he might be able to teleport you back to our base. The plan was originally supposed to get you and Wally back safely, but as it turns out, it only was able to save you in the end.”
Leia: “What happened to Guy, Diana and Wally then?”
Bo: “Though they were able to kill Kratos and the remaining Oa Guardians, Galactus and his two remaining heralds were just too much for them to overcome. They sacrificed themselves to keep you alive.”
Leia: “I don’t understand why they would work through all of this just to get me to safety. All of them are so much more powerful then I am. Why not put all of their energy into trying to kill Galactus?”
Bo: “Because you are a born leader, just as I am Leia. Everybody sees it in you. They trust and respect you. You ask me why they spent that much time and energy on saving you, it’s because you have what it takes to lead this team. One day I see you leading this team to victory. You can learn to become a great fighter, but true leadership is something you are born with. So even though we lost today, we still managed to get a small victory in the end.”
Leia looked humbled by his words, but was not going to let him get away with it completely.
Leia: “I never figured you as the sentimental type coach.”
Bo: “Yeah well, don’t expect to see it again anytime soon. I can’t imagine Napoleon finding it as an endearing quality, especially after another loss.”
Leia: “Don’t worry about it coach, your secret is safe with me.
Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve: Galactus, Nova and Terrax survived.
Le’ Napoleon Brigade: Leia Organa-Solo survived.
Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Victorious!
The Brigade is Golden Age Wonder Woman in her Invisible Jet, Jetfire & Jetstorm, Grape Ape, Jack the Giant Killer, Spider Girl, Red Lantern #1, Kingdom Come Flash, Leia Organa-Solo (Jedi), Jaina Solo, Guy Gardner (with Yellow Ring), Padme Amidala, Obi Wan Kenobi, Stass Allie in a Tie Bomber, Anakin Solo, Coleman Trebor, Batgirl, Alia Atreides Ghola, & Jedi Master #31.
“To say it was a nightmare is not doing it justice,” a still shaken Leia Organa-Solo said to her assistant coach, Bo Schembechler. “It was as if none of us were fighting in the same match. I mean, we were all there together, but at the same time, no one could agree on what was happening”.
Bo looked back at her, wearing a face that was less then convinced with her story.
“Have I ever given a reason not to believe me?” Leia was now angry and slammed her hand on her coaches’ desk while she spoke to him. Bo looked at her with a concerned, yet hesitant look on his face and said, “Look Leia, I’m just trying to find out exactly what happened. It’s always important to get all the information together as quickly as possible so we can analyze the match thoroughly. You understand where I’m coming from, don’t you?”
Leia’s anger has subsided for the moment while she took a moment to respond to the legendary leader. “Yes, I understand all of that. Which is why I have told you everything I know about the match.”
Bo: “That’s the problem though Leia, I’m not understanding what you are saying. The story you keep telling me does not describe a clear enough picture of what happened”.
Leia: “That’s as clear as it’s going to get. None of this makes sense to me either, but I don’t know what else you want from me.”
Bo: “I just want to understand exactly what happened out there. Try explaining it one more time to me then. Maybe there is something that you forgot…” Leia starts to interrupt the coach but he stops her immediately and continues to talk over her. “Tell me one more time what happened and I promise I won’t ask you anymore questions. I trust you the most out of anyone who was there. Just try and remember it one more time and I promise you can go.”
Leia looked at Schembechler with distain but obviously still had a great deal of respect for hall of fame head coach, which is why she agreed to the deal. He poured her another cup of coffee and once again began to explain the details of her Coruscantian nightmare.
We started out, well I started out in this shady bar in the lower end of town. It was obvious to me that we had not all started out in the same place. This place is enormous like I said to you earlier. I mean it’ s nothing but a never-ending city. I’ve been there before but I am never quite sure of where I am. It’s almost like nothing is ever familiar, but at the same time everything looks the same. I know that doesn’t make sense but you have to go there to understand what I am talking about.
“I understand all of this Leia, just skip to the fighting. I want to know what happened, not get another Frommer’s guide to Coruscant from you” an already irritated Bo said to her.
Leia with a sly smile on her face that spoke to that fact that she was purposely going into unimportant detail, cut to the chase of what happened.
Like I said, the place is nuts and placing a fight there is all the more crazy. So many innocent people everywhere, I can’t even imagine how many people were killed. The fighting though, well, there was plenty of that. Like I mentioned before, I was in this shady bar with Jack, Spider Girl, Bat Girl, Obi Wan, 31, Alia, my mom and two of my children. We were all pleased to have some semblance of a team, as we figured this place was going to be rough enough even without an opponent.
We were only there for maybe five or ten minutes before our first skirmish began. It was actually strange to see our opponents at first, because it did not seem like we should be fighting them at all. Mace, my father and his Padawan walked into the bar obviously looking for us. It took me a second to notice the other two guys that were with them were even our opponents. That was of course until they started coming at us. Normally non-powers let the powers get the first strike in, but these two guys were different. One of them was wearing a shirt with no sleeves on it carrying a bat and the other had a large suit of armor on. I thought he might be a bounty hunter of some kind, but I just didn’t know. Either way I knew what little calm we may have had was over with.
Obi Wan and I immediately took out our light sabers and began to attack Mace and my dad. My kids jumped at the chance to attack Ahsoka, to which they handled very well. I couldn’t pay too much attention to their fight, but before I was even gaining the upper hand, Jaina had her light saber in the back of the young Padawan. My father was an excellent fighter and I knew that I could not handle him on my own. His speed and control of the force was quite impressive, I totally understood what my mom had always said about him. He wasn’t evil yet; in fact I felt an overwhelming amount of good in him. It was something that I never expected to feel, not on this level at least.
Given, all of this thought and emotion was instantly off set by the fact that he was trying to kill me at the time, but I know this is just a game and I wasn’t going to take it personally. Our fight continued for a while, but not before 31 and my kids joined in. Anakin knew he was out-numbered in this fight and along with Mace, ran out of the bar. We quickly began to follow after them, but not before my mother and father caught a quick glance of each other. It was a strange moment, as if they wanted to embrace but knew that they would be violating some sort of truce in the league.
Regardless, this quick glance was all the time they had, as it was my mothers last moment in the match. Just as Padme looked over at Anakin, Brandon Inge knocked her down to the ground with his bat and the suited guy, whose name is the Golden Boy or something like that, shot her three times in the chest, killing her. I don’t know who was more enraged, my father or myself. I honestly thought Anakin was going to kill his teammates right on the spot, but as it turns out he did not need to.
Immediately Bat Girl and Spider Girl took control of the situation and before either one of the cocky humans could even fight back, they were subdued. Spider Girl grabbed both of them with her webbing, while Bat Girl repeatedly wailed on them. Then Alia slit the throat of Brandon with her Crystknife and Jack stabbed the Golden Boy right through the face with his sword. Mace and Anakin were well on their way outside when out of nowhere, a good friend of mine stopped them in their tracks.
The shear size of Grape Ape is always a shock the first couple of times you see him. There was no exception to this rule this time either, as both my father and Mace stopped immediately and began to find another route to move in. This sudden stoppage in movement gave the rest of us time to corner the Jedi warriors. I rushed my father, while Obi Wan once again took up his fight with master Windu. It was a strange thing fighting my father that day, not because of the fact that he was my father, but because I knew I was going to win.
Given, it was a team effort, but it only took a couple of minutes for me to finish off my father and for Obi-Wan and my Anakin to finish off master Windu. With my team basically intact after this initial fight, I was feeling good about everything. That is when it a turn for the surreal. Wally had been in a state of constant movement, as that is the only state he is able to function in these days. This makes him not so useful in the fighting arena, but it does make him useful in other areas.
During his thousands of trips around the planet already, he had already witnessed many things during this battle that we could have not known about. He had first tried to convey messages to us by crude means, which did not work. Then through the force I was able to understand what he was trying to tell us. It still doesn’t quite make any sense to me what he was trying to say, but now I can at least translate the emotion behind it.
He started telling me to run, but then changed his mind and said to hide. He kept going back in forth on this, which was making it very hard to take what he was saying seriously. After hearing this constant change of mind a dozen or so times he then stopped communicating. Then he said one last thing. It took me a couple of times to understand what it was he was trying to get across to me, because all he said was, “You’re not where you think you are, do what you can to leave.”
That was the last thing he said to me. Then everything changed for good.
After this coach is where it goes all-existential. I will try and tell you what I remember, but I still don’t think you are going to get what you want.
Bo looked directly at here with not an ounce of levity in his face and said, “That’s fine Leia, just tell me it again.”
I was standing outside of the platform with everyone I had been fighting with when all of a sudden I was standing next to my father on Alderaan. He wasn’t speaking to me but I could feel that we were having a conversation. Then out of nowhere I saw a light as bright as a star coming towards the both of us. I pulled him down to the ground to avoid the collision, but when I looked down at him, it was actually Jaina who I was laying on top of. We were on the floor of the Jedi Library, no longer on Alderaan.
Nobody else was around me, but I could tell that nothing was right. It looked and even smelled real, but something about it felt off. I could tell that Jaina was actually there with me, but despite the fact that we seemed to be alone, I knew we were not. We immediately stood up and began to run towards the exit. We ran for only a minute before we were met by another change of scenery, this one involving the death of my daughter. In an instant, we were standing on an air platform in the middle of Coruscant skyline. I was looking down at the cityscape and before I could even regain my balance, something has pierced a staff made of flames through the chest of my daughter.
I screamed out and jumped off the platform in an attempt to chase down her killer, but it was of no use. I was falling for mere seconds when I realized I was back where I began. I looked around me and nearly everyone I had been fighting with was dead. I was naturally in shock of it all and without the help of Guy Gardner, I would not be able to even understand it a little of what happened. I saw Guy coming towards me and though I knew it looked like him, I still feared that it might not be what I thought it was.
Gardner came up to me and said that we did not have much time. He told me that there were only a couple of us left. He said that the 4 Oa Guardians along with Saint Walker had killed everyone I had been fighting with, including Obi Wan and my son. He told me that they were very close and that they were not who we should be truly afraid of. I told him of the bright light and the figure with the flaming staff, but he did not seem to care to listen.
I could see Wonder Woman coming towards us very quickly at this time, but before she was able to make contact, I was once again taken away. At first I was under water, then I was back at the beginning of the match. This time I was watching from an observer’s perspective. I was sitting there watching myself fight my father in the bar, something I remembered doing not that long ago. Then I was in space and soon enough after that, I was watching the rest of my team do battle. I could see Jetfire fly around, killing both Oa Guardian #2 and 3. Red Lantern #1 was doing battle with Saint Walker and Wonder Woman was flying around chasing the creature that killed my daughter.
Red Lantern #1 was eventually able to kill Saint Walker, but was quickly over taken by the two remaining Oa Guardians. Jetfire was now chasing Jaina’s killer (Firelord) along with Wonder Woman and with their combined efforts, were able to destroy the terrible creature. Before I was even able to gather my thoughts, I noticed Stass Allie flying below me in a Tie Bomber. She was chasing something around, but before I could watch the outcome, I was lying underneath a pile of rubble, near nothing that looked familiar.
I could hear faint sounds in the distance and could sense that mass destruction was or had taken place. I looked far off from where I was and could see something massive on the other end of the skyline. Right before I could get a clear look at what it was I thought I was seeing, Gardner and Wonder Woman were upon me again.
Leia: “What the hell is going on”
Gardner: “No time Leia, figured a way for you”.
Leia: “A way for what? What is…”
Wonder Woman: “No time for this. Coleman, Stass and the machines are dead”.
Leia: “But I just saw them…”
Wonder Woman: “It’s who we thought it was. We can’t beat him, but that doesn’t mean…”
Gardner: “Diana, no more time. Just do it.”
Leia: “But I don’t understand, can’t you just explain”.
Gardner: “Is he ready?”
Wonder Woman: “Do it”.
“Then I remember flashes of light for a second and out of the blue, I was back here. I don’t know what happened, I don’t know if anything I saw was true and I have no idea how I died. Now is that enough for you? Did you get anything new from the same story the third time around?” Bo just looked back at her with the same blank face he had been wearing for the last ten minutes.
“Look coach, I don’t know what happened in the match past that. I understand that you are upset about the start of this season, but there was nothing else I could have done in that match. I’m sorry that I lost track of my position and I am sorry I was killed”.
Bo then looked at Leia and the blank look on his face turned into a slight smirk.
Bo: “It’s even more impressive then I originally thought”.
Leia: “Yeah and I what would that be?”
Bo: “The fact that you actually think you died.”
Leia looked at Bo with a look of bewilderment that had pretty much been the makeup of her entire day.
Bo: “I didn’t want to know what happened from a final outcome perspective Leia. I already know what happened in the match. I was more interested in seeing if you had any idea of what happened to you. Wally and Gardner are even better then I ever imagined.”
Leia: “What do you mean I didn’t die? How was I brought back here? I don’t remember a thing. Who won the match?”
Bo: “The outcome was unfortunate for us Leia. Your moments of insanity were the result of coming into contact with Galactus. Your daughter was killed by a herald named Firelord.”
Leia: “If we lost, then why am I still alive?”
Bo: “Because Guy, Diana and Wally found a way for you to live. They knew at a certain point that the match was doomed and that you finding safe haven the old fashioned way was going to be impossible.”
Leia: “Then how did they get me out?"
Bo: “Guy figured out that he could keep you safe in a protective sphere for a short amount of time, hence the reason you were able to watch moments of the match without Galactus’ reality warping effects. Guy knew that if he could protect you in a sphere long enough to get you to Wally, that he might be able to teleport you back to our base. The plan was originally supposed to get you and Wally back safely, but as it turns out, it only was able to save you in the end.”
Leia: “What happened to Guy, Diana and Wally then?”
Bo: “Though they were able to kill Kratos and the remaining Oa Guardians, Galactus and his two remaining heralds were just too much for them to overcome. They sacrificed themselves to keep you alive.”
Leia: “I don’t understand why they would work through all of this just to get me to safety. All of them are so much more powerful then I am. Why not put all of their energy into trying to kill Galactus?”
Bo: “Because you are a born leader, just as I am Leia. Everybody sees it in you. They trust and respect you. You ask me why they spent that much time and energy on saving you, it’s because you have what it takes to lead this team. One day I see you leading this team to victory. You can learn to become a great fighter, but true leadership is something you are born with. So even though we lost today, we still managed to get a small victory in the end.”
Leia looked humbled by his words, but was not going to let him get away with it completely.
Leia: “I never figured you as the sentimental type coach.”
Bo: “Yeah well, don’t expect to see it again anytime soon. I can’t imagine Napoleon finding it as an endearing quality, especially after another loss.”
Leia: “Don’t worry about it coach, your secret is safe with me.
Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve: Galactus, Nova and Terrax survived.
Le’ Napoleon Brigade: Leia Organa-Solo survived.
Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Victorious!
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