The Abomitrons are Naboo Soldier #2-7 in a Hovercraft, Smaug, chuck Norris in a Mail Jeep, The Ghostbusters in a Rhino 4 X 4, Captain America on his motorcycle, Starfire, Raven, Luigie on a scooter, Starship Trooper #51-90, Yaddle, Ax-battler, Tyrius Flare, Gilleus Thunderhead, Underdog, Blade, Kirby, Strife, Mrs. Voorhees, Cerberus, Upgrade Agent #1-3, Abon Sur, Mara Jade (Jedi), Sledgehammer, Iron Monger, Motaro, Commander Cody, Capt. Rex, Elite Clone Trooper #22-31, Montross, Death Adder, Dark Helmet, Zombie Jimmy Nuetron, Zombie #1 & 2, Peregrin Took, Théoden King, Eomer son of Eoman w/ The Rohirim (all 6), Nomad & Baby Bucky, Spider Boy, Ultra Boy, Bucky, Horribul & Creb, Capt. Underpants, The Mountain Dew Transformer, Toadette, The Football Transformer, Banana Man & Pet Crow, Western Ghost Rider, Ninjor, Cream & Cheese, Zufa Cenva, Purple Muscle Men #1-5, Pink Muscle Men #6-10, Skeleton #1-6, Ocean's 11, Immell #7-9, 12, 13, & 19, Jedi Master #37A-47A, Snow Trooper #26-37, Wookie Soldier #31-36, Ape Soldier #1-6, Sandra O, The 1980 US Olympic Hockey Team w/ Herb Brooks & Al Michaels, Olif Golzig, Whistler, Cyborg, Robin (Tim Drake), Robin (Dick Grayson), & Ewok #47 & 51.
Alice's Wonder Team is Leeloo (w/ a red lightsaber), Alice Abernathy (w/ Mandalorian Armor & 2 green lightsabers), Alice Clone #1-3 (all w/ a different colored lightsaber), Jill Valentine, Domino, Ram Man, Gen. Zod, Non, Surtur, Darth Deez, Darth Nutz, Ewok #47, War Machine, Artemis, Brawn, Storm Trooper #50, Jesse Quick, Conan the Barbarian, Jorus C'baoth, Joruus C'baoth, Primus, Grand Admiral Thrawn, SSJ4 Gogeta, Leech, Hyperion, (movie) Rachet, Mandarin, The Predi-alien, (Silver Age)Blue Beetle, Pres. Skroob, Scott Evil, Roger & Jessica Rabbit in a Land Speeder, Dixie Kong, Ben Quadrineros in an F-16, Mala, Fat Bastard, Kyle, Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Anti-Monitor, The Q Continuum: Q, Q2, True Q, Q Representative, Lady Q, q, & Quinn, The Spectre, Capt. Universe, Zombie Mephisto, Zombie Darth Maul, Hoppy the Marvel Bunny, High Evolutionary, Sy-Clone, Ben Andonner, Finn McCool, Buzz-Off, Whiplash, Rio-Blast, Jennifer Check in a Ferrari 456 GTA, Warmaster Tsavong Lah, Anteros, G.I. Jane & Xena Onatop in a Swift Boat, Desmond Howard, Marge, Lisa, & Maggie in a Tank, Fisto, Snapdragon & Crunk, Dorothy & Toto, Lucca Brazzi, Princess Wensica on a 4-Wheeler, Rosey, Mon Mothma, Pink Muscle Man #1-5, Borg #1-3 in a Y-Wing Bomber, Borg #4-10, Jedi Lightsaber Scientist #1 & 2 in F-16's, Mummy #1, & Treasure Troll #17.
Unlike the last time these 2 teams met, Primus does not show up with his normal apathy. Whether his reality is being altered by The Q Continuum again or whether the enormous Transformer simply remembers that this is the team that killed him last season is unsure to even me, but whatever the reason Primus begins the long process of transformation from his planet form to robot form as soon as the battle begins. Capt. America and Robin simultaneously yell “Abomitrons Assemble” & “Abomitrons GO” to rile up the troops. Which definitely works, because The Abomitrons seem to be as riled up as a team can possibly be who are about to attack Primus. In the water, The Naboo Soldiers begin firing on G.I. Jane & Xena Onatop’s swift boat. The female Navy SEAL & her “best friend” fire back but in the end it is The Naboo soldiers who end up winning due to their superior craft and strength in numbers, although 3 of them do die in the crossfire. The Q Continuum decide as a unit that they are not going to take an active role in this particular match, and that they would rather spend the match inside Primus studying his alien technology; but before they do they decide to even the score by simply removing several of The Abomitrons from this plane of existence. The Abomitrons that they feel lend no value to this match are as follows: The remaining Naboo Soldiers, Ax-battler, Tyrius Flare, Gilleus Thunderhead, all 6 Immells, Danny Ocean and his 10 friends, Whistler, Dark Helmet, Commander Cody, Capt. Rex, Elite Clone Trooper #22-31, Jedi Master #37A-47A, The 6 skeletons, Cream, Cheese, Zufa Cenva, Banana Man, Pet Crow, The Football Transformer, Montross, & Capt. Underpants. The Q Continuum then disappears except for The Q Representative who remains as a watchful eye and Quinn who is granted the right to become human. The Q Representative is caught by the Ghostbusters in the containment unit, as they drive by in their Rhino, and Quinn catches a random laser blast from one of The Starship Troopers (#53 if you must know). While The Abomitrons see members of their team just disappearing randomly from the Q attack, they are also under intense attack from The Anti-Monitor. The Wonder Team’s Season 3 First Round Pick has yet to truly go off yet this season. The Anti-Monitor warps reality and then also uses an enormous burst of cosmic power to project raw energy from his body and take out all 40 of The Abomitrons Starship Troopers after he witnesses The Starship Troopers launch a surprise attack that takes out Ben Andonner, Finn McCool, Buzz-Off, and The High Evolutionary with their high-powered weaponry. The Anti-Monitor then continues his reign of terror as he destroys Luigie on his scooter, Underdog, Mrs. Voorhees, & all 15 of the Muscle Men (he didn’t realize (or care) that 5 of them were actually on his own team). Snapdragon & Crunk square off against The Mt. Dew Transformer, but Horribul & Creb come to give him a hand. The Mt. Dew Transformer still bites it, but Horribul & Creb kill their fellow Headmaster duo. Darth Deez and Darth Nutz work as a unit a take out Iron Monger, as well as Sledgehammer and Motaro; but they are then defeated by The 3 Upgraded Agents. The 3 agents then meet up with the 3 lightsaber armed Alice clones and a pitched battle ensues. This battle rages on for quite some time until the real Alice, along with Leeloo and Jill Valentine show up to lend them a hand. In the end the agents are able to take out Alice Clone #1 & 3, but then die at the hands of their look-alikes. Leeloo jumps into action and takes out all 4 of the Ghostbusters with her red lightsaber. She then takes control of their Rhino and drives it into the woods where she is surrounded by 12 combatants. Leeloo fights like the perfect being that she was created to be and takes out all 6 Wookie Soldiers as well as the 6 Ape Soldiers. Her rampage is then finally ended by Yaddle who catches her on the downturn of a perfectly executed back flip. Smaug eats Conan and then toasts The Predi-alien, Leech, and the Southpark Kids (yes including Kenny: bastard)! But Smaug is then consumed by the Asgardian fire of Surtur. Surtur then goes on to kill Horribul & Creb as well as Kirby. Strife mindblocks both Ram Man and Jesse Quick, but is then killed by the lightsabers of both of the C’Baoths. Chuck Norris runs over Ewok #74, Pres. Skroob, & Scott Evil in the mail jeep, and then kicks to death Fat Bastard and Rio-Blast as he drives by. Ben Quadrineros shoots the Mail Jeep from his F-16 and flip it over. Norris pops out unharmed and then picks up the jeep and throws it at Brawn to kill him. Jennifer Check finds herself driving her Ferrari onto a huge patch of ice where she finds that The Abomitrons have taken it over completely. Herb Brooks gives the order to attack and The entire 1980 US Hockey team, along with Olif Golzig skate over and kill her. She actually kills 6 of the Olympians, but in the end they defeat her. Lucca Brazzi goes on a rampage with his shotgun and takes out Zombie Jimmy Nuetron as well as Zombie #1 & 2. He then starts picking off members of The Rohirim until he is out of bullets. He uses his Sicilian rope to strangle Théoden King to death, but then Chuck Norris rushes back into the fray and roundhouse kicks his head off. Starfire and Raven take to the air and blow the 3 mentally linked borg out of the sky by blowing up their Y-Wing. They then fly back down to ground level and finish off their 7 buddies. They fight back against the 2 Teen Titans, but their resistance was futile. Hyperion uses his superior strength to kill Mara Jade, but he is then swallowed whole by one of the heads of Cerberus. Cerberus then crushes Rachet and consumes Mandarin as well. Eomer jumps on the hood of the Rabbit family’s Land Speeder and cuts off both of their heads, and then does the same to Mummy #1, Whiplash, & Dixie Kong before he is killed by Capt. Universe. Capt. Universe along with The Spectre then take out Pippin, Nomad & both Buckys, Tim Drake, The rest of the US Hockey Team, Herb Brooks, and Al Michaels; but luckily they do still believe in miracles and some how upsets just seem to take place when they are around, because although their level of power is significantly higher than hers, they still turn to stone when they look at Sandra O. Sandra O celebrates for a minute by allowing a tractor trailer t run over her face (her very favorite thing to do). Although she is then stomped to death by Hoppy the Marvel Bunny. Warmaster Tsavong Lah tries to use his force blocking powers against Blade, but he doesn’t realize that just because Blade has a lightsaber doesn’t mean he has the force. Blade cuts off The Warmasters head as he stands there blankly (This is the Masters of The Universe Blade we are talking about here in case anybody is confused). Cyborg uses his arm-mounted laser cannon to take out the female Simpsons in their tank while he is unknowingly stepping on Treasure Troll #17. Robin uses some killer moves to take out both Desmond Howard and Fisto with relative ease. Abon Sur takes flight and uses his power ring to take out both of the Jedi Lightsaber Scientists in their F-16’s. Anteros uses a regular old arrow (not the love kind or anything) to kill both ewoks with a pretty gnarly shot. Capt. America rides by on his motorcycle and easily takes out Princess Wensica off her 4-Wheeler, Rosey the Hobbit, Mon Mothma, Grand Admiral Thrawn, Storm Trooper #50, & Dorothy & Toto in one fell swoop. Abon Sur joins forces with Ultra Boy & Spider Boy to kill both Jorus and his clone. After that they move onto Ben Quadrineros in his F-16 and Mala. They kill War Machine & Artemis next, but Spider Boy doesn’t live thru the fight. They then manage to take out Domino, but they are killed by Gen. Zod & Non, with a little help from Gogeta. Zombie Mephisto and Zombie Darth Maul literally eat Toadette & Ninjor for lunch and then make quick work of the 12 Snow Trooper, but they meet their match when Ghost Rider takes out the zombie version of his old nemesis and Cerberus rips apart the zombie Sith. Western Ghost Rider then meets his match when the Mandalorian armored & double green lightsabered Alice flies in and dices him up. Zod and Non then make short work of Eomer and Ninjor, but they require some more help from SSJ4 Gogeta and Hoppy to finally rid themselves of Cerberus. Death Adder uses his massive axe to kill both Anteros and Sy-Clone, but these actions prompt Anti-Monitor to make a final appearance and kill the Golden Axe villain. Even the likes of Anti-Monitor and Zod seemingly back away as they realize that their teammate Primus has finally awakened and is ready to do battle. Captain America rallies his troops together to make a final push to destroy Primus. Only Cap, Chuck Norris, Starfire, Raven, Yaddle, Cyborg, & Robin (Dick Grayson) are still alive. They bravely make a push and attack the massive Transformer, but they lose.
ALICE’S WONDER TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!
Monday, April 26, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
TEAM Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips
TEAM is Ultraman, Owlman, Power Ring, White Martian, Johnny Quick, Mon El, Superboy, Lor Zod, Bloodwind, Ethan Hunt, He-Man w/ Battle Cat, She-Man, King Randor, Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee w/ Bill the Pony, Willow, Jackie Chan, Zombie Jet Li, Bruce Lee, Mr. Miyagi, Mitsurgi, Lord Katsumoto, Galactiac, Iron Lantern, Thanoseid, Thorion, Cronos, Treebeard, Hector, Neo-Cymek #1-12, Cybertronian Guardian #1-6, Galvatron, Apeface & Spasma, Cromedome & Stylor, The Power Dashers: Jet, Car, & Drill, Blaster w/ Rewind, Eject, Ramhorn, Steeljaw, Raindance, & Grandslam, Perceptor, Arcee, Reflector, Wreck-Gar, Hot Rod, Junkeon #11 & 12, Leader 1, Cop-Tur, Ghanima Atreides, Lady Jessica Atreides, Duke Leto Atreides, Duke Paulus Atreides, Krang, Two-Face, The Kurgan, The Eagle, Billy Lee, The Centurions: Ace McLeod, Jake Rockwell, Max Ray, Rex Charger, & John Thunder, The Shining Force, Depa Billaba w/ Jedi Padawan #39A, Crutus Penari w/ Jedi Padawan #38A, Jedi Councilman #2, Zombie Jedi Knight #36, Mike and Laura Sroka (w/ blue lightsabers), Aquamariner, Birdman, Avenger, & Birdboy, Shaun Poteracki, Bomberman.
The Horsemen of Apokolips are Supergirl, Madeline Pryor, Mr. Sinister Serci, Zombie Master Mold, Zombie Master Chief, Shadowcat, Black Queen, Superboy Prime, Luscious Malfoy, Apocalypse, The Myrmidons: Achilles, Sabertooth, Deathstroke (w/ a blue lightsaber), Miho (w/ a blue lightsaber), Taskmaster, Chris Artrip (w/ Mandalorian Armor & a green lightsaber) in The Pimpmobile, & Julie Artrip (w/ a green lightsaber) riding shotgun in the Time Machine Delorean, Larry Reamer (w/ a green lightsaber) driving the Time Machine Delorean, Scar, Hal Jordan Parallax, Sinestro, Amon Sur, Starscream, Sunstorm, Ramjet, The Stunticons: Motor Master, Dead End, Break Down, Wildrider, & Dragstrip, Slag, Snarl, Sludge, Daken, Sixshot, Ryan Poteracki in The Eagle, Josh Houslander Jedi Knight in the Millennium Bucko, Exodus, Destroyer, Annihilus, Monarch, The Joker,/ Major Amos Dundee, Elixir, Cloud Strife, & Vincent Valentine in The Attack Trak, The Witch King w/ Fell Beast, The Balrog of Moria, Moltenadon, Tripticon, Solomon Grundy, Circuit Breaker, Archangel, Guild Navigator #1 in a Guild Heighliner, Juggernaut, Luke Skywalker Grand Jedi Master & Ce Ce Denowi in a Snow Speeder, Capt. Serpentor, Mr. Saeese Tiin, Lt. Mara Jade, & Lt. Jamie Madrox in The USS Enterprise, Gozar the Gozarian, Zuul, Vince Clortho, Tommy Oliver, The Thundercats: Lion-O, Panthro, Cheetara, Jaga, Tigra, The Silverhawks: Quicksilver w/ Tallyhawk, Bluegrass, Steelheart w/ Rayzor, Steelwil w/ Stronghold, The Copper Kid w/ Mayday in Mirage, Hotwing w/ Gyro, Flashback w. Backlash, & Moonstiker w/ Tailspin, G-Force: Mark, Jason, Tiny, Princess, & Keyop in The Phoenix, Jason Voorhees, Pinhead, Hades, Medusa, Armadillo in Rolling Thunder, Stitch in The Quinjet, Fives in an AT-RT, Ravager, Dazzler, KISS: Gene Simmons (w/ a red lightsaber), Paul Stanley (w/ a Heat Axe), Ace Frehley (w/ an Atlas), & Peter Criss (w/ a Halberd),
No two teams in all of Fantasy Fantasy have as much history as TEAM and The Horsemen. Without question the rivalry that these two teams have is the most talked about rivalry in the entire FFL. Respected by all, and hated by most these 2 teams, and the division that they are in a constant battle over have been considered the best in the league since day 1. The battle for the little brown laser as always is an all out brawl with every member of both teams attempting to make a name for themselves; but before we talk about that, I take you into the locker room of The Horsemen of Apokolips before the match even begins. Head Coach Hannibal Lectur visits the suite of Supergirl after the year 1 MVP refused to allow herself to be “summoned” by Coach Lectur to his office. Hannibal brings Luke Skywalker & Apocalypse with him for the visit. Hannibal informs Supergirl that he plans to give her the start this week against their arch-rival TEAM, but Supergirl does not take the news quite like the head coach had hoped. Supergirl responds: “Oh, I see. So after making me sit here on the bench bored and rotting in the locker room, now all the sudden you need me? Well, maybe I’m not interested in starting anymore”. Hannibal responds with: “Supergirl, you must understand that we didn’t need you before, but this is TEAM, they are our arch-rivals and we need your help”. “Ohhh, so you didn’t need me before. That’s funny, it sure looked like you needed me in Week 3 when you got embarrassed by The Right Wing, a NATIONAL LEAGUE team I might add”. says Supergirl. Apocalypse snidely chimes in with: “Hey Coach, why don’t you just threaten to eat her, like you do the other people on the team”? But before Hannibal can tell him he’s out of line Supergirl responds: “Hah, he can go ahead and try, maybe he can have his lackey the Grand Jedi Master over here sweep up his teeth for him afterwards”. “Enough of this, I didn’t come here to argue. I’m the coach and I’m telling you, you got the start this week. Be ready in an hour. And don’t try the apathy bit with me, I know you want to beat TEAM as much as any of us”. Hannibal says. Supergirl gets the last word in as the trio is leaving when she says: “Beat TEAM, ehh: Been there done that”... Back to the battle... All of TEAM stands at the ready, with almost the entire TEAM positioned in between 2 large buildings in the Metropolitan area of the play-off planet. The Horsemen first arrive as one enormous ship, and one that is still very large but is dwarfed by its counterpart. The Guild Heighliner is carrying the majority of the team, even though the only crew it has is The Guild Steersman and a half of a dozen of Jamie Madrox’s duplicates to work the ship’s weapons and surveillance systems. The rest of the team, vehicles and all are simply sitting in the ship’s massive cargo hold, except for the Horsemen who are aboard The USS Enterprise which is of course the ship flanking the massive heighliner in the atmosphere. For TEAM, only Aquamariner and Max Ray are absent from their barricade between the 2 buildings, as they have set up camp in the center of the water, where they will await attack from an outside source. Aside from the Horsemen who are able to exit the Guild Heighliner on their own, the ship delivers the rest of the team down to the ground below, where the battle can finally begin. The Neo-Cymeks are ordered to attack and attack they do as they take out Sludge, Snarl, & Slag,, as well as Daken before they head high into the sky to execute their real mission. The 12 Neo-Cymeks are dwarfed by the 2 huge ships of The Horseman but they fly in swiftly and begin their attack. Jamie Madrox is a major presence in both the heighliner and the Enterprise as his duplicates are running both of the ship’s weapon’s systems. The Guild Heighliner is to large to make any serious movements inside the atmosphere, so its only line of defense is to fire back on the Neo-Cymeks as they are attacking. The Enterprise on the other hand, as ordered by Capt. Serpentor takes evasive action as well as going on the offensive against the Neo-Cymeks. The Guild’s massive las cannons take aim and are able to destroy 3 of the Neo-Cymeks, but eventually the Neo-Cymeks superior firepower plays into the equation and the remaining 9 are able to inflict enough damage to destroy the Guild Heighliner. The massive ship falls from the sky and creates an enormous crater in the desert area of the planet. The Enterprise gains an ally in its fight against the cymeks when Luke and Ce Ce Denowi fly up in the Snow Speeder to aid them. The Cymeks inflict some serious damage on The Enterprise, but in the end Luke’s amazing dog-fighting abilities help to take out 3 of the cymeks while Master Tiin’s great piloting skills and the Enterprise’s numerous weapons systems are able to take out the rest of them. Ultraman leads a team of super-powered flyers up into the air to finish off The Enterprise. He knows that if TEAM is going to win this match then they are going to have to eliminate this nuisance once and for all. Especially since The Enterprise’s artillery attacks on TEAM’s supposed secured area has already taken the lives of Two-face, Cybertronian Guardian #4, Mitsurugi, Bomberman, & The Power Dasher Drill. Ultraman is on his way up to attack The Enterprise when he sees an open opportunity to enact one of his devious plans. Superboy Prime and Scar are flying high above the battle with no one else around them, so Ultraman takes this moment to lead his team of Power Ring, White Martian, Mon El, Superboy, & Lor Zod against them in an attempt to take theses 2 powerful Horsemen out of the equation before they have an opportunity to rejoin their team and do an enormous amount of potential damage. Ultraman and his crew attack the 2 combatants fiercely and take them by surprise. Superboy rime and Scar react quickly and together take out The White Martian, but they are then overwhelmed by the super-powered force and both destroyed. Ultraman is ecstatic at the removal of these 2 high powered Horsemen and then moves his TEAM back into position where they can attack The Enterprise. Ultraman and his crew begin barraging The Enterprise with attacks but The crew of The Enterprise fights back. They focus their firepower to take out Mon El but the remaining TEAMmembers simply do to much damage to the Enterprise. Saeese Tiin, Mara Jade, and a few of the Madrox duplicates make it out of the top hatch of the crashing ship in a last ditch effort to fight for their team, where they are attacked. Master Tiin and the rest of the brave crew are able t kill Power Ring before their demise, but Ultraman orders his TEAM to fall back, which they do. The entire crew of The Enterprise dies as the ship lands not far from the wreckage of The Guild Heighliner in the desert area. The Phoenix and The Miraj fly in together in standard 2 by 2 formation and take out Apeface, Spasma, Cromedome, Stylor, and The Power Dasher Jet all in one strafing run. The 2 ships then part ways, as The Phoenix flies in to attack The 5 Cybertronian Guardians and The Miraj attacks Galactiac. The Phoenix takes out 2 Guardians before the ship is destroyed but G-Force still manages to eject in time to continue the battle. G-Force and the Guardians become locked in a war of attrition with both sides suffering heavily. The Guardians are all destroyed, but only Mark lives thru the battle. Galactiac swats Miraj out of the air killing its pilot Bluegrass, but The Silverhawks have already been shot out of the ship. Galactiac is being swarmed when the battle begins to expand. The remaining Silverhawks that were not inside Miraj show up to help out their buds, but Thanoseid shows up to Quicksilver delivers a blow to the neck of Thanoseid that kills him in an instant, but not before Thanoseid has already taken out Tallyhawk, Flashback, Backlash, Moonstriker, Tailspin, and Steelheart. Galactiac is able to take out the rest of The Silverhawks with his cosmic powers. Luke Skywalker and Ce Ce Denowi fly low in their Snow Speeder and use harpoons and tow cables to tie the 2 Junkeons together, before blowing them both up with one perfectly aimed shot to their cores. They then moves against The Centurions. The 2 Jedi Masters are able to take out both Jake Rockwell and John Thunder from the air but eventually their Snow Speeder is shot down by Ace McLeod. The 2 Jedi Masters, who together have a midi-chlorian count that is higher than 10 average Jedis both eject from the speeder and use their lightsabers to lay waste to not only Ace McLeod and Rex Charger but also The Kurgan and Billy Lee as well. The reluctant team-up of Hal Jordan Parallax and Sinestro lead Amon Sur and Annihilus into the water area to clear out the setting and so they can continue the battle on the front that they seem to be thus far controlling somewhat handedly. The 4 combatants dive into the water and begin their search for the waterTEAM, but at first have no luck. The 4 Horsemen (no pun intended) are then ambushed by both Aquamariner and Max Ray. Aquamariner has a little bit of luck in choosing a spot in Jordan’s aura that must no have been all to reinforced and uses his superior strength to crush his skull before he has time to react. Max Ray then unloads just about every weapon he has in his vast underwater arsenal to annihilate Annihilus. Surprise was definitely the ally of TEAM to begin this skirmish, but once the waterTEAM is discovered Sinestro and Amon Sur are able to lay waste to them with their yellow power rings. Fives in the AT-RT is unable to hit Duke Leto Atreides because of his personal Holtzman shield, but he is able to waste Krang. The Lady Jessica is appalled by the attack on her Duke, even if it was unsuccessful, and her Bene Gesserit training kicks in. She dodges the attacks of the AT-RT and rushes in all by herself. She swings herself around the back of the mini-walker and uses the AT-RT itself as leverage and as a means to spin herself around to the front of it and deliver a powerful kick to the head of Fives that shatters every bone from his shoulders up. Armadillo fires one of Rolling Thunders rocket at Galactiac, which seems to do the job and then shoots the other one at Perceptor (that might have been a waste of a valuable rocket, but that is just my opinion). Perceptor is completely destroyed by this. Galvatron transforms into his cannon form and fires a barrage of shots at Rolling Thunder until it is eventually destroyed. He then transforms back into robot form and uses his arm-mounted cannon to take out The Attack Trak and all of its passengers. Tommy Oliver sees what Galvatron is doing and uses his flute/dagger to call upon the services of The Dragon Zord, but Ethan “Mr. those who can’t do teach” Hunt is eager to make a difference in his first ever FFL match. Since the very beginning of Season 1 Ethan Hunt has been busy training TEAM in the locker room, but after a long wait is now getting his chance to shine. Ethan rushes up behind Tommy and kicks the flute out of his hand. He then begins battling with Tommy. The kung fu moves that the 2 of them throw down rival any Norris movie ever made but eventually Ethan knocks Oliver down and then delivers a crushing leg blow to his face. Ethan then pulls out his Beretta and unloads the clip on the green flute/dagger which destroys the power and makes The Dragon Zord fall over turning into nothing more than a useless hunk of metal. The Witch King, Moltenadon, & The Balrog of Moria attack the Shining Force. The Shining Force’s Samurai Warrior uses his Katana to kill The Witch King’s Fell Beast and knock him to the ground but once the Witch King gets to his feet he makes short work of both the samurai and the ninja, whose Doom Blade and magical spells prove all but useless against The Lead Ringwraith. Moltenadon and The Moria Balrog go off and easily wipe out all of The Shining Force’s knights, healers, and flyers. They also kill Gort and Domingo (before he can use his mastery of the Freeze spell). Tao casts Blaze 4 on The Witch King but he still keeps coming. Anri then casts Freeze 4 on The Balrog of Moria which actually freezes the balrog and kills him. Max takes a cue from this and then uses the Chaos Breaker on Moltenadon which has the same effect. The Witch King walks right thru the Blaze spell and crushes Willow as well, who had come to aid The Shining Force. The small and unassuming Tao then pulls out her Demon Rod and sticks it into the side The Witch King, proving that although no man can kill The Ringwraith, that a woman can. Only Max, Tao, Anri, Luke, & Zylo remain alive from The Shining Force. Blaster ejects all of his tapes and then notices a little white Jeep racing towards them at its top speed (about 65 MPH). Blaster says: “What kind of crazy car is that, looks like an ice cream truck with out the killer tunes”. The vehicle doesn’t seem to be slowing down at all as it comes toward them. Blaster adds once again: “I think this driver has a kamikaze death wish”. The Jeep then rams into the mini-gestalt of Grandslam blowing up both them and the male jeep. Jedi Knight Josh Houslander, who has actually jumped out of the moving vehicle a little while ago thinks to himself “that it is a good thing I remembered that the throttle sticks on that thing whenever you double stomp the gas peddle or that never would have worked. Josh then ignites his blue lightsaber and jumps into action. Josh force pushes Steeljaw and then cuts off his metal head and screams: “Why the hell aren’t you called Fast Forward as he uses his lightsaber to totally jack up Eject. Unfortunately for the studly Jedi Knight (it’s kind of hard to tell him and Ethan Hunt apart on the battle field in all honesty) Rewind gets a hit in on Josh and Blaster finishes him off with a huge metal fist that crushes him into the ground. Ryan sees his best bud Josh get wasted by the Autobots and rushes in in The Eagle. Ryan guns it and heads toward Blaster but as he attempts to jump out the damn driver door lock starts acting up again and he gets stuck in the truck. “Well at least I’m gonna totally take an Autobot out with me” Ryan says aloud to himself as he crashes his Dakota into Blaster and blasts them both apart. Chris Artrip is passing by in The Pimpmobile with Deathstroke, Miho, & Taskmaster all crammed in with him. Taskmaster says: “Yo Fizz, wasn’t that your buddies that just got wasted back there”? Miho adds: “I say we go avenge them”. Artifact spins the Pimpmobile around even though they all know that they are supposed to meeting up with Achilles and Sabertooth a couple of blocks away and says: “yeah, I guess we should. Maybe we wouldn’t have to if those 2 geniuses knew how to put a car in park” Fizzle says as he is doing just that. They jump out of the fine piece of 80’s technology and Fizzle lays down some blaster bolts as cover for the Myrmidons to make short work of the remaining 2 tapes, they then take it a little further and whoop up on all 3 parts of Reflector as well before hopping back in The Pimpmobile and racing to the rendezvous point with Achilles. Mike and Laura are getting used to their lightsabers and are already pretty decent with them. The 2 of them continue with TEAM’s surprise attack theme for the day and take out Jaga and Tigra before the 2 Thundercats even know that they are there. Mike and Laura then run out into the street at the worst possible time for them. Z and the Myrmidons are already running late to meet up with Achilles and Sabertooth when Chris sees Mike and Laura right in front of his car. “Sorry Sorks” he says as he plows over both of them with the Cavalier. The 4 Pimpmobile bound Myrmidons finally arrive to meet up with Achilles and Sabertooth who have already killed Depa Billaba and her Padawan despite their Vandpuun fighting skills. They hop out of the car and Achilles asks them what took them so long. Chris answers with: “Sorry boss, I ran into some old friends”. Hector leads Thorion, Cronos, & Treebeard against the Myrmidons (minus Julie of course cause she is chillin in the Delorean with Pipes). Achilles rushes up on Treebeard and starts hacking away at the living tree while the other Myrmidons (3 of whom ignite their lightsabers) jump into action as well. Chris goes into melee attack mode and has his brother in laws old Katana in his left hand with his lightsaber in his right. He rushes Thorion, but the amalgam character is able to crush Artrip and crush him, Mandalorian Armor and all. Deadly little Miho is able to use the death of her fellow Myrmidon to their advantage though and get in close enough to put her lightsaber thru the neck of Thorion. Achilles back-flips off of the now dead Treebeard but ironically enough has his foot cut off by the blade of Hector. The Trojan then stands over his rival and finishes him off with a swift sword to the throat. Sabertooth jumps into avenge his captain and eventually comes out on top of the brawl with Hector. Cronos uses his godlike (never mind, I guess if you are a god, than you aren’t just godlike) strength to rip Miho and Taskmaster apart. He then pulls Sabertooth’s head clean off of his body but is killed when his head is removed by the lightsaber of Deathstroke. Apocalypse squares off against Iron Lantern and kills him when he grows to three times the size of Iron Lantern and crushes him thru his energy aura with his size variable mutant strength. The slow blade penetrates the shield, which is how Luke and Denowi are able to kill both Duke Leto and his father Paulus. The Eagle then uses some majorly advanced mental technology that even my superior Watcher brain can’t understand to kill Ce Ce Denowi but Luke is still able to tap into the force enough to cut off his air supply and kill The Eagle. Bloodwind attacks Gozar the Gozarian but Gozar disappears and then returns as a ball of fire to kill Bloodwind. He-Man atop Battle Cat and She-Man then attack Gozar who is now in the form of an all powerful Skeletor, but the 2 of them are able to combine their heroic abilities and defeat him. Battle Cat does not survive the battle. Zuul and Vince Clortho attack the 2 hobbits and knock Sam off of Bill the Pony. They pounce on the faithful little pony and kill him but the 2 hobbits have an amazing amount of bravery packed into their little bodies, and are able to pull their daggers (Sting in Frodo’s case) and finish off the 2 followers of the now dead Gozar. Stitch crashes the Quinjet into Wreck-gar to blow him to bits and then jumps out to continue fighting. He meets up with Zombie Jet Li and then can’t compete with his Zombie hunger fueled Kung Fu, Jet Li enjoys his little blue meal very much. Gene Simmons leads KISS and Dazzler, who is fueling their music with her powers while they use both this advantage and their new weapons to take out Owlman and Johnny Quick, although Peter Criss and Paul Stanley do not survive the attack. Jason Voorhees takes out Crutus Penari’s padawan (#38A), but Zombie Jedi Knight #36 is able to overtake Jason and happily devour his evil soul. Crutus Penari and The Jedi Councilman overtake Pinhead with their lightsabers and then mow thru Panthro and Cheetara as well. Liono takes out The Jedi Councilman but is sliced in half by Penari’s yellow lightsaber. Luke attacks Crutus and is unaware of Crutus’ lightsaber and what it can do. Penari’s lightsaber cuts thru Luke’s and leaves the Grand Jedi Master defenseless. Luke is still able to use his superior mastery of the force to force push Crutus into a wall which cracks his neck. Larry and Julie are flying around in the Delorean when they begin being chased by Ultraman. They know that they have nothing they can do to defeat him and try to escape but they just can’t seem to shake the evil Superman. “Just get us out of here” Julie screams as Ultraman continues to stay up on them. Larry activates the flux compasitor and the Delorean blasts into the future. They didn’t bother to set the dates do to the circumstances, but they find themselves 10 hours into the future where they see nothing more than me, the all powerful Watcher flying away saying the words: TEAM IS VICTORIOUS”! Larry and Julie are shocked, but before they have an opportunity to react Birdman catches a glimpse of them while the remaining members of TEAM are going back to base. Birdman, along with Birdboy and Avenger fly over to attack what they know are Horsemen. Birdman flies up fast on the Delorean and attacks but Larry takes evasive action. Julie then in a daring move opens up the gull wing door and knocks Birdman back several feet, stunning him and buying them a little more time....... TIME...... THEY DON’T NEED TIME.... THEY HAVE A TIME MACHINE. Julie then jumps out the open door and hops onto the roof of the Delorean. “What the hell are you doing, you’re as crazy as your brother” Larry screams to Julie as she is on top of the car. Julie then pulls out her brother’s old Glock 27 and pops a .40 in Birdboy like it ain’t no thang. Avenger then flies in towards Julie, but she drops the glock and ignites her green lightsaber just in time to cut the bird in half. Larry screams to Julie: Okay, good work, now get back in the car, we’re like a zillion feet in the air“. Julie begins to climb into the car when Birdman regains his bearings and flies back toward them. Birdman punches Julie and knocks her off the car sending her plummeting to her doom, but as she is falling out Larry hears her say: “It’s not to late Larry, you can still change it”. Larry then pulls the passenger door closed and swings the car around. He aims the jets at Birdman and fries him as he resets the flux compasitor once again and brings it up to 88 MPH. Motor Master orders the Stunticons to merge to form Menacer; and the Gestalt and Sinestro then follow the lead of Supergirl as she decides that she is actually going to show up in this battle and do something. For TEAM, He-Man leads Ultraman, Superboy, Lor Zod, & Galvatron in an “all-out-go-crazy-lets-wrap-this-match-up-sometime-before-next-week-attack as well. This TEAM-up works as a unit and wipes out some heavy-hitters including Madeline Pryor, Mr. Sinister, Serci, Zombie Master Mold, Zombie Master Chief, Amon Sur Shadowcat, Black Queen, Luscious Malfoy, Mark, Ravager, Dazzler, Gene Simmons, & Ace Frehley. Apocalypse kills Lor Zod, but he eventually falls to this wicked team-up as well. Supergirl’s team is joined by Starscream and Sunstorm and they go crazy killing Ethan Hunt, She-Man, King Randor, Frodo, Sam, Shaun Poteracki, Zombie Jedi Knight #36, Max, Tao, Luke, Anri, & Zylo. Circuit Breaker is able to fry the insides of both Leader 1 and Cop-Tur, but is then killed by the stealthy little Ghanima Atreides. Hot Rod uses his arm mounted lasers to take out Solomon Grundy, but Juggernaut then runs right thru the center of him. Monarch crushes Lady Jessica and her granddaughter Ghanima, but Monarch is then blown to pieces by Galvatron. Exodus easily wipes out Arcee Zombie Jet Li, and The Power Dasher Car, but he is then overtaken by He-Man and his super-group of bad-a**es, Destroyer meets the same fate as Exodus, once he meets up with The Ultraman/Superboy combo. Galvatron knows exactly where to hit Menacer to blow him to bits, and Lord Katsumoto along with his stealth team of Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, and Mr. Miyagi are actually able to take out Sinestro. Ultraman sends Hades to hell and Superboy makes Medusa Stone cold, while He-Man stops Juggernaut and uses his lifeless body to ground Archangel. Galvatron, is fighting like a Decepticon possessed as he is so eager, as a first round pick from last year to prove that they can beat The Horsemen without Superman and Unicron so he blasts Ramjet out of the air, but he is then taken out as Sunstorm does what he does best and crashes into Galvatron letting off an explosion that no only kills both of them, but takes out Mr. Miyagi and The Joker as well who was busy humming the best around and trying to taunt Miyagi with imitation karate moves. He-Man punches right thru Sixshot, while Ultraman and Superboy rocket thru Tripticon. Starscream then flies by out of nowhere and lights up He-Man like the 4th of July yo. Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, & Lord Katsumoto attack Deathstroke and win, but only Katsumoto survives the meeting. At this point Ultraman has his entire TEAM regroup back on top of the highest skyscraper on the play-off planet (ya know Josh Houslander tower). Only Ultraman, Superboy, & Lord Katsumoto remain for TEAM, but only Supergirl and the lightsaberless Luke Skywalker remain for The Horsemen. Luke feels very uneasy and feels a sense of hopelessness that he has not faced in many years. He rushes toward the 2 Kryptonians and the samurai lord but Ultraman merely pushes him with his palm and sends him falling off of the roof. Supergirl stands alone on the roof when Katsumoto says: “She was the league’s MVP and the first person to ever kill Superman, we should not take her lightly”. “Oh, it won’t be lightly, we and Jr. over here are gonna give it to her nice and heavy”. Says Ultraman. Superboy says: “She’ outnumbered, we can take her”. Supergirl stands by defiant, but she knows in her heart that she can’t take the 2 of them by herself. But suddenly the Delorean comes hovering into view with Luke Skywalker on its hood. “I thought you could use a hand Supergirl, oh and by the way Luke, you owe me one“. Larry says to his fellow Horsemen. Larry then grabs the lightsaber off of his belt and throws it to Luke saying: “I have a feeling that you’ll put this to better use than I will”. Luke smiles at TEAM as he catches it but Ultraman says: “Fine, we’ll kill them both”. But Larry adds: “Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I brought back some help”. At this cue, the passenger gull wing door opens and both Superboy Prime and Scar pop out. “Remember us” the evil little guardian Scar says. Supergirl, Scar, Superboy Prime, & Luke then rip both Ultraman and Superboy apart, while Larry is still parking the Delorean. Lord Katsumoto is on the ground with 2 broken legs, but still kneeling to stay up and defiant to the end. Luke says to him: “Well, it looks like we’ve beat TEAM again”. Katsumoto replies with: “You didn’t beat TEAM, you beat team. Are best players are sitting home and we still almost beat you”. This is no victory for you, we’ll see you in the play-offs, now FINISH THIS”. Katsumoto of course wants Luke to cut off his head, so he can die honorably, but Luke says: “No, it’s not the Jedi way”. Luke refuses to end his life and then tosses the lightsaber back to its owner; Larry’s no Jedi, and he doesn’t mind doing Katsumoto the favor. The Horsemen are all celebrating on the rooftops except for Supergirl. Larry says: “Come on Supergirl, we just beat TEAM, how about a little excitement”. Supergirl replies: “Been there done that”.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!
The Horsemen of Apokolips are Supergirl, Madeline Pryor, Mr. Sinister Serci, Zombie Master Mold, Zombie Master Chief, Shadowcat, Black Queen, Superboy Prime, Luscious Malfoy, Apocalypse, The Myrmidons: Achilles, Sabertooth, Deathstroke (w/ a blue lightsaber), Miho (w/ a blue lightsaber), Taskmaster, Chris Artrip (w/ Mandalorian Armor & a green lightsaber) in The Pimpmobile, & Julie Artrip (w/ a green lightsaber) riding shotgun in the Time Machine Delorean, Larry Reamer (w/ a green lightsaber) driving the Time Machine Delorean, Scar, Hal Jordan Parallax, Sinestro, Amon Sur, Starscream, Sunstorm, Ramjet, The Stunticons: Motor Master, Dead End, Break Down, Wildrider, & Dragstrip, Slag, Snarl, Sludge, Daken, Sixshot, Ryan Poteracki in The Eagle, Josh Houslander Jedi Knight in the Millennium Bucko, Exodus, Destroyer, Annihilus, Monarch, The Joker,/ Major Amos Dundee, Elixir, Cloud Strife, & Vincent Valentine in The Attack Trak, The Witch King w/ Fell Beast, The Balrog of Moria, Moltenadon, Tripticon, Solomon Grundy, Circuit Breaker, Archangel, Guild Navigator #1 in a Guild Heighliner, Juggernaut, Luke Skywalker Grand Jedi Master & Ce Ce Denowi in a Snow Speeder, Capt. Serpentor, Mr. Saeese Tiin, Lt. Mara Jade, & Lt. Jamie Madrox in The USS Enterprise, Gozar the Gozarian, Zuul, Vince Clortho, Tommy Oliver, The Thundercats: Lion-O, Panthro, Cheetara, Jaga, Tigra, The Silverhawks: Quicksilver w/ Tallyhawk, Bluegrass, Steelheart w/ Rayzor, Steelwil w/ Stronghold, The Copper Kid w/ Mayday in Mirage, Hotwing w/ Gyro, Flashback w. Backlash, & Moonstiker w/ Tailspin, G-Force: Mark, Jason, Tiny, Princess, & Keyop in The Phoenix, Jason Voorhees, Pinhead, Hades, Medusa, Armadillo in Rolling Thunder, Stitch in The Quinjet, Fives in an AT-RT, Ravager, Dazzler, KISS: Gene Simmons (w/ a red lightsaber), Paul Stanley (w/ a Heat Axe), Ace Frehley (w/ an Atlas), & Peter Criss (w/ a Halberd),
No two teams in all of Fantasy Fantasy have as much history as TEAM and The Horsemen. Without question the rivalry that these two teams have is the most talked about rivalry in the entire FFL. Respected by all, and hated by most these 2 teams, and the division that they are in a constant battle over have been considered the best in the league since day 1. The battle for the little brown laser as always is an all out brawl with every member of both teams attempting to make a name for themselves; but before we talk about that, I take you into the locker room of The Horsemen of Apokolips before the match even begins. Head Coach Hannibal Lectur visits the suite of Supergirl after the year 1 MVP refused to allow herself to be “summoned” by Coach Lectur to his office. Hannibal brings Luke Skywalker & Apocalypse with him for the visit. Hannibal informs Supergirl that he plans to give her the start this week against their arch-rival TEAM, but Supergirl does not take the news quite like the head coach had hoped. Supergirl responds: “Oh, I see. So after making me sit here on the bench bored and rotting in the locker room, now all the sudden you need me? Well, maybe I’m not interested in starting anymore”. Hannibal responds with: “Supergirl, you must understand that we didn’t need you before, but this is TEAM, they are our arch-rivals and we need your help”. “Ohhh, so you didn’t need me before. That’s funny, it sure looked like you needed me in Week 3 when you got embarrassed by The Right Wing, a NATIONAL LEAGUE team I might add”. says Supergirl. Apocalypse snidely chimes in with: “Hey Coach, why don’t you just threaten to eat her, like you do the other people on the team”? But before Hannibal can tell him he’s out of line Supergirl responds: “Hah, he can go ahead and try, maybe he can have his lackey the Grand Jedi Master over here sweep up his teeth for him afterwards”. “Enough of this, I didn’t come here to argue. I’m the coach and I’m telling you, you got the start this week. Be ready in an hour. And don’t try the apathy bit with me, I know you want to beat TEAM as much as any of us”. Hannibal says. Supergirl gets the last word in as the trio is leaving when she says: “Beat TEAM, ehh: Been there done that”... Back to the battle... All of TEAM stands at the ready, with almost the entire TEAM positioned in between 2 large buildings in the Metropolitan area of the play-off planet. The Horsemen first arrive as one enormous ship, and one that is still very large but is dwarfed by its counterpart. The Guild Heighliner is carrying the majority of the team, even though the only crew it has is The Guild Steersman and a half of a dozen of Jamie Madrox’s duplicates to work the ship’s weapons and surveillance systems. The rest of the team, vehicles and all are simply sitting in the ship’s massive cargo hold, except for the Horsemen who are aboard The USS Enterprise which is of course the ship flanking the massive heighliner in the atmosphere. For TEAM, only Aquamariner and Max Ray are absent from their barricade between the 2 buildings, as they have set up camp in the center of the water, where they will await attack from an outside source. Aside from the Horsemen who are able to exit the Guild Heighliner on their own, the ship delivers the rest of the team down to the ground below, where the battle can finally begin. The Neo-Cymeks are ordered to attack and attack they do as they take out Sludge, Snarl, & Slag,, as well as Daken before they head high into the sky to execute their real mission. The 12 Neo-Cymeks are dwarfed by the 2 huge ships of The Horseman but they fly in swiftly and begin their attack. Jamie Madrox is a major presence in both the heighliner and the Enterprise as his duplicates are running both of the ship’s weapon’s systems. The Guild Heighliner is to large to make any serious movements inside the atmosphere, so its only line of defense is to fire back on the Neo-Cymeks as they are attacking. The Enterprise on the other hand, as ordered by Capt. Serpentor takes evasive action as well as going on the offensive against the Neo-Cymeks. The Guild’s massive las cannons take aim and are able to destroy 3 of the Neo-Cymeks, but eventually the Neo-Cymeks superior firepower plays into the equation and the remaining 9 are able to inflict enough damage to destroy the Guild Heighliner. The massive ship falls from the sky and creates an enormous crater in the desert area of the planet. The Enterprise gains an ally in its fight against the cymeks when Luke and Ce Ce Denowi fly up in the Snow Speeder to aid them. The Cymeks inflict some serious damage on The Enterprise, but in the end Luke’s amazing dog-fighting abilities help to take out 3 of the cymeks while Master Tiin’s great piloting skills and the Enterprise’s numerous weapons systems are able to take out the rest of them. Ultraman leads a team of super-powered flyers up into the air to finish off The Enterprise. He knows that if TEAM is going to win this match then they are going to have to eliminate this nuisance once and for all. Especially since The Enterprise’s artillery attacks on TEAM’s supposed secured area has already taken the lives of Two-face, Cybertronian Guardian #4, Mitsurugi, Bomberman, & The Power Dasher Drill. Ultraman is on his way up to attack The Enterprise when he sees an open opportunity to enact one of his devious plans. Superboy Prime and Scar are flying high above the battle with no one else around them, so Ultraman takes this moment to lead his team of Power Ring, White Martian, Mon El, Superboy, & Lor Zod against them in an attempt to take theses 2 powerful Horsemen out of the equation before they have an opportunity to rejoin their team and do an enormous amount of potential damage. Ultraman and his crew attack the 2 combatants fiercely and take them by surprise. Superboy rime and Scar react quickly and together take out The White Martian, but they are then overwhelmed by the super-powered force and both destroyed. Ultraman is ecstatic at the removal of these 2 high powered Horsemen and then moves his TEAM back into position where they can attack The Enterprise. Ultraman and his crew begin barraging The Enterprise with attacks but The crew of The Enterprise fights back. They focus their firepower to take out Mon El but the remaining TEAMmembers simply do to much damage to the Enterprise. Saeese Tiin, Mara Jade, and a few of the Madrox duplicates make it out of the top hatch of the crashing ship in a last ditch effort to fight for their team, where they are attacked. Master Tiin and the rest of the brave crew are able t kill Power Ring before their demise, but Ultraman orders his TEAM to fall back, which they do. The entire crew of The Enterprise dies as the ship lands not far from the wreckage of The Guild Heighliner in the desert area. The Phoenix and The Miraj fly in together in standard 2 by 2 formation and take out Apeface, Spasma, Cromedome, Stylor, and The Power Dasher Jet all in one strafing run. The 2 ships then part ways, as The Phoenix flies in to attack The 5 Cybertronian Guardians and The Miraj attacks Galactiac. The Phoenix takes out 2 Guardians before the ship is destroyed but G-Force still manages to eject in time to continue the battle. G-Force and the Guardians become locked in a war of attrition with both sides suffering heavily. The Guardians are all destroyed, but only Mark lives thru the battle. Galactiac swats Miraj out of the air killing its pilot Bluegrass, but The Silverhawks have already been shot out of the ship. Galactiac is being swarmed when the battle begins to expand. The remaining Silverhawks that were not inside Miraj show up to help out their buds, but Thanoseid shows up to Quicksilver delivers a blow to the neck of Thanoseid that kills him in an instant, but not before Thanoseid has already taken out Tallyhawk, Flashback, Backlash, Moonstriker, Tailspin, and Steelheart. Galactiac is able to take out the rest of The Silverhawks with his cosmic powers. Luke Skywalker and Ce Ce Denowi fly low in their Snow Speeder and use harpoons and tow cables to tie the 2 Junkeons together, before blowing them both up with one perfectly aimed shot to their cores. They then moves against The Centurions. The 2 Jedi Masters are able to take out both Jake Rockwell and John Thunder from the air but eventually their Snow Speeder is shot down by Ace McLeod. The 2 Jedi Masters, who together have a midi-chlorian count that is higher than 10 average Jedis both eject from the speeder and use their lightsabers to lay waste to not only Ace McLeod and Rex Charger but also The Kurgan and Billy Lee as well. The reluctant team-up of Hal Jordan Parallax and Sinestro lead Amon Sur and Annihilus into the water area to clear out the setting and so they can continue the battle on the front that they seem to be thus far controlling somewhat handedly. The 4 combatants dive into the water and begin their search for the waterTEAM, but at first have no luck. The 4 Horsemen (no pun intended) are then ambushed by both Aquamariner and Max Ray. Aquamariner has a little bit of luck in choosing a spot in Jordan’s aura that must no have been all to reinforced and uses his superior strength to crush his skull before he has time to react. Max Ray then unloads just about every weapon he has in his vast underwater arsenal to annihilate Annihilus. Surprise was definitely the ally of TEAM to begin this skirmish, but once the waterTEAM is discovered Sinestro and Amon Sur are able to lay waste to them with their yellow power rings. Fives in the AT-RT is unable to hit Duke Leto Atreides because of his personal Holtzman shield, but he is able to waste Krang. The Lady Jessica is appalled by the attack on her Duke, even if it was unsuccessful, and her Bene Gesserit training kicks in. She dodges the attacks of the AT-RT and rushes in all by herself. She swings herself around the back of the mini-walker and uses the AT-RT itself as leverage and as a means to spin herself around to the front of it and deliver a powerful kick to the head of Fives that shatters every bone from his shoulders up. Armadillo fires one of Rolling Thunders rocket at Galactiac, which seems to do the job and then shoots the other one at Perceptor (that might have been a waste of a valuable rocket, but that is just my opinion). Perceptor is completely destroyed by this. Galvatron transforms into his cannon form and fires a barrage of shots at Rolling Thunder until it is eventually destroyed. He then transforms back into robot form and uses his arm-mounted cannon to take out The Attack Trak and all of its passengers. Tommy Oliver sees what Galvatron is doing and uses his flute/dagger to call upon the services of The Dragon Zord, but Ethan “Mr. those who can’t do teach” Hunt is eager to make a difference in his first ever FFL match. Since the very beginning of Season 1 Ethan Hunt has been busy training TEAM in the locker room, but after a long wait is now getting his chance to shine. Ethan rushes up behind Tommy and kicks the flute out of his hand. He then begins battling with Tommy. The kung fu moves that the 2 of them throw down rival any Norris movie ever made but eventually Ethan knocks Oliver down and then delivers a crushing leg blow to his face. Ethan then pulls out his Beretta and unloads the clip on the green flute/dagger which destroys the power and makes The Dragon Zord fall over turning into nothing more than a useless hunk of metal. The Witch King, Moltenadon, & The Balrog of Moria attack the Shining Force. The Shining Force’s Samurai Warrior uses his Katana to kill The Witch King’s Fell Beast and knock him to the ground but once the Witch King gets to his feet he makes short work of both the samurai and the ninja, whose Doom Blade and magical spells prove all but useless against The Lead Ringwraith. Moltenadon and The Moria Balrog go off and easily wipe out all of The Shining Force’s knights, healers, and flyers. They also kill Gort and Domingo (before he can use his mastery of the Freeze spell). Tao casts Blaze 4 on The Witch King but he still keeps coming. Anri then casts Freeze 4 on The Balrog of Moria which actually freezes the balrog and kills him. Max takes a cue from this and then uses the Chaos Breaker on Moltenadon which has the same effect. The Witch King walks right thru the Blaze spell and crushes Willow as well, who had come to aid The Shining Force. The small and unassuming Tao then pulls out her Demon Rod and sticks it into the side The Witch King, proving that although no man can kill The Ringwraith, that a woman can. Only Max, Tao, Anri, Luke, & Zylo remain alive from The Shining Force. Blaster ejects all of his tapes and then notices a little white Jeep racing towards them at its top speed (about 65 MPH). Blaster says: “What kind of crazy car is that, looks like an ice cream truck with out the killer tunes”. The vehicle doesn’t seem to be slowing down at all as it comes toward them. Blaster adds once again: “I think this driver has a kamikaze death wish”. The Jeep then rams into the mini-gestalt of Grandslam blowing up both them and the male jeep. Jedi Knight Josh Houslander, who has actually jumped out of the moving vehicle a little while ago thinks to himself “that it is a good thing I remembered that the throttle sticks on that thing whenever you double stomp the gas peddle or that never would have worked. Josh then ignites his blue lightsaber and jumps into action. Josh force pushes Steeljaw and then cuts off his metal head and screams: “Why the hell aren’t you called Fast Forward as he uses his lightsaber to totally jack up Eject. Unfortunately for the studly Jedi Knight (it’s kind of hard to tell him and Ethan Hunt apart on the battle field in all honesty) Rewind gets a hit in on Josh and Blaster finishes him off with a huge metal fist that crushes him into the ground. Ryan sees his best bud Josh get wasted by the Autobots and rushes in in The Eagle. Ryan guns it and heads toward Blaster but as he attempts to jump out the damn driver door lock starts acting up again and he gets stuck in the truck. “Well at least I’m gonna totally take an Autobot out with me” Ryan says aloud to himself as he crashes his Dakota into Blaster and blasts them both apart. Chris Artrip is passing by in The Pimpmobile with Deathstroke, Miho, & Taskmaster all crammed in with him. Taskmaster says: “Yo Fizz, wasn’t that your buddies that just got wasted back there”? Miho adds: “I say we go avenge them”. Artifact spins the Pimpmobile around even though they all know that they are supposed to meeting up with Achilles and Sabertooth a couple of blocks away and says: “yeah, I guess we should. Maybe we wouldn’t have to if those 2 geniuses knew how to put a car in park” Fizzle says as he is doing just that. They jump out of the fine piece of 80’s technology and Fizzle lays down some blaster bolts as cover for the Myrmidons to make short work of the remaining 2 tapes, they then take it a little further and whoop up on all 3 parts of Reflector as well before hopping back in The Pimpmobile and racing to the rendezvous point with Achilles. Mike and Laura are getting used to their lightsabers and are already pretty decent with them. The 2 of them continue with TEAM’s surprise attack theme for the day and take out Jaga and Tigra before the 2 Thundercats even know that they are there. Mike and Laura then run out into the street at the worst possible time for them. Z and the Myrmidons are already running late to meet up with Achilles and Sabertooth when Chris sees Mike and Laura right in front of his car. “Sorry Sorks” he says as he plows over both of them with the Cavalier. The 4 Pimpmobile bound Myrmidons finally arrive to meet up with Achilles and Sabertooth who have already killed Depa Billaba and her Padawan despite their Vandpuun fighting skills. They hop out of the car and Achilles asks them what took them so long. Chris answers with: “Sorry boss, I ran into some old friends”. Hector leads Thorion, Cronos, & Treebeard against the Myrmidons (minus Julie of course cause she is chillin in the Delorean with Pipes). Achilles rushes up on Treebeard and starts hacking away at the living tree while the other Myrmidons (3 of whom ignite their lightsabers) jump into action as well. Chris goes into melee attack mode and has his brother in laws old Katana in his left hand with his lightsaber in his right. He rushes Thorion, but the amalgam character is able to crush Artrip and crush him, Mandalorian Armor and all. Deadly little Miho is able to use the death of her fellow Myrmidon to their advantage though and get in close enough to put her lightsaber thru the neck of Thorion. Achilles back-flips off of the now dead Treebeard but ironically enough has his foot cut off by the blade of Hector. The Trojan then stands over his rival and finishes him off with a swift sword to the throat. Sabertooth jumps into avenge his captain and eventually comes out on top of the brawl with Hector. Cronos uses his godlike (never mind, I guess if you are a god, than you aren’t just godlike) strength to rip Miho and Taskmaster apart. He then pulls Sabertooth’s head clean off of his body but is killed when his head is removed by the lightsaber of Deathstroke. Apocalypse squares off against Iron Lantern and kills him when he grows to three times the size of Iron Lantern and crushes him thru his energy aura with his size variable mutant strength. The slow blade penetrates the shield, which is how Luke and Denowi are able to kill both Duke Leto and his father Paulus. The Eagle then uses some majorly advanced mental technology that even my superior Watcher brain can’t understand to kill Ce Ce Denowi but Luke is still able to tap into the force enough to cut off his air supply and kill The Eagle. Bloodwind attacks Gozar the Gozarian but Gozar disappears and then returns as a ball of fire to kill Bloodwind. He-Man atop Battle Cat and She-Man then attack Gozar who is now in the form of an all powerful Skeletor, but the 2 of them are able to combine their heroic abilities and defeat him. Battle Cat does not survive the battle. Zuul and Vince Clortho attack the 2 hobbits and knock Sam off of Bill the Pony. They pounce on the faithful little pony and kill him but the 2 hobbits have an amazing amount of bravery packed into their little bodies, and are able to pull their daggers (Sting in Frodo’s case) and finish off the 2 followers of the now dead Gozar. Stitch crashes the Quinjet into Wreck-gar to blow him to bits and then jumps out to continue fighting. He meets up with Zombie Jet Li and then can’t compete with his Zombie hunger fueled Kung Fu, Jet Li enjoys his little blue meal very much. Gene Simmons leads KISS and Dazzler, who is fueling their music with her powers while they use both this advantage and their new weapons to take out Owlman and Johnny Quick, although Peter Criss and Paul Stanley do not survive the attack. Jason Voorhees takes out Crutus Penari’s padawan (#38A), but Zombie Jedi Knight #36 is able to overtake Jason and happily devour his evil soul. Crutus Penari and The Jedi Councilman overtake Pinhead with their lightsabers and then mow thru Panthro and Cheetara as well. Liono takes out The Jedi Councilman but is sliced in half by Penari’s yellow lightsaber. Luke attacks Crutus and is unaware of Crutus’ lightsaber and what it can do. Penari’s lightsaber cuts thru Luke’s and leaves the Grand Jedi Master defenseless. Luke is still able to use his superior mastery of the force to force push Crutus into a wall which cracks his neck. Larry and Julie are flying around in the Delorean when they begin being chased by Ultraman. They know that they have nothing they can do to defeat him and try to escape but they just can’t seem to shake the evil Superman. “Just get us out of here” Julie screams as Ultraman continues to stay up on them. Larry activates the flux compasitor and the Delorean blasts into the future. They didn’t bother to set the dates do to the circumstances, but they find themselves 10 hours into the future where they see nothing more than me, the all powerful Watcher flying away saying the words: TEAM IS VICTORIOUS”! Larry and Julie are shocked, but before they have an opportunity to react Birdman catches a glimpse of them while the remaining members of TEAM are going back to base. Birdman, along with Birdboy and Avenger fly over to attack what they know are Horsemen. Birdman flies up fast on the Delorean and attacks but Larry takes evasive action. Julie then in a daring move opens up the gull wing door and knocks Birdman back several feet, stunning him and buying them a little more time....... TIME...... THEY DON’T NEED TIME.... THEY HAVE A TIME MACHINE. Julie then jumps out the open door and hops onto the roof of the Delorean. “What the hell are you doing, you’re as crazy as your brother” Larry screams to Julie as she is on top of the car. Julie then pulls out her brother’s old Glock 27 and pops a .40 in Birdboy like it ain’t no thang. Avenger then flies in towards Julie, but she drops the glock and ignites her green lightsaber just in time to cut the bird in half. Larry screams to Julie: Okay, good work, now get back in the car, we’re like a zillion feet in the air“. Julie begins to climb into the car when Birdman regains his bearings and flies back toward them. Birdman punches Julie and knocks her off the car sending her plummeting to her doom, but as she is falling out Larry hears her say: “It’s not to late Larry, you can still change it”. Larry then pulls the passenger door closed and swings the car around. He aims the jets at Birdman and fries him as he resets the flux compasitor once again and brings it up to 88 MPH. Motor Master orders the Stunticons to merge to form Menacer; and the Gestalt and Sinestro then follow the lead of Supergirl as she decides that she is actually going to show up in this battle and do something. For TEAM, He-Man leads Ultraman, Superboy, Lor Zod, & Galvatron in an “all-out-go-crazy-lets-wrap-this-match-up-sometime-before-next-week-attack as well. This TEAM-up works as a unit and wipes out some heavy-hitters including Madeline Pryor, Mr. Sinister, Serci, Zombie Master Mold, Zombie Master Chief, Amon Sur Shadowcat, Black Queen, Luscious Malfoy, Mark, Ravager, Dazzler, Gene Simmons, & Ace Frehley. Apocalypse kills Lor Zod, but he eventually falls to this wicked team-up as well. Supergirl’s team is joined by Starscream and Sunstorm and they go crazy killing Ethan Hunt, She-Man, King Randor, Frodo, Sam, Shaun Poteracki, Zombie Jedi Knight #36, Max, Tao, Luke, Anri, & Zylo. Circuit Breaker is able to fry the insides of both Leader 1 and Cop-Tur, but is then killed by the stealthy little Ghanima Atreides. Hot Rod uses his arm mounted lasers to take out Solomon Grundy, but Juggernaut then runs right thru the center of him. Monarch crushes Lady Jessica and her granddaughter Ghanima, but Monarch is then blown to pieces by Galvatron. Exodus easily wipes out Arcee Zombie Jet Li, and The Power Dasher Car, but he is then overtaken by He-Man and his super-group of bad-a**es, Destroyer meets the same fate as Exodus, once he meets up with The Ultraman/Superboy combo. Galvatron knows exactly where to hit Menacer to blow him to bits, and Lord Katsumoto along with his stealth team of Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, and Mr. Miyagi are actually able to take out Sinestro. Ultraman sends Hades to hell and Superboy makes Medusa Stone cold, while He-Man stops Juggernaut and uses his lifeless body to ground Archangel. Galvatron, is fighting like a Decepticon possessed as he is so eager, as a first round pick from last year to prove that they can beat The Horsemen without Superman and Unicron so he blasts Ramjet out of the air, but he is then taken out as Sunstorm does what he does best and crashes into Galvatron letting off an explosion that no only kills both of them, but takes out Mr. Miyagi and The Joker as well who was busy humming the best around and trying to taunt Miyagi with imitation karate moves. He-Man punches right thru Sixshot, while Ultraman and Superboy rocket thru Tripticon. Starscream then flies by out of nowhere and lights up He-Man like the 4th of July yo. Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, & Lord Katsumoto attack Deathstroke and win, but only Katsumoto survives the meeting. At this point Ultraman has his entire TEAM regroup back on top of the highest skyscraper on the play-off planet (ya know Josh Houslander tower). Only Ultraman, Superboy, & Lord Katsumoto remain for TEAM, but only Supergirl and the lightsaberless Luke Skywalker remain for The Horsemen. Luke feels very uneasy and feels a sense of hopelessness that he has not faced in many years. He rushes toward the 2 Kryptonians and the samurai lord but Ultraman merely pushes him with his palm and sends him falling off of the roof. Supergirl stands alone on the roof when Katsumoto says: “She was the league’s MVP and the first person to ever kill Superman, we should not take her lightly”. “Oh, it won’t be lightly, we and Jr. over here are gonna give it to her nice and heavy”. Says Ultraman. Superboy says: “She’ outnumbered, we can take her”. Supergirl stands by defiant, but she knows in her heart that she can’t take the 2 of them by herself. But suddenly the Delorean comes hovering into view with Luke Skywalker on its hood. “I thought you could use a hand Supergirl, oh and by the way Luke, you owe me one“. Larry says to his fellow Horsemen. Larry then grabs the lightsaber off of his belt and throws it to Luke saying: “I have a feeling that you’ll put this to better use than I will”. Luke smiles at TEAM as he catches it but Ultraman says: “Fine, we’ll kill them both”. But Larry adds: “Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I brought back some help”. At this cue, the passenger gull wing door opens and both Superboy Prime and Scar pop out. “Remember us” the evil little guardian Scar says. Supergirl, Scar, Superboy Prime, & Luke then rip both Ultraman and Superboy apart, while Larry is still parking the Delorean. Lord Katsumoto is on the ground with 2 broken legs, but still kneeling to stay up and defiant to the end. Luke says to him: “Well, it looks like we’ve beat TEAM again”. Katsumoto replies with: “You didn’t beat TEAM, you beat team. Are best players are sitting home and we still almost beat you”. This is no victory for you, we’ll see you in the play-offs, now FINISH THIS”. Katsumoto of course wants Luke to cut off his head, so he can die honorably, but Luke says: “No, it’s not the Jedi way”. Luke refuses to end his life and then tosses the lightsaber back to its owner; Larry’s no Jedi, and he doesn’t mind doing Katsumoto the favor. The Horsemen are all celebrating on the rooftops except for Supergirl. Larry says: “Come on Supergirl, we just beat TEAM, how about a little excitement”. Supergirl replies: “Been there done that”.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Wonder Twins Powers... Activate!!
The GM's of The Right Wing and Built Ford Tough would like to announce the arrival of their two healthy baby twins. Lucas (Luke for short) was born at 5 lbs and 1 oz, and Anna (Anna for short) came in a 4 lbs 14 oz. And for all those wondering, Lucas was born a mere 30 seconds before his sister Anna. Everyone is doing great and currently resting up. We here at Fantasy Fantasy League would like to congratulate the proud parents and are extremely excited on meeting the new members of TEAM. Congratulations Shan and Jared.
George Washington's Slaves vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
“Dreams will get you nowhere, a good kick in the pants will take you a long way.”
-Baltasar Gracian
I look at the teams to do battle at the Playoff Planet during this Week 6 Match. They are as follows:
George Washington's Slaves: Wedge Antilles and R2-G1 in an X-Wing, Dack and R2-G2 in an X-Wing, Matt Tracker in Thunderhawk, Frank Martin in the Golden Fox, Agen Kolar, Ajax Major, Amazo, Ancient Ginaz Swordsmen #7-12, The Gears of War crew: Sgt. Marcus Fenix, Dominic Santiago, Augustus "Cole Train" Cole and Damon Baird, Ben Skywalker, Bender "Bending" Rodriguez, Box, Navy Seals #21 and 22, Bronze Dragon #20, Cade Skywalker, Cassandra Nova, Cthulu, Colossus, Connor McLeod, Santa Claus (w/ Ki Adi Mundi's old lightsaber), Korben Dallas (w/ green lightsaber), Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph, Cosmos, Crash Bandicoot, Dare the Terminator, Darkman, Darth Plagueis, Dormammu, Duncan Idaho Ghola #7, Frankenstein's Monster, Ginaz Swordsmen #1-6, Hound, Huckleberry Hound, Inspector Gadget, Jason Bourne, Jedi Masters #10-17, Juan Sanchez Villa Lobos Ramirez, Zombie Ki Adi Mundi, King Kong, Kybuck, Loki, Mad Eye Moody, Mercer, Taurus and Red Dog, Red Dragon #10, Sandworms #15 and 16, Saruman, Sauron, Sayid Jarrah (w/ red lightsaber), Scorpion (w/ red lightsaber and heat axe), Sifo Dyas, SpongeBob Squarepants, Stinkor, Super Soldier, Taki, Tony the Tiger, Ultraman, Windcharger, William Wallace, Doppleganger, Runner, B'dg, Zillius Zox, Coleman Kcaj, Gizmo, Air Bud, Paul Bunyan and Babe the Ox and Piecemeal.
Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies: Sandworm #1, The Maxx and Julie Winters, Doc Brown, Speedy Gonzalez, Dobby, Forge, Agent X, Hellboy, Etrigan the Demon, Lobo, Guy Gardner, G'Nort, Brock Sampson, Kyle Rayner, Beatrix Kiddo, Dorf (w/ a heat axe), Jedi Master #20, Hawkman and Hawkwoman, The Planeteers: Kwame, Wheeler, Linka, Gi, Ma-Ti and Suchi the Monkey, The Power Rangers: Jason, Billy, Zach, Trini and Kimberly, Mecha Godzilla, Rancors #1 and 2, The Power Puff Girls: Blossom and Bubbles, The Technobots: Scattershot, Lightspeed, Nosecone, Strafe and Afterburner, Ron Popeil, Shazam, Starro, Grimlock, King (Head Coach) Leonidas, The Wu-Tang Clan: ODB, Dirt Mcgirt, Big Baby Jesus, RZA, GZA, Method Man, Raekwon, Ghost Face Killah, Inspectah Deck, U-god, Masta-Killa and Cappadonna, Topher Brink, Dolls #1 and 2, The Great Lakes Avengers: Mr. Immortal, Squirrel Girl, Big Bertha and Flatman, Squirrels #1-15, The Blair Witch, Vincent (from Collateral), Teddy Roosevelt, Quickdraw McGraw, Moon Knight, Booster Gold, Captain Caveman and Marines #3-100
Let the Battle Begin. . . .
Water Region
Ron Popeil stands confidently on an immense barge. Marines #3-100 stand behind him. Popeil pulls out his Mr. Microphone and shouts to the Slaves team which waits on a flotilla one hundred yards away.
Popeil: Slaves!!! I am going to use my Inside the Shell Egg Scrambler to destroy SpongeBob Squarepants!!! I am going to use my Cap Snaffler to pop the head off of Gizmo!!! I’m going to use my Electric Food Dehydrator on Bronze Dragon #20!!! I’m going to use my GLH-9 Hair in a Spray to blind Cthulu!!! I’m going to use my Six Star Cutlery set to disembowel Navy Seals #21 and 22!!! And my friends behind me are going to help make that happen!!! Marines!!!!
The barge reaches the platform and the battle begins. Popeil focuses on Squarepants. The huckster grabs the diminutive sea dweller. Popeil pulls out his modified Scrambler (which uses batteries instead of electricity) from his backpack and pushes SpongeBob in the invention. SpongeBob Squarepants is de-liquefied and explodes. Popeil then focuses on Gizmo. Gizmo reacts and attempts to jump into the water. Marine #72 reaches Gizmo before he can do so. Marine #72 hands Gizmo to Popeil who removes the Cap Snaffler from his backpack. He uses the Snaffler to pop the head off of Gizmo. Navy Seals #21 and 22 begin to fire their weapons and kill Marines #14-17 and 24-27. Popeil reacts to the death of his teammates and throws the knives from his Six Star Cutlery set at the Seals. Navy Seal #21 is hit in the chest and dies. Navy Seal #22 is wounded. Popeil pounces on the military man and jams his Solid Flavor Injector into Navy Seal #22’s eye; his brain is flooded and shuts off.
The remaining Marines fire upon Bronze Dragon #20. Bronze Dragon #20 is riddled with bullets and dies, but not before it uses its repulsion gas and lightning breath to kill Marines #43-45 and 67-75.
Cthulu emerges from the watery depths. Cthulu kills a majority of the Marines, but is also killed in the process. The only survivors of the water melee are Ron Popeil and Marines #3, 5, 6 and 8-13. Popeil looks to the carnage around him.
Popeil: We have won this battle my friends, but at what price. . . at what price. . . I actually figure that it cost us only 10 easy installments of $14.99. . .
Space Region
The two X-Wings come into formation and fire upon the Murderflies’ Green Lanterns-Guy Gardner, G’Nort and Kyle Rayner. Their combined ring powers deflect the lasers shot by the Rebel fighters. Rayner and Gardner work together to create a massive green projection which envelops the X-Wings and smashes them together. Wedge Antilles manages to avoid a majority of the collision’s impact. Dack and R2-G2 are not as lucky as their X-Wing explodes, killing them both. Although not destroyed, Wedge’s X-Wing is crippled and spins out of control. The spaceship is caught by G’Nort’s ring powers. G’Nort destroys the X-Wing and R2-G1; Antilles manages to eject out. Cosmos sees Antilles floating in space in a pressurized-suit. Both Antilles and Cosmos fly away from the skirmish. G’Nort follows the Transformer and Rebel leader. G’Nort is met by both B’dg and Zillius Zox. G’Nort actually gains the upper hand on the squirrel-like B’dg and kills him. In response to his teammate’s death, the Red Lantern kills G’Nort. The big headed lantern is then met by the duo of Gardner and Rayner. The two green lanterns kill Zox. Rayner then flies at Cosmos and Antilles. Rayner rips Antilles from Cosmos’ back and crushes him alive with his ring powers. Cosmos sees his rider being killed and strikes back at Rayner. Rayner is destroyed by Cosmos. Gardner is engulfed by the fury of his red lantern background and rips Cosmos apart. The Runner rushes to the scene and uses the power cosmic. Gardner implodes.
Desert Region
Speedy Gonzalez stands with King Leonidas.
Gonzalez: ¡Hola enemigos! ¡Está a punto de morirse una muerte horrible en las manos de un ratón rápido y sus camaradas honorables!
In response to Gonzalez’s words, Zombie Ki Adi Mundi rides the Kybuck toward his enemies. Before he reaches the Murderflies, his zombie urges get the better of him and he rips the throat out of the steed. Mundi is thrown off the Kybuck as it falls, mortally wounded. Zombie Ki Adi Mundi quickly rises and ignites his lightsaber. He is joined by Coleman Kcaj and Sayid Jarrah with a red lightsaber. The lightsaber wielding teammates are met by Jedi Master #20 and Dorf with a heat axe. Mundi and Kcaj focus on Jedi Master #20 and combine their efforts to kill him. Agent X is somewhat hidden amongst the sand and uses his enhanced marksmanship skills to blow a hole in Mundi’s head; the zombie goes down. Dorf avoids the lightsaber of Sayid numerous times due to his height. Dorf’s axe grazes Jarrah’s leg; an injured Sayid falls, but not before slicing the head off of Dorf on the way down. Beatrix Kiddo jumps on the Sayid (who has lost his lightsaber) and shoves her kitana through his chest. Sayid dies. Kiddo is then surrounded by Ginaz Swordsmen #1-6. Kiddo slices and dices her way through all Ginaz #1-6. She is then met by Ancient Ginaz Swordsmen #7-12. She is tired due to her previous efforts. Although she manages to kill Ancient Ginaz Swordman #8, she is skewered repeatedly by the remaining Ancient Ginaz members. Rancors #1 and 2 storm upon the scene and rip apart the remaining Ancient Ginaz Swordmen #7, 9-12. While the Rancors are devouring their victims, Sandworm #16 explodes from the sands below and engulfs both Rancors #1 and 2.
Ajax Major attempts to squash Gonzalez, but is unsuccessful due to the swift nature of the speedy rodent. King Leonidas decides to take advantage of Ajax Major’s distraction. The two men decide to Greco-Roman wrestle to the death. Leonidas is victorious and suffocates Ajax with a double-scissor, leg, death-grip. Leonidas’ victory is short lived as Sandworm #15 engulfs him. Seeing his master and team captain die, Gonzalez whips into a frenzy. He jumps on Grimlock and steers the Transformer to attack Sandworm #15. Grimlock rips Sandworm #15 apart. Sandworm #1 barrels to the scene and the two Sandworms (#1 and #16) finish each other off.
Agent X locates Duncan Idaho Ghola #7 and takes him out. Agent X is then killed when Coleman Kcaj sneaks behind him and burns a hole through Agent X’s heart. Grimlock and Gonzalez then storm up at Kcaj and rip him apart. Hound attempts to attack the “Two G Killaz” (aka Gonzalez and Grimlock), but loses its fight.
Gonzalez, still on top of Grimlock, shouts: ¡El Murderflies Luchador es victorioso en nuestra batalla de desierto! ¡Chúpelo Esclaviza!
City Region
Jason Bourne faces Vincent. Although Vincent is a trained killer, Bourne is a natural assassin. The two fight at a staccato pace, but eventually Bourne bests Vincent. Moon Knight focuses on Bourne, and being a former mercenary and killer, uses his crescent shaped weapons to rip into Bourne. Bourne falls down and is confronted by the entire Wu-Tang Clan. The Clan kicks him repeatedly while he is on the ground. Bourne looks up at the Clan, hearing their “Protect Ya Neck” rap.
ODB: So what's up man?Dirt McGirt: Cooling manBig Baby Jesus: Chilling chilling?RZA: Yo you know I had to call, you know why right?GZA: Why?Method Man: Because, yo, I never ever call and ask, you to play something right?Raekwon: YeahGhost Face Killah: You know what I wanna hear right?Inspectah Deck: What you wanna hear?U-god: I wanna hear that Wu-Tang jointMasta Killa: Wu-Tang again?Cappadonna: Ah yeah, again and again!
As the last words are sung out of the mouth of Cappadonna, they come together and deal Bourne his death blow. Air Bud runs up to the Clan and barks. The Clan surrounds the dog. The diversion worked. Although Air Bud is killed, he sacrificed himself so that Ben Skywalker, Sifo Dyas and Cade Skywalker could dispel with the Clan. The Jedi slice and dice through them all; the entire Wu-Tang Clan dies in a bloody heap.
Darkman sees Topher Brink. Maniacal laughter is heard as he brutally kills the Dollhouse programmer. Dolls 1 and 2 take revenge and kill Darkman. They then focus on Juan Sanchez Villa Lobos Ramirez and Taki. Although both are killed, Doll #1 loses her life in the process. Doll #2 is then killed by Box and Piecemeal. Etrigan the Demon sneaks behind Mad Eye Moody and kills him before Moody can use his wizardry.
Moon Knight faces both Scorpion with a red lightsaber and heat axe and Bender. Bender bends his robotic body around Moon Knight, who is now imprisoned in the robot’s steel arms and legs. Moon Knight is then killed by Scorpion. Etrigan the Demon lunges at Scorpion and rips him apart. In response, the combined efforts of both Cassandra Nova and Colossus kill Etrigan.
The Technobots: Scattershot, Lightspeed, Nosecone, Strafe and Afterburner approach the scene in their various forms. Each Transformer focuses on an individual Slave. Scattershot rips through Bender. Strafe rips through Box. Afterburner smashes Ben Skywalker. Lightspeed barrels into Sifo Dyas. The robots then decide to form Computron. Computron immediately uses its immensely powerful form to kill Cade Skywalker, Dare the Terminator and Windcharger. Computron sees Piecemeal come to the scene and fires at the mutant. Piecemeal absorbs the immense energy frequency and blasts it back at Computron. Although Piecemeal is killed in the process due to the immense energy expended, he manages to rip apart Computron and destroy Afterburner and Nosecone. The remaining Transformers fire upon and kill Cassandra Nova. Colossus races to a manhole cover and runs through the tunnels to the next battle sight
Underground City (Sewer) Region
Hellboy (to Frankenstein’s Monster): You are one ugly mother!
Although the two tussle, Hellboy uses his obnoxiously large weapon to blast a hole through the monster’s body; Frankenstein crumples to the wet floor. Hellboy then focuses on the Gears of War crew. As he is about to fire upon them, he is ripped apart by the razor sharp webs of Doppleganger. Doppleganger laughs at his defeat of Hellboy and looks at Julie Winters. He kills her. The beast is then struck by both Maxx and Lobo. The two destroy Doppleganger.
Suchi the Monkey throws its feces across the armored faceplates of the Gears of War crew. The Planeteers take advantage of Suchi’s poop. Linka uses her wind powers to pin the crew to the sewers. Gi uses her water powers to spray the dirt and germ infested waters at the Gears of War crew, blinding them further. Ma-Ti uses his powers to talk to the rats which swarm over the Gears of War Commandos. The Gears of War crew fire at the Planeteers, but are unable to hit anybody in the confusion. The Maxx and Lobo take advantage of the Planeteers skills and kill the entire Gears of War clan.
Snow Region
Santa Claus rides in his sleigh. His voice can be heard from the sky.
Claus: Ho! Ho! Ho! Murderflies’ blood gonna flow!
With that said, Claus rides down on his sleigh, Ki Adi Mundi’s old lightsaber in hand. He kills Stinkor first without being sprayed and focuses on Dobby. Claus becomes infuriated that the house-elf is not working at his shop even though all the other elves of the world currently are, building his toys. He lops Dobby’s head off. As the sleigh rises again, Brock Sampson grabs onto Rudolph and breaks the reindeer’s neck. He then jumps on the reindeer’s braces and steers the sleigh into the icy tundra below. In the crash, Dasher, Vixen and Comet are killed. The Power Rangers swarm the reindeer and with their fighting prowess, kill the remaining reindeer-Dancer, Prancer, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen. Brock looks for Santa, but he is missing amongst the wreckage. Forge uses his abilities to quickly create weapons out of the sleigh parts. He, along with Sampson, use these weapons against Korben Dallas. Dallas is able to block some of the blows, but eventually succumbs to their effort and dies.
Forge and Sampson then look for Claus. The two locate and fire their weapons at the Jolly Gentile. Inspector Gadget uses his body as a shield and deflects the weapons fired at Claus; this move saves Claus. Super Soldier then leaps over Gadget. In mid air, Super Solider uses his shield to slice off Forge’s head. He then barrels into Brock Sampson. After a pitched battle, Super Solider is victorious.
Agen Kolar and Jedi Masters #10-17 race at the Power Rangers. All of the Rangers are slaughtered, but Jedi Masters #10 and 13 die too. Inspector Gadget transforms into a hovercraft and flies to another part of the planet with his remaining tundra teammates.
Plains Region
Quickdraw McGraw: What do you say Huckleberry?
Huckleberry Hound: Who me?
Before Huckleberry Hound can react, a shot is heard and a bullet hole shows up in the middle of his forehead. Huckleberry Hound drops dead. Quickdraw McGraw is joined by Doc Brown. They have William Wallace in their sights.
Wallace: Ye may kihl mah, but weill ‘ave ohr victorah!
Wallace is riddled with bullets and drops to his death. Tony the Tiger rushes at Doc Brown and mauls him to death. McLeod is shot by McGraw. Conner McLeod falls to the ground, but rises again. McGraw is amazed and attempts to reload his gun. McLeod, still in a bit of pain due to the bullet, staggers over to McGraw and slices his head off.
Teddy Roosevelt senses McLeod’s weakness and slices his head off with his army sword. Roosevelt looks down at McLeod’s decapitated body.
Roosevelt: Absence and death are the same - only that in death there is no suffering. [A real Roosevelt quote].
Taurus, Red Dog and Mercer fire upon Roosevelt. Roosevelt is killed. In response to the ex-President’s death, Loki wipes out Sgt. Slaughter’s Renegades-Taurus, Red Dog and Mercer. Mecha Godzilla comes to the site and rips both Tony the Tiger and Crash Bandicoot apart. Amazo uses the metahuman powers he siphoned off his teammates and fries Mecha Godzilla. The robotic beast falls to the ground.
In the Air
Captain Caveman is startled that a “dinosaur” can fly. While he attempts to understand this discrepancy, Red Dragon #10 blows its fire and burns Captain Caveman alive. The Caveman’s body falls to the ground, dead. Before the Dragon can take another life, Hawkman and Hawkwoman skewer the beast and clubs it over its head. Red Dragon #10 dies. Matt Tracker in Thunderhawk comes upon the Hawk duo. All weapons are fired from the modified Thunderhawk and they devastate Hawkwoman. Hawkman goes berserk at the death of his mate and starts bashing the Thunderhawk with his mace. Booster Gold and Shazam join their comrade and destroy the Thunderhawk which crashes and kills Matt Tracker with it.
Starro lunges at Ultraman and attempts to control his actions. Due to the cosmic humanoid’s disposition, Starro is unable to affect him. Ultraman takes advantage of Starro’s inability and rips his arms off; Starro is mortally wounded and soon dies. Frank Martin in the Golden Fox faces the Power Puff Girls. The Girls beat up Martin and the Fox crashes, killing Martin. The Power Puff Girls then join forces with Hawkman, Shazam and Booster Gold to destroy Ultraman.
Forest Region
Squirrel Girl uses her innate ability to communicate with Squirrels #1-15. The bushy-tailed rodents jump on Babe the Ox. Babe attempts to buck the Squirrels off its back to no avail. Although they are only nuisances, Babe (in a loss of control fit) kicks Bunyan across the forest. A disoriented Bunyan attempts to get up and is met by Mr. Immortal and Flatman. Flatman wraps his body around Bunyan. Mr. Immortal then pummels Bunyan in the face and kills the axe-wielding giant. Babe bucks around again, still attempting to dismount the Squirrels. Dormammu uses his mystical energy to fry Squirrels #1-15, off of Babe’s back. While all the Squirrels die in flames, the fires cause Babe to buck out of control. Babe tramples over Big Bertha and Squirrel Girl in the process. Still in an uncontrollable rage, Kong has to put Babe out of its misery.
The Blair Witch sees Darth Plagueis walking through the forest. Plagueis crouches into a battle stance and meets the witch. Dormammu steps in and uses his powers to fry the Blair Witch. Kong rushes after and grabs Mr. Immortal. Kong uses the strongman like a ragdoll and strikes his head repeatedly on the ground. Saruman arrives to the scene and with his dark wizardry kills Mr. Immortal. Plagueis locates Flatman and slices him in half. Kong sees Flatman and moves behind the bushes to use him as toilet paper.
The Final Battle
The remaining combatants are moved to the cityscape of the planet.
The remaining George Washington's Slaves are Agen Kolar, Amazo, Colossus, Santa Claus (w/ Ki Adi Mundi's old lightsaber), Darth Plagueis, Dormammu, Inspector Gadget, Jedi Masters #11-12, 14-17, King Kong, Loki, Saruman, Sauron, Super Soldier and Runner.
The remaining Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies are The Maxx, Speedy Gonzalez, Lobo, Hawkman, The Planeteers: Kwame, Wheeler, Linka, Gi, Ma-Ti and Suchi the Monkey, The Power Puff Girls: Blossom and Bubbles, The Technobots: Scattershot, Lightspeed and Strafe, Ron Popeil, Shazam, Grimlock, Booster Gold and Marines #3, 5, 6, 8-13.
Suchi the monkey throws its poo at the Slaves. Kong responds and Suchi suffocates in Kong’s dung. Lightspeed, Scattershot and Strafe transform into their robot modes and fire upon King Kong. Kong succumbs to the barrage of Transformer firepower. Wheeler hurls his powers of fire at Dormammu. Dormammu laughs at the flames and throws it back at him. Wheeler screams as he bursts into flames and becomes a singed corpse.
Agen Kolar leads Jedi Masters #11-12, 14-17. They are met by Lobo and the Maxx. The duo manages to murder all Jedi Masters. In the melee, Kolar kills the Maxx.
Inspector Gadget’s body folds into a giant mouse trap. Speedy Gonzalez is not fast enough to escape Gadget and the trap snaps shut, breaking the mouse’s neck. While still a mouse trap, Popeil rushes at Gadget and uses the Popeil Pocket Fisherman to tinker with Gadget’s form. Gadget has trouble reverting back into his humanoid guise. At the death of his battle partner, Grimlock comes upon Gadget and crushes him to pieces. Colossus, who has been missing since his flight from the city streets into the sewers, bursts from the drain pipe to the scene of the battle. As he rises from the depths, his head is ripped off by Grimlock’s jaws.
Agen Kolar, Darth Plagueis and Santa Claus meet Marines #3, 5, 6, 8-13. Kolar slices through Marines #3 and 5. Plagueis dices through Marines #6, 8-10. Claus beheads Marines #11-13. Scattershot, Lightspeed and Strafe, in robot form, come to the scene and kill Claus and Kolar. Plagueis escapes, but it is short lived as Lobo catches him and rips him apart. Sauron (who has been missing from the match, for what reason, good readers, shall be explained at a future date. . .) comes at Lobo and kills him. Sauron then joins Saruman, Loki and Dormammu. The magic and mystical wielders rip through the Planeteers. Loki fries Kwame. Saruman cooks Linka. Sauron mashes Gi. Dormammu smashes Ma-Ti.
In the air, Amazo captures Shazam and places him in a hold so that Shazam is defenseless. Super Soldier comes upon the two combatants and with lightning speed strikes. Shazam looks at Super Soldier and notices that his shield is bloodied. Shazam looks down and sees his intestines dripping from his stomach. Shazam dies, his last act being an attempt to push his guts back in his body. Hawkman swoops in and Amazo’s head is crushed in at the force used by Hawkman and his mace. Super Soldier flies in and kills Hawkman. Booster Gold attempts to best Super Soldier, but never reaches him as the Runner rips him apart with the power cosmic. The Runner then finishes off the remaining Technobots, Scattershot, Lightspeed and Strafe.
Popeil stands in front of Grimlock and is flanked on both sides by Bubbles and Blossom. They see the odds are against them. Dormammu, Loki, Saruman, Sauron, Super Soldier and Runner look to the remaining Murderflies.
Loki: Last words?
Popeil: We shall die with honor today!
Loki: That you shall.
Loki is about to signal his teammates to destroy the remaining enemy.
Popeil: But wait, there’s more!!!
Saruman: There is no more. . . .
Dormammu, Loki, Saruman, Sauron and the Runner release their energies upon the Murderflies. Blossom explodes at Dormammu’s hands. Bubbles implodes at Saruman’s hands. Popeil disintegrates at Loki’s hands. Grimlock melts at the Runner’s hands.
Murderflies: All dead.
Slaves: Dormammu, Loki, Saruman, Sauron, Super Soldier and the Runner.
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
-Baltasar Gracian
I look at the teams to do battle at the Playoff Planet during this Week 6 Match. They are as follows:
George Washington's Slaves: Wedge Antilles and R2-G1 in an X-Wing, Dack and R2-G2 in an X-Wing, Matt Tracker in Thunderhawk, Frank Martin in the Golden Fox, Agen Kolar, Ajax Major, Amazo, Ancient Ginaz Swordsmen #7-12, The Gears of War crew: Sgt. Marcus Fenix, Dominic Santiago, Augustus "Cole Train" Cole and Damon Baird, Ben Skywalker, Bender "Bending" Rodriguez, Box, Navy Seals #21 and 22, Bronze Dragon #20, Cade Skywalker, Cassandra Nova, Cthulu, Colossus, Connor McLeod, Santa Claus (w/ Ki Adi Mundi's old lightsaber), Korben Dallas (w/ green lightsaber), Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph, Cosmos, Crash Bandicoot, Dare the Terminator, Darkman, Darth Plagueis, Dormammu, Duncan Idaho Ghola #7, Frankenstein's Monster, Ginaz Swordsmen #1-6, Hound, Huckleberry Hound, Inspector Gadget, Jason Bourne, Jedi Masters #10-17, Juan Sanchez Villa Lobos Ramirez, Zombie Ki Adi Mundi, King Kong, Kybuck, Loki, Mad Eye Moody, Mercer, Taurus and Red Dog, Red Dragon #10, Sandworms #15 and 16, Saruman, Sauron, Sayid Jarrah (w/ red lightsaber), Scorpion (w/ red lightsaber and heat axe), Sifo Dyas, SpongeBob Squarepants, Stinkor, Super Soldier, Taki, Tony the Tiger, Ultraman, Windcharger, William Wallace, Doppleganger, Runner, B'dg, Zillius Zox, Coleman Kcaj, Gizmo, Air Bud, Paul Bunyan and Babe the Ox and Piecemeal.
Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies: Sandworm #1, The Maxx and Julie Winters, Doc Brown, Speedy Gonzalez, Dobby, Forge, Agent X, Hellboy, Etrigan the Demon, Lobo, Guy Gardner, G'Nort, Brock Sampson, Kyle Rayner, Beatrix Kiddo, Dorf (w/ a heat axe), Jedi Master #20, Hawkman and Hawkwoman, The Planeteers: Kwame, Wheeler, Linka, Gi, Ma-Ti and Suchi the Monkey, The Power Rangers: Jason, Billy, Zach, Trini and Kimberly, Mecha Godzilla, Rancors #1 and 2, The Power Puff Girls: Blossom and Bubbles, The Technobots: Scattershot, Lightspeed, Nosecone, Strafe and Afterburner, Ron Popeil, Shazam, Starro, Grimlock, King (Head Coach) Leonidas, The Wu-Tang Clan: ODB, Dirt Mcgirt, Big Baby Jesus, RZA, GZA, Method Man, Raekwon, Ghost Face Killah, Inspectah Deck, U-god, Masta-Killa and Cappadonna, Topher Brink, Dolls #1 and 2, The Great Lakes Avengers: Mr. Immortal, Squirrel Girl, Big Bertha and Flatman, Squirrels #1-15, The Blair Witch, Vincent (from Collateral), Teddy Roosevelt, Quickdraw McGraw, Moon Knight, Booster Gold, Captain Caveman and Marines #3-100
Let the Battle Begin. . . .
Water Region
Ron Popeil stands confidently on an immense barge. Marines #3-100 stand behind him. Popeil pulls out his Mr. Microphone and shouts to the Slaves team which waits on a flotilla one hundred yards away.
Popeil: Slaves!!! I am going to use my Inside the Shell Egg Scrambler to destroy SpongeBob Squarepants!!! I am going to use my Cap Snaffler to pop the head off of Gizmo!!! I’m going to use my Electric Food Dehydrator on Bronze Dragon #20!!! I’m going to use my GLH-9 Hair in a Spray to blind Cthulu!!! I’m going to use my Six Star Cutlery set to disembowel Navy Seals #21 and 22!!! And my friends behind me are going to help make that happen!!! Marines!!!!
The barge reaches the platform and the battle begins. Popeil focuses on Squarepants. The huckster grabs the diminutive sea dweller. Popeil pulls out his modified Scrambler (which uses batteries instead of electricity) from his backpack and pushes SpongeBob in the invention. SpongeBob Squarepants is de-liquefied and explodes. Popeil then focuses on Gizmo. Gizmo reacts and attempts to jump into the water. Marine #72 reaches Gizmo before he can do so. Marine #72 hands Gizmo to Popeil who removes the Cap Snaffler from his backpack. He uses the Snaffler to pop the head off of Gizmo. Navy Seals #21 and 22 begin to fire their weapons and kill Marines #14-17 and 24-27. Popeil reacts to the death of his teammates and throws the knives from his Six Star Cutlery set at the Seals. Navy Seal #21 is hit in the chest and dies. Navy Seal #22 is wounded. Popeil pounces on the military man and jams his Solid Flavor Injector into Navy Seal #22’s eye; his brain is flooded and shuts off.
The remaining Marines fire upon Bronze Dragon #20. Bronze Dragon #20 is riddled with bullets and dies, but not before it uses its repulsion gas and lightning breath to kill Marines #43-45 and 67-75.
Cthulu emerges from the watery depths. Cthulu kills a majority of the Marines, but is also killed in the process. The only survivors of the water melee are Ron Popeil and Marines #3, 5, 6 and 8-13. Popeil looks to the carnage around him.
Popeil: We have won this battle my friends, but at what price. . . at what price. . . I actually figure that it cost us only 10 easy installments of $14.99. . .
Space Region
The two X-Wings come into formation and fire upon the Murderflies’ Green Lanterns-Guy Gardner, G’Nort and Kyle Rayner. Their combined ring powers deflect the lasers shot by the Rebel fighters. Rayner and Gardner work together to create a massive green projection which envelops the X-Wings and smashes them together. Wedge Antilles manages to avoid a majority of the collision’s impact. Dack and R2-G2 are not as lucky as their X-Wing explodes, killing them both. Although not destroyed, Wedge’s X-Wing is crippled and spins out of control. The spaceship is caught by G’Nort’s ring powers. G’Nort destroys the X-Wing and R2-G1; Antilles manages to eject out. Cosmos sees Antilles floating in space in a pressurized-suit. Both Antilles and Cosmos fly away from the skirmish. G’Nort follows the Transformer and Rebel leader. G’Nort is met by both B’dg and Zillius Zox. G’Nort actually gains the upper hand on the squirrel-like B’dg and kills him. In response to his teammate’s death, the Red Lantern kills G’Nort. The big headed lantern is then met by the duo of Gardner and Rayner. The two green lanterns kill Zox. Rayner then flies at Cosmos and Antilles. Rayner rips Antilles from Cosmos’ back and crushes him alive with his ring powers. Cosmos sees his rider being killed and strikes back at Rayner. Rayner is destroyed by Cosmos. Gardner is engulfed by the fury of his red lantern background and rips Cosmos apart. The Runner rushes to the scene and uses the power cosmic. Gardner implodes.
Desert Region
Speedy Gonzalez stands with King Leonidas.
Gonzalez: ¡Hola enemigos! ¡Está a punto de morirse una muerte horrible en las manos de un ratón rápido y sus camaradas honorables!
In response to Gonzalez’s words, Zombie Ki Adi Mundi rides the Kybuck toward his enemies. Before he reaches the Murderflies, his zombie urges get the better of him and he rips the throat out of the steed. Mundi is thrown off the Kybuck as it falls, mortally wounded. Zombie Ki Adi Mundi quickly rises and ignites his lightsaber. He is joined by Coleman Kcaj and Sayid Jarrah with a red lightsaber. The lightsaber wielding teammates are met by Jedi Master #20 and Dorf with a heat axe. Mundi and Kcaj focus on Jedi Master #20 and combine their efforts to kill him. Agent X is somewhat hidden amongst the sand and uses his enhanced marksmanship skills to blow a hole in Mundi’s head; the zombie goes down. Dorf avoids the lightsaber of Sayid numerous times due to his height. Dorf’s axe grazes Jarrah’s leg; an injured Sayid falls, but not before slicing the head off of Dorf on the way down. Beatrix Kiddo jumps on the Sayid (who has lost his lightsaber) and shoves her kitana through his chest. Sayid dies. Kiddo is then surrounded by Ginaz Swordsmen #1-6. Kiddo slices and dices her way through all Ginaz #1-6. She is then met by Ancient Ginaz Swordsmen #7-12. She is tired due to her previous efforts. Although she manages to kill Ancient Ginaz Swordman #8, she is skewered repeatedly by the remaining Ancient Ginaz members. Rancors #1 and 2 storm upon the scene and rip apart the remaining Ancient Ginaz Swordmen #7, 9-12. While the Rancors are devouring their victims, Sandworm #16 explodes from the sands below and engulfs both Rancors #1 and 2.
Ajax Major attempts to squash Gonzalez, but is unsuccessful due to the swift nature of the speedy rodent. King Leonidas decides to take advantage of Ajax Major’s distraction. The two men decide to Greco-Roman wrestle to the death. Leonidas is victorious and suffocates Ajax with a double-scissor, leg, death-grip. Leonidas’ victory is short lived as Sandworm #15 engulfs him. Seeing his master and team captain die, Gonzalez whips into a frenzy. He jumps on Grimlock and steers the Transformer to attack Sandworm #15. Grimlock rips Sandworm #15 apart. Sandworm #1 barrels to the scene and the two Sandworms (#1 and #16) finish each other off.
Agent X locates Duncan Idaho Ghola #7 and takes him out. Agent X is then killed when Coleman Kcaj sneaks behind him and burns a hole through Agent X’s heart. Grimlock and Gonzalez then storm up at Kcaj and rip him apart. Hound attempts to attack the “Two G Killaz” (aka Gonzalez and Grimlock), but loses its fight.
Gonzalez, still on top of Grimlock, shouts: ¡El Murderflies Luchador es victorioso en nuestra batalla de desierto! ¡Chúpelo Esclaviza!
City Region
Jason Bourne faces Vincent. Although Vincent is a trained killer, Bourne is a natural assassin. The two fight at a staccato pace, but eventually Bourne bests Vincent. Moon Knight focuses on Bourne, and being a former mercenary and killer, uses his crescent shaped weapons to rip into Bourne. Bourne falls down and is confronted by the entire Wu-Tang Clan. The Clan kicks him repeatedly while he is on the ground. Bourne looks up at the Clan, hearing their “Protect Ya Neck” rap.
ODB: So what's up man?Dirt McGirt: Cooling manBig Baby Jesus: Chilling chilling?RZA: Yo you know I had to call, you know why right?GZA: Why?Method Man: Because, yo, I never ever call and ask, you to play something right?Raekwon: YeahGhost Face Killah: You know what I wanna hear right?Inspectah Deck: What you wanna hear?U-god: I wanna hear that Wu-Tang jointMasta Killa: Wu-Tang again?Cappadonna: Ah yeah, again and again!
As the last words are sung out of the mouth of Cappadonna, they come together and deal Bourne his death blow. Air Bud runs up to the Clan and barks. The Clan surrounds the dog. The diversion worked. Although Air Bud is killed, he sacrificed himself so that Ben Skywalker, Sifo Dyas and Cade Skywalker could dispel with the Clan. The Jedi slice and dice through them all; the entire Wu-Tang Clan dies in a bloody heap.
Darkman sees Topher Brink. Maniacal laughter is heard as he brutally kills the Dollhouse programmer. Dolls 1 and 2 take revenge and kill Darkman. They then focus on Juan Sanchez Villa Lobos Ramirez and Taki. Although both are killed, Doll #1 loses her life in the process. Doll #2 is then killed by Box and Piecemeal. Etrigan the Demon sneaks behind Mad Eye Moody and kills him before Moody can use his wizardry.
Moon Knight faces both Scorpion with a red lightsaber and heat axe and Bender. Bender bends his robotic body around Moon Knight, who is now imprisoned in the robot’s steel arms and legs. Moon Knight is then killed by Scorpion. Etrigan the Demon lunges at Scorpion and rips him apart. In response, the combined efforts of both Cassandra Nova and Colossus kill Etrigan.
The Technobots: Scattershot, Lightspeed, Nosecone, Strafe and Afterburner approach the scene in their various forms. Each Transformer focuses on an individual Slave. Scattershot rips through Bender. Strafe rips through Box. Afterburner smashes Ben Skywalker. Lightspeed barrels into Sifo Dyas. The robots then decide to form Computron. Computron immediately uses its immensely powerful form to kill Cade Skywalker, Dare the Terminator and Windcharger. Computron sees Piecemeal come to the scene and fires at the mutant. Piecemeal absorbs the immense energy frequency and blasts it back at Computron. Although Piecemeal is killed in the process due to the immense energy expended, he manages to rip apart Computron and destroy Afterburner and Nosecone. The remaining Transformers fire upon and kill Cassandra Nova. Colossus races to a manhole cover and runs through the tunnels to the next battle sight
Underground City (Sewer) Region
Hellboy (to Frankenstein’s Monster): You are one ugly mother!
Although the two tussle, Hellboy uses his obnoxiously large weapon to blast a hole through the monster’s body; Frankenstein crumples to the wet floor. Hellboy then focuses on the Gears of War crew. As he is about to fire upon them, he is ripped apart by the razor sharp webs of Doppleganger. Doppleganger laughs at his defeat of Hellboy and looks at Julie Winters. He kills her. The beast is then struck by both Maxx and Lobo. The two destroy Doppleganger.
Suchi the Monkey throws its feces across the armored faceplates of the Gears of War crew. The Planeteers take advantage of Suchi’s poop. Linka uses her wind powers to pin the crew to the sewers. Gi uses her water powers to spray the dirt and germ infested waters at the Gears of War crew, blinding them further. Ma-Ti uses his powers to talk to the rats which swarm over the Gears of War Commandos. The Gears of War crew fire at the Planeteers, but are unable to hit anybody in the confusion. The Maxx and Lobo take advantage of the Planeteers skills and kill the entire Gears of War clan.
Snow Region
Santa Claus rides in his sleigh. His voice can be heard from the sky.
Claus: Ho! Ho! Ho! Murderflies’ blood gonna flow!
With that said, Claus rides down on his sleigh, Ki Adi Mundi’s old lightsaber in hand. He kills Stinkor first without being sprayed and focuses on Dobby. Claus becomes infuriated that the house-elf is not working at his shop even though all the other elves of the world currently are, building his toys. He lops Dobby’s head off. As the sleigh rises again, Brock Sampson grabs onto Rudolph and breaks the reindeer’s neck. He then jumps on the reindeer’s braces and steers the sleigh into the icy tundra below. In the crash, Dasher, Vixen and Comet are killed. The Power Rangers swarm the reindeer and with their fighting prowess, kill the remaining reindeer-Dancer, Prancer, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen. Brock looks for Santa, but he is missing amongst the wreckage. Forge uses his abilities to quickly create weapons out of the sleigh parts. He, along with Sampson, use these weapons against Korben Dallas. Dallas is able to block some of the blows, but eventually succumbs to their effort and dies.
Forge and Sampson then look for Claus. The two locate and fire their weapons at the Jolly Gentile. Inspector Gadget uses his body as a shield and deflects the weapons fired at Claus; this move saves Claus. Super Soldier then leaps over Gadget. In mid air, Super Solider uses his shield to slice off Forge’s head. He then barrels into Brock Sampson. After a pitched battle, Super Solider is victorious.
Agen Kolar and Jedi Masters #10-17 race at the Power Rangers. All of the Rangers are slaughtered, but Jedi Masters #10 and 13 die too. Inspector Gadget transforms into a hovercraft and flies to another part of the planet with his remaining tundra teammates.
Plains Region
Quickdraw McGraw: What do you say Huckleberry?
Huckleberry Hound: Who me?
Before Huckleberry Hound can react, a shot is heard and a bullet hole shows up in the middle of his forehead. Huckleberry Hound drops dead. Quickdraw McGraw is joined by Doc Brown. They have William Wallace in their sights.
Wallace: Ye may kihl mah, but weill ‘ave ohr victorah!
Wallace is riddled with bullets and drops to his death. Tony the Tiger rushes at Doc Brown and mauls him to death. McLeod is shot by McGraw. Conner McLeod falls to the ground, but rises again. McGraw is amazed and attempts to reload his gun. McLeod, still in a bit of pain due to the bullet, staggers over to McGraw and slices his head off.
Teddy Roosevelt senses McLeod’s weakness and slices his head off with his army sword. Roosevelt looks down at McLeod’s decapitated body.
Roosevelt: Absence and death are the same - only that in death there is no suffering. [A real Roosevelt quote].
Taurus, Red Dog and Mercer fire upon Roosevelt. Roosevelt is killed. In response to the ex-President’s death, Loki wipes out Sgt. Slaughter’s Renegades-Taurus, Red Dog and Mercer. Mecha Godzilla comes to the site and rips both Tony the Tiger and Crash Bandicoot apart. Amazo uses the metahuman powers he siphoned off his teammates and fries Mecha Godzilla. The robotic beast falls to the ground.
In the Air
Captain Caveman is startled that a “dinosaur” can fly. While he attempts to understand this discrepancy, Red Dragon #10 blows its fire and burns Captain Caveman alive. The Caveman’s body falls to the ground, dead. Before the Dragon can take another life, Hawkman and Hawkwoman skewer the beast and clubs it over its head. Red Dragon #10 dies. Matt Tracker in Thunderhawk comes upon the Hawk duo. All weapons are fired from the modified Thunderhawk and they devastate Hawkwoman. Hawkman goes berserk at the death of his mate and starts bashing the Thunderhawk with his mace. Booster Gold and Shazam join their comrade and destroy the Thunderhawk which crashes and kills Matt Tracker with it.
Starro lunges at Ultraman and attempts to control his actions. Due to the cosmic humanoid’s disposition, Starro is unable to affect him. Ultraman takes advantage of Starro’s inability and rips his arms off; Starro is mortally wounded and soon dies. Frank Martin in the Golden Fox faces the Power Puff Girls. The Girls beat up Martin and the Fox crashes, killing Martin. The Power Puff Girls then join forces with Hawkman, Shazam and Booster Gold to destroy Ultraman.
Forest Region
Squirrel Girl uses her innate ability to communicate with Squirrels #1-15. The bushy-tailed rodents jump on Babe the Ox. Babe attempts to buck the Squirrels off its back to no avail. Although they are only nuisances, Babe (in a loss of control fit) kicks Bunyan across the forest. A disoriented Bunyan attempts to get up and is met by Mr. Immortal and Flatman. Flatman wraps his body around Bunyan. Mr. Immortal then pummels Bunyan in the face and kills the axe-wielding giant. Babe bucks around again, still attempting to dismount the Squirrels. Dormammu uses his mystical energy to fry Squirrels #1-15, off of Babe’s back. While all the Squirrels die in flames, the fires cause Babe to buck out of control. Babe tramples over Big Bertha and Squirrel Girl in the process. Still in an uncontrollable rage, Kong has to put Babe out of its misery.
The Blair Witch sees Darth Plagueis walking through the forest. Plagueis crouches into a battle stance and meets the witch. Dormammu steps in and uses his powers to fry the Blair Witch. Kong rushes after and grabs Mr. Immortal. Kong uses the strongman like a ragdoll and strikes his head repeatedly on the ground. Saruman arrives to the scene and with his dark wizardry kills Mr. Immortal. Plagueis locates Flatman and slices him in half. Kong sees Flatman and moves behind the bushes to use him as toilet paper.
The Final Battle
The remaining combatants are moved to the cityscape of the planet.
The remaining George Washington's Slaves are Agen Kolar, Amazo, Colossus, Santa Claus (w/ Ki Adi Mundi's old lightsaber), Darth Plagueis, Dormammu, Inspector Gadget, Jedi Masters #11-12, 14-17, King Kong, Loki, Saruman, Sauron, Super Soldier and Runner.
The remaining Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies are The Maxx, Speedy Gonzalez, Lobo, Hawkman, The Planeteers: Kwame, Wheeler, Linka, Gi, Ma-Ti and Suchi the Monkey, The Power Puff Girls: Blossom and Bubbles, The Technobots: Scattershot, Lightspeed and Strafe, Ron Popeil, Shazam, Grimlock, Booster Gold and Marines #3, 5, 6, 8-13.
Suchi the monkey throws its poo at the Slaves. Kong responds and Suchi suffocates in Kong’s dung. Lightspeed, Scattershot and Strafe transform into their robot modes and fire upon King Kong. Kong succumbs to the barrage of Transformer firepower. Wheeler hurls his powers of fire at Dormammu. Dormammu laughs at the flames and throws it back at him. Wheeler screams as he bursts into flames and becomes a singed corpse.
Agen Kolar leads Jedi Masters #11-12, 14-17. They are met by Lobo and the Maxx. The duo manages to murder all Jedi Masters. In the melee, Kolar kills the Maxx.
Inspector Gadget’s body folds into a giant mouse trap. Speedy Gonzalez is not fast enough to escape Gadget and the trap snaps shut, breaking the mouse’s neck. While still a mouse trap, Popeil rushes at Gadget and uses the Popeil Pocket Fisherman to tinker with Gadget’s form. Gadget has trouble reverting back into his humanoid guise. At the death of his battle partner, Grimlock comes upon Gadget and crushes him to pieces. Colossus, who has been missing since his flight from the city streets into the sewers, bursts from the drain pipe to the scene of the battle. As he rises from the depths, his head is ripped off by Grimlock’s jaws.
Agen Kolar, Darth Plagueis and Santa Claus meet Marines #3, 5, 6, 8-13. Kolar slices through Marines #3 and 5. Plagueis dices through Marines #6, 8-10. Claus beheads Marines #11-13. Scattershot, Lightspeed and Strafe, in robot form, come to the scene and kill Claus and Kolar. Plagueis escapes, but it is short lived as Lobo catches him and rips him apart. Sauron (who has been missing from the match, for what reason, good readers, shall be explained at a future date. . .) comes at Lobo and kills him. Sauron then joins Saruman, Loki and Dormammu. The magic and mystical wielders rip through the Planeteers. Loki fries Kwame. Saruman cooks Linka. Sauron mashes Gi. Dormammu smashes Ma-Ti.
In the air, Amazo captures Shazam and places him in a hold so that Shazam is defenseless. Super Soldier comes upon the two combatants and with lightning speed strikes. Shazam looks at Super Soldier and notices that his shield is bloodied. Shazam looks down and sees his intestines dripping from his stomach. Shazam dies, his last act being an attempt to push his guts back in his body. Hawkman swoops in and Amazo’s head is crushed in at the force used by Hawkman and his mace. Super Soldier flies in and kills Hawkman. Booster Gold attempts to best Super Soldier, but never reaches him as the Runner rips him apart with the power cosmic. The Runner then finishes off the remaining Technobots, Scattershot, Lightspeed and Strafe.
Popeil stands in front of Grimlock and is flanked on both sides by Bubbles and Blossom. They see the odds are against them. Dormammu, Loki, Saruman, Sauron, Super Soldier and Runner look to the remaining Murderflies.
Loki: Last words?
Popeil: We shall die with honor today!
Loki: That you shall.
Loki is about to signal his teammates to destroy the remaining enemy.
Popeil: But wait, there’s more!!!
Saruman: There is no more. . . .
Dormammu, Loki, Saruman, Sauron and the Runner release their energies upon the Murderflies. Blossom explodes at Dormammu’s hands. Bubbles implodes at Saruman’s hands. Popeil disintegrates at Loki’s hands. Grimlock melts at the Runner’s hands.
Murderflies: All dead.
Slaves: Dormammu, Loki, Saruman, Sauron, Super Soldier and the Runner.
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!!!
The Untouchables Vs. Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve
The Untouchables are The W.I.L.D.C.A.T.S.: Spartan, Grifter, Zealot, Warblade, Maul, Voodoo, Lord Emp, & Void, Zombie Absorbing Man, Jason Todd on Batgirl's Motorcycle, The Fantastic Four: Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch, & Thing, Franklin Richards, She-Hulk, Sodom Yat, Soranak Natu, Bodikka, Tomar Tu, (Green Lantern) Sinestro, Romat Ru, The Avatar Benders: Aang w/ Appa, Katra, Sokka, Toph Bei Phong, & Zuko, Jacob Black, Emperor Han, Cad Bane, Spike in Gen. Grevious' Wheelbike, Darksol, Ben Tennyson, Gwen Tennyson, Grandpa Max, Dust, Kimura, (Red Lantern) Guy Gardner, Maestro, The Galaxy Trio: Vapor Man, Meteor Man, & Gravity Girl, Gree & Horatio Caine in an AT-ST, Megatron, The Constructicons: Hook, Bonecrusher, Mixmaster, Long Haul, Scrapper, & Scavenger, The Pretender Monsters: Icepick, Slog, Birdbrain, Bristleback, Scowl, & Wildfly, The Protectobots: Hot Spot, First Aid, Grooves, Blades, & Streetwise, The Insecticons: Bombshell, Kickback, & Shrapnel, Pyro, Mystique in an Arwing, Rachet, The Sorceress of Castle Grayskull, She-Ra w/ Swiftwind, Madam Razz, & Broom, Boromir, James Bond in an Ornithopter, Tinkerbelle (w/ lightsaber), Big Bird, Snuffeluffagus, Syrin, Green Arrow, Black Canary, MacGyver (w/ Red Lightsaber), Punisher, Dr. Polaris, The Atom, Ant Man, Ant Man 2, Maleficent, Merlin, (Female) Dr. Light, (Male) Dr. Light, Granny Goodness, The Female Furies: Lashina (w/ an Atlas), Gilotina, Bernadeth (w/ a Heat Axe), Stompa (w/ a Halberd), & Mad Harriet, Onslaught, Scourge w/ The Sweeps, (movie) Bumblebee, Matt Oblak (w/ Mandalorian Armor & Blue & Green Lightsabers) & Teresa Oblak (w/ Blue & Green Lightsabers) in a Ferrari F-50, The Legion of Super Heroes: Cosmic Boy, Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl, Bouncing Boy, Triplicate Girl, Timber Wolf, Chameleon Boy, & Karate Kid, (movie) Brawl, Capt. Cold, John Spartan in Battle Ram, Sgt. Todd in a tank, Kung Lao, Prof. Mognonagle, Broadside, Pikachu, & Legolas.
Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Galactus w/ Nova, Terrax, & Firelord, Anakin Skywalker w/ Ahsoka Tano, Mace Windu w/ Jedi Padawan #30, The Inhumans: Black Bolt, Medusa, Triton, Karnack, Gorgon, Crystal, Lockjaw, & Maximus the Mad, Green Lantern #1-2 & 4-5, 6 OA Guardians, Jade, Ajax, Barbarossa, Saint Walker, Indigo 1 & Monk, Dr. Doomsday, The Matrix Ghost Twins (w/ Green Lightsabers), Peter Petrelli, Sylar, Gimli son of Gloin, Scorpononk w/ Lord Zarock, Fin Fang Foom, Mindwipe & Borath, (Beast Wars) Megatron, Calypso, Ares: The god of War, Apollo, Hercules, Kratos, Faith (w/ Blue Lightsaber), Daniel Larussa (w/ Blue Lightsaber), Lord Voldemort, Yong Jedi Knight #1-10, Dark Jedi Master #25A-33A, The Pound: Michael Vick, Brandon Inge (w/ Green Lightsaber), Jack Bauer, Curtis Manning, Justin Oblak (w/ Mandalorian Armor), & Dexter, Matt Parkman, Hiro Nakamura, Claire Bennett, Tracy Strauss, The Haitian, Losho Yik, Manhunter #4-6, Nazgul #6 w/ Fell Beast, Charlie Brown, The Predicons, Sky Links, Droideka #1, Battle Droid #1, & Treasure Troll #25.
Events occur in real time........................
The following takes place between 8 AM & 9 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer, and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). From inside of the AT-ST Gree turns to Horatio Caine and says: "Sir; This is gonna be one huge match". Horatio takes off his sunglasses and replies with: "This is no match.... This is the whole season" (OHHHH... WON'T GET FOOLED AGAIN)!
Not since this team faced off against each other in the first ever FFL match has one between the 2 of them meant so much. With both of these teams in the middle of their best seasons to date, a play-off bid is almost inevitable for both of them. But looming even heavier over their heads is domination of the new AL Central Division, which will give one of their other-worldly owners namesakes' immortality. It was this sense of importance, that prompted even the likes of Galactus and Onslaught to actually "get up" for this match. The 2 of them have put aside their typical apathy and have come to realize that this match is a must win and that in order for their respective teams to win they are going to have to take on each other. It takes a while for Reed Richards and Ares to move their teams into position, but it seems as though they are both ready.
The following takes place between 9 AM and 10 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). From inside the AT-ST Gree turns to Horatio Caine and says: “Well sir, are we ready to begin”. Caine takes off his sunglasses and says: “Ready for World War 3” (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Onslaught and Galactus begin making their way toward one another, despite both being placed at the back of their team’s field. Galactus flies thru The Untouchables team with ease on his way to Onslaught. Galactus uses his incalculable cosmic powers to completely disintegrate Spartan, Grifter, Zealot, Warblade, Maul, Lord Emp, & Void. Zombie Absorbing Man goes crazy at the chance to absorb more power than he has ever been witness to, so he latches on to Galactus; but it is to much for him. He feels an amazing rush of power run thru him before he overloads and explodes. Galactus then “bends” Aang and his crew (get it) until they break before he crushes Jacob Black and Emperor Han under his powerful size-expanded feet. Ben Tennyson as Jet Ray does not put up much of a fight against the cosmic being, and his cousin Gwen and Grandpa Max put up even less. Galactus turns Dust into dust and punishes the Punisher and then does the same to Big Bird and his former-imaginary pal Snuffeluffagus (I still say Sesame Street jumped the shark when everybody else found out he was real). Dr. Light (the female/good version) is giggling like crazy in the cockpit of the ornithopter while James Bond is spitting some furious British game at her, but it does not stop them both from getting vaporized by the mighty Galactus along with Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl, Bouncing Boy, Triplicate Girl, Timber Wolf, & Chameleon Boy. Prof. Mognonagle bit it as well during Galactus’ epic reign of terror.
The following takes place between 10 AM and 11 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer, and this is the longest match of my life (beep_ beep_). Gree says to Horatio: “I don’t know about this sir, we seem to be getting our butt’s kicked so far”. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “yeah galactically, I think it’s time for an onslaught”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Onslaught begins moving thru the Kennelz line with the same kind of ease that Galactus displayed with his team. Onslaught merely shuts off the Inhuman brains of Medusa, Karnack, Gorgon, Crystal, Lockjaw, & Maximus the Mad. He then shows that he is both stronger and more intelligent than Dr. Doomsday, when he causes him to physically crushed with his mind. Faith and the Ghost twins rush in with their lightsabers drawn, but they do not put up much of a fight against the all-powerful mutant. Onslaught is simply offended by Mindwipe’s name , because he believes that nobody has the right to a name like that as long as he exists, so he uses his magnetic powers to rip both him and his homeboy Borath apart. Matt Parkman leads the rush of Dark Jedi Masters, while Claire Bennett does the same with the Young Jedi Knights, but they all meet the same fate: Destruction at the hands of Onslaught. The Haitian and even the mighty Kratos are unable to defend against Onslaught’s powers as well. But after these easy victories, Onslaught finally finds himself toe-to-toe with Galactus.
The following takes place between 11 AM and 12 PM on the day The Kennelz fought the Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer, and this is the longest match of my life. Gree and Horatio look around at the destruction that has already been caused by this match when Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “Well sports fan, it’s time for the main event”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
The fight between Galactus and Onslaught from a spectators view looked like much more of a brawl than I thought it would. With the 2 of these ultra-powered combatants wailing on each other endlessly with their arsenal of attacks. Both have an amazing ability to take all kinds of physical, mental, & cosmic abuse, yet still continue to battle on. In the end though, Onslaught’s homo-superior mutant abilities, no matter how enhanced they have become still could not hold up against the cosmic abilities of Galactus. Galactus focused all of his power at Onslaught, and he eventually defeated the devourer of worlds. With this explosion of cosmic energy the collateral damage is severe for both teams as Mystique in her Arwing, Maleficent, Brawl, & The 3 Manhunters are destroyed.
The following takes place between 12 PM and 1 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer, and this is the longest match of my life. Gree and Horatio are shocked to see their star player go down, which prompts Horatio to take off his sunglasses and says: “I think our teammate just became an offslaught” (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Much like the last time the two of them met, Megatron cannot stand the thought of the imposter Megatron’s existence, and quickly stuns the Beast Wars Megatron with a blast from his arm-mounted laser cannon and then crushes the inferior Megatron with his bare hands. Out in the deep waters Broadside floats as a fallback position for The Untouchables. But both the Autobot and his teammates are unaware of the water squad that The Kennel have in position to take out the large Transformer. Triton, Calypso, & Tracey Strauss all approach and together use their water manipulation skills to capsized Broadside and then crush him under the powerful waves. The trio begins to swim back to the shore but when they get there they find another big showdown is about to happen.
The following takes place between 1PM and 2 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). Gree and Horatio Caine see the battle that is about to take place, and Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “I think some of our guys have quite the magnetic personality. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Peter Petrelli gets within striking distance of Voodoo and Sylar peers into the mind of Dr. Polaris. Voodoo and Dr. Polaris are also joined by Cosmic Boy and The Female Furies who are under orders to stay put and protect the 3 metal manipulators at all cost. The Kennelz 4 green lanterns have similar orders about Sylar and Petrelli. With both teams now loaded with magnetic powers Transformers and other metal objects begin collecting in a metal graveyard in the desert area. Matt & Teresa in The Ferrari F50 jump on the gas to get as far away from the metal mess as possible, but their back-up Spike in the Wheelbike is not quite so lucky. He joins Bumblebee, Megatron, The Constructicons, The Pretender Monsters, The Protectobots, The Insecticons, Rachet, Scourge and the Sweeps in defeat. The Kennelz are hit with this just as hard as Ajax, Barbarossa, Scorpononk, Lord Zarock, The Predicons, Sky Links, Droideka #1, & Battle Droid #1 are sent into the battle’s communal graveyard. Tracy Strauss, Treasure Troll #25, Hiro Nakamura, Calypso, and The Kennelz 2 metal heroes Peter Petrelli & Sylar are all destroyed from the flying metal melee as well. Cosmic Boy leads The Female Furies, Voodoo, & Dr. Polaris against the 4 green lanterns. Stompa stabs green lantern #2 in the heart with her halberd, but her and the rest of the Furies fall at the ring-covered hands of the green lanterns. Dr. Polaris dies as well, but Cosmic Boy and Voodoo prove that they have more than just magnetic powers in their arsenal as they finish off what is left of the green lanterns. On a side note, the Karate Kid fights the Karate Kid and the one with the lightsaber wins.
The following takes place between 2 PM and 3 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). Gree starts driving the AT-ST over toward the main battle ground on the grass-covered area of the play-off planet. They receive news of Reed Richards plan to take out Galactus and Gree asks: “Do you think The Fantastic Four has what it takes to kill Galactus, sir”? Horatio takes off his sunglasses and replies: “I’ll tell you what, after seeing that guy in action; I sure wish they were The Fantastic Forty”. (OHHHH... WON’T GETFOOLED AGAIN).
Galactus’ 3 heralds fly up to lend a hand to their master, but on the way The Galaxy Trio tries to stop them. Nova vaporizes Vapor Man, while Terrax rocks Meteor Man, and Firelord grounds Gravity Girl. The Fantastic Four (including Franklin Richards and She-Hulk) come flying up in The Fantasticar toward Galactus. His 3 heralds are there to protect him but The Richards has thought of this as well as Sodom Yat, Soranak Natu, Bodikka, Tomar Tu, Sinestro, & Romat Ru attack the heralds to clear the way for The Fantastic Four. Invisible Woman, Thing, Human Torch, & She-Hulk all jump out of The Fantasticar to attack Galactus and work as a diversion; but the diversion does not last nearly as long as they had hoped. Galactus uses his powers, might, & size to crush all 4 of them. Reed and his son are furious at the sight of their family members and teammates death which makes their resolve even stronger. Mr. Fantastic pulls out the handheld device that he has just created which has the ability to harness the power of his mutant son. Franklin just sits in the passenger seat and concentrates while Reed aims his device at Galactus. With his own powers and the aid of this technological marvel, Franklin is able to take over the near omnipotent mind of Galactus. Franklin can only muster enough will power to have the one thought that his dad has implanted into his head. With Galactus’ brain he thinks: “the only path to life is my death”. With this singular thought Galactus falls over dead. Reed Richards releases the hold that his machine has, but realizes that his success has cost the ultimate price as Franklin is a vegetable after having witnesses mentally the sheer power of Galactus. The 3 heralds die in their vain attempt to protect their master, but not before they take Soranak Natu & Bodikka with them.
The following takes place between 3 PM and 4 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep). Gree looks next to him and says: “Well sir, the Fantastic Four did, but what a price they had to pay”. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “As far as Reed Richards is concerned, this day wasn’t so fantastic”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Voldemort works up a storm of evil magic that takes out The Sorceress of Castle Grayskull as well as Dr. Polaris and Dr. Light, before Sodom Yat puts the green energy smack down on the evil one and kills him. Ares leads Apollo and Hercules into battle against John Spartan in the Battle Track and Sgt. Todd in the Tank. The 3 Greeks manage to bust apart both of the massive vehicles as well as their drivers before they thaw out Capt. Cold and squash both of the Ant Men. The 3 relatives of Zeus are joined by Losho Yik who has his lightsaber drawn as the 4 of them rush into a melee with She-Ra and her crew. She-Ra seems to be outclassed as she removes the head of Hercules because her horse Swiftwind and her friends Madam Razz and Broom have met very quick deaths, but she receives some back-up. Legolas and his brother from another mother Green Arrow show up on one side while Black Canary and Boromir show up on the other. Losho Yik and Apollo manage to take out Boromir and Black Canary, but they fall to the well-placed arrows of the Emerald Archers shortly afterwards. Ares proves that he is not called the god of war for nothing as he uses his enormous axe to kill both Legolas and Green Arrow, but he then finds that his head is no longer attached to his body when She-Ra comes in from his weak side with a sword to the neck. Nazgul #6 flies in on his fell beast and lands directly on top of Granny Goodness to break her neck. He then crushes Tinkerbelle, mini-lightsaber and all in his iron gauntlet before he squares off against Merlin. Merlin’s magic is more powerful than that of the soulless Ringwraith, but the wizard cannot conjure a spell quick enough to avoid being run thru by the Mordor forged sword of the Nazgul. The Kennelz decide with the death of their leader Ares, and with Galactus being gone, that it is time to unleash their other sizeable opponent.
The following takes place between 4 PM and 5 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). Gree turns to Horatio Caine and asks: “Sir, why do they call him Fin Fang Foom”? Horatio takes off his sunglasses and replies: “I don’t know; but at least we’ll know what to put on his headstone”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Fin Fang Foom thunders on to the scene with all 17 stories of his being ready to destroy anything previously deemed “Untouchable”. Fin Fang Foom swats both Romat Ru and Tomar Tu out of the sky, and then crushes both Kimura and Pyro, before he drops a boulder on the head of Cad Bane. Sodom Yat, Guy Gardner, and Sinestro all circle the huge dragon and barrage him with blasts of green and red energy. Fin Fang Foom seems to stumbling when Horatio Caine grabs the blaster controls of the AT-ST and places a perfectly placed blast bolt which serves as the killing blow to Fin Fang Foom.
The following takes place between 5 PM and 6 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep). Gree looks impressed as he turns to Horatio and says: “Nice shot sir”. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and simply says: “Fin Fang Boom”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Cosmic Boy uses his powers to crush Nazgul #6 inside his own armor and then to drive the sword of The Ringwraith into the back of his fell beast. He then moves against Mace Windu, but before he can attack Mace’s padawan, who may have much to learn still uses his near mastery of the Vandpuun style of fighting that so few Jedi have ever mastered and kills Cosmic Boy with a head shot. Maestro makes quick work of Triton, but is then blown apart by a full force scream from Black Bolt. Mr. Fantastic sees this and sets the proper energy levels on every weapon aboard the Fantasticar. He then kamikaze crashes into his former Illuminati friend Black Bolt to join the rest of his family in giving the ultimate sacrifice for The Untouchables. Gimli then delivers an axe to the head of Kung Lao at 5:59:59 PM.
The following takes place between 6 PM and 7 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life. Gree turns to Horatio and says: “We’re taking heavy losses sir the death toll on both sides is huge”. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “They don’t call it the big week for nothing”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Anakin and Ahsoka mow thru MacGyver before he can even ignite his lightsaber, on their way to Siryn who they kill almost as quickly. The Atom then climbs in thru the ear of Jade and kills her before she even knows that he is there.
The following takes place between 7 PM and 8 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). Gree turns to Horatio and says: “I don’t know about this sir, it feels like we are losing”. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “Sometimes even the narrator doesn’t know”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Sodom Yat Guy Gardner, and Sinestro decide that they need to take control of this match if they are going to finish off The Kennelz and end their 5 game win streak. They mop the air with Saint Walker, Indigo 1, & Monk, and then take out Master Windu’s Padawan as well.
The following takes place between 8 PM and 9 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). Gree turns to Horatio and says: “Do you think we have what it takes sir”? Horatio takes off his sunglasses and replies with: “We’re gonna need something to light the way. It’s a good thing we brought lanterns”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Anakin leads his padawan Ahsoka and Gimli into battle against Darksol. Darksol casts Desoul, but Anakin is able to deflect with the force while Ahsoka and Gimli rush in and finish him off with a flurry of melee attacks.
The following takes place between 9 PM and 10 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: MY name is Jack Bauer, and this is the longest match of my life. Gree and Horatio Caine walk over in their AT-ST and see the dead body of the once mighty Darksol. Gree turns to Horatio and says: “I can’t believe those 2 little weird looking things were able to defeat Darksol”. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “It looks like the guy with the beard just needed to axe him a few questions”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Mace Windu force leaps high into the air and simultaneously uses the force to hold Guy Gardner in place and to give him the physical strength to push thru his protective aura with his lightsaber to cut him in half. Mace then lands and finds himself surrounded by both Sodom Yat and Sinestro.
The following takes place between 10 PM and 11 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). Gree turns to Horatio and says: “It is getting late sir”. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and replies: “Not to late for the cavalry”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Mace is surrounded but seemingly out of nowhere The 6 OA Guardians show up to even the odds. A stand-off begins between these powerful green energy laden beings.
The following takes place between 11 PM and 12 AM on the day the Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life. Gree turns to Horatio and says: “This could be one heck of a showdown sir”. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “I think we have a new meaning for “going green””. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
2 green lanterns should have no chance against all 6 of the Guardians of OA considering that they are in fact the creators and controllers of the very power that the green lanterns wield, but these are not just any 2 green lanterns. Sinestro unleashes a firestorm of green energy on the Guardians which rips them apart before the other Guardians are able to strip him off his power and kill his powerless Qwardian body.
The following takes place between 12 AM and 1 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest day of my life (beep_beep_). Gree turns to Horatio and says: “Do you think our boys have a chance at defeating those little blue guys sir”? Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “Those boys would give a snowball a chance back home in Miami”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
The Guardians never get the chance to take away Sodom Yat’s green energy power because before they can he unloads every ounce of it into the bodies of The Guardians topping Sinestro’s feat and killing 3 of them. The remaining Guardian moves to attack and finish Sodom Yat with his empty power ring, but Sodom Yat is still after all a Daxomite, and is far from powerless. Sodom Yat works up as much strength as he can and crushes the last remaining Guardian with his bare hands.
The following takes place between 1 AM and 2 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest day of my life (beep_beep_). Gree and Caine were headed towards the desert when a message comes in from the rest of the team. Gree turns to Horatio and says: The rest of the team is regrouping in the city and it sounds like the few remaining members of The Kennelz are as well sir”. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “Well I guess it is time to turn this thing around in more ways than one”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
While the rest of the 2 teams are regrouping Mace Windu jumps into action against the weakened Sodom Yat and finishes him off with his purple lightsaber. Mace then begins running at Jedi speed to meet up with his team and see this battle to the end one way or another.
The following takes place between 2 AM and 3 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). Gree and Horatio show up in the heart of the city where the 2 teams seem to mounting up for the final battle. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “Time for the main event” (OHHHH.... WON’T GET. FOO....) Gree interrupts with: “Didn’t you already use that one sir”? Caine points at Gree and says: “HEY nobody interrupts me or The Who (he takes his sunglasses back off before he finishes the sentence) unless they wanna get hurt”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Matt & Teresa race up in their Ferrari with Jason Todd following behind them on Batgirl’s Motorcycle. But Anakin and Ahsoka run towards them head on and take out the tires on both vehicles. The passengers all escape and regroup with their team, but the vehicles are destroyed.
The following takes place between 3 AM and 4 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). What is left of The Untouchables rallies around the legs of Gree and Horatio’s AT-ST, which prompts Horatio to take off his sunglasses and say: “Looks like we got the band back together”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Michael Vick gets what is left of his team together behind a fallen billboard and says: “We wait for them to show up and then it’ll be time for the Dog Pound to wrap this match up once and for all”. “You ready son” he adds as he pats The Mandalorian Armored Golden Boy on the back (Justin has painted his armor gold, to go with his super-hero nickname by the way).
The following takes place between 4 AM and 5 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest day of my life. Gree turns to Horatio and says: Well sir, I guess this is it”. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “I think it’s about time to pound the pound”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Little do The Untouchables know that Curtis and Bauer actually pulled a covert ops mission earlier and rigged the AT-ST up to explode. But Horatio was brighter than they though and deactivated the remote activator on the bomb. When Jack tells Curtis to detonate the bomb and nothing happens, Michael Vick’s Kennelz quickly figure out what Caine must have done. Curtis throws down the remote and says with vigor: “Well, I can still detonate it manually” Curtis then rushes into enemy territory (We’re only talking like twenty feet away here people) and uses his M-16 to blow up the charges that he has in place. Curtis manages to destroy the mini-imperial walker, but Horatio and Gree jump out and escape in time.
The following takes place between 5 AM and 6 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest day of my life (beep_beep_). Horatio shakes off the blast from the AT-ST and then takes off his sunglasses and says: “It’s time to put these dogs to sleep”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
The battle begins with Pikachu frying Charlie Brown and Dexter pouncing on the Pokemon and eating him for breakfast (literally, it’s almost 6 in the mourning, these teams are starving). Individual fights seem to begin as the match comes to a close.
The following takes place between 6 AM and 7 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). Gree turns to Horatio and says: Good luck sir. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “Let’s tell the Kennelz to crate up”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Bauer leads Vick and Inge against Jason Todd who is in a fighting stance that Batman would be very proud of. Gree blasts Dexter, but the dog is avenged quickly by Justin who burns Gree alive with his suit’s built in flame-throwers. Anakin moves against She-Ra, while Mace brings Gimli along to help him our against Horatio. Ahsoka squares off against Teresa who has both of her lightsabers drawn and ignited and Matt goes up against Danielson in a lightsaber duel as well, which ends with Matt deflecting Daniel‘s lightsaber with his green one while he puts the blue one into his chest in the last minute of the hour..
The following takes place between 7 AM and 8 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables, my name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). Horatio sees who is coming at him and although Gree isn’t there to hear it anymore takes off his sunglasses for the last time and says: “Huh, a Jedi Master and a Dwarf Lord, I must be doing something right”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Horatio unloads his pistol at Mace and Gimli and throws down a couple of killer moves he learned in the hood, but in the end cannot handle the double-teamed assault of Mace and Gimli. Teresa is getting pretty good with her double lightsaber technique, but she isn’t quite as practiced as Ahsoka who is able to get her with a lightsaber to the chest. She-Ra surprises everyone when she is able to dodge the lightsaber thrusts of Anakin and then finish him off with a sword to the neck, but she is then overtaken by Mace and Ahsoka who are done with their opponents. Michael Vick and Brandon Inge both rush in against Jason Todd, and are both met with batarangs to the neck, Vick dies instantly as if he were an electrocuted dog, but Inge with his dying breath throws his lightsaber to his BFF Justin “The Golden Boy” Oblak. Justin catches the lightsaber and then squares off toe to toe with his brother, who like him is suited in Mandalorian Armor. Jack Bauer begins battling with Jason Todd. The former sidekick of Batman is fast, but Jack is even faster. Jack evades Todd’s aerial attack an then knocks Jason to the ground and wraps his ankles around his neck. Jack then snaps Jason Todd’s neck with his feet. Justin looks at his brother and says to him: “You don’t really expect to win do you, I’ve always been the golden boy”. “Yeah, but I’m still you’re older brother” Matt says as he attacks Justin with both of his lightsabers spinning. Justin looks at Matt and says: “Oh, I see you need 2 lightsabers to compete with my skills”. Matt replies with: “I guess there are no rules in love and war”. The Golden Boy asks: “Which one is this”? Justin is then knocked to the ground by a swift kick from Matt, but once down he shoots a blaster bolt from his wrist that knocks Matt’s green lightsaber to the ground. Justin then hops up with the aid of his jetpack and moves at his brother with blinding speed. Justin tries to attack up high, but Matt goes low with his lightsaber and simultaneously answers Justin’s question. “A bit of both” Matt says as he catches his only brother just under the neck with his lightsaber. Matt is standing over the body of his dead brother when Jack Bauer pulls the knife from his boot and aims it perfectly into the kink in the neck of the Mandalorian Armor to kill Matt Oblak.
MICHAEL VICK’S BAD NEWZ KENNELZ OF LURVE ARE VICTORIOUS!
Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Galactus w/ Nova, Terrax, & Firelord, Anakin Skywalker w/ Ahsoka Tano, Mace Windu w/ Jedi Padawan #30, The Inhumans: Black Bolt, Medusa, Triton, Karnack, Gorgon, Crystal, Lockjaw, & Maximus the Mad, Green Lantern #1-2 & 4-5, 6 OA Guardians, Jade, Ajax, Barbarossa, Saint Walker, Indigo 1 & Monk, Dr. Doomsday, The Matrix Ghost Twins (w/ Green Lightsabers), Peter Petrelli, Sylar, Gimli son of Gloin, Scorpononk w/ Lord Zarock, Fin Fang Foom, Mindwipe & Borath, (Beast Wars) Megatron, Calypso, Ares: The god of War, Apollo, Hercules, Kratos, Faith (w/ Blue Lightsaber), Daniel Larussa (w/ Blue Lightsaber), Lord Voldemort, Yong Jedi Knight #1-10, Dark Jedi Master #25A-33A, The Pound: Michael Vick, Brandon Inge (w/ Green Lightsaber), Jack Bauer, Curtis Manning, Justin Oblak (w/ Mandalorian Armor), & Dexter, Matt Parkman, Hiro Nakamura, Claire Bennett, Tracy Strauss, The Haitian, Losho Yik, Manhunter #4-6, Nazgul #6 w/ Fell Beast, Charlie Brown, The Predicons, Sky Links, Droideka #1, Battle Droid #1, & Treasure Troll #25.
Events occur in real time........................
The following takes place between 8 AM & 9 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer, and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). From inside of the AT-ST Gree turns to Horatio Caine and says: "Sir; This is gonna be one huge match". Horatio takes off his sunglasses and replies with: "This is no match.... This is the whole season" (OHHHH... WON'T GET FOOLED AGAIN)!
Not since this team faced off against each other in the first ever FFL match has one between the 2 of them meant so much. With both of these teams in the middle of their best seasons to date, a play-off bid is almost inevitable for both of them. But looming even heavier over their heads is domination of the new AL Central Division, which will give one of their other-worldly owners namesakes' immortality. It was this sense of importance, that prompted even the likes of Galactus and Onslaught to actually "get up" for this match. The 2 of them have put aside their typical apathy and have come to realize that this match is a must win and that in order for their respective teams to win they are going to have to take on each other. It takes a while for Reed Richards and Ares to move their teams into position, but it seems as though they are both ready.
The following takes place between 9 AM and 10 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). From inside the AT-ST Gree turns to Horatio Caine and says: “Well sir, are we ready to begin”. Caine takes off his sunglasses and says: “Ready for World War 3” (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Onslaught and Galactus begin making their way toward one another, despite both being placed at the back of their team’s field. Galactus flies thru The Untouchables team with ease on his way to Onslaught. Galactus uses his incalculable cosmic powers to completely disintegrate Spartan, Grifter, Zealot, Warblade, Maul, Lord Emp, & Void. Zombie Absorbing Man goes crazy at the chance to absorb more power than he has ever been witness to, so he latches on to Galactus; but it is to much for him. He feels an amazing rush of power run thru him before he overloads and explodes. Galactus then “bends” Aang and his crew (get it) until they break before he crushes Jacob Black and Emperor Han under his powerful size-expanded feet. Ben Tennyson as Jet Ray does not put up much of a fight against the cosmic being, and his cousin Gwen and Grandpa Max put up even less. Galactus turns Dust into dust and punishes the Punisher and then does the same to Big Bird and his former-imaginary pal Snuffeluffagus (I still say Sesame Street jumped the shark when everybody else found out he was real). Dr. Light (the female/good version) is giggling like crazy in the cockpit of the ornithopter while James Bond is spitting some furious British game at her, but it does not stop them both from getting vaporized by the mighty Galactus along with Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl, Bouncing Boy, Triplicate Girl, Timber Wolf, & Chameleon Boy. Prof. Mognonagle bit it as well during Galactus’ epic reign of terror.
The following takes place between 10 AM and 11 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer, and this is the longest match of my life (beep_ beep_). Gree says to Horatio: “I don’t know about this sir, we seem to be getting our butt’s kicked so far”. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “yeah galactically, I think it’s time for an onslaught”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Onslaught begins moving thru the Kennelz line with the same kind of ease that Galactus displayed with his team. Onslaught merely shuts off the Inhuman brains of Medusa, Karnack, Gorgon, Crystal, Lockjaw, & Maximus the Mad. He then shows that he is both stronger and more intelligent than Dr. Doomsday, when he causes him to physically crushed with his mind. Faith and the Ghost twins rush in with their lightsabers drawn, but they do not put up much of a fight against the all-powerful mutant. Onslaught is simply offended by Mindwipe’s name , because he believes that nobody has the right to a name like that as long as he exists, so he uses his magnetic powers to rip both him and his homeboy Borath apart. Matt Parkman leads the rush of Dark Jedi Masters, while Claire Bennett does the same with the Young Jedi Knights, but they all meet the same fate: Destruction at the hands of Onslaught. The Haitian and even the mighty Kratos are unable to defend against Onslaught’s powers as well. But after these easy victories, Onslaught finally finds himself toe-to-toe with Galactus.
The following takes place between 11 AM and 12 PM on the day The Kennelz fought the Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer, and this is the longest match of my life. Gree and Horatio look around at the destruction that has already been caused by this match when Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “Well sports fan, it’s time for the main event”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
The fight between Galactus and Onslaught from a spectators view looked like much more of a brawl than I thought it would. With the 2 of these ultra-powered combatants wailing on each other endlessly with their arsenal of attacks. Both have an amazing ability to take all kinds of physical, mental, & cosmic abuse, yet still continue to battle on. In the end though, Onslaught’s homo-superior mutant abilities, no matter how enhanced they have become still could not hold up against the cosmic abilities of Galactus. Galactus focused all of his power at Onslaught, and he eventually defeated the devourer of worlds. With this explosion of cosmic energy the collateral damage is severe for both teams as Mystique in her Arwing, Maleficent, Brawl, & The 3 Manhunters are destroyed.
The following takes place between 12 PM and 1 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer, and this is the longest match of my life. Gree and Horatio are shocked to see their star player go down, which prompts Horatio to take off his sunglasses and says: “I think our teammate just became an offslaught” (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Much like the last time the two of them met, Megatron cannot stand the thought of the imposter Megatron’s existence, and quickly stuns the Beast Wars Megatron with a blast from his arm-mounted laser cannon and then crushes the inferior Megatron with his bare hands. Out in the deep waters Broadside floats as a fallback position for The Untouchables. But both the Autobot and his teammates are unaware of the water squad that The Kennel have in position to take out the large Transformer. Triton, Calypso, & Tracey Strauss all approach and together use their water manipulation skills to capsized Broadside and then crush him under the powerful waves. The trio begins to swim back to the shore but when they get there they find another big showdown is about to happen.
The following takes place between 1PM and 2 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). Gree and Horatio Caine see the battle that is about to take place, and Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “I think some of our guys have quite the magnetic personality. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Peter Petrelli gets within striking distance of Voodoo and Sylar peers into the mind of Dr. Polaris. Voodoo and Dr. Polaris are also joined by Cosmic Boy and The Female Furies who are under orders to stay put and protect the 3 metal manipulators at all cost. The Kennelz 4 green lanterns have similar orders about Sylar and Petrelli. With both teams now loaded with magnetic powers Transformers and other metal objects begin collecting in a metal graveyard in the desert area. Matt & Teresa in The Ferrari F50 jump on the gas to get as far away from the metal mess as possible, but their back-up Spike in the Wheelbike is not quite so lucky. He joins Bumblebee, Megatron, The Constructicons, The Pretender Monsters, The Protectobots, The Insecticons, Rachet, Scourge and the Sweeps in defeat. The Kennelz are hit with this just as hard as Ajax, Barbarossa, Scorpononk, Lord Zarock, The Predicons, Sky Links, Droideka #1, & Battle Droid #1 are sent into the battle’s communal graveyard. Tracy Strauss, Treasure Troll #25, Hiro Nakamura, Calypso, and The Kennelz 2 metal heroes Peter Petrelli & Sylar are all destroyed from the flying metal melee as well. Cosmic Boy leads The Female Furies, Voodoo, & Dr. Polaris against the 4 green lanterns. Stompa stabs green lantern #2 in the heart with her halberd, but her and the rest of the Furies fall at the ring-covered hands of the green lanterns. Dr. Polaris dies as well, but Cosmic Boy and Voodoo prove that they have more than just magnetic powers in their arsenal as they finish off what is left of the green lanterns. On a side note, the Karate Kid fights the Karate Kid and the one with the lightsaber wins.
The following takes place between 2 PM and 3 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). Gree starts driving the AT-ST over toward the main battle ground on the grass-covered area of the play-off planet. They receive news of Reed Richards plan to take out Galactus and Gree asks: “Do you think The Fantastic Four has what it takes to kill Galactus, sir”? Horatio takes off his sunglasses and replies: “I’ll tell you what, after seeing that guy in action; I sure wish they were The Fantastic Forty”. (OHHHH... WON’T GETFOOLED AGAIN).
Galactus’ 3 heralds fly up to lend a hand to their master, but on the way The Galaxy Trio tries to stop them. Nova vaporizes Vapor Man, while Terrax rocks Meteor Man, and Firelord grounds Gravity Girl. The Fantastic Four (including Franklin Richards and She-Hulk) come flying up in The Fantasticar toward Galactus. His 3 heralds are there to protect him but The Richards has thought of this as well as Sodom Yat, Soranak Natu, Bodikka, Tomar Tu, Sinestro, & Romat Ru attack the heralds to clear the way for The Fantastic Four. Invisible Woman, Thing, Human Torch, & She-Hulk all jump out of The Fantasticar to attack Galactus and work as a diversion; but the diversion does not last nearly as long as they had hoped. Galactus uses his powers, might, & size to crush all 4 of them. Reed and his son are furious at the sight of their family members and teammates death which makes their resolve even stronger. Mr. Fantastic pulls out the handheld device that he has just created which has the ability to harness the power of his mutant son. Franklin just sits in the passenger seat and concentrates while Reed aims his device at Galactus. With his own powers and the aid of this technological marvel, Franklin is able to take over the near omnipotent mind of Galactus. Franklin can only muster enough will power to have the one thought that his dad has implanted into his head. With Galactus’ brain he thinks: “the only path to life is my death”. With this singular thought Galactus falls over dead. Reed Richards releases the hold that his machine has, but realizes that his success has cost the ultimate price as Franklin is a vegetable after having witnesses mentally the sheer power of Galactus. The 3 heralds die in their vain attempt to protect their master, but not before they take Soranak Natu & Bodikka with them.
The following takes place between 3 PM and 4 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep). Gree looks next to him and says: “Well sir, the Fantastic Four did, but what a price they had to pay”. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “As far as Reed Richards is concerned, this day wasn’t so fantastic”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Voldemort works up a storm of evil magic that takes out The Sorceress of Castle Grayskull as well as Dr. Polaris and Dr. Light, before Sodom Yat puts the green energy smack down on the evil one and kills him. Ares leads Apollo and Hercules into battle against John Spartan in the Battle Track and Sgt. Todd in the Tank. The 3 Greeks manage to bust apart both of the massive vehicles as well as their drivers before they thaw out Capt. Cold and squash both of the Ant Men. The 3 relatives of Zeus are joined by Losho Yik who has his lightsaber drawn as the 4 of them rush into a melee with She-Ra and her crew. She-Ra seems to be outclassed as she removes the head of Hercules because her horse Swiftwind and her friends Madam Razz and Broom have met very quick deaths, but she receives some back-up. Legolas and his brother from another mother Green Arrow show up on one side while Black Canary and Boromir show up on the other. Losho Yik and Apollo manage to take out Boromir and Black Canary, but they fall to the well-placed arrows of the Emerald Archers shortly afterwards. Ares proves that he is not called the god of war for nothing as he uses his enormous axe to kill both Legolas and Green Arrow, but he then finds that his head is no longer attached to his body when She-Ra comes in from his weak side with a sword to the neck. Nazgul #6 flies in on his fell beast and lands directly on top of Granny Goodness to break her neck. He then crushes Tinkerbelle, mini-lightsaber and all in his iron gauntlet before he squares off against Merlin. Merlin’s magic is more powerful than that of the soulless Ringwraith, but the wizard cannot conjure a spell quick enough to avoid being run thru by the Mordor forged sword of the Nazgul. The Kennelz decide with the death of their leader Ares, and with Galactus being gone, that it is time to unleash their other sizeable opponent.
The following takes place between 4 PM and 5 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). Gree turns to Horatio Caine and asks: “Sir, why do they call him Fin Fang Foom”? Horatio takes off his sunglasses and replies: “I don’t know; but at least we’ll know what to put on his headstone”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Fin Fang Foom thunders on to the scene with all 17 stories of his being ready to destroy anything previously deemed “Untouchable”. Fin Fang Foom swats both Romat Ru and Tomar Tu out of the sky, and then crushes both Kimura and Pyro, before he drops a boulder on the head of Cad Bane. Sodom Yat, Guy Gardner, and Sinestro all circle the huge dragon and barrage him with blasts of green and red energy. Fin Fang Foom seems to stumbling when Horatio Caine grabs the blaster controls of the AT-ST and places a perfectly placed blast bolt which serves as the killing blow to Fin Fang Foom.
The following takes place between 5 PM and 6 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep). Gree looks impressed as he turns to Horatio and says: “Nice shot sir”. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and simply says: “Fin Fang Boom”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Cosmic Boy uses his powers to crush Nazgul #6 inside his own armor and then to drive the sword of The Ringwraith into the back of his fell beast. He then moves against Mace Windu, but before he can attack Mace’s padawan, who may have much to learn still uses his near mastery of the Vandpuun style of fighting that so few Jedi have ever mastered and kills Cosmic Boy with a head shot. Maestro makes quick work of Triton, but is then blown apart by a full force scream from Black Bolt. Mr. Fantastic sees this and sets the proper energy levels on every weapon aboard the Fantasticar. He then kamikaze crashes into his former Illuminati friend Black Bolt to join the rest of his family in giving the ultimate sacrifice for The Untouchables. Gimli then delivers an axe to the head of Kung Lao at 5:59:59 PM.
The following takes place between 6 PM and 7 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life. Gree turns to Horatio and says: “We’re taking heavy losses sir the death toll on both sides is huge”. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “They don’t call it the big week for nothing”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Anakin and Ahsoka mow thru MacGyver before he can even ignite his lightsaber, on their way to Siryn who they kill almost as quickly. The Atom then climbs in thru the ear of Jade and kills her before she even knows that he is there.
The following takes place between 7 PM and 8 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). Gree turns to Horatio and says: “I don’t know about this sir, it feels like we are losing”. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “Sometimes even the narrator doesn’t know”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Sodom Yat Guy Gardner, and Sinestro decide that they need to take control of this match if they are going to finish off The Kennelz and end their 5 game win streak. They mop the air with Saint Walker, Indigo 1, & Monk, and then take out Master Windu’s Padawan as well.
The following takes place between 8 PM and 9 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). Gree turns to Horatio and says: “Do you think we have what it takes sir”? Horatio takes off his sunglasses and replies with: “We’re gonna need something to light the way. It’s a good thing we brought lanterns”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Anakin leads his padawan Ahsoka and Gimli into battle against Darksol. Darksol casts Desoul, but Anakin is able to deflect with the force while Ahsoka and Gimli rush in and finish him off with a flurry of melee attacks.
The following takes place between 9 PM and 10 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: MY name is Jack Bauer, and this is the longest match of my life. Gree and Horatio Caine walk over in their AT-ST and see the dead body of the once mighty Darksol. Gree turns to Horatio and says: “I can’t believe those 2 little weird looking things were able to defeat Darksol”. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “It looks like the guy with the beard just needed to axe him a few questions”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Mace Windu force leaps high into the air and simultaneously uses the force to hold Guy Gardner in place and to give him the physical strength to push thru his protective aura with his lightsaber to cut him in half. Mace then lands and finds himself surrounded by both Sodom Yat and Sinestro.
The following takes place between 10 PM and 11 PM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). Gree turns to Horatio and says: “It is getting late sir”. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and replies: “Not to late for the cavalry”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Mace is surrounded but seemingly out of nowhere The 6 OA Guardians show up to even the odds. A stand-off begins between these powerful green energy laden beings.
The following takes place between 11 PM and 12 AM on the day the Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life. Gree turns to Horatio and says: “This could be one heck of a showdown sir”. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “I think we have a new meaning for “going green””. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
2 green lanterns should have no chance against all 6 of the Guardians of OA considering that they are in fact the creators and controllers of the very power that the green lanterns wield, but these are not just any 2 green lanterns. Sinestro unleashes a firestorm of green energy on the Guardians which rips them apart before the other Guardians are able to strip him off his power and kill his powerless Qwardian body.
The following takes place between 12 AM and 1 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest day of my life (beep_beep_). Gree turns to Horatio and says: “Do you think our boys have a chance at defeating those little blue guys sir”? Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “Those boys would give a snowball a chance back home in Miami”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
The Guardians never get the chance to take away Sodom Yat’s green energy power because before they can he unloads every ounce of it into the bodies of The Guardians topping Sinestro’s feat and killing 3 of them. The remaining Guardian moves to attack and finish Sodom Yat with his empty power ring, but Sodom Yat is still after all a Daxomite, and is far from powerless. Sodom Yat works up as much strength as he can and crushes the last remaining Guardian with his bare hands.
The following takes place between 1 AM and 2 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest day of my life (beep_beep_). Gree and Caine were headed towards the desert when a message comes in from the rest of the team. Gree turns to Horatio and says: The rest of the team is regrouping in the city and it sounds like the few remaining members of The Kennelz are as well sir”. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “Well I guess it is time to turn this thing around in more ways than one”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
While the rest of the 2 teams are regrouping Mace Windu jumps into action against the weakened Sodom Yat and finishes him off with his purple lightsaber. Mace then begins running at Jedi speed to meet up with his team and see this battle to the end one way or another.
The following takes place between 2 AM and 3 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). Gree and Horatio show up in the heart of the city where the 2 teams seem to mounting up for the final battle. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “Time for the main event” (OHHHH.... WON’T GET. FOO....) Gree interrupts with: “Didn’t you already use that one sir”? Caine points at Gree and says: “HEY nobody interrupts me or The Who (he takes his sunglasses back off before he finishes the sentence) unless they wanna get hurt”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Matt & Teresa race up in their Ferrari with Jason Todd following behind them on Batgirl’s Motorcycle. But Anakin and Ahsoka run towards them head on and take out the tires on both vehicles. The passengers all escape and regroup with their team, but the vehicles are destroyed.
The following takes place between 3 AM and 4 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). What is left of The Untouchables rallies around the legs of Gree and Horatio’s AT-ST, which prompts Horatio to take off his sunglasses and say: “Looks like we got the band back together”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Michael Vick gets what is left of his team together behind a fallen billboard and says: “We wait for them to show up and then it’ll be time for the Dog Pound to wrap this match up once and for all”. “You ready son” he adds as he pats The Mandalorian Armored Golden Boy on the back (Justin has painted his armor gold, to go with his super-hero nickname by the way).
The following takes place between 4 AM and 5 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest day of my life. Gree turns to Horatio and says: Well sir, I guess this is it”. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “I think it’s about time to pound the pound”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Little do The Untouchables know that Curtis and Bauer actually pulled a covert ops mission earlier and rigged the AT-ST up to explode. But Horatio was brighter than they though and deactivated the remote activator on the bomb. When Jack tells Curtis to detonate the bomb and nothing happens, Michael Vick’s Kennelz quickly figure out what Caine must have done. Curtis throws down the remote and says with vigor: “Well, I can still detonate it manually” Curtis then rushes into enemy territory (We’re only talking like twenty feet away here people) and uses his M-16 to blow up the charges that he has in place. Curtis manages to destroy the mini-imperial walker, but Horatio and Gree jump out and escape in time.
The following takes place between 5 AM and 6 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest day of my life (beep_beep_). Horatio shakes off the blast from the AT-ST and then takes off his sunglasses and says: “It’s time to put these dogs to sleep”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
The battle begins with Pikachu frying Charlie Brown and Dexter pouncing on the Pokemon and eating him for breakfast (literally, it’s almost 6 in the mourning, these teams are starving). Individual fights seem to begin as the match comes to a close.
The following takes place between 6 AM and 7 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables: My name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). Gree turns to Horatio and says: Good luck sir. Horatio takes off his sunglasses and says: “Let’s tell the Kennelz to crate up”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Bauer leads Vick and Inge against Jason Todd who is in a fighting stance that Batman would be very proud of. Gree blasts Dexter, but the dog is avenged quickly by Justin who burns Gree alive with his suit’s built in flame-throwers. Anakin moves against She-Ra, while Mace brings Gimli along to help him our against Horatio. Ahsoka squares off against Teresa who has both of her lightsabers drawn and ignited and Matt goes up against Danielson in a lightsaber duel as well, which ends with Matt deflecting Daniel‘s lightsaber with his green one while he puts the blue one into his chest in the last minute of the hour..
The following takes place between 7 AM and 8 AM on the day The Kennelz fought The Untouchables, my name is Jack Bauer and this is the longest match of my life (beep_beep_). Horatio sees who is coming at him and although Gree isn’t there to hear it anymore takes off his sunglasses for the last time and says: “Huh, a Jedi Master and a Dwarf Lord, I must be doing something right”. (OHHHH... WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN).
Horatio unloads his pistol at Mace and Gimli and throws down a couple of killer moves he learned in the hood, but in the end cannot handle the double-teamed assault of Mace and Gimli. Teresa is getting pretty good with her double lightsaber technique, but she isn’t quite as practiced as Ahsoka who is able to get her with a lightsaber to the chest. She-Ra surprises everyone when she is able to dodge the lightsaber thrusts of Anakin and then finish him off with a sword to the neck, but she is then overtaken by Mace and Ahsoka who are done with their opponents. Michael Vick and Brandon Inge both rush in against Jason Todd, and are both met with batarangs to the neck, Vick dies instantly as if he were an electrocuted dog, but Inge with his dying breath throws his lightsaber to his BFF Justin “The Golden Boy” Oblak. Justin catches the lightsaber and then squares off toe to toe with his brother, who like him is suited in Mandalorian Armor. Jack Bauer begins battling with Jason Todd. The former sidekick of Batman is fast, but Jack is even faster. Jack evades Todd’s aerial attack an then knocks Jason to the ground and wraps his ankles around his neck. Jack then snaps Jason Todd’s neck with his feet. Justin looks at his brother and says to him: “You don’t really expect to win do you, I’ve always been the golden boy”. “Yeah, but I’m still you’re older brother” Matt says as he attacks Justin with both of his lightsabers spinning. Justin looks at Matt and says: “Oh, I see you need 2 lightsabers to compete with my skills”. Matt replies with: “I guess there are no rules in love and war”. The Golden Boy asks: “Which one is this”? Justin is then knocked to the ground by a swift kick from Matt, but once down he shoots a blaster bolt from his wrist that knocks Matt’s green lightsaber to the ground. Justin then hops up with the aid of his jetpack and moves at his brother with blinding speed. Justin tries to attack up high, but Matt goes low with his lightsaber and simultaneously answers Justin’s question. “A bit of both” Matt says as he catches his only brother just under the neck with his lightsaber. Matt is standing over the body of his dead brother when Jack Bauer pulls the knife from his boot and aims it perfectly into the kink in the neck of the Mandalorian Armor to kill Matt Oblak.
MICHAEL VICK’S BAD NEWZ KENNELZ OF LURVE ARE VICTORIOUS!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Message from Logical Genocide
The Fantasy Fantasy league would like to congratulate Logical Genocide owner and member Chris Seeney on the birth of his son Jackson Lawrence, today April 16th.
Chris would like to thank the entire FFL for all the kindness shown to him, and is glad to be apart of such a group that would find his inane ramblings so amusing. He looks forward to getting to know everyone better, and to show off the rest of his family at the end of the season bbq.
Jackson weighed in at 7 lbs 6 oz. His father has said he thinks Jack might have a slight connection to the "Speed Force" and is already being trained in the ways of the emotional light spectrum to be as big of a green lantern freak as his proud poppa. Chris looks forward to having his son join him on The FFL Roster of Logical Genocide when Jack goes FFL Pro in 2 years.
Chris would like to thank the entire FFL for all the kindness shown to him, and is glad to be apart of such a group that would find his inane ramblings so amusing. He looks forward to getting to know everyone better, and to show off the rest of his family at the end of the season bbq.
Jackson weighed in at 7 lbs 6 oz. His father has said he thinks Jack might have a slight connection to the "Speed Force" and is already being trained in the ways of the emotional light spectrum to be as big of a green lantern freak as his proud poppa. Chris looks forward to having his son join him on The FFL Roster of Logical Genocide when Jack goes FFL Pro in 2 years.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Announcing...
Congratulations are in order for Logical Genocide's GM Chris Seeney and his wife. They just welcomed their brand new baby boy, Jackson Lawrence, into the world today. He's 7 lbs. and 6 oz. We here at Fantasy Fantasy League would like to extend our most heartfelt congratulations to the happy family. Great job guys.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
I assure you...
The Easter Classic is coming.
The combatants lay dead on the battlefield. The lucky ones anyway.
The island will never be the same.
Monday, April 12, 2010
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