Week 8: The Underhills vs TEAM

 TEAM: Kyle Houslander, Thunderstrike, Tenzen, Tarrlok, Katara, Sokka, Toph, Appa, Momo, Mel Gibson, Kyles Jeep

The Underhills: Punisher, Microchip, John Stewart, Green Lanterns #1-5, Blue Lanterns #1-2, Revan Reborn, Starkiller, Darth Talon, Xenomorph Alien #1-9

I showed up late to the match on account that I was stuck at graduation for like five hours, but I couldn't miss our school president witerally gwidding across the stage. What I witnessed walking in was a horror. There was blood everywhere, Kyle's Jeep was crashed through the wall with Darth Talon under it and Kyle (unalive) still inside and Everlong by the Foo Fighters playing on the radio.

Tenzen, Sokka, Toph, Appa, and Momo on the TEAM side and Microchip, Green Lanterns 1-5, Blue Lanterns 1-2, and Xenomorphs 1-9 on the Underhills were dead in the halls leading to the gym. I could hear the battle in the gym on my approach. I peaked my head in when the Punisher ran into the wall next to me pinning Mel Gibson, who seemed really into the pain, guess some people just never get over the Passion of the Christ. As Punisher kept laying down the sauce, it just seemed to empower Gibson even more. 

My boy Revan was getting up to it too. Thunderstrike did his best, but I mean Revan the dude who seen it all and has done it all so it was no surprise when he was struck down. Tarrlok and Katara were doing that Blood bending on Starkiller and John Stewart. They made Starkiller stab John Stewart with his lightsabers, but this enraged him into a manic state. With all his power he overcame the hold the two benders had over him and cut them down.

All that was left was Mel Gibson vs Revan, Punisher, and Starkiller. This would be no easy feat for the Underhills as Gibson is notoriously a slippery bastard. Chasing him through the school they almost had him at many points and eventually there was little holding the walls up. The Punisher tackled him through a corner and the whole building came crashing down. Revan and Starkiller were able to use the force to protect themselves, but Gibson and the Punisher were crushed under the debris. 

They lifted the debris over their teammate to find that he was hurt, but alive. They both put him on one shoulder and the three of them walked out of there as the rest of the building fell.

FFL 2023 Week 8: Trash Pandas vs. The Gentlemen

 Trash Pandas: Gandalf the White, The Bad Batch: Hunter, Wrecker, Tech, Crosshair, Echo, & Omega, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Pakku, Peregrin Took, & Asguardian #5.

The Gentlemen: Magneto w/ Red Lantern Ring, Sabertooth, Harry Potter, General Kenobi, & Dracula w/ Power Ring

This match starts out with the Trash Pandas set up shop in the Gymnasium, while The Gentlemen are covertly working their ways through the halls looking for their opponents. The Trash Pandas are setting up their defenses, the Bad Batch get into position by having crosshair in the stands set up as a sniper while Tech is set up at the bottom of the stands behind a couple of tables flipped on their sides with a bag full of grenades to help with defense. Pippin is instructed by Gandlaf to stay in the back with Tech behind cover so he can’t interfere with the battle.Tech tells Pippin to not touch the bag of grenades at ALL. 

For The Gentlemen, Sabertooth is instructed by General Kenobi to use his sense of smell to track the Trash Pandas. They follow Sabertooth until they get to the doors of the Gymnasium. Kenobi instructs the team to split up into 4 groups to push through the 4 different doorways into the gymnasium. Before they go through the doors, Kenobi instructs Magneto to make a distraction using his mutant powers. Magneto uses his powers to have the ceiling of the gymnasium collapse. Once the ceiling collapses, the Gentlemen all enter through the 4 doors and they just started blasting (Frank Reynolds style). The collapsing of the ceiling kills both Omega and Asguardian #5 as they both had I-Beams fall on them.

Harry Potter uses his wand to disarm Wrecker and Echo of their blasters, Magneto rips the rims off of the basketball hoops and uses them as projectiles, launching them at the Trash Pandas. Pakku builds an ice wall to protect the Trash Pandas from the Basketball rims. Magneto immediately retaliates by hitting Pakku with a blast of his Red Lantern Ring, immediately killing him. Sabertooth charges the disarmed Echo and Wrecker, Sabertooth slashes across the face of Echo with his claws. This causes Echo’s helmet to come off and he has three slashes across his face, one wrecking one of his eyes. Wrecker punches Sabertooth in the back, but this only enrages Sabertooth, he picks up Wrecker and throws him across the gym into a wall. Black Widow goes to retaliate against Saber Tooth but before she can use the tasers on her wrists, Harry Potter disarms her with her wand and Sabertooth picks her up and drops her on his knee (like Bane did to Batman in Dark Knight Rises), this snaps Black Widows spine and kills her. Tech throws a volley of grenades at Sabertooth and kills her. The grenades also kill his severely damaged platoon mate Echo. 

While this was going on, Pippin does what he always does, not listening to what he’s told. He looks at the bag of grenades and just can not, not look at the bag and mess with the grenades. After a few seconds of messing around with the bag he accidentally sets off one of the grenades causing all of the grenades to explode. This kills Pippin and Tech, this also causes the stands that Crosshair was set up to fall apart. Crosshair falls with the stands and lands on his neck, breaking his neck and killing him. While this is going on, Hunter grabs a piece of wood from the explosion and sneaks up on Dracula and stabs him in the chest, killing the vampire.

Hawkeye, Hunter and Wrecker run up to General Kenobi and try to beat the jedi using numbers. Kenobi holds himself up well against the three Trash Pandas due to his lightsaber fighting style #3. Though Kenobi is getting tired defending from separate enemies. Harry Potter disarms Hawkeye of his Bow and arrow so Kenobi uses the force to pull Hawkeye towards him and then stabs him in the chest with his lightsaber. With just two Trash Pandas against Kenobi, they can’t defeat Kenobi. Kenobi eventually kills them both. 

Harry Potter runs up to Gandalf the White and challenges him to a good ole fashioned wizard duel. It is quick though as Gandalf is BY FAR the superior wizard to Harry Potter. He calls down a lightning strike onto Harry Potter and kills him with ease.

After all this battling, the players left are just Gandalf the White on the Trash Pandas and Kenobi and Magneto on the Gentlemen.

Magneto starts it off by grabbing multiple I-Beams and trying to wrap Gandlaf up in what appears to be an I-Beam straight jacket. Magneto is unsuccessful though as Gandalf creates a force field to deflect the I-Beams. Kenobi runs up to Gandlaf’s force field and stabs through it with his lightsaber causing Gandalf to momentarily lose focus and bring his field down. 

Magneto begins launching volleys of various pieces of metal at Gandalf and Kenobi is attacking with multiple strikes of his lightsaber. Gandalf is dodging every attack but is getting visibly tired. He shoots a blast of fire at magneto engulfing the Mutant in flames and killing him but Kenobi then immediately stabs Gandalf in the chest with his lightsaber. 

Out of respect for Gandalf, Kenobi helps Gandalf lay on the ground gently and they give each other a nod of respect as they are both respect attitude in life of trying to be good men.

David Byrne's Meat Suits Vs. The Sigmas

 David Byrne's Meat Suits are Galactus and his Herald David Byrne, Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver, and Atrocitus.

The Sigmas are Ki Adi Mundi, Qui Gon Jinn, Duncan Idaho (w/ a green lightsaber), Jordan Peterson (w/ a fire flower), Bene Gesserit #1-7, Gollum, Mon-Starr, Pit, and Satoru Gojo.  

I'm heading down to Southpark gonna have myself a time.  

 Hey, what up eff eff ellers, it's your boy The Neon Master Pogo.  Ol' Joshatu the Mega-Boomer finally dusted me off and is letting me Watch a match this season, so you already know it's gonna be a banger.  Here we go.......

Southpark Elementary is an absolute disaster.  Bullet holes, dead bodies, crying bystanders, and first responders are everywhere.  Not from The Fantasy Fantasy match of course, that hasn't even happened yet.  It is just because Southpark is the latest scene from our most recent school shooting.  It's no big deal, it happens all the time, it is just really annoying because I am trying to get set up to Watch a match here and all these people are in the way.  Per usual, the first people to show up on the scene was the media, then some sad and angry crisis actors, err....  I mean upset parents got there, followed by The FBI and a few other agencies that wished to remain unnamed, and then last and also least the local police, once they were sure it was safe.  Shortly after the police arrived two factions, one from each side of the American Political Duopoly showed up to begin their politicking.  The Left Wing always does a better job of scooping the story, leaving the Right Wing to play the victim once The Left starts talking about banning and taxing stuff that people who aren't beta cucks actually like.  In this particular case The Left has truly outdone themselves.  Deciding to bench the typical talking heads like Rachel Maddow and that pasty Keith guy that used to be on ESPN, a true Talking Head descends from the sky next to his big purple partner Galactus.  The Omnipotent Planet eater and his disembodied giant floating head Herald David Byrne make quite an entrance with musical interludes being played in-between calls for more gun control, mixed in with the usual banter about voter suppression and racial justice from a true American with a Scottish Accent.  They are also followed by a scantily clad Baddie who looks likes the Olsen twins if they hadn't forgotten about eating sixteen years ago and her special needs brother Quicksilver who is super fast.  I mean not like Flash fast or anything; but definitely quick.  I'm pretty sure his name is derived from being kinda quick; but still only getting silver in the special olympics, because Flash joined that year and decided to identify as a R-Tard and take the gold.  Last but not least, they are joined by Atrocitus.  This guy don't even mess around.  He was hand-picked by the Left Wing to persuade the people with his big red tough guy look in hopes to show that not all Liberals are whiny sissies.  It isn't working.  David Byrne and his Meat Suits enjoy a few minutes of Left Wing Media Control just like the good old days; before The Sigmas show up representing the Right Wing controlled media so the sheep watching at home can really get riled up over this fake, made-up tragedy.  I of course am calling this a fake made up tragedy because this is just a fictional FFL match.  I am certainly not suggesting that the rampant number of school shootings constantly appearing in the news are in any way fake or contrived and they definitely are not in any way planned by the government through mind control or any other means.  I mean.........  Nobody........  I mean......  Nobody.......  Would be crazy enough to think that.........  Right??........................................  Umm.  Anyways:  The Sigmas role out with the normal Fox News/Blaze crew.  Led by Jordan Peterson himself, they have a bunch of Religious zealots:  A couple of dudes with their ceremonial lightsabers at their hip and a bunch of ladies wearing long black robes.  They got a distinguished military veteran named Duncan Idaho (sounds like a dumb D & D character's name if you ask me).  But anyway, he has a distinguished military record, but is also carrying around one of those lightsabers.  Prolly just to show the flag waivers that he found the Force or something after he got sick of killing brown people and left the military.  I see they brought a little kid with a bow and arrow along to showcase how important it is to hunt with your kids not for them as well as a hunchback midget who keeps coughing his name and an Oriental dude named after that orange stuff mechanics use for hand-washing to show that the Republicans aren't just a party for The Whites and to remind us that people born in the Orient are way smarter than the rest of us.  Last but not least they have this guy named Mon-Starr.  This guy don't mess around.  He was hand-picked by The Right Wing to to persuade the people with his big, red tough guy look in hopes to show that not all Conservatives are whiny sissies.  It isn't working.  

        

The two factions of the Uniparty stay on their own side of the caution tape for a time, just sticking to their normal talking points and riling up their base; but eventually the tension becomes too much.  One last chant of "IT'S THE GUNS" and "MENTAL ILLNESS" ring out simultaneously, the caution tape snaps, and low and behold it is on like Donkey Kong.  And believe you me, when I tell you that this riot is a riot.  This ain't anything like the candle light vigils and time for togetherness moments we used to have after tragedies when I was coming up pre-911, this is a straight up Post-Covid-mOtSlY-pEaCeFuL-pent-up-lockdown-entitled-white-chick-public-school-Karen-vax-tard-wtf-happened to everyone's brain type of hysteria that only 2023 can produce.  

With the help of the seven Bene Gesserit Witches chanting and using their weirding ways with prana-bindu perfection, Satoro-Gojo teleports them all, along with Galactus to another realm where they throw down for the next century joining each other in death.  

Atrocitus squares up Mon-Starr which I am thinking is going to be one Heck of a Throw down; but I can't help but think about how much these two characters look alike.  I mean.....  Has anyone ever put two and two together and pointed this out??  Did the big, bad DC Comic Label really need to rip off The Silverhawks??  Could it be??  Just a coincidence you say??  You mean to say that Geoff Johns wasn't  influenced by the cartoons all of us Gen-Xers watched in the 80s and is still obsessing over them as a middle-aged man.....??......  I mean, he would be the only one who isn't but maybe.  Needless to say, I digress from this amazing fight that was about to go down when the two of them pull back their punches and realize that they are in fact long lost brothers from space.  Separated at birth when their parents split up when they were only toddlers, after not being able to get along over being of opposite political parties.  Fighting over 1980s politics such as Non-Smoking sections at Family restaurants, the death penalty, and whether or not "Parental Guidance Explicit Lyrics" stickers should be on all cassette tapes, or just most of them.  The two Satanic looking red monsters reach out for a hand-shake, but then bring it in for the whole thing as it turns into a full double-armed bro-hug.  They harken back to a time when people of different political views had the cognitive capacity to realize that both of their extremely biased and retarded views could simply be held as opinions, not beliefs which define who you really are.  It was a true Ronald Reagan/"Just the" Tip O' Neil kind of moment.  Like a vintage episode of Cheers; but not funny.  They decide to end this in-fighting and walk back to their two teams together as ambassadors for peace.  But the FBI Agents I mentioned earlier caught wind of this and realized how close proximity the media was.  They naturally assassinated both Atrocitus and Mon-Starr before this dangerous revelation could be made public to the mouth-breathers.  

After more FBI gun shots fill the air, the crowds all erupt into to one massive mob and all chaos ensues.  The News will refer to this chaos as "anarchy", ignoring the irony that anarchy is not the cause of chaos.  Mindless sheep controlled by big government handle that just fine.  It's like Protesters Gone Wild, without Snoop Dogg or boobs.  While the Baptists list off the people who are going to Hell (spoiler alert:  It's everyone), The Pro-Choicers burn effigies of young Moms who aren't skanks and can actually cook, Michael Moore and every chick from your College Sociology Class are screaming about how American guns made them fat, and the Q-Anon crew is busy yelling Save the Children while they hide Pit from the classic game Kid Icarus in a box labeled TRUMP 20EVER.  

Quicksilver rushes into action, running by Gollum at breakneck speed who is pushed into the crowd by the sheer velocity of the son of Magneto's foot work.  The former ring bearer gets it from both sides as he is ripped apart by both the Republicans who assume he is an immigrant and the Democrats who assume he is a fetus.  

The disembodied floating "Talking Head" of David Byrne grabs up Jordan Peterson in his mouth and carries him off to what Jordan assumes will be his death.  Truth is they were late for a joint appearance on a very trendy local podcast.  In-between shilling their new books, records, concerts, and appearances, the two of them both turned down a rolling rock and declined hitting a vape pen that totally didn't have weed in it.  They got along famously because let's face it.....  As much as I am making fun of them and the whole process because they are both goofballs sometimes, Byrne is a brilliant song writer and all around cool guy, and Peterson is usually right and pretty based most of the time.  I would totally watch this podcast and laugh as they became friends on air.  Especially if it pissed off partisans on either side.  

This just leaves us with a really pitched battle taking place in The Southpark Elementary Cafeteria between The Romanov twins Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver Versus Master Mundi and Jinn, along with Duncan Idaho.  I guess I am going to have to stop making jokes and veiled snarky political references and decide who should win this match.  I mean......  Out of Character:  Despite my not even close to serious demeanor here, these were both actually really good teams this week.  

Whilst Pit is suffocating to death in the box they forgot him in on the back axle of The Trump Unity Bridge, Qui Gon is catching the silvery quick Quicksilver with a lightsaber to the throat as Scarlet Witch is blowing up both parts of Ki Adi's binary Cerean brain.  Scarlet Witch turns to see her brother killed and flips out like someone told her she needed to cut her spending and caloric intake at Starbucks if she is going to find a good man someday.  Scarlet Witch screams:  "NO MORE SWORDSMEN" as Qui Gonn and Duncan Idaho disappear from reality; but Idaho's lightning fast reflexes get in one more quick move as he throws his Atreides dagger.  The blade leaving his hand just before he vanishes catches Wanda in the neck as she falls dead upon the body of her twin brother.  

This leaves us with only Byrne and Peterson who are told by The Podcast Host that there is breaking news.  The News of course being that they are the only two combatants left remaining and that the match would have to be settled right here on the show.  Jordan and David nod at one another and begin a philosophical debate to the death.  This lasts for hours and gets so many views that the video goes viral, despite the fact that although it got millions of clicks only six people actually watched past the first nine minutes.  They deeply discuss every possible issue and gain such a respect for one another that they eventually decide that maybe Jordan Peterson should go back to being a college professor and that David Byrne really should get back together with The Talking Heads after all these years, as long as they would do it together side by side.  Then it occurred to me that this match is really long and that in this particular incarnation of these characters that David Byrne is a Herald of Galactus and has Hella-Wicked Cosmic powers.  So he zapped him or something.  IDK.

THE END. 

Week 8 Staff Consortium: Washington Redskins vs Sigmaz

Washington Redskins: Yoda (w/ dwarf Ring #4) & Chian, Professor Xavier, Mandalore the Great (w/ The Dark saber) , Wolverine, Chuck Norris (w/ the Houslander family katana, and Wicket W. Warrick

Sigmaz: Kratos, Atreus, and Fenrir, The TMNT: Leonardo w/ Glock, Donatello w/ Glock, Michelangelo w/ Glock, and Raphael w/ Glock Ronald Mcdonald, Grimmace, Hamburgler, Officer Big Mac, Mayor McCheese, Birdie the Early Bird, Captain Crook, The Professor, and Fry Kid #1-5, The Shredder, Tokka and Razhar, and Triceratops #3-4

Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Dolla 49 McRib

 Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips are Eric Cartmen (in a Hulk Buster Iron Suit), Kyle Brovlowski, Stan Marsh, Kenny McCormick, Darkseid, Granny Goodness w/ The Female Furies:  Bloody Mary, Stompa, Lashina, & Mad Harriet, and Superboy.

Dolla 49 McRib is Hades, The Technibots:  Scattershot, Lightspeed, Afterburner, Strafe, and Nosecone, The Expendables:  Barney Ross, Lee Christmas, Galgo, Yin Yang, Gunner Jensen, Doctor Death, Toll Road & John Smillee, and Runabout & Runamuck.

Week 8 Democracy: Doctor's Madhouse vs NAZA

Doctors Madhouse are Darth Vader, Invincible (Mark Grayson), Atom Eve, Dupli-Kate, Robot, Rex Splode, Allen the Alien, Hancock, Frank “Wendeezys” Metivier w/ Endless Zyn and Variety Pack of Four Lokos, Kryptonian #1-3, Predator #1-10, Yellow Lantern #3

NAZA are The Doom Patrol: Mento, Negative Man, Elastic-Girl, Robot Man, and Changeling, Suicide Squad: Amanda Waller, Harley Quinn, Killer Frost, King Shark, Alan Scott, and Bloodsport, The Fantastic Four: Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Woman, The Thing, and Human Torch, Stark Android #1-5

Sigmaz vs. Trash Pandas

 Sigmaz: Eren Yeager, 10 domestic terrorists, T3, The Shredder, Tokka and Razhar, Master Chief, Simon Belmont, Jigglypuff, The Joker, Azula Tai Lee, Mai, Kratos, Atreus, Fenrir, Goblin w/ AR15, 6 more goblins

Trash Pandas: Zaheer, Ghazan, P'Li, Ming-Hua, John Wick w/Dead Dog, Trinity, Vision, Pakku, Naruto, Amon, T-1000, Lucius Malfoy, Autobots 1-4

It was a dark cold night at Hogwarts.  Without the leader ship of Malcom X the Sigmaz have taken shelter in the Hogwarts school.  They are being led by Shredder who is nothing compared to the great Malcom X. 

The Sigmaz sent out the Domestic terrorists into the forbidden forest as scouts along with Eren Yeager, Tokka and Razhar.  Upon searching the forest they come upon someone.  It's a man in a suit holding a dead dog.

"Did you do this" says Mr. Wick

"Rada rada rada" says the domestic terrorists as we have no clue what they are saying in their language.

John Wick starts an onslaught of the terrorists.  It is something they have never seen before.  Their ak47 training was not enough for the assassin.  John Wick wiped out all of the terrorists.

Eren Yeager with ODM gear makes move at John Wick which he evades.  He begins to run deeper into the forbidden forest.  He can't make it far with Yeager having ODM gear, but he just needs to make it a little further.  John Wick is finally hit.  Yeager got him in the back and was ready to execute him.  That is until he realizes its a trap and he was lead to the rest of the Trash Pandas.

Yeager quickly transforms into a titan because that is his only chance to make it out alive.  While doing so he crushes the body of John Wick.  The noise of Eren turning into a titan causes Tokka and Razhar to come to his aid.

Eren quickly destroys the autobots of the Trash Pandas rendering them useless in battle.  The airbenders of the Trash Pandas quickly take to the defense.

"Shadow Clone Jitsu" yells out Naruto

Over 50 shadow clones quickly appear.  Eren is confused on who the real Naruto is.  The attacks are coming quick and Eren has to take the defense.  Naruto knows how to take the titan down.  The real Naruto waits for his chance and uses his Kunai to slice open the nape of the Titan.  What Eren didn't realize is Naruto upon cutting the nape left an explosive tag which then explodes killing the Giant titan.

The airbenders made quick work of Tokka and Razhar.

"Forward to the school" screams Naruto

Arriving at the school. Azula, Tai Lee, and Mai are guarding the entrance.

Zaheer says "you guys go on ahead, we can take on the benders"

Zaheer and the other air benders stay back to duke it with the og air benders.  The legend of Korra squad comes out on top but only Zaheer surviving.

Trinity and Vision destroy the lonely Jigglypuff with no remorse.  This pissed off Kratos who went berzerk taking the heads of both Trinity and Vision with his blades of Chaos.

Lucius Malfoy is met by some goblins who stood no chance against someone on their home turf.  The wizard was ruthless and began casting forbidden spells leaving nothing but a pile of dust from the goblins.  Simon Belmont and Master Chief try to counter attack but the wizard is to powerful for them.  Malfoy began to torture the two in order to find the rest of the Sigmaz but the two would not give up their comrades.  

All while this is happening we got a terminator fight going down.  T3 and T100 begin to box it out.  Trading blows.  The advanced technology showing its power.  Once again T3 gets the upper hand on t1000 just like in terminator 2.  Just like the movie though the damage had been done to t3 and he falls over and dies.

This leaves Kratos, Atreus and Fenrir to fend off Naruto.  Naruto and his shaddow clones continue to confuse the enemy but that's all it could do.  They were able to fend them all off leaving just the real Naruto.  He quickly makes a few more shadow clones to pull off the Rasenshuriken.  This kills Atreus and Fenrir.  Leaving a furious Kratos.  Kratos quickly jumps to Naruto.  They begin to fight.  Kratos and his anger begin to take the upper hand as Naruto is gassed from the work he already put in.  

Kratos about to end Naruto's life is blinded by anger and doesn't realize who just walked in.

"Avada Kedavara" says Malfoy.

Kratos is killed by the dark killing curse.

The Joker and Shredder are seen trying to escape.

"Imperio" yells Malfoy

Under the curse Malfoy makes the two fight to the death with Shredder coming out victorious.  He then makes the leader jump off the top of hogwarts to his death.

Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. TEAM

 Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips are The Flash, Sarumon the White, Hermione Granger, Agent Smith (w/ 2 white lightsabers), He-Man and Battle Cat, Ron Weasaly on a Quidditch Broom, Miss Martian, Wonder Girl, Arsenal, & Black Widows #3-5.

TEAM is Alex Houslander, Laya Houslander, Scarlet Houslander, Grayson Houslander, Thanos, Maw, Mace Windu, Thor, Thunderstrike, The Mandalorian, Grogu, The Oracle, and Seraph w/ The Magic School Bus.  

 Many an epic match have begun with the title of The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. TEAM.  The true O.G. rivalry of The Fantasy Fantasy League.  Michigan Vs. Ohio State, Yankees Vs. The Red Sox, Lakers Vs. Celtics, Horsemen Vs. TEAM.  Reboots do nothing to change a perfect mix of hatred and respect that exists deep within true rivalries.  

On the way to Hogwarts, the young Alex Houslander speaks to his TEAMmates.  Very interested in the history between these two great franchises.  Conversations abound inside the Magic School as they approach Hogwarts, Alex works as a great hype man for the TEAM with many chants of "LET'S GO" and "YOU ALREADY KNOW", complete with chest thumping and mean tweets about The Horsemen being "straight up trash".  Thanos stands up and exclaims that no matter what happens:  "Darkseid IS MINE", followed by Thor reminding his TEAMmates that his hammer and Supergirl have "unfinished business".  No one questions the Mad Titan or The god of Thunder as they get closer to the school that will soon be a battlefield.  The drive is short, but the memories of those on TEAM are long.  This match shall be one for the annals of The Fantasy Fantasy League.

As The Magic School Bus whimsically rolls into Hogwarts, the Horsemen waste no time defending their school.  The TEAMmembers come rolling out of the bus with military precision in an attempt to get inside the school as quickly as possible as they had planned; but Miss Martian, Wonder Girl, and Arsenal are there to battle with the Bus itself as soon as they arrive.  Everyone on TEAM exits the bus except for Laya and her two youngest siblings.  They were supposed to lend back up from the magic bus itself once the TEAM made it inside; but that plan is ruined right away as the Martian, the marksmen, and the amazon who methodically dodge the attacks of the bus and break it apart piece by piece in a time consuming but well executed attack.  

As the TEAMmembers get inside, The Oracle feels the presence of the one meant to destroy the Matrix, before Agent Smith leaps out of a painting on the wall and attacks.  The Oracle takes cover; but perfectly throws a random spell book off of the ground at Smith knocking one of his white lightsabers out of his hands.  Seraph picks it up and an amazing and well-pitched lightsaber battle ensues between Smith and Seraph.  The fight appears choreographed in its perfection; but as referenced in Matrix lore Agent Smith is ratioed by Seraph who has beat him before.  The protector of that which is most important sends a lightsaber through the throat of the lead Agent.  

The Mandalorian finds himself surrounded by the three black widows, and it is looking like he may be in trouble until Grogu gives a force push towards the three chicks to distract them.  This gives Din the opportunity to use his whistling birds weapon and take out all three assassins at once.  

He-Man is off of Battle Cat and going toe to toe with Thunderstrike.  The man of midgard raises his hammer and calls upon the power of Thor and Odin blowing a hole through the floor and knocking He-Man into it.  The power of Thor rushes through Thunderstrike's whole body; but He-Man is a master of the universe and "HAS THE POWER" as well.   He-Man leaps out of the crevice with the Sword of Power drawn and knocks the human embodiment of Marvel's Thor to the ground with his shield.  He-Man then plunges the sword of Grey Skull into the chest of Thunderstrike.  

Master Mace Windu stumbles into an eery looking classroom to find two young students practicing spells and deep in their studies.  Mace is not at all threatened at first but that quickly changes as Ron and Hermione leap into action.  Mace is powerful; but taken off guard by the spells of the teenagers and does not quite know how to combat them.  He deflects or dodges 90% of the attacks but it is not enough.  With some carefully timed uses of Expelliarmus as well as Petrificus Totalus Master Windu eventually falls to the two young wizards.  

Sarumon the White fights through the telekinetic attacks of Maw and blasts some wicked white light into the face of the cosmic space thug, blowing his head clean off; but this sets off Thanos' rage as he avenges his psuedo-son by ripping Sarumon in two.  

The reason He-Man was without Battle Cat in his battle against Thunderstrike was that the big mean cat was being petted by Laya and her fellow cat whisperer siblings Scarlet and Grayson.  Although they all stop for a moment as Laya tries to get Barry Allen's autograph as he is zooming by.  This does not turn out well as the trio along with their new pet all become trapped in the speed force.

Alex TEAMs up with Mando against two DC bros Arsenal and The Flash.  Mando loses his gun when Arsenal hits it out of his armored hand with a perfectly placed arrow.  The two begin battling hand to hand when The Flash rushes in and sends a flurry of DC's second hardest punches into Mando breaking through his beskar armor and destroying his organs, during the commotion, Alex is able to roll onto the ground, grab Mando's dropped pistol and put a few laser blasts into the chest of Arsenal.  

Thanos is still pissed that he doesn't get to try out his skills against Darkseid who is evidently still at home at Horsemen headquarters riding the bench.  So instead, having done his DC research goes after Wonder Woman.  Obsessed, with taking out one of DC's finest, Thanos doesn't realize that he isn't snapping the neck of Wonder Woman, but her sidekick Wonder Girl instead.  

He-Man brushes the beautiful golden blonde hair away from his face and sees the god of Thunder out of the corner of his eye.  Planning to duplicate his feat from earlier, He-Man rushes in with the same battle plan he used against Thunderstrike.  The Prince of Eternia does not fair quite as well against the true son of Odin though and is over-powered by his bursts of lightning and finished off by a smack to the top of the head by the hammer of Thor.  

Ron is casting spells and flying around on his broom, driving Seraph crazy, when The Oracle protector leaps off of a moving staircase and drop kicks the kid off of the broom, knocking him to the ground.  Winded from the fall Seraph finishes the deed on Ron as he pummels him.  But alas, Seraph may have accomplished this task but he has failed in his prime objective as he notices that as he is finishing his fight that Hermione has blasted the Oracle down into the dungeon depths of Hogwarts, wiping her program from existence.  

Grogu decides to get serious about being a Jedi Mandalorian like he does in every third episode or so and definitely every season finale.  He does a cute face and then does a mean face, then does another cute face while raising up his right hand to do something powerful; but Miss Martian is already caught up on all her Disney Plus shows and knows the gimmick.  She picks up Grogu and smashes him into green goo.  

The rest of The Horsemen and the rest of TEAM meet up in the cafeteria for their final showdown.  Thanos stands center stage ready to take all comers and it is he that The Horsemen move towards first.  They know that they must stick together and combine their powers if they are going to eliminate The Mad Titan from this equation.  The Flash, Hermione, and Miss Martian move in to triple team Thanos and the epic battle begins.  Hermione takes point and leads the charge; but the rest of TEAM move in to help Thanos.  A barrage of speedy punches do a number on Thanos; but Thor sends a potent blast of lightning into the speed force blasting The Flash to bits.  Barry makes sure that the explosion that gets him is directed towards Thanos as well, who then redirects that power into a cosmic blast that shatters Hermione's wand as well as her spine.  Miss Martian in a last ditch effort tries to embody her own character and go full evil white person revealing her true white devil persona; but her mean white head is knocked clean off by the hammer of Thor.  

Thanos lay dying, while Alex Houslander approaches Thor and asks:  "Wow, Thor.  Nice shot.  Do you think we have a chance to make the play-offs still"??

"Aye" Thor begins to reply; but Seraph chimes in instead:

"It matters not.  Our season just became a success".

Week 7 - Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: Doctor's Madhouse vs Dolla 49 McRib

Doctor’s Madhouse: Albus Dumbledore, Lord Voldemort, Draco Malfoy, Darth Vader, Batman, Robin, Alfred w/ Yellow Double Lightsaber, Nightwing, Batgirl, Catwoman, Kid Flash, Yellow Lantern #3, Clone Trooper #1-10

Dolla 49 McRib: King pin, Proffesor McGonagall, Spectre, Sentry, Navy Seals #1-10, 10 Mandalorians, Darth Malak, Dr Strange, Atreides Soldier #1-10, Harkonnen Soldiers #1-10, Deadmen of Dunharrow #1-10, Terminator #1-5

Albus Dumbledore and the rest of the Doctor’s Madhouse are already set up shop in Hogwarts. Dumbledore, Batman, and Darth Vader are having a spirited conversation in the Great Hall about abortion over a delicious meal. 

Every few seconds there’s a “fuck them kids” from Vader whilst Batman wants to adopt every potential aborted fetus to create an assassin army so he can retire; and Dumbledore, a known boomer crazed diddler, is strongly against abortion as he wants as many opportunities and openings as possible.

Draco is immediately questioning the crowd he’s accompanied with as he hears every bit of their loud drunken chatter outside the Great Hall’s doors. 

Kid Flash is zooming through the castle at blazing speeds checking for any members of Dollar 49 McRib as Knightwing, Batgirl, and Robin swing down the staircases throughout the school doing the same. 

Voldemort, furious that he has to follow the orders of Dumbledore, is patrolling the outside castle walls with the remaining commons of the madhouse awaiting an attack from Dolla 49 McRib any minute now.

Dolla 49 McRib enters the scene and drops down in the Forbidden Forest from a sling ring courtesy of Dr. Strange. They silently cruise through the trees as they wipe the BBQ sauce off their face from their McDonald’s catering party in the locker room; which they quickly realized was not the best pre game meal. 

King Pin was suffering so bad that he lost the will to walk from pure obesity and attempted to scream “Business is Boomin” as the McRibs left him behind in the forest while he slowly died from the worst food coma known to man, and they begun their journey. 

Navy Seal #10 wanted all the smoke when he challenged Navy Seal #1 to a swimming contest with the remaining Seals standing by as audience and were to not join the battle; but were seen swimming the surrounding waters of Hogwarts throughout the skirmish. Little did they know they would become the dinner of a gang of Symphonic Amphibians camping there. 

The Spectre flies high above the trees to scout and immediately sees that Yellow Lantern #3 and the Clone Troopers of Dr’s Madhouse are taking the initiative. 

Yellow Lantern #3’s Lantern Ring glows like a star as it sees the Dead Men of Dunharrow and feels the fear they endure. He consumes the souls of the 10 Dead Man and looks for more, as bloodlusted as can be. He then makes quick work of all 10 Atreides Soldiers before The Spectre says no more and turns his ring to dust, making the common fall to his death; the Clone Troopers quickly follow his lead when the Spectre turns them into leaves that gently fall to the ground as Dolla 49 proceeds through the forest. 

Proffesor McGonagall leads the way on the ground and is frightened by the sight of Voldemort but proceeds as they have him severely out numbered. The McRib’s technique and speed helped them get past Voldy fairly easily with only losing the lives of all 5 Terminators and and the Mandalorians whose armor was attracted to the fierce lightning of Voldemort’s wand leading them to death. 

They barge into Hogwarts with no regard to how prepared their Combatants were as McGonogall catches a punch coming in at 700 MPH from Kid Flash launching her 50 feet out the door. Kid Flash then makes quick work of all 10 Harkonnen Soldiers and sends Dr. Strange into a frenzy before Strange teleports him over top of Darth Malak who ignites his lightsaber through his heart. 

Knightwing, Robin, and Batgirl prounce onto the scene and look to get to work but are outmatched by Dr. Strange’s Sorcery and Sentry’s raw strength leaving them bloodied as they make their way through the South Wing and up the grand staircase.

Catwoman’s dumbass has been doing Makeup through the Library Annex mirrors this entire time and kills herself because she comes to the realization that her hobby is reliant on the worst possible house pet in the world and that she is the inferior gender thus having no reason to continue with her useless pathetic life.

Darth Vader feels a disturbance in the force and him and Batman are delighted to see some action when they rush out of the great halls and see the remaining McRib’s scrambling. They’re 7 butter bears in but they are absolutely ready to cook some fools. 

Batman sees the knock off Superman in Sentry and starts cackling before sending a Radion Bullet through his cranium leaving his brains splattered across his mortified teammates. 

Vader tosses his lightsaber aside and uses both his hand to pick up Darth Malak and rip him in half with the force to let em know he HIM and it ain’t close. 

Dr. Strange tries his best but is quickly overwhelmed by Vader and Batman’s sluggish and drunken yet lethal and experienced combat.

The Spectre, watching this whole battle play out and deciding not to intervene, becomes translucent and makes his way towards Dumbledore in the Great Hall. As Albus is having his stache patted dry by Alfred he’s startled by Spectre’s sudden appearance out of thin air. 

The Spectre slowly walks toward Dumbledore and Alfred and retorts. “One way or another, I’m getting this W. For I am god. “

Dumbledore gets up, stumbling. “You don’t get it. I built this place. Down here I make the rules. Down here I make the threats. Down here… I’M GOD.”

Draco, Vader, and Batman come rushing in as they hear Dumbledore cast “Avada Kadavra”.

Even The Spectre couldn’t have predicted this use of dark magic, as he vanished immediately in disbelief.

Albus stood there disappointed in himself, but knew it’s what had to be done. 

They rip celebratory darts and talk about Zach’s dummy thicc dumpy until sun rise.

Week 7 Staff Consortium: League of Heterosexual Gentlemen vs David Byrne's Meat Suits

Heteros: Harry Potter, Bellatrix Lestrange, Professor Mogonagal, Dracula w/power ring, General Kenobi, Sabertooth, Avatar Aang, Hordack, Gannon

Meat Suits: Kosa-Yin Hadu, Nazgul #6 on his Fell Beast, Shao Khan, Unalaq, Desna, and Eska, Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde, Sagat, Denethor, Uruk-Hai #1-10, Stormtroopers #1-5, Rocky Balboa, Pee-Wee Herman, Robert Oswald, Bill and Hillary Clinton, Abe Lincoln, Pope Emeritus Benedict in a suit of Armor, Magwai #1-10, Big Bird and Snuffalufagus, Sandy of Sandy's, The Creeper, Serena and Manion Butler, Benedict Arnold, Gary Habkirk, Airbenders #1-4, Dr. Robert Neville and his dog, John Conner, Axel Foley

The Underhills Vs. The National Alcohol and Zyn Administration

 The Underhills are Prof. Snape, Blue Wizard #1-2, Radaghast the Brown, Arwen Evenstar, The Punisher, Microchip, Raven, Iroh, The Terminator (2), Spider-Man, Green Lantern #1-5, Blue Lantern #1-2, & Jedi Guardian #1-7.

NAZA is The Balrog of Moria, Haggrid, Monkey D. Luffy, Vegeta, Boba Fett, The Sith Triumverate: Darth Traya, Darth Nihilus, & Darth Sion, Omniman, Riggs (w/ a DL-44 Heavy Blaster) & Murtaugh (w/ a Racoon Leaf), Wizard #1-5, & Velociraptor #1-4.

Democracy Week 7: Sigmas vs The Washington Redskins

Sigmas are Han and Chewbacca, Witch King of Angmar on his Mordor Horse, Ki Adi Mundi, Deadshot, Gurney Halleck, Mystique, Morpheus, Chani, Satoro Gojo, The Fury, Jordan Peterson w/ Fire Flower, bene Gesserit

Washington Redskins are Yoda and Chian, Proffesor Xavier, Wolverine, Sinestro w/ White Lantern Ring, Jedi Master #1-10, Jedi Padawan #1-10, Jedi Youngling #1-12, Yaddle w/ Dwarf Ring #7, Chuck Norris w/ The Houslander Family Katana, Dobby, The Ghostbuster: Peter Venkman, Dr. Ray Stanz, Dr. Egon Spengler, and Winston Zeddimore, James Madison, John Adams, Usagi Yojimbo and Jotaro

S14 W6: Sigmas vs TLoEHSG

Sigmas are: The entire following team on an aircraft carrier: Ki Adi Mundi, Qui Gon Jinn, Sardakaur #1-20, Satoro Gojo, Gigachad, Iron Hide, Jhin, Tree Sentinel #1-10, The Fear, The Sorrow, The Pain, The Fury, The End, Griffith, Mouser #1-20, SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Starr, and Gary, Mon-Starr, Mario, Luigi, Waluigi, Muckman and Joe Eyeball, Ramjet, Dirge, and Bene Gesserit #9 & 10 and Ice Man and Slider in a F-14

The League of Extraordinary Heterosexual Gentlemen are: Avatar Aang w/ Star Saphire, Ahsoka Tano, General Kenobi, Martian Manhunter, Superman, Magneto, 21 degens and 2 orc in the 1000 Sunny, Ultron, Van Helsing, Homelander, John Wilks Booth, Robert E Lee

The Sigmas were lost at sea. For two reasons, 1) they never sent in a team so this rag tag crew got thrown together and had no directions. and 2) because they decided the best captain to helm the large aircraft carrier was a sponge.

The sea waves thrashed the giant ship on a planet that is in a constant state of unrelenting storms. The team was exhausted and sick and the battle had yet to even start. Ice Man finally agreed to do a scouting run in the F-14 and they were able to see the lights of Tapoca City up ahead. 

Inside the cloning facility, The Heteros were warm and rested waiting for their opponents to arrive. It had been days but they were happy and being treated very well by the Kaminoans. Suddenly a degen riding an orc came charging in to tell team that the Sigmas had finally arrived. They were wet and soaking because the rest of the team made them stay outside in the 1000 sunny on lookout because they didn’t want to deal with any of their bullshit. 

Ahsoka Tano and General Kenobi charged forward, their lightsabers deflecting the incoming fire as the Sigmas immediately manned the guns and started to take shots at the city structures and supports. The Jedi team moved quickly and fluidly, using their Jedi skills to evade the attacks. Superman, Ultron and Homelander gave them a quick lift and dropped them off on the deck of the ship. The five started to just mow down the exhausted crew on deck. 

Magneto, wasting no time, used his magnetic powers to control the metal of the enemy weapons. He lifted the guns into the air, twisting and contorting them until they were rendered useless. Ice Man and Slider were able to take off in time and went to the sky to shoot down the 1000 sunny. The degens didn’t even see it coming because they were too busy pushing zyns into each other’s assholes. But the ship crashed into the sea and they all ded. It really happened ong no cap. 

Avatar Aang and Star Sapphire combined their powers to create a massive energy shield. The shield was strong enough to protect the entire team from the incoming fire, providing a safe space for them to regroup. Martian Manhunter used his telepathic powers to infiltrate the enemy's mind. He was able to read their thoughts and gain insight into their strategy, providing valuable intelligence to the rest of the team.

On the deck of the ship, Asoka, Kenobi, Ultron, Superman and Homelander charged forward, using their superhuman strength and Jedi strength to plow through the enemy lines. They punched and blasted their way through the soldiers, leaving a path of destruction in their wake. Mario and Luigi were killed hundreds of times but they kept respawning. This is because during their bored week at sea, they just jumped on Gary’s shell for fun and racked up a ton of free lives.

Back up on the deck, Van Helsing, John Wilkes Booth, and Robert E Lee provided covering fire, using their guns and rifles to take out any remaining enemy soldiers they could see. They were able to stay back from the front lines, picking off targets from a safe distance until Ice Man flew his plane into the deck of the city in a kamikaze attack. 

Aang figured enough was enough and started a whirlpool that quickly sent the ship spinning and Magneto used his force to push the aft of the ship down while Martian Manhunter lifted the bow. The ship was starting to swirl and was ready to go down like a turd. The Gentlemen made a hasty escape from the deck of the ship but not before Ki Adi was able to out duel Snips and Qui Gon bested his old apprentice. On their flight out, Supes put a hole in the hull of the ship for good measure ensuring no Sigmas remained on board. The remaining Gentlemen regrouped and watched from the city platforms as the last Sigmas sank.

Week 6: Doctor's Madhouse vs TEAM

The Madhouse Squad: Jango Fett in Slave 1, Ocean Master, Kit Fisto, Swamp Thing, Loch Ness Monster, Atlanteans #1-8, Sharkticon #1-5, Allicon #6-10, Water Bender #1-5, Ranx the Sentient City, Captain Marvel, Nova, Mirage, Yellow Lantern #3, Star Sapphire #2, Mutant 1-5, Predator #1-20, Parademon #1-10, Gremlin #1-10, Hydra Agent #1-5

TEAM Team: Godzilla, Vah Ruta, Vah Medoh, Vah Rudania, Vah Naboris, Phibian #1-10, Gizmo, Mace Windu, Thor, Thunderstrike, Tenzin, Katara, Sokka, Toph, Appa, Momo, Jack Lalane, and Zachary Houslander, Kyle Houslander, Alex Houslander, Chris Artrip, Conner Weidman, Reece Reamer, Darrin, Old Man Parks, Ethan Petz, Kyle’s Homeboy Phrunk’s Dad in Magic School Bus

We open above Kamino, Ranx the Sentient City sitting just out of the gravitational field of the planet. The Madhouse squad was lined up, Jango Fett was walking the line inspecting the troops. Their plan: Use Slave 1 to land the squad on Tipoca City where TEAM was holding down. Yellow Lantern #3 and Star Sapphire #2 would assist in this process, moving the water units and the bigger units to the surface. Parademons 1-10 had already infiltrated Tipoca and were relaying information about an optimal landing. 

On the surface TEAM was watching the looming threat just beyond the atmosphere. Most of the squad would remain in the city except for Jack, Zach, Kyle, Alex, Chris, Conner, Reece, Darrin, Parks, Ethan, and Phrunk’s Dad, who all loaded onto the Magic School Bus. Their goal: disconnect Ranx from his data feed.

The Seige of Tipoca City

Vah Medoh was the first to spot the Madhouse squad moving in for a landing. Jango warned his passengers before making an intense maneuver to dodge the cannon fire. One of the shots hit Yellow Lantern #3 and fried the Loch Ness Monster and the Atlanteans inside his construct. Star Sapphire #2 made it close enough to the surface to drop the Skakticons and Ocean Master into the ocean and the Allicons onto the roofs of the city. Captain Marvel and Nova finished Vah Medoh before the beast could cause anymore damage. They turned their attention to the other divine beasts, while two large bolts of lighting hit them both at the same time. The two fell from the sky and Thor and Thunderstrike began putting the work on Nova and Captain Marvel once they hit the deck. In one particular moment the two crossed their two strikes of lightning and fried Nova from existence. Captain Marvel wasn’t intent on fighting a two on one though and hit Thunderstrike so hard, her hand pierced his body and he fell to the ground. Captain Marvel and Thor then began a battle of attrition, each trading heavy blows when the opportunity presented itself.

The signal was given for the Parademons to exit their positions and distract TEAM so the landing could be made. They were successful, but all died in the process. Out of Slave 1 came (the dude) Kit Fisto, Swamp Thing, Water Benders, Mirage, Mutants, Predators, Gremlins, and the Hydra Agents. The landing zone was highly contested, but with the distraction of the parademons and Allicons (who got blasted by the Divine Beasts), only the Hydra Agents, Gremlins, and half the Predators were lost. With everyone out Jango took off again to help take down the rest of the Divine Beasts. The Water benders swelled the ocean and wiped Gizmo and Tenzin off the edge, but Tenzin was able to save himself. 

Kit Fisto found Mace Windu standing across a walkway from him and the two began one of the most intense light saber duels in the history of the universe, which everyone respected the fuck out of enough to stay out of it. Star Sapphire #2 was doing their best to distract the Divine Beasts from wiping out anymore of the Madhouse squad, but was pushing their limits. That's when Jango came in with a fly by, destroying the supports of the platforms they were standing on and sending them crashing into the oceans below, where they sank till they were crushed by the pressure.

Under the city, there were only two fighters left at this point: Ocean Master vs Godzilla. The Phibians were torn up by the Sharkticons, who stood no chance against Godzilla. Ocean Master attempted to out maneuver the beast and prod him with his trident in the throat, but he was overconfident and thought the monster was stupid. On one of his passes Godzilla surprised him and swiped him with his arm, dazing Ocean Master. Godzilla then gripped Ocean Master with its mouth and shot its atomic breath.

Swamp Thing, the Water Benders, Mirage, the Mutants and the remaining Predators only had the Gaang and Tenzin to deal with. They found the Gaang on a platform, and the battle commenced. Mirage shot a blast at Toph which was caught before it hit her by Sokka’s boomerang. Swamp Thing sent out several copies of himself which were cut down. From the bodies vines grew out and gripped Appa making him unable to move. That's when the Predators uncloaked themselves as they surrounded the entire platform. They all charged in ready to kill the beast and while they were successful in killing Appa and Momo, many of them were pushed off the platform into the waters below or cut down. Sokka and Toph were being pounced on by the Mutants and were killed. Tenzin responded by creating a vortex around them and suffocated them all. Mirage took this moment to plant a pile driver on him. Katara was enraged and all alone, but noticed the vines connected all the way back to Swamp Thing. She pulled all the moisture from his main body quicker than it could be replenished by the rain which left him unalive. Though Katara was strong, she was no match for a six on one against five water benders and Mirage. While she was able to kill several of the water benders she was eventually bested. Looking down below to see if anyone knocked off had survived, they only observed a glimpse of Godzilla as it had finished eating their teammates before diving into the depths. 

The Fisto Windu fight was still underway at this point. Both powerful Jedi were struggling to find an opening as they knew each other well. With the arrival of Mirage and the remaining water benders though, it was clear that Windu wouldn’t make it out of this one alive. The Madhouse squad had lost so many comrades at this point and while they wanted to respect the fight, but they wouldn't risk losing another. The distraction of their attacks allowed Fisto to strike a killing blow. They all grouped up and made their way to the final fight with Thor to help Captain Marvel. With everyone together and air support, they were able to defeat them without suffering another casualty. With all the fighting on Tipoca City over, they breathed a sigh of relief. That's when the whole city began to shake. Godzilla was intent on bringing the whole place down. They rushed for a landing zone to board Slave 1, but it was clear that Mirage wouldn’t make it on this trip. As Slave 1 took off, the city fell. Jango had a present for Godzilla though and dropped a seismic charge with it. The blast heavily damaged Godzilla who was forced to retreat and heal off the planet's radiation. 

A Ride on a Magic Bus

The magic school bus managed to slip by the Madhouse landing squads. Landing on Ranx undetected (because magic), the TEAM squad made their way towards the command center. The team did their best to move covertly. Conner and Ethan kept goofing around and asking absurd would you rathers, which really pissed off Kyle. Phrunk’s Dad turned around and called them all retards and reminded them they had a job to do here. Finally reaching the command center and entering, Alex shit his pants, not cause he was scared, but he really had to go and couldn’t figure which bathroom to use since he didn't understand the language. The smell was rancid enough to incapacitate anyone in the vicinity which opened the path for the squad, since they were used to it. Ranx sensing their presence in the control center, constructed a rock behemoth to fend off the attack. The squad dove for cover but Jack, Parks, and Chris were crushed. 

Zach, Kyle, Alex, Ethan, Conner, Reece, Darrin and Phrunk’s Dad had to think fast. Reece and Darrin volunteered to distract the monster while the others made a break for it deeper into the complex. With the distraction under way the rest of the squad made it past, but Phrunk’s Dad never leaves a man behind so he told the others to go on ahead. Finding some sort of space gun on the ground he went back. Darrin had been hit badly by the beast and Reece was comforting him behind cover in his final moments about to be crushed as well. Zach, Kyle, Alex, Ethan, and Conner were now in the main control center. The squad began a tech beat down worthy of that one scene from Office Space and Ranx was defeated. The planet began to float aimlessly, basically banishing the squad to the depth of space with their mission complete. The squad went back to see if there were any other survivors and found Phrunk’s Dad heavily injured. He told them that he was proud of them for completing the mission with his final breath before falling to the ground.

Week 6: Diddlers vs Redskins

Diddlers: Bad Batch: Hunter, Echo, Wrecker, Tech, Crosshair, Omega in the Marauder, Rebels crew: Hera Syndulla, Kanan Jarrus, Garazeb Orrelios in Ghost and Sabine Wren, Ezra Bridger, Chopper in Phantom II, Emperor Palpatine, Captain Rex, Aquaman, Loki, Naruto, T-1000, Master Pakku, Red Lotus: Zaheer, Ghazan, P’Li, and Ming-Hua, Donald Trump in Penguin Suit, Crash Bandicoot, Autobot Transformers #1-4

Redskins: Namor, Larfleeze, Indigo One, Monk, Saint Walker, Aspen, Sando Aqua Monster, Mandalore the Great, Allicon #1-5, Toad, Abe Sapien, Kermit the Frog, The Leprechaun, Squirtle, Sharkticon #6-10, Atlantean #9-10, Toxic Crusaders: Toxie, No-Zone, Major Disaster, Headbanger, and Junkyard, Dobby, Omega Supreme

Clone Force 99 and the rest of the Diddlers are set up on the clone home world, Kamino. Meanwhile, the Washington Redskins have secretly infiltrated the stormy planet. Considering the advanced nature of the above water structures, this battle is divided into a water battle and a rainy land battle…

Under the sea, under the sea, when the sardine begin the beguine… sorry… let’s take a look in the depths of the sea. I am a lazy writer this week so essentially what had happened was some Diddlers went against some Redskins and I’ll spare the details. Diddlers’ Master Pakku, Ming-Hua, Donald Trump, Autobot Transformers #1-4, T-1000, Naruto, and Aquaman had perished. As for the Redskins, Abe Sapien was the sole water survivor and moved back to the surface to help the rest of the battle while Namor, Aspen, Sando Aqua Monster, Allicon #1-5, Toad, Kermit the Frog, Squirtle, Sharkticon #6-10, Atlantean #9-10 did not survive.

Now onto the above water portion… immediately into battle we go. Note that OMMMEEEEEGGGAAA is a wee bitch so she “accidently” fell out of the Marauder to her death. After that, all in all I have no creative juices flowing for this match, sorry lads. So I’ll do a quick summary of the main events that occurred. Emperor Palpatine did a cool execution of order 66, the Redskin lanterns had some fun, Dobby is a certified DAWG so he just retreated to safety since Harry Potter needed some help on another world, Red Lotus went off because they too are a hood classic, Omega Supreme was in fact the supreme Omega in this fight, and Captain Rex is simply Captain Rex.

In the end… the Diddler’s out diddled the HUT.