Grindhouse vs Red Army

The Red Army: Earth 2 Superman, Iorek Byrnison, Duke w/green lantern ring, The Captain (Immell #5) w/ Captain America's Shield, Heimdall, Vindicator, Elita One w/ matrix, Sucker Punch Crew: Babydoll, Sweet Pea, Rocket, Blondie, & Amber, Whizzy the Super Cat, Vampire Orion, and Suspiria Witch Coven Member #2.

Grindhouse: Siren, Xebel Soldiers #15-19, Blue Lantern Kyle Rayner w/ Ion's Green Lantern ring, White Lantern Abin Sur, Arkillo, Deadman, Donald Duck w/ red lantern ring, Mickey Mouse w/ legion flight ring, Pretender Monsters: Birdbrain, Bristleback, Scowl, Icepick, Slog and Wildfly, Gremlin #4 (Marv), Goro w/ yellow lantern ring, Magmar, Geoff Johns w/ healing factor gun, and Jar Jar Binks

The two teams are dropped into the combat area.

"Meesa havin' fun!" exclaims Jar Jar as he slides off of an iceberg into the cold arctic water. There he sees the sucker punch crew who have also slid into the water and are turning blue from hypothermia.

The Grindhouse are still bitter from last year's playoff loss and move quick to exact their revenge. The Universe Bowl should have theirs last year had the Red Army not stolen the match in the first round of last year's playoffs. They have spent much of the last offseason preparing for this rematch, in order to send their enemy and the rest of the league a message.

The pretender monsters, having already formed Monstructor, move towards Elita one. She fires her blaster at Monstructor but misses. Mostructor picks her up and snaps her body in half, then crushes suspiria witch coven member #2 with it. He throws the other have at The Captain who blocks it with his shield. Monstructor repeatedly swings at The Captain who continuously blocks his punches with his shield. Deadman comes at The Captain from the side knocking him over and causing him to drop his shield. Monstructor uses his moment of weakness to stomp on The Captain flattening him into the ice.

Continuing their assault Goro, Magmar, and Geoff Johns attack Iorek Byrnison. The polar bear king swipes his paw at Geoff Johns who falls to the ground bleeding. Goro holds down the bear while Magmar rips his armor off. Duke joins the fight and knocks Goro off of Iorek Byrnison, who seizes the opportunity and rips Goro's top two arms off. Iorek Byrnison shows how strong he is as he trades punches with the rock lord. Duke jumps in to help and falls dead from a head shot. Iorek Byrnison turns to see Geoff Johns fully healed, then the last thing he sees is a bullet travel straight into his eye.

Siren, meanwhile, attacks vindicator along with her Xebel Soldiers. Vindicator creates arctic ice daggers and throws them through the chest of Xebel Soldiers #15&16. The three remaining Xebel Soldiers hold down Vindicator while Siren forces a stream of water down her throat, drowning her.

Whizzy the Supercat chases after Mickey Mouse, who jumps off an iceberg onto Donald Duck. Whizzy lunges at them but misses and lands into the water. Since cats hate water he loses focus and starts crying and growling.  Arkillo pops out of the water behind him, dismembers, and then eats him.

The remaining Red Army members regroup on an iceberg to plan their attack. Blue Lantern Kyle Rayner, White Lantern Abin Sur, Arkillo, Goro, and Donald Duck use their rings to create a construct of a prison around the Red Army. Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and Jar Jar approach Earth 2 Superman.

"The time for supermen in this league is over." says Mickey Mouse. "Teams with supermen characters are a thing of the past. Disney characters will soon be hoisting the Universe Bowl Trophy. You have no place left. Surrender and we will allow the rest of your team to live."

Earth 2 Superman takes a moment to ponder their offer. "I have a counter offer for you." Earth 2 Superman then uses his heat vision to incinerate Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and Jar-Jar Binks. Next he melts the iceberg below him allowing his team to escape from the prison. Marv then jumps off the side of an iceberg into the water. Earth 2 Superman swoops in and catches him right before he hits the water. While all of the Grindhouse watches he crushes Marv in his fist. He dips his dirtied hand into the cool arctic water, pulls it out and polishes off his championship ring. He then flips off the Grindhouse as he flies away and orders his team to retreat.

S6W4 - The Shemalabama's Shitkickers vs The Transfoamers

The Shemalabama’s Shitkickers are: Nightwing (Lor Zod), Flamebird (Thar Ak-Ur), Red Lantern Hal Jordan, Vampire Kilowog, Razor, Aya, Blackfire, Duke/Transformer Mech Unit, Snake Eyes/Transformer Mech Unit, Scarlett/Transformer Mech Unit, Roadblock/Transformer Mech Unit, Albert (Wolverine Cyborg), Elsie-Dee, Revan, Bishop

“Master Revan, we have been waiting here on the field of battle for six nights.  We already missed the Seder and I cannot miss the last night of Passover!” exclaims Bishop.  “I think it is clearly evident that The Transfoamers are not going to show.”

“That may be true,” replies the ancient Jedi, “But we must wait here until they decide to submit a team or until the watcher grows tired of waiting and then is forced to write a crappy story about us sitting around eating unleavened bread for the last 7 days.”

It is at this time that an incoming communication begins to ring on Roadblock’s dash.  It is extremely uncommon for a team to have any interaction with the watchers or with ownership.  They get teleported, they kill, they die, repeat ten times, then they go to the graveyard.  This is the life of a FFL solider.  So when the higher powers call down to them (on the field of battle no less) everyone is silent and gathers around the screen.

“Greetings Shitkickers!  It is I, Fizzatu, your watcher for this week’s battle”

“Some battle we got here.” says an annoyed Bishop.

“Yeah!  What’s the deal? “ RL Hal Jordan adds.

“I have been in communication with The Commish, he has attempted to reach the ‘Foamers multiple times but they failed to send in a team or respond to his requests,” says the best looking watcher in the league.  “I'm getting bored so I am going to upload the coordinates of their home base into Roadblock’s SatNav.  Go there, kill whoever you want, and I’ll teleport you back out before they know what hit ‘em.  Sound good?”

After a brief pause Revan says with a smile, “Sounds Great…”

 

The Shitkickers arrive at home complex for The Transfoamers and are surprised at the sheer size.  Given the fact that they need to store hundreds of Transformers between matches, it actually shouldn’t be that surprising.  There are twelve large garages that most certainly house the large robots.  Three other buildings, also impressive in size, are clearly configured to house the more human sized members of the squad.  As they approach the buildings, Bishop stops the crew and directs their attention to the doorways above the first building.  Then they notice the second building.  Each one of the fifteen buildings has a large bloody, oily smear above their main entrances.  Lying dead upon the ground is the 15 Beast Wars Transformers that have clearly been sacrificed.

Bishop is clearly moved by this gesture.  “We have to go.” He says.  “The blood of these Paschal Lambs has already been spilled.”  He turns to face his team and they see how solemn and serious he is.

Revan nods and hits a button on Roadblock’s dash.  “Fizzatu, “ he says, “we’re all set here.”

As they are being teleported out, Nightwing turns to Flamebird and quietly asks “What’s a Paschal Lamb?”

“I have no idea,” replies Flamebird, “I’m Catholic.”

Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers Vs. Layanderlett's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make A New Family

Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers are Power Girl, Skyfire, White Dragon #13, King Lauffey, Frost Giant #1-6, and Courtney Cox.

Layanderlett's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family are Mr. Freeze, Krypto the Superdog, The Arc Troopers: Captain, Lieutenant #1 and 2, Heavy Weapons Master, and #1-5 w/ Aerial Clone Trooper #1, Meta Knight, Max, Shark Boy, and Lava Girl, Mystery Inc.: Fred, Velma, Daphne, Shaggy, Scooby-Doo, and Scooby Dumb, Vampire Assajj Ventress, Vampire Nick Houslander, Seaworm #7 & 8, Dark Supergirl, Vampire Starfire, Aunt May, Kyle Houslander, Zachary Houslander, Zombie Sonic the Hedgehog, and Iggy Koopa.


Well, dorks and dorkettes Joshatu the Fat and Gas-filled is busy watching The Slaves Vs. The Horsemen, so I am here to fill your brains with the best burp and fart jokes that your moronic little mind can handle (and I might just watch this match while I'm at it). So BLADD-OWHH Or whatever nonsensical thing the kids are saying these days. I'll be honest when I tell you that I can't see the action as well as I should because I am hold up inside this gnarly V.I.P. Watcher trailer with the heat cranked, a fat cigar blazing, and cup of hot coco bigger than Roseanne Barr's Butt. I mean, come on it's freezing out there and I can give you the gist of what is going on from inside here (maybe).

King Laufey is holding court in the largest of the icebergs, surrounded by his six frost giants and his ice queen Courtney Cox. He is swallowing large gulps of mead and consuming mass quantities of meat, while his woman sits on his lap. The two of them indulge in the smell of each others rich farts and they glare at any Frost Giant who dares cover their nose at the smell of their urine-soaked thrones (kings and queens don't get up unless they want to). Laufey and Courtney feel safe and content knowing that their skies are protected by Power Girl, Skyfire, and their white dragon; but The Super Kitties have determination, strength in numbers, dreams of the play-offs within their grasp, ... And a perfect record to maintain. King Lauffey and Queen Courtney of the House of Cox may have selected the most protected spot in the setting; but Mr. Freeze can fairly easily bridge the gap of icebergs with his freeze gun without the benefit of dragons or transformers. The area around them becomes engulfed in solid ice, instead of water; creating a large block of ice where these two entire teams can become locked in battle. Whew, sorry all that nonsense sounded like Josh writing for a second. Let me think of a poop joke... Okay here we go, what smells like poop; but looks like Easter chocolate... Wait for it... Poop molded into a bunny... Ha!! Get it. Anyways...

Power Girl starts by catching up to Zombie Sonic and punching his head off, but then is confronted by the trio of Krypto and Vampire Starfire, being led by Dark Supergirl. Power Girl quickly grabs a hold of Krypto and gets the dog in a strangle hold which cracks his neck. She then powers through the eye blasts of Starfire and comes back with enough heat vision to blast through her neck and remove the vampire's head. From this point Dark Supergirl and her good alternate earth self begin battling like crazy. The bruised and battered Dark Supergirl is able to get the upper hand in the battle and throws Power Girl to the ground. She then sends her foot through the face of Power Girl to finish her off. Supergirl would normally be game for the fight that approaches her, but she is so worn out from the battle with Power Girl, that the six Frost Giants that surround her have little difficulty battering her to death. Oh, and by the way Magwai #2 jumped into the water and has made hundreds of clones of himself, granted they all froze to death, but there sure were a lot of them. Speaking of freezing to death, I don't really need to tell you what happened to Aunt May, do I? Lava Girl didn't do so “hot” either, as she melted through the ice and drowned, but luckily she was able to toss a fireball at Queen Courtney before she went all the way through the ice which burnt Cox's face off.... Now Laufey and the Frost Giants are really mad. Yeah, I'm glad I'm stuck in this trailer, cuz this is about to get real ugly. It's prolly gonna be quick one way or another... Now let's get back to this thing... Skyfire does a strafing run that takes out Vampire Nick and the team's unofficial leader Mr. Freeze; but doesn't realize at first that The Arc Troopers have covertly landed on the Autobot and boarded him. They begin to rip apart the Transformer from the inside; but Skyfire reacts quickly. He divebombs into the water, allowing his entire insides to fill up with the freezing cold water. The Arc Troopers all drown and Skyfire is able to break back through the ice and rejoin the battle. The White Dragon swoops down and blasts Max with some wicked frost breath and then is met by the two ice bros., who the dragon makes short work of. Fred and Velma begin wondering where their powerful Seaworms have run off to, and they decide that they need to get to the bottom of this mystery. They tell Shag and Scoob to go find Shark Boy and tell him to jump in the water and start swimming around making as many waves as possible. The White Dragon enjoys a delicious meal of Scooby-Dumb, but while he is distracted, Vampire Ventress manages to double lightsaber his head clean off. Vampire Ventress then rushes towards King Lauffey, while the Frost Giants begin looming over Kyle, Zack, and Iggy Koopa. “These dudes are huge” screams Zack. “Which ones” replies Kyle as the two enormous seaworms come busting through the ice and take out all involved in the skirmish on both sides with their monstrous crysknife filled mouths wide open. Skyfire lands and begins taking aim at Meta-Knight. The Kirby king and Mystery Inc. try and draw his fire, but it seems like Velma has actually snuck inside the Autobot. Skyfire blasts Fred, Daphne, Shag, and Scoob; as well as Meta-Knight. But suddenly Skyfire transforms and begins to fly directly into the mouth of Seaworm #7, or is it #8, who knows, who cares? Right?? Velma sits behind the reprogrammed controls of Skyfire and says to the Autobot “Ha, bet you didn't think I could reprogram Cybertronian tech did ya?!!? Teach ya to mess with my friends”!! Skyfire then crashes into the mouth of Seaworm #8 killing all involved in the crash.

George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips

George Washington's Slaves are Amazo, Non, Solomon Grundy, Ymir, Kol Skywalker (w/ green lantern ring), Shado Vao, Tim Cheveldae (w/ Tron Light Suit), Paul Coffey (w/ green lightsaber), Steve Yzerman (w/ w/ green lightsaber), Brian Murray (w/ green lightsaber), Chuck Norris (w/ Iron Man Suit), Venom II, Runner, Doppleganger, and Boga.

The Horsemen of Apokolips are Superman, Flamebird, Nightwing, Dark Archangel, Ozymandias, War: Decimus Furius, Death: Sanjar Javered, Penstilence: Ichisumi, Famine: Jeb Lee, Black Lantern Yoda, White Suit Anakin Skywalker and John Mclane in a Snow Speeder, Black Lantern Chris Artrip, Black Lantern Mike Sroka, and Bugs Bunny (W/ Orange Kryptonite).


Ha... Sup y'all. Neon Master Pogo here to watch these two hella-sweet teams go at it out in the middle of this hell hole of ice... I'm going to start by... (cut-off in mid sentence)... “Shut your face Pogo. Like I'm going to let you watch this match”... This one is all me. Says Joshatu: The Great and Powerful.

It is a bitterly cold evening here on the Arctic Tundra as these two powerhouses mount up against one another. Neither of these teams held back anything going into this regular season match-up between two past Universe Bowl Combatants. A rivalry that was stained with the blood of top draft picks four long years ago. Dark Archangel has taken the lead of this Horsemen squad, due to the fact that many of the squad's most powerful characters are still emotionally and mentally troubled by fighting for a team with such a checkered past. Superman's issues have been well documented throughout this season, but other Horsemen go into this battle with reservations as well. Flamebird and Nightwing, despite fighting for The Men of Apokolips for several seasons can't help but think that their relative Superman has some points when it comes to his public misgivings. John Mclane still can't believe he's back, and especially fighting against a team that he once fought alongside of as part of The Fizzle Divizzle. While The Black Lantern Versions of both Yoda and Chris Artrip just can't help but feel that something is not right about mounting an attack against George Washington's Slaves. The Slaves on the other hand are geared up for a fight and are all on the same page, mostly due to the incredible field leadership of Steve to the Steve and The Brian Murenthay. Several of the fighters on both of these teams realize that this will most likely be their last FFL Fight; but they would all find it to be worth it if it means dealing a loss to their rival.

This match quickly begins to morph in to a water match as the firepower of these two teams works to melt the ice around them, making the icebergs few and far between. It makes this team battle turn into a series of small skirmishes as the icebergs become separated by yards and yards and gallons and gallons of water. Non follows Amazo, as they take to the air and move towards The Final Horsemen. Amazo knows that he must take out these ancient mutants if The Slaves will ever achieve the proper chance to take down a fully-powered Horsemen Squad. He also knows that Non at the tale end of his FFL career is exactly the “Slave” he wants by his side to take out Dark Archangel and his crew of death-dealers.

Anakin and Mclane begin what may end up being a future FFL BFF Scenario as they speed around the outskirts of the icy tundra, setting up a perimeter for the rest of the Horsemen.

The Black-Coated gun wielding Venom leaps at the black-Coated gun wielding Chris Artrip, on the same berg as Black Lantern Mike Sroka who attempts to bite off more than he can chew by wildly charging at The Runner. Bugs Bunny is flying around at top speed with his Kryptonian like powers when he finds out to his dismay that his Orange Kryptonite is bestowing the same powers on Boga as it is on him.

Black Lantern Yoda, a strange amalgamation of a creature still drawn in by the dark-spirited want to eat every heart in his way and of a Master Jedi with a force of will and dedicated philosophy that still makes him very much the Yoda of old. This confused version of power makes short work of the wooden Solomon Grundy, who actually doesn't have to die on a Monday because I am actually watching this match early this week. Solomon Grundy quickly finds himself headless as he rushes towards the miniature Master Lantern and his “blackened” green lightsaber. BL Yoda finds that Doppleganger resides on this small island as well.

Flamebird and Nightwing surround the berg where Ozymandias is doing his best to dodge the attacks of Ymir, who is being backed up by Tim, Paul, Steve, and The Bry.

Superman is busy receiving fits from the green lantern powered descendant of his TEAMmate (Oops, I mean teammate. Sorry, old habits) Anakin Skywalker. Kol and his padawan Shado Vao. The Jedi are fast, but Superman is faster. And when Kol Skywalker takes aim with the full power of his green ring in the form of a kryptonite spear to blast Supes, The Man of Steel moves out of the way just in time causing the blast to miss Superman and hit Shado Vao head on. The sight of his dead apprentice brings Skywalker to a very non-jedi like rage. He draws his lightsaber and leaps at Superman with his ring power being dedicated fully to his protective aura. Superman despite this great show of power by his opponent manages to catch the lightsaber filled hand of his opponent in his own and then finish him off with a dose of heat vision that raises the temperature of this entire frigid setting by a solid fifteen degrees.

… Chuck Norris is nowhere to be found... But it is the job of the ranger to be invisible...

Amazo and Non attack Dark Archangel's team without prejudice. As quick as the flash, Amazo uses his green lantern like abilities to lay waste to Decimus Furius and Ichisumi. While Non brutally crushes the heads of Sanjar Javeed and Jeb Lee. Dark Archangel rushes in too late in an attempt to fight alongside his crew; but he still has his rage as an ally. He powers through Amazo, leading with his wings and slices the robot into three pieces. Amazo dies unable to recoup from the wounds due to Apocalypse's mysticism still lingering within the wings of Archangel. Amazo is quickly avenged though as Non grabs a hold of the wings of Archangel viciously ripping them off before crushing the mutant's cranium with his bare hands.

Flamebird and Nightwing swoop down towards their opponents. Ozymandias backflips out of the way to make room for their attacks in the nick of time; but Ymir welcomes the duo. He stands prepared to do battle in his icy home turf; but his arrogance gets the best of him, as he cannot withstand the physical barrage that he is subjected to as Flamebird and Nightwing come down hard on the frost giant. Tim Cheveldae in full tron light suit and Steve Yzerman, with his kyber-crystal, green bladed hockey stick rush the two Kryptonians next but they are easily dispatched by one quick swat from their super-strength powered backhands. Black Lantern Sroka in a Tim-filled rage sees this out of the corner of his eye and goes nuts... How he so wanted to consume the heart of Tim to the Timmy. The Black Lantern decides to end his battle quickly, by surprisingly ripping into the heart of The Runner. The far more powerful character cannot believe that he is meeting his demise from a creature singing, ranting, and carrying on about Tim, Paul, Steve, and The Bry, Tim Mevelmae, Scrimmell, Crimmell, and Timmell. Sroka quickly eats his heart as if he was killing his desert hot dog on the way out the door of Coney Island. The Insane lantern then flies to the nearby iceberg where he means to consume the heart of his idol Paul Coffey. But Coffey can go lunatic, just as good as the next guy... Paul scores on his own net in the process; but uses his green bladed hockey stick, along with his explosive power to remove the head of Black Lantern Sork and end his reign of timmelerror (by the way, in this case “scoring on his own net” refers to how Paul accidentally cut off The Bry's head while igniting his lightstick... Oops).

Flamebird and Nightwing take flight to search out their next opponent, but he finds them before they find him. Non, is in a rage. Though he would normally be outmatched by the two much faster and sleeker Kryptonians, Non is not taken by them today. He grabs them both by the neck, one in each hand and does not stop squeezing until they are lifeless. He is scarred by the heat vision blasts from the two dying women; but it was not enough to stop him... But their cousin is. Superman rushes in and attacks Non head on. The two battle in the air, trading blows; but the weakened Non is no match for Supes. The Last Son of Krypton becomes the last character of Krypton left in this battle as he comes down hard on the back of Non's neck with both fists.

Black Lantern Fizz attacks with a fueled hatred for life; but he is not quite quick enough to take out the highly trained Venom. His symbiote powers dig deep into the history of the species to find the right chemical mix to coat his bullets that is able to kill the unsuspecting Black Lantern with what seems to be conventional tech. The now super-powered Boga leaps to Ozymandias' berg in a single bound and heat visions the hell out of the hero turned businessman. Black Lantern Yoda leaves his battle with Doppleganger to nip this super-powered alien in the bud right quick. A series of quick flips and black lantern fueled force pushes are enough to slow down the Boga, and a lightsaber to the heart is enough to finish him off. Yoda begins to sheath his lightsaber when he feels a disturbance in the force. He turns around just in time to feel the combined power of flame and laser melting Yoda into nothingness... You never know when the ranger lurks behind you...

White Suit Skywalker is busy complaining about the inferior rebel tech used in the making of their snow speeder, while Mclane is complaining about everything else. Skywalker and Mclane take aim from the air at Venom, but their ship is then hit from behind. “S**t Skywalker, I thought you were a Go*^(mn pilot, what the f^&k hit us” screams John. Anakin crash lands the speeder safely and sees Norris land in front of them. Venom, Doppleganger, and Coffey join him to make their last stand. But Skywalker ignites his lightsaber and prepares for battle. Venom leaps at the Horsemen BFFs; but is taken out of the air by the speeding Bugs Bunny. Venom fights back, but if you thought Bugs was quick like a bunny before, you should see him on Orange Kryptonite. Bugs is unaffected by Venom's bullets, but Venom is very affected by Bugs' heat vision, which melts him in to nothingness. “S&*t, why don't we use this rabbit every G%%^*&mn week”? Asks Mclane. Doppleganger attacks next, but is met with a wicked left handed punch to the mouth from Mclane. The two begin rolling in the snow beating the living hell out of each other, while Norris and Skywalker compete in an amazing battle of finesse and grace. Superman shows up to help out what is left of his team, but he's not sure which fight he can even get in the middle of. Bugs moves to help out Anakin, but Coffey is ready; and he always has hated cartoons (they get in the way of training to gain explosive power). Coffey launches his lightstick at Bugs and with a little luck and a ton of hall of fame skill Paulathore manages to put it directly into the chest of Bugs Bunny to send his second person of the day to the graveyard.

Anakin manages to finally get close enough to Iron Norris by dodging his many attacks. He leaps into the air and removes his head, ala Windu/Fett in Episode 2. Skywalker sees what has happened to Bugs out of the corner of his eye and immediately begins force-choking the All Star (he may be good now, but he still did have years of Sith training... Besides, Luke and Leia aren't around). Coffey dies, as Anakin regroups with Superman. They begin casually discussing the battle plan, while Mclane floats up on the brink of hypothermia, bruised and bleeding, using the body of Doppleganger as a life raft. He crawls up on the iceberg and says: “No no no, please don't help... I got this.. Super-powered, useless A**holes”!!

The Royal Highness Vs. Griswold's Nut-busters

The Royal Highness is Metroplex, Doomslayer, Cyborg Doomsday, Steel Doomsday, Superboy Doomsday, The Phantom Stranger, Jadis, The White Witch, and Randy Couture (in an Iron Man Suit).

Griswold's Nut-Busters are The Circle of Fire: Pel Tavin, Ali Rayner-West, Hunter and Forest Rayner, G.L. 71776, and Alexandra Dewitt, Teneb Kel w/ Maggot, Heat Man, Vampire Hal Jordan, Slym and Red Dayspring, (Age of Apocalypse) Nightcrawler, Pepper Potts (w/ Rescue Armor), Jarvis, Exal Kresh, Sharkticon #1-6, Dark Side Marauder #1, and Evan Sabahnur.


**This match must be read (even if it is silently) in your best generic robot voice.**


I am Robimus Prime... Watcher from the sector known to you in your native tongue as Cybertron. I was created over 1 million years ago by the all-powerful watchers as their guardian from the forces of evil that would inevitably attempt to battle them for their immense power... But as their creation... I too am Watcher, and I shall bear witness to the following events and relay my findings to you.

These two teams appear powerful... The Nut-busters maintain an advantage due to their superior numbers... **Calculating** … It is unclear which squad has the advantage in regards to sheer power... The battle must take place as the line-ups alone do not compute ... The Circle of Fire, led by Vampire Jordan firsts squares off against the squad comprised of clones of the powerhouse known as Doomsday. Their fighting begins and perpetuates a series of events that would most likely be considered entertaining by the minds of carbon based life-forms ... The two meat-based characters in suits of metal, attempting to emulate my natural nature square off in the air; but not before Randy Couture helps to upset Ms. Potts by putting a rocket through the face of Jarvis …. Jarvis dies... Evan Sabahnur squares off in a battle of powerset and mental capacity with The Phantom Stranger, yet this match-up is off balance with the addition of Nightcrawler, Exal Kresh, and Teneb Kel aiding Evan ... Gambit is joined by Heat Man and The Marauder of the Dark Side to fight The White Witch ... The two known as Dayspring have taken command of the six Sharkticons to do battle with my Cybertronian brethren known as Metroplex. … The Phantom Stranger shoots an energy bolt at Nightcrawler, Exal Kresh, and Teneb Kel. Teneb Kel dies... Exal Kresh dies... Nightcrawler teleports away... Evan Sabahnur mentally crushes The Phantom Stranger... The Phantom Stranger dies.. Metroplex steps on Sharticoon #1... Sharkticon #1 dies... Metroplex steps on Sharkticon #2... Sharkticon #2 dies... Metroplex steps on Sharkticon #3... Sharkticon #3 dies... Metroplex steps on Sharkticon #4... Sharkticon #4 dies... Metroplex steps on Sharkticon #5... Sharkticon #5 dies... Metroplex steps on Sharkticon #6... Sharkticon #6 dies... The White Witch does magic... The magic kills Gambit... Gambit dies... The magic kills The Dark Side Marauder... The Dark Side Marauder dies... Heat Man emits heat from his hands and anus... Heat Man defecates fire on the face of White Witch... White Witch dies... Now she is Red and Brown Witch... This is joke because fire poop is red and brown... Ha Ha Funny... Joke does not compute... Doomslayer punches Pel Tavin... Pel Tavin dies... Cyborg Doomsday punches G.L. 71776. G.L. 71776 dies. Steel Doomsday punches Forest Rayner... Forest Rayner dies. Ali-Rayner West, Hunter Rayner, Alexdra Dewitt, and Hal Jordan all shoot at Superboy Doomsday... Superboy Doomsday dies... Doomslayer punches Ali Rayner-West. Ali Rayner-West dies... Cyborg Doomsday punches Hunter Rayner... Hunter Rayner dies... Steel Doomsday punches Alexandra Dewitt... Alexandra Dewitt dies...

(Do not forget that you are supposed to be reading in a generic robot voice)... (Human voices do not compute for this story)...

Vampire Hal Jordan bites Doomslayer very hard. Doomslayer dies... Cyborg Doomsday and Steel Doomsday punch Hal Jordan... Hal Jordan dies... Randy Couture shoots Pepper Potts harder than she shoots him... Pepper Potts dies... Cyborg Doomsday punches Evan Sabahnur... Evan Sabahnur dies... Steel Doomsday punches Maggot... Maggot dies... Slym Dayspring shoots Randy Couture... Randy Couture dies... Red Dayspring uses mental powers to overload brain of Cyborg Doomsday... Cyborg Doomsday has cyborg back-up system with counter-measures... Cyborg Doomsday dies... Red Dayspring dies... Slym Dayspring gets mad... Metroplex steps on Slym Dayspring... Slym Dayspring dies... Nightcrawler teleports... Nightcrawler hits Steel Doomsday with sword... Steel Doomsday punches Nightcrawler... Nightcrawler dies... Metroplex burns foot... Because Metroplex stepped on Heat Man... Heat Man dies...

Mickey Mouse Grindhouse News...

We here at Fantasy Fantasy League are proud to announce that our own Chris Seeney and his wife have welcomed into the world their second child and first daughter, Norah Rene Seeney. Norah was born on March 28th at 11:09pm and weighing in at 7 lbs 14 oz.

Congratulations go out to the undoubtedly proud parents.

Enough politics...

I call it "#1 Overall Draft Pick." HAHAHA.

Week Five Schedule

Reminder: All rosters will be due by Monday Night, April 1. The fifth week will be for 900 points and set on the Play-off Planet, which is basically an all terrain setting . The winner of each match will earn 45 Graveyard Points.

The Match-Ups:

The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers (Robimus Prime)
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. Layanderlett's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (NFG)
The Shemalabama Shit Kickers Vs. The Royal Highness (Seeney)
Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. TEAM (Fizz)
President Barack Obama and Taylor Swift's Red Army Vs. Griswold's Nut-Busters (Griffin)
George Washington's Slaves Vs. Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve (Edwin the Bard)
The Empire Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies (Josh)
The Transfoamers Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Josh)

As always, Watcher emails are listed on the main page.  Teams with a guest Watcher should email their rosters to Josh. Thank you, and good luck to all!

Deadline change

I'd like to propose before the league a change to the deadline for submitting rosters. I'd like to change it from Monday night to Tuesday night.  That will give teams an extra day to read their match from a previous week and make decision based on what transpired before. However, this extra day would also come with a price. I say starting week 6, if you do not have a roster submitted by Tuesday night, you will be playing your week one squad. It's not an automatic loss, but it's a severe disadvantage. I realize that week 9 is only 75 points, and will have to come up with something for that but in the meantime I think this is a tough but fair penalty.

Speaking as both a Watcher and an owner, I'm voting yes for this proposal. Not only because it'd be nice to have some more time to read other matches, and not just my own before I submit my rosters, but because it's not fair for people who miss the deadline to not be penalized in anyway. I'm not pointing fingers, or naming names but if you were late turning in assignments for school or work you're penalized. This is the same. Not one is here by gunpoint, you elected to do this, so you should be held to the same rules as everyone else.

As with the weapons vote, my vote is no more powerful than anyone else's. Majority will rule.

Thank you for your time.

Spoiler Sport- Week Three Wrap Up.

Greetings, loyal Ocho viewers. I'm ESPN 8 president Jack Tunney. Recently, we've had a situation arise here at our plucky little station. It turns out that written in the fine print of current Spoiler Sport host Zack Ryder's contract is a provision that he cannot appear on a live, weekly broadcast for more than two weeks in a row without getting brutally attacked by some sort of monster. For proof of this see his "feud" with Kane last year. To remedy this situation, we've gone into extensive negotiations to fulfill this contractual obligation and am pleased to report a deal has been finalized. We now take you to the NEW HOST OF SPOILER SPORT!

Greetings everyone, Cotton McKnight FINALLY BACK once more with your weekly FFL wrap up "Spoiler Sport", right here! On ESPN 8-The Ocho. Before we get to the recaps, I just gotta say it feels fantastic  to be right back where I belong. Broadcasting at the Ocho. Best of luck to Mr Zack Ryder at his new home at the Mickey Mouse Grindhouse.

Week three was quite the wet and wild affair out there in the core of Naboo. Let's start in the Lucas Conference. We saw the Arthur C Clarke division just narrowly avoid getting swept once again this week by the Spielberg division. It was the plucky Transfoamers, who had quite the upset over the Mickey Mouse Grindhouse this week in a match unlike which I've ever seen. Though they're in different divisions, both the Midgets and the Empire can boast a very unique accolade this week- both teams were able to kill a version of Superman. The Midgets stopped the gravy coated heart of Kingdome Come or KFC Superman, while one of the Empire's newest, most impressive recruits- Black Zero- has the blood of the original Kal-El on his hands.  The Empire might have lost, but I wouldn't count them out just yet. Finally, according to a withered, old Atlantean journal we learned the harrowing, tragic tale of the Slaves heartbreaking loss to the Shit-Kickers. The Shit-Kickers AND The Horsemen are the only two teams in the Lucas Conference to remain absolutely perfect. It'll be interesting to see how long they'll still be able to swat their gum as they spit it out this season.

Over in the Stan Lee conference, we saw Super Orange Kitty Mr Eugene Krabs just barely beat the rap of numerous war crimes, as his squadron of familial seeking felines put a blemish on TEAM's impressive record this year. The Nut-Busters learned that you should never mess with a Sleeping Pussy, as it was going for a victory beverage that busted the hopes of victory for Griswold. The Royal Highness learned the hardway that you need both dope fiends AND destroyers as Griffin was able to wreck their buzz. Finally, thanks to the final sacrifice of Calypso, the Kennelz were able to extend their perfect start to 3-0 with a win over the Muderflies.

To check on the status of the resurrection pit, let's kick it over to my broadcast partner, PEPPER BROOKS.

PEPPER!

"muhmuh muh muhhmuh. Muh muh muh muh muh,

Muh muh muhmuh muh. muhmuh muh muhhmuh. Muh muh muh muh muh muhmuh muh muhhmuh. Muh muh muh. Muh muh muhmuh muh muhhmuh. Muh muh muh muh muh muhmuh muh muhhmuh. Muh muh muh muh muh

 Muhmuh muh muhhmuh. Muh muh muh muh muh muhmuh muh muhhmuh. Muh muh muh muh muh muhmuh muh muhhmuh. Muh muh muh muh muh

Muh muh muhmuhmuh. Muhmuh."

... Thanks, Pep. Good to have you back here too.

That's it for this week, join us next week for week four as we head to the artic. We'll find out what's colder, the icy, frozen icecaps or the icy grip of DEATH. For the Ocho- I'm Cotton McKnight. Thank you, and good night.

Season Six Week Three Standings & Resurrection Points

Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve

Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies are Aang, Katara, Sokka, The Lochness Monster, Opee Sea Killers #1-5, and The Shark.

Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Oceanus, Tethys, Calypso, Nerkkod: Breaker of Oceans/combined with Nightsister Sith Witch #1, and Marko Aleksandrovich Ramius w/ Navy SEAL Chief #14 and 15 and Navy SEAL #45-50 in The Red October.

DAMMIT!! Watching this match last minute and in the middle of the night again!! Just trying to get stuff done all week long and it never happens. Trying to keep the universe afloat and it's always me that ends up sinking. Chasing screaming Super-Kitties all over my house all weekend and just never have time to get done the important stuff. AND WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY BONGO!! I just had this damn thing detailed and now it's out of gas and reaks of cheap beer, cheep weed, and cheep Gungan. Next time I see The Neon Master Bozo, he's getting a couple of swift kicks to each one of his nuts. But anyway, let's get down to the Watching. The Planet Core is going crazy with The Murderflies “Bending” the Hell out of the water and Calypso fighting back by causing more waves than a retiring pope. Calypso then wraps a mystical shroud around The Shark cutting off his movement and in essence drowning him before he can get close enough to attack. The Nightsister, aside from “breaking the ocean”, is using her now god-like reinforced powers of empathy to control Nessie and and The Opee Sea Killers in an attempt to use them against The Murderflies, but Katara puts a water shield around herself, in essence turning herself into a human water torpedo and rockets straight through The Breaker of Oceans. This puts everything back in to balance and creates an extremely pitched battle between both teams (Ha, now I'm stealing Becks' line to describe the entire story!! Beat that one Ryan... Oh that's right, he's retired too (damn, I still need to start the internet campaign to get those two back, another damn thing to take up my time)). The Opee Sea Killers and Nessie start swarming The Red October, while Aang starts mixing it up with Calypso, Katara battles with the Old Woman of the Sea Tethys, and Sokka gets stuck with the embodiment of the Sea himself Oceanus. “Minor gods my A**” is the quote I most likely would have heard from The Water Benders if I could here anything through this air tight Bongo (other than the FM Soundtrack, which I can't get out of the CD Player). These battles rage on for quite some time without either side gaining the upper hand, but then my day weekend really get ruined. The two sides begin stirring up the planet core so fiercely, that my bongo gets punctured and the electric system goes on the fritz. I mean come on, I got: MONSTERS OUT THERE, LEAKIN IN HERE, ALL SINKIN AND NO POWER!! I begin to lose control of Una Bongo and then barely manage to make it to an out cropping where I pop out on to the Naboo shore. “DAMMIT!! Now I've got to try and fix this thing so I can get back down there and finish watching this match. Like I wanted to spend more time wrenching on this thing”. I then find out, that the reason the electrical system is all screwed up is because of that a** the Neon Master Pogo and all of his after market bulls**t, that punk is dead as soon as I am done with this match. An hour goes by, and I am making no progress at all with this piece of Gungan made crap (next time I am totally buying American). Then, all of the sudden Navy SEAL #47 comes popping out of the same hole that my bongo came out of. He's soaking wet and all banged up. He's shaking his head trying to get rid of the dizzies when I ask walk up to him. “What the hell are you doing up here”? I ask. The Navy SEAL begins to tell me what he knows and says: “All I can tell you is what Calypso told me. She all of the sudden appeared inside The Red October where she pulled me into my private quarters”. I interrupt: “That's hot, did you hit that”? The SEAL answers: “Hells yeah Cousin”!! “Sweet, for real” I respond. “Ehhh, no not really” he says (everybody thinks that you can't lie to a watcher... If they only knew). Anyways, back to what the sailor was saying. “She said that although Oceanus and Tethys are gods, they are not fighters by nature and that they can be defeated and eventually would be by such heroes as were sent out by The Murderflies. She then informed me that The Red October could no longer take much abuse from the sea creatures, and that it would eventually not just sink, but when it does eventually go down that the nuclear reactor on board would rupture and it would take out everybody. She said that her godlike powers gave her the foresight to see this and that it would be “The Creature from Lochness” who would eventually deliver the killing blow and who would be her demise and exit from the world of Fantasy Fantasy”. But she said that she was eternally loyal to The Kennelz, and she said that she knew I was too. Which I am sir, I would do anything for my team and my teammates. She said she could make sure that we at least won the match even if she couldn't stop the destruction of our water squad, by getting one of us out of the planet core all together. Evidently that one person was me. She grabbed me by the shoulders and threw me with so much force that I thought I was just going to splatter on the wall of the sub; but then things got all fuzzy and I went right through the steel walls and started rocketing through the water. I saw a huge bright flash, which I thought meant I was dead; but then a few seconds later I popped out on the surface and the first thing I saw when I came to was you. At first I thought you were God or something”. This is when I smirk and say: “Ha, yeah. I get that a lot”.

George Washington's Slaves Vs. Shemalabam's Shit Kickers

Season 6 Week 2: George Washington's Slaves Vs. Shemalabama Shit Kickers
The Slaves are: The Hydra, Tigersharks (Octavia, Mako, Orka, Waltro, Dolph, Angel, Dog Fish),
Mer-man, Jaws2, Capt. Crunch w/S.S. Guppy, S.U.R.F. (Sharkskin, Eel, Undertow), Trojan Man
w/Ferengi Energy Whip, Bill Clinton w/green lightsaber, and Black Lantern Superman.
The Shit Kickers are: Aquaman, Aqualad(9 deaths), Topo, Fathom Five (Bloodtide, Dragon
Rider, Llyron, Manowar, Sea Leopard) Black Widow Shark, 2 headed shark, Clawful, and the
Sando Aqua Monster.

The personal Diary of Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch.
Captain's Log: Day 1. We have appeared in the watery core of planet Naboo, aboard the S.S.
Guppy. The crew and I are here to battle the Shit Kickers, first and foremost, although I have
ulterior motives. The earthly garden of Crunchberries is finite, so I must always be scouting for
a new supply. I will play these games if it means that I never have to see a world without my
delicious cereal. I have a hale and hearty crew, and first mate Bill Clinton has kept their spirits
high. I sense a bountiful journey.
Captain's Log: Day 2. Some of the fisherman have caught a rare specimen! It is the oft rumored
2 Headed Shark. We were dismayed to find our teammate Jaws 2 within the beast, but our spirits
were soon elated. While we posed for a photo with the oddity, it's death spasm caused it to bite Eel
clean in half. We were sorry to lose a member of the team, but his manner of death was so absurd,
even Black Lantern Superman chuckled a bit.
Captain's Log: Day 5. We are making good progress toward the legendary underwater Gungan
Crunchberries. Nothing of note has happened, save a lively debate between Bill Clinton and
Trojan man. Most have sided with Clinton, although Trojan Man garnered many laughs by
cracking his energy whip any time Hillary was mentioned.
Captain's Log: Day 7. Today began wonderfully as we have reached one of our destinations. I
sent the Tigersharks team to gather the Crunchberries below the surface. Unfortunately, I have
underestimated the guile of our opponents. They must be aware of my motives, as the Shit Kickers
planned an ambush. Clawful and the feared Black Widow shark were waiting for us, and many
of the Tigersharks were killed. Only Mako and Dolph survived. They were avenged when Mer-
man destroyed Clawful, and I sent my trident through the heart of the Black Widow shark myself.
Tragedy was not through with the S.S. Guppy just yet. While the crew posed with the body of the
mythic Black Widow shark, S.U.R.F. member Sharkskin was decapitated by the death spasm of
the Black Widow shark. I must remember to tighten the regulations of crew/trophy photos.
Captain's Log: Day 8. We have stowed the remaining Crunchberries and are looking to depart
shortly. I have plotted a course to the "Isle of Deliciousness", as we are eager to secure another
plentiful haul.
Captain's Log: Day 14. Today begin with an attack by The Fathom Five. Llyron, Sea Leopard,
and Manowar boarded my ship. I question the wisdom, but applaud their bravery. Mako and
Dolph eliminated Llyron and Sea Leopard, with vengeance for their fallen teammates guiding
their fury. Manowar vanquished Mako and Dolph by enveloping them. What a strange being! He
was pacified by Trojan Man with his Ferengi energy whip, in concert with a blast of Arctic breath
from Black Lantern Superman. An appearance by the Hydra was most unwelcomed, as it has been
controlled by the mystic conch shell of Dragon Rider. Trojan Man was eaten whole by the Hydra.
Black Lantern Superman ended the threat by destroying Dragon Rider with a chest opening heart
punch. No longer controlled, the Hydra swam back below the waters. If mythical beasts can feel
shame, I'm sure it does now in spades. Strange that a group called Fathom Five only used four
members in it's brazen assault. Was this simply a ruse of some kind?
Captain's Log: Day 25. My suspicions were correct. We have been driven off course by the water
witch Bloodtide. We only discovered this after we sent S.U.R.F. member Undertow to correct
the tides in our favor. As she floated to the surface dead, Mer-man dove in and quickly ended our
threat when he returned with the corpse of Bloodtide. No trophy photo was attempted, but Bill
Clinton took her body below deck for what he described as a "proper burial."
Captain's Log: Day 30. With supplies dwindling, as well as my crew, this day required a morale
upliifting unlike any other. I reported that we were back on track and making excellent progress.
This helped, but the true victory was a "Clash of the Titans" that few mortals could ever claim
to witness. The Hydra ran afoul of the dreaded Sando Aqua Monster and it consumed the Hydra
whole. Hours later, the Sando Monster floated by the ship dead, as the Hydra emerged from within

the beast. It had chewed its way out of the monster, destroying many vital organs that lay in its
path. It appears that the Sando Aqua Monster is not well versed in mythology, nor the proper way
to kill a Hydra. I, however, and now fully versed in cooking said monster. With bellies full and
spirits high, our quest continues with renewed vigor.
Captain's Log: Day 35. Aquaman's pet octopus Topo was found aboard our ship. It is my
instinct that he has been spying on us for quite some time. That would explain the ambush at the
underwater Crunchberry fields, as well as the Fathom Five's precision strike. It was a cunning
creature, even managing to strangle Mer-man to death before I killed it with my mighty Trident. I
have decorated the front of my ship with it's corpse as a message to the sea king.
Captain's Log: Day 36. My message to Aquaman was quickly noted and responded to in kind.
His protege Aqualad arrived riding a mentally overtaken Hydra. As the Hydra has been enthralled
twice, I made the risky decision to eliminate it, as well as the young Atlantean. Black Lantern
Superman flew straight through the necks of the Hydra removing them all quickly. He then used
heat vision, cauterizing the wounds and destroying the creature. He then made short work of
Aqualad, ripping his heart out with one fluid motion. Unfortunately, the Hydra blood covered
Black Lantern was the next to fall. The blood's ability to strip life is not limited to immortals only,
but to the unead as well. He dissolved from existence along with this ring. With my crew reduced
to one man, I fear that my madness may have doomed us all.
Captain's Log: Day 40. The sea itself seems against us, but I will not be defeated so easily.
Captain's Log: Day 50. We have run aground, essentially destroying the S.S. Guppy, but it is
worth it. We have reached the "Isle of Deliciousness". It has cost us much, but Bill Clinton and I
agree that lives were not lost in vain. We are both certain that the motherload of Crunchberries is
worth many more souls then we have given. The only thing to do now is gather our prize, secure
transport, and send Aquaman straight to hell.

Watchers note: this diary was found in my mailbox, bound in whaleskin and stamped with
the Seal of Atlantis.

Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers Vs. The Royal Highness

Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers are Poseidon, Triton, Killer Kroc, David Hasslehoff, King Godirah, Shark With Freakin Laser Beams #1-3, Opee Sea Killer #9, Sharkticon #11, Eric Delko, and The Monkguin.

The Royal Highness is Yoda, Q, The Phantom Stranger, Black Lantern Josh Houslander, The Deep Six: Attuma, Nagal, Orka, Pirahna, Sea Urchin, and Tiger Shark, and The Kraken.


Sup sup sup y' all, Neon Master Pogo here chillin in this tricked out Bongo I picked up so I could come at you with this wicked match between The Highness and The Dope Fiends. In honor of these two teams meeting, I naturally just burnt a fatty, which is always awesome in something as air tight as a bongo. By the way this bongo was nice before, but now it's rockin some leopard print seat covers, an 8 track player that I put a cassette adapter 8 track in with a wired cassette adapter in it that I plugged a C.D. Player in to so I could listen to the FM Soundtrack that I burned off of my Lp at home over and over again. I just installed one of those licorice dispensers like in Wayne's World and riveted some of those Yosemite Sam mudflaps on the back, along with my Calvin pissing on Honda sticker in the back window. This is the life man, I got a couple of tall boys of Natural Ice, some Funyuns, I even conned this banished Gungan in to driving this thing for me so I can just focus on nothing but the match (and the Funyuns). But anyway, let's look at these two powerhouses and what they are about to do. I snap my fingers, and all of the sudden, both teams appear in front of me right here in the dark and scary (unless you're in a gnarly bongo) Naboo Planet Core. Yoda begins gasping for air, the second they appear, but luckily Q puts a field of oxygen around him to save his life. The Dope Fiends do not have anybody on their squad with such power, so Eric Delko, The Monkguin, and David Hasslehoff all begin to gasp for air and die. The three of them do manage to pick up three women and get all of them in the sack before they go do to their suave nature and amazing looks, but they die none the less. King Godirah turns thousands of gallons of water in to a boiling gas with his powers as well, but it still isn't enough from drowning the beast in the pressurized waters of the planet core. The same goes for Killer Kroc, accept he does manage to hold his breath long enough to rip apart the blue skin of Orka and make him join the Krocster in death. Yoda is using the force from within his oxygen bubble to hold back The Dope Fiends, keeping the heavy fighting from even taking place yet, but Poseidon is discussing the potential format of the battle with Q. Poseidon informs Q, that he is the master of the sea and that he does in fact have dominion over all that enter it, and the power to destroy him, despite the massive cosmic power that he does in fact wield. Q analyzes this data and comes to the conclusion that the Greek god is in fact correct. Q then decides to save the time and potentially destructive effort and allows his own destruction. This also eliminates the oxygen bubble. Yoda does not struggle at all after this, as he uses his mastery of the force to calm his mind and body. He gains complete control of his surroundings and attains total peace, but it is not enough to save his life. Yoda drowns. In the meantime, The Phantom Stranger is having no problem adapting to life underwater, but he does have time adapting to Triton's mystical trident buried in his face, in fact this act kills him instantly. The sharks with freakin laser beams inadvertantly shoot through the watery fog power left behind by King Godirah. This mix of powers is enough to take out Black Lantern Josh Houslander. This is welcomed by the members of The Royal Highness due to the fact that Josh hasn't stopped whining about how cold the water is since the second they mystically appeared here (what a b^%ch). Sharkticon #11, a FFL water veteran has seen many a water match, and easily takes on both Piranha and Sea Urchin. The two members of Attuma's Deap Six Special Force work together, but are still no match for the Transformer. The Sharkticon easily consumes the mutated fish known as Piranha and and uses its metal claws to slice in half Sea Urchin, but the former agent of The Quintasons meets his match when he is grabbed by The Kraken and crushed into a Cybertronian Metal ball. Poseidon then moves against The Kraken as the two become locked in an epic battle of brawn vs. might of godly proportions. Attuma then leads what is left of his Deep Six against the three laser beam aided sharks. Shark #2 manages to bite up Nagal; but Attuma and Tiger Shark get the better end of their matches and then turn on the final shark and each grab an end, eventually ripping the fish in two. Though there is little time for celebration as Opee Sea Killer #1 takes full advanteage of his home field, and comes out of nowhere to swallow both of the water warriors whole. Triton joins up with Poseidon in his battle against The Kraken but the minor god is grabbed by The Kraken and then made a into a quick snack by the beast as he bites his head of first and then begins to feast on the rest of him. Poseidon on the other hand does not rest for a second as he uses this moment to swim quickly underneath the Kraken and push his Kingly Trident up under the chin of the massive beast to finish him off once and for all.

Brotherhood vs Red Army

The Brotherhood of evil midgets are… Qwsp, Megalon, Squirtle, Charybidis, Sharkticon #33-38, Namorita, Namora, Treasure Troll #1

The Red Army is Gungan Soldier #11-50, Darth Binks, Miss Tanner w/Red Lantern Ring (Witch from the movie Suspiria), Madame Blanc w/Yellow Lantern Ring (Witch from the movie Suspiria), Helena Markos w/Red Lantern Ring (Suspiria Witch Coven Leader), Suspiria Witch Coven Member #1 w/Indigo Ring, KFC Superman, Tenderheart Bear , Taylor Swift w/Sith Lanvarok

The two teams are transported to the naboo planet core via cosmic waterslide. Once in the water Charybidis makes the first kill by taking out all the gungan’s including Darth Binks . The witches repel qwsp for a moment, but because it takes all their combined strength to keep Qwsp at bay, their backs are vulnerable. Six mean a** Sharkticon’s swim up and devour the out of place witches. Taylor Swift is too busy trying to look sexy and break away from her squeaky clean, kid friendly, image to notice that that Charybidis has already consumed her and just like the sarlac pit she will be digestive a thousand years. Not sure if that’s gonna affect her eligibility for next week but will see. Squirtle and Treasure Troll #1 corner Tenderheart bear, the two scoundrels laugh and smile as they close in on the cowering bear pleading for its life.

Tenderheart: please please please Don’t KILL ME!! I’ll do anything. I’ll suck your d**k’s, come on boys Whada ya say. Haaha you know they don’t call me Tenderheart for nothing.

The two evil midgets look at each one another and shrug their shoulders, then start pulling down their pants. Treasure troll # 1 grabs the back of tenderhearts head and pulls him close. That’s when tenderheart Pulls a shank out from his heart shaped backpack and stabs treasure troll #1 in the balls then in the Neck. Squirtle is literally caught with his pants down and is stomped to death by the angry bear.

KFC Superman finally shows up with his bucket of chicken and side of gravy. Qwsp swims up and knocks his gravy over.

KFC Superman: Hey that’s not cool man, that s**t don’t grow on trees man!

KFC Superman takes a deep breath and then a very slow labored swing at Qwsp, He counters with a kick to the body and a series of uppercuts that floor the colonel’s favorite son. Qswp follows up by snapping his neck.