Alice’s Wonder Team vs. The Abomitrons

I have been appointed by my brethren Joshatu and Ryatu to watch the following Year 2, Week 3 Match: Alice’s Wonder Team vs. The Abomitrons.

Before the match I look to an island in the Atlantic Ocean; it is filled with palm trees and waterfalls. It is the locker room for Alice’s Wonder Team. The Team is General Zod, Non, Hyperion, SSJ4 Gogeta, Sharkticon #11-17, Surtur, Joruus C'Boath, War Machine and Goblin #26.

Zod: Let us make this quick. I have a press junket to appear at – after we go 3-0, that is.

Sharkticon # 16: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! A press junket for Zod! A press junket for Zod!

War Machine: Lock and load, brother!

Goblin: Arrgha! Oooompherie! [Translation: I cannot swim].

I then look to a small archipelago, only one mile away from Team’s island. The small land masses are banded together by sandbars; it is the locker room for The Abomitrons. The Abomitrons are Leviathan, Mario & Luigi, Sebastian the Crab, Phineas & Ferb w/ Perry, Abin Sur, Horri-bull and Kreb, Naboo Soldier #1-20, Cyborg Superman, Batman and Robin (Dick Grayson), Chuck Norris, Yaddle w/ Jedi Padawan #33, Jedi Knight #36 and Hancock.

Chuck Norris: I am Chuck Norris. I am a warrior.

Hancock: That’s what I’m saying Chuck! Let’s rock!

Sebastian: I am ready for battle; claws and all!

Naboo Solider # 2 [whispers to Naboo Solider # 7]: If the crab dies, I get dibs on the meat.

Since the teams are in close proximity to one another I do not need to teleport them. I simply announce: LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!!!! The battle commences. . . .

On the Islands. . .

Zod picks up Goblin #26 and SSJ4 Gogeta. Non picks up Joruus. The Kryptonians bring their teammates to the Abomitrons’ location and drop them off in various areas of the sandbars’ shallow waters. Hyperion and War Machine, without carrying anyone, also take to the air.

As Gogeta and Goblin #26 are dropped off, they are met by the Abomitrons: Mario and Luigi, and Phineas and Ferb. Goblin, although hesitant in the shallow waters, still sees that he can quickly dispatch of his prey. Thus, the Tolkien monster lunges at Phineas and Ferb. The duo is quickly ripped apart by the Goblin’s ferocity. As the Goblin focuses on Mario and Luigi, it feels an extreme pain in its lower extremities. The pain comes from Perry, who is tearing at the Goblin’s left foot and Sebastian who is clawing the Goblin’s left foot. The Goblin, off balance, falls in the water.

Goblin: Waroo! Tombaka! [Translation: Can I get a little help here, please?]

Gogeta steps in on the action. He quickly smashes Sebastian under his foot, twists and jumps up, using the crustacean as a springboard. Gogeta then comes down with such force that he buries Perry’s head in the sand, killing the small mammal.

The Goblin rises from the shallow water and is faced by Norris, who comes upon the scene.

Norris: Sebastian was a close friend of Chuck Norris. You made Chuck Norris very angry. [Norris takes off his shirt. His perfect body glistens in the Ocean’s salty breeze]. Now, you shall die!

Norris begins doing a bunch of moves in preparation for his battle with Goblin #26. Just as he is ready to fight, Sharkticons # 11-17 spring out of the water and rip the icon apart.

Mario: Robotic-

Luigi: Land Sharks!!!

Mario and Luigi attempt to run away from the Sharkticons, but are too slow. The Sharkticons make mincemeat of the Mario Brothers.

As the Sharkticons look for other prey, Joruus is dropped off by Non. Joruus ignites his lightsaber and manages to destroy Sharkticons # 11-13 and 16. Yaddle, Jedi Padawan #33 and Jedi Knight #36 approach the cloned Jedi Master. Although Joruus is skilled, he has the arrogance of the original Jorus, which will be his downfall.

Joruus: I will take all of you on. . . at the same time, no less[motions with hand for the Abomitrons to enter combat].

The lightsaber wielders begin a furious match, showing both the skills and determination of the combatants. Although Joruus manages to kill Padawan #33 and Knight #36, Yaddle is victorious and kills the clone.

Back to the Sharkticons. . .

The Sharkticons are met by Horri-bull and Kreb. The Transformer headmaster bull monster manages to destroy Sharkticons #14 and 15. As the headmaster is about to finish Sharkticon #17, War Machine and Hyperion use all of their weapons and abilities on the Transformer and destroy it. Machine and Hyperion then fly away.

Sharkticon #17 runs and meets up with Goblin #26.

Sharkticon #17: Get on my back and we will swim away to recoup our strength!

Goblin #26: Yamdeero! Uffreay! Arrgha! Oooompherie! [Translation: I said it before. I’ll say it again. I cannot swim!].

Sharkticon knows that he will keep Goblin #26 safe whether the beast can swim or not. It knows that to survive, they must leave now. Sharkticon grabs Goblin #26 and jumps in the water. . . straight into the mouth of the Leviathan, which has been watching and waiting for its prey. The Transformer and Goblin do not notice they have gone into the beast’s mouth until it is too late.

Goblin #26: Boorew! Huatha! Nontotha! [Translation: This is a fine mess you have gotten us into!]

Goblin #26 and Sharkitcon slowly head to their deaths in the Leviathan’s stomach.

Archipelago Beach. . .

Gogeta is still on the small islets. He attempts to signal one of his teammates in the air to get him off of the island since there are too many enemies still remaining. Before he can be flown off the shore, he is met with Naboo Soldiers #1-20. The Soldiers all have their weapons drawn. Although Gogeta manages to take out Naboo Soldiers #1, 4-8 and 12-17, the remaining Soldiers manage to shoot and kill Gogeta. After Gogeta’s death, the sand underneath the Soldiers’ feet bursts forth. Surtur, the huge fire demon, rises from the ground. He has barreled his way underneath the shore from his island to the isles. Surtur smiles and easily dispels of all remaining Naboo Soldiers, being Naboo Soldiers # 2,3, 9-11, and 18-20. Thus, all Naboo are now dead.

Yaddle, along with Batman and Robin, face Surtur. Yaddle ignites his lightsaber and Batman and Robin unleash all of their bat weapons on the demon. Although the demon is injured by their efforts, Surtur uses its magical abilities to finish off Yaddle, Batman and Robin. As Surtur turns around to focus his attention on his other enemies, the Leviathan comes out of the water. Like the Sharkticons’ surprise earlier on Chuck Norris, the Leviathan surprises Surtur and manages to get a hold of Surtur. The Leviathan carries Surtur to the icy depths of the Atlantic Ocean; Surtur, steam rising, perishes.

Above the Isles. . .

The match has come down to the heavyweights. For the Abomitrons are Leviathan, Cyborg Superman, Abin Sur and Hancock. For Alice’s Wonder Team are General Zod, Non, Hyperion and War Machine.

War Machine focuses on Abin Sur. War Machine unleashes a volley of missiles, which Sur manages to block using his Lantern ring. Sur then creates a large hammer which strikes War Machine and causes him to plummet to the icy waters below. Before War Machine hits the water, the Leviathan springs forth and opens its mouth. War Machine is swallowed whole. He will join his teammates in the Leviathan’s belly.

Inside the Leviathan. . .

Sharkticon #17: Hey, War Machine joins us!!!

Goblin #26: Viejo! Decoct! Omnis! [Translation: He joins us in death. . . you sardine can!

In the air. . .

Hyperion and Hancock are in a sky fight. Hancock manages to “throw down” with Hyperion for a lengthy period of time. Nonetheless, Hyperion eventually gets the upper hand by using his freezing breath on Hancock. Hancock, momentarily unable to move, is then struck by Non in the head. The force of the blow crushes Hancock’s skull. Hancock falls to the waters below, dead.

Surface of water. . .

Zod and Non are in a pitched battle with the Leviathan. Although the Leviathan is a formidable beast, it is no match for the Krypton Ian duo. Zod and Non use their heat vision to burn holes in the Leviathan’s skin. The Leviathan, sensing that the two are too much of a match for it, dives into the icy waters. Zod and Non follow the beast and use their frost breath to freeze the Leviathan in a block of ice. The block of ice sinks the Leviathan to the bottom of the ocean where it dies.

In the air. . .

Non and Zod burst from the waters and are met by Cyborg Superman and Abin Sur. Abin Sur uses his ring to encase Non. Although the encasement does not last long, it is enough time for Cyborg Superman to strike Non. Non hurtles to the water. Cyborg Superman follows and is relentless in his crushing blows to the Phantom Zonian. Eventually, Cyborg Superman does enough damage to Non that his heart stops. Non dies.

Hyperion joins the fray. Thus, it is now Zod and Hyperion against Cyborg Superman and Abin Sur. Sur manages to deflect the repeated blows of Zod, but only for so long. Zod eventually gets the better of the Lantern and kills him. Hyperion and Zod then gang up on Cyborg Superman. Although it takes close to an hour of relentless bloodletting, Cyborg Superman is eventually killed by the two “supermen.”


The Abomitrons: All dead.
Alice’s Wonder Team: General Zod and Hyperion alive.

ALICE’S WONDER TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!!!