Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve Vs. Team S.P.

Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are:
Young Jedi Knight #1, Samurai 1,2,3,4,5, and 6, and Jenna Jameson

Team S.P. are:
Kang the conqueror, The Flash (Jay Garrick), and Spiderwoman

The lush home world of the Wookies echoes with the distant sounds of combat.

High above the wroshyr trees the din of the fighting below fades away and you can hear… bickering?

“Why on earth should I listen to you? You’re just some fruitcake quasi Buddhist with a laser sword?” said Jenna, mocking the Young Jedi Knight who was, until then, successfully organizing the 6 samurai.

“At least I’m not wearing clear acrylic high heels to a showdown with Kang the friggin Conqueror!” responded the Jedi Knight struggling to keep his emotions in check.

“Oh please,” retorted Jenna, “He’s just a dude, he doesn’t even have any super powers. Besides! You’ve got your spooky space magic or whatever you call it… Why are we on top of this rock anyway?”

“This, is the Korrokrrayyo Mountain, it is the highest point on this planet and will give us a clear tactical adva…”

Just then, a flash of sunlight glinted up from the Forrest floor below. It seemed too far away to worry about so the Jedi Knight went back to organizing the Samurai and going over sword techniques.

Meanwhile at the foot of the mountain the flash had returned to his team. “I’ve begun the diversion. My helmet is hung in a tree and should reflect enough sunlight to distract them every few minutes. It should keep them from noticing what we’re doing until it’s too late.”

“Excellent!” said Kang, “Continue this level of performance and maybe your precious Joan will live to see another day!”

“You Bastard I ought to…” began Jay.

“Enough!” exclaimed Spiderwoman. “I don’t like this any more than you do Flash, but we’re stuck here. So let’s move.”

With that the battle was joined, Kang and Spiderwoman had snuck around the mountain to the side opposite Jay’s flashing helmet and were preparing for the climb when 3 Samurai surprised them.

The surprise was understandable, because all three arrived at terminal velocity.
The bodies slammed into Kang narrowly missing Spiderwoman.

Kang lay dead at the foot of the mountain, the crumpled bodies of the three samurai, lying motionless around him.

Jay had vibrated through the side of the mountain just in time to witness the death of Kang.
“What do we do now Jessica?” he asked.

“Code names only in the field Flash, it’s Spiderwoman, and those jerks almost killed me. I intend to head up the mountain and find out what the hell is going on up there. For all we know those idiots are throwing these samurai at us on purpose…”

Back on the top of the mountain, Jenna was noticeably upset. “Look! It’s not my fault they got distracted and fell! All I was doing is buckling my shoe back up. It was loose!”

The Jedi knight was about to respond when he stopped suddenly. “I sense a disturban…” his sentence was cut short, his lightsaber flashed into action and he moved to block a red streak that was coming at him.

Unfortunately for the Jedi, Jay Garrick was able to vibrate at the exact frequency required to pass through the plasma in the swords blue blade. The Flash’s flattened hand struck the young Jedi’s trachea at super sonic speed, cracking it and nearly severing his head, leaving him in a crumpled heap.

The three remaining Samurai moved in, shoulder to shoulder, screaming in unison and drawing their swords. Spiderwoman finshed her ascent up the mountain in time to parry the outside two of the samurai blades and fire a venom blast of bio-electric energy at the third central samurai, stopping his sword in mid swing. The two remaining samurai, suffering from the intoxicating effects of Spiderwoman’s pheromones, attacked Jenna Jameson who had moved in to shove Jay Garrick off the mountain.

Jenna attempted to dodge the attacks but her ridiculous acrylic heels proved to be her downfall...
literally.

In a complete loss of balance, her hands searching for purchase, she managed to grab the armor of the remaining samurai. Unfortunately for them, they lacked the leverage to stop her fall or prevent their own. They all tumbled down the mountain together landing in a heap on top of the other samurai and the body of Kang the conqueror.

“Heh! What are the odds of that!?” said Jay. “They all landed in the same pile!”

“Yeah, weird… lets go home and see if we can free your wife from that time-machine trap Kang felt the need to put her in before this whole thing started.” Responded Jessica.

The Kennelz? All Deceased.
Team SP: Untouched with the exception of Kang.
Team S.P. Is Victorious!