TEAM Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips

TEAM is Solaris: The Tyrant Sun, Michael Demiurgos, Black Lantern Dave Bowman, Black Lantern Agent Smith, The Justice Legion Alpha: Superman, Batman w/ Robin The Toy Wonder, Wonder Woman, Flash, Aquaman, Starman, Hourman, The Atom, & Resurrection Man, The Shining Force: Max, Luke, Gort, Tao, Anri, Alef, Domingo, Torre, Diane, Kris, Gong, Ken, Mae, Arthur, Edward, Pelle, Lyle, Amon, Zylo, Hanzou, & Musashi, Luuke Skywalker, Trioculus, Galactiac, Iron Lantern, Thanoseid, Thorion, Cronos, Billy Mitchell, Steve Sanders, Bill Kelly (w/ a blue lightsaber), & Roy "Mr. Awesome" Shildt.

The Horsemen of Apokolips are Plo Koon in a Mig, Superboy Prime, Flamebird, Nightwing, Phoenix, Scar, Hal Jordan/Parallax (w/ 2 green lantern rings, a red lantern ring, & a yellow lantern ring), Black Lantern Thanos, Hope Summers, X-Man/Nate Grey, The Joker, The Destroyer, Archangel, Starscream, Tripticon, Eternity, Exitar the Exterminator, Luke Skywalker: Grand Jedi Master, Tommy Oliver: The Green Ranger, Larry Reamer (w/ a green lightsaber), The Shining Force: Mini-Pipes, Live-Wire, Heat-Man, The goddess of the Moon, Super Hero, Stephanie, Bear, Cowboy Man, Dos, PC, & Zimm, Bugs Bunny w/ a piece of orange kryptonite, Elderly Bruce Wayne's Dog, & T-Rex #1.

**Watcher’s note: Robin: The Toy Wonder & Zimm were added to their respective teams by me.



As always, when it comes to the battle for the little brown laser, much of the two teams are positioned in space, on opposite sides of the play-off planet. Solaris the Tyrant Sun, is positioned the farthest from the planet, and his teammates Black Lantern Dave Bowman, Black Lantern Agent Smith, Justice Legion Alpha Superman, Galactiac, Iron Lantern, and Thanoseid stand between the tyrant sun and the planet as if they are his honor guard. The Horsemen of Apokolips per usual will be the first to go on the offensive as Superboy Prime, Flamebird, Nightwing, Phoenix, Scar, Hal Jordan, Black Lantern Thanos, Starscream, Eternity, Exitar, & Super Hero are the battle-ready space contingent. Superboy Prime leads the way with the majority of this team, but much to the dismay of TEAM, they do not choose to attack TEAM's space crew at all. Superboy Prime leads all but Exitar and Eternity rocketing at whatever speed his individual crew members can handle into the Play-off Planet where most of TEAM's weaker characters are located. The Horsemen's planet bound contingent is lead by Luke Skywalker and his assistant Larry Reamer. Superboy Prime lands in front of Luke to report. The three of them have not really been in the full leadership role for The Horsemen in the past but these three tried and true Horsemen have all fought for the little brown laser more than anyone on the battlefield (on either team) and they know how important this rivalry is. Superboy Prime and Luke lead the entire Horsemen Squad (again, minus Exitar and Eternity) against what is left of TEAM on the planet. The TEAM ground contingent is being lead up by Max from The Shining Force, and is located in the center of the desert. It may seem like they are sitting ducks out in this area, but they are prepared and ready for a fight... They just may not be ready for a fight with The whole Week 6 Horsemen Squad. The first of The Horsemen to reach the battle are Bugs Bunny, Elderly Bruce's Wayne's Dog, and T-Rex #1. This is of course, because Bugs Bunny's Orange-colored Kryptonite has given every animal in the area the full powers and abilities of a Kryptonian. Eternity appears directly behind Solaris the tyrant sun, bi-passing his contingent of protectors and becomes offended by this artificial form of space. Eternity engulfs the false sun with ease and then becomes angry at the very thought of such an abomination. So much so, that Eternity does what he has never bothered to do before. Eternity actually decided to shrink himself down small enough (still amazingly massive by human standards) to actually enter the atmosphere of The Play-off Planet, and to destroy every member of the TEAM that would dare stand side by side with The Tyrant Sun. Eternity makes quite a production of his entrance into the planet. Batman looks to Max and Wonder Woman and says: “That’s it, we’re done. We can’t compete with the entire Universe”. The looming force of Eternity continues to approach when Michael Demiurgos looks at Batman and the rest of the TEAM and says: “You need not worry young man... If The Universe decides to attack us, then I will simply send the universe back to he who created it”. Michael Demiurgos then raises his hand in to the air and seems to slightly strain mentally. Eternity then dissipated and disappeared from the match. Exitar, per usual decides that he will single out the biggest threat on his opposing team and then exterminate it. He uses his superior brain to scan the entire planet’s interior and atmosphere and surprisingly finds that the most difficult member to kill is a man within the planet itself called Resurrection Man: One who supposedly cannot be killed. Exitar begins to head down toward the planet, when it finally becomes aware to Kal Kent and the rest of his space TEAM that The Horsemen are obviously not coming for them. Kal Kent orders the space contingent to head, who no longer need to stay close to Solaris to get down to The Play-off Planet as quick as they can. The battle begins in the desert, while Kal Kent and the rest of the space-worthy TEAM instead head to arctic area of the planet. The battle begins slowly as both teams are cautious against such a fabled rivalry. The Destroyer moves quickly against Thorion, when he mistakenly thinks that it is his arch-enemy Thor, whom he knows resides on TEAM. The Destroyer is angered to find out that Thorion is by no means Thor and he uses that anger to crush the imposter in his mighty grip. The Grand Jedi Master form of Luke Skywalker is confronted by two familiar faces, and then is double-teamed by Luuke Skywalker and Trioculus. These are both formidable opponents, but they are opponents that he has defeated before; and that was when he was far less powerful than he is now. Luke quickly and easily dispatches these two opponents despite the two on one disadvantage. Dos w/ the help of PC targets Torre with a missile and takes him out, but right when it looks like a good old fashioned Motor City Beat-down is going to take place on the lightened TEAM Squad, Max casts The Egress Spell which takes not just The Shining Force, but all of the desert TEAM out of the battle, and brings them to The Arctic Sector where The 853rd Century Superman and the rest of TEAM is waiting. TEAM regroups with the rest of TEAM just as Exitar is finally approaching the desert. This slows down the Celestial, but it does nothing to quell his desire for TEAM extermination. Superboy Prime once again takes control of The Horsemen and leads them into battle. This time he takes them towards the arctic area where he knows that they are not trying to ambush half of a team, but to take on TEAM itself. This changes nothing for the Kryptonian, as he knows that he and The rest of The Horsemen have a job to do and that it is up to him to get it down, no matter how many TEAMmembers that means he has to fight. “Anything to take back the little brown laser... Anything.“ was how Head Coach Hannibal Lectur ended the pre-game speech, and that is exactly how Superboy plans on ending the match. As The Horsemen reach the freezing arctic area, the battle instantly heats up. These two teams are no longer prepared at this point to engage in any sort of guerilla tactics or secret plans. This is just flat out fighting, just like TEAM Vs. The Horsemen should be... Just like they like it. Exitar finally shows up at the battle, which makes every living member of both teams present for this skirmish (perhaps that is an understatement for what is going on here). Exitar casually mows through near-omnipotent Galactiac on his way to what is strangely enough his target. Exitar moves at the speeds approaching that of light as he snatches up Resurrection Man, with his massive right hand. He crushes his opponent repeatedly, but each time he does Resurrection Man resurrects. Exitar focuses more than just brute strength at his opponent and instead uses his cosmic powers and being which were of course created for one purpose... extermination of enemies. Resurrection Man, who supposedly is unkillable it is found as not as powerful as one who can kill anything. Resurrection Man is killed but shortly afterwards, Michael Demiurgos once again waves his hand to simply send Exitar back to the creator of all. “Why didn’t you do that before we lost Resurrection Man and Galactiac“!?! Screams the stone Wonder Woman. “I am not here to get in the way of any creatures main purpose Wonder Woman” says Demiurgos. He finishes his thought with: “His purpose was complete, so it was time to fulfill mine. I do not ask or expect you to understand this. The battle breakdown goes as follows: The Shining Force takes on The Shining Force, Iron Lantern battles with Hal Jordan, Thanoseid squares off against Black Lantern Thanos, Michael Demiurgos has a conversation with Hope Summers, Cronos combats The Destroyer, Mr. Awesome games with Larry, The Joker and Archangel toy with Bill and his lightsaber, Mitchell and Sanders go up against Tripticon, The JLA bands together against Superboy, Flamebird, Nightwing, Starscream, Luke, the super-powered animals, and Tommy Oliver, Black Lantern Agent Smith throws down against Scar, Plo Koon, & Phoenix, and Black Lantern Bowman goes head to head with X-Man. Michael Demiurgos and Hope Summers have a peaceful conversation with one another. They discover that they were both sent to this world to save their own kind and decide that maybe it would be better for both teams if they were to both die. Neither of them want to die, and they do not expect anyone to understand them when they say that what they are doing is right. But their beliefs do not require your approval. They take hands with each other, and then they both die. Roy Shildt wishes that he had a missile to command but instead he has the next best thing, a very sought after weapon known as the little brown laser. Griffin Poteracki handed it to Roy right before the match and told him to use it well (you know, one Mr. Awesome to the next). Shildt blasts the laser at Larry, while Reamer hides behind a large chunk of ice. Larry decides that it is time to go in for the kill and ignites his lightsaber before he comes out from behind his spot cover and rushes at Roy. Larry ducks one laser blast and then instinctively hides behind his lightsaber as one of the laser bolts bounces off his green saber. “Holy crap”! Larry says out loud. “I’ve never actually been able to do that with this thing before. I’m really getting awesome with this thing”. Larry says as he cuts off Roy’s head and takes the little brown laser back. Hal Jordan makes short work of the amalgam version of himself by using his combined spectrum powers to completely crush The Iron Lantern within his own mystical suit. Thanoseid gets taken advantage of by an original version of himself as well (or at least a screwed up version of his original). Black Lantern Thanoseid unleashes some “dead” cosmic power on Thanoseid and completely disintegrates him. The Destroyer is happy to take on a real god this time but he isn’t happy for long as The father of Zeus “takes his time” in destroying The Destroyer. The Joker takes some unnecessary risks against Bill Kelly, in an attempt to take advantage of the sider, but The Joker underestimates how ready for this match Bill is. You see, the main reason that Bill was happy to be traded from The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets to TEAM wasn’t because he was going to a significantly better TEAM, but because he already hated The Horsemen as much any TEAMmember did (*don’t get this reference? Check out The Midgets Vs. The Horsemen from Season 2). Bill can’t wait to kill one of The Horsemen while in a TEAM uniform, and that is exactly what he does as he shoves his blue lightsaber into the neck of The Joker. Bill raises his lightsaber to his lips to do his patented lightsaber cigarette lighting, but before he can finish his second drag Archangel flies in at the speed of sound and slices him in half. Tripticon is shooting up barrel shaped chunks of snow and ice as he walks through the arctic, which Bill Mitchell and Steve Sanders are easily jumping over (Bill seems to be unnecessarily jumping over some of them twice (friggin point-pushers)). The two of them find a ladder on the back of Tripticon and begin to climb up avoiding the fire balls that Tripticon is shooting at them out of his mouth. The two of them reach the top of Tripticon and pull out their hammers, but it just isn’t enough as Tripticon shakes his head wildly and sends the two gamers flying off in the distance. They don’t seem to fall that far, but the fall for some reason kills both of them. The battle between The Shining Forces is becoming a battle of attrition. The Horsemen’s Shining Force is holding their own, but they are outnumbered and it is beginning to show. Bear and Zylo (AKA: Bad Hair Day) are flying high above the skies and pounding on each other like crazy... How? You ask? They are both being affected by the presence of the orange Kryptonite, and therefore are exhibiting Kryptonian powers. Bear seems to be on the losing end of the battle, due to his insufficient regular powers (in other words, Zylo has claws, Bear doesn’t) but Super-Hero comes in to lend Bear a hand. Super-Hero’s powers are not quite up to snuff with a Kryptonians, but his efforts are more than enough to tip the scales and help Bear finish off the Werewolf. Live-Wire is squaring off against two of the best melee fighters in the Shining Force, Hanzou and Musashi AKA: Mac Dad & Luigie). Live-Wire is able to relieve Hanzou of his Doom Blade, and then direct it back into the ninja’s head with his plasma tentacles, but he is caught by a stunning attack from Musashi’s Katana. Mini-Pipes leaves the side of his one true love the goddess of the moon. The goddess looks at Mini-Pipes and says: “I’ll take out their leader, their is just something about that guy that makes me need to kick his a**”. “That’s weird, you never swear” says Mini-Pipes to the goddess. “Hmm, I guess things change” says the goddess as she goes off to fight Max (AKA: Josh). The goddess is able to break through the White Ring heightened defense of Max, and brings a new definition of chaos and breaking as she destroys the Chaos Breaker before killing The Shining Force Hero. She is then caught by a few random fists and Valkyrie stabs from the Force’s resident monk and long range knight Gong and Ken (AKA: Nick and Ryan). Heat Man actually manages to overpower The groups most powerful spell-caster Tao (AKA: Carli!!!) But can’t keep up the heat as Alef and Anri (AKA: Wilecoyte and April) both cast their Freeze spells to crack him in his place. Dos and PC make quick work of Adam (AKA: Aerosmith) and then they take out Domingo (AKA: Mogie) from the air as well. Lyle (AKA: Weird Al) targets them with his buster shot and blasts them out of the air from three spots out. Dos’ ship is destroyed and PC is killed in the process, but Dos somehow manages to escape with his life (for now). Zimm absorbs the attacks of Mae and Pelle (AKA: Joan Jett and Jay Leno) and then uses the power to destroy them, but Arthur manages to cast a Blaze spell to take out Zimm in his first mission with The Shining Force (a magical weakness perhaps... We shall see)? Cowboy Man reaches for his guns and says: “Howdy partn....”. When he is caught in the face with an elven arrow from Diane (AKA: Robin Hood). Stephanie uses her powers to wipe out Gort (AKA: Thor), as well as Amon (AKA: ET) but she is caught with an Atlas to the head from Mayonais (AKA: Luke). Mini-Pipes takes out Arthur and Diane to avenge Zimm and Cowboy Man with his shrunken metal arms, but his flight isn’t quite fast enough to avoid Edward (AKA: Ed-1) and his Halberd. Super-Hero, Bear, and Dos (with no suit) find themselves surrounded by the remaining Shining Force TEAM, with no one around to help..... To be continued later in the story. The Justice Legion Alpha seems a bit outgunned, but they are working as a team and managing to stay on top of things. Aquaman, due to his animal like exterior is finding that his strength is a bit enhanced due to the close proximity of the orange kryptonite, but it isn’t quite enough to keep him from being melted by the extreme Heat Vision of Superboy Prime, who is on his way to take on The JLA’s toughest member Kal Kent. Flamebird and Nightwing manage to cut off the Flash and finish him off by working together, while Luke Skywalker manages to use the force on an atomic level to recombine the many molecules of the multiplying Atom and crush them together as if they were nothing more than the air-way of a Gamorrean Guard. Batman and his robot sidekick Robin the toy Wonder, along with Starman put a good fight, but in the end are simply not strong enough to take out the new found Kryptonian strength of T-Rex #1, Bruce’s dog, and their leader Bugs Bunny. The only Horsemen to lose his life in this mini-skirmish is Bruce Wayne‘s dog. Hourman decides to try and help their version of Superman, but Superboy Prime just barely deviates from his attack to take out Hourman with a super-powered punch to the head. Wonder Woman is displaying great piloting skills in the 853rd century version of her invisible jet, which is able to be contained with her bracelets, but she is unfortunately no match Starscream who targets her out of the sky with his super-advanced Cybertronian weaponry. All Horsemen who were combating the JLA rush over to help out what is left of The Shining Force, as they have no desire to get in the way of the earth-shattering battle between Kal Kent and Superboy Prime. Black Lantern Agent Smith manages to target Plo Koon’s Mig out of the sky with a burst of black energy, but as Master Koon is falling he combines his force power with the lantern guardian powers of Scar along with the Phoenix force to take out Black Lantern Smith with ease (although Plo Koon still does plummet to his death (he served his purpose, as the old Horsemen adage goes)). Black Lantern Dave Bowman uses his vast cosmic knowledge leftover green lantern residual power, and his new found black lantern abilities to focus a mass of uncontainable energy at X-Man to totally annihilate Nate Grey all together. Superboy Prime is pretty battered from his battle with Kal Kent, but FFL experience pays off as Superboy Prime uses his many learned fighting skills to take push Kal Kent to the ground and pound on his head until the futuristic sub-universe version of himself is killed. Black Lantern Dave Bowman has no desire to share his new found black energy powers, with any being in the universe, which is why he not only kills Black Lantern Thanos, but also uses his manipulation of cosmic energy abilities to absorb those powers as his own. He then completely goes off and uses his powers to destroy the one person who he knows no one else on his team at this point can destroy. Superboy Prime is in the process of killing both Edward and Alef of The Shining Force when Dave Bowman unleashes his power on Superboy Prime to send him to The Graveyard for good (RIP Superboy Prime). Hal Jordan Parallax races over to help Superboy, but his actions don’t help his fellow Horsemen, they simply avenge him. Jordan uses his mixed lantern powers to destroy Black Lantern Dave Bowman with a rainbow of cosmic energy. Cronos joins his TEAM’s Shining Force to make what he is sure is most likely TEAM’s last stand. Cronos makes his last stand by stopping time for less than one earth second and sending Phoenix back to a time before time when the Phoenix force did not yet exist. This of course destroys the ultra-powerful Jean Grey. This is truly an amazing show, but it opens him up to a quadruple team from Hal Jordan, Scar, Flamebird, and Nightwing. Nightwing actually is killed in the melee, but again... Every Horsemen has their role; and hers was to help kill the titan/god known as Cronos. The Horsemen begin a search and destroy of who remains of The Shining Force. T-Rex #1 eats Gong (Nick) and Bugs Bunny’s uses his heat vision to destroy Ken (Ryan). Luke uses his Atlas to cast Blaze 3, which kills the valiant Larry Reamer before he can get out of the way. But afterwards Tommy Oliver uses his knife/flute to summon The Dragon Zord. Much to the surprise of both teams, The Dragon Zord seems to be affected by the orange kryptonite (or maybe he is just that fresh after not being played... Only time and future matches will tell). Either way, it the Dragon Zord that wipes out the remainder of The Shining Force, which consists of Luke, Anri, Lyle, & Musashi. Making this conclusion the least close battle for the little brown laser to date.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!!