"America needs a break from me" "Pop Superstar" Hannah Montana & "WE GOT THE MOTHER F#%@ER!!!" President Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commando's vs George Washington's Slaves

"America needs a break from me" "Pop Superstar" Hannah Montana & "WE GOT THE MOTHER F#%@ER!!!" President Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commando's are Dex-Starr, Karu-Sil, Fatality, Taa, Black Lantern Optimus Prime, Batzarro, Captain Latin America, Cannon Man, The Bottomless Stomach & Kid-Nee, Ginny Weasly, Luna Lovegood, Spider-Man, Claire Danes, David Hasselhoff, Lady Gaga, and Black Lantern Dozer #1.

George Washington’s Slaves are Yoda (w/Green Lantern Ring) on Kybuck, Houndimus Prime, Agen Kolar, Sifo-Dyas, Zombie Ki Adi Mundi, Cade Skywalker, Amazo, Black Lantern Darkseid, Jedi Master #2, Jedi Knights #1B-6B, and Savage Opress (w/Red Lantern Ring).




Shortly before the Commandos departed for Metropolis Lady Gaga, Claire Danes and David Hasselhoff are called into the offices of their Head Coach, President Barack Obama. “Guys, take a seat, will you?” says the President. Nervously, the three Commandos sit down in front of Obama’s desk. “In lieu of what has just transpired this evening, I’m…well…how should I put this… feeling a little frosty. So. I have decided. That you three. Will not be getting the start this week. Instead. I’m going to lead the Commandos into victory. Against. George Washington’s Slaves. Thank you. Good night. God bless. And God Bless the Commandos. The President stands up, takes his normal navy suit coat off and straps on a tactical vest that is fully loaded with weapons and ammunition. “Wow. I haven’t seen the Prez this fired up before,” says David Hasselhoff. “Yeah no kidding. Did you see the glimmer in his eye? He looked like he was ready to take on the entire American League by himself,” Claire replies.

Back in the locker room of the Slaves, Head Coach George Washington and Yoda are meditating in President Washington’s chambers. “Hmmm, a line up change the Commandos have made,” Yoda says. “Yes, I feel it as well. President Obama is going to lead his team into battle,” Washington responds. “It’s an honorable move. One that I will oblige. However, Kybuck will need to remain her in the locker room, Master Yoda.” “Understand do I. Depart let us,” Yoda replies. President Washington then grabs his green lightsaber and orders his team to prepare for battle.

The hour is late, and the Slaves are the first ones to arrive. The Jedi squad all pile out of the back of Houndimus Prime as he pulls to a stop right in front of the statues of Superman and Superboy in Centennial Park. Amazo and Savage Opress (courtesy of his Red Lantern ring) fly over head providing cover for the Slaves. There are then several flashes of different colored lights that zip through the air towards them as the Commandos arrive on the scene. Dex-Starr, Karu-Sil, Fatality, and Taa all fly through the air and attack Amazo at once. The android quickly begins to adapt itself and uses the Lanterns’ own powers against them. Taa is melted by a bath of red energy that Amazo spews at him. Savage Opress ignites his double-bladed lightsaber as he attacks Karu-Sil. The Yellow Lantern sicks her yellow energy attack dogs on the Nightbrother, but he slices through them with his lightsaber. He then flies up to her and coats her with red rage energy as he cuts her head clean off. Fatality tries to battle Amazo, but the android is way too powerful for a mere Star Sapphire and succumbs to his might. Dex-Starr finds himself being attacked by a Green Lantern ring wielding Yoda, who quickly overpowers the cat with his mastery of the Force and his ring. Savage Opress is then hit hard by a cannonball that was fired out of Cannon Man’s mouth. The Nightbrother falls to the ground and lands right in front of President Obama. He pulls out a KA-BAR and drives it into the base of Opress’s skull.

The duo of Ginny Weasly and Luna Lovegood find themselves being attacked by a Zombie Ki Adi Mundi. The two try and blast him with several magical spells, but he blocks them with a corrupted version of the Force. They then hear several small beeping noises coming from behind the half-dead Jedi master. Ki Adi’s head then soon explodes, thanks to a couple small explosives President Obama had stuck to him. “Thanks Mr. President,” the girls say in unison. “His death does not mark the end of our effort. So on your feet girls,” says the President. They follow the President who also has Batzarro with him when they are attacked by Cade Skywalker, Agen Kolar and Sifo-Dyas. Batzarro sacrifices himself by leaping in front of Skywalker’s lightsaber that was meant for the President. Obama then unloads his M-45 MEUSOC into the chest of Skywalker. Ginny and Luna hit Masters Kolar and Dyas with dual magical spells, knocking them to the ground. The President then uses his Milkor MGL to fire several grenades at the Jedi’s, thus blowing them to pieces. Obama then kneels down and picks up Cade Skywalker’s lightsaber. “Never know. We may need this,” he says to the girls.

Black Lantern Optimus Prime then searches out Houndimus Prime. “Ahh, Hound. If you could. I’d like MY Matrix back,” says the Black Lantern. “You’re not really Optimus. The REAL Optimus Prime would never make such a request,” retorts Houndimus. “Fine then. How about I just take it!!” screams Black Lantern Optimus as he lunges at Houndimus and tries to rip the Matrix of Leadership out of Houndimus’s chest. The former Autobot scout kicks the manifestation of his former leader off of him and blasts him with his laser rifle. He blows Black Lantern Optimus’s head clean off. But it reforms moments later. Black Lantern Prime flies back at Houndimus and begins to tear at his chest. He is then blasted back by and incoming Yoda. “The Matrix, powerful weapon it is,” the Jedi Master says to his teammate. Yoda then continues his attack and with the combination of the Force and his Green Lantern ring is able to eradicate Black Lantern Optimus Prime.

Meanwhile in front of LexCorp Towers, Captain Latin America, The Bottomless Stomach, Kid-Nee and Cannon Man are surrounded by Jedi Master #2, and Jedi Knights #1B - 6B. Captain Latin America launches his shield into the air and knocks Jedi Knight #6B down. Jedi Knight #3B leaps into the air to attack, but the Bottomless Stomach opens his mouth and swallows him whole. Cannon Man is firing multiple cannonballs at the Jedi Knights, forcing them to take cover. This allows Black Lantern Dozer #1 to fly and in shoot right through the chest cavity of Jedi Knight #1B. Then Jedi Master #2 and Jedi Knight #5B double team Black Lantern Dozer #1 to take him out. Black Lantern Darkseid then arrives and crushes Kid-Nee. The Bottomless Stomach lunges towards the Black Lantern with his mouth wide open, but receives a blast of Omega Beams right down the gullet, and frying him from the inside out. Captain Latin America finishes of Jedi Knight #6B just in time to witness Black Lantern Darkseid ripping the heart out of Cannon Man. Captain Latin America goes to attack, but is scooped up by Spider-Man, who swings by on his webbing. “What are you doin’ esse??” asks Captain Latin America. “Dude, come on, that guy would have annihilated you!” replies Spider-Man. “Besides, we’ve got to regroup with the President.”

Spider-Man and Captain Latin America finally meet up with President Obama, Ginny Weasly and Luna Lovegood. They quickly find themselves outnumbered against the Slaves with Black Lantern Darkseid leading the pack. He fires his Omega Beams straight at President Obama, but the beams jut around him and incinerate Ginny and Luna. Captain Latin America and Spider-Man rush into action as President Obama finds himself face to face with Black Lantern Darkseid. “What powers could you possibly have to defeat someone like me?” bellows BL Darkseid. A calm and collected President replies, “Powers? Powers you ask, huh? How about the power of the whole free world at my disposal.” Black Lantern Darkseid begins to laugh at such a preposterous statement. Obama takes advantage of this moment and drives Cade Skywalker’s lightsaber deep into BL Darkseid’s chest and slaps chunk of C4 to Darkseid’s torso. He then ducks out of the way of an oncoming Amazo attack. The android crashes into his own teammate and causes an explosion that kills both of them. Captain Latin America is overwhelmed by Jedi Master #2 and Jedi Knight #4B and is defeated. Spider-Man, however, is able to take out Jedi Knight #5B and Jedi Knight #2B before being knocked back by Yoda’s Green Lantern ring. George Washington then slowly, but purposefully makes his way right towards President Obama. “I heard what you’ve done this week, and I wanted to come and personally congratulate you,” Washington says to Obama. “Thank you very much Mr. President, but our match isn’t over with yet,” replies Obama. “You misunderstand me,” Washington says back. “I heard you finally eliminated Osama Bin Laden. Good work. But you will not win this battle. You have fought valiantly. This battle, however, has been won by the Slaves. I am sorry.” “Come on, Mr. President he’s right, let’s go,” Spider-Man says to his Head Coach. Washington extends his hand out to Obama, who receives the handshake as the battle concludes. As Spider-Man and the President leave Metropolis, Spidey turns to him and says “Dude you realize you took out Black Lantern Darkseid and Bin Laden in the same week??”

GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!!!