Playoffs Round 1: Hannah & Barack's Commandos vs Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies

“The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.”


-Sarah Palin


I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Playoff Week 1 Match located on the Playoff Planet. They are as follows:

"I won't stop until I am inked head-to-toe" "Pop Superstar" Hannah Montana & "The Brits think they are soooo funny with their little pet names" President Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commandos: Earth 2 Superman, Black Lantern Optimus Prime, Optimus Prime, Buffy Summers, Tlaloc w/ red lantern ring, Norma Cenva w/ green lantern ring, Luminara Unduli w/ blue lantern ring, Bariss Offee, Dex-Tar, Fatality, Taa, Bryan Beckman(lax) w/ yellow lantern ring, Mandolarian armor, red and blue lightsabers and Mrs. Doubtfire's dress, Dante, Xerxes, Crew of Icarus 2, Movie Devastator, Spiderman, Harry Potter, President Barack Obama, Lady Gaga w/ Sith Lavarok, Willow Rosenberg, Suspiria Witch Coven (Helena Markos, Madame Blanc and Miss Tanner), Mary Marvel, Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley and Ewok Baby #5.


Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderflies: A gaggle of Al Qaeda members, Teddy Roosevelt, Vincent from Collateral, Michael Weston and Fiona, The Wu Tang Clan, John Moses Browning, King Leonidas, Brock Sampson, Sarah Palin and Sandworm #1.

Let the battle begin. . .

Desert Region- [Middle East location]. . .

A near insurmountable number of Al Qaeda members storm the dusty town. To their dismay, only a lone woman stands in the doorway of a falafel hut, eating a hummus and tabbouli wrap. The Al Qaeda members are disgusted at the sight of the ugly beast, especially at the fact that more of her wrap’s contents lie on her blouse instead of her mouth. In response to the hoots and cackles of the Arabic army, Bryan Beckerman rips off Mrs. Doubtfire’s dress. The Mandalorian armor shines in the sun and he ignites both his red and blue lightsabers at the same time. He quickly rises with the use of his yellow lantern ring.

Beckerman: For my fallen tribe mates from ancient years’ past!!!!
Beckerman’s utilization of all his weaponry and skill rips through a majority of the Sampsonites before any can react and blow themselves up. As Beckerman rounds the corner, he is faced by one hundred more individuals. As Beckerman is about to become surrounded, his “lax” powers surface. There is no need though as Movie Devastator comes to the scene. Beckerman flies to the sky and notices that the Crew of Icarus 2 has unleashed a nuke on the site. All of the Al Qaeda members are decimated by the combination of the Icarus 2’s nuke and Devastator’s shredding.
Water Region. . .

Sarah Palin is a sight to be seen (definitely not heard) as she doggy paddles through the waters in her bikini. She sees an egg-like flotilla floating on the waves and swims to it so as to avoid exhaustion. As she nears the egg, music is spewed forth.

RAH RAH AH AH AH,

ROMA ROMA MA;

GAGA OOH LA LA,

WANT YOUR BAD ROMANCE!

Palin is caught off guard as the egg opens up. Lady Gaga stands proudly, adorned with an Obama shirt and a Sith Lavarok. The weapon’s projectiles rip into Palin’s shoulders. As a result, Palin’s bikini top falls off.

Gaga: Impressive for a bag your age! My female monsters. . . I mean witches, come to me!!!

Willow Rosenberg and the Suspiria Witch Coven hover to the area. Head Witch Helena Markos nods her head and she, along with Willow and her coven mates- Madame Blanc and Miss Tanner, use their powers to strip Palin of her undergarment and push her under the water. Palin drowns- naked and alone (laughingly so).

Forest Region. . .

The Big Game Hunter erupts from the heart of the trees that surround him. Teddy Roosevelt has the beast in his rifle’s sight. Baby Ewok #5’s head explodes. Teddy Roosevelt sees a brother-from-another-mother. Barack Obama creeps through the forest. As Roosevelt is about to pull the trigger and kill his fellow President-countryman, Buffy Summers springs out and trips America’s 26th President. As he rises to aim at Buffy, a shout can be heard.

Ripley: Get away from her, you b@tch!

Ripley uses her advanced space-Marine weaponry to rip Roosevelt apart.

Desert Region- [Middle East location]. . .

Sandworm #1 rises from the ground. Norma Cenva with her green lantern ring hovers over the monstrosity. Her coordination of the attack is essential in the destruction of the worm as the combined efforts of Devastator, Earth 2 Superman, Optimus Prime, BL Optimus Prime, as well as the Cymeks, Tlaloc, Dante and Xerxes manage to kill the immense creature.

City Region. . .

The Wu Tang Clan runs through the streets and suddenly finds themselves stuck and encased in webbing. Spiderman shimmies down a pipe, upside down and looks at the musical members. Before any member is able to bust a cap in Spidey’s a$$, they are confronted by Luminara Unduli and Bariss Offee.

One of the members can be heard: Those Nubian goddess bi@$hes be fine!!!

In response to this disrespect, Unduli and Offee ignite their sabers slice the entire Clan apart.

Desert Region. . . [Wild West location]

The American firearms designer John Moses Browning walks the deserted street. He sees a youth with a scar on his forehead at the other end; the boy looks British. A scowl appears on Browning’s face as he realizes a showdown will be had between the U.S.A. and England, once again. As Browning is about to fire, Potter shouts.

Potter: Expelliarmus!

The gun flies out of Browning’s arm. He turns around and only manages to catch a glimpse of Mary Marvel’s fist before it is put through his skull.

Forest Region. . .

Michael Weston, Fiona and Vincent all have Obama in their sights. They are determined not to fail as Roosevelt did. As they simultaneously take their shots, shields of “lantern light” deflect the bullets. Weston is then killed by Dex-Tar. Fiona is killed by Fatality. Vincent is killed by Taa.

Final Melee. . .

The glistening muscles of King Leonidas and Brock Sampson pulsate. The two scream as they rush at the entire squad of the Commandos. The two are shredded apart before a single death from the Commandos is had.

Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderflies: All dead.


IWSUIAIHTTPSHM&TBTTASFWTLPNPBOBOBWTBOC: Only Ewok Baby #5 killed.


The COMMANDOS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!