Team Sleeping Pussy is: Silver Surfer w/Green Lantern Ring (9 Deaths), The Starjammers: Corsair Summers, Hepzibah, Raza Longknife w/Green Lightsaber, Ch'od. & Cr'eee; Korvac, Black Lantern Kyle Rayner, Roy Batty w/Green Lightsaber and Mandalorian Armor, Shi'ar Warrior #s1-10, Obi Wan Kenobi's Spirit, Binary, Deathbird, War Skrull #5, Weaponer of Qward #1-5, a X-Wing and an Y-Wing Bomber.
Tijuana Taco Benders are Predator #50, Sith Lord #18 (Darth Barren), Sith Lord #19 (Darth Vegetariano), Guardians of the Universe: Flash Gordon, The Phantom, Mandrake the Magician, Lothar, Lothar Jr., Rick Gordon, Jedda Walker, Kshin, & Zuffy; Magius, Xenomorph #54, Neo-Cymek #19, Cybertronian Guardian #8, Dementor #9, Dementor #6, Riik #2, Thunderbolts: Songbird, Radioactive Man, Swordsman, Mister X, Headsman, & Ghost; New X-Men: Surge, Prodigy, Blindfold, Rockslide, Mercury, Anole, & Gentle; Black Lantern Trinity, Bill O’Reilly, and Sebula.
The rest of Team Sleeping Pussy readies themselves for battle as Silver Surfer sits upon his board, distraught with emotion. He sits there calmly, as he converses with Dr. Manhattan, who is not competing this week.
The Starjammers take off in their ship, along with the rest of Team Sleeping Pussy. Weaponers of Qward have retro-outfitted the X-Wing and Y-Wing Bomber so that they can fly and navigate without the usage of Astro-Droids. As his team leaves for battle, Silver Surfer continues his exchange with his teammate.
“Manhattan
The blue-hued being blankly stares back at him and says, “It does not matter. You are here now. And soon you won’t be. The planets will still revolve. The sun will still shine. What is what is, what was what was and what will be has already happened. There is no avoiding it.”
Frustrated by theses comments, Surfer leaps up on his board and shouts “I cannot accept that! I will not accept that!”
“Allow me to show you dear Norrin,” Manhattan
“I remember this day,” Surfer says in almost disbelief. “This is where I fell in battle for the first time.”
He sees himself and Flash move at an incredible pace next to each other. Surfer sees where they split off and both head toward different Sandworms. He watches in awe as they both travel directly in to the mouths of the beasts.
“I remember the thick aroma of cinnamon in the air that day. I remember the smell being incredibly strong as I entered the gullet of that monster,” Surfer says as his eyes are locked on visions of past events. He watches as he blasts his way out of the Sandworm’s thick wall of skin. The battle skips ahead to a point where he knows he will not want to see. Surfer watches as he takes on yet another Sandworm, only for it to be attacked by two other Sandworms from its own team.
“A foolish attempt,” he says as he looks away.
“Foolish?” Dr. Manhattan asks. “I do not think so. The outcome of this battle was inevitable. You did what you felt you had to do. Please, there is more to show before our journey is over.’
We are now witnessed to something Silver Surfer definitely does not want to see again.
“Palpatine. Why did I underestimate him?” Surfer asks himself. “I could feel his power and hatred. It emanated out of him. I should not have disregarded that.”
“No,” says Manhattan
He’s forced to watch as Palpatine surprises Silver Surfer with an enormous and deadly amount of Sith Lightning. So much so that Palpatine sacrificed two members of his own team in doing so. The Brigade member then jumps onto the surf board while he is igniting his red lightsaber. Palpatine then force pushes the stunned Silver Surfer off of his own board and flies in to give him enough momentum to stick his lightsaber thru the hardened protective skin of Silver Surfer.
At this point Norrin drops to his knees upon his surfboard, overcome with emotion from re-living this loss.
“Come. There is still much to see,” Dr. Manhattan says as we are transported to another time and place.
Though this time, we are put right into the thick of the First Round of Season Two’s Playoffs. Surfer watches as he cuts a swath of destruction through the team that gave him his first death in FFL, George Washington’s Slaves.
He witnesses himself being focused on by the Slaves. This brings him a small bit of pride, knowing that they viewed him as such a big threat. This was the first battle after Silver Surfer was named the MVP for the Regular Season that year. It was an award that he felt he needed to prove he deserved.
“Ahh, the Playoffs,” Silver Surfer says as he stands back up on his board. “I always loved a good challenge.”
He then watched as he finds his target and incinerates one of the League’s most powerful combatants, Yoda. The battle wages on as Silver Surfer watches his path of destruction continue. He sees as his then teammate, the Incredible Hulk and himself take down the Shuttle Tyderium. Dr. Manhattan then bends time to bring us to the culmination of this epic battle. Surfer watches as he takes out yet two more of the Slaves’ biggest guns, Martian Manhunter and Loki. It’s only then, where he meets his demise.
“I’m still in shock that Amazo was able to take both myself AND the Hulk out here,” Surfer says to Dr. Manhattan.
“Nothing shocks me,” he replies, “And with the power you hold inside you, nothing should shock you either.”
We are then thrusted back into present time, where the Taco Benders and Team Sleeping Pussy battle, without Silver Surfer.
He tries to race into battle, but Dr. Manhattan informs him that we are merely observing this. And that any attempt would be pointless.
“These events have already transpired. You are simply bearing witness, just as Ryatu bears witness to all of us,” Dr. Manhattan says to his eager teammate.
They already see the bodies of the Guardians of the Universe floating through the emptiness of space. There is a destroyed Y-Wing Bomber that floats past their vision. The mangled bodies of Weaponer of Quard #2 and Shi’ar Warrior #2 still trapped in the cockpit. The Starjammer streaks by our view as it focuses its attack on the Cybertronian Guardian. The behemoth is large indeed, but Corsair’s expert piloting allows them to gain the upper hand and destroys the transformer.
As the battle between these two teams continues, we are transported to the first week of Season Three. Here, Silver Surfer has to witness a battle where he was forced into a situation where he was unprepared for. He continues to stand there silent as he watches the events unfold. He watches as he struggles to maneuver through the crowed club. Surfer watches as Mary Embry tackles him off of his board. He watches as they fiercely fight each other, and he watches as Mary brings her fists down on him and breaks his neck.
“What is the point of all this Manhattan
“Exactly,” Dr. Manhattan replies. “What IS the point of all this? What is the point of all this destruction? What is the point of all this fighting?”
Silver Surfer stands there upon his board, silent. Not knowing how to answer Dr. Manhattan’s questions. We are then whisked back through time right as he witnesses yet another instance where his demise ultimately cost his team a victory. He watches as he hits Thanos with the Power Cosmic during the Semis of Season Three’s Playoffs. As we rip through time, we watch as Thanos uses his own death as a way to eliminate Silver Surfer and bring him halfway to the Graveyard.
Time begins to move faster and faster. We briefly see Surfer fall to the hands of Dust, Emperor Han and Bizarro Supergirl in the Desert of Baghdad
“Wait, stop here. I remember this sacrifice!” Surfer exclaims “I remember knowing that I must stop Batman no matter what.”
“This is correct,” Dr. Manhattan replies. “If you did not stop Batman, your team would have fallen once again.”
We witness Silver Surfer use both his Green Lantern Ring and the Power Cosmic against Dick Grayson’s own Green Lantern Ring. The resulting explosion from the power overload blinds us temporarily. Once the haze clears, we find ourselves back in present time watching the two teams continue their battle.
The F.F.L. Kirby-Ditko Space Station is under heavy fire as the Shi-air Warriors and Weaponers of Qward attack the Tijuana Taco Benders. They find themselves outmatched, something they were unprepared for. The New X-Men swarm the members of Team Sleeping Pussy. Rockslide and Gentle crushes Shi’ar Warrior #4 and #7 as Surge electrocutes Weaponer of Qward #3. Anole falls to a blast from Weaponer of Qward #5. The Thunderbolts then come in and swarm the remaining members of the Shi’ar empire and take them all out as the New X-Men finish of the last of the Qwardian Warriors.
Silver Surfer once again tries to intervene, but Dr. Manhattan removes us from the equation once again. We come upon Silver Surfer’s biggest challenge and opportunity to date; Season Four’s National League Finals.
“Damn you,” grunts Silver Surfer. “I knew you would show me this. We had this match won.”
“You obviously…. did not,” retorts Dr. Manhattan. “Nothing is won until it is won.”
The events of this battle unfold quickly and rapidly. First we see the Surfer knock Ganthet out with the Power Cosmic. We then witness Silver Surfer eliminate a Y-Wing and several Lanterns. Time jumps forward as we watch him take down Wonder Man and then Adam Warlock. Here is where time slows.
“I should have known Magneto was up to something here,” Silver Surfer says with almost disgust in his voice.
“Yes, but you didn’t,” replies Dr. Manhattan. “And why? Why didn’t you know that?”
We watch as Magneto captures the cosmic essence of Adam Warlock within a small metal sphere. Time jumps again and we see Silver Surfer violently rip apart X-23 in a most gruesome fashion.
“That was…… unlike you,” comments Dr. Manhattan.
Surfer does not reply, nor does he even look in Manhattan
Silver Surfer sighs and says “This is where my arrogance got the better of me.”
We watch as Silver Surfer says to Magneto, “You stand alone now.”
Magneto replies, “I stand not alone, but with others who have passed on before me.” We then see Magneto fling his cape away and a small sphere, emitting a glow rises. This sphere begins to increase in size as it approaches Silver Surfer and his (now former) teammates. The cosmic bomb explodes and steals Surfer’s hope for a Championship.
“What do you want Manhattan
“We are not done, Norrin,” Dr. Manhattan calmly replies. “There is yet one more event you must bear witness to.”
We then jump to only a matter of weeks ago, where Silver Surfer finds himself battling for the first time for a team other than The Right Wing. We see the events against George Washington’s Slaves unfold. A team he has battled with multiple times before, but never as a member of Team Sleeping Pussy. Silver Surfer’s attitude has vastly changed since the events of the De-Expansion. He thought his whole career was going to be fought as a member of the Right Wing. He never contemplated the notion of fighting for anyone else. Thus, he did not care about what role he played, and just blindly accepted what ever one was given to him. We watch as Kang betrays Silver Surfer and he is overtaken by the Brood Queen. He finds himself now a pawn in Kang’s quest for victory. He perishes as Kang arranges for the entire Playoff Planet to be destroyed.
We now jerk back into present time. Silver Surfer, now enraged, shouts at Dr. Manhattan. “What was the point of all this?! Why show me ever single time I have died throughout the history of this League? Why not show me all of the numerous times I have fought, survived and won?!”
“Because, Norrin,” Dr. Manhattan replies, “You came to our team a changed man. Yes, you only have one death left. But will you die a pawn like you did a few weeks ago? Or will you go out in the blaze of glory that you always wanted and are deservedly intended to have? The choice is yours.”
Silver Surfer does not answer Dr. Manhattan. He straightens himself out on his board, turns and streaks past us in a blur of silver. He maneuvers through the wreckage that was once an X-Wing, he breezes past the corpses multiple members from both sides. He descends upon the space station and doesn’t hesitate for a moment in eradicating the Thunderbolts. He is then hit from behind by various projectiles, courtesy of the New X-Men. He smirks mere seconds before he vaporizes ever last one of them. He continues his onslaught as he makes his way through the space station. He finds the two Dementors sucking the souls out of Deathbird and War Skrull #5. He then uses the Power Cosmic to annihilate the Dementors. As he makes his way out of the space station and ascends into the heavens, he sees a shadow that beings to envelope the area. The Tijuana Taco Benders final combatant, Neo-Cymek #19, is still lurking about. He turns his board back around, but is stopped by Binary and Korvac who rush past him and thoroughly destroy the massive spaceship.
Silver Surfer flies back to Dr. Manhattan who patiently waits. He flies right up to the glowing, azure-hued being and says sternly, “Five years. I’ve been doing this for five years now. There hasn’t been anyone who has survived more matches than I have in the illustrious history of the Fantasy Fantasy League. Not Superman. Not Supergirl, Not Darth Vader, Not even Galactus himself. So as far as you and your so called choices go? I’m not going anywhere. My career isn’t over yet. Not by a long shot.”
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6 comments:
Team Sleeping Pussy is victorious!!
Sleeping Pussy: Silver Surfer, Korvac, Binary & Obi Wan Kenobi's Spirit survive.
Tijuana Taco Benders: All dead.
Holy history lesson! the only thing i diddnt learn is that the Surfer dont take no sh!t! Stellar (no pun intended) job by everyone so far, keep it goin! in the meantime, im going to change the water in the ballwashing tub...
Your best match this season Ryatu, if not your best ever. Really great stuff.
Congrats Fred, I think I can smell the playoffs in your future.
Congrats Fred on your win; and congrats Ryan on writing a great match. @Adam: your team is not bad. A win is out there for you if you want it, if not than better luck next year.
I lost? Damn...
Sparky Anderson got the Ferengi Energy Whip.
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