TEAM Vs. Griffin's High Maintenace Dope Fiends and Destroyers

TEAM is Cypher, Astaroth, Nightmare, Hishiro Mitsurugi, Cop-ur, Jedi Knight #38B, 39B, and 40B, Yellow Lantern #3 and 4, Tomoe Gozen, Crasher, Zistar Flamgag, Lightning Mcqueen, Tow Mater, Black Dragon #8, Krayt Dragon #5, Force adept #5, Edward Cullen, Bella Cullen, Leah, Seth, and Cock Sneak Goomba #2 and 3.

Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers are Ron Burgundy (w/ a green lightsaber), Brian Fantana, Brick Tambland (w/ M202 A1 FLASH Rocket Launcher), Champ Kind (w/ a battle ax), Veronica Corningstone, Baxter the dog, Black Lantern Cloverfield Monster, State Farm Agent (w/ a Legion Flight Ring), King Laufey, Frost Giant #1-6, Sandworm #10, Sandworm #2A, Predator #49, Sub-Zero, and Snoopy and Woodstock in an M-1 Abrams Tank.


The bright lights of The Las Vegas Strip look beautiful as they light up the night sky... That is until two giant sandworms come bursting up through the ground and begin laying the entire city to waste. The bright lights, loud noises, and bustling people act like the super-thumper from hell as this place instantly attracts the sandworms to the heart of the city and of the battle. Thousands of on-lookers, vacationers, and gamblers are killed within the first seconds of the match including Cypher, Astaroth, Mitsurugi, Tomoe Gozen, Tow Mater, and Leah from TEAM and Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, Veronica Corningstone, and The State Farm Agent from The Dope Fiends. It becomes pretty apparent pretty quick that this match is going to be a quick one and that there isn't anybody who is going to last long with those worms going this crazy. Even in the Arrakis Dunes you can find some semblance of calm in certain areas. Or take solace in the fact that after a sandworm attack the worm will usually retreat to its own territory within a matter of seconds. But these worms are confused and stimulated more than any worm has ever been on the dreary, calm, quiet dunes of their home-world Arrakis. Sub-Zero runs to safety on a small rock-outcropping, but quickly finds that Nightmare has the same idea. The two of them become locked in a game of King of the Mountain over the small area that seems safe from the sandworms for the moment; but even as they lock with each other in combat, they know that they can't stay safe from the worms forever. Sub-Zero just hopes that he can stay alive long enough for the worms to take out all of TEAM so he can transported back to base along with them. Nightmare on the other hand is just hoping that his TEAM bought somebody along that knows how to deal with the worms, because he sure as hell doesn't have a clue as to how to stop them. Nightmare swings his massive sword at the Lin Kui Assassin, but Sub-Zero backflips out of the way. He hits Nightmare with a blast of ice (more like melty water in this Nevada heat). This blasts slows down Nightmare enough to let Sub-Zero slide back in to the skirmish, uppercut the hell out of him and then relieve him of both his head and spine. King Laufey believes that he has a couple of moments to mount an offensive, because he notices that the two sandworms seem to be battling amongst themselves, after totally wiping out the much smaller Krayt Dragon. King Laufey, who in many ways fancies himself the new leader of The Dope Fiends after being the key player in the very controversial (Kingdom Come) Superman trade decides that he is going to take on both Crasher and Cop-Tur on his own to prove not only his worth to his new team but also that he is just as good as the Kryptonian punk he was traded for. Unfortunately, this doesn't get to happen because it is around this time that the much larger Sandworm #10 has killed the younger Sandworm #2A. The dead carcass of the massive worm come down hard from about 300 meters up and lands on top of King Laufey, and his two Go-Bot Opponents. Not to mention Seth and Predator #49 who were locked in a pitched battle (I owe Becks a quarter) on the rubble. Edward and Bella Cullen are sparkling so brightly in the hot Nevada sun that the people around who are actually still alive are violently vomiting due to their extreme gayness (not that being gay is something to vomit over... It's just that being an extremely gay sparkling vampire obviously is). The stomachs of these on-lookers are then saved when Snoopy and Woodstock's tank comes crashing in to them and then a nearby wall which blows up the tank and the drivers. This may have happened due to the nearly impossible to navigate broken terrain, or it may have been because there were two Cock Sneak Goombas on top of the tank attempting to be saboteurs, on the other hand it also could have been because it was a dog and a bird trying to drive a tank... You make the call. The only true skirmish that has been taking place for quite some time without direct sandworm interference, is the battle of very uncommon commons taking place over by what was what Caesar's. The four force-users and 2 yellow lanterns are holding there own against the six frost giants. The Frost Giants may have had an edge due to their size if they weren't sweating their GIANT FROSTY BALLS OFF in this ridiculous heat. One thing you should all know about sandworm attacks that I just figured out the hard way, is don't even bother trying to find a functioning air conditioner after those damn things come rolling through a city. The few things in Vegas that the sandworms and The Krayt Daragon have not destroyed, The Black Lantern Cloverfield Monster seems to have taken care of. Including The Hooters Hotel and more importantly to the match Black Dragon #8 and Lightning Mcqueen. Sandworm #10's next dive back in to what is quickly becoming the Dunes of North America took Yellow Lantern #4 right out of the air and in to the mouth of Shai Halud, before the giant worm consumed Black Lantern Cloverfield. It is tough to say whether the yellow energy of the lantern ring mixed with the power of the water of life is what killed the alien monster or if it was just like my prom date said: and that size does matter. Frost Giant #5 stomps the force adept in to the ground, but Yellow Lantern #3 blasts Frost Giants #1 and 4 with a powerful dose of yellow energy. The 3 Jedis manage to team up and take out two of the frost giants (#2 and 3) but in the end the jedis and their yellow lantern TEAMmate are overtaken by the last two frost giants. They manage to kill #6 with their dying push, leaving only Frost Giant #5 alone in victory. Ron Burgundy looks to Brick and Baxter and says: “Sweet Begonias, what in the name of all that is saucy is going on around here? I can't believe those sandworms we brought caused so much grief. Although, I must say kudos to our front office. I mean not to toot our own trombone, but we were the only team to realize that sandworms would be able to work out here in the middle of the desert, even if there is a city around it “. “Was a city”. Replies Brick. “OOOOOOOHHHHHH HO HO You got that right Brick. Ya know ya got me there. Ya can't argue with the facts. This city looks like a dinosaur's one bedroom apartment, right Baxter?? Oh, wait a second boys... Here comes trouble, get that rocket ready Brick. Let me just turn on Ol' Quinlon Vos's lightsaber here and get ready for the real deal cottonfield”. The Jedi Knight known as Zistar Flamgag is who Ron sees rushing towards them with his lightsaber ignited. Brick misses with his rocket launcher as Flamgag trips over some rubble causing his lightsaber to fly out of his hand. Flamgag hits his head on the ground, but the ignited and spinning lightsaber manages to inflict deadly wounds on both Brick and Burgundy. Brick dies instantly, but Ron survives just for a second to say: “Oh, I have fallen along with my noble comrades. What is a man of such esteem supposed to say or do. How is one such as me meant to die. … and... BLOODY TAMPONS does that hurt. Those lightsabers really do the damn damn damage. AVENGE ME BAXTER”!! With these last words, Baxter the dog begins to run over and attack the fallen Zistar Flamgag just as the last Frost Giant rushes over in an attempt to finish the battle as well. But before the two of them can fight over who get to kill the Jedi, Sandworm #10 raises out of the ground and ensures that...
GRIFFIN'S HIGH MAINTENANCE DOPE FIENDS AND DESTROYERS ARE VICTORIOUS!!