George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips

George Washington's Slaves are Ultra Man, Yoda (w/ a green lantern ring) and Kybuck, Black Lantern Hal Jordan, Cade Skywalker, Spongebob Squarepants (w/ a trident), Agen Kolar, Connor McLeod, Sifo Dyas, Amazo, Cassandra Nova, Cosmos, Cthulu, Wedge Antilles (w/ a green lantern ring) and R5-D4 in an X-Wing, Zombie Rodimus Prime (w/ The Autobot Matrix of Leadership/AKA: Rodimus Prime), Sandworm #16-18, Ancient Ginaz Swordsmen #8, (The Shark from) Jaws, Ymir, and Roadbuster.

The Horsemen of Apokolips are Vampire Achilles, Jean Grey Phoenix (w/ a palantir), Flamebird and Nightwing), Joseph, Krona, Ophidian/Medusa, Ion/Sodom Yat, Adara/Luke Skywalker Grand Jedi Master, Proselyte/Hanibal Lectur, The Butcher/Amazon #17, Predator/Ella (w/ blue lightsaber and other goodies), Kyle Rayner: Parallax, White Lantern Sinestro, Black Lantern Mike Sroka, Starscream, The Stunticons: Motor Master (w/ a red lantern ring), Dead End, Break Down, Wildrider, and Drag Strip, Sheanna Atreides, Bugs Bunny (w/ a flying broomstick), Larry Reamer (w/ a green lightsaber and Mandalorian Armor), Josh Houslander: Jedi Master (w/ a blue lantern ring), Laya: Jedi Padawan (w/ Piplup and a Rocketpack), Alex: Jedi Padawan (w/ Mithril Vest) on an Oscorp Glider, and Life Model Decoy #1-3.


As I begin to witness this match, I have a strange feeling come over me. I have a feeling that several people may shine so brightly in what is about to transpire that it may appear that the performance of others is dim, when they are just simply being outdone by someone that is performing on a level that is nothing less than stellar. Like in any important sports match-up (yeah, I'm referring to Fantasy Fantasy as a sport now (you guys didn't really think I could relinquish the control of the league that was born from my own twisted nerd psyche and not go a little crazy did you))? Some of your favorite players may appear to play at not quite the level that you expect from them; but in all actuality there was nothing they could actually do when faced with a person having the game of their career. And this my fellow sports fans, I feel will be one of those nights...

The Slaves have been a desert powerhouse, since half way through Season One when they made their monumental trade with Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies to get six of the league's coveted Sandworms (there were only a total of twenty at the time). But with this “desert power”, as Leto Atreides once described it comes the knowledge that sandworms are not the easiest teammates to aid, which is why the rest of The Slaves (other than the three sandworms) have been ordered to stay away from the desert region all together. “The Horsemen don't need any help getting kills from our own team” was Head Coach George Washington's exact quote in the pre-game speech. Jaws and Spongebob cover the sea, while Cosmos, Wedge, and Black Lantern Hal Jordan cover space. Cthulu is placed on its own in the deepest swamp area, with Yoda, Kybuck, and the Ginaz swordsmen about a mile away on the outskirts of the swamp. Only Ymir is waiting in the arctic. The rest of the Slaves set up camp directly in the center of The Play-off Planet's Metropolitan area, knowing that they can expect a full-frontal attack from The Horsemen (we all know how The Horsemen prefer full-frontal). The Horsemen hang back in the forest region while Phoenix uses her own powers, and those of the palantir to see where The Slaves have been placed and decide whom they should send into what area, to undue their opponent. Aside from the palantir, The Horsemen have an advantage in this match that they are not very used to; which is having their opponents outnumbered. The newly made compassionate coach Hanibal Lectur makes the calls, not in the locker room; but right here in the field. It is decided that Sheanna shall lead Phoenix, Rayner, and Medusa in to the desert to take on the sandworms. The sea is going to be ignored by The Horsemen for the time being (until more soldiers become available from what they hope will be easily won skirmishes). “Jaws isn't going anywhere, we will have plenty of time to take him out later.” says Hanibal when his plan is questioned by Season One Veteran Larry Reamer. Krona is being split from his entities and joined with Nightwing and Flamebird to attempt to take out Cthulu and take control of the swamps. “What of Yoda's small party? They appear to be in the swamp region as well”? Asks the Palantir toting Phoenix. “Searching out Yoda will be far to consuming of both time and manpower”. says Hanibal. He finishes with: “Besides, the longer Yoda stays hidden, the better it is for us, I am sure we aren't lucky enough to have him stay out of the main battle for long”. Achilles, who at one point; and in his original form would have been the obvious choice to lead The Horsemen in the desert, doesn't seem to enjoy the heat of the sun like he used to; which is why he along with Predator Ella, one of her top teachers and now holder of her mother's former entity Butcher Barbera (Amazon #17), Larry, Josh, Laya, Alex, and Piplup are all being sent to take out The Slaves top-drafted rookie for this year: Ymir. Starscream is going to be flanked by Black Lantern Sroka and Ion in space. “I, myself shall lead the charge in the city's main battle; and be ready Horsemen. For no palantir can prepare even a squad of our power for what The Slaves have waiting for us” says the Indigo-entity infused serial killer as this match finally begins...

Vampire Achilles is surprised to see that his squad can keep up with him as he begins running through the snow on the way to take on Ymir on his home turf. The immense frost giant is not to hard to find lumbering through the arctic. Josh, Ella, and Barb take to the air to fight Ymir from up high, while Vampire Achilles, and the rest of the crew battle closer to the ground. Ymir swings his mighty fist and slams Amazon #17 into a glacier, destroying both her and her entity. Vampire Achilles moves swiftly attacking the ankles of Ymir while Larry finds himself backed in to a corner on the ground. Master Houslander sees Larry in trouble and yells: “Padawans, help him out”. With this order, both Laya and Alex fly in to the fray courtesy of their jetpack and glider. They get there just in time to be crushed by the huge foot of Ymir, along with Larry. Just then, a green lightsaber begins sawing at the other leg of Ymir; which prompts Master Houslander to yell once again. This time the order is: “Padawans, help him out for real”!! Laya and Alex, along with Piplup fly in once again to help out Larry who is sawing at Ymir's foot; but this time they are real and not the three LMD's that Ymir just destroyed. Ymir screams in pain, but The Horsemen Ice Squad is relentless. Ella hits him with a burst of violet energy; but Achilles is pounded in to the ground by the enraged Ymir. While Laya, Alex, and Piplup hit him from behind, Josh uses a force push to unsteady the creature. Larry then takes this oppurunity to rocket up to the face of Ymir with the Mandalorian Armor he received from his falled friend and teammate Chris Artrip and stick his lightsaber directly in to the throat of Ymir to take him out. What is left of the squad regroups next to the body of the fallen frost giant, when they decide that they must immedietely make there way to the city to aid Coach Hanibal in his attack.

Sheanna wanders in to the deep desert, knowing that her movement will attract Shai Halud. Her squad stays close, but they cannot imagine that despite the powers that they know a sandworm can possess (The Horsemen have one in their locker room themselves). They still don't think that their powers can be consumed by a naturally occurring beast... We shall see... The massive Sandworm #16 comes crashing out of the dunes, causing The Horsemen to scatter. Phoenix and Rayner fly off in different directions, while Sheanna remains calm as she sees the mouth of the great maker come down directly over top of Medusa. “The desert takes many great warriors” Sheanna says to herself as she slowly raises her arms and begins to concentrate. She is torn by her love of the true Arrakis and to her loyalty to The Horsemen of Apokolips, but she lets the worms decide how they will follow her will. She had originally asked Coach Lectur to let her go in to the desert alone but he insisted on that she take some high-powered characters with her. She uses her latent telepathic ability to see that this will most likely be folly. But, the worms to listen to her thoughts. Sandworm #17 and #18 both come crashing out of the sand within about 25 feet of Sheanna on either side. Phoenix and Rayner thought that they would be safe, this close to Sheanna but this notion proves wrong as #17 inhales Phoenix, and #18 Rayner. The two of them then crash together in mid-air above Sheanna. A large “boom” is heard echoing throughout the Play-off Planet as the two worms mix of sheer size and engulfed power kill them both on impact. Even Sheanna cannot stop the weight of two enormous worms from falling on her head. Her last sad thought in killing the two worms is that at least two thirds of her mission was completed.

Krona approaches Cthulu, while being flanked by both Flamebird and Nightwing. The three Horsemen are more than impressed when they see the massive Cthulu at a distance, but these soldiers have all battled large creatures before, so why should this one be different. The three of them fly in fast, but Cthulu grabs Krona out of the air and swallows him as if he is popping a piece of candy and then traps the two Kryptonians in his wings. The bane of human existance effortlessly squeezes its wings together for a couple of minutes before releasing the tension and dropping the dead bodies of Flamebird and Nightwing in to the festering swamps. For many days Cthulu does nothing more than sleep... But not today; today the elder thing has come here to die... And I as a watcher am curious to see what carnage comes with the death of the star-spawn...

Throughout all of this, the main battle in the city has been raging. Luke Skywalker has already taken out Cassandra Nova and her Demon Rod, and is now battling with both Agen Kolar and Connor McLeod. The Stunticons are still racing through the city in their vehicle forms causing problems for every possible Slave, but is not yet fighting anybody in particular, that is until Roadbuster finds out the hard way that The Stunticons own the road and that he is busted. By the red energy aided front end of the Mack Truck known as Motor Master that is. Amazo went against orders and wandered in to space and met a quick demise from the Ion powered Sodom Yat. White Lantern Sinestro is fixed in a pitched battle with Cade Skywalker (I'm not even giving props to Becks anymore for the “pitched thing”. I'm now just stealing it for my own). Hanibal Lectur is battling with Jedi Council Member Sifo Dyas, when he begins to think that his plan may be working out. He fears the worst about the swamp and desert but he is pleased with how the city battle is going down and has just received word that what is left of Achilles' team will be rendezvousing with them here in the city shortly. But we will return to this skirmish soon enough...

Up in space, Black Lantern Hal Jordan is delighted to find Sodom Yat and Black Lantern Sroka nearby one another. “Hmm, not only do I get to prove that I was the best green lantern ever, but I can show off being the best Black Lantern as well” Says Jordan as he rips the heart out of Sodom Yat. Hal actually enjoys the reminiscent feeling of green energy flow through him as he feels the Ion entity dissipate around his own dead body. Mike Sroka attacks him next, but due to all of the latent ring powers deep within Hal, a mere touch disintegrates Sroka in to the nothingness of space. Jordan then gets a radio transmission from his fellow pilot Wedge that says: “We got this up here Hal, it seems like they could use your help down in the city”. Cosmos then sends a private message to his Captain Wedge saying: “Damn Wedge, I'm glad you got rid of that guy, he's a good fighter; but he gives me the creeps”. Wedge receives the message, but before he can respond, Starscream rockets through Cosmos leaving nothing in his wake. Wedge and Starscream then engage each other in a hellacious dogfight that brings them back and forth throughout the entire play-off planet and all the space around it. Wedge was a bit uncertain of why he was chosen as The Slaves newest green lantern,when he prefers to be in the cockpit of a ship and nowhere else. But it is not to say that he is not putting the ring to good use. Wedge has completely removed the shields, laser cannons, and life support systems from his X-Wing, and has shifted that power to the engines. He has kept the advanced missiles attached, but has no need for lasers, when he can shoot green energy from the mounted cannons, nor does he have any need for shields when his green energy aura protects better than a conventional ray shield could. The same goes for any life support systems or ejecting protocols because he has the ability to survive in deep space on his own. Wedge has also removed the hyper-drive motivator to lose as much unnecessary weight as possible to make what is in essence the fastest X-Wing ever flown. He has made sure that despite his favorite ships durability, that it is faster than any A-Wing or Tie Interceptor that The Alliance or The Empire has ever constructed. And he definitely needs it against the maneuvering abilities of The Cybertronian born Starscream. As exciting as this dogfight is, I don't see it wrapping up any time soon, so I will get back to the rest of the battle...

Larry, Josh, and the gang are on their way to the city, when Hannibal radios them to say that Bugs Bunny has spotted Jaws from his flying broomstick, so they should rendezvous with him in the water to do what they can to take out the massive shark. They know no other way to destroy Jaws other than, diving in the water to take him out, which is exactly what they do. Spongebob attacks first, while his great white teammate circles his prey. Spongebob jumps directly in to the mouth of Piplup and lets his body swell up from the moisture, which then causes the Pokemon Penguin to burst. “hahahahahaha little penguin parts” says Spongebob annoyingly. Spongebob then notices that Jedi Josh is a bit out of sorts in the water and manages to put his trident directly though Josh's dome. Bugs bunny than flies in behind him and says: “Man, these new cartoons are so lame” as he shoves his broomstick up Spongebob's rear pore and out the top of his head to rip him apart. Larry grabs his buddy Bugs in embrace and celebration which of course reminds him of Bugs Bunny dressed up as a girl bunny (which he always found attractive). The two then have a moment, but it is short-lived as the two Looney Tunes are bitten in half by Jaws. “This is getting old, let's get him” screams Laya, as her, Alex, and their cousin Ella send a barrage of firepower down on to Jaws from the air, until the shark eventually stops swimming. Laya radios back to Coach Hanibal and says: “The sea area is clear of Slaves; but we lost some good men. We are on our way back to the city”.

Starscream is being chased by Wedge, when they find themselves over the desert area. The aerial acrobatics are incredible from both, until they are confronted with a near impossible task. The last remaining sandworm (#16) crashes out of the sands and swallow both Starscream and Wedge's X-Wing. The two ships find themselves trapped within the worm and are navigating around the insides , amazingly staying alive inside its massive gut. They manage to evade internal organs, mounds of thousand year old sand, melange deposits, and dripping acid that could one day make transform a Bene Gesserit Witch into a Reverend Mother. The two dogfighters are still attacking one another as well, until they notice that the mouth of the worm has once more opened up, they disengage from each other and both begin racing towards the worms open mouth when they realize that they cannot make it out in time. The sandworm then closes its massive mouth and dives back in to the sand. The two of them are navigating tight twists and turns, just to stay alive, when Wedge receives a message from Starscream through R5-D4. “You are skilled pilot human, and I can't wait to kill you; but the truth is neither of us have enough firepower to blast out of this worm by ourselves”. Wedge answers back: “You're right, and if we try it while this worm is still under the sand than we both die in the avalanche”. R5 chimes in via text: “It looks like we may have to work together”. Starscream then yells loud enough to be heard without digital communication: “Know one thing: I hate humans and Slaves, so as soon as we are out of this, you are dead”!! “Ditto” replies the soft-spoken Wedge as the two ships form up side by side. They see the worm begin to move from a horizontal position to a vertical one and know that the worm is ejecting out of the sand once again. The Maker makes it turn back towards the sand quick, which means that they will have to attempt to exit at the tail unless they want to crash in to the dunes right after they escape. The two ships form up belly to belly as they both fire all of their missiles at the wall that is the sandworm's innards. They manage to blast a hole through the worms skin just large enough for both Starscream and Wedge's X-Wing to escape and then immediately resume their dogfight. The compromised worm on the other hand is killed as it falls to the ground. Wedge and Starscream then find themselves over the city as we lead in to the final battleground, containing every last member of both teams. Luke has broken off from his battle with Kolar and McLeod and was briefly confronted by Cade Skywalker. In what was only a fraction of a second for a non-Jedi the two Skywalkers decided that they need not end each other's lives (and FFL Careers) unless absolutely necesarry; so they parted ways. Joseph is attempting to attack Ultra Man, but is having little success against the massive robot. He finally begins to make some headway and move him when Yoda and his crew finally enter the match. Yoda had hoped to draw some of The Horsemen squad into the swamp to fight both him and Cthulu, but he came to the realization that he would have to bring the fight to them. Yoda on his mini-steed Kybuck races past Joseph and leaves his Ginaz Warrior to deal with Joseph. Joseph turns quickly away from Ultra Man and attempts to turn The Swordsmen of Ginaz's metal weapons against him, but the Swordsmen dodges the attacks from his own sword and uses his finger nail to slice the throat of Joseph in one swift motion. This feat is not much appreciated by Luke Skywalker who throws his lightsaber into the chest of The Ginaz Swordsmen and then instantly pulls it back with the force. Laya, Alex, and Ella draw their lightsabers, as they are confronted by Agen Kolar, Connor McLeod, and Syfo Dyas. The Predator and the two Padawans fall quickly to the three accomplished swordsmen. Luke shows up just to a few seconds to late to save the trio; but he easily avenges them by taking out Dyas, Kolar, and McLeod with his mastery of the force and the art of lightsaber battling. Black Lantern Hal Jordan is met by his old teacher Sinestro high up in the city skies. It is not Sinestro's experience that wins him the battle though, it is due to the fact that he is the one wielding the light power over the dark powers of evil. Motor Master gives the order for The Stunticons to “merge and form Menacer”, and Rodimus Prime rolls up to meet the much larger gestalt in battle. Even the Autobot leader may be a bit mismatched to go single-handedly against a Red Lantern powered gestalt (once the Stunticons form Menacer the red ring immediately gets larger and can be seen prominently on his finger). This fight never gets to take place though as Starscream leads his ongoing dogfight with Wedge in that direction and take out Rodimus with his last missile. “I bet you thought I used all of those to get out of the sandworm!! Well, I saved one for you human, to bad I couldn't pass up taking out the Autobot leader, but I'll still manage to take out your ship with my lasers”!! Starscream scream to the stars. Starscream then gets right on Wedge's six and begins firing but Wedge is able to evade the attacks. Starscream attempts to cut him off at the pass by going low around a building but Wedge gets daring and goes even lower. He flies down beneath an overpass and then doubles back quick to find himself face to face with Starscream. Wedge takes one perfectly aimed shot and then pulls up, leaving only Cybertronian dust where Starscream once was. As I see this, I think to myself that no person could possibly understand the maneuverability of an X-Wing better than Wedge Antilles, accept for maybe one person. Luke Skywalker sees this dogfight transpire from the ground and says: “Sorry old friend” as he uses the force to bring down a building a half mile ahead of Wedge which falls perfectly onto the X-Wing as it races by killing both Wedge and R5-D4. Luke forms up with Hanibal, Sinestro, and Menacer as they notice the coming of Cthulu from the East. To the West of The Horsemen is Yoda, Kybuck, Ultra Man, and Cade Skywalker. Menacer uses his red lantern ring to take to the air; but Ultra Man grabs a hold of The Decepticon and brings the entire Gestalt down hard into the concrete ground. This kills Dead End and Break Down instantly but, Motor Master flies back up in defiance. Ultra Man is able to deliver an upper cut to Motor Master that knocks the rage and the life right out of him. After this, Ultra Man is able to make short work of Wild rider and Drag Strip. Luke is filled with an over-abundance of hope from the Adara/Blue entity, and he uses this to his absolute advantage. Luke attacks like he hasn't since the day he killed his own father and almost crossed over to the dark side. The two sides clash, knowing that this skirmish will be the deciding factor on whose play-off dreams die today; and which live on. Cade and Yoda begin battling with Sinestro and Hanibal, while Luke uses the force to rip apart Ultra Man as if he were breaking a glass jar on the sidewalk. Cade manages to take out The Horsemen Head Coach, but then Luke rockets some of the shrapnel in the direction of the Slaves and then continues to use the force to pull his own team away from the carnage. Cade Skywalker is taken off guard but manages to just barely get out of the way of the huge metal pieces; but Yoda (the true target of the attack) is caught on the right side of his body. The smallish Jedi shakes off the pain and realizes that his green lantern ring is gone and that his right arm has been cut off at the elbow and that he is laying on top of a dead Kybuck. There was an old saying at the Jedi Temple among Younglings who would ask who the second best lightsaber swordsmen in the whole Jedi Order was (Yoda obviousely being the first). The answer that the fencing trainers always gave was: “Yoda with his left hand” Yoda grabs his lightsaber with his only remaining hand and begins to move towards his old padawan, knowing that in this case, that old adage cannot possibly be true. Yoda shakes off the pain anyway, knowing that his last remaining teammate is going to need his help. He looks to his right and sees Luke removing the head of Cade Skywalker with his lightsaber; but then sees Luke turn to face Cthulu. The Adara Entity simply fades away, as there is no hope in the face of the Called Cthulu. Luke force leaps toward the creature; but Cthulu manages to catch Luke in his octopus arms and absorb his power in store for the end of time. Cthulu seems almost drunk with the power he has absorbed as he walks through the city when Sinestro releases the full power of the White Ring: For imminent death is no match for the power of life. White Lantern Sinestro destroys Cthulu just as he hears a jumping grunt come from the one-armed Yoda who takes out the killer of the killer of worlds and makes...