Season Five Playoffs Round One: Beckerman's Backyardigans Beeyaatches vs Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies

Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches are: Grand Admiral Thrawn, Stormtrooper #15 with Ferengi Energy Whip, Life Model Decoys #1-3 on a Super Star Destroyer, Darth Vader in a Tie Bomber, Boba Fett w/double bladed red lightsaber in a Z-95 Headhunter, Doomsday, Wolverine in an F-Zero Car, Michael Myers, Dark Phoenix, Black Zarak, Dracula, Vulcan, Mogo, Chaos King, Orion, Holocaust, Gambit w/Magnaguard electrostaff, and Pablo w/Flamethrower.



Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderflies are Head Coach King Leonidas, Assistant Coach Brock Samson, Assistant Coach Beatrix Kiddo, Odin, O.D.B w/Red Lantern Ring, Howard the Duck w/Green Lantern Ring, Booster Gold, Black Panther w/Green Lantern Ring, Obi Wan Kenobi, Dobby, Forge, Etrigan the Demon, Moon Knight, Tohper Brink, Doll #1, Quick Draw McGraw, Michael Weston w/FN FAL Assault Rifle, Fiona Glenane, Sam Axe w/M202A1 FLASH Rocket Launcher, Dynomutt: Dog Wonder, Sandworm #1, Hawkman, Hawkwoman, Greedo, Batgirl w/Green Lantern Ring, The Maxx, Julie Winters, Lochness Monster, Andre the Giant, Machete, Black Lantern General Grievous, William V: Tyrant, Queen Kate w/Ferengi Energy Whip, Pippit w/Jetpack, Harribul the Terrible w/Tron Light Suit, Altair Ibn-La'Ahad, Ezio Auditore da Firenze, Jay w/Flamethrower, Silent Bob w/Pokeball, Suzanne the Orangutan, and Mappy.


The Playoff Planet has many moons in its orbit. And all of them are members of the Backyardigans. For this opening round of the Fifth Season of the FFL Playoffs, only one awakens for battle. The Executor, Darth Vader’s personal Super Star Destroyer, passes by Mogo as the Green Lantern planet’s green aura bathes the Eastern hemisphere of the Planet. The Backyardigans ready themselves for combat as Grand Admiral Thrawn and Vader discuss their battle plan. The mammoth ship is then rocked by a planet shattering blast, knocking everyone but Lord Vader from their feet. Vader steps forwards and peers out the window to see Mogo utterly obliterated. He quickly turns around, which causes his capes to swirl in the air.


As he leaves the com deck, Darth Vader motions to Thrawn, “Grand Admiral, I am stepping out, you are in command of my ship.” He then stops and points right at Thrawn. “Make NO MISTAKE, this is MY ship. Do NOT make me regret this decision.” Once aboard his Tie Bomber, Darth Vader gives another order. “Thrawn...”


“Yes Lord Vader,” replies the Grand Admiral.”


“Unleash Doomsday,” commands Vader as he takes off in his Tie Bomber, who is followed closely behind by fellow OG Backyardigan, Boba Fett in his Z-95 Headhunter.


A gate slowly opens as Doomsday stomps his way into the hanger bay. Dark Phoenix uses her telepathy powers to calm the rage that seethes inside the monster.


“Ooooohhh… I’m gonna like today,” snarls Dark Phoenix as an evil sneer curls across her beautiful face.


Thrawn takes his position at the helm of the Executor. He rights his brilliantly white uniform and brushes off a bit of dust from his chest. “Amatsu… you’re up. Let’s finish this quickly, shall we?”


The Chaos King levitates up in the hanger bay, raises his hands and teleports the Backyardigans down to the Playoff Planet. As the team leaves the Executor, a door slides open, and Stormtrooper #15 walks onto the bridge, his helmet pushed back on his head as he smokes a cigar. Life Model Decoy #1, who has been formatted to look like Adrienne Curry, spins around in her chair once she spots the trooper smoking.

“Dude?! Isn’t that one of Wolverine’s cigars?!” she exclaims. “Are you out of your mind?!”


The Stormtrooper takes a long drag from the cigar before he responds, “Hmmm… So it is. Listen little lady, I have nine deaths. It really doesn’t matter what the hell I do. I’m going out today. It’s happening. So I figured, why not enjoy myself?”


The trooper then takes another puff from the cigar as he looks over the L.M.D. “So…. Are you formatted to be an EXACT copy of whoever you’re copied from?” he says with a smirk and a look in his eye.


“Well yes of course I am,” replies the Adrienne L.M.D. “I am an exact copy in everyway.”


“Hmm… Good to know. Come ‘er then,” says the Stormtrooper as he unfurls his Ferengi energy whip and snaps it around the waist of the L.M.D. He then takes her and escorts her off the bridge.


The smoke has finally settled from what was once Mogo and Vader is able to see who committed the atrocity.


“Odin,” growls Lord Vader. “I should have known.”

The All Father then fires a bolt of magic at Vader’s Tie Bomber, which barely misses the ship due to Vader’s incredible piloting abilities. Darth Vader retaliates and fires several laser blasts and connect with Odin, knocking him back through space. Amatsu-Mikaboshi, The Chaos King, then materializes in front of Odin. He tries to attack Odin, but the Asgardian deflects the attack and retaliates in just. But Amatsu begins to absorb the power that Odin is unleashing.


“Ha! There is nothing you can give me that I cannot absorb!” boast the Chaos King.


“Hmmph. You think you can single handedly take on Odin, All Father and his Murderflies?!” barks Odin. “Then SO BE IT!”


Black Panther, Howard the Duck and Batgirl all fly up behind Odin as the four of them blast the Chaos King.


“No. It’s too much. It’s toooooooo….” screams the Chaos King as he is overloaded with power and explodes. Vader and Boba Fett then maneuver around and try to engage the Lanterns and Odin, but the All Father teleports them down to the Playoff Planet.


“Boba, it is obvious that this battle win be won on land, follow me,” Vader says over his comlink.


“Yes, Lord Vader,” Boba replies as they begin their decent into the planet’s atmosphere.


The battle is fully underway down on the Playoff Planet as the Murderflies wasted no time to continue their aggressive attack on the Backyardigans. Sandworm #1 is wreaking havoc throughout the desert as it has devoured the mammoth Black Zarak, thus landing another incredible blow to the Backyardigans’ ranks. Dark Phoenix then arrives in the sun-soaked desert and unleashes the powers of the Phoenix Force upon the massive Sandworm, turning it to a burning husk of spice. Topher Brink, Doll #1, Mappy, Quick Draw McGraw and Dynomutt the Wonder Dog also fall in this attack. The possessed Jean Grey smiles as she flies away from the destruction she had just wrought.


On the completely other side of the planet, night has completely enveloped the cityscape. The Burn Notice trio set up position within a nightclub. Sam is having his usual….a lot. Michael Weston surveys the scene as the club-goers write in rhythm on the dance floor. Fiona watches from above in a VIP lounge. The door behind her slowly opens behind her. She quickly turns around, but sees no one there. Fiona turns to continue her watch, but the Lord of the Undead is now standing before her. Before she can take aim with her rocket launcher, Dracula leaps into action and snaps down on her lovely tanned neck. She tries to fight back, but there is no escape. She is his now.


“Fiona, how’s everything look from up there?” ask Michael over their comlinks. “Fiona? Fiona?” He hangs up the phone and slaps Sam on the back. “Look alert Sam. Something’s wrong. Fiona’s not responding.”


The people on the dance floor then begin to part as Dracula stalks through the nightclub towards his prey. Weston keeps his cool as Dracula walks towards him. The vampire lord still has some of Fiona’s blood dripping from his mouth as he comes up to Michael. He doesn’t say a word, but quickly and with one fluid motion, rips Weston’s heart right out of his chest. Dracula then spins and turns Sam Axe’s head 180 degrees before the retired Navy SEAL can blink. He then turns his gaze to the mirror behind the bar, where he sees Greedo sitting in a booth, gun already drawn, across the bar. Dracula smiles as he picks up a glass of wine and takes a drink before disappearing moments before Greedo gets off a shot. He then reappears and slashes Greedo’s throat out. Dracula begins to walk out the nightclub door but has a machete driven right into his chest by Machete.


“Machete don’t like vampires,” says Machete.


He then follows up with a well placed wooden pool cue that finally subdues Dracula. Machete pulls his machete out of Dracula’s chest as a cloud of smoke begins to circle his head. Machete turns around and sees Wolverine and Gambit standing in the street, waiting for him.


“That’s an impressive blade ya got there bub,” says Wolverine as he pops his claws. “Let’s see how well ya can use it.”


Wolverine and Machete rush each other as Altair and Ezio both leap down from a rooftop and double team Gambit.


“Assassins,” Gambit says to himself. “Why must it always be assassins?”


The Cajun quickly fires multiple playing cards as the duo. Ezio is hit in the chest by the Jack of Clubs and is sent sailing into a parked car. Machete, meanwhile is keeping Wolverine on the defensive for a change. Altair leaps up and dropkicks Gambit down to the ground, but the mutant recovers quickly and connects with electrostaff to the neck. Ibn-La’Ahad is stunned and vulnerable to a royal flush kill shot from Gambit. Remy then springs over to Ezio and knocks him back against the parked car. Gambit flicks a deuce of diamonds under the gas tank of the car. When the charged card explodes, it ignites the gas tank as well, exploding the car and taking Auditore with it. Gambit lights a cigarette as he looks over to see Wolverine pulling his claws out of the chest of Machete. The X-Men duo nod at each other and jump in their F-Zero car and take off.


Meanwhile, Vader and Boba’s ships land on the planet. Boba Fett wastes no time and quickly rockets off to engage the Hawk duo, who are circling the area. Hawkman dive bombs Boba Fett, but the Mandalorian evades the attack and heads right for Hawkwoman. Boba fires several shots at Shiera, but she blocks them with her mace. Hawkman then rights himself and makes a b-line for Boba Fett. He tightens his grip on his mace as he comes closer to his target. Carter swings his mace, but Boba Fett hits the boosters on his rocket pack and fires out of the way. Hawkman’s swing connects with his own teammate, the woman he loves. Hawkwoman’s body plummets to the ground as Hawkman is stunned motionless at his actions. This opens him up for Boba Fett to dispatch him as well.


After a rough start to this battle, the Backyardigans are really getting some traction and their path of destruction doesn’t seem to be slowing down in the least. The vicious ruler of Mother England, William V: Tyrant, along with his triumvirate; Queen Kate, Pippit, and Harribul the Terrible, find themselves facing off against Vulcan, Emperor of the Shi’ar Empire in the middle of a grassy opening that is surrounded by a dense forest. Harribul launches his light disc at Vulcan’s head, but the brother of Cyclops and Havok blasts it out of the sky. He then does the same to Pippit who was trying to surprise him from behind with her jetpack. Queen Kate unfurls her Ferengi energy whip, pulls it up into the air and snaps it around Vulcan’s neck. He begins to laugh as he drains the very energy right out of the whip. He then wraps the whip around his forearm and yanks the Queen towards him. Gabriel fires a powerful blast of energy that rips her in two. Vulcan sees that William V has brought re-enforcements with him in the form of Andre the Giant, the Maxx and Julie Winters.

“Ha! I see you brought your muscle,” Vulcan scoffs. “Good…. So have I.”


Vulcan then lets out a loud whistle. The trees begin to rustle violently and the ground starts to quake. There is then a large object that shoots out from the trees. The object sails up into the air and then comes crashing down in-between Vulcan and the Murderflies. When the dust settles, the object is revealed to be… Doomsday. Andre the Giant tries to attack the creature, but is thoroughly decimated. Vulcan levitates into the air and fires a massive blast of energy at Harribul which leaves him a smoldering pile of ash. The English Tyrant unsheathes his sword and gets a boost from the Maxx, who flings him up into the air towards Vulcan. The mutant smirks as he sees William flying at him, sword drawn, with bloodlust in his eyes. Vulcan quickly flies up and over William and the blasts him in the back, sending him hurtling down to the ground. Harribul the Terrible desperately tries to out maneuver Doomsday, but his speed is equal to his strength and snatches the ginger by his leg and proceeds to rip him in half like a wishbone. Julie Winters ends up being trampled by Doomsday as he charges at the Maxx. The one known as the Ultimate grabs a hold of the Maxx’s ridiculously massive over bite and in on quick yank, pulls his skull right off of his body.


Back up on the Executor, Grand Admiral Thrawn is keeping a close eye on things via a telepathic link Dark Phoenix has established with the entire Backyardigan forces. Stormtrooper #15 walks back onto the bridge, sans LMD Adrienne. However this time, instead of smoking one of Wolverine’s cigars, he’s drinking one of Logan’s Molson Canadians.


“Phew. Man. Hey did you guys know that there’s ACTUALLY a breaking point on those LMD’s legs if try to bend them too far back?” he says to anyone who’s listening. “Anyways… How we doing down there?”


Thrawn barely looks back at the trooper and replies “sigh… We’re doing fine.”


The Stormtrooper then notices that Hermione is working the control of the Super Star Destroyer. He licks his pinky finger and thumb and straightens out his eyebrows as he waltzes over to her.


“Hey there pretty lady, why haven’t you returned my text messages?” he asks Hermione. “I thought we had something special?”


Hermione spins around in her chair and replies, “Listen you troll. I’m not Hermione Granger. I am her Life Model Decoy. She sent me up here so that you would be distracted long enough not to screw up this battle for our team. Now let’s go get this over with.”


The LMD version of Hermione grabs the Stormtrooper by the hand and leads him off of the bridge. The trooper finishes the beer and tosses the can into to the trash.


“Ha! Two points!” he says as the can drops into the garbage. He then smacks the LMD Granger on the butt as they walk down the corridor. The door slides close, but seconds later, it opens back up and Stormtrooper #15 peaks his head back in and whistles to another crew member.


“Hey you!” he shouts.


An imperial officer that looks awfully a lot like Teagan Presley turns around.


“Yeah you. You’re an LMD too ain’t ya?” he asks. Before the officer can respond, the Trooper answers for her, “Yeah I thought you were. Let’s go. You’re coming with us. This is my last night alive, I’m gonna make it worth it.”


The Imperial Officer LMD joins the Stormtrooper and the LMD Hermione.


Meanwhile, back down on the planet, Holocaust is being attacked by the tag team of Ol Dirty Bastard and Etrigan the Demon. The mutant tries to fend off Etrigan and ODB, but the combination of mystical hellfire and red rage energy is just too much and he drops to his knees. Etrigan then leaps up onto Holocaust’s back and with his superior strength, rips the mutant’s protective crystalline shell open. He then unloads with his hellfire and destroys Holocaust. ODB flies down and lands by Etrigan and Holocaust’s body. He’s about to congratulate his teammate, but a glowing red blade from a lightsaber comes right out of his chest. ODB spits blood out of his mouth, as Michael Myers drags the lightsaber up his torso and out his shoulder. The final member of the Wu-Tang Clan falls for the last time.


Etrigan savagely attacks “the Shape.” He blows hellfire at Michael, but Myers keeps coming at Etrigan. He lands several slashes with his lightsaber, but Etrigan revels in the pain. The two continue possibly one of the most brutal fights in recent history of this league. Michael rapidly jams his lightsaber into Etrigan, but the demon form of Jason Blood is just as relentless as Myers is. Etrigan knocks Michael to the ground, and pounces on top of him. He grabs a hold of his head and lets loose a stream of hellfire right at Michael’s face. The white emotionless mask begins to melt away as the hellfire engulfs it. As Michael’s face melts away, he makes one last effort and drives his lightsaber right up underneath Etrigan’s chin. The Demon crumples to the ground as they both die. However, for Etrigan, this was for the final time.


As dawn begins to break over the horizon, that shadow forms in the morning haze. It’s Pablo. The deranged penguin is wielding his trusty flamethrower as he prepares to make his presence felt in this battle.


"All you mother f***ers are mine now!" yells Pablo as he readies his flamethrower.


Howard the Duck, however, swoops in and smacks the penguin in the back of the head with a green energy baseball bat. The penguin crumples to the ground. Howard lands next to the bludgeoned Backyardigan.

"Ryan Poteracki sends his regards you son of a bitch," says the cigar chomping fowl.


Pablo rolls over and with his dying breath replies, "Tell him I said go f*** yourself."


He then surprises Howard by jamming a knife he was concealing into his flamethrower tank, causing it to explode, and roasting both birds.


"Man something smells delicious,” remarks Jay as him, Silent Bob and Suzanne cautiously make their way down the coastline. They are joined by Moon Knight and Beatrix Kiddo.


The Lochness Monster bursts out from the water and scares the holy hell out of Jay who leaps into the arms of the Orangutan.


“Oh yeah… That’s right, Nessie is on our team,” Jay says in a sigh of relief.


The clouds then begin to swirl apart as a beam of energy bursts from the heavens and vaporizes the entire coastline. The laser beam came from the Executor out in space. This certainly got the Murderflies’ attention. Head Coach King Leonidas orders Dobby to apperate the remaining forces to the Executor. The House Elf concentrates as hard as he can and rest of the Murderflies are suddenly aboard the Super Star Destroyer. The ring wielders fly off in organized strikes taking out major power supplies for the massive ship. King Leonidas quickly heads for the bridge where he finds Grand Admiral Thrawn waiting for him. The Grand Admiral fires several quick shots from his blaster, but Leonidas block all of them with his shield. The Spartan king drives his sword into Thrawn’s chest and kills the Grand Admiral.


“The ship is ours,” Leonidas says over the intercom. Black Lantern General Grievous and Forge take over as King Leonidas leaves the bridge to await the arrival of the Backyardigans, who are sure to return. There is then a bright flash outside of the Super Star Destroyer as Dark Phoenix has transported her team back to their ship. Doomsday is running rampant through the enormous spaceship. The first causality of this path of destruction is Dobby, who is crushed beneath Doomsday’s boot.


Wolverine and Gambit continue to work together as they take on Brock Samson and Batgirl. Logan remembers the last time he tangled with Batgirl. In fact, he can still feel the burn on the lightsaber in his chest from where Batgirl drove it in to deal him his first ever FFL death. This time however, she is equipped with a Green Lantern ring. Barbara fires a green energy blast at Wolverine that sends him sailing. Gambit attacks Brock and nails him with a spin kick and then follows it up with a strike from his electrostaff and breaks Brock’s sunglasses. The namesake of the Murderflies grabs Gambit by the ankle when he attempts another spin kick and slams him down to the ground. He then picks up Remy’s electrostaff and drives it right up his ass, killing him. His victory is short-lived though, because Wolverine comes up from behind him and impales Brock with his adamantium claws.


“Ya shouldn’t have done that, bub,” growls Wolverine as he drops Samson.


He then leaps at Batgirl, who ducks and kicks him over the edge of the nearby balcony. Wolverine plummets down the open shaft, but manages to get close enough to the wall to dig his claws in and stop him from falling. Batgirl then begins to fly towards a doorway, when it opens to reveal Boba Fett standing there with his double bladed lightsaber ignited. Batgirl fires several shots from her ring, but Boba deflects them all with his lightsaber. The Mandalorian then rockets through the air courtesy of his jetpack and kicks Barbara down. She throws up a green force field but Boba slashes through it and takes her hand clean off. He then spins the lightsaber in the air and drives it down right into the center of her bat symbol.


Up on the bridge Black Lantern General Grievous and Forge find themselves facing off with Darth Vader. Vader quickly fries Forge with a powerful bolt of Sith lightning and sends him to the graveyard. He then deals with the Black Lantern. Grievous creates multiple black energy lightsabers, but in the end, Vader prevails. Lord Vader then hears the hiss of a door sliding open.


“Ahh, Obi Wan,” he says. “I have been expecting you.”


“I bet you have Darth,” replies Obi-Wan as he ignites his blue lightsaber.


“This will end much differently than the last time we met old friend,” Vader says as he prepares for this dual.


“Oh I don’t think so,” quips Kenobi.


The former friends clash in their usual epic ways whenever they battle. Vader fires a bolt of Sith lightning that Kenobi deflects with his lightsaber. The lightning bounces off the computers surrounding them, sending sparks flying. Kenobi ducks a swing from Vader’s lightsaber and sweeps his legs, but Vader Force pushes Kenobi back. Vader comes after Kenobi, who uses the wall as a ramp and runs up it and flips over Darth. The Sith Lord swings his lightsaber behind his head and blocks Kenobi’s first attack, but Obi-Wan spins around and lops Vader’s arm off, right before relieving Vader’s helmeted head from his shoulders. Obi-Wan drops to his knees in exhaustion after taking out his old Padawan learner.


Boba Fett rockets down a hallway where he is blindsided by a spear, right to his abdomen. This sends him out of control and slamming into wall before plummeting to his doom down the same open shaft that Wolverine is currently scaling. Logan climbs up and over the railing only to have a Spartan sword jammed into his stomach from King Leonidas. Wolverine drops to the ground, bleeding out, but is not down. He gets back to his feet, pops his claws as attacks Leonidas. He slices his shield in two before going into a berserker rage and eviscerates the Spartan King. Logan then stumbles down the corridor, leaving a bloody trail in his wake.


Outside the ship, Odin, Black Panther and Booster Gold try to fend off the trio of Dark Phoenix, Orion and Vulcan. Orion and Black Panther are in a hell of a dog fight courtesy of T’Challa’s Green Lantern Ring and Orion’s Astro Harness. Booster Gold knows that he is incredibly, hilariously outmatched against Vulcan, so he decides to try something crazy. He flies right at Vulcan, and engages his time traveling technology at the moment of impact, which pulls Vulcan through time with him. Booster then tries to let go of the evil Summers’s brother, but Vulcan won’t release him.


“You let me go, and I’ll kill you before I’m torn apart!” screams Vulcan.


“Damn it, well…. I never said this was a good idea,” Booster says to himself. He then kicks Vulcan away, who does keep his promise and blasts Booster Gold with an insane amount of energy seconds before he himself is ripped apart by the space-time continuum.


Back in current time, Odin is keeping Dark Phoenix at bay for the moment, but knows that like Booster Gold, as similar sacrifice is going to have to be made. He conjures all the magically energy he possibly can and unleashes it upon Jean. The explosion is cataclysmic. The Executor is even rocked by the wave. But it does manage get the job done. Dark Phoenix is no more, but at the cost of Odin’s life as well. Orion fires a shot at Black Panther, but T’Challa blocks it with his ring, he then flies in close and with the use of his vibranium outfit, he penetrates Orion’s Astro-Force and is able to slash a huge chunk out of his neck, killing him.


Black Panther flies into the Super Star Destroyer and finds Obi Wan Kenobi still kneeling next to Vader’s body.


“Come my friend,” T’Challa says to his teammate. “This is not over with yet. I can still hear the beast known as Doomsday.”


“Well I don’t like the sound of that fellow,” quips Obi Wan.


“He’s the least of your worries, bub,” grunts Wolverine as he guts Black Panther from behind. “Sorry T’Challa. Nothing personal.”


Obi Wan then re-ignites his lightsaber and awaits Wolverine’s attack. Logan takes several swipes with his claws, but Kenobi blocks them with his lightsaber. He Force pushes Logan back, but he digs his claws into the ground, sparks flying. He snarls and lets out a roar as he leaps at the Jedi Master. Obi Wan quickly maneuvers out of the way and slices Logan in half. Master Kenobi then hears what he believes is a perfect name for such a creature. Doomsday. The beast crashes through the wall and savagely attacks Kenobi. The Jedi Master leaps out of the way, and is able to slice off several of the bone protrusions that are jutting out of Doomsday’s body. He tries to flip over the monster, but is snatches out of mid air. Doomsday then finally brings an end to not only Kenobi’s life but to this match as well.


Stormtrooper #15 is standing in the doorway watching this whole thing transpire. Once he sees Doomsday kill Obi Wan, he quickly becomes as white as his armor. He realizes that he did not die today and that he just drank all of Logan’s beer and smoked several of his cigars.