Hello all, first off I would like to welcome the newest addition to The Fantasy Fantasy family, Dave Parks. He will be taking over Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve and he will also be our newest Watcher next season. I would politely ask you all to go easy on him at first; but since I know none of you will, I won't even bother to try. So, go ahead and give him hell; but just because we have a new, new guy; let's please not use this as an excuse to start being nice to Real Man. I mean, that would simply be a shame.
Also, a few of us have put together both an Optional and a Non-Optional Tournament to help pass some time in the off-season. Here they are:
The Unlucky 13 Tournament (OPTIONAL)
In this tournament you may enter anywhere from zero to three seperate squads, and you will be awarded 5 Resurrection points per squad, just for entering (so a possible 15 Res. Points are available without even winning a match). The final prize will be Galvatron's Spaceship (the one that Unicron gave him in the original Transformers Movie). There will be Res. Point Prizes for winning each round, and for the final as well; but those will vary according to how many teams are entered. Here is the squad you must put up:
1. Any Avenger (Marvel)
2. Any X-Men Character (Marvel)
3. Any Marvel Villain
4. Any Justice League Member (D.C.)
5. Any Lantern (D.C.)
6. Any D.C. Villain
7. Any Star Wars Character
8. Any Force User
9. Any Transformer
10. Any Robot
11. Any Dead Character (zombie, black lantern, or vampire)
12. Any Character under 45 points* (this is the only required field).
13. Mascot: Any Character under 5 points
-You do not have to fill all 13 spots; but you must fill at least 9 of the 13 to get the 5 Resurrection Points for entering (you may insert one substitute into any of the first 11 spots, this character must be 15 points or less, also feel free to grab characters off of the waiver wire to fill the spots).
-But here is why this tournament is so dangerous. The squad(s) you put up will be fully brought back to life for each round of this tournament. So, the characters you choose to enter into this tournament could potentially get several deaths (4 deaths is the estimate for the most a character could get; but it could technically be even more depending on how many squads enter into the tournament). Who plays who, will be randomly selected after all of the squads are submitted. If one of your squads is selected to go up against another one of your squads, then you can combine the squads in whatever way you choose, and the other one will be eliminated, without any deaths, or any more deaths given to them. I am sure that some of this may seem confusing, but I will post some more stuff in the comment section that might help. Please feel free to contact me direct, or to ask questions in the comment section and me or one of the other watchers will do our best to clarify things. These squads will be due by Friday December 20th.
NON-OPTIONAL ROYAL RUMBLE
-This will be similar to The Royal Rumble that Ryan did a few years back. Every team must submit two characters; but there is no minimum point value (in other words, you have to enter, but you can throw junk characters at it if you want). You must choose two characters from your roster that do not combine for more than 40 points (feel free to use discounts for your two characters).
-The way this tournament will work will be very random. The characters will come down to the ring in a randomly selected order, also the watchers will write randomly selected parts of this match. The prize will be 35 Resurrection Points as well as The Merrimac and The Monitor (yes, the 19th Century Navy Steamships). There will also be an additional 5 Resurrection Points given to the last 5 characters (other than the winner) that are eliminated, and also 3 resurrection points each given to the two unlucky chumps whose characters are chosen as #1 and #2 in the rumble order.
-The only restriction is that the characters must be able to fit in a wrestling ring (sorry Metroplex and Gamera). Also, you may choose characters that have flying abilities; but these abilities will be "somehwat disabled" by the watchers, for the sake of being knocked over the top rope of the ring.
-Good luck all, the characters for this will also be due on Friday December 20th (if they are not in, we will grab some junk off of your roster without asking (we're jerks like that)).
-Anyone who would like to write in both or either one of these tournaments, please let me know. The More the Merrier.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Sunday, November 24, 2013
President Barack Obama and Beckerman present: The Mickey Mouse Red Army vs Team Fighting Murderflies
A chill fills the air as Nekron approaches his teammate, Dora the Explorer.
"I don't fear you you know" whispers Dora, unflinching at the arrival of death itself.
"And why is that, child" asks Nekron "All fear death"
"You silenced the voices" Dora replies "All the voices. The kids telling me what to do. WHich road to take. Swiper no swiping. Swiper no SWIping. SWIPER NO SWIPING. NOSWIPINGNOSWIPINGSWIPERNOSWIPING!!" she lets loose an ear shattering scream, then catches herself starting to loose control. She turns her head, slightly cracking her neck, and continues
"You know. I thought maybe joining this league would silence the voices. That I wouldn't CONSTANTLY have to ask them what to do. What they saw, what was going on. But it didn't. If anything, things got worse. I still can hear the screams of death. The smell of burning flesh. The sounds of explosions. Seeing my friends viciously murdered right before my eyes....even getting a championship didn't stop the VOICES. It DIDN"T WASH THE BLOOD OFF OF MY HANDS!!!!" her lip quivers " *sniff*...You know that's why Pablo finally snapped. The coke, the killing, the sex. This....this LEAGUE. It poisoned my friend. IT POISONS EVERYTHING"
Dora looks Nekron, her eyes brimming with tears. "But you..." she stammers "Your...touch. The cold. The quiet. You stopped the voices. I- I was FREE....but then...THEN...they BROUGHT. ME. BACK. They couldn't let me rest....couldn't just SHUT. UP!!!" Dora punches the mirror infront of her-shattering it.
"Now, I have to do it all over again. The violence, the brief quiet, more death, more depravity, it's...it's TOO much"
"Enough, you insolent brat" sneers Nekron "You think YOU are the only one who suffers?? Look at me. Look how they abuse and pervert my powers. They created nonsense such as a black lantern Al Dogg. They force me into battle, and shackle my true abilities. This very night, THIS. NIGHT. Joshatu sees the scope of my powers, my true abilities unleashed and he DARES to discipline me like a dog that has defecated on the floor. HE lays his filthy hands upon death itself, thinking his is a force mightier than mine. He will PAY for this. They will ALL pay for their transgressions."
"Yes. YES!" grins Dora "We'll make them ALL pay! We must CLEAN this abomination of a League. Together mi amigo, together we can finally SHUT THE VOICES UP!!" Dora cackles "WOULD YOU LIKE THAT JOSHATU?? WOULD YOU LIKE ME AND NEKRON TO PUT AN END TO THE FANTASY FANTASY LEAGUE??"
"Not really, no." says Joshatu as he materializes before the two disgruntled allstars "As a matter of fact, I'd like to get this thing over with already, it's taking FOREVER. Let's just have the battle already so we can move on."
"Insolent human! You DARE to talk to.." begins Nekron
"Dude. F**k off." says Josh as he snaps his fingers, Nekron vanishes. "God. I really don't like all these friggin color corps. Makes the rings less special and cool if every doucher can have one."
Dora drops to her knees weeping and screams "NNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!! HE WAS THE KEY TO ME NOT HAVING"
"Yeah, yeah. To quieting the voices. I get it. Here's let me help you shut them up." Joshatu points his fingers and mimicks firing a gun
"Bang." he says
"Thank you" whimpers Dora as her head explodes.
"Eh, not too bad." says Joshatu "Kinda bulls**t that the ACTUAL opponents didn't really factor in, but whatevs. At least the match is posted."
Joshatu whips out his smartphone and pulls up the final tally of matches "In the interest of not waiting another couple of months, I hereby declare that whatever division wins the most matches are the victors. So, with a score of 6-3 I hereby declare that 2013 AllStar game goes to THE STAN LEE CONFERENCE!!!!"
"Peace out, bros. See you at the draft" says Joshatu as he leaves.
"I don't fear you you know" whispers Dora, unflinching at the arrival of death itself.
"And why is that, child" asks Nekron "All fear death"
"You silenced the voices" Dora replies "All the voices. The kids telling me what to do. WHich road to take. Swiper no swiping. Swiper no SWIping. SWIPER NO SWIPING. NOSWIPINGNOSWIPINGSWIPERNOSWIPING!!" she lets loose an ear shattering scream, then catches herself starting to loose control. She turns her head, slightly cracking her neck, and continues
"You know. I thought maybe joining this league would silence the voices. That I wouldn't CONSTANTLY have to ask them what to do. What they saw, what was going on. But it didn't. If anything, things got worse. I still can hear the screams of death. The smell of burning flesh. The sounds of explosions. Seeing my friends viciously murdered right before my eyes....even getting a championship didn't stop the VOICES. It DIDN"T WASH THE BLOOD OFF OF MY HANDS!!!!" her lip quivers " *sniff*...You know that's why Pablo finally snapped. The coke, the killing, the sex. This....this LEAGUE. It poisoned my friend. IT POISONS EVERYTHING"
Dora looks Nekron, her eyes brimming with tears. "But you..." she stammers "Your...touch. The cold. The quiet. You stopped the voices. I- I was FREE....but then...THEN...they BROUGHT. ME. BACK. They couldn't let me rest....couldn't just SHUT. UP!!!" Dora punches the mirror infront of her-shattering it.
"Now, I have to do it all over again. The violence, the brief quiet, more death, more depravity, it's...it's TOO much"
"Enough, you insolent brat" sneers Nekron "You think YOU are the only one who suffers?? Look at me. Look how they abuse and pervert my powers. They created nonsense such as a black lantern Al Dogg. They force me into battle, and shackle my true abilities. This very night, THIS. NIGHT. Joshatu sees the scope of my powers, my true abilities unleashed and he DARES to discipline me like a dog that has defecated on the floor. HE lays his filthy hands upon death itself, thinking his is a force mightier than mine. He will PAY for this. They will ALL pay for their transgressions."
"Yes. YES!" grins Dora "We'll make them ALL pay! We must CLEAN this abomination of a League. Together mi amigo, together we can finally SHUT THE VOICES UP!!" Dora cackles "WOULD YOU LIKE THAT JOSHATU?? WOULD YOU LIKE ME AND NEKRON TO PUT AN END TO THE FANTASY FANTASY LEAGUE??"
"Not really, no." says Joshatu as he materializes before the two disgruntled allstars "As a matter of fact, I'd like to get this thing over with already, it's taking FOREVER. Let's just have the battle already so we can move on."
"Insolent human! You DARE to talk to.." begins Nekron
"Dude. F**k off." says Josh as he snaps his fingers, Nekron vanishes. "God. I really don't like all these friggin color corps. Makes the rings less special and cool if every doucher can have one."
Dora drops to her knees weeping and screams "NNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!! HE WAS THE KEY TO ME NOT HAVING"
"Yeah, yeah. To quieting the voices. I get it. Here's let me help you shut them up." Joshatu points his fingers and mimicks firing a gun
"Bang." he says
"Thank you" whimpers Dora as her head explodes.
"Eh, not too bad." says Joshatu "Kinda bulls**t that the ACTUAL opponents didn't really factor in, but whatevs. At least the match is posted."
Joshatu whips out his smartphone and pulls up the final tally of matches "In the interest of not waiting another couple of months, I hereby declare that whatever division wins the most matches are the victors. So, with a score of 6-3 I hereby declare that 2013 AllStar game goes to THE STAN LEE CONFERENCE!!!!"
"Peace out, bros. See you at the draft" says Joshatu as he leaves.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
The Empire of George Washington's Slaves vs Griffin's Sleeping High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Pussy Destroyers
Vampire Yoda and Superman Jr are engaged in a battle.
"I feel like I've seen this before" ponders Prowlimus as he watches the mini Man of Steel and undead Jedi master go at it. Suddenly, Mimic strikes the mighty Prowlimus, a loud CLANG is heard as Mimic copies Prowlimus' metal skin and gains the Autobots attention.
"OW! What in the hell?" says Prowlimus. "That hurt, like stubbing your toy. OW!"
"I'm just getting started" says Mimic "Anything you can do, I can do better"
"Really?" asks Prowlimus "Let's see you transformer like this" and he turns into his vehicle form.
"No problem" says Mimic. However, he's made of flesh and bone not metal and gears, and breaks his neck. As he lies there paralyzed, Prime rolls over and crushes his incapacitated opponent.
Prowlimus turns his attention to the still ongoing battle between the Empire and Dope Fiends All-stars. Prowlimus turns on his highbeams, ironically blinding the dope fiend, allowing Supes Jr to finish him off.
"Huff. Puff. See..." gasps Supes Jr "I'm....just...as...hooooofffff.....good as the....original"
"Sure thing, kid" growlsimus Prowlimus "Sure" and they ride off.
"I feel like I've seen this before" ponders Prowlimus as he watches the mini Man of Steel and undead Jedi master go at it. Suddenly, Mimic strikes the mighty Prowlimus, a loud CLANG is heard as Mimic copies Prowlimus' metal skin and gains the Autobots attention.
"OW! What in the hell?" says Prowlimus. "That hurt, like stubbing your toy. OW!"
"I'm just getting started" says Mimic "Anything you can do, I can do better"
"Really?" asks Prowlimus "Let's see you transformer like this" and he turns into his vehicle form.
"No problem" says Mimic. However, he's made of flesh and bone not metal and gears, and breaks his neck. As he lies there paralyzed, Prime rolls over and crushes his incapacitated opponent.
Prowlimus turns his attention to the still ongoing battle between the Empire and Dope Fiends All-stars. Prowlimus turns on his highbeams, ironically blinding the dope fiend, allowing Supes Jr to finish him off.
"Huff. Puff. See..." gasps Supes Jr "I'm....just...as...hooooofffff.....good as the....original"
"Sure thing, kid" growlsimus Prowlimus "Sure" and they ride off.
Monday, October 28, 2013
The Slaves of Apokolips Vs. The Royal Nut-busters
The Slaves of Apokolips are Black Lantern Yoda and George Washington.
The Royal Nut-busters are The Eradicator and Dexter Morgan.
Good day my friends, I Joshatu the Awe-Inspiring (with the help of Heatheratu the Voluptuous) have been gifted with the opportunity to tell the morbid tale of how The Slaves of Apokolips had their nuts royally busted...
“Need a plan of action we do”. Said the Black Lanternized version of the Jedi Master known as Yoda to his ally the noble statesman George Washington. Washington begins to reply: “I indubitably concur Master Jedi; but we must.......”...........
The vision of the two allies goes black; as they are struck by unconsciousness...
...B.L. Yoda and General Washington awaken, and find themselves strapped to surgical tables. Washington's straps are so tight that even his powerful frame cannot budge them. Yoda's binds appear to be constructed of multi-colored beams of energy that touch as he squirms. Burning through his flesh as the different lantern constructs merge powers, creating the only thing capable of killing a black lantern. The two combatants realize that they are stuck in their current predicament, but they are still unsure of the what, where, or why of their position. The room is covered with plastic and pictures of long dead clone troopers, and men in red coats, to justify the use of the code of Harry.
Dexter Morgan slowly enters the room... “it almost takes the fun out of it, when you have an amoral version of Superman, as your henchmen to do all your dirty work and do the kidnapping part for you; but I didn't want to risk anything with the likes of the two of you”. Says Dexter as he moves towards his table of razor sharp tools. Grabbing a traditional scalpel first he takes a blood sample from the cheak of the father of our country first. Wipes the blood of the first president on a microscope slide and then reaches for his specially created green and orange colored glowing scalpel and takes a sample of plasma from the cheak of Black Lantern Yoda. He asks the cosmic-zombified version of The Jedi Council's Senior Member “if he still thought it was right to murder all of those young clone troopers who were “just following orders””? The Black Energized Yoda begins to tell the tale of his righteous existence; but Dexter is not interested. He simply grabs a hold of his decivilized version of Oa Technology and plunges it into the chest of Yoda to kill him. Dexter then wanders back to the table of President Washington and begins to question him as well, when Washington reveals that he has freed his right hand and grabs a hold of Morgan's throat. Dexter takes his scalpel and jabs it into the forearm of The Continental Officer; but despite this manuever and the wild flailing, he is still unable to break the powerful grip of Washington. Washington then grabs a hold of a surgical saw from the table to his left and sticks it deep into the head of Dexter Morgan just before The Eradicator races in to save him. The Eradicator realizes his own failure at not jumping at the chance to save Dexter quicker; but this failure does not slow down his heat vision from frying the man who was number one in the heart's of his countrymen into burnt ash...
The Royal Nut-busters are The Eradicator and Dexter Morgan.
Good day my friends, I Joshatu the Awe-Inspiring (with the help of Heatheratu the Voluptuous) have been gifted with the opportunity to tell the morbid tale of how The Slaves of Apokolips had their nuts royally busted...
“Need a plan of action we do”. Said the Black Lanternized version of the Jedi Master known as Yoda to his ally the noble statesman George Washington. Washington begins to reply: “I indubitably concur Master Jedi; but we must.......”...........
The vision of the two allies goes black; as they are struck by unconsciousness...
...B.L. Yoda and General Washington awaken, and find themselves strapped to surgical tables. Washington's straps are so tight that even his powerful frame cannot budge them. Yoda's binds appear to be constructed of multi-colored beams of energy that touch as he squirms. Burning through his flesh as the different lantern constructs merge powers, creating the only thing capable of killing a black lantern. The two combatants realize that they are stuck in their current predicament, but they are still unsure of the what, where, or why of their position. The room is covered with plastic and pictures of long dead clone troopers, and men in red coats, to justify the use of the code of Harry.
Dexter Morgan slowly enters the room... “it almost takes the fun out of it, when you have an amoral version of Superman, as your henchmen to do all your dirty work and do the kidnapping part for you; but I didn't want to risk anything with the likes of the two of you”. Says Dexter as he moves towards his table of razor sharp tools. Grabbing a traditional scalpel first he takes a blood sample from the cheak of the father of our country first. Wipes the blood of the first president on a microscope slide and then reaches for his specially created green and orange colored glowing scalpel and takes a sample of plasma from the cheak of Black Lantern Yoda. He asks the cosmic-zombified version of The Jedi Council's Senior Member “if he still thought it was right to murder all of those young clone troopers who were “just following orders””? The Black Energized Yoda begins to tell the tale of his righteous existence; but Dexter is not interested. He simply grabs a hold of his decivilized version of Oa Technology and plunges it into the chest of Yoda to kill him. Dexter then wanders back to the table of President Washington and begins to question him as well, when Washington reveals that he has freed his right hand and grabs a hold of Morgan's throat. Dexter takes his scalpel and jabs it into the forearm of The Continental Officer; but despite this manuever and the wild flailing, he is still unable to break the powerful grip of Washington. Washington then grabs a hold of a surgical saw from the table to his left and sticks it deep into the head of Dexter Morgan just before The Eradicator races in to save him. The Eradicator realizes his own failure at not jumping at the chance to save Dexter quicker; but this failure does not slow down his heat vision from frying the man who was number one in the heart's of his countrymen into burnt ash...
Sunday, October 27, 2013
The Realhorsmen Rabblerousers of Apokolips vs The Royal Super Orange Kitties
The diminutive Jedi master and half robot half Sith lord are having a furious lightsaber battle as Superman and Green Arrow sit back and watch.
"I can't wait to crush that little green gloryhog." growls Superman "He coulda been a Horseman, but instead he went to the Royal Lowness and blew his chance at a championship. Well, now I have two and he can suck it. I'll crush you real quick and then once he's done with roboMaul his ass is mine."
"Wait. Did you say you'd crush ME real quick?" says Green Arrow incredulously "I could take you if I wanted to"
"Feh. Please. I'm SUPERMAN. I have TWO championship rings. My team DOMINATED this season. You? You're on the kids team and are a Robin Hood knockoff. You suck."
"Um. I hardly suck, sir. Did you ever read 'The Dark Knight Returns', I'm one of the main reasons you go down toward the end."
"With Batman's help you did, and didn't I tear off one of your arms in that story? Yeah, cool story bro." Superman notices that the moment he's been awaiting is almost upon him as Yoda has managed to cut off most of Maul's robotic legs and is about to finish off the first pick of the 2013 draft. He literally blows off Green Arrow with his superbreath and takes off to once more try and crush the beloved Yoda.
Green Arrow brushes himself off and reaches into his quiver, all the while muttering "Sonofabitch. I'll show him. Robin Hood knockoff? Fuggin dick. I have a show on the CW. I'm in video games now. I-" he frantically searches around his quiver, not quite finding the arrow he wanted when Superman yells
"YO! If you're looking for your kryptonite arrow, I had one of Maul's robo-legs take it from you while I was feeding you a heaping helping of the truth. Told your c-list ass I read "Dark Knight Returns" he smirks as he holds Yoda up by the throat, and prepares to snap his neck. "See you in a sec, nobody"
"Good to know you read the classics" says Queen "But just goes to show you're not totally up on all my trick" as he presses a button on his bow, a secret compartment on his quiver opens with a 'click' he withdraws his "world ending emergency" arrow and takes aim.
"Get in the zone you son of a bitch" he snarls and lets the arrow fly. It hits Superman square in the chest and the mini phantomzone projector tip instantly transports Superman to the phantom zone. Rendering him unable to fight. As he spins off into space, Superman calls out unable to make anyone hear him
"I was on the CW too!!! It's not my fault my show ssssuuuuuuccccckkkkkkeeeeeddddddd."
"I can't wait to crush that little green gloryhog." growls Superman "He coulda been a Horseman, but instead he went to the Royal Lowness and blew his chance at a championship. Well, now I have two and he can suck it. I'll crush you real quick and then once he's done with roboMaul his ass is mine."
"Wait. Did you say you'd crush ME real quick?" says Green Arrow incredulously "I could take you if I wanted to"
"Feh. Please. I'm SUPERMAN. I have TWO championship rings. My team DOMINATED this season. You? You're on the kids team and are a Robin Hood knockoff. You suck."
"Um. I hardly suck, sir. Did you ever read 'The Dark Knight Returns', I'm one of the main reasons you go down toward the end."
"With Batman's help you did, and didn't I tear off one of your arms in that story? Yeah, cool story bro." Superman notices that the moment he's been awaiting is almost upon him as Yoda has managed to cut off most of Maul's robotic legs and is about to finish off the first pick of the 2013 draft. He literally blows off Green Arrow with his superbreath and takes off to once more try and crush the beloved Yoda.
Green Arrow brushes himself off and reaches into his quiver, all the while muttering "Sonofabitch. I'll show him. Robin Hood knockoff? Fuggin dick. I have a show on the CW. I'm in video games now. I-" he frantically searches around his quiver, not quite finding the arrow he wanted when Superman yells
"YO! If you're looking for your kryptonite arrow, I had one of Maul's robo-legs take it from you while I was feeding you a heaping helping of the truth. Told your c-list ass I read "Dark Knight Returns" he smirks as he holds Yoda up by the throat, and prepares to snap his neck. "See you in a sec, nobody"
"Good to know you read the classics" says Queen "But just goes to show you're not totally up on all my trick" as he presses a button on his bow, a secret compartment on his quiver opens with a 'click' he withdraws his "world ending emergency" arrow and takes aim.
"Get in the zone you son of a bitch" he snarls and lets the arrow fly. It hits Superman square in the chest and the mini phantomzone projector tip instantly transports Superman to the phantom zone. Rendering him unable to fight. As he spins off into space, Superman calls out unable to make anyone hear him
"I was on the CW too!!! It's not my fault my show ssssuuuuuuccccckkkkkkeeeeeddddddd."
Saturday, October 26, 2013
George's Washington's Logic Vs. FIEND
George Washington's Logic is Han Solo: Rogue Jedi and Sauron the Deceiver.
FIEND is Black Lantern Darth Vader and Poseidon.
...Krisatu the Mighty Watcher in charge of this year's All Star Game transports himself to the tropical off season home of his fellow Watcher The Neon Master Pogo....
Pogo is sitting on a reclined chair with a purplish drink in his hand brimming with those stupid toothpick umbrellas when Kristu approaches...
“Pogo, you're up. I need you to handle one of the mini All Star Matches for this year”. The Neon Master puts down his drink and says: “SUP KRISATU!! How's it hangin Bro-Hammer?? Down between dem ankles?? What can I do for ya”? “I just told you what you can do for me. I need you to pick up this one little match”. Says Krisatu. Pogo replies: “Nah, I'm tight on that son. It's the off-season, plus Ol' Joshatu the Prig, or whatever he calls himself said that I can just stay on this island until next season, and that I don't have to do anything. So I'm just following orders capt. Poopy-pants”
Krisatu shakes his head warily and says: “No... Actually Pogo, Joshatu marooned you on this island planet, because he didn't want to deal with you and so we could all have a break from you during the off-season. But now I need you to do this one little match, I can even have the combatants transported here if you prefer”. Pogo retorts brilliantly: “Haaaaaaa, what?? Oh, yeah a match or something, right?? You kind of lost me when you said marooned. It just reminded me of that super-gay poster of Adam Levine that Fizzatu has in his office. Have you seen that s**t”? Krisatu struggles to hold back a smirk, but can't. “Ha, yeah; what a Poofter.... But anyway just watch the match and then go back to your winter long war on your liver, see ya after your exile”. Says Krisatu right before he teleports away....
“OH DAMN”!! I forgot how much fun it is to watch mega-powered, trans-genre(heh) warriors do battle with each other, especially while chillin on a beautiful beach, in the middle of.... that's right, I have no idea where I'm at. But, I do know that that crazy version of Han Solo and the double-black Vader are having one wicked lightsaber dual, and that Sauron and Poseidon are rippin apart my gnarly view and just terrorizing the landscape with some godlike battling. Sauron swings his mace of over-compensation (if you know what I mean) and blasts Poseidon into the water; which probably wasn't the smartest thing, cuz that is gonna have to boost his power or something (maybe not). While Han clips off Vader's hand with his lightsaber just to watch it grow back....... OH CRAP!!... I dropped my daquiri. Let me try to scoop up some of the icey part here that didn't get sand in it and throw this in my mouth here cuz this thing is way to good to waste, and well oops, Krisatu is gonna be pissed but it looks like I missed something cuz Solo no longer has a head. But now it looks like Sauron is about to show Ol' B.L. Vader the true meaning of evil. I know that black lanters are only supposed to be able to be killed by combined lantern powers; but it looks like Sauron just sucked the evil right out of Vader and left his dead body there to rot. BUT HERE COMES POSEIDON, and he looks pissed. He's makin earthquakes as he runs and then he just kicked Sauron in the gut with what seems to be the power of all the world's horses (ya gotta luv it when dem Greek gods use their secondary powers)!! Sauron is down yo!! And that trident to the throat and then right through the hand seems to have killed the Mad Man from Mordor and seperated the ring from his body, so it looks like my job is done here. I'm sure there is much conjecture to be had here; but I'm late for a date with that-thaar lounge chair and my next daquiri ain't gonna make itself; so I'll see y'all next season when I'll put ya stitches, bi&^hes!! PEACE!!
FIEND is Black Lantern Darth Vader and Poseidon.
...Krisatu the Mighty Watcher in charge of this year's All Star Game transports himself to the tropical off season home of his fellow Watcher The Neon Master Pogo....
Pogo is sitting on a reclined chair with a purplish drink in his hand brimming with those stupid toothpick umbrellas when Kristu approaches...
“Pogo, you're up. I need you to handle one of the mini All Star Matches for this year”. The Neon Master puts down his drink and says: “SUP KRISATU!! How's it hangin Bro-Hammer?? Down between dem ankles?? What can I do for ya”? “I just told you what you can do for me. I need you to pick up this one little match”. Says Krisatu. Pogo replies: “Nah, I'm tight on that son. It's the off-season, plus Ol' Joshatu the Prig, or whatever he calls himself said that I can just stay on this island until next season, and that I don't have to do anything. So I'm just following orders capt. Poopy-pants”
Krisatu shakes his head warily and says: “No... Actually Pogo, Joshatu marooned you on this island planet, because he didn't want to deal with you and so we could all have a break from you during the off-season. But now I need you to do this one little match, I can even have the combatants transported here if you prefer”. Pogo retorts brilliantly: “Haaaaaaa, what?? Oh, yeah a match or something, right?? You kind of lost me when you said marooned. It just reminded me of that super-gay poster of Adam Levine that Fizzatu has in his office. Have you seen that s**t”? Krisatu struggles to hold back a smirk, but can't. “Ha, yeah; what a Poofter.... But anyway just watch the match and then go back to your winter long war on your liver, see ya after your exile”. Says Krisatu right before he teleports away....
“OH DAMN”!! I forgot how much fun it is to watch mega-powered, trans-genre(heh) warriors do battle with each other, especially while chillin on a beautiful beach, in the middle of.... that's right, I have no idea where I'm at. But, I do know that that crazy version of Han Solo and the double-black Vader are having one wicked lightsaber dual, and that Sauron and Poseidon are rippin apart my gnarly view and just terrorizing the landscape with some godlike battling. Sauron swings his mace of over-compensation (if you know what I mean) and blasts Poseidon into the water; which probably wasn't the smartest thing, cuz that is gonna have to boost his power or something (maybe not). While Han clips off Vader's hand with his lightsaber just to watch it grow back....... OH CRAP!!... I dropped my daquiri. Let me try to scoop up some of the icey part here that didn't get sand in it and throw this in my mouth here cuz this thing is way to good to waste, and well oops, Krisatu is gonna be pissed but it looks like I missed something cuz Solo no longer has a head. But now it looks like Sauron is about to show Ol' B.L. Vader the true meaning of evil. I know that black lanters are only supposed to be able to be killed by combined lantern powers; but it looks like Sauron just sucked the evil right out of Vader and left his dead body there to rot. BUT HERE COMES POSEIDON, and he looks pissed. He's makin earthquakes as he runs and then he just kicked Sauron in the gut with what seems to be the power of all the world's horses (ya gotta luv it when dem Greek gods use their secondary powers)!! Sauron is down yo!! And that trident to the throat and then right through the hand seems to have killed the Mad Man from Mordor and seperated the ring from his body, so it looks like my job is done here. I'm sure there is much conjecture to be had here; but I'm late for a date with that-thaar lounge chair and my next daquiri ain't gonna make itself; so I'll see y'all next season when I'll put ya stitches, bi&^hes!! PEACE!!
The Sisterhood of Real Men Vs. Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve
The Sisterhood of Real Men are Space Ghost and Robimus Prime: The Fallen Watcher of Cybertron.
Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Black Bolt and Allia Atreides.
**Note**... Remember your generic robot voice? Let's all bust those out one more time... (Robimus Prime's words appear in bold print).
I, Robimus Prime have been awoken from my eternal slumber. Who dares rise Robimus Prime from eternal slumber? Eternal slumber was befitting for the likes of Robimus Prime. I am sure that my erasure from the league was befitting to the readers as well, because Robimus Prime although all-powerful and amazing is a fairly one-sided character/watcher and Robimus Prime is not sure how he should write himself now that he has been awoken from eternal slumber and made to semi, yet fakely break the fourth wall while still maintaining his... Correction MY identity as an actual Watcher... So, I ask again... Who has awoken Robimus Prime from eternal slumber?
“it was I, Space Ghost. Sworn enemy of Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve. I wish to get revenge for their destruction of my glorious team The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets. I have resurrected you so you can destroy two of their most powerful agents, and then use your powers to resurrect my friends Jan, Jace, and Blip from the dead; as I fear despite the league's new resurrection policy that they will never be brought back. Because quite frankly as much as I have a soft spot for them, they are about as useless as tits on a boarhog”.
I, Robimus Prime does not take allies. Robimus Prime does not make alliances. Robimus Prime only destroys lesser beings... All beings are lesser when compared to the might of Robimus Prime. Robimus Prime will formulate no plan with the lesser being known as the ghost from space.
Space Ghost speaks... “but Robimus”...
Silence... There are more lesser beings approaching.... They are hostile... They will be destroyed...
Allia and Black Bolt come rushing in to the mystical deep space resurrection chamber. “NOOOO, DIE YOU KENNELZ SCUM” screams Space Ghost as he unloads his arm-moounted lasers into the Atreides princess killing the crysknife wielding Allia. Black Bolt let out a scream that shatters Space Ghost into a thousand pieces but only serves to barely dent Robimus Prime's Cybertronian armor.
Lesser being known as The bolt of black. You talk to much. You must be destroyed. The Mighty Foot of Robimus Prime shall now squash you into the nothingness of oblivion.
Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Black Bolt and Allia Atreides.
**Note**... Remember your generic robot voice? Let's all bust those out one more time... (Robimus Prime's words appear in bold print).
I, Robimus Prime have been awoken from my eternal slumber. Who dares rise Robimus Prime from eternal slumber? Eternal slumber was befitting for the likes of Robimus Prime. I am sure that my erasure from the league was befitting to the readers as well, because Robimus Prime although all-powerful and amazing is a fairly one-sided character/watcher and Robimus Prime is not sure how he should write himself now that he has been awoken from eternal slumber and made to semi, yet fakely break the fourth wall while still maintaining his... Correction MY identity as an actual Watcher... So, I ask again... Who has awoken Robimus Prime from eternal slumber?
“it was I, Space Ghost. Sworn enemy of Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve. I wish to get revenge for their destruction of my glorious team The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets. I have resurrected you so you can destroy two of their most powerful agents, and then use your powers to resurrect my friends Jan, Jace, and Blip from the dead; as I fear despite the league's new resurrection policy that they will never be brought back. Because quite frankly as much as I have a soft spot for them, they are about as useless as tits on a boarhog”.
I, Robimus Prime does not take allies. Robimus Prime does not make alliances. Robimus Prime only destroys lesser beings... All beings are lesser when compared to the might of Robimus Prime. Robimus Prime will formulate no plan with the lesser being known as the ghost from space.
Space Ghost speaks... “but Robimus”...
Silence... There are more lesser beings approaching.... They are hostile... They will be destroyed...
Allia and Black Bolt come rushing in to the mystical deep space resurrection chamber. “NOOOO, DIE YOU KENNELZ SCUM” screams Space Ghost as he unloads his arm-moounted lasers into the Atreides princess killing the crysknife wielding Allia. Black Bolt let out a scream that shatters Space Ghost into a thousand pieces but only serves to barely dent Robimus Prime's Cybertronian armor.
Lesser being known as The bolt of black. You talk to much. You must be destroyed. The Mighty Foot of Robimus Prime shall now squash you into the nothingness of oblivion.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
All-Star Game: HorseShit-Kickers Vs. The Highness Family
The HorseShit-Kickers are: Lord Voldemort and White Latntern Kyle Rayner.
The Highness Family is: Vampire Kang the Conqueror and White Lantern Batman.
Ryan slowly arises
And knows things are amiss
"The League's Play-Off Planet?
What's the meaning of this?"
"I, NuFaGtu,
host you this day!
Although I am troubled
by the things that you say...
No bias was shown
no favorites were had!
I sincerely apologize
if my last match was that bad!"
"You know what I speak of!
You don't need MY clues!
If you are The Watcher
The Royals must lose!"
"That's not how I saw it
the outcome remained!
And it's the post-season
there's naught to be gained!
Plus think of poor Aaron
and feel somewhat solemn.
Those poor bastards
have but a win in their column!
One last thing
though I know you don't care.
The Highness always loses?
How is that fair?
But maybe you're right
so no interuptions
I grant you your wish
NuFaGtu... The Corrupted."
Voldemort and White Rayner
have zero chance.
V. Kang talks mad sh!t
with a very bold stance.
"I am the master of time.
I tell you no fibs.
I've gone back to the past.
You are dead in your cribs."
They disappear quietly
vanished in air.
V. Kang is quite pleased
but why stop there?
"I have won this day
but the past I will fix.
The Royal Highness shall win
Universe Bowl Six."
The strings are pulled
The Highness has won.
Ryan's lost ring
means the awful deed is done.
Time begins to unravel.
V. Kang has a thirst.
The next ring to go
is The Horsemen's first.
V. Kang cannot stop.
He continues the beating.
What a shame that Ryan
missed the first FFL meeting.
"And soon there is nothing
as far as the eye can see.
But if that is true
how can I be?"
Ryan wakes in his bed
cold sweats and some screams.
Had NuFaGtu ripped The FFL
apart at the seams?
He quickly logs on
and The League has survived!
He reads the true match
not some rogue Watcher's jive.
Voldemort spoke
V. Kang's brain exploded.
And White Lantern Batman's shield was
quickly eroded.
Batman's a bad@ss and the ring's
quite the zinger,
But White Lantern Kyle's
the better ring-slinger.
Ryan relaxes.
His temper stops itchin.
He soon hears a strange noise
from the kitchen.
He enters the room.
NuFaGtu appears.
raiding the fridge
for a sandwich and beers.
"Ah, Young Ryan!
I'm glad you've arrived!
Accept my apologies
for my previous lies!
I'm sorry to do this
and maybe it's pious,
but make no mistake
NuFaGtu's not biased.
"GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!" yells Ryan.
The Highness Family is: Vampire Kang the Conqueror and White Lantern Batman.
Ryan slowly arises
And knows things are amiss
"The League's Play-Off Planet?
What's the meaning of this?"
"I, NuFaGtu,
host you this day!
Although I am troubled
by the things that you say...
No bias was shown
no favorites were had!
I sincerely apologize
if my last match was that bad!"
"You know what I speak of!
You don't need MY clues!
If you are The Watcher
The Royals must lose!"
"That's not how I saw it
the outcome remained!
And it's the post-season
there's naught to be gained!
Plus think of poor Aaron
and feel somewhat solemn.
Those poor bastards
have but a win in their column!
One last thing
though I know you don't care.
The Highness always loses?
How is that fair?
But maybe you're right
so no interuptions
I grant you your wish
NuFaGtu... The Corrupted."
Voldemort and White Rayner
have zero chance.
V. Kang talks mad sh!t
with a very bold stance.
"I am the master of time.
I tell you no fibs.
I've gone back to the past.
You are dead in your cribs."
They disappear quietly
vanished in air.
V. Kang is quite pleased
but why stop there?
"I have won this day
but the past I will fix.
The Royal Highness shall win
Universe Bowl Six."
The strings are pulled
The Highness has won.
Ryan's lost ring
means the awful deed is done.
Time begins to unravel.
V. Kang has a thirst.
The next ring to go
is The Horsemen's first.
V. Kang cannot stop.
He continues the beating.
What a shame that Ryan
missed the first FFL meeting.
"And soon there is nothing
as far as the eye can see.
But if that is true
how can I be?"
Ryan wakes in his bed
cold sweats and some screams.
Had NuFaGtu ripped The FFL
apart at the seams?
He quickly logs on
and The League has survived!
He reads the true match
not some rogue Watcher's jive.
Voldemort spoke
V. Kang's brain exploded.
And White Lantern Batman's shield was
quickly eroded.
Batman's a bad@ss and the ring's
quite the zinger,
But White Lantern Kyle's
the better ring-slinger.
Ryan relaxes.
His temper stops itchin.
He soon hears a strange noise
from the kitchen.
He enters the room.
NuFaGtu appears.
raiding the fridge
for a sandwich and beers.
"Ah, Young Ryan!
I'm glad you've arrived!
Accept my apologies
for my previous lies!
I'm sorry to do this
and maybe it's pious,
but make no mistake
NuFaGtu's not biased.
"GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!" yells Ryan.
Monday, October 14, 2013
All-Star Game: The Royal Nutbusters Vs. Shemalabama Apokolips
The Royal Nutbusters are: Professor Charles Xavier and The Annoying Orange.
Shemalabama Apokolips is: The Joker and Real Man.
"Due to a settlement reached with The FFL regarding the "Trophy Room" scandal, The Royal Highness has pledged many hours of community service to the league. One victim of this agreement is I, Professor Charles Xavier. I have been assigned to counsel some of the more... disturbed individuals in The FFL as my particular pennance. I do this under protest, as I was against said trophy room since it's incepton. Unfortunately, NFG was quite insistent on shirking at least some of his responsibility, so here I sit, communicating telepathically with you instead of listening to my first patient. Although, in my defense, it has been saying the same thing repeatedly for the last 5 minutes. Observe..."
Charles Xavier sits in his wheelchair next to a couch in his office. The couch is currently occupied by The Annoying Orange. "What's up, Chuck?" it asks for what must be the 63rd time. Xavier buries his face in his palms while closing his eyes tightly. "Damn you, NFG." he mutters under his breath. He finally raises his head and speaks. "Orange, has anybody ever told you that you are slightly annoying?" asks the Professor. "I'm not annoying, I'm an orange!" explains Orange as expected. Xavier again rues his fate, until an idea suddenly hits him. "Orange, have you ever considered that you are both annoying, AND an orange?" questions Professor X. Annoying Orange begins to speak, but then it's eyes grow wide as it gasps. "Breakthrough..." whispers Orange. "Th... thank you Professor... Thank you..." it mumbles as it exits the office.
Charles Xavier's victory is short lived, and the preparations for his next client are interupted by his door being kicked open. Real Man and NuFaGtu barge in together, and Xavier expects the worst. He is not disappointed. "Chuck, I'm sorry to do this, and I know you're busy, but I need you to babysit Real Man while I go watch another match." says NuFaGtu. "Trust me, this will be easy. Eric gets sleepy after he eats, and I fed him that orange from your waiting room. He'll be out in no time." explains the watcher. Before the Professor can lament the passing of his teammate The Annoying Orange, something more annoying begins yelling loudly. " THIS IS BULLSH*T!!!" begins Eric elegantly. "REAL MAN DEMANDS A CHANGE OF VENUE!!! NFG IS AN @SSHOLE, THEREFORE ALL HIGHNESS MEMBERS ARE @SSHOLES!!! SO SAYS REAL MAN!!!" shouts Eric. "And that's my cue to leave! Thanks again Chuck!" says NuFaGtu. The Watcher leaves the office, and Xavier is completely stunned.
Real Man sits on the couch as Xavier regains his composure. "So... Eric... What is your earliest memory?" asks the Professor. "REAL MAN WILL NOT FALL FOR YOUR TRICKS XAVIER!!! YOUR MOMENTS ARE FEW NOW HIGHNESS!!!" declares Eric, although he makes no attempt to engage his enemy and remains seated. "I see.." continues The Professor before he is inevitably cut off. "REAL MAN IS TOO SMART FOR YOU XAVIER!!! YOU WILL NEVER WIN!!!" yells Eric. "Indeed." states The Professor before they both appear on the Astral Plane. The circuits that slowly transmit thought light the area around them as signals flash across the realm of the mind. "REAL MAN IS NOT IMPRESSED!!! YOU WERE A FOOL TO BRING ME HERE!!! DIE XAVIER!!!' shouts Eric as he begins destroying various nerves that connect to the brain. "Eric!!! Stop!!!" This is YOUR mind, not mine!!!" cautions The Professor. Eric stops and Xavier surveys the damage. "You're lucky Eric. You've only managed to destroy the logic and critical thinking portions of your brain, which, frankly, were quite stunted already." explains Charles.
The world's foremost mutant telepath is brought back to reality by a shrill beep from his intercom. "Your 3 o'clock is here, Professor." says Secretary #8 through the speaker. "He will have to wait a few moments. I may be on the verge of something big." answers Xavier before returning to the mindscape.
"Eric, you must let me help you! No mind can sustain this kind of self imposed mental punishment for long. It's just a matter of time before it implodes. Please Eric. Do it for Real Gayby." pleads the Professor. "ARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!! NO XAVIER!!! REAL MAN RESISTS YOU!!! I AM..."
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
Again, the founder of the X-Men is quickly pulled back to the physical world. He is disturbed to see a bullet riddled Real Man. "Sorry Chuckles, but I'm not a man who is used to waiting. Especially for a nobody like this." says The Joker. He puts the still smoking revolver back in his jacket, then kicks Real Dead Man's corpse off the couch. Joker lies on the bloodied furniture and kicks his feet up leisurely. "Oh Charles, I'm soooooo glad to see you! Is this the part where you cure me? Or do we simply skip to the part where you ship me back to Arkham? HA! I'm just DYING to know Professor... Can you can you save me Chuck, ol buddy?" mocks The Clown Prince of Crime. Xavier's disgust is apparent, but he is unshaken. "Nobody is beyond redemption, even one such as you." replies The Professor. "Is that so?" questions the Joker. "That's funny, I can think of one or two beyond redemption!" he continues. "How's about we start in that fancy graveyard of yours Chucky? HA! I'd say they are officially beyond your help! HAHAHAHA!!!!" laughs The Joker. Xavier winces. "Don't get so down Chuck! In fact, I have to hand it to you, old man. You've probably killed far more children than I have." adds The Joker. The Professor bows his head in disgrace. "Oh lighten up! A lesser man might've given up after one or two... but not you Charles... Oh no... You kept sending them through the ol meat-grinder! I love it! HAHAHA!!!" continues The Joker. Xavier finally looks at the criminal. "Perhaps you are right. Perhaps some are truly beyond redemption." admits The Professor. The Joker raises his revolver to his own head. "Really, X?!? It was that easy to shake you? To make you break your moral code? Pathetic. I make fun of Batman's dead partners all the time and he would NEVER..."
BLAM!
The Joker's "self inflicted" gunshot echos in the office, but all Professor Charles Xavier can hear are The Joker's last words. They would be lost to history, if not for Xavier's telepathic abilities. "No matter what you think, you didn't win today, Charles. I'll say hi to Jean for you." thinks The Joker before he dies with a grin.
Shemalabama Apokolips is: The Joker and Real Man.
"Due to a settlement reached with The FFL regarding the "Trophy Room" scandal, The Royal Highness has pledged many hours of community service to the league. One victim of this agreement is I, Professor Charles Xavier. I have been assigned to counsel some of the more... disturbed individuals in The FFL as my particular pennance. I do this under protest, as I was against said trophy room since it's incepton. Unfortunately, NFG was quite insistent on shirking at least some of his responsibility, so here I sit, communicating telepathically with you instead of listening to my first patient. Although, in my defense, it has been saying the same thing repeatedly for the last 5 minutes. Observe..."
Charles Xavier sits in his wheelchair next to a couch in his office. The couch is currently occupied by The Annoying Orange. "What's up, Chuck?" it asks for what must be the 63rd time. Xavier buries his face in his palms while closing his eyes tightly. "Damn you, NFG." he mutters under his breath. He finally raises his head and speaks. "Orange, has anybody ever told you that you are slightly annoying?" asks the Professor. "I'm not annoying, I'm an orange!" explains Orange as expected. Xavier again rues his fate, until an idea suddenly hits him. "Orange, have you ever considered that you are both annoying, AND an orange?" questions Professor X. Annoying Orange begins to speak, but then it's eyes grow wide as it gasps. "Breakthrough..." whispers Orange. "Th... thank you Professor... Thank you..." it mumbles as it exits the office.
Charles Xavier's victory is short lived, and the preparations for his next client are interupted by his door being kicked open. Real Man and NuFaGtu barge in together, and Xavier expects the worst. He is not disappointed. "Chuck, I'm sorry to do this, and I know you're busy, but I need you to babysit Real Man while I go watch another match." says NuFaGtu. "Trust me, this will be easy. Eric gets sleepy after he eats, and I fed him that orange from your waiting room. He'll be out in no time." explains the watcher. Before the Professor can lament the passing of his teammate The Annoying Orange, something more annoying begins yelling loudly. " THIS IS BULLSH*T!!!" begins Eric elegantly. "REAL MAN DEMANDS A CHANGE OF VENUE!!! NFG IS AN @SSHOLE, THEREFORE ALL HIGHNESS MEMBERS ARE @SSHOLES!!! SO SAYS REAL MAN!!!" shouts Eric. "And that's my cue to leave! Thanks again Chuck!" says NuFaGtu. The Watcher leaves the office, and Xavier is completely stunned.
Real Man sits on the couch as Xavier regains his composure. "So... Eric... What is your earliest memory?" asks the Professor. "REAL MAN WILL NOT FALL FOR YOUR TRICKS XAVIER!!! YOUR MOMENTS ARE FEW NOW HIGHNESS!!!" declares Eric, although he makes no attempt to engage his enemy and remains seated. "I see.." continues The Professor before he is inevitably cut off. "REAL MAN IS TOO SMART FOR YOU XAVIER!!! YOU WILL NEVER WIN!!!" yells Eric. "Indeed." states The Professor before they both appear on the Astral Plane. The circuits that slowly transmit thought light the area around them as signals flash across the realm of the mind. "REAL MAN IS NOT IMPRESSED!!! YOU WERE A FOOL TO BRING ME HERE!!! DIE XAVIER!!!' shouts Eric as he begins destroying various nerves that connect to the brain. "Eric!!! Stop!!!" This is YOUR mind, not mine!!!" cautions The Professor. Eric stops and Xavier surveys the damage. "You're lucky Eric. You've only managed to destroy the logic and critical thinking portions of your brain, which, frankly, were quite stunted already." explains Charles.
The world's foremost mutant telepath is brought back to reality by a shrill beep from his intercom. "Your 3 o'clock is here, Professor." says Secretary #8 through the speaker. "He will have to wait a few moments. I may be on the verge of something big." answers Xavier before returning to the mindscape.
"Eric, you must let me help you! No mind can sustain this kind of self imposed mental punishment for long. It's just a matter of time before it implodes. Please Eric. Do it for Real Gayby." pleads the Professor. "ARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!! NO XAVIER!!! REAL MAN RESISTS YOU!!! I AM..."
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
Again, the founder of the X-Men is quickly pulled back to the physical world. He is disturbed to see a bullet riddled Real Man. "Sorry Chuckles, but I'm not a man who is used to waiting. Especially for a nobody like this." says The Joker. He puts the still smoking revolver back in his jacket, then kicks Real Dead Man's corpse off the couch. Joker lies on the bloodied furniture and kicks his feet up leisurely. "Oh Charles, I'm soooooo glad to see you! Is this the part where you cure me? Or do we simply skip to the part where you ship me back to Arkham? HA! I'm just DYING to know Professor... Can you can you save me Chuck, ol buddy?" mocks The Clown Prince of Crime. Xavier's disgust is apparent, but he is unshaken. "Nobody is beyond redemption, even one such as you." replies The Professor. "Is that so?" questions the Joker. "That's funny, I can think of one or two beyond redemption!" he continues. "How's about we start in that fancy graveyard of yours Chucky? HA! I'd say they are officially beyond your help! HAHAHAHA!!!!" laughs The Joker. Xavier winces. "Don't get so down Chuck! In fact, I have to hand it to you, old man. You've probably killed far more children than I have." adds The Joker. The Professor bows his head in disgrace. "Oh lighten up! A lesser man might've given up after one or two... but not you Charles... Oh no... You kept sending them through the ol meat-grinder! I love it! HAHAHA!!!" continues The Joker. Xavier finally looks at the criminal. "Perhaps you are right. Perhaps some are truly beyond redemption." admits The Professor. The Joker raises his revolver to his own head. "Really, X?!? It was that easy to shake you? To make you break your moral code? Pathetic. I make fun of Batman's dead partners all the time and he would NEVER..."
BLAM!
The Joker's "self inflicted" gunshot echos in the office, but all Professor Charles Xavier can hear are The Joker's last words. They would be lost to history, if not for Xavier's telepathic abilities. "No matter what you think, you didn't win today, Charles. I'll say hi to Jean for you." thinks The Joker before he dies with a grin.
Monday, October 7, 2013
All Star Game: The Midget Grindhouse Vs. TEAM Lurve
The Midget Grindhouse is: Chris Seeney and Emperor Joker.
TEAM Lurve is: C.M. Punk and Justice Legion Alpha Batman.
"This is going to be great!" exclaims Chris Seeney. He is standing in the front row of Madison Square Garden, which is currently set up to host a wrestling event. He looks at the newly created FFL Brand ring, then gazes over the crowd. He feels pride because he knows that each of these common characters have a unique story and soul, thanks to him. "Not bad for a beginner, eh Joker?" asks Seeney. Emperor Joker is seated next to Chris and has his feet draped over the guardrail in front of him. "It's ooookay, but the popcorns a little stale." comments the Joker while he continues throwing the kernels into the air and catching them in his mouth. "I don't get it. The world is your playground, and you settle for a petty rasslin match? Why did I give you my god-like 5th dimensional powers again? You could do anything! Kill anyone! Live a little, kid!!!" chides The Joker. "That's the problem Joker... You gave me this power because you did kill everything and everyone... repeatedly. Then resurrected them to do it again, and again... and again. Even you got bored eventually. So we're going to do things my way because I'll be damned if I put this All-Star game together and don't have a little fun for myself! retorts the newly christened Emperor Seeney. "Now be quiet, it's about to start!"
The house lights dim, and a lone spotlight focuses on the top of the enterance ramp to reveal Justice legion Alpha Batman(JLA). He walks with purpose to the ring, and never takes his angry glare away from his opponents. He fights every urge to strike, but knows that he must play his part, at least until he can figure a way out of the unending Hell that he is currently involved in. Of course, The Joker is booing and hissing incessantly. He is silenced by the guitar riff of C.M. Punk's entrance music "Cult of Personality." It blares through the Seeney-Tech speakers as a lively highlight video plays on the Seeney-Tron screen. Chris managed to put his "Best in the world" C.M. Punk T-shirt on just in time to get a high five from his self described "spirit animal' C.M. Punk. "Yes!!!" he shouts elated, while the Joker rolls his eyes. "C'mon kid! Don't be such a mark." says Joker. TEAM Lurve enters the ring, and faces their tormentors. Chris begins to speak as the crowd noise dies down. "The rules are simple. You two will fight each other, and the one who wins gets to walk away unharmed. If you chose not to fight your temporary TEAMmate, I'll simply make you. Any questions?" asks Emperor Seeney. "Just one. Do you want a GTS or Anaconda Vise finish?" asks a smug Punk. "Hmmm... Go To Sleep is an awesome move, but it's been a minute since you got a win by submission... Listen to your heart." decrees Seeney. Punks smiles as he begins to loosen up in preparation for the match.
The bell rings and JLA Batman looks around frantically for any escape to their insane predicament. "Hey Bats! You know the only way out is through me, so stop stalling." yells Punk. JLA thinks then looks to Punk and nods. They lock up in the middle of the ring, and Batman immediatly sends a lightning quick, super strength knee into Punk's sternum, which kills Punk. JLA Batman begins to turn to exit the ring, but he is halted by Seeney. "No... You can't DO that! PUNK!!! GET UP!!!" yells Chris. C.M. Punk is brought back to life by Chris. C.M. Punk attempts his signature bulldog on JLA, but is quickly countered by an over the shoulder Judo throw, following it with a neck snapping twist to Punk's head. The WWE superstar is lifeless as JLA again attempts to leave the ring. "NOOOO!!!!!! This isn't supposed to happen like this!!! DAMMIT!!!" Seeney screams while again making Punk rise to life. JLA takes Punk down with a roundhouse leg sweep, then restrains him with a nasty looking ankle lock submission. Punk's will is tested as his ankle is twisted into an increasingly sickening angle. He tries to reach the ropes, which would force JLA to release the hold, but JLA Batman drags Punk back to the center of the ring. His agony is palpable, and reaches out to the crowd for any kind of moral support. Chris Seeney instictively reaches back to his hero, unwittingly giving Punk his unlimited power. Punk feels the energy flow into him, and looks back to JLA. "I got em... we can end the ruse now." says Punk as JLA releases the ankle lock hold. "What a mark." declares the wrestler. Punk gets on one knee as he yells "IT'S CLOBBERIN TIME!!!" to the heavens. Seeney knows whats coming and tries to change reality, but quickly realizes his mistake when nothing happens. Joker sees Chris' stunned face, and decides to beat a hasty retreat. "Good times kid, but i believe this is where we part ways. Good luck!" laughs The Joker while makes his way through the crowd. JLA Batman uses the advanced optics in his mask to pinpoint The Joker, and buries a Batarang in the back of his skull. C.M. Punk is getting close to a still flabberghasted Chris Seeney. "I give up! You guys win! I promise! I'm sorry!" begs Chris. Punk accepts the apology, and spares his biggest fan. "I'm... I'm not dead? I knew you wouldn't let me down! Um... Can I have your autograph?" asks Seeney. C.M. Punk shakes his head, but still decides to honor the request. "Sure, sure... I suppose I do kind of owe you one." concedes Punk. "YES!!! BEST IN THE WORLD!!!" shouts Chris with his arms crossed above his head in an "X" formation. "Yeah, yeah... say kid, you got a pen?" questions C.M. Punk. "Huh? Oh... um, yeah!" says Chris as he reaches into his pocket. JLA Batman tosses a Batarang that embeds in the skull of Chris Seeney. C.M Punk turns around with his arms raised to either side in disbelief. "What the f*ck dude?" asks Punk. "He was reaching for a weapon, i just know it." explains JLA. "My friend, I think you might just have some anger issues that you need to overcome. Have you ever heard of the Straight Edge Society?" questions the WWE superstar. "... Go on..." replies JLA Batman as the two begin to leave the arena.
TEAM Lurve is: C.M. Punk and Justice Legion Alpha Batman.
"This is going to be great!" exclaims Chris Seeney. He is standing in the front row of Madison Square Garden, which is currently set up to host a wrestling event. He looks at the newly created FFL Brand ring, then gazes over the crowd. He feels pride because he knows that each of these common characters have a unique story and soul, thanks to him. "Not bad for a beginner, eh Joker?" asks Seeney. Emperor Joker is seated next to Chris and has his feet draped over the guardrail in front of him. "It's ooookay, but the popcorns a little stale." comments the Joker while he continues throwing the kernels into the air and catching them in his mouth. "I don't get it. The world is your playground, and you settle for a petty rasslin match? Why did I give you my god-like 5th dimensional powers again? You could do anything! Kill anyone! Live a little, kid!!!" chides The Joker. "That's the problem Joker... You gave me this power because you did kill everything and everyone... repeatedly. Then resurrected them to do it again, and again... and again. Even you got bored eventually. So we're going to do things my way because I'll be damned if I put this All-Star game together and don't have a little fun for myself! retorts the newly christened Emperor Seeney. "Now be quiet, it's about to start!"
The house lights dim, and a lone spotlight focuses on the top of the enterance ramp to reveal Justice legion Alpha Batman(JLA). He walks with purpose to the ring, and never takes his angry glare away from his opponents. He fights every urge to strike, but knows that he must play his part, at least until he can figure a way out of the unending Hell that he is currently involved in. Of course, The Joker is booing and hissing incessantly. He is silenced by the guitar riff of C.M. Punk's entrance music "Cult of Personality." It blares through the Seeney-Tech speakers as a lively highlight video plays on the Seeney-Tron screen. Chris managed to put his "Best in the world" C.M. Punk T-shirt on just in time to get a high five from his self described "spirit animal' C.M. Punk. "Yes!!!" he shouts elated, while the Joker rolls his eyes. "C'mon kid! Don't be such a mark." says Joker. TEAM Lurve enters the ring, and faces their tormentors. Chris begins to speak as the crowd noise dies down. "The rules are simple. You two will fight each other, and the one who wins gets to walk away unharmed. If you chose not to fight your temporary TEAMmate, I'll simply make you. Any questions?" asks Emperor Seeney. "Just one. Do you want a GTS or Anaconda Vise finish?" asks a smug Punk. "Hmmm... Go To Sleep is an awesome move, but it's been a minute since you got a win by submission... Listen to your heart." decrees Seeney. Punks smiles as he begins to loosen up in preparation for the match.
The bell rings and JLA Batman looks around frantically for any escape to their insane predicament. "Hey Bats! You know the only way out is through me, so stop stalling." yells Punk. JLA thinks then looks to Punk and nods. They lock up in the middle of the ring, and Batman immediatly sends a lightning quick, super strength knee into Punk's sternum, which kills Punk. JLA Batman begins to turn to exit the ring, but he is halted by Seeney. "No... You can't DO that! PUNK!!! GET UP!!!" yells Chris. C.M. Punk is brought back to life by Chris. C.M. Punk attempts his signature bulldog on JLA, but is quickly countered by an over the shoulder Judo throw, following it with a neck snapping twist to Punk's head. The WWE superstar is lifeless as JLA again attempts to leave the ring. "NOOOO!!!!!! This isn't supposed to happen like this!!! DAMMIT!!!" Seeney screams while again making Punk rise to life. JLA takes Punk down with a roundhouse leg sweep, then restrains him with a nasty looking ankle lock submission. Punk's will is tested as his ankle is twisted into an increasingly sickening angle. He tries to reach the ropes, which would force JLA to release the hold, but JLA Batman drags Punk back to the center of the ring. His agony is palpable, and reaches out to the crowd for any kind of moral support. Chris Seeney instictively reaches back to his hero, unwittingly giving Punk his unlimited power. Punk feels the energy flow into him, and looks back to JLA. "I got em... we can end the ruse now." says Punk as JLA releases the ankle lock hold. "What a mark." declares the wrestler. Punk gets on one knee as he yells "IT'S CLOBBERIN TIME!!!" to the heavens. Seeney knows whats coming and tries to change reality, but quickly realizes his mistake when nothing happens. Joker sees Chris' stunned face, and decides to beat a hasty retreat. "Good times kid, but i believe this is where we part ways. Good luck!" laughs The Joker while makes his way through the crowd. JLA Batman uses the advanced optics in his mask to pinpoint The Joker, and buries a Batarang in the back of his skull. C.M. Punk is getting close to a still flabberghasted Chris Seeney. "I give up! You guys win! I promise! I'm sorry!" begs Chris. Punk accepts the apology, and spares his biggest fan. "I'm... I'm not dead? I knew you wouldn't let me down! Um... Can I have your autograph?" asks Seeney. C.M. Punk shakes his head, but still decides to honor the request. "Sure, sure... I suppose I do kind of owe you one." concedes Punk. "YES!!! BEST IN THE WORLD!!!" shouts Chris with his arms crossed above his head in an "X" formation. "Yeah, yeah... say kid, you got a pen?" questions C.M. Punk. "Huh? Oh... um, yeah!" says Chris as he reaches into his pocket. JLA Batman tosses a Batarang that embeds in the skull of Chris Seeney. C.M Punk turns around with his arms raised to either side in disbelief. "What the f*ck dude?" asks Punk. "He was reaching for a weapon, i just know it." explains JLA. "My friend, I think you might just have some anger issues that you need to overcome. Have you ever heard of the Straight Edge Society?" questions the WWE superstar. "... Go on..." replies JLA Batman as the two begin to leave the arena.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Resurrection Database
I've sent out an email to everyone in the league that has the compiled Resurrection Database which we can use at the Season Seven Draft when we use the resurrection points we all accured this past season.
Enjoy.
Enjoy.
Monday, September 23, 2013
BREAKING: Kennelz Owner to Step Down
Word out of The Kennelz locker room is that Original FFL Team Owner Matt Oblak is stepping down and relinquishing control of The Kennelz. Matt would like to thank all of The Watchers both regular and guest for their six years of amazing matches. The Kennelz will always remember their championship run that culminated witIh a victory over our noble Commish, but the time is right to step away. Matt would like to wish good luck to the entire league and hopes the Kennelz are placed in willing and capable hands.
Sunday, September 22, 2013
The season 6 All Star game.
Ladies and gentlemen, WELCOME to the 2013 Fantasy fantasy league ALL STAR GAME! A night where inter-divisional rivalries are set by the wayside, and is all about the George Lucas conference going head to head with the Stan Lee conference. A night where anything can happen! I'm your host, "Handsome" Harry Halliday! Now, let's get down to the action!
We're start off with our first blockbuster annoucement, this match will not be a 15 on 15 match. No, this year's match is going to be bigger! We're going to have an 18 ON 18 free for all. Let's take a look at the line ups!
First off, we have the Stan Lee conference! Representing them will be-Red Son Superman, Justice Legion Alpha Batman, Black Lantern Darth Vader, Poseidon, Vampire Yoda, Spartacus, Dexter Morgan, the Annoying Orange, Mimic, Yoda, Vampire Kang, Professor Charles Xavier, C.M. Punk, Allia Atreides, Black Bolt, White Lantern Batman, Green Arrow and the final member- write in candidate The Eradicator!
A very impressive line-up. Now let's take a look at the George Lucas' group of players.
For the Lucas conference, we have- Lord Voldemort, Superman, The Joker, Black Lantern Yoda, White Lantern Kyle Rayner, Real Man, Nekron, Han Solo: Rogue Jedi, Chris Seeney, Emperor Joker, Space Ghost, Prowl(imus Prime), Sauron, George Washington, Dora the Explorer, Darth Maul w/ Droid legs, Robimus Prime, and Superman Jr.
Both teams look ready to go. We're waiting for the signal and...hold on folks. One of the Mickey Mouse Grindhouse's All Stars, Nekron, is motioning that he has something to say. He's got a microphone, so let's take it down to Nekron.
"DIE!"
OH MY GOD! I CAN NOT BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED! WITH A SINGLE WORD NEKRON HAS KILLED EVERY SINGLE ALL STAR! IT LOOKS LIKE THIS ONE IS OVER BEFORE IT EVEN STARTED! GOOD GOD! THAT.....that sonofabitch is smiling. He's going for the trophy, Folks, Nekron may have had a checked career for most of his time in the league, but there;s no denying the raw, untapped menace that is...
Wait. Wait just a second! It's the council of Watchers. They've descended on the scene and are preventing Nekron from claiming victory, and Nekron is not happy about this. He looks like he's about to-
NEKRON IS DOWN. Joshatu has knocked Nekron on his ass, and now we have every single All Star down and out. The Wtachers are looking around and have huddled up... It looks like....yes... they've elected to let the Watcher who was originally scheduled to watch this contest-Krisatu to address this situation.
"Ladies and gentlemen. In the interest of fairness, and because it's best for business, it has been decided that the 2013 All Star game is not going to be a game this year. Rather, let me welcome you all to the 2013 ALL STAR WILDCARD TOURNAMENT: DEADLY ALLIANCES! That's right! What we're going to do is have pairs of All Stars from each division teaming up and to battle the other conference in a variety of different terrains that will ensure a fair and balanced outcome. The opening round will consist of the following match ups:
Lord Voldemort and White Lantern Kyle Rayner vs Vampire Kang and White Lantern Batman
We're start off with our first blockbuster annoucement, this match will not be a 15 on 15 match. No, this year's match is going to be bigger! We're going to have an 18 ON 18 free for all. Let's take a look at the line ups!
First off, we have the Stan Lee conference! Representing them will be-Red Son Superman, Justice Legion Alpha Batman, Black Lantern Darth Vader, Poseidon, Vampire Yoda, Spartacus, Dexter Morgan, the Annoying Orange, Mimic, Yoda, Vampire Kang, Professor Charles Xavier, C.M. Punk, Allia Atreides, Black Bolt, White Lantern Batman, Green Arrow and the final member- write in candidate The Eradicator!
A very impressive line-up. Now let's take a look at the George Lucas' group of players.
For the Lucas conference, we have- Lord Voldemort, Superman, The Joker, Black Lantern Yoda, White Lantern Kyle Rayner, Real Man, Nekron, Han Solo: Rogue Jedi, Chris Seeney, Emperor Joker, Space Ghost, Prowl(imus Prime), Sauron, George Washington, Dora the Explorer, Darth Maul w/ Droid legs, Robimus Prime, and Superman Jr.
Both teams look ready to go. We're waiting for the signal and...hold on folks. One of the Mickey Mouse Grindhouse's All Stars, Nekron, is motioning that he has something to say. He's got a microphone, so let's take it down to Nekron.
"DIE!"
OH MY GOD! I CAN NOT BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED! WITH A SINGLE WORD NEKRON HAS KILLED EVERY SINGLE ALL STAR! IT LOOKS LIKE THIS ONE IS OVER BEFORE IT EVEN STARTED! GOOD GOD! THAT.....that sonofabitch is smiling. He's going for the trophy, Folks, Nekron may have had a checked career for most of his time in the league, but there;s no denying the raw, untapped menace that is...
Wait. Wait just a second! It's the council of Watchers. They've descended on the scene and are preventing Nekron from claiming victory, and Nekron is not happy about this. He looks like he's about to-
NEKRON IS DOWN. Joshatu has knocked Nekron on his ass, and now we have every single All Star down and out. The Wtachers are looking around and have huddled up... It looks like....yes... they've elected to let the Watcher who was originally scheduled to watch this contest-Krisatu to address this situation.
"Ladies and gentlemen. In the interest of fairness, and because it's best for business, it has been decided that the 2013 All Star game is not going to be a game this year. Rather, let me welcome you all to the 2013 ALL STAR WILDCARD TOURNAMENT: DEADLY ALLIANCES! That's right! What we're going to do is have pairs of All Stars from each division teaming up and to battle the other conference in a variety of different terrains that will ensure a fair and balanced outcome. The opening round will consist of the following match ups:
Lord Voldemort and White Lantern Kyle Rayner vs Vampire Kang and White Lantern Batman
Superman and Darth Maul (w/ Droid legs) vs Yoda and Green Arrow
The Joker and Real Man vs Prof. Xavier and the Annoying Orange
Black Lantern Yoda and George Washington vs The Eradicator and Dexter Morgan
Nekron and Dora the Explorer vs Red Son Superman and Spartacus
Han Solo: Rogue Jedi and Sauron vs Black Lantern Darth Vader and Poseidon
Chris Seeney and Emperor Joker vs C.M. Punk and Justice Legion Alpha Batman
Space Ghost and Robimus Prime vs Black Bolt and Allia Atreides
Prowl(imus Prime) and Superman Jr vs Vampire Yoda and Mimic"
WOW! You never know what's gonna happen here in the FFL! We're gonna take a little bit to finish dotting a few i's and crossing some t's, but we'll get right back to the action! Keep it locked right here to ESPN eight, THE OCHO as we get ready to kick off the beginning of the epic confrontation!
Sunday, September 1, 2013
The Season 6 All Star Ballot
As always, The All Star Ballot will be open to anyone who wishes to participate (but please only vote once).
You may vote for up to fifteen characters from each league (thirty total). You do not have to vote from a character from each team, but when the final tally is taken, we will make sure that every team is represented with at least one character. You can vote here in the comment section, or send me an email, a text, a voicemail, a facebook message, tweet, FedEx, psychic message, certified mail, or you can stop by my house and give it to me in person where I will be sure to trade you at least one beer for it. Happy voting everybody, and remember you don't need to be in the league to vote, so if you want your girlfriend, husband, grandmother, roommate, or chiropractor to vote in this, than feel free.
Oh, and don't forget... Write in candidates are not only welcome; but you are also welcome to campaign for them, right here on the message board. This is the only match in the league where the deaths don't count; so have fun with it everybody.
Here is the ballot...
Lucas Conference
The Horsemen of Apokolips
1. Lord Voldemort
2. Superman
3. Tommy Oliver: The Green Ranger
4. The Joker
5. Black Lantern Yoda
Shemalabama's Shit-Kickers
1. White Lantern Kyle Rayner
2.(Zombie) Galactus
3. Real Man
4. Predator #33
5. Flamebird
Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse
1. Nekron
2. Han Solo: Rogue Jedi
3. Black Lantern Mike Sroka
4. Chris Seney
5. Red Lantern and Star Sapphire Guy Gardner
The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets
1. Emperor Joker
2. Walter Day
3. White Lantern Hal Jordan
4. Bowser: King of Koopa (w/ Orange Lantern Ring)
5. Space Ghost
George Washington's Slaves
1. Prowl(imus Prime)
2. Sauron
3. George Washington
4. Skaar: Son of Hulk
5. Black Lantern Han Solo
President Barack Obama and Taylor Swift's Red Army
1. Earth 2 Superman
2. Force Adept #6
3. Jasper Hale
4. Dora The Explorer
5. Jen Linley
Real Man's Rabble-Rousers
1. Veronica Mars
2. Maria Hill
3. Phil Coulson
4. Darth Maul (w/ Droid legs)
5. Robimus Prime
The Empire
1. Superman Jr.
2. Rick Grimes
3. Black Zero (DC)
4. Black Zero (Mega Man)
5. White Lantern Swamp Thing
Lee Conference
TEAM
1. Red Son Superman
2. (Justice Legion Alpha) Batman
3. Black Lantern Incredible Hulk
4. (Justice Legion Alpha) Superman
5. Black Lantern Darth Vader
Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers
1. Red Hulk
2. Fantastic Max
3. FX
4. Poseidon
5. Vampire Yoda
Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
1. Spartacus
2. The Lochness Monster
3. General Dorf
4. Lobo the Duck
5. Crixus
Griswold's Nut-busters
1. Slym Dayspring
2. Dexter Morgan
3. Annoying Orange
4. Gambit
5. (Age of Apocalypse) Nightcrawler
Team Sleeping Pussy
1. (Adult) Kid Marvelman
2. Skrull #23
3. Skrull #26
4. Mimic
5. Spider-girl (Mattie Franklin)
The Royal Highness
1. Yoda
2. Vampire Kang
3. Apollo
4. Prof. X
5. The Phantom Stranger
Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve
1. C.M. Punk
2. Allia Atreides
3. Black Bolt
4. Navy SEAL #47
5. Mandalorian Justin Oblak
Layanderlett's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family
1. Velma
2. Eugene H. Krabs
3. White Lantern Batman
4. Green Arrow
5. Juggernaut
You may vote for up to fifteen characters from each league (thirty total). You do not have to vote from a character from each team, but when the final tally is taken, we will make sure that every team is represented with at least one character. You can vote here in the comment section, or send me an email, a text, a voicemail, a facebook message, tweet, FedEx, psychic message, certified mail, or you can stop by my house and give it to me in person where I will be sure to trade you at least one beer for it. Happy voting everybody, and remember you don't need to be in the league to vote, so if you want your girlfriend, husband, grandmother, roommate, or chiropractor to vote in this, than feel free.
Oh, and don't forget... Write in candidates are not only welcome; but you are also welcome to campaign for them, right here on the message board. This is the only match in the league where the deaths don't count; so have fun with it everybody.
Here is the ballot...
Lucas Conference
The Horsemen of Apokolips
1. Lord Voldemort
2. Superman
3. Tommy Oliver: The Green Ranger
4. The Joker
5. Black Lantern Yoda
Shemalabama's Shit-Kickers
1. White Lantern Kyle Rayner
2.(Zombie) Galactus
3. Real Man
4. Predator #33
5. Flamebird
Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse
1. Nekron
2. Han Solo: Rogue Jedi
3. Black Lantern Mike Sroka
4. Chris Seney
5. Red Lantern and Star Sapphire Guy Gardner
The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets
1. Emperor Joker
2. Walter Day
3. White Lantern Hal Jordan
4. Bowser: King of Koopa (w/ Orange Lantern Ring)
5. Space Ghost
George Washington's Slaves
1. Prowl(imus Prime)
2. Sauron
3. George Washington
4. Skaar: Son of Hulk
5. Black Lantern Han Solo
President Barack Obama and Taylor Swift's Red Army
1. Earth 2 Superman
2. Force Adept #6
3. Jasper Hale
4. Dora The Explorer
5. Jen Linley
Real Man's Rabble-Rousers
1. Veronica Mars
2. Maria Hill
3. Phil Coulson
4. Darth Maul (w/ Droid legs)
5. Robimus Prime
The Empire
1. Superman Jr.
2. Rick Grimes
3. Black Zero (DC)
4. Black Zero (Mega Man)
5. White Lantern Swamp Thing
Lee Conference
TEAM
1. Red Son Superman
2. (Justice Legion Alpha) Batman
3. Black Lantern Incredible Hulk
4. (Justice Legion Alpha) Superman
5. Black Lantern Darth Vader
Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers
1. Red Hulk
2. Fantastic Max
3. FX
4. Poseidon
5. Vampire Yoda
Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
1. Spartacus
2. The Lochness Monster
3. General Dorf
4. Lobo the Duck
5. Crixus
Griswold's Nut-busters
1. Slym Dayspring
2. Dexter Morgan
3. Annoying Orange
4. Gambit
5. (Age of Apocalypse) Nightcrawler
Team Sleeping Pussy
1. (Adult) Kid Marvelman
2. Skrull #23
3. Skrull #26
4. Mimic
5. Spider-girl (Mattie Franklin)
The Royal Highness
1. Yoda
2. Vampire Kang
3. Apollo
4. Prof. X
5. The Phantom Stranger
Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve
1. C.M. Punk
2. Allia Atreides
3. Black Bolt
4. Navy SEAL #47
5. Mandalorian Justin Oblak
Layanderlett's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family
1. Velma
2. Eugene H. Krabs
3. White Lantern Batman
4. Green Arrow
5. Juggernaut
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Spoiler Sport Season 6 Wrap-up!
Due to circumstances beyond our control, the anticipated Universe Bowl Edition of Spoiler Sport could not be completed in time. We regret to disappoint our fans, but an emergency situation forced our hand. We feel the video of our last rehearsal will shed light on this subject. Rest assured, we will be back and better than ever for next season!
Hello everyone, Cotton McKnight here. Welcome to Spoiler Sport: Season Six Wrap-Up. Here on the Ocho! The dust has settled and we have crowned a new champion for this year! Congratulations to The Horsemen of Apokolips for besting The Royal Highness en route to winning their second Universe Bowl and setting a new standard for the FFL!
This legendary match began with The Royal Highness' Mysterio boldly declaring victory for his team! This was not the case, as the vile Horsemen had other ideas. We all know what The Horsemen are capable of, but it seems that they sank to new depths of depravity against the benevolent Highness. Indeed, the actions of the despicable HoA reached new lows this year, none more putrid than in the Universe Bowl. The UB Trophy shall be forever tainted thanks to...
"CUT!" yells Ocho Director #17. "Cotton... Is everything ok? You don't seem like yourself today." Cotton McKnight begins to flip the pages of his script, and rapidly scans his lines. "I'm sorry, but this script doesn't seem quite right." explains Cotton. "What do you mean? It's great so far!" counters the director. "Sir, with all due respect, it's not great, its not even good. We here at Spoiler Sport strive to bring our loyal viewers an unbiased account of the FFL, not this... whatever this is. Did we hire some new writers or something?" asks Cotton. "No Cotton, its the same people we've had for quite some time now. I don't see what the problem is, from what I can tell, everything looks great so far!" replies the director. "You don't see a problem? Well, let me help. First of all, look at the adjectives describing the teams. The descriptions of The Horsemen of Apokolips are getting more negative by the minute. And I've read ahead. It only gets worse from here. By the second page, it's already devolved into a hit piece against the Horsemen. And look at this! By the third page, it's turned into a poem called "The Horsemen Can Suck It" Finally, the last page is just a string of nonsensical curse words. If this is what you call news, count me out." explains Cotton McKnight. Ocho Director #17 covers the microphone with his hand. "Cotton, I know what you are saying, and I don't like it one bit either, but this came straight from the top. We don't have a choice. I'm sorry." states the director. Cotton is stunned for a moment before gaining his composure. "Listen, I don't know what he's hoping to accomplish here, but I won't be a part of it. I'm a journalist, not some hack that will read anything put in front of him. I'm a newsman, dammit!" says McKnight angrily. "Cotton, i know. Our hands are tied. I'm sorry." says the director with a defeated look on his face. "I won't do it. This isn't right." Cotton says defiantly. "Cotton, please... think about what you are saying... there's nothing I can do to change your mind?" inquires the director. "As long as I'm a part of Spoiler Sport, this garbage will never see the light of day." declares an angry McKnight. "Well, Cotton... have it your way. You are no longer a part of Spoiler Sport. You're fired."
Hello everyone, Cotton McKnight here. Welcome to Spoiler Sport: Season Six Wrap-Up. Here on the Ocho! The dust has settled and we have crowned a new champion for this year! Congratulations to The Horsemen of Apokolips for besting The Royal Highness en route to winning their second Universe Bowl and setting a new standard for the FFL!
This legendary match began with The Royal Highness' Mysterio boldly declaring victory for his team! This was not the case, as the vile Horsemen had other ideas. We all know what The Horsemen are capable of, but it seems that they sank to new depths of depravity against the benevolent Highness. Indeed, the actions of the despicable HoA reached new lows this year, none more putrid than in the Universe Bowl. The UB Trophy shall be forever tainted thanks to...
"CUT!" yells Ocho Director #17. "Cotton... Is everything ok? You don't seem like yourself today." Cotton McKnight begins to flip the pages of his script, and rapidly scans his lines. "I'm sorry, but this script doesn't seem quite right." explains Cotton. "What do you mean? It's great so far!" counters the director. "Sir, with all due respect, it's not great, its not even good. We here at Spoiler Sport strive to bring our loyal viewers an unbiased account of the FFL, not this... whatever this is. Did we hire some new writers or something?" asks Cotton. "No Cotton, its the same people we've had for quite some time now. I don't see what the problem is, from what I can tell, everything looks great so far!" replies the director. "You don't see a problem? Well, let me help. First of all, look at the adjectives describing the teams. The descriptions of The Horsemen of Apokolips are getting more negative by the minute. And I've read ahead. It only gets worse from here. By the second page, it's already devolved into a hit piece against the Horsemen. And look at this! By the third page, it's turned into a poem called "The Horsemen Can Suck It" Finally, the last page is just a string of nonsensical curse words. If this is what you call news, count me out." explains Cotton McKnight. Ocho Director #17 covers the microphone with his hand. "Cotton, I know what you are saying, and I don't like it one bit either, but this came straight from the top. We don't have a choice. I'm sorry." states the director. Cotton is stunned for a moment before gaining his composure. "Listen, I don't know what he's hoping to accomplish here, but I won't be a part of it. I'm a journalist, not some hack that will read anything put in front of him. I'm a newsman, dammit!" says McKnight angrily. "Cotton, i know. Our hands are tied. I'm sorry." says the director with a defeated look on his face. "I won't do it. This isn't right." Cotton says defiantly. "Cotton, please... think about what you are saying... there's nothing I can do to change your mind?" inquires the director. "As long as I'm a part of Spoiler Sport, this garbage will never see the light of day." declares an angry McKnight. "Well, Cotton... have it your way. You are no longer a part of Spoiler Sport. You're fired."
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CONCLUSION
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS
AND ARE CROWNED UNIVERSE BOWL VI CHAMPIONS!!!
Sole Survivor: Life Model Decoy #3
UNIVERSE BOWL VI: EPILOGUE 2: DECEPTION AND A DECOY
“Tell me
the story,” the shadow’s voice echoes.
“After surveying the decimation remaining in the city, as well as verifying that all combatants were dead through the sky placards, I headed straight to this locker room. That is my story. I am now here as the sole survivor of Universe Bowl VI. . . Quentin Beck. . . Mysterio. . . Life Model Decoy #3. . . of the Horsemen of Apokolips.
Mysterio commences his tale.
“When
the Technodrome was first struck by the U.S.S. Enterprise, my particular
designation was not fully implemented.
My robotic form was both nebulous and without a functional
appearance. Notwithstanding these
issues, the enhancements melded into my form by the Anti-Monitor allowed me to
move without obtaining a specific, relevant code which would allow me to mimic
a particular subject’s appearance. Like
the other decoys, the augmentation provided by the Anti-Monitor, as well as
enrichments supplied by the High Evolutionary, I was able to function as an
independent participant, without the necessity of a ‘controller.’
“I
was placed into a Technodrome module before the launch of the vessel, knowing
that a certain event would create the opportunity for my form’s release. The module was pre-programmed to jettison at
an exact time to assure my arrival at the city region. Thanos, although knowing of my existence, was
not able to indicate any knowledge in case the opponent was able to position a
listening device in the ship, which would deliver my existence to the enemy and
foil any plan of secrecy necessary to fool the other side. To assure that not only sound, but also additional
senses would not destroy the secret, certain members of my team, being
particularly Thanos, made sure that no life signals would be obtained from any
instrument should either vessel, especially the Enterprise
“There
was a calculated risk that the module would not allow me the opportunity to locate
anyone and I would sit without having been utilized by my team. Nonetheless, it was assumed that since the
cityscape is often a focal point of Playoff Planet matches, especially with
this particular Watcher, it would be safe to conclude that my form would eventually
stumble across someone from the other team to mimic. I was to sustain the
amorphous form until I was able to locate my prey.
“After
crashing into a building, the viewport of the ship was destroyed, allowing me
to escape the module, without having to trigger the locking mechanism of the
ship. Thus, an investigation of the site
would prove inconclusive as to whether a life form was actually in the
module. By a magnificent coincidence, the
illusionist Mysterio was alone and heard my unprogrammed body near the
vessel. I killed him, taking his form
and thus, became a functional and exact double of Quentin Beck. My next objective was to infiltrate the Royal
Highness and position myself to assure my team’s victory.
“I
eventually was herded back into the fold by the remaining members of the
Sinister Six. My speech patterns, scent,
body language and thought patterns, as well as all other biological indicators
were perfected such that the Highness, even with all of their telepaths, were
unable to suspect my infiltration into their fold.
“Near
the final battle, to assure myself of survival, I allowed my thought pattern to
be explored by Exodus, who recognized me as being on his own team. Instantly knowing that if he hesitated, he
would permit the enemy to realize who I actually was, the mutant ‘pushed’ me
into the building and created a force shield around my form which managed to
sustain me until the finale between Professor Charles Xavier and Joseph, even
upon Exodus’ demise.
“Based
upon the calculations provided by my internal wiring, I concluded that although
I may have joined the finale, my opponents, if discovering my true form, would most
assuredly destroy me. A mere
illusionist, even with some enhanced powers, would not be able to accomplish a
victorious resolution over the remaining combatant. Thus, I waited until the battle was completed
between all participants and could remove myself from the encasement
surrounding my form.
“After surveying the decimation remaining in the city, as well as verifying that all combatants were dead through the sky placards, I headed straight to this locker room. That is my story. I am now here as the sole survivor of Universe Bowl VI. . . Quentin Beck. . . Mysterio. . . Life Model Decoy #3. . . of the Horsemen of Apokolips.
Sunday, August 18, 2013
UNIVERSE BOWL VI EXCLUSIVE: A BEARY SPECIAL STORY
Wish Bear, Friend Bear and Bedtime
Bear playfully frolic in a flowery field located on the Horsemen of Apokolips
compound.
“I’m so glad we have the opportunity
to participate in the Universe Bowl,” exclaims an excited Bedtime Bear.
“Me, too,” says an enthusiastic
Friend Bear. “Like my namesake, I sure
want to make a ton of new friends!”
“Maybe if we holds our paws and wish
together, it will happen!” states Wish Bear.
The three Care Bears hold onto each
other’s paws, close their eyes and wish with all their might that they befriend
new people on the battlefield.
***
“You must accomplish this task,”
demands One Above All to the High Evolutionary.
“It is done,” answers High
Evolutionary. “The cloud will achieve
our goal.”
***
As the bears continue to play in the
pansies and daisies, a purple cloud floats through the field in which the
creatures amuse themselves.
“That cloud looks a little scary,”
whimpers Wish Bear.
“Remember Wish, they’re only clouds
and clouds can’t hurt you,” says Bedtime Bear.
“Okay!” says Wish Bear. “I’ll be brave!”
The cloud magically settles over the
area. The bears breathe in the vapors
contained within the fog and suddenly retch.
All bears scream in agony and throw up as they feel their essences being
transformed into something more.
“What the f#ck kinda sh%t was
that?!?!” shouts Friend Bear.
“Shut your punka$$ mouth, or I’m
gonna put a cap in your b#%cha$$,” shrieks Wish Bear.
The bears begin to fight amongst
each other until they exhaust themselves.
They look at one another and laugh.
“Let’s head back,” says Friend
Bear. “They’re going to call us real
soon to the Bowl.”
The trio head back to the compound
and see gas being fueled into the Artrip pimpmobile.
“This b#%cha$$ ride is gonna be mine
and I’m gonna pimp it out,” Friend Bear states.
“You can hold shotgun,” instructs
Friend to Bedtime. “I’m driving and Wish
can push the pedals.”
“Deal,” states Bedtime and Wish in
unison.
“I’m going to beef up the tuneage
with some block rockin’ beats,” exclaims Bedtime Bear.
“And don’t forget to strap,” say
Wish Bear.
The three bears hum along to a Black
Eyed Peas’ song as they commence their tasks.
They smile and anticipate the forthcoming battle.
UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXXIII: THE AWAKENING
A scattering of boards is tossed
aside as the form of Mysterio shambles through the building’s door. He sees both the decimation and devastation
which now litter the cityscape. The
illusionist attempts to clear his head and begins his journey.
UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXXII: MAESTRO AND MAGNETISM
“You have a bit of blood flowing
from your nostrils, Joseph,” says Xavier as he makes a wiping gesture.
Joseph cleans his nose on the back of his arm.
Joseph cleans his nose on the back of his arm.
“It happens in war, Charles,” quips
Joseph, “people die; sides lose; all a part of the game.”
“This is not a game, my friend,”
corrects Professor X. “You are
dying. The strain suffered by you
pushing yourself too far in the creation of your monster has wounded both body
and mind.”
“My death shall not be in vain,” replies
Joseph, thinking how he came to this point in his life, realizing that it all
started with the loss of the bears to his weaponized submarine.
The veins on Joseph’s forehead begin
to bulge as pieces of his previous monster are melded together with
Metroplex. Professor X will not allow
the enemy to accomplish his goal of creating another monstrosity. Xavier focuses all of his attention on
Joseph’s brain and projects a psionic blast at the already weakened mind of
Joseph. Droplets of blood begin to tear
from Joseph’s eyes.
“I know what you have done to me,
Charles!” shouts Joseph. “It’s not
enough!!!”
Joseph’s partially created invention
fires a laser at the hover chair of Xavier. Professor X is thrown from his
transport as the chair explodes and then is vacuumed into Joseph’s creation.
“Everything you have is mine,
Charles,” states Joseph. “Everything!!!”
Through bloodshot eyes, Joseph
throws his left arm up and a piece of his beast, previously Xavier’s chair,
flies from its formation, piercing the side of Professor X. Xavier screams is agony. In response, Xavier unleashes a mind blast
upon Joseph, who wails at the overloaded information scrambling through his
brain. The blast is followed by another
psionic blast aimed at Joseph’s mind.
Joseph feels the effects of the two blows as blood begins to stream out
of his ears now.
“No more!” shouts Joseph as his
monster falls upon an immobile Charles Xavier, crushing the life from the
mutant.
A grin creeps across Joseph’s
face. He attempts to walk a few steps
and stumbles, falling to the ground.
Blood flows from the clone’s eyes, ears and nose. The last sight Joseph sees before closing his
eyes forever is the heads of three smiling bears staring at him. Joseph dies with a smile on his face.
Friday, August 16, 2013
UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXXI: FURY OF THE PHOENIX
The two Omega level mutants create a
stargate. The portal places them
directly next to Eradicator. Before the
true battle begins, the two release controlled projections of cosmic fire which
destroys the blaster in the hands of Eradicator. If the women are to be bested by this
opponent, it will be at the hands of the Kryptonian himself and not by a weapon
transported from another realm.
Eradicator reacts at the loss of his
weapon and utilizes his super speed and strength in a battery of strikes
against the Phoenix-strewn women. The
pair’s battered bodies hurtle through buildings. The duo shakes off the initial effects of the
battle.
“We took down Metroplex,” states
Grey, “this should be a piece of cake.”
Summers screams. “My body. . . dangerously close to breaking.
. . too much power flowing through me!”
“Hold it together, Hope!” instructs
Grey. “We can do this!”
Eradicator calculates the numerous
scenarios associated with the match and attempts to derive how they all conclude. Eradicator decides to focus on the weakest
link of the pair due to her apparent inability to properly control the powers
within her; the target is Hope Summers. He
will attempt to further overload the powers of the mutant.
“Hello, my voodoo doll,” Eradicator says to Summers.
“Welcome to Hell!” replies Grey in
the place of her friend.
The battle between the three
combatants decimates the nearby structures as they unleash upon each other a
hurricane of fury. They are relentless
in trying to obtain their mutual objectives in destroying the enemy. Eradicator
repetitiously pummels Summers, while Grey focuses on the protection of her
liege. After several painstaking
skirmishes, Summers, although a mutant with an ability of unspecified limits, begins
to boil to a point of no return. The
twin-Phoenix powers, although enough to destroy Eradicator, proves too much for
herself.
Summers lets loose with enough power
to rip Eradicator apart. She turns to
Grey and smiles after accomplishing which so many others were unable to do. After a moment of silence, Summers screams;
the cosmic powers seem to be ripping their host apart.
“It’s
too much!” shouts Summers.
“You
can control it!” screams Grey. “You have
to for us all!”
“I’m sorry. . .” whispers Summers as
the double dose of Phoenix Force overloads and disintegrates both her and Grey
in the explosion. The landscape around
the area appears to have fallen in a hopeless apocalypse.
The
smoke and dust settle. The shadows of two
combatants can be seen as the fog dissipates.
“Charles.
. .” says a maddened Joseph.
“Joseph.
. .” replies a calm Xavier.
UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXX: FLIGHT OF THE PHOENIX
Metroplex scans the remaining
inhabitants of the city complex. The
robot computes that he alone has the capacity to complete his team’s endeavor
and he will attempt to accomplish said task. The Autobot locates Joseph. As he is about to destroy the mutant, he is
struck by cosmic fire.
Phoenix
“Why don’t you pick on someone your
own size,” demands Phoenix
“I would if I could find one,"
responds Metroplex as he blasts Phoenix
“Looks like you can use some help,”
states Hope Summers creeping toward her teammate.
“Girl power,” smirks Grey.
Summers uses her mimicry powers to
parallel the essence of Grey as the Phoenix
“Okay?” asks Grey.
“Okay,” stammers Summers.
“Let’s rock!” shouts Grey as the two
women take to the air.
The giant unleashes a barrage of
weaponry at the flying mutants. The pair
is struck simultaneously. Due to the
sheer force of the fusillade provided by Metroplex, the two are thrown through
several buildings. The duo eventually slows down and shakes off the blows
produced by Metroplex.
“Ready?” asks Grey.
“As much as I can be,” answers a
shaky Summers.
Before the women are able to
instigate their plan of destruction, they are both backsided by the arms of
Metroplex. The women’s bodies crunch to
the ground. Metroplex is about to finish
his enemies, when the two hold each other’s hands and together, psionically
manipulate the matter that composes Metroplex.
The two women shake at the strain caused by this action, but they manage
to both rearrange and disintegrate the robot at a subatomic level. The Autobot’s massive body quakes and
explodes. The two women are victorious,
but seriously drained at the intensity of the battle.
In unison they look to the sky and
see Eradicator.
“No time like the present,” mutters
a tired Grey.
A weary Summers sighs, dusts off the
dirt on her costume and readies for battle.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXIX: A HIDEOUS HORROR
“Behold the birth of my creation!”
shouts Joseph.
The shambling mound that trudges
toward the metropolis is the size of a small city. The stench and decay emanating from the horror
is overwhelming. The bulk is a hybrid of
mechanical and organic components, perfectly blended together into a massive,
mountainous monstrosity.
The living embodiment of Autobot City
“Yes. Yes! Yes!!!!” screams a maddened Joseph.
Metroplex locates the master of his
enemy and fires at the mutant clone.
Although Joseph manages to dodge the blasts by throwing a protective
shield around him using the magnetic frequencies of the area, he is distracted
and loses his controlling link with his monster. This allows Metroplex to gain the advantage
in the battle. Metroplex unleashes all
of his weaponry upon Joseph’s abnormality.
The formation is ripped apart.
Joseph screams in dismay as his
behemoth is destroyed.
UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXVIII: TITAN TRASH TALKING
“You have been a thorn on the side
of this team for far too long now,” says BL Thanos.
Eradicator uses his
computer-enhanced mind to compute and process information at incredible speed
to determine what he must do to best his adversary. He decides that he must whip Thanos into a
frenzy. If the alien cannot think
properly while in this fight, it will open several opportunities for Eradicator
to win this battle. If thinking accurately, Thanos’ superior intellect will disallow
any upper hand that Eradicator may have in the skirmish.
“Just doing my job, prune face,” answers
Eradicator.
BL Thanos grumbles in response.
“Seems like I know now why you are
called the Mad Titan,” quips Eradicator.
Thanos bellows. The alien has had enough of the adolescent insults
and projects a vast amount of cosmic energy at Eradicator. The Kryptonian absorbs the brunt of the
blast, but the pressure still throws him across the sky and through a large
city structure.
“A moniker I claim as a badge of
honor,” states BL Thanos.
Thanos rushes over to Eradicator and
utilizes his skills as a master in hand-to-hand combat. Eradicator blocks several of the Titanian
Eternal’s strikes, but he is not able to deflect all. A wounded Eradicator hobbles away, but shakes
off the damage and readies himself for battle.
“I am over two hundred thousand
years old, my Accutane-infested adversary.
As I have survived all these years, I will also reign triumphant today. I have already proven my worth several times
in this match and will continue to do so again.”
Eradicator swoops through the sky
and grabs Thanos in a bear hug. Due to
the grip, Thanos is unable to project any cosmic blasts. On the other hand, Eradicator uses the powers
coded from the genetic template of Superman and uses his heat vision to sear
the mutant’s face and blind him.
Eradicator throws a hobbled Thanos onto the ground where the beast takes
out close to a mile of concrete and asphalt.
The two continue to grapple in
various ways, laying devastation throughout the entire town.
“One blind Titan; One blind Titan;
See how he whimpers; See how he whimpers. . .” chides Eradicator.
Although unable to see, an enraged Thanos
decides to use both the powers of his ring and cosmic abilities to gain the
upper hand. Before Eradicator is able to
complete his self-revised children’s poem, Thanos actually manages to bat
Eradicator through several towers with a slap of his ring’s projectiles and blasts
of cosmic energy. Eradicator lands on
his knees and jettisons back toward Thanos.
Eradicator decides to quash any ability of Thanos to gain back his
senses and uses his powers to retrieve Kryptonian technology through both space
and time.
“I believe one of your own teammates
coined this phrase – yipee ki yay motherf#cker.”
The weapon Eradicator acquired
blasts Thanos. Thanos screams as he is
ripped apart; the Mad Titan is killed.
Eradicator smiles and computes that if he continues to lay waste to the
Horsemen, he may be looked upon as the most valuable player of the Universe
Bowl. It would be an honor to sustain
him through next year’s matches.
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