S6W3 – TEAM vs Layanderlett's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family

TEAM is: Red Sun Superman, Supergirl (Linda Danavers), Justice Leagion Alpha Aquaman, Aqua-Mariner, Emerald Weapon, Sin (Final Fantasy X), Ulmo, Anna Pilkinton w/ sea-doo, Lucas Pilkinton w/ sea-doo, Cock Sneak Goomba #6

Layanderlett's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family is : (Nathan Bridger, Lucas Wolcenzak, Dr. Westphalin, Commander John Ford, LBenjamin Krieg, Chief Manilow Lorcker, Tim O'Neil, Lt. James Brady, Dagwood, Anthony Pickolo, and Tresure Troll #17) in The Sea Quest Submarine, Darwin the Dolphin, Seaworm #8, Patrick Star, Eugene H. Krabs, Black Lantern Hydro Man, Sharkticon #21-26, White Lantern Batman w/ resurrected Godzilla.

“All Rise” the bailiff says, “The Honorable Fizzatu presiding.”

“Would the defendant and his attorney please rise…” states the judge.  “Mr. Eugene H. Krabs, you have been charged numerous war crimes in complete violation of International Humanitarian Law including: murder in the first degree, the ill-treatment of prisoners of war, the killing of prisoners, the wanton destruction of an underwater city comprised of scores of innocent marine life, and devastation not justified by military, or civilian necessity.  How does your client plead, Mr. Beckerman?”

“Not Guilty, you piece of ---” Says Bryan Beckerman Esq.

“Mr. Sam. Bernstein is acting attorney for the prosecution; you may call your first witness.”

“Let’s not waste any time. “ Says Sammy B. “I call Eugene Krabs to the stand”

The courtroom is silent as the proprietor of the Krusty Krab takes the stand.  Click, click, click, click.  The lawyer with the 1-800 number begins.

“Please state your name for the record”

“Mee name be Eugene H. Krabs” says the defendant.

“And what is your date of birth?”

“November 30, 1942”

“And where do you currently reside?”

“3541 Anchor Way, Bikini Bottom”

“And that is in the Pacific Ocean, correct?” asks Bernstein.

“Ayeee”  says Mr. Krabs.

Bernstein pauses dramatically before he begins again.  “Can you tell me what happened on the evening of March 24, 2013?”

“Well, I was closing up at the Krusty Krab when I heard a lot of commotion outside.  There were screams of pain and I saw one of mee customers, a young starfish who is a friend of one of mee best cooks, get blown up right in front of mee store!  A giant lizard came out of da sea and dis communist man with a cape on was flying above the surface, burning people alive with dis laser/heat vision contraption.  Shark looking robots were eating deez two small kiddies who were just having fun riding around on sea-doos and Aquaman blew up a submarine killing a bunch of people inside who all looked like dey were from a TV show that no one watched.  Eeet was horribull.”

“That does sound horrible.” Says the lawyer with a blind kid. “Please, Mr. Krabs, tell me how is it possible that Aquaman blew up that submarine and killed all those people when he was found tied to a tiny palm tree on the island above your city with one of YOUR fishing nets?”

“Ayee… Ayee…” stammers Mr. Krabs.

“HOW, MR. KRAB?!  EVERYONE IS DEAD BUT YOU!”

“Objection!  Council is badgering the defendant!” protests Beckerman

“No further questions.” Replies Bernstein.

“Your witness, Mr. Beckerman” Says the handsome Fizzatu.

Beckerman approaches the stand and begins.  “I would like to provide exhibit A, surveillance footage from the Krusty Krab security cameras.  You will see that my client is clearly visible cowering in fear inside the restaurant the entire time the carnage took place outside.”  He continues, now directing his questions toward Mr. Krabs, “Did you tie Aquaman to that tree, Eugene?”

A long silence follows and through tear filled eyes Mr. Krabs says, “Aye... I did.  But I knew if I didn’t, he was gonna be commin’ for me next.  I swam as fast as mee little claws could go and when I got to the surface I threw mee net in da water just as he leaped out to grab me.  When he was tangled, I used mee pinchers to clip his tail off and tied him to the tree.  It was in self defense…”

“No further questions. I rest my case.”  A solemn Beckerman says.

The jury (consisting of 4 black fish, 3 orange and 5 blue fish) deliberates for over 5 hours and then returns with the verdict.  As they enter the courtroom, Fizzatu asks the jury if they have reached a verdict and they confirm that they have.  The bailiff hands the slip of paper over and the judge begins.

“Would both parties please rise?”

They oblige.

“We the people, find the defendant, Mr. Eugene H. Krabs…..”