George Washington's Slaves Vs. Barack and Taylor Swift's Red Army

George Washington's Slaves are Zombie Rodimus Prime (w/ The Autobot Matrix of Leadership (AKA Rodimus Prime), (movie) Bumblebee, Prowl, Blurr, Roadbuster, Bill Reiser and Lance Bean, Red Dog, Mercer, and Taurus, Ninja #1-6, Gen Kidd, Matt Trakker in Thunderhawk, Bebop, Rocksteady, Fernus, Green Arrow (Connor Hawk), Speedy (Mia Deardon), Batgirl (Cassandra Cain) (w/ darksaber), Runner, Simon Phoenix (w/ M202A1 Flash Rocket Launcher), Kol Skywalker (w/ green lantern ring), Shado Vao, and Gizmo.

Barack and Taylor Swift's Red Army is Whizzy the Super-Cat, Batzarro, Raven, The Atom, Human Bomb, Echo, Foolkiller, Jared Nomak (w/ yellow lantern ring), Reaper #1 and 2, Aleta One (w/ The Autobot Matrix of Leadership (AKA Aletimus Prime)), Tracks, Warpath, (movie) Blackout, Octane, Black Lantern Neo, The DVAS: Bill, Bud, O Ren Ishi, Vernita Green, and Elle Driver, Dora the Explorer (w/ Orange Time Infinity Gem), w/ Boots, Backpack, The Map, Benny, Isa, and Tico, and Sporty Spice.


“Ahhh... Finally a setting I can look forward to being transported to”. Says Dora the Explorer to Boots, as she picks up a paintbrush and joins the dozens of Mexican workers gathered on the streets of Detroit, Michigan to paint murals in dedication to the blood, sweat, and tears of the Mexican Proletariat Workers of the area and all they have accomplished for the greater good of their rich culture. Dora feels so at home being part of something as special as this; and Boots, Benny, Isa, and Tico are so excited to see that huge smile back on their fearless leader's face. Dora is a lover of her own culture who had a knack for exploration at a very young age. Her curiosity guided her in the direction of exploration with very little effort, as opposed to her ability to end the lives of her enemies... That one took a bit more training. But now Dora views all of these things together. They are all part of the greater whole that makes up her lives... Her many, many unending lives. But Dora's smile is sent racing from her face as she sees Diego Rivera himself, leader of The Mexican Mural Movement running with a mob of Mexican workers, families, and artisans. Then Dora knows what is about to happen next... Happy moments are always short-lived; and a match is about to start. One with her old nemesis George Washington's s Slaves. A team that pokes fun at the plight of minorities, the team that ended The Commandos perfect season, … The team that sent her to The Graveyard...

S'up Peeps. Y'all ready for this. I can't believe I get to write the rematch between these two storied FFL Franchises. What an awesome rivalry they have had. Oh, I almost forgot, this is The Neon Master Pogo comin at yizzle with a mizzle for your brizzle that is sure to sizzle. We got The Slaves and The Commandos, or Red Army for those of you Commies who probably call Pine Knob DTE Energy Music Theatre. And we are here in the pristine, bustling city of Detroit, Michigan in the year 1928 B.C. This division hasn't been exactly rockin The FFL this season but The Slaves only need another couple of wins and they can snatch up the coveted division and wind up backing in to the 2nd seed. Lookin over the rosters, these two teams played some real scrappers; which is exactly what I like to watch. If I wanted to see a bunch of amazingly powered cosmic things do stuff I didn't understand, then I would watch Joshatu eat bacon while taking a dump... Talk about gross; but how else is he gonna work those pesky gerbils out.

Now... Who's down for a flashback...??...

Setting: Slaves Locker Room, right after Zombie Rodimus Prime is reborn as himself with the help of The Autobot Matrix of Leadership.

{Rodimus}: “Prowl, my friend. I find it important to keep a chain of command amongst us Autobots. I realize that this team we fight for is not only comprised of us Cybertronians; and I am sure you pledge loyalty to President Washington as I do. But you are a tried and true Autobot. You fought side by side with the great Optimus Prime, long before I did and he trusted you then as I do now. You are a great and loyal Transformer and I want you to know that I recognize you to be my second in command.

{Prowl}: I appreciate that greatly Prime. But I wish for you to know that I am merely a soldier. I fight for the cause. I would ask that you please look me over should you ever need to pass the matrix on to somebody else. Like you said, I am a loyal Autobot, but it is for the young soldiers like you to make the transformation into a Prime. Orion Pax was a young man, and so was Hot Rod when they took on the mantle of Prime. I assure you, it has passed me by. Just allow me to do what I was intended for.

{Rodimus}: I will keep that in mind my old friend; but sometimes it is not the Prime that chooses the next leader; but The Matrix itself...

...Present Day. Back in The “D”...

Nighttime has fallen on the Proletariat movement's activities for the day... Battle is upon us...

Batzarro the world's worst detective is searching around the scene. He stumbles upon a pamphlet that says: “Help pay homage to the Mexican workers with our mural”. Batzarro speaks: “It appears that people were painting pictures of Mexican workers”. Foolkiller, his own teammate then walks up behind him and shoots him in the back of the head. “DUDE!! He was on our team”!! Yells Octane the Decepticon Triple-Changer. Foolkiller responds: “C'mon, my name is Foolkiller and you put me on a team with this dude. What am I supposed to do?? I mean, that can't even be considered my fault right”?? Raven chimes in: “Whatever, I don't think we were going to win the match because of that idiot, now let's just get on with it”.

Rodimus Prime leads the charge right down Woodward Ave. He is followed by Bumblebee, Prowl, Blurr, Roadbuster, and Thunderhawk (w/ Matt Trakker behind the controls). Matt Trakker has Simon Phoenix riding shotgun in his red camaro with the rocket launcher hanging out the window. While Bill Reiser and Lance Bean are riding in the yellow camaro version of Bumblebee with their guns blazing out their windows as well. The Renegades are all hanging off Rodimus in one huge “9 death farewll”, while Bebop and Rocksteady are bebopping and rocking steady in Roadbuster's race car form. Prowl has Green Arrow and Speedy hanging out of him; while the other members of The Slaves are taking more stealth-like approaches elsewhere.

Gen. Kidd wasn't kidding when he assembled the team of six ninjas, as well as Batgirl to sneak around the opposition’s headquarters. While Kol Skywalker, Shado Vao, Fernus, and the highly trained Gizmo hold up the rear as The Slaves resident power squad.

The Commandos have decided to let the party come to them. They are hold up in an abandoned warehouse... Wait a tick... This is Detroit in the 1920's, not now. The Warehouses aren't abandoned yet. It must just be closed for the evening. Black Lantern Neo is the one exception to the sit and wait plan of The Red Army. He decides to take off at top speed and single-handedly take on The Slaves most powerful character. Runner does not even get a chance to use the power primordial before Black Lantern Neo, former member The Slaves in life and 2 time Universe Bowl appearer rips the heart out of Runner and enjoys a bountiful cosmic snack. Kol Skywalker and Shado Vao attempt to attack BL Neo but before they can Neo flies off to find his next victim. Kol, Shado, and Gizmo then decide to join the rest of their team in the full frontal attack now that their most powerful member of the rear force was so easily destroyed.

Matt Trakker fires several missiles from Thunderhawk into the warehouse and as it is blowing to pieces the Autobots transform with their inhabitants leaping out in battle ready formation just as President Washington had directed them to do in his carefully laid out plan . Mel C, Isa, and Foolkiller all die in the blast, but the rest of The Red Army roll into the battle ready for action. Rodimus Prime leads not just with his wisdom but by his direction. In other words, cuz I am starting to sound an awful lot like Joshatu right now... Rodimus starts to kick a butt load of a**!! Rodimus pays no heed to Blackout's Red Lantern Ring when he puts a Cybertronian metal fist right through his face. Blackout did more than just blackout after that punch... In fact, he straight up died. He then bent Octane over and pumped him full of... Well, never mind let's not get too childish with this stuff. Either way, Octane died too. Gen. Kidd and his mini-squad jump out of nowhere; flanking The Red Army from behind which brings all members of both teams together in one enclosed area. In other words, “IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG”!! Tracks runs over Matt Trakker and leaves tire tracks on his face; while Rodimus tracks down Tracks and returns the favor by trekking some tracks over his and keeping track of how many tracks it takes for him to do so. Gen. Kidd and his ninjas take out both the Reapers by removing their heads with their straight edge swords with only suffering two casualties in their ranks. Jared Nomak rips the faces off of two more ninjas; but Gen Kidd personally uses his knife and trained swiftness to take Nomack's head clean off. Bill Reiser and Lance Bean's six pack abs do not move an inch while they are running into battle; but their heads do move as O Ren ishi and Bill use their katanas to remove them from their bodies. Black Lantern Neo chooses Simon Phoenix as his next target; but he has a bit more trouble when faced with Fernus. Fernus combines powers that are not yet developed by most of the universe's cosmic beings to wipe out Black Lantern Neo and send him back to the graveyard. Whizzy the Supercat uses Bebop as his own personal litter box, while Kol Skywalker uses the force to crush The Atom into, well,,, atoms. Green Arrow's father, the original green arrow fought side by side with a sword wielder known as Slade Wilson and then later fought along side a green ring wielder by the name of Hal Jordan. He passed this knowledge on to his son who now feels right at home fighting alongside Kol Skywalker. Their apprentices Speedy and Shado Vao are getting along nicely too. Together they manage to take out Raven with a series of force pushes and arrows. They then use their fighting prowess and fast moves to overpower Echo. Rocksteady dies of aids because he was a gang leader back in the early 90's when the disease still existed. Bill and his DVA Squad form up with Dora and friends for a melee battle with the regular size members of The Washingon Crew. But in the meantime, a more epic one on one battle is brewing. All the other Transformers stand aside as Rodimus Prime and Aletamus Prime square off. The two of them begin battling fiercely even though they know that the other stands for the powers of good as they do. Rodimus knocks her to the ground and attempts to come down on her with a double punch; but Aletamus moves out of the way. She pops up and comes up behind Rodimus, grabbing him by the neck. She whispers in his ear: “Optimus Prime may have passed the matrix to you; but he actually trained me”. With those words floating in the air, Aletamus breaks the neck of Rodimus and then throws him down on the ground. She then unleashes her blaster into his neck and chest just to be sure. Rodimus lie on the ground in agony as Aletamus takes aim at his spark. Bumblebee, Blurr, Roadbuster, and Prowl are rushing to the aid of their friend and leader; but it is Fernus that flies in fast and flies through the head of Aletamus Prime before she can finish what she started. Rodimus speaks to his fellow Autobots: “Bumblebee: you, like me have thrown caution to the wind and have fought valiantly in a fast-paced way. I give you the matrix of leadership, and ask that give up your impetuous ways and lead our fellow Autobots in the direction that they must go”. Bumblebee reaches out his hands to take and says: “This is a an honor that I have always wanted; but I fear that I am not the right Autobot for the job”. No sooner does Bumbelbee grab the matrix and put it in his chest does Warpath fire his chest-mounted tank gun right between the eyes of Roadbuster from atop the tallest building in the world: The Hudson's Building. Bumblebee transforms into his Camaro form and races to the bottom of the building and begins to climb up the side King Kong style. Warpath continues to fire laser blasts into the crowd from atop the Hudson's Building, where he is joined by his teammate The Human Bomb. Bumblebee reaches the top of the building and begins battling with Warpath, a fellow Autobot; but FFL enemy. “You don't deserve such an honor Bumblebee”!! Warpath screams as they pound each other with metal fists. Warpath is driven nearly insane by seeing these actions transpire on an enemy team of his, especially one that he dislikes as much as The Slaves. Bumblebee on the other hand fights with a new found level of hubris now that he carries the matrix within his chest. Warpath is losing the hand to hand battle when he says “I would rather the matrix be destroyed than it carried by the likes of you”!! With these words, Warpath picks up his own teammate The Human Bomb and shoves him into the mouth of Bumblebee while cracking up the chest of the yellow Autobot with his fists. The Human Bomb explodes killing Bumblebee and sending the matrix free-falling in mid-air. Prowl and Blurr see these acts transpire and handle the shock in their own way. Blurr screams “NOOOOOO” as Prowl transforms into his car form and begins racing in that direction. As the matrix is falling to the ground Prowl's RPMs are climbing. Prowl transforms from his police car form back into a robot and leaps through the air in the direction of the matrix. Prowl catches the matrix in his hands and rolls safely with the grab. While Warpath is climbing down The Hudson's Building as quickly as he can, and transforms into tank form once he gets back to the street. Prowl stand up with the matrix as he hears the voice of Alpha Trion speak to him: “Rise Prowlimus Prime”. Prowl is shocked to hear this; but he instinctively opens up his chest cavity and puts it safely inside for protection. Prowl transforms into what he expects to be his police car form; but is as surprised as anyone to see that his vehicle form is now that of a larger police tech SUV complete with tactical trailer. He races towards Warpath and crashes into the side of the tank, flipping the attack vehicle on its side. The damages Warpath transforms back into robot form; and is about to attack when Prowl pulls his laser rifle out and says: “I am sorry old friend; but you have lost your way”. He pulls the trigger and ends the life of the last Red Army Transformer. Blurr pulls up alongside Prowlimus Prime and says (quickly of course): “Well Prime, I look forward to fighting by your side. It seems as if it is not the Autobot leader that chooses his successor; but the matrix itself. Congratulations”.

Bill and Bud take out Ninja #1 and 2, while O Ren Ishi battles fiercely with General Kidd. Fernus takes flight and begins chasing after Whizzy the Supercat; but has trouble catching up with the pet. After the death of the ninjas Red Dog and Mercer begin battling with Bill and Bud in a fierce melee skirmish. Taurus uses his Saracen sword to slice up Vernita Green quicker than expected while Batgirl uses her darksaber to dispatch Elle Driver even quicker. Boots and Gizmo have are locked in a fierce battle of cuteness that has no end in sight. Green Arrow and Speedy each put an arrow into the chest of Benny and Tico. Dora then pulls out the orange Infinity Gem out of Backpack and attempts to put it to use. “Why couldn't they have just given me a lightsaber, I actually know how to use one of those” Dora says to Backpack and The Map as she holds the infinity gem in her hand.

Dora looks into the past and sees that she has the chance to turn back time should she so desire. She sees a time just moments ago when Benny and Tico were still alive. She sees a time before she was ever killed the first time, before Boots was ever killed the first time, and before she was ever drafted into the FFL. She sees the days when she was just a young carefree explorer whose most dangerous enemy was Swiper the Fox. Back home in Mexico under the warmth of the sun. But then she sees what undoing what has transpired would cause. Sure, her own life would be happier; but there would be no championship for The Commandos last year. No All-Star Game Victory. The hope of her leader, President Obama would not have come to fruition without her direct intervention. Dora holds back a tear and places the gem back in Backpack for now. Wishing once again that she was gifted with a lightsaber of some sort instead of this strange gem; but maybe one day she will know how to use it. Dora's dreams are then cut short by the Saracen sword of Taurus. Dora ducks out of the way in the nick of time; but the razor sharp blade rips Backpack and The Map in half off of her back. Dora dodges two more swings when O Ren Ishi yells “Dora... Think fast”. Ishi kicks the blade of Vernita Green into the air and directly into Dora's hands. Now this is something Dora can handle. It has been a while for Dora; but the training once again takes over and she moves fluidly. “This is no lightsaber, but it will do”. Dora says out loud as she battles with Taurus. She can't deny the superior strength and size of her opponent; but she does her best to compensate. Taurus swings twice as hard but she swings twice as often with her smaller and sleeker katana blade. Taurus comes down hard; but Dora spins out of the way. Dora swings her katana down on top of the already grounded Saracen sword driving it further into the ground, and causing it to get stuck for about half a second... Half a second... May as well be an hour... As this is more than enough time for Dora to plunge her katana into the chest of Taurus. Red Dog and Mercer are furious at the sight of their fellow renegade going down. And scream shouts of revenge as they swing their own weapons fiercely to finish off Bill and Bud. O Red Ishi holds off Red Dog and Taurus for a moment, while Fernus lands in front of Dora. “Something tells me that I need to take revenge on you young one.” Fernus says to Dora. Dora backs up slowly and is now very happy about the decision that she has already made.

Whizzy the Super-cat whizzes in at super-speed taking off Red Dog's head just after he broke the neck of O Ren Ishi. Dora leaps into the air and yells: “BOOTS: VAMANOS”!! Dora then grabs the foot of Whizzy and swings back to grab Boots by the tail as the three of them retreat from the battle. “C'mon Dora, I was about to finish off Gizmo”. Says Boots. “We left a lot unfinished in that one Boots... A lot”...