Empire vs Slaves

George Washington’s slaves are…

Runner, Warlock, Sunspot, Jaba the hut, Trojan Man, Tony the Tiger, Assblaster #1, Athos, Porthos, Aremis, D'Artagian, Sandworm 16-20, Suk Doctor #1

The Empire is…

Rick Grimes, Lori Grimes, Carl Grimes, Shane Walsh w/ Darth Malak’s Lightsaber, Glenn, Maggie Greene, Dale Horvath, Darryl Dixon w/throwing knives, Theodore “T-Dog” Douglas, Andrea, Amy, Tyreese, Hershel Greene, Axel, Michonne w/ Purple Light Saber, Michonne’s Zombie Pet #1, Michonne’s Zombie Pet #2, Sandworm #9, Sandworm #13, Vigo the Carpathian, Black Zero (DC), Black Lantern Dark Phoenix, Black Lantern Colossus, Black Lantern Scarlett Witch, Sand, Indigo Lantern Sinestro, Doozer #5

Monday April 29,2013 Jundland wastes.

The Slaves march threw a rocky canyon when they come across a large brown vehicle. Runner spots a small humanoid wearing a cloak and decides to ask for directions. As the runner approaches another jawa jumps from behind the sand crawler and shots him with a sun gun. The rest of the slaves rush into help but also right into the jawa’s trap and become slaves to a new master.

Tuesday April 30,2013 Jundland wastes

The jawa’s come across a group of shady moisture farmers and sell them Trojan Man, Ass Blaster#1, and Suk Doctor #1. Just after the sale is complete Ass Blaster#1 explodes and proves all the stereotypes about jawas are true. The Jawa’s give no refund.

Wednesday May 1 2013 Moisture Farm

The Farmers have been drinking Tatooine shine all day when one of them asks “ When you say you got yer selfa suck docter does dat mean what a think it does?” The Farmers proceeded to do things to Suk Doctor#1 that are illegal in twelve systems. After they were finished they killed the Doctor because they couldn’t bear to look it in the eyes. The Farmers forced Trojan Man to drag the body out to the desert and bury it. On their way back a masked man with a jet pack fly’s up.

“Good evening gentlemen, did you recently purchase this latex gentleman from a group of Jawas”?

Moisture farmer: Who the hell are you?

“Forgive me Gentlemen my name is Boba fett, I am a Bounty hunter and this man happens to be the only person who knows were my biggest payday to date is currently residing.  Therefore I have a proposition for you.

Moisture farmer: Not interested fancy pants!

Boba Fett: Oh Come now, you haven’t even heard my proposition.

Moisture farmer: Get off my land CLONE!

Boba Fett: How dare you sir, for that I am gana shoot you in the face.

Boba Fett shoots the moisture farmer and his friends dead and makes a deal with Trojan Man that if he helps him catch the Jawa’s, they with fight the empire together. But First they have to get Trojan Man some new clothes.

Thursday May 2 Mos Eisley

Boba Fett and Trojan Man go shopping.

Friday May 3 Tosche Station

When the two finally catch up with the Jawa’s they sit atop a large rock formation and pick the “little bastards” off from a distance, with the exception of one that is just winged and captured for questioning.  The two learn that the empire has been paying top dollar for any fantasy characters the jawa’s can provide. Seems as though they have developed a taste for the finer things and are staging their own private death matches at a compound deep in the wastes.

Boba Fett: Well then this should be no problem at all, Ill just grab my ship and well scoot on over and drop a nuclear warhead.

Trojan Man: No we have to try and save my people.

Boba fett: But you heard the little creep their holding death match’s, your friends are probably already dead.

Trojan Man: We have to try.

Boba fett: Well if you insist, then I insist that we do things my way. And my way means COSTUMES!

The two disguise themselves as a high roller looking to purchase a fantasy fighter and a fantasy fighter expert. Trojan Man contacts the huts and informs them of the situation, they help them gain access to the fight circle on behalf of Jaba. Once in they are introduced to Mr. Grimes.

Rick: Hello gentlemen, I hear your all interested in some good ol fashioned fantasy fights. Can I interest you in a drink?

Boba Fett: no thank you.

Rick: What about you boy, you thirsty?

Trojan Man: no thanks boy.

Rick: Oh lord where did you dig him up? You know I’ve heard tell about you. They say you’re a real bright boy Iam curious just what is it that makes you such a fantasy expert?

Trojan Man: I am curious, what makes you so curious?

Rick:  I just told you.? Come over here I want you to see somethin. This here is D'Artagian, he thought it would be a good idea to try and escape . We gone see if we can just get him to explain himself. Now D'Artagian why ever would you want to leave my humble abode?

  D'Artagian: Miser Grimes I just cannot fight no more. You forced me to fight and kill my brothers Porthos and Athos , I can’t kill Aremis i don’t have it in me anymore.

Rick: Oh come now D'Artagian, you may not be able to kill him but you sure can fight him. You see when I pay 500 dollars for a fight I expect five fights or a dead body. So what I am tryin to say is which is it gone be D'Artagian?

D'Artagian sits still and crys

Rick: You disappoint me D'Artagian, Michonne have your pets stomp D'Artagian to death.

Boba fett is clearly disgusted by this, while Trojan Man shows no emotion. After Rick feels as though he has sufficiently intimidated the two he takes them on a tour of the complex. This is where Trojan man discovers that All of his team is dead as all of their heads are mounted on the wall.  Trojan man and boba fett excuse themselves for a moment and set explosives all around. Boba fett leaves before he kills anyone in play. Then Trojan Man Kicks in the parlor door and yells D’ARTAGIAN MOTHERFUCKER!!!! He Shoots rick in the face, Daryl and Glenn in the chest, T-Dog in the liver, and finally he turns and blows Carl’s Dick off. Trojan man then runs out and sets off the explosives killing everyone.