Hello everyone, Cotton McKnight here. Welcome to Spoiler Sport. Here on The Ocho! The punishing Jundland Wastes took little pity on teams that travelled lighty this week.
We begin in The Stan Lee Conference, where The Tolkien Division maintained status quo. TEAM had a predictable win against Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies, in part to Fizzatz Haderach. The Dopefiends destroy Griswold's Nut Busters, giving The Busters one last chance to gain that elusive victory. In The Herbert Division, The Kennelz cage the Kitties, as the Dune locals were too much for White Lantern Batman. The Royal Highness rolls Team Sleeping Pussy, with Yoda's FFL experience leading the way again.
Meanwhile, in The Clarke Division of The Lucas Conference, The Slaves revolt against The Empire, proving once again that George Washington is their only master. The Red Army/Rabblerousers match started with a car crash and ended with a train wreck, thanks to everybody's favorite drunk Jen Linley.
The Spielberg Division was action packed, with the Shemalabama Shit-Kickers barely overcoming The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse, despite an impressive line up... and Real Man. Finally, we had a glimpse into the foundations of The FFL. The Horsemen barely win again against the determined Brotherhood of Evil Midgets, but the future looks brighter than ever thanks to this fourth wall shattering bout! We here at Spoiler Sport would like to thank these two visionaries for our existance, as well as give our condolences to the families of the three Spoiler Sport crew members that committed suicide upon realizing the gravity of this disturbing revelation.
Speaking of suicide attempts, we head to Pepper Brooks for our weekly graveyard resurrection points update. Pepper!
"Muh muhmuh muh muhhmuh muh. Muh muhmuh muhhmuh, muh muhmuhmuh. Muhmuh muh, muh muh muhhmuh. Muhmuh, muh muh muh. Muh, muh muhmuh muh, muhmuh, muhhmuh muh muh MUH! Muh muh muh. Muhmuh muhhmuh muh muh muh muhhmuh muhhm! Muh muhmuh Mmuh...
Thanks Pepper! You still got it! This week, the divisions will be settled, and the play-off match up possibilities could drive you insane! Luckily, the finest orderlies will be available as The FFL finishes the regular season off at Arkham Asylum!
For The Ocho, I'm Cotton McKnight. Stay tuned for Back Alley Craps, this time in the lovely city of St. Louis. Thank you, and good night.
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12 comments:
Nice job Cotton. Though I wouldn't call TEAM's victory this week "predictable." The Murderflies have consistently been one of the Desert powerhouses throughout all past seasons of the FFL.
I got your back Brock.
Nice work, Cotton.
Awesome as always Pepper.
Cotton was pretty good too.
Good stuff Cotton!! And Ryan, I too remember the days of Murderfly desert superiority. Now, everybody and their brother has a sandworm. Kinda makes you miss the good ol' days.
We here at Spoiler Sport were referring to Fizzatz Haderach's precognitive abilities, and meant no slight against The Murderflies. We apologize for any offense taken from our horrible puns.
Kinda like Superman was awesome until everyone had one. Lol
Good point Fizz. I can't wait until next season when I draft Kwisatz Haderach God Emperor Superman.
Finally, I have to agree with all you losers! Your league has too many fucking Hal Jordans, Supermans, Spidermans, and for god sakes, Beckermans! The last is the biggest shit by far! How many cockrings can that shrunken prick hold?
Real Gerbil:
Hurtful.
-Becks, Worm Becks, Beckerllax, Yellow Lantern Beckerman, Black Lantern Beckerman, Beckerman (owner of retired Backyardigans), Beckerman (owner of Shemalabama's S-Kickers), Beckerman (sponsor of Grindhouse)
I am sick of your shit Real Gerbil. I am sick of all the shit that the entire "Real" family has brought to this site. Yeah, maybe I take things a little too seriously sometimes, but that is because anything that is to be good has to be taken seriously. Suck it Real Gerbil, go back to your shit encrusted cage.
P.S. Please everyone have a moment of silence for the people who were tragically lost in the Titanic..................Thank you.
Cameron:
Shut your cakehole!!!
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