Spoiler Sport: Week 7

Hello everyone, Cotton McKnight here. Welcome to Spoiler Sport. Here on The Ocho! The pristine city of Detroit circa 1928 got a glimpse of its future in this destructive first week of divisional play!

In the Spielberg Division of the Lucas conference, the play-off picture became less foggy, as The Grindhouse beats the Midgets. Congratulations to the Grindhouse for securing the first, but certainly not last, playoff spot! Meanwhile, The Horsemen edge out The Shit-Kickers, but both teams remain alive for the coveted wildcard.

In the Clarke Division, The Empire beats the Dickens out of the Rabblerousers, but the shock of the year is The Red Army losing to George Washington's Slaves. This means that the Universe Bowl Champions will not have a chance to defend their crown as they are officially eliminated from the playoffs!

Over in the Stan Lee Conference, dreams of the post-season were dashed in the Tolkien Division. The Dope Fiends reserved The Murderflies off-season tee time, and the ever dangerous TEAM eliminates the inexperienced Nut-Busters. We here at Spoiler Sport wish Griswold and the gang the best of luck with his young career as an FFL owner!

Finally, in the Herbert Division, it's still anybody's game! The Royal Highness smokes The Kennelz, and this year's annual catfight belongs to the Pussys, who outlast the Kitties.

We now check in with the ever popular graveyard resurrection points correspondent, Pepper Brooks. Pepper!

Muh muh, muhmuh muh muhhmuh muh. Muhmuh muh, muh muh muh muhhmuh. Muh muh muhmuh muh, muh muhmuh muhmuh muhhmuh. Muh muh muh.
Muh, muh muh muh muh, muhmuh muhmuh. Muh muh muhmuh muhhmuh, muh muhmuh muh muhmuh.

Thanks as always to the ever insightful Pepper Brooks! You hang in there kid!

The playoff race is sure to heat up this week on the desert planet Tatooine, where winners could catch the fire they need, while losers could be wasted in Jundland!

For The Ocho, I'm Cotton McKnight. Stay tuned for the semi final round of The Inuit Ear Pull. Thank you, and good night.