FFL Royal Rumble Part One!

As the two unlucky mooks that drew the first two spots in the FFL Rumble, Strong Guy and A.C. Slater are certainly lamenting their lot in life. "Not only do I get a crap number, but then I have to start off against this nerd?!?" gripes Slater. An offended Strong Guy raises a finger and opens his mouth to to protest, but quickly realizes that he is indeed, kind of a nerd. He shrugs his shoulders and locks up with Slater. Despite being much stronger, Strong Guy is put into a headlock by the technically superior A.C. Slater, Bayside High's premier wrestler. Slater continues the hold, knowing he's going to need help to get the massive Strong Guy out of the ring. He finally kills enough time, and King Hippo enters the ring. "Alright Hippo, let's toss this nerd!" advises Slater. King Hippo responds with a punch to Slater, which sends him to a corner, completely unconcious. "Nice shot pal! Us big, goofy looking guys gotta stick together!" exclaims Strong Guy. King Hippo is offended by the "goofy looking" comment, as he is considered one of the handsomest men in the South Pacific. He punches Strong Guy right over the rope, and down into the infamous FFL cosmic lava surrounding the ring. Before Hippo can throw out the KO'd Slater, the next combatant, Bubastis, enters the ring. The genetically modified pet of Ozymandius springs straight for the throat of King Hippo, but is denied as the fat man barely has a neck to begin with. Bubastis is swatted on the nose by Hippo, who then begins bleeting. The wild cat seems to understand King Hippo, and it appears that the two have entered into some kind of agreement. They stand together against an entering No-ship Futar #3, and Bubastis attacks first. He successfully attaches himself to the Futar's neck, and Hippo begins to pummel the ensnared Dune character. The Futar is uppercut out of the ring, but Bubastis is still unfortunately on him, and they both tumble into the lava. King Hippo shows little remorse for his temporary teammate, and raises his hands in a victory celebration. The next in is the Sardakun Terror Troop. The berzerker wastes no time and clotheslines hippo, but it has no effect on the big man. The Terror Troop attempts to run the ropes to get more momentum for a stronger clothesline, but his lack of in ring experience is apparent. He flips backward over the top rope and eliminates himself on accident. Kids, don't forget to keep an arm up when trying to bounce off the ropes, or that could be you! King Hippo again mocks the recently eliminated as The Teen Titans' Thunder comes into the squared circle. Thunder furiously attacks the Punch-Out!! boxer, but all of his blows are blocked. Hippo counter attacks a winded Thunder, who is barely standing up to the beating. He-Man's King Radnor is up next, but he decides to hang back instead of rushing in to face the thus-far dominant King Hippo. Thunder is smashed with a final fist and flies over the top rope, while a smiling King Radnor approaches Hippo. "Did you know that you telegraph your punches, friend?" asks the wise King Radnor (actually, how wise could he be if he couldn't even tell that his son Adam was He-man? I mean, they look exactly the same. Sigh..... aaaaanyways....). An angry King Hippo misses Radnor many times, and raises his fist to strike again. King Radnor strikes the arm, which causes Hippo's pants to fall down. King Radnor furiously attacks the exposed navel of Hippo until the boxer finally falls to the ground, KO'd. Radnor tries with all his might to lift Hippo over the rope, but is not fairing well. Harley Race enters the FFL Rumble and immediately helps with the massive boxer's ousting, but they are still unable to throw King Hippo out. They keep trying until the next entrant, Zack Ryder, comes to their aid. The three men finally manage to toss the huge Hippo over the top rope. King Radnor and Harley Race begin to catch their breath. "Whew... not as young as we used to be, eh Radnor?" asks Race. Radnor nods and looks up to see Zack Ryder charging them both in hopes of a double clothesline. The exhausted elders have little chance and are both eliminated by Zack Ryder....

And this seems like a good a time as any to hand it off to our next featured Watcher, who is no doubt pissed that he had to wait this long to watch. What can I say? Slackers gonna slack. This leaves Zack Ryder and an all but forgotten and still KO'd A.C Slater in his awaiting hands...