The Royal Highness Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions

The Royal Highness is Dr. Doom, Peraxxus and The Signalmen #1-4, Nemesis Enforcer, Darth Ocron, The Aerialbots: Silverbolt, Skydive, and Fireflight, and Zombie Cyborg.

Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions are Apollo, Uranus, Helios, Themis, Kratos, The Inhumans: Medusa, Goron, Crystal, and Lockjaw, (Golden Age) Wonder Woman, and Big Barda.


Troy… The Final Frontier. Sup, Yo. This is your Neon Master Pogo speaking and I haven’t slept in about 4 days so I am just going to rock this match for you from a state of mind that is about 15% dumber than I even usually am.

You shall be witnesses….

These two teams prepare to square off, but unlike The Trojan War of old, this time the gods actually show up to fight (For Barkley’s) instead of just offering veiled allegiance to one side or the other. But Dr. Doom has some grandiose plans of his own. The Doomster has taken the three remaining Aerialbots, and for their last hurrah has had them form together to create and armless Superion. He then created some tech and a program to bind them to Zombie Cyborg, tapping into his zombified tech to merge him with The Autobots and create a pair of thin (yet powerful) tentacle like arms out of a liquid metal based (zombie (of course)) mesh. With this, “Superior Superion” is born and trudges out onto the field. Themis may have seen this coming and may have known that Superior Superion was going to exist before the thought was even had, but that didn’t stop the massive Autobot/Cyborg/Zombie conglomeration from stomping the Greek god into the ground. Kratos and Peraxxus both clash axes whilst making really loud “GRRRR” sounds but once Nemesis Enforcer and Uranus join the fray the battle switches to Peraxxus fighting the original king of the gods Uranus while Nemesis Enforcer fights Kratos. Peraxxus knocks Uranus to the ground and comes down hard with his cosmic enforced alien weaponry; but The Sky god manages to get out of the way and shoot some lightning up Perzxxus’ cornhole (come on, it’s Uranus. You know I couldn’t help make a butt reference. Totes not my fault guys). Nemesis Enforcer then takes flight to dodge the oncoming attack from Kratos and then comes down hard on the god of war, pounding him into the ground and ripping off his head even easier then he rips the tops of G.I. Joe Tanks *(Ode to Season 1 Griffin (you guys are gonna really have to do your FFL research to find that reference)).

Meanwhile, The Four Inhumans may not be what they once were without their leader Black Bolt around, but it doesn’t mean that they aren’t some pretty powerful Mo-Fos in their own right. And they better be, considering that they are taking on the 4 enormous Signalmen. Medusa leaps on to the back of Signalman #2 and uses her hair to wrap around the neck of the ancient robot to destroy it by inch by inch removing its head. Signalman #1 and 4 manage to crush Lockjaw and Gorgon into the ground, while Medusa’s little sister Crystal works her elemental powers to bury Signalman #3 into the earth. Crystal then uses her water powers to bombard Signalman #1 until the water corrodes and batters the metal into nothing, while Medusa takes out #4 in a fashion similar to her first Signalman kill.

Dr. Doom projects a mystical force field around himself, but it is not strong enough to repel the physical strength of Wonder Woman and Big Barda as they, and their big floppy natural boobs break through Doom’s force field, then break through Doom’s armor, and then break through Doom’s face.

Darth Ocron has been loving reading all the magnificent stories of his contemporary Darth Shemalya; but has also grown jealous that his own master Darth Voltress could not teach him all of the amazing Sith traits that Lord Shemalya has demonstrated. This jealousy has made him powerful though, as he leaps onto the chariot of Helios that is carrying both him and his boss Apollo to usher in the skies around Troy. Lord Ocron uses his rage and red lightsaber to remove the head of the minor god Helios, but Apollo grabs a hold of the TOTALLY REAL, but kind of made up Sith Lord and rips his body apart.

The 2 remaining Inhumans and Uranus square off against Superior Superion, while Apollo jumps off of Helios’ Sky chariot a little too late to keep Nemesis Enforcer from using the dead body of Wonder Woman to beat Big Barda to death. Apollo does manage to come down hard on The Cobra LAW Guardian and drive him deep into the ground as he lands directly on Nemesis Enforcer’s head breaking his neck, along with most of his other bones as well.

Superior Superion uses his wicked weird tentacle arms to castrate Uranus before blasting him to pieces (Come on kids, you know you gotta castrate Uranus to remove him from power (read your Mythology son)). They then use their Dr. Doom provided weaponry to blast Medusa into oblivion and grab a hold of crystal to rip her in half; but as they are deciding which direction to throw the two halves of the Graveyard Bound Inhuman, they are caught in the chest by an explosive arrow from Apollo, which busts the Gestalt apart and kills Silverbolt and what is left of the brain of Zombie Cyborg. As Skydive and Firefight attempt to regain their composure and transform into their plane modes to formulate the next attack , The Greatest of Zeus’ sons conjures up the power of Mt. Olympus and lights the two remaining Autobots up to finish up his 9 death clinic and finish off The Royal Highness…