S7W7: Grindhouse vs. Midgets

Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse featuring: David Koresh, Chris Redfield, Golden Army #13-17, #21-25, and #41-45.

The Travelling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets are: Hermes, Gk'd, Blue Lantern Hal Jordan, Deadshot, Arsenal, Eclipso, Wasp, Kylun, Nick Nack w/ Yoshi Egg, and Deadpool, Treasure Troll #1, X-23, and Age of Apocalypse Wolverine in The WHIZ Wagon.

The Grindhouse's David Koresh and Chris Redfield are hiding amongst the ruins of Troy. "Finally, the day of my acsendence is at hand! Though my enemies have fought against the truth that I bring, I shall nonetheless allow them passage to heaven after I rain death upon them!" yells Koresh. "Ugh, not another cult assignment... why do I always get stuck with the crazies?" asks Resident Evil's Chris Redfield. "Silence! The Day of Reckoning is at hand!" shouts the cult leader as he dons The Crown of Bethmora. The Golden Army rises as one to defend their current leader.

"This is field reporter Deadpool coming to you LIVE from high above the scenic battleground in The... no... really?!? The WHIZ Wagon?!? You have a vehicle named that, but all it can do is film video with it's cameras? I, for one, call this false advertising!!! But at least I can report on the match. I'd better sharpen up my skills. I heard The Ocho may have had an opening recently! With me today is my old pal Treasure Troll #1. Say hi to everyone Mr. Troll! People, look into it's cold, soulless eyes and feel your sanity leave you! FEEL IT!!! Hmmm, on second thought, this thing is creepy... Overboard you go, lil fella! Fear not, I still have my two best pals from X-Force doing the sports and weather segments. Speak to the people, dearest friends!" monologues Deadpool.

"Wade, stop preening for the cameras and keep your hands on the wheel!" growls X-23. "X-Force? What the hell is an X-Force? Who are you people?' asks a confused Age of Apocalypse Wolverine.

"That's enough out of you killjoys! If we're going to get the inside scoop, we need to hit up our snipers. They pretty much see everything!" reasons Wade as The WHIZ Wagon flies to some ancient ruins in the distance. "Hopefully, our Midget teammates are feeling talkative. Howdy boys, how's the hunting? Inquiring minds want to know!!!" interviews Deadpool. "What are you doing? You're going to give away our position, you idiot! GO!" screams Arsenal. "Yeah Wilson, get your dumbass out of the way." adds Deadshot. "Geeeeeezzzz. You guys worry too much. I mean, c'mon, The Golden Army doesn't even have any weapons that can reach you out here!" In fact..." Wade Wilson is cut off by the sound of gunfire, and Arsenal and Deadshot are sniped by Chis Redfield, who remains with Koresh. "Well, technically, it wasn't the Golden Army that got you..." states Deadpool. "Get out us of here! We're sitting ducks you lunatic!!!" exclaims AoA Wolverine. "Chill out Stumpy, we're goin..." replies Deadpool as they make their way above the main battlefront.

The quicker and more agile Midgets, Hermes, Wasp, Kylun, and Nick Nack riding a green Yoshi, all bob and weave though the crowd of The Golden Army to distract them. Eclipso, Green Lantern Gk'd, and Blue Lantern Hal Jordan pour on the considerable energy at their disposal into the nigh-invincible robots.

 "AWWW YEEEEAAAAH! Look at that sweet lightshow!" observes Deadpool. "I got just the thing to kick this up a notch! Time to broadcast Pink Floyd over the loudspeakers! Yeeeeaah, that's the stuff... the colors, man... Wait, what's this?!? I don't believe this. Shennanigans, I say! Despite my best efforts to give them a soundtrack worth fighting for, my loser teammates are getting destroyed by The Golden Army! I tell ya, the nerve of some people! Down goes Eclipso and Gk'd!!! Ouch, now we're gonna have some problems... and our main force is dead! LOSERS!!!" Wade shouts from above in The WHIZ Wagon.

"Maybe thing would've been different if we actually helped instead of sitting up here, Wade!" accuses X-23. "I still don't know why I'm with you people." says a bewildered AoA Wolverine.

"What? This is mutiny! I'm the leader of this here X-Force, and I'm the Captain of the U.S.S WHIZ Wagon! Avast me mateys! Sounds like you should walk the plank!" threatens Deadpool. "Are you serious?" asks X-23. "Hell, I've had about enough of this nonsense anyways. I welcome death at this point." explains AoA Wolverine as he jumps out of the vehicle. X-23 looks to the ground, then looks back at Wade. She also takes the plunge. "NOOOOO! Guys, wait! I was wrong! Come back! I need validation! VALIDATION, DAMMIT!!!" yells Deadpool to the long gone duo.

"Wow, now I'm really bummed. Wait, what's that? Chris Redfield's aiming a RPG at me from that fancy bunker Koresh has. That's... that's my brand of RPG too!!! Maybe we can be friends! Wait, that douche canoe fired on me?!? Hrumpf! Some friend! I never!" says an incredulous Deadpool as a hit WHIZ Wagon is going down. "My dope piloting skills are having little effect! Mayday! Mayday! The U.S.S WHIZ Wagon is... Heh... WHIZ Wagon.... BWAHAHAHA!!!" laughs Wade as the aircraft falls out of the sky in flames.

X-23 and AoA Wolverine are healed up enough from their fall to give it a go against a still fully stocked Golden Army. They attack ferociously despite their distinct disadvantage, and are paying the price. The beaten pair looks up to see the deadly robots around them begin to strike. Suddenly, the robots stop when Deadpool is barely able to direct the wreckage of his vehicle into the Koresh coumpound, killing Koresh and Redfield inside.

The Golden Army remains motionless as the pair of Midgets take a deep breath. "I can't believe that maniac pulled it off..." says AoA Wolverine in disbelief. "Not bad, Wade. Not bad." says X-23 with a rare grin.  

"AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!! FIRE BAAAAAAAD!" yells a frantic Deadpool as he eventually emeges from The Grindhouse's blazing compound. "Dude, Duck and cover!!!" "No! Stop, drop and roll!" Deadpool tells himself as he rolls on the ground to extinguish the flames. He finally stands and admires his newly gained prize: The Crown of Bethmora. "Oh man, this bad boy is going to get us some real loot on Ebay!" "Yeah, then we'll spend all the money on tacos!" "Guys, wait. You know what we gotta do first..." says Deadpool as he interrupts himself. He dons the crown, and The Golden Army is at his command. "Oh snap! He's gonna show off our moves!" "It just got real up in this b*tch!" "Cause this is thriller! THRILLER NIGHT!!!" sings Deadpool as he and The Golden Army recreate the iconic zombie dancing in the Michael Jackson video of the same name.