Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. TEAM

**NOTE** This posting is the entire match, not just the conclusion. If you are already up to date with the postings, then what has already been posted and the new writing are separated by this:
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Team Sleeping Pussy is Brother Blood (w/ Serious Black’s wand), Bizarro Superman, Planetary: Elijah Snow, Jakita Wagner, The Drummer, and Ambrose Chase, Dr. Manhattan, Bullseye (w/ a red lightsaber), Johnny Bates (Kid Miracle (adult version), Ultron, Catman and Black Cat in the Catmobile, Korvac, Gentleman Ghost, Duncan McLeod (w/ a green lightsaber), Dave Bowman: The Starchild, The WILDCATS: Spartan, Grifter, Zealot, Warblade, Maul, Lord Emp, and Void with an AT-ST, Rorschach (w/ a green lantern ring), Captain Boomerang, Nightshade, La Femme Nikita, Psycho Pirate, Wildcat, Sunfire, Baron Mordo, D’Spayre, Victoria (w/ a red lightsaber), Miracle Dog, Savage Dragon, Peacemaker, Darryl Revok w/ an Ultron bot in a X-Wing, Johnny Blaze, Western Ghost Rider, The Vanisher, Devil Dinosaur, Silk Spectre (w/ a blue lightsaber), (original) Silk Spectre (w/ a blue lightsaber), Hamato Yoshi, and Tunnel Rat.

TEAM is Unicron, The Presence, Solaris the Tyrant Sun, Thor, Ragnarok, Red Son Superman, Justice Legion Alpha Superman, God Emperor Leto II, Ultraman, Capt. America, Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Supergirl (Linda Danavers), Comet the Super Horse, Sif and The Warriors Three: Hogun, Volstagg, and Fandral, Black Lantern Darth Vader, Galvatron (w/ a red lantern ring), Leviathon, Seraph and John Wayne in The Delorean Time Machine, Lando Calrissean, Nien Numb, Chani, Lady Jessica, Jack Lalane, Mimmell, and Robin the Toy Wonder in The Millenium Falcon.


Three Weeks.

Three long weeks.

For three weeks has this battle raged on; and that is not counting the first day. The first day is more of a blur at this time. It was the day that The Playoff Planet was reduced to a festering ball of barren heat. Dust, more than sand is what remains of the once vibrant planet. The heat of lasers, action, and death all contributing to the less than hospitable ball; but none of these factors truly contribute like the obvious and unbearable proximity to Solaris the Tyrant Sun, where the planet seems eternally stuck on its axis. No revolution or rotation making the past three weeks truly just one long day; but also simultaneously a never beginning year.



It was……………



For three weeks has this battle raged on; and that is not counting the first day. The first day is more of a blur at this time. It was the day that The Playoff Planet was reduced to a festering ball of barren heat. Dust, more than sand is what remains of the once vibrant planet. The heat of lasers, action, and death all contributing to the less than hospitable ball; but none of these factors truly contribute like the obvious and unbearable proximity to Solaris the Tyrant Sun, where the planet seems eternally stuck on its axis. No revolution or rotation making the past three weeks truly just one long day; but also simultaneously a never beginning year.




I am certain it was…..




For three weeks has this battle raged on; and that is not counting the first day. The first day is more of a blur at this time. It was the day that The Playoff Planet was reduced to a festering ball of barren heat. Dust, more than sand is what remains of the once vibrant planet. The heat of lasers, action, and death all contributing to the less than hospitable ball; but none of these factors truly contribute like the obvious and unbearable proximity to Solaris the Tyrant Sun, where the planet seems eternally stuck on its axis. No revolution or rotation making the past three weeks truly just one long day; but also simultaneously a never beginning year.


Three Weeks….

I mean three times….

Three times over three weeks; or was it three weeks three time. NINE WEEKS: yes, nine weeks. No it was only one week ago that the Presence forgave me for not remembering. But I am an all powerful Watcher I see all, I KNOW ALL.

I SAID I KNOW ALL!!................................................!!

It’s the time paradoxes, yes, yes, the paradoxes in time are running together in my brain. I am seeing them all at once. The match already ended. I saw TEAM win, they won the match, in fact they won the match twice. No, wait…. You can’t win a match twice. Team Sleeping Pussy won. That’s right. Bowman and Manhattan they strangely committed that ancient earth ritual, “The High Five”. No, no, no, NO. That didn’t happen either. It was the time paradoxes, they are definitely what is getting me confused. That didn’t happen, because no, not the time paradox it was the simulation. Ultron simulated the whole thing; but Seraph was there. He was part of the system he explained it to me that it was not a time paradox after all it was…. The brain in a vat, yes my brain is in a vat like Dr. Banner said. Or, wait…. A time paradox, it was a time paradox Tony Stark showed me the equation. It was flashing in front if his eyes and mine within his suit and in my mind. But then Manhattan……. Yes, Manhattan…… What he said was……. No, no that’s right. There is no time. There is NO TIME. Time is relative. It’s the Multiverse. It has to be the Multiverse. This is Fantasy Fantasy after all, the Multiverses within the Multiverse couldn’t handle all of the cross manipulation. Not with power of this magnitude. It was a cosmic occurrence. Unicron made it so…. He destroyed the planet; but the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of The Force, no wait…. It is insignificant next to the power of the Black Lantern Corps, YES, that is what Vader said; NO, no he said both. But he didn’t say both at the same time, he said them different times.

Paradox.

Definitely paradox.

Okay Joshatu, get back to yourself. Get your head straight and think this through. Dammit.

It was time travel.

But time travel is impossible, I know that time travel is impossible, if time travel were possible than one in theory could go back in time and kills ones parents which would make one never be born which would make it impossible to go back and kill ones parents. This cannot be explained.

It is not possible.

But anything is possible. We travel through time every minute of every day.

It was……..

NO, it was………

………………………………………
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………………………………………

The DELOREAN!!

The Delorean CAN travel through time. But Dr. Manhattan won’t let it………………………





So, here we sit. Sit and wait for the true battle to begin. It was Unicron who broke the back and sucked the life from The Playoff Planet. Solaris the Tyrant Sun now insures that it stays a dessert waste land, while The true Tyrant, the Kwisatz Haderach, The God Emperor Leto II himself reigns supreme over the rock. Ripping through the dunes on patrol of the 80% of the planet that he claims for himself and his TEAM. The only part not directly being controlled by Leto, being the enormous clump of steel and debris that have been mashed together into a near physical mass defying mess, by the planet’s enormous magnetic pull from its constant South pole. How many Sleeping Pussy sleeper agents wait there, cannot yet be known.

As for Team Sleeping Pussy, they are far from counted out of this equation. Ultron and Brother Blood have created a highly advanced free-floating space base and with a little help from Dave Bowman for self-sustainability, some heavy lifting from Bizarro and Bates, plus some snap of the finger freshly enriched oxygen from Dr. Manhattan, it makes for a perfect launch point for every member of the Team Sleeping Pussy squad.

Most of the powers that be on TEAM on the other hand are located in and around the shoulder area of Unicron where they are currently plotting their way out of this confusing space-time continuum of a match.

IN THE MIDST OF THE TEAM: TEAM MEETING:

Stark: (with Iron Man helmet in his arm): Now, Dr. Banner, you’re sure we can use the time machine at least one time without Dr. Manhattan stopping us and resetting the entire continuum again. Right??

Dr. Banner: No Tony, I’m not sure. I’m almost certain that if we reveal the new housing of the new time module that we will at best have one shot at taking out their solar base and everyone inside. So, more appropriately it is not that we have at least one time using it; but that we have a one time use proposition as our very best case scenario.

Stark: Well, Cap has got a plan, and not only is it going to require all of us to make it happen; but it is going to require all of us heavy hitters to be alive at the end of for the last hurrah. As for some of you……… how shall we say less than heavy hitters, your risk is just as bad; and unfortunately, you may be taking the brunt of the attack earlier rather than later.

Lady Jessica: We know who you mean by less than heavy hitters Stark. And we are ready to do what is necessary for victory.

Chani: I second that Man of Steel.

Stark: Yeah, sure creepy Fremen girl. But I’m Man of Iron, more like reinforced Tungsten polymer to be precise. He’s the Man of Steel (gesturing to his left). Kind of.

Red Son Superman: Da

Stark: So, everybody knows the plan, right?? Don’t answer that. And everybody is ready to do their part?? Everybody on board?? We all in?? Win one for the Gipper and all that crap?? Hope so.

Thor: The plan is sound. We shall be victorious.

Stark: How about you Calrissean?? You ready to get those threads a little messy??

Lando: I’m not sure if Nien Numb and I can handle that kind of flying or not to tell you the truth.

Capt. America: General Calrissean, if what I hear about you and your partner over there about The Battle of Endor is true, than we’ll do just fine. Now this may not be the most perfect plan ever devised; but it’s the only one we’ve got. So let’s go out there and do it. Let’s get the run down:

Cap: Fake hammer?

Jack Lalane: Check.

Cap: Fake shield?

Chani: Check.

Cap: Fake Iron Man Suit?

Mimmell: Check.

Cap: Fake Capes?

Lady Jessica: Check.

John Wayne: Check Pilgrim.

Cap: Pilot ready?

Lando: Check.

Cap: Artillery ready?

Galvatron: CHECK.

Cap: Now we just have to wait for Seraph and Fandral to get back with the Delorean; so we can……

Stark: Speak of the Devil.

Sif: Seraph,….., Where is Fandral.

Seraph: I am sorry to say my fellow rebels; but I have some bad news………

IN THE MIDST OF THE TEAM SLEEPING PUSSY: TEAM MEETING.

Ultron: So we have the Delorean?

Peacemaker: Yes sir. The Delorean is here. It had two enemy combatants inside. We killed the Asgardian; but the small one escaped, he was very fast. We thought it more important to obtain the Delorean itself, than to kill a soldier of his standing.

Dr. Manhattan: Your logic is sound Comedian, or whatever you are called in this plane of existence.

Starchild: That is correct. Neither of the men driving the machine were of any real importance. The main plan was to obtain the Delorean and take it out of the equation once and for all. These paradoxes we are all creating are beginning to have a negative effect on the very fabric of the cosmos.

(Black Cat, Darryl Revok, and Tunnel Rat rip apart the interior making sure that there are no traps and that this car is in fact the real article).

Tunnel Rat: Where the heck is the Flux compasitor?? Isn’t that the thing that makes it work?? I’m dying to see it.

Ultron: ENOUGH of this foolishness. Destroy that abominable bit of antiquated technology immediately. We may have stopped their plan, and won a victory; but we still have a TEAM to annihilate. Now GET TO WORK, or I shall do it myself.

(Baron Mordo, D’ Spayre, and The Wildcats make short work of the stainless steel 80s icon and turn it to dust in a matter of minutes).


ON THE DESERT WASTELAND THAT WAS ONCE THE PLAYOFF PLANET…

The Drummer uses his ability to detect and manipulate streams of information to find out where Leto is at; but this also alerts Leto to their presence. Like a human Thumper, Leto is almost uncontrollably brought to the whereabouts of the Planetary Team. As Leto emerges from the sand, it happens as it does in other previous stories, that Ambrose Chase dies first. Crushed to death by the massive body of The God Emperor. The other three converge on Leto but The Drummer is drilled by the tail of his opponent killing him while The Kwisatz Haderach goes full sand worm on the remaining two going mouth first into them both, spilling their water into the dunes…

Solaris the Tyrant Sun begins to make a play to heat up to such an extreme level to melt the space base of the Sleeping Pussies. He takes a couple of radioactive pot shots at the base, breaking through its shields in spots and taking out a very unlucky Nightshade who was in the wrong place at the wrong time; but The Starchild has little desire to see this play out. Although witnessing the birth of small suns, not the death of them is usually his thing; Dave Bowman flies over to the Tyrant Sun and in essence shows off the power of his team’s space worthy command center. Bowman actually helps accentuate the power level of Solaris to levels that the sun cannot control. The base handles the uptake in power with little ill effect; but Solaris has no choice but to watch himself burn under the heat of uncontrollable power levels.

Unicron is now fast approaching the TSPCB (Team Sleeping Pussy Cosmic Base), while Dr. Manhattan in essence decides that he is going to take an active roll, while simultaneously sitting back and letting his squad do as much of the grunt work as possible. He transports The WILDCATS (w/ honorary WILDCAT members Catman and Black Cat (they wanted Wildcat to be an honorary WILDCAT; but he thought that was kinda gay and turned them down)). He transports all members plus there Catmobile and AT-ST into Unicron as well as transporting Peacemaker, Johnny Blaze, and The Vanisher onto the Playoff Planet to finish the job that The Planetary Crew could not. Peacemaker lays down a suppressing fire whilst (shout out former Rose City campers) Johnny Blaze races through the sand towards Leto, once The God Emperor reveals himself. Whether it be from a large Holtzman shield or his rock hard natural exterior gifted from Shai-Halud himself, neither the Peacemaker’s conventional firearms nor Blaze’s hellfire shotgun seem to have any effect on the worm. Leto makes short work of the two while The Vanisher is teleporting around evading the sandworm and taking potshots with his gas gun which also seems to be doing very little damage (although I for one am not really sure what that thing was supposed to do anyhow). The Kwisatz Haderach uses his intense power of prescience to know where the Vanisher will teleport next before The Vanisher even knows himself. So when the next teleport takes place The Vanisher is met with a few hundred pounds of wormflesh cranked into his face to break his neck. Manhattan is slightly angered with himself for allowing so many of his resources to be depleted by the sole inhabitant of The Playoff Planet. Dr. Manhattan then focuses his attention on the planet and conjures enough energy to nuke the entire place into nothingness; getting the Imperial God out of his proverbial hair for good. The WILDCATS at first begin wreaking havoc throughout the enormous body of Unicron while Catman races around in his Catmobile and Lord Emp and Grifter begin blasting everything in sight from within their AT-ST. Despite the fun they are having, the team comes to the conclusion that they are making very little headway. Maul shrinks down to smaller than normal size and begins analyzing the situation instead of simply destroying stuff. He, Lord Emp, and the others detect what they are certain is the location of Unicron’s spark. The WILDCATS move through the twisting metal caverns that make up the innards of the massive Cybertronian. They work through the winding maze and all converge on the compartment that they know to be the housing of his spark. “So, what’s the plan Maul” ask Spartan. Maul replies: “Well, in essence he isn’t a whole lot different than any other Transformer we have come across over the last 8 years in this league, just much bigger. So, if we can figure out how to focus enough energy into the spark than we should be able to implode him, then hopefully Dr. Manhattan can transport us out of here before we go down with him”. At that moment, quadruple thick, impenetrable walls close around the area in which The WILDCATS are residing and a booming laughter is heard throughout. The WILDCATS know themselves to be trapped, although they begin firing their weapons in hopes to find a weakness. Unicron speaks to them in a sarcastic tone: “Do you think that you mere fleshbag mortals were going to come in here and outsmart one such as I?? Do you think that because I am immensely larger, more powerful, and more durable than you or anything ever birthed on your planet that this makes me less intelligent?? I assure you earthlings, that it is far from the truth. In fact it is the opposite of such truth. I set this in motion and devised this plan before you ever set foot within my bounds. Now please enjoy your stay and the death that you will receive herein”. With that the walls begin to transform in around them, rapidly closing in. The WILDCATS fight valiantly against their seemingly inanimate foe; but it is to no avail. Within a matter of minutes the barely dented walls move in around The WILDCATS and kills them all. Unicron then begins to break through the oxygen rich plane of the TSPCB which opens everything up for a full out battle royal between the two squads…

Miracle Dog and Comet the Super Horse break into a super-powered-flying-animal-space battle that is everything that one would expect from a super-powered-flying-animal-space battle. There is a ton of growling and naying and kicking and biting; but eventually Comet catches Miracle with a building shattering double hind leg kick to the chest while the dog simultaneously delivers a massive bite to the horse’s jugular vein so they can join each other in an animalistic death that would have Sarah Mclachlan and Beckerman in tears for weeks.

Dr. Manhattan enters the fray on a much more direct level after he sees Ultraman delightfully laughing after he uses the freshly murdered bodies of Capt. Boomerang and La Femme Nikita as makeshift bludgeoning tools and then chases down Darryl Revok’s X-Wing and rips it apart. The Ultron bot working as The Bad Scanner’s astro droid makes a play against Ultraman; but the Earth 3 Man of Steel easily heat visions the problem out of existence. But Dr. Manhattan and Ultraman make for a bit more of an even match-up. Ultraman moves so quickly towards Manhattan that he is actually able to football tackle him in a corporeal state. Manhattan is able to evade the beating that Ultraman is attempting to give him, as well as his freeze breath and heat vision attacks; but nothing that Manhattan is attempting is exactly putting Ultraman out of commission either. Ultraman makes one final rush at Manhattan; but passes right through the good Dr. An intense flash light overtakes the area which leaves Ultraman in sub-molecular atomic pieces; but strangely enough left a curious look on the face and body of Dr. Manhattan. It is unsure to me if this is even possible; but the blue superhuman appears as if he is….. Tired.

The Presence sits down to have a conversation with Brother Blood and decides that his soul is not worth saving. Which afterlife The Presence sent him to is beyond even my knowledge.

Savage Dragon is one hell of a fighter, but in the end his fighting prowess and strength were still no match for the might of Justice Legion Alpha Superman. But despite the immense power of the Superman of the 853rd Century, he still finds himself a bit mismatched when double-teamed by both Johnny Bates and Bizarro. Although his powers speaking from a technical perspective may be greater than either of the two, they are able to fight through his defensive posture and beat the Superman descendant to a bloody death.

The Great Leviathan, out of nowhere seems to simply appear out of the nothingness and bring the sea with it. The two brave enough, or perhaps unlucky enough to confront it on the onset are Gentleman Ghost and Devil Dinosaur. The non-corporeal form of Gentleman Ghost seems to make no difference to the mythical, biblical creature of epic proportions. Gentleman Ghost is ripped apart as if he were any other man. Devil Dinosaur puts up a significantly better fight; but after Leviathan manages to wrap its long serpent body around the intelligent T-Rex the serpent is able to choke the life right out of him.

Black Lantern Darth Vader and Duncan McLeod experiment for a while with hacking at each other, before BL Vader realizes that McLeod doesn’t die until his head is removed. McLeod obviously never does find out a way to take out Vader.

The two Silk Spectres run to help Korvac and Western Ghost Rider against Sif, Hogun, and Volstagg. “Stop following me”!! Yells the younger of the two. “But you’re my daughter. I don’t want you out of my sight. We can fight side by side and stick together”. “I am not your daughter. You are a version of my mother that exists from before I was born. You know nothing of our relationship as mother and daughter, because it hasn’t even happened for you yet. So go fight somewhere else”!! By the time the two get there though it is too late, as they realize that their talents were not needed. Although Sif managed to take out The horse-riding Western Ghost Rider. Korvac was able to take out Sif and both of her warriors in one enormous cosmic blast.

Korvac arrogantly yells to his teammates as he takes a break: “Well, I’ve taken care of the Avengers B-Team all by myself, do the six of you need a hand with the real thing”?? Korvac is speaking to D’ Spayre, Baron Mordo, Sunfire, Psycho Pirate, Victoria, and Ultron. Korvac hangs back for a minute to see what happens as TEAM seems to make their final attack. Led by Capt. America, The Avengers plus (Red Son) Superman and Supergirl rush forward off of the arm of Unicron onto the TSPCB. D’ Spayre and Baron Mordo hold nothing back as they let loose on their enemies killing Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, Superman, and Supergirl.

“The Avengers are dead!! The hard part is over”!! Screams Tunnel Rat. “Is there anything on this planet, stupider than a human”?? Asks Ultron. The robot continues: “Is anyone here truly dumb enough to think that The Avengers would go down that easily?? Nevermind, don’t answer that. Those weren’t The Avengers you fools. This must have been a…”…….. “TRAP” Rorshach finishes.

Glavatron fires several red lantern laced plasma blasts to clear the path for Supergirl and Ragnarok who come rushing out. They are joined by Black Lantern Vader from the rear, as Team Sleeping Pussy goes on the defensive. Whatever defense they mount though will have to be done without Dr. Manhattan, Dave Bowman, and Korvac, who have flown upwards to face off against Unicron.

Galvatron transforms into robot form and delivers an oversized kick/arm cannon blast combo to put an end to Psycho Pirate, while D’ Spayre uses his power of fear instilment to overload the power of Galvatron’s red lantern ring exploding it and Galvatron’s spark with it. Ragnarok fights back by conjuring enough Asgardian power, artificial as it may be to fry D’ Spayre in place. Even though she is not technically Kryptonian, Supergirl still shows quite a weakness to the power of Baron Mordo’s magical powers, as does Ragnarok. She and he both fall to his powers; but after this display of power, Mordo musters almost no defense to Black Lantern Vader’s black lantern lightsaber going through his chest. BL Vader then takes flight in an attempt to help out Unicron; but Unicron is not exactly known for requiring help…..

Korvac attempts to alter the space around Unicron and then project the energy back towards the massive Transformer; but Unicron simply laughs it off. Mad with power, Unicron seems to choose his form of attack carefully as if to embarrass his opponent by using his pinky finger to flick Korvac out of existence. BL Vader jumps into the mix; but his reformulated black lantern Sith essence is dissipated by the powers of Dr. Manhattan. Unicron, now sick of all the carnage brought forth to his team by Manhattan and Bowman decides to show these young additions to the universe of cosmological power. The billion year old Unicron unleashes his post-post-post humanistic essence from within his spark and demonstrates to the cosmically exhausted Dr. Manhattan what true omnipotence really is as he rips apart The Team Sleeping Pussy star into molecules that he didn’t even yet realize existed.

With the falling of Dr. Manhattan and Korvac, The Starchild realizes that it is he and he alone that can bring an end to the 8 year FFL power reign that has been Unicron. The man once known to earth as Dave Bowman flies in through the eye of Unicron and ushers in a singularity that would normally take trillions of years to undertake. Dave Bowman: The Starchild flies back out of the chest of Unicron and simply watches as the monstrous robot rusts away like an old chunk of steel and is forever drained of his lifeforce.

The Presence then out of nothingness flies in, riding on top of The Leviathan. The Starchild stands at the ready thinking that this must finally be the inevitable face off between science and spirituality. When the antiquated ways of old will be brought to light and ended in order to usher in the true science based singularity. Bowman floats ready, and in a defensive posture, when The Presence and Leviathan calmly fly to him. The Presence reaches out his hand, and as the two touch, all three are transported far away from this now meaningless battle and onto the next level of life… To begin anew…….

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IN THE MILLENNIUM FALCON…….

Robin the Toy Wonder: The enhancements you have requested are set Mr. Stark, but this plan still does not compute. How is this possibly going to work??

Lando: I’m with the little robot Stark. I don’t know how we’re gonna get out of this one. I’m not even sure what the point of this little exercise was.

Stark: Trust me guys, this was the only way.

Lando: I’M SICK OF TRUSTING YOU STARK!! We abandoned our TEAM back there. They’re probably all or mostly dead, and we could have helped. Instead we’re hiding out in deep space. WE AREN’T EVEN SURE IF WE ARE IN THE SAME TIME WEAVE AS THEM!! And that’s according to you, whatever the hell that means.

Nien Numb: Ya ya ya ya (in agreement).

Cap: Tell them. And me Tony. We’ve trusted you. Level with us.

Stark: Okay. By our analysis. Manhattan was going to keep resetting the time stream. We screwed up at first. We tried to one up them and use the Delorean but we didn’t realize quite how well the time stream was being manipulated by him and Bowman as well. And….. Help me out Bruce.

Banner: We thought our only chance of victory was to come at him and The Sleeping Pussies with more surprise time leap. We just hope Unicron did his job and that there are some TEAMmembers left to lend us a hand if and when we get there.

Cap: If??????

Stark: No if, just when.

Seraph: What are our chances. And why was I selected for this mini-squad.

Stark: We can’t be sure if this whole thing isn’t just an intense simulation. If that is the case than we wanted somebody on the inside. We chose Cap because he can lead us out of anything. Myself and Banner because we are way smarter than all of you, plus if….. I mean when, I meant when, we get there he can go all not so smart green destruction machine. We needed to bring Lando and Nien Numb because they actually somehow seem very capable behind the controls of this piece of junk and we took Thor and Superman because, well they are Thor….. And Superman. Once we get there than the whole plan comes together, and it will be too late to be stopped by any cosmic silliness.

Seraph: Yes, but how will this destroy Team Sleeping Pussy??

Stark: Oh, it won’t. We still have to win the battle once we get there. This just kept Manhattan and Bowman from waving their little fingers and wiping us all from existence.

Cap: So we are still going to have quite a battle on our hands if this works??

Thor: Glorious.

Superman: Da

Banner: That is correct. And Stark, were you going to answer the question about probability of the time jump or should I??

Stark: No no no, I’ve got that one. According to my calculations, there is only a 57% chance that we will be incinerated at the speed of light once fish guy over there pulls the hyper space level. According to Robin’s playschool supercomputer brain there is a 68% chance that it results in all of our deaths and well, I think we are just not going to share what Dr. Banner’s results showed because they are a bit depressing.

Banner: I’ll second that.

Stark: But don’t forget, we have the element of surprise. And we do know for sure that we have been totally undetectable this entire time by Manhattan or Bowman.

Lando: But how can we all of the sudden control time from this ship??

Stark: The flux compasitor. The Delorean was just a decoy. The flux compasitor was taken out of the Delorean and installed in here. The coordinates are set. Once we hit lightspeed we should end up in the heat of the battle. Bruce, did they not know that?? I thought they knew about that.

Banner: No, we never told them that part.

Stark: So, everybody sit tight and wait for the arrival. Once we get there, it is going to be some real balls out fighting so get ready to jump out of the ship assemble like Avengers. Oh and Calrissean, one last thing. Because this ship is retro-fitted for time travel, the move through the stream won’t be automatic. Which means you and Baby-Fish-Mouth over there are going to need to navigate us right through the center of the wormhole. It’s going to be next to impossible. But I wish you both good luck, we’re all counting on you…..

Lando: This deal’s getting worse all the time….. Nien Numb….. PUNCH IT!!


THE MILLENNIUM FALCON DISSAPEARS…..


BACK ON THE TSPCB.

Ultron: Bullseye, take point. Get these men formed up. I don’t see a single TEAMmember in sight, but the Watchers aren’t ending the match so there may still be something out there. Or at least they think there might be.

Bullseye: Stand at the ready. They may have one final push; but we have this.

Rorschach: We’ve got this. Let’s end this match, it’s a last ditch effort by a bunch of cowards.


(A flash of light in the distance reveals itself to be The Millennium Falcon approaching).

Lando: What in the hell?!!? It worked, but we’re heading right for that space station. ROBIN, OPEN THE HATCH AND GET THESE PEOPLE OUT OF HERE.

Robin: You should evacuate as well.

Lando: THERE’S NO TIME. SOMEBODY’S GOT TO STEADY THIS THING. WE’RE GOIN DOWN LET’S SEE IF WE CAN’T TAKE SOME OF THEM WITH US!!


The Millenium Falcon crashes into the TSPCB while The Avengers leap out onto the entry platform. The Falcon is destroyed and Hamato Yoshi and Tunnel Rat were killed in the attack along with Lando, Nien Numb, and Robin the Toy Wonder. The Hulk leaps from the wreckage of the ship in his green behemoth form; but The TEAMmembers soon realize that they truly are all that is left of TEAM and that The Sleeping Pussies are more than ready for them.

Iron Man and Ultron take flight and engage each other immediately, while Captain America one by one knocks down both Silk Spectres on his way to the bigger battle. Sunfire engages, while avoiding the Hulk in an attempt to take him out with ranged attacks, while Seraph enters a pitched battle with Victoria (phew, a little late for a Becks shout out). Red Son Supes takes to the air as well only to be double-teamed by both Bizarro and Johnny Bates. Thor on the other hand is busy being attacked from all sides while battling with Bullseye, green lantern Rorschach, Wildcat, and a myriad of Ultron inspired defenses put in place by TSPCB.

This battle would have been long over for TEAM if it weren’t for Tony Stark’s plan; but Iron Man ends up not being as integral a part in the battle as The TEAMsters had hoped. The enraged Ultron rips into Iron Man with everything he has got and then forcibly turns the match into a melee one as his vibranium body pounds on the suit of Iron Man. Iron Man uses the last of his power reserves to blow Ultron back several dozen feet in the air; but Ultron regroups and flies in fast towards Stark’s position in attack mode and blasts through both his metal suit and human body.

The Russian Superman is handling his two attackers okay, despite not being able to completely focus on either one. Supes realizes he needs to make a play in a hurry (ya know cause he’s Rushin (Russian (come on… anybody, anybody))). Superman shows the former Kid Miracleman what a true superpowered being is all about as he deflects the heat vision he is attacked with and then lets loose a blast of heat vision of his own that not only turns Bates into dust but begins to melt the futuristically cosmically durable space station around him. Red Son Superman then takes off to attack Bizarro one on one; but still does not get the luxury of fighting one guy at a time, as Ultron fresh off of his Iron man kill joins the fray on the side of Bizarro.

Silk Spetre II was knocked unconscious for a few seconds by Cap; but has come to to see Silk Spectre I standing over her. “Need a hand”?? She asks as she extends her hand. “That guy with the shield is just too fast, I’m not sure how we are supposed to take him”. Sally Jupiter pulls up the woman her same age who is actually her daughter and says: “we take him together”. With that last word hanging in the background, the two Silk Spectres leap into action and catch Cap off guard. They both simultaneously spin jump on to his sides and ignite their blue lightsabers. Cap is still a match for both of them but is kept plenty busy by their attacks. Cap kicks SS 2 to the ground and then launches his shield at Sally Jupiter. She ducks but doesn’t realize that this is Cap’s patented “get em on the way back move”. As the shield is flying towards the back of SS 1’s head, SS 2 leaps back into action. “MOM NOOOO” She yells as she knocks her mother out of the way and takes the neck breaking shield blow instead. Sally Jupiter now in a maternal rage takes up both of the lightsabers and goes all Skywalker on Cap. The intense melee competition continues for quite some time; but Captain America is still able to dodge or block every lightsaber thrust and deliver a wicked shield blast to the pretty face of the original Silk Spectre. She falls to the ground as Cap turns to deliver the killing blow; but realizes that it is not necessary. The World War II hero looks at his contemporary and worthy opponent and simply says: “I’m truly sorry ma’am; but this IS war”.

Thor is taking out Ultron bots like they are going out of style, when Wildcat gets a little too close for comfort. He tries to stand toe to toe with The Asgardian and catches Thor’s hammer right under the chin taking him out of the match but still keeping Thor outnumbered from both Bullseye and Rorschach. Although, Cap is running in to lend a hand.

Sunfire manages to keep The Hulk at bay for longer than may have been expected but once The Hulk gets a hold of him after grabbing him in mid air. It doesn’t take long for Hulk to rip the mutant to shreds.

Victoria and Seraph seem amazingly evenly matched in terms of speed with a slight edge to Victoria in strength; but it is Seraph’s nearly perfect fighting style that gives him the slight edge. Seraph manages to kick out Victoria’s red lightsaber as she moves in for an overzealous attack. He catches the lightsaber and in one swift motion uses it to remove the vampire’s head.

Hulk teams up with Superman while Ultron teams up with Bizarro for a battle royal that is tearing apart what is left of The TSPCB. While Captain America finds himself face to face with Rorschach. Seraph shows up to lend a hand to Thor; but the Ultron bots numbers are finally dwindling. Seraph moves to help out Thor against Bullseye who uses an attack that if successful would have been fatal for both TEAMmembers. Bullseye attempts to redirect Thor’s hammer back at the platform in which Thor and Seraph are standing; but when he attempts to put a hand on it even his ability to turn anything into a weapon fails him when he attempts to grasp the hammer of Thor. The Asgardian weapon sends Bullseye sailing off into space and to his demise.

Rorschach may not have quite as perfect of a fighting style as Cap; but what he loses in finesse he makes up for in sheer ferocity. Cap delivers several blows to Rorschach that could very well of ended him; but lucky for Rorschach his green lantern ring aura is working hard to defend him (despite Rorschach’s insistence that he does not need “the damn ring that he can’t get off his finger). Rorschach is able to kick loose the Captain’s shield and then deliver a neck breaking blow with his grappling hook to take TEAM’s leader out of the match.

Thor meets up with Seraph and sees their friends in trouble on the far side of The TSPCB. “Seraph, I must help in this battle against Ultron. Can you handle the masked one with the ring”?!!? Asks Thor. “I believe that I can”. States Seraph plainly.

Bizarro gets separated from his battle with Red Son Supes when Hulk bursts on to the scene. Hulk delivers a flying punch to Bizarro driving him into the metal ground. Hulk then leaps into the air and does a similar move to Ultron which brings about a scenario where Hulk is for once on the other end of somebody else’s anger. Bizarro flings himself up out of his hole in defense of Ultron and begins a furious barrage of earth leveling punches, freeze vision, and heat breath, while screaming: “NO TOUCH ULTRON HE MY WORST ENEMY”. Ultron helps out Bizarro with some intense laser blasts, while Red Son flies in to join the skirmish. Ultron keeps Superman at bay for a few seconds which is enough for Bizarro to finish off the Hulk. Red Son then attacks Bizarro with a furious punch to the face that sends him reeling. Bizarro comes back for some more; but he finds out that he is quite mismatched against Red Son. Whether it be because of Bizarro’s exhaustion after his killing of Hulk, or just the superior intelligence and fighting prowess of Red Son; the battle is not nearly as evenly matched as one might think. Red Son conquers Bizarro with a double kick delivered straight down onto his head from above.

Red Son lands after finishing off Bizarro and then becomes overcome with fatigue. Fatigue turns to exhaustion. The exhaustion turns to pain; and before long Superman does not even realize that he is laying on the ground. Ultron strolls up to him and simply drops a gem on his chest.

Ultron speaks: “It’s only artificial Kryptonite. Chemically created by me right here at this space station. But as you can see, it does the job just fine. I was hoping that I would have this opportunity to talk to you. You see, I realize that it wasn’t “the same you”; but myself and this team got a lot of grief over the years for selecting me in the very first draft of year 1, when THE ALMIGHTY SUPERMAN was still available. And well you see, I always hated you and your team for that slight. And as I stand over your helpless body, I want to make it clear that no mistake was made”.

Superman hears every word, even over his own gasps for breath and then can do nothing more than watch as Ultron opens up his laser arm and finishes him off.

Seraph duels with Rorschach for quite some time before he is able to lure him in extra close. Seraph manages to grab a hold of Rorschach’s grappling hook and pull him even closer. Seraph then puts his pistol directly over the right middle finger of Rorschach to bypass the green lantern aura and shoot his ring and finger right off. Rorschach screams but continues to fight on; but is eventually defeated when Seraph is able to spin kick him down on to the ground and unload his full magazine into Rorschach’s chest. Seraph then quickly loads his last clip and begins running as fast as he can to what he knows will be the culmination of this battle one way or another.

Thor arrives just after Ultron’s final destruction of Red Son Superman and the two old enemies begin fiercely battling. Ultron flies in fast and begins pounding on the god of thunder, drawing blood in several places. Thor is just barely able to kick Ultron off of him and then throw his hammer (with him attached) in the opposite direction to regroup. Ultron shows several signs of wear but rights himself and begins walking back towards Thor, when Seraph spin flips in out of nowhere and hits Ultron with 4 perfectly aimed bullets in the head from mid air that promptly bounce off of Ultron’s head. Ultron chuckles for a second before he looks over at Seraph and says: “Do you really think that after everything I have gone through in this battle that 4 bullets were going to even scratch me”?? “NAY, HE THOUGHT THEY WOULD DISTRACT YOU” Screams Thor as he finishes conjuring every bit of lightning he can muster and sends it directly down from the first and second heavens into the metal robotic body of Ultron causing him to burst into dozens of pieces.

Thor passes out briefly and comes to, to see Seraph standing over him. Thor says: “Aye, when this day began, I did not expect either of us to be alive ever again after the end of it. The gods of old have truly shined upon us this day my friend”. Seraph retorts: “I believe your people use the word destiny. It was destiny that we battle The Horsemen one last time. We can have our glorious deaths there”.