The Striders of Rohan Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions

The Striders of Rohan are Seaworm #1-9, Alan Trammell, Tim Cheveldae, Paul Coffey, Steve Yzerman, Bryan Murray, Barry Sanders, Gollum, Meriadoc Brandybuck, Peregrin Took, Wormtongue, Duncan Idaho Ghola #4, Eowyn, John Stewart, Blue Lantern #1-2, Hancock (in a frog suit), The Incredibles, Bill the Pony, Odin (w/ a White Lantern Ring), Capt. Marvel, Cyborg Suerman, Fremen #1-20, Goblins #1-13.

Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions are The Seacons, Black Manta, Killer Kroc, Batman, Robin, Alfred (w/ a green lightsaber), Hal Jordan, White Lantern Kyle Raynor, The Q Continuum: Q, Q2, Lady Q, q, Colonel Q, and Quinn, Kitana (in a Frog Suit), Yaddle, and Jedi Padawan #1 (in a Penguin Suit).


YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOMIES!! It's the Neonizzle Mizzle POH-Gizzle here to drown your mind with some aquatic madness. I mean, Ima be straight with you and say that some of the deets might not be that accurate considering where I'll be watching from, cuz I don't swim; so needless to say: I keep my Neon butt out the lake.

Alan Trammell takes a leadership role for The Striders as they are all dropped in to the Planet Core, and by leadership role, I mostly mean that he is drowning better than most of his teammates who, like him cannot breathe underwater. Luckily for The Striders, they have a veteran green lantern on their squad who can work an OA Ring like he was ringing a bell. John Stewart creates an energy coated water-free oxygen bubble and grabs several of the Rohan Striders before they drown. Namely Tramm, Tim, Paul, Steve, The Bry, Merry, Pippin, Wormtongue, Duncan Idaho, The Incredibles and Eowyn. A few of the Goblins made it into the bubble too, but nine of the thirteen drowned. The poor Fremen on the other hand drowned, well, actually most of them either suicided themselves or died of shock when they saw that much water. Growing up on a Desert Planet, nearly devoid of water they recognized themselves to be the worst possible play for this setting (too bad their owner didn't). Yaddle from the Barkley's squad drowned as well, but at least before hand she got to give some great words of wisdom to her Padawan Learner Jimmy (Padawan #1) who is protected by a Penguin Suit.

John Stewart first assigns the task of maintaining the oxygen bubble to Blue Lantern #1, while Blue Lantern #2 sticks close to Stewart to keep his green ring charged to 200%. Stewart then asks Hancock if he wants in on his energy oxygen bubble but; Hancock instead retorts colorfully: “DO I LOOK LIKE I NEED A GOD D*(&*( OXYGEN BUBBLE”?!!? Naw man, I'm tight on yo oxygen bubble, because the owner of our team put me in a *(_&*)^&(^&(* *)(*)(&^%^((*&*ing MARIO BROTHAS FROG SUIT!! I got powers on par with Superman, I went Round 1 in Season 2 the first time around, I got zero deaths, and my whole Mutha *&*(^$^%$%&* Fantasy Fantasy Career ahead of me and now I got to spend the entire thing within the confines of a Frog Suit. I'll be flying around the city IN A FROG SUIT, rockin the arctic IN A FROG SUIT. Forest Week, LEMME GRAB MY FROG SUIT. Time for the Play-Offs: IN AN EFFIN FROG SUIT. So, naw man, I'm good. I don't need no oxygen bubbles. I got a frog suit. I can hold my breath for like a year by the way; but I don't need to worry about that today. Cuz I gots a FROG SUIT”.

John Stewart begins to answer, but is once again interupted by Hancock......

“That poor pony over there sure coulda used a Frog Suit”. Hancock says angrily as he points to the carcass of Sam's pet pony Bill floating back up to the surface.

Tramm knew from the onset, that if his squad was going to have any chance that they were going to have to take out the big guns on The Turrible Decisions. The big guns meaning the Seacons, who have already merged to form Pirrahnacon, with Nautilator operating as their primary weapon. For this reason, The Striders have made sure that the sights of the mighty Seaworms were set directly on the Decepticon Water Gestatlt.

Odin, with his new White Lantern Ring is quite the force to be reckoned with. An amazing weapon assignment which almost makes up for Frog Suit Hancock. The god King of Asgard convenes with The Q Continuum over a few pints of ale in an attempt to end the match without so much bloodshed. The group realizes that the fight must continue; but Odin agrees to rack up a death and disappear under the powers of The Q Continuum as long as he can take a few others with him. Odin disappears into the great beyond with Quinn, who wishes for nothing more than to experience a mortal death, White Lantern Kyle Raynor, and Hal Jordan (but not before old Hal drops a big green energy bomb in the shape of “#metoo” on Capt. Marvel to take her out like it ain't no thang.

Batman, Robin, and Alfred are moving about the water in a roughly constructed bat-submarine. Bruce wishes he could have brought more vehicle to work with, but at least he was able to put something together with such short notice. Cyborg Superman rushes at the makeshift water vehicle, but Batman is able to blast the Kryptonian with an injector filled with his personal piece of Kryptonite befoe Hank is able to completely destroy their submersible. “Holy broken fish tank Batman”!! Robin yells as they realize that the vehicle is taking in water. Batman at that point makes the only move he can to keep his crew alive. He drives headlong into the oxygen bubble, breaking through the field and destroying his own ship. But now inside the Rohan oxygen bubble, a melee fight commences between Batman, Robin, and a lightsaber wielding Alfred vs. all of the other inhabitants of the bubble.

Outside the bubble, fights rage on as well. Kitana and Padawan Jimmy move against John Stewart and his Blue Lantern buddy, while Froggy Hancock battles with Killer Kroc. Black Manta joins Piranhacon in his battle against the seven of the original nine Seaworms who are still fiercely attacking.

Black Manta blasts Seaworm #1 in its underbelly to take it out; but it takes nearly all of his firepower to do it. Seaworm #5 then swallows the Aquaman villain whole; but Black manta makes sure to trigger a self-destruct before he dies and takes one more spice melange filled worm with him.

Back in the bubble: Robin analyzes Wormtongue as the biggest threat in the bubble and puts down a neck-shattering roundhouse kick to the psuedo-wizard before the battle really even begins. Alfred throws down some sick fencing moves and puts Merry and Pippin down pretty quick with his trusty lightsaber perfectly colored in British Racing Green. The old butler then meets his match though as he is beheaded by the blade and superior sword skills of Duncan Idaho. Batman drops his fight against the myriad number of Detroit athletes he is facing (The Bry, Paul, and Barry Sanders are already down for the count). Batman then engages with Idaho in a well-matched fight that ends with Batman gaining the upper hand and finishing the Ginaz Swordmaster off with a choke hold that he cannot escape. All this, while Robin delivers a birdarang to the eye of Gollum and then breaks the stick of Steve Yzerman in one fluid motion. Robin picks up the two ends of the broken stick and shoves them into the hearts of both Tim and Steve. The Incredibles are formulating a plan to take out the Caped Crusaders while Eowyn begins battling Batman, with Tramm attempting to attack Robin; but at this point, the Q Continuum sees the futility of this whole Bubble Exercise and they simply use their minds to break the ring of Blue Lantern #1 causing the water to kill the lantern as well as those residing in the bubble.

John Stewart blasts Frog Suit Kitana, cuz we're just kinda doin a Green Lantern > Girls thing today; but before Stewart can take out his wrath on Jimmy the Padawan, the Young Q Member known as q, gets a little upitty and decides that he wants to test his powers against a green and blue lantern. Kid q, swims in and goes all cosmic explosion on John Stewart and Blue Lantern #2 as they all join each other in death. Speaking of joining in death, the battle between Hancock and Killer Kroc has been a brawl for the ages. Hancock is moving good with his Frog Suit and is stronger than his opponent; but Kroc is pretty strong himself and still has the edge in this setting. Kroc bites down on the Froggy throat of Hancock just as Hancock pounds his mighty fists into the side of Kroc's neck. Both of their necks break as they move towards the lifeless bottom of the Planet Core.

The Nubian Planet Core is filled with blood, death, and destruction. Enough so, that the remaining members of the Q Continuum decide that this has reached a level of too much carnage and that they must intervene and truly end this match. They deliberate over it for a few hours and decide that the lives of the Seaworms must be extinguished. They begin to move in that direction and when they arrive, they get there just in time to see the battered , dented, but very much still functioning Piranhacon finish off the very last of the Seaworms. Even without their cosmic interference.