The Empire Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions

The Empire is Silver Surfer, White Lantern Swamp Thing, War Machine, Xerxes, Lt. Colonel Blue Grass w/ Quicksilver, Talleyhawk, Steelheart, Rayzor, Steelwill, Stronghold, The Copper Kid, & Mayday in The Marage, Zombie Capt. Marvel, Beowolf, Voltron of the Mid Universe, Ben Quadrineros in an ARC Fighter, Jolee Fishdo in an ARC Fighter, Snow White w/ Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey, Grumpy, Happy, Bashful, Doc, Vampire #2-3, and Thinking Machine #1-8 in The Event Horizon.

Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions are Hal Jordan, Boba Fett in a TIE Fighter, Saint Walker (w/ a green lantern ring), Guy Gardner, Cyborg in a TIE Fighter, Kilawog, Blue Beetle in a TIE Fighter, Lex Luthor in a TIE Fighter, Green Lantern Sinestro, White Lantern Deadman, Iron Patriot, Space Ghost w/ Mega Man X, and Blip in The Phantom Cruiser, Jan & Jace in their Shuttle, and Starscream's Ghost.

Two great space teams here folks, so let's not waste any time and jump right into the fight. Evenly matched dogfights ensue all over the place between TIE and ARC fighters with Marage and Phantom Cruiser joining in as well. Iron Patriot and War Machine square off immediately; but War Machine finds his Tony Stark hand-me downs to be outmatched against Iron Patriot's firepower. Osborne charges up a laser-guided missile and plants it directly into War Machine's chest to penetrate the armor and take him out.

Jedi Master Fishdo is leading The Empire's flight squadron; but it is pretty apparent that Quadrineros is the best pilot among them. Cyborg, wired into the controls of his TIE Fighter directly takes out Fishdo, flying in ARC 1; but ARC 2 (Quadrineros) uses his heightened senses and podracing skills to target Blue Beetle's TIE. Boba Fett finds that he can't quite do enough damage of the Cymek casing of Xerxes, who eventually clips the wing of Fett's TIE sending it out of control. Fett, manages to regain control and eject, sending out counter-measures that do more damage to The Ancient Titan than his laser blasts initially could. Boba Fett, then further ejects out of his escape apparatus and uses his jetpack to get onto the rear of Xerxes. A few well-placed thermal detonators finish the skirmish. Lex Luthor flies his TIE Fighter methodically and exactly how the schematics dictate; but this doesn't serve him well against the crazy, well-practiced flying of Colonel Bluegrass in the Marage who first ejects the four Silverhawks and their bird companions into the battle and then lights up Luthor with laser blasts. Space Ghost takes a cue from his teammate Boba Fett, who seems to be doing fine sans ship and ejects from The Phantom Cruiser, handing the controls off to Mega Man X. Space Ghost, in a truly O.P. Move proves nothing more than the fact that he was the writer of this match's favorite cartoon character as a kid. This causes the writer to ignore everything he knows about how powerful Dune Neo-Cymeks are and has Space Ghost press some buttons on his arm making Beowolf go boom.

Saint Walker is able to take out Mayday, Steelheart, and Stronghold with his dual lantern powers, but the rest of the Silverhawks team up and kill him with a bunch of spacebird like abilities.

Silver Surfer may very well be the most powerful player in today's game and we all know he can take out green lanterns when necessary, because we all saw what happened in the famous Marvel-DC Amalgam crossover from years back. But it isn't that Sissified-Artsy Raynor he is up against this time. Hal Jordan and Guy Gardner, the true Green Lanterns of earth team up on The Surfer and make him look as weak as he was in that old NES game where he couldn't even touch the walls without dying. Shortly thereafter, another Extremely powerful Empire character falls as Starscream's Ghost keeps taking over different bots in the combined gestalt of Voltron. The poor robot of the Mid-Universe goes insane as Starscream leaps from piece to piece forcing Voltron to play the stop hitting yourself game that every three year old finds hilarious. Voltron's initial robot programming kicks in forcing a self-destruct, which does manage to dissipate Starscream's Ghost along with the self-demise of Voltron.

Zombie Capt. Marvel tries to eat Sinestro's brain, but she dies instead.

White Lantern Swamp Thing proves that he is better with the white lantern power than White Lantern Deadman based solely on the fact that WL Swamp Thing is on death #4 and WL Deadman is not. Swamp Thing wins the power struggle and manages to contain the power; as the other White Lantern ring is ripped from the hand of Deadman and joined with Swamp Thing's making one white ring as the universe intended. Although this brings forth a paradox as Hal Jordan and Sinestro are also brought into the fray. All four of these potential white ring wielders are simultaneously brought together causing a divergence in the Universe. The white lantern ring is the embodiment of life; but so much life must cause death (I know that doesn't make any sense but it sounds like some cheesy, quasi-deep thing a comic book writer like Geoff Johns would say). The ring plants itself firmly onto the mossy finger of Swamp Thing; but unites all four ring bearers in death.

Kilawog wrecks Marage with a huge green fist and is then joined by Boba Fett and Iron Patriot as they face off against the remaining Silverhawks. A furious Steelwill who just lost his sister and his beloved bird manages to crack the shell of Iron Patriot, and Quicksilver sends a piercing karate chop into the heart of Kilawog; but in the end, once the cosmic dust had cleared, all the Silverhawks had fallen and only Boba Fett remained.

The Phantom Cruiser, piloted by Mega Man X is able to take out Ben Quadrineros' ARC Fighter on their way to dock on the massive Event Horizon along with Jan and Jace in their shuttle and Cyborg in his TIE Fighter. They had all received a distress signal from the ship saying that the Empire Members on board were all prepared to surrender as soon as they were boarded by the Barkley's squad. Boba Fett too, received this transmission through his Mandalorian Helmet and made the Turrible Decision of answering the call. The ship seemed abandoned from the outside; but once they entered and heard the door shut solid behind them they all realized that the ship was indeed very functional. Once inside they saw things that I as a Watcher cannot possibly describe. Vampires, dwarves, and vampire dwarves ripping the flesh from the bones of anything in site, creepy and evil thinking machines designed to do intense and vile harm to any bag of flesh they come across, Sam Neil trying to revive his career after being typecast as Dr. Grant from Jurassic Park, and scariest of all: A woman who is able to simultaneously live with seven men. Fett, Mega Man X, Blip, and Cyborg all die gruesome and terrifying deaths at the hands of The evil Event Horizon Ship; so do Jan and Jace; but they are too stupid to feel actual human pain.

It is too late for their teammates to be spared their gruesome demise; but The Event Horizon and its murderous, haunted ways are destroyed externally as Space Ghost and Guy Gardner combine their powers to blow the ship up for good.