Week 6: George Washington’s House Elves vs Super Kitties

House Elves: Bizarro Superman, Luke Skywalker in Luke’s Stealth X-Wing, Han Solo and Chewbacca in Imperial Shuttle, Galvatron, Ben Kenobi in Poe’s X-Wing, Mar-Vel, Archangel, Dash Rendar in X-Wing, Captain Panaka and Qui Gon Jinn and Admiral Piett in Nubian 327, Rom, Quark, Wesley Crusher, Commander Ryker, Zaheer, Prince Harry and Princess Meghan in B-Wing, Vampire #3-4

Kitties: Vampire Abeloth w/ Yellow Lantern Ring, Zombie Abeloth, Supergirl, Power Girl, Starfire, Blackfire, The Red Hood in Sith Starfighter, Green Arrow and Black Canary in 2 seater Y-Wing, Red X in X-Wing, Captain Steven Hiller in Y-Wing, and The 100 group in Count Dooku’s Ship

This week’s matchup takes place in the outer rim, and because I like to do a little bit of research, I decided more specifically we’re going to be in the Kanz sector. This really has no relevance and has not only wasted my time looking up some place to be, but now yours because you’ve read this. Since we're already here, I might as well say that the Kanz sector is home to the planet Jerne (I like this one because I imagine saying it like Journey, one of the best bands ever). 

Now that that’s over with, wait that’s two thats, ehh I don’t feel like fixing it. Anyways let’s get this match started. When you look at the Super Kitties in a matchup, you can always look forward to a #feminism movement like we see here today, so much so that Princess Meghan said ‘I’m out’ on the House Elves and switched teams. With Prince Harry all alone, he gets sad and blows up the B-Wing killing himself and Princess Meghan.

As for the other pilots, well I hope none of them also choose the kamikazee route. The House Elves have some good Star Wars pilots like Luke Skywalker, Ben Kenobi (probably needs to get the rust off for not flying in years), and Han Solo and Chewbacca. Wait… there not in the Falcon? Seriously? Yo wtf Chris, you had one job, you got Han Solo and Chewbacca, but couldn’t get the Millenium Falcon, I’m disappointed. You know what, Vampire Abeloth w/ Yellow Lantern Ring comes over and the look of her terrifies Han and Chewie to literally shit themselves which then feeds the Yellow Lantern Ring with their fear and Abeloth blasts them to a thousand bits.

Back to the other pilots… such good pilots, Luke, the black dude flying around Padme alongside the dude who gets stabbed by Maul, the Star Trek crew which aren’t even in a ship, a different version of Robin, Green Arrow and Black Canary couple, THE Will Smith, and a few other unmentioned pilots. This is the start of a huge, epic, glorious--- what? We don’t have the money to create this amazing battle? So you’re telling me I’m just gonna have to say who came out alive? Welp, sorry guys, you heard the producers, all that survived is my guy Will Smith--- I mean Captain Steven Hiller. Even after surviving such a great battle, so good that you could probably write an epic poem about it, like the Iliad, he doesn’t last long before Galvatron says wassup and crushes the ship.

All that’s left are the heavy hitters, and to be honest, it’s not looking good for the House Elves. Either way, Bizarro Superman still rushes into battle and is met with resistance from the girl of steel from two earth’s. Bizarro Superman is not second guessing his course of action, but it’s too late, the girls set in the attack. He’s about to meet his end before last second he rips Supergirl in half, in which 4 death Power Girl gets enraged and heat visions him to implode. Kitties seeing there’s not much work left to do, they all bring their girl power together and #metoo Galvatron out of existence.

As the Kitties celebrate, Mar-vel, Archangel, and Zaheer manage to sneak attack and kill the sisters Star and Blackfire. This leads to the two Abeloths unleashing their might on the remaining House Elves, and in their destruction they not only manage to kill them off, they also kill each other.