Preseason: TEAM vs Affirmative Action Popeye’s

 TEAM: Muhammad Ali, Steven Seagal, Ice Bro & Ice Bro, Blake Stone, Princess Toadstool, Ness, Bill Rizer, Lance Beam, Earthworm Jim, Junkeon #7

Affirmative Action Popeye’s: Crack Frank & Dark troopers #1-5, Kyle’s Homeboy Frank, Migs Mayfield (w/ Robot Gun), Sebastian Shaw, Riggs and Murtaugh, Odd Job, and Sentinel #1

The year is 2040, Mike George has raised the prices on his menu so much that mozz sticks cost $25 for 6 pieces. Both teams have actually come together in unity to rebel against these out of proportioned prices that Mike George has made so he can make the big bucks. People were already enraged when he wanted us to call it ‘cOacH’s cOrnEr’, it will forever be ‘George Murphy’s’ to any cultured person. Now the prices are too much, and both TEAM and Affirmative Action Popeye’s have come together against the common enemy to get what they both deserve, cheaply priced mozz sticks.

Crack Frank and his Dark troopers lead the rebellious charge into George Murphy’s with a very similar looking person, Kyle’s Homeboy Frank, at his side. They are closely followed by Muhammad Ali who has come back to life just for the single purpose to have cheap mozz sticks once again. Trailing behind are the various video game characters from TEAM’s team. Steven Seagal, Riggs, Murtaugh, and Odd Job have become regulars so they were already at the bar when the rebel group charged through the doors. Mike George approaches and is wondering what all the ruckus is about. Crack Frank yells, “WE DEMAND THE PRICES TO BE LOWERED. IT’S OUTRAGEOUS HOW HIGH YOU HAVE MADE THE PRICES!” Mike George responds, “You see, I don’t think I can do that guys, I’ve been making too much money,” as he signals to an empty spot on the wall. And Junkion #7 explodes through the wall and instantly crushes Steven Seagal, Blake Stone, Ness, Earthworm Jim, and Odd Job. Quickly following he picks up Riggs and Murtaugh and rips them both in half. Sebastian Shaw, arriving late, swoops in and is able to completely absorb the gunfire coming from Junkion #7 in which he redirects the energy to implode Junkion #7. 

After Mike George sees he has no more defense to protect him, he concedes. He drops all prices on the menu by 50% and the mozz sticks by 75%. With a mighty loss of true heroes, the greater good of people can still thrive on the lowered prices. All is good again, Crack Frank and Kyle’s Homeboy Frank go to enjoy a round of golf at Fox creek, and the rest of the boys and Princess Toadstool can go enjoy some drinks at the bar. The day has been a true victory…

Sentinel #1’s simulation has reached its end purpose. It was testing how much it would take to get people to rebel against George Murphy’s, and it has learned that mozz sticks are the key component to causing an uprising. Since Sentinel #1 has gained the data necessary, it unplugs all test subjects unsafely and kills all members from both teams.