TEAM Takes over The Playoff Planet, co-starring Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions, Affirmative Action Popeye's, and Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids.

TEAM is Unicron, Primus, Thanos (w/ The Infinity Gauntlet, loaded with the Power, Soul, Space, and Reality Stones), Darksol, The Constructicons:  Bonecrusher, Buckethead, Hightower, Long Haul, Quickmix, & Scavenger, Astro-Train, Blitzwing, Leader-One, Blaster w/ Rewind, Eject, Grandslam, Raindance, NIghtstalker, Playback, Ramhorn, Rosanna, Stripes, Steeljaw, Dile, Zaur, Graphy, Noise, Blackout, Flip Sides, & Sundor, Black Lantern Polaris, Six Shot, Optimus Prime, Dave Parks Prime:  A Touch of Grey, Old Man Parks (Grizzled Vietnam Veteran), Wolverine, Non, & Black Lantern Sinestro.

Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisons are Omni Man, Battle Beast, Thrag, Invincible, & Allen the Alien, The Protectobots:  Hot Spot, Groove, Streetwise, Blades, & First Aid, Princess Laya of the Salad Kingdom & Pokemon Trainer Scarlet w/ Piplup, Eevee, & Detective Pikachu, Gene Ween, Dean Ween, Dave Dreiwetz, Claude Coleman Jr., Glen McCellend, & Boognish in The Poop Mobile, Venom (Flash Thompson), Kano, Sonja Blade, Jax, Shinobi w/ his Dog, Flash (Wally West), Resplendent Man, Ludwig Von Koopa (w/ The White Lantern Ring) on Kid-Nee's Mo-Ped, Al Capone (w/ a Power Ring), The Batman who Laughs (w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring), Nick Fury (w/ a Red Lantern Ring), The Spectre, Dhalsim, Donkey Kong, Blanka, Lady Q, Colonel Q, Lady Dimetrescu, Kilawog, and Jimmy (Jedi Padawan #1 (in a Penguin Suit)).

Affirmative Action Popeye's is Destro, Beechhead, Road Block, Gung Ho, Lt. Flint, Shipwereck, General Hawk, Duke, Nemesis Enforcer, Lady Jane, Serpentor, Globulous, The Baroness, Ethan's Juggernaut Tank, Detective Spooner, Sonny, Slimer, Sailor Moon, The Hart Foundation:  Bret "The Hitman" Hart & Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart, Capt. Jonathon Powers, Nash Bridges, Tatsu, Bebop & Rocksteady, Baxter Stockman, Tigger, Eeore, Rabbit, Piglet, Mike and Laura Sroka, Bryan Beckerman, Fred Baker, Bruno Samartino, Weird Al Yankovich, ET, Timmell, The Tazmanian Devil, Mary Embery, Sentinel #7, The Centurions:  Ace McLeod, Jake Rockwell, Max Ray, John Thunder, & Rex Charger, Power Man, Iron Fist, Jessica Jones, Red Hulk, Red She Hulk, Nolan & Austin:  Sith Bros. in a pair of F-18s, & Voldemort.

Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids are Sasuke Uchiha, Grimlock, Slag, Weapon H, Starkiller, Darth Nihilus, Naruto, The Predacons:  Razor Claw, Divebomb, Head Strong, Rampage, & Tantrum, Anakin Skywalker, Pre-Suit Darth Vader, Daenyrius Targaryen & his Dragon, Thunderstrike, Cosmic Spider-Man, Darth Sion, Cad Bane, George the Albino Gorilla, Lizzy, & The Wolf, Vampire Neo, Colonel Stark, Jet Jaguar, & Ultra Man.

TEAM broke the rules.  They didn't do what they were told.  They have angered Joshatu the All-Knowing and Wise.  And they didn't even wear masks or social distance while they were doing it.  You see, TEAM did not return to their base last week after their decisive space victory over Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids.  Instead, they called for reinforcements, learned their own level of regeneration, and made their way to the Play-Off Planet on their own.  They began taking over the planet and fortifying their positions before the matches even began making a mockery of the well-ordered Fantasy Fantasy League Process.  As stated:  I:  Joshatu the Astounding and Virtuous am not happy.  

As the other three squads arrive at the already dominated Play-Off Planet, they quickly find places to take cover and do what they can to develop plans of attack in hopes that the seemingly unbeatable TEAM can be destroyed.  

Since their arrival on The Play-Off Planet, TEAM has continued breaking league rules.  Hell bent on absolute domination, some of the most powerful TEAMmembers have begun combining with one another to create power combinations that threaten even Joshatu:  The Cunning and Masterful myself.  The first combining came with the birth of Thanicron.  Using the Soul and Reality stones, Thanos has merged his consciousness with that of the massive size planet Unicron who now wears a continent sized glove on his hand containing the stones.  With their cosmic powers combined they create a truly menacing foe.  Primus, who holds an uneasy alliance with his brother is not comfortable with the exponentially increased Unicron, now Thanicron; so he develops an alliance of his own.  As the god of The Autobots and true originator of the Autobot Matrix of Leadership, Primus works to reestablish the power of Prime.  But the Autobot leader is not quite enough to do that fully.  Only with the equivalent earth power of Prime can it be done; which is why Dave Parks Prime, who has already absorbed the military experience, strength, and the pure blue collar ruggedness of Vietnam Veteran Old Man Parks is called upon to form the being both massive in size and power of Optimal Dave Primus.  With the Dark Lord Darksol controlling the surface and Thanicron and Optimal Dave Primus defending both sides of The Play-Off Planet from above, ever looming and moving closer and closer to the surface, TEAM has the entire planet on a lockdown that would make even Big Gretch Whitmer proud.  While the Popeye's and Barkley's squads have met up in a small heavily forested area invisible from space to attempt a team-up against TEAM, The Sith Aids having seen TEAM's power first hand last week have pledged their allegiance to TEAM and have vowed to fight alongside them if anyone should dare contest their dominance.  

With such an enormous and important event about to take place, I must warn you the witnesses that this epic confrontation could take weeks by my standards and a minimum of twenty pages for you.  Even I Joshatu the Stamina-laden and Powerful must take rest before the match begins.  This match shall resume after I take my cosmic sleep for which I have grown so deserving of.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________=====================================================================================

Hey Everybody, it's me The Neon Master Pogo here to finish flushing this turd before Joshatu the Stuffy and Arrogant wakes up from his PMS Headache.

Let's do this.

Now, I assure you, everything Joshatu the Boring and Boring said was true, but we don't need to drag this out forever to lay out some action. I mean, let's face it; I'm not exactly Hemingway and you dorks aren't exactly the people who read Hemingway.      

The Protectabots merge to form Defensor and the Constructicons merge to form Devastator.  The battle ends quick because well....  Devastator is way better.  I mean I assume you guys have seen the show??  Oh.  You guys are too young.  Well, just say "Okay Boomer" and take my word for it.

Captain Jonathon Powers and Nick Fury order a full out counter offensive from the infantry with GI Joes taking the lead.  The GI Joes, despite taking out The Rampage Wolf with Ethan's Juggernaut Tank do what American Infantry Men do best.  They rush into certain doom, catch bullets meant for men deemed more important than they are, and die for someone else's cause.  Same goes for their Cobra counterparts, except for Nemesis Enforcer who manages to rip through Cad Bane, Colonel Stark, and the Autobot Cassette Graphy before getting eaten by George the Albino Gorilla (shout out to my boy Brian Colin for creating George and Rampage, one of the greatest video games of all time (and for being an all around cool guy)).  

Weapon H rocks Bebop, then bops Rocksteady.

Darth Sion stocks Baxter....  Naw, that just didn't work as well as the last time.  Either way, Baxter is dead and Sion did it.  

Sasuke Uchiha starts complaining that he is on his last death in the Fantasy Fantasy League and has NEVER GOTTEN THE LOVE HE DESERVES with the mad skills and power he has; because too many of these DAMN WATCHERS don't know anything about Anime and have no respect.  But I couldn't hear the rest of his rant because he got hit by a Ford Escort pulling out of the carwash.  

Ace McLeod takes to the air and leads the Centurions against the two remaining Rampage giants.  They use their superior firepower to take out George and Lizzy.  No complaining readers, those two sentences were a better story than most giant monster movies try to give you.  

The Centurions are about to be avenged by Cosmic Spider-Man and Grimlock when TEAM remembers that The Centurions used to be on their TEAM way back in the day when they one the First Universe Bowl.  TEAM is a jealous TEAM.....  Original TEAMmates Leader One, Astro-Train and, Blitz-Wing blow them off the map instead.  

Lady Q and Colonel Q attempt to tap into the cosmic amalgated brains of Thanicron  and Optimal Dave Primus but fall short despite their greatest attempts.  Despite their failure, they use the last of their power to take Black Lantern Sinestro, Darth Sion, Naruto, and even the mighty TEAM ground commander Darksol with them as they perish.  No complaining readers, those two sentences were a better Q story than most Fantasy Fantasy Watchers try to give you.  

White Lantern Ludwig Von Koopa has next to no idea how to work the White Lantern Ring he has been given; but to make matters worse has no idea how to drive a Mo-Ped either.  He still brings in a Net-Positive on point usage when he crashes into Ultra Man killing both of them tho....

Rarely do Red Lantern Rings choose their hosts based on last name nomenclature, but Nick Fury was a legit exception.  He kept smacking the Mutha-$%^^&*%er trying to get it to work as Six Shot crushed him whilst simultaneously blasting Dhalsim, Jimmy the Penguin Padawan, The Tazmanian Devil, Tatsu, and Sailor Moon.  The massive double-triple changing Decepticon is then ripped apart by a pure blast of Yellow Energy from The Batman Who Laughs.  The Batman Who Laughs keeps his wicked sense of humor pumping as he pines over the good old days when he used to be able to use fun things like knives on his victims; but he can't help but acknowledge the necessity and ease in which this new yellow ring makes his job go so much smoother.  Blaster doesn't think he will have much issue with the creepy looking Batman once he starts ejecting his Autobot Cassettes at him; but The Batman Who Laughs has no problem taking out Blaster himself, Nightstalker, Raindance, and Playback with Piglett, Rabbit, Eeore, and Bryan Beckerman falling as collateral damage in a bloody, and not so pitched battle (shout out Becks on final death) with the former FFL Commish.  The Batman who Laughs is having the time of his life until he turns to see some short dude stabbing some adamantium claws into his neck asking the question:  "What's so funny Bub"?  

Nolan and Austin:  Sith Bros. are more than capable of flying their F-18s on a normal day with their extensive Sith training; but after they hooked up with Ol' Freddy Baker and thought they could handle some of that Bubonic Chronic he peddles they were introduced to the true nature of the Dark Side and couldn't fly a paper air plane.  At least they crashed the jets into Daenyrius Targaryen and his Dragon in an accidental kamikaze mission.  Not sure if that could have killed that dude or not to be honest, but if y'all Game of Thrones fans wanted me to go back and watch that show than you shouldn't of cried about the last season so hard all over the interwebs.  

Omni Man, Battle Beast, Thrag, Allen the Alien, & Invincible bring Sentinel #7 and Weird Al for the LULZ with them on their valiant attack on Thanicron, while Resplendent Man and Flash let Power Man and Iron Fist tag along on their mission against Optimal Dave Primus.  This would have been epic had Joshatu kept Watching; but dis be me Pogo reporting in saying that the little guys lost to the big huge cosmic robots.    

Anakin Skywalker and Pre-Suit Vader (yes, pretty much two of the same dude) ignite their lightsabers and mow through Detective Spooner, Sonny, Slimer, Capt. Power, & the always wily and jaunty Nash Bridges.  Red She Hulk says:  "I'll handle this".

Tigger asks:  "How"??

"She'll have help" says Jessica Jones as she, Mary Embery, Laura Sroka, Sonja Blade, and Lady Dimetrescu form up in a super woke moment to take down the patriarchy just like the chicks did in Avengers:  End Game.  They then see the two extra white, privileged, men standing there and they all died from the sight of the toxic masculinity.  It was beyond evil in its scope.  Nothing a Sith Lord or Mad Titan has ever done previously can be compared to the sheer evil of being a white Male.  if it were any more racist and Sexist it would have had to happen in Georgia.  I'm disgusted.  That's it.  We are moving the FFL All Star Game.  

I was eating a Milky Way when Vampire Neo flew in fast towards Voldemort and I must have missed how they both died.  

Black Lantern Polaris helps out two of the greatest tag teams of all time in Timmell and Mike Sroka and The Hart Foundation while she holds Slag still with her magnetic powers allowing them to dismantle him.  Grimlock then steps on all four of the warriors to avenge his Dinobot buddy.  

Bruno Samartino is a legend who bops hard but not hard enough to hang with Cosmic Spider-Man.  

Tigger kills Star Killer just to make all the Gamer kids cry and then gets stepped on by Jet Jaguar.   

Non and Devastator crush the skulls of Donkey Kong, Kano, and Jax but The Boognish and his new, less-powerful sidekick: The Spectre cosmic fart on Non and then eat Devastator whole, causing them to urinate out energon-laced-urea on Leader One, Grandslam, Noise, and Blackout.  The power duo then gets uppity and tries to fly into space and do the same to Optimal Dave Primus who one ups their heavy machinery golden shower attempt and straight up misses with a cosmic Cleveland Steamer that ends up sending an Autobot collective power dump down their throats.  

The Gener and the Deaner rolling shotgun in the Poop Mobile with Claude, Dave, & Glenn smushed into the back are none too happy to see the death of their music inspiring Demon-god which is why they hit the gas and move in fast towards Black Lantern Polaris.  She tries to stop them as she would with any other automobile moving towards her; but they keep coming.  This of course is not because of their cosmic or musical powers but the simple fact that the car is made not of metal, but completely made of fecal matter which as we all know has no magnetic properties.  They crash into the Black Lantern Mutant and die when they hit her evil Oan Energy field; but the vehicle and the impact affect the daughter of Magneto greatly as the two vile plasmas morph together and turn her into Brown Lantern Polaris.  

Blanka joins Princess Laya and Scarlet in throwing shade at Thunderstrike claiming that Detective Pikachu and Blanka could totally out lightning him.  It doesn't help that Laya and Scarlet are telling Thunderstrike that he is not nearly as cute as the guy who plays the real Thor in the MCU (and he isn't even as cute as his brother in Hunger Games).  Eevee and Piplup are laughing hysterically at the sick burns while drinking some white claws and talking about low carb lifestyles and what they can do for abs that are underwhelming at best.  They start to go nuts with the lightning battle that it sure looks like Thunderstrike is going to win when the lightning hits Astro-Train and Blitz-Wing causing them to crash onto the scene wiping out everyone involved.  

Al Capone wraps up his humanitarian effort to set up the first Play-Off Planet Soup Kitchen and uses his Power Ring to put a Boost spell on Blanka, Shinobi, and his Dog.  They use the added strength and attack points to take out Stripes, Dile, & Zaur; but once Wolverine joins the fight to aid Rewind, Eject, Rosanna, and the other tapes the trio are defeated.  Wolverine is then met by a truly pitched battle as Al backs up Venom; but Logan is still just too good at what he does to be defeated.

Good Ol' Freddy Baker and E.T. the Extra Terrestrial may be higher than every unsuspecting fetus at Woodstock; but that doesn't stop them from joining the last stand led by Kilawog and The Red Hulk.  Fighting prowess mixed with raw power helps this fearsome foursome mow through the likes of Pre-Suit Vader, Darth Nihilus, and even the fully expanded Jet Jaguar before they plot their attack on Thanicron himself.....

Kilawog puts the Four Horsemen of the Transformer apocalypse (as they just started calling themselves) in a green aura to protect them as ET starts the process of flying them directly into the eye of Thanicron to deliver the killing blow.  

"Let's do this" screams Rulk and Kilawog in unison.

As they speed towards the massive space robot ET and Fred hit that funny cigarette one more time before Baker yells:  "YOU MADE YOUR "FRED" NOW SLEEP IN IT SUCKAH"

And....................................